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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne 

4th February 2013:
The first-born child thing sounds a bit like Rumplestilskin? Or Rapunzel? Other than that, i'm not sure.
I've been dreading Voldemort's appearance in this story, and you did full justice to his creepiness.
The characterization of both he and Bellatrix is fantastic in this chapter.
Amazingly well written, as usual, and I love the ending!

Author's Response: Yep, it's Rumpelstiltskin! XD

Voldemort is one of those characters you have to nail on the first go or it will be a disaster. I can't write him unless I'm in a certain mood - oddly enough, the same mood whenever I'm writing Dumbledore. Voldemort and Dumbledore are a lot alike in certain ways, writing-wise.

Glad you liked my portrayals of him and Bellatrix! Thank you for stopping by to read and review. :)


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Review #2, by pickingupthepieces 

20th August 2012:
rumpelstiltskin?

it would be rather amusing for voldemort to be hopping around a fire singing a song :)

okay, this is amazing stuff but you probably already knew that. i really like the way you weave the fairytales into the story. i think that the deathly hallows reference in chapter fifteen really reflected the search for the hallows in dh. it's like the signs are everywhere but never really prominent unless you're searching for them.

okay, this review is pretty pathetic. but your story's not. so update. please? (i learned that from narcissa.)

Author's Response: Yep, Rumpelstiltskin!

Rumpelstiltskin is one of my favorite fairytales, and a sadly underused one at that. Voldy hopping around a fire, lol.

Oh my goodness, thank you. :) There are bits and pieces from the HP series and from fairytales that are more subtle, that don't really pop out unless you're familiar with them and know what you're looking for.

What are you talking about, this review's fantastic?! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) I just finished writing my other fanfic WIP and I'm currently writing original fiction, but I promise to finish Purgatory before Christmas. It's going to be my autumn project. :)


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Review #3, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

25th May 2012:
She found her loophole.

Oy vey.

This chapter was amazing. The best one so far i have to say. I'm so happy that Lucius is awake but for such a large price. I like how you incorporated Voldemort into the story, what a twist. It kind of falls into canon in a twisted sort of way with the inclusion of Voldemort. I didn't expect to see Bellatrix either, that was shocking.

I just wonder how this is going to work out now with the vow and even more people that Narcissa cares about involved. And what is up with Margaret!

Author's Response: Yep! I told you - she goes with the flow until she sees a spot where she can work things to her advantage. This chapter was my absolute favorite to write, and it's the turning point for the story. From here on out, there are still fairy tale elements, but I'm starting on explaining canon events, too. It's the merge of fantasy and canon reality, in one twisted storyline. Suffice it to say that Narcissa and Lucius's futures are going to get a lot more bleak, what with the Death Eater business and all that.

Margaret just keeps getting shuffled around, doesn't she? Although this is where she'll find her niche. This is not the last you'll see of Margaret. ;)

Thank you so much for reading and for the string of super-fabulous reviews!!!

- Sarah


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Review #4, by x3CherryWatermelonx3 

1st January 2012:
This was absolutely brilliant.

Bellatrix was portrayed exactly like J.K. Rowling made her out to be. And I loved the fact that you showed Regulus in the light of not completely sure in his decision to follow Voldemort. I found it absolutely wonderful! :)

This chapter made me think of Snow White slightly with the wicked queen talking to her huntsman about killing her. But then again, it also reminded me of Hercules with Hades and Meg, due to the fact that Hades owned Meg's soul to an agreement she had made with him.

I think the number one thing I loved about this chapter was Narcissa, and how you portrayed her. Unlike the "Harry Potter" books, we didn't get to see too much of her hesitance and compassion for others - except of course with Draco. We started to see more of it in the "Half-Blood Prince" and definitely saw it in the "Deathly Hollows." I really enjoyed how she was portrayed in here, due to the fact we got to see what was hiding throughout all the books.

Now, as I'm thinking of it, I'm wondering how the Unbreakable Vow is going to work with her. I'm just curious how this is going to go on, if we'll get to see Voldemort vanquished because of Harry. As in the books, Voldemort doesn't truly die, and is still alive. I don't see that his and Narcissa's Vow would be broken then. I don't believe that we will get to the parts in the later books like the "Goblet of Fire" and such, but I'm just curious as to how you'd have that play out. He made it clear in the Vow that he wanted her to come to him once she feels the Dark Mark burning, so I'm wondering how that would work in later years.

Nonetheless, it was a wonderful chapter that, yet again, made my mind wheeled with thoughts (as you can obviously see lol). Sorry that this is so long by the way. Onward to the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: I'm so thankful for these amazing reviews - I've read them over and over. It's taken me ridiculously long to get around to responding to them, but I assure you that I appreciate every single one.

I already know how the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa is going to be resolved. As to when you'll see, and how far this story will go, you will find out in time. -mysterious airs-

:D

Thank you so much for reading.


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Review #5, by halfbreed 

10th September 2011:
Rumpelstiltskin, isn't it? The whole firstborn child thing.

Oooh this is so awesome! I love the really strong connection to canon here; it gives so much more meaning to the story, since we know all about her firstborn child *wink, wink*

Even regardless of the rest of this story (which is awesome, naturally), I just love this scene. I have always been curious of how it was that Narcissa and Lucius ended up joining Voldemort's ranks. I even tried writing it a few different ways, but none of them seemed to really do justice to Narcissa. I love love love what you've done with it. That and it fits so well into the story you have. Every bit of it is amazing.

AND YESS LUCIUS IS AWAKE! I bet Mrs. Macnair won't be too happy about that, now will she? They have to find out about her horribleness!

Author's Response: YES LUCIUS IS AWAKE! Eee. I like writing about him too much to keep him asleep, and Voldemort being the one to sever the curse knocked out several birds with one stone:

1. I needed to explain why Narcissa joined Voldemort. A valid reason would be because she was desperate to help someone she cares about.

2. I needed to explain why a mother would ever subject their own child to the horrors of someone as evil as Voldemort. Rumpelstiltskin fit the bill here. :)

3. I needed the curse to break, but not because Narcissa and Lucius followed Circe's rules. I did not want the fairy tale declaration of love, the magical kiss that broke the curse and turned beast back into man. Narcissa is cunning, and Slytherin, and she does everything her own way. I wanted the curse to break because of a loophole, not because she followed conventional orders.


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Review #6, by EvenstarMUA 

30th August 2011:
Can't wait for the next chapter. LOVE LOVE LOVE

Author's Response: THANK YOU! I need to sit down and crank out another chapter. I've been distracted by my other wip but I need to find some kind of balance - this one's gone neglected for almost a month now. I'll try to update it sometime within the next week!

:)


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Review #7, by Lumos_Nox 

20th August 2011:
The fact that I'm still into it 16 chapters later says a lot - I have the attention-span of a five year old. :) So suspenseful - the entire time in the induction ceremony I was like, Don't Do It, Narcissa! Just as good as the first chapter and the chapters between.

Also, usually with fanfiction, the writer has a good plot but really crappy writing (pardon my French). Not only to you have a fantastic plot, you have a great way of carrying it out, and the way you describe things - wow. And not only your plots - your subplots as well, it all entwines (did I use the right word?) so beautifully. 11/10

Author's Response: This review COMPLETELY made my day. Thank you so much. I get kinda meh about flow and pacing, so for you to say that this chapter was just as good as the others, and that you're still interested sixteen chapters later, that means the world to me. It's encouraging like I cannot even express. And thank you for saying that the plots and subplots entwine so well - THAT'S WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR. So yayyy!

This fic will take a backseat to my Fred/OC fic for a short bit, but I will be back to writing it soon.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your reviews are awesome. :)



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Review #8, by TenthWeasley 

11th August 2011:
Oh goodness. You did it again.

I'm going to rave a bit more about your plot for this, because each time I do, you just take it to the next level in the next chapter. Your plots are truly genius, because not only are they engaging -- which is something that can be taught -- yours have a depth and a resonance that is not unlike JKR. You can introduce something seemingly innocent and work to make it a huge feature later on, and that is so difficult to do, and even more difficult to pull off with any degree of wellness. The plot for this novel, especially, with its twists and changes and morphing, makes me so jealous I can't even type. :D You have a gift for stories, and you know exactly how to use it to your advantage. It is simply fantastic, and I have typed the above about probably four different times because finding the words to express how I feel about your plots is tough beyond belief.

The Death Eater induction ceremony? You NAILED it. I cannot even fathom how cool that was, and how canon it seemed, as though JK herself had told you exactly how it was done. (C'mon -- we all know you're great friends.) I think the best part about this chapter, though, was how accurately you portrayed Bellatrix's slavish devotion to Voldemort. That is SO her.

LUCIUS WOKE UP. HE DID. I SAW HIM. I am so, so, so, so glad he's back!!! (He IS back, right?) And that old woman mentioned at the end, is that Wilda? Ooh, she is going to be angry. I am so excited. :D I watch for her specially now because she fascinates me like no other character in fan fiction has quite done -- she is perhaps the most human of all of them.

As for the fairy tale -- uh. The only thing I can think is the Fountain of Fair Fortune (because of the hiking up the mountain), but it reminds me of another one and I can't put my finger on it. Very Book of Lost Things-esque, and I think I've referenced that before. I'll just wait for you to tell me. :)

Sarah? Your writing is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, and I cannot convey to you my feelings about it. I try and never quite get there. Just believe me!



Author's Response: So I wanted (SO MUCH) to save my sanity and write another keyboardmash poem, but I simply cannot. Mostly because this is my favorite review ever, out of any review I have ever received. And I will tell you why.

"The Death Eater induction ceremony? You NAILED it. I cannot even fathom how cool that was, and how canon it seemed, as though JK herself had told you exactly how it was done."

^ that

I have read it, quite seriously, about fifteen times. And each time I read it, I hunch over my keyboard and fold my hands together and it is so reminiscent of Gollum and "my precious" in Lord of the Rings that it's kind of ridiculous and if anyone ever saw me do it, they would probably think that I was possessed by Voldemort or something.

To hear that I nailed it...I cannot even express how that made me feel. For all the work that I put into this story, for you to understand it so completely, and see things that are barely there...and how you appreciate it and keep reading updates even though you're busy enough as it is... You're one of the reasons why I keep writing. I've said it before and I'll never stop saying it: you are an amazing friend. Absolutely invaluable.



SO much love.


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Review #9, by BROKENwords453 

11th August 2011:
My guess would be Rumplestiltskin, not sure if I spelled that correctly, but yeah. Love it! I love that the manner in which you portrayed them was so different from how we all assume. It is one thing to join with a murderer because you support his cause, but it is another thing entirely to join out of devotion for another. Keep writing please.

~})i({~ BROKENwords453

Author's Response: WELL DONE! Yep, that's the fairytale. And I agree, it's more meaningful when you choose a side because of someone you want to protect, rather than for selfish personal means. And to rearrange the story a bit, I made Narcissa take the first leap into Voldemort's inner circle, rather than Lucius. Neither of them realize what they're getting into, though. :(

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #10, by academica 

10th August 2011:
Hey Sarah :)

This was a FANTASTIC chapter. It was quite an interesting turn of events to begin reading about such familiar figures from canon. I loved the imagery you used to describe Voldemort, everything about him a suggestion of death and decay. I also have to commend you for how well you tied this scene into the rest of your story; for example, how Narcissa could compare Voldemort's appearance to that of Lucius.

Your characterization of all of the Death Eaters was brilliant, but I was especially fond of the attention paid to Bellatrix. She has clearly given herself body and soul to the service of her master, and strangely, her devotion doesn't seem out of the ordinary when viewed alongside the behavior of her fellows in Voldemort's service. I also love how you tied in Draco's future in this chapter with Narcissa's promise regarding her first born. I can imagine that Lucius will also be willing to give himself to Voldemort once he is free.

By the way, that, too, is a unique aspect. So often we see Narcissa as the helpless wife, dragged along in Lucius's schemes. But here, she is the heroine, and she looks to be the driving force for the Malfoy family's activities in Voldemort's service. It also casts her behavior during the final battle in canon in an interesting light; she turns from her former promise, deciding to save that which she wanted to rescue in the first place. You've really tied up everything quite masterfully, and I'm sort of in awe of your abilities here!

Great work, as usual. No idea about which fairytale was used here, although I tried to think hard about it. Waiting with bated breath for the next chapter! :)

Amanda (academica; Slytherin)

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!!

Eee, thank you! :D This chapter was kind of exhausting to write, because I knew in my mind how I wanted it to look, and it was important to me that it was executed exactly that way when I actually went to write it. Voldemort was so daunting to write, and I'm sure this chapter will get lots of minor edits in the future because I will continuously want to improve it.

The main reason why I created the Unbreakable Vow, as you caught, was to explain Draco's role. I couldn't quite understand how, as a mother, you could ever subject your own child to such emotional havoc as Draco found himself going through when he still just a student at Hogwarts. So I wanted to justify her reasoning.

I can't stand stories where the female lead is a submissive, helpless damsel in distress. I wanted to make Narcissa more of a powerhouse, someone with determination. Hence, Lucius was Sleeping Beauty and she was the one to save him. I want them to save each other, and take risks, so that they will be equal.

Thank you for reading and leaving such a lovely review. It completely made my day.



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Review #11, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

10th August 2011:
I need the next chapter! Sorry, I'm just so excited. He's awake!

Oh no, poor Narcissa. It's odd that in the books, Narcissa was never considered an actual Death Eater as she never received the Mark, but here she has. Not bad, just odd to read it. Ah, AU. :D

I'm really excited to know what happens next! Is Lucius just awake or is he normal again? I can't wait to find out. :)

I can't, for the life of me, figure out what the fairytale is. I've been so good at guessing so far. But not this time. :(

10/10!

Author's Response: Ahhh, thank you!

I will explain much, much later on in the story about the Dark Mark and Narcissa's Death Eater-ness, since it's not canon. You'll see eventually why I gave her a Dark Mark. ;)

I can't say about Lucius! You'll just have to see. Muah ha ha.

I'll mention which fairytale this chapter contained in the next chapter, so if you don't guess between now and then, you'll see. :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.


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