Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hdawg 

15th August 2012:
That dog in the graphic is adorable :3 I've always wanted one like that.

"Her shadow, the perfect partner, spun across the floor as she did, skimming the base of the stars as she reached. Like a tender lover, its every motion complimented hers in perfect synchrony." I think this is my favourite description from the story so far. It's like Peter Pan, but much more intimate, much more /feeling/. It really, truly shows how lonely Luna is, something that people never quite get right when they write about her. She may be quirky, but that is more to hide her loneliness and sadness - well, that's what I think anyway (and something that you have made me realise even more).

"Hannah's special too. He loves her very much." Score! ;) I always secretly hoped for Luna and Neville to get together at the end, and whether this is intentional or not (or you felt the same as me about it), Luna speaks about him with such a warmth that I can't help but wonder why JKR never did team them up...maybe your Luna is thinking that as well? Or maybe she really does just love him as a friend.

Well if this isn't a perfect description of Luna's love, I don't know what is: "Rocked to the lullaby of the stars, she slept, dreaming in the warm tones of the earth." The earth-child, the naturalist has fallen in love with the warm tones of the earth - Rolf. I really like the way that this is described - it's not over the top, it's not really romantic, it's just the way Luna would feel. I take my hat off to you ♥

 Report Review

Review #2, by Jchrissy 

17th July 2012:
He has a wife! Widow? Divorce? Left him because of his constant traveling with his job?? Ahh! And it just floats right off of Luna. Every single thing is a new experience to her, every word is taken in a different way, every sight -- she sees it different.

Rolf is stunned/intoxicated/smitten with her! He wants to listen to her, to go on hearing her out there ideas, hearing how she speaks of things, how she notices them. Ahh! It's amazing! He's also a bit charming.. I never thought of Rolf as charming.

Her planned adventures are too perfect. I hope her own bit of self humor at the idea of having planned adventures continues, because I love it!

I was left with some odd thoughts. Night time is when I probably speak too freely, when things don't seem as solid and my actions don't seem to be thought about as well. Anyway, watching the snow and following out into the hallway is something I feel like I would do at night, because anything can be done then. BUT Luna would do the same kinds of things any time. I know, this makes no sense, I wish I could figure out how to get it there... but whatever it is I'm trying to say is an amazing compliment, haha!

This story intoxicates me and submerges me. I don't want to come up for air, then it ends too quickly.

I Love love love Luna. I cannot believe, how perfectly comfortable you seem in her head. You are astounding. If I was Rolf I'd already be dropping to one knee asking you/Luna to marry me! And.. er.. if I was a boy. Great, now I have that song stuck in my head.

Okay, I'm done. I'm fangirling over you... that's creepy, huh?



 Report Review

Review #3, by forsakenphoenix 

6th July 2012:
I always love immersing myself in this fic. There's something so magical about the words you use and the imagery. It's so vivid and beautiful. Ethereal, almost.

I could imagine her dancing in her room with her shadow as a partner and following the wind out into the corridor...leading her to Rolf and Barney. Hee, I love Barney; Bernese Mountain Dogs are one of my favorites.

As much as I love Luna's thoughts and her imagination, I so very much adore her interactions with Rolf. She's still so dreamy and a bit aloof and Rolf's fascination with her is endearing. He asked about Neville...I wonder if he was sort of figuring out if she had a man in her life so he could make a move. That makes me smile.

I also am so in love with Luna and her idea that adventures shouldn't be planned. I can only imagine what she's going to get up to when she's out with Rolf and Professor Davin.

I really should read more of this, and I will soon. I hope you get the inspiration and mindset to write some more. You do Luna such justice here and I am continually in awe at your beautiful, descriptive writing.

A minor correction: she wiggled her one of her bare feet - the first 'her' shouldn't be there.

Other than that, this was perfect. I love it.

Author's Response: Barney is one of my favorite characters. He serves as a foil to Rolf's character, plus, I don't think I have to tell you that pets have the ability to say a lot about their owners. Annd Luna. I really love being able to see the world through her eyes while writing this. I think it makes me appreciate the everyday world a little bit more. And Rolf. He is sort of a babe. :P Luna's interactions with him are so simple and easy... and so sit in great contrast to the thoughts she thinks and the observations she makes.

Annd I'm really shocked that that is the only corection you noticed. I have never really put any effort into editing this story... I have a terrible tendancy to write, tweak some imagery here and there, and then to post it almost immediately. :P

Thank you so, so much for your support of this story! It really means a lot to me.


 Report Review

Review #4, by Akussa 

6th March 2012:
Hi again!

I'm really falling in love with your descriptive style. When you take it one sentence at a time, it kind of feels overwhelming and a bit too much but as a whole, it just fits beautifully and doesn't feel heavy at all.

I think you really captured Luna's personality with this story; she doesn't feel like a cliché; she is Luna and that's perfect. Rolf also sounds like a great guy. I really like him so far and how accepting he is of Luna's peculiar behavior. He seems like an easy-going kind of man and it's a joy to read about him.

I noticed a couple little things in this chpater that I thought I should point out to you in an effort to help you improve this amazing story (not that it really needs improvement but, one can always try and reach for perfection, right?). Of course, these are simple suggestions, feel free to ignore them!

"...The warm path of her finger left a clear path..."; this feels a bit redundant, I would suggest writting 'The warmth of her finger left a clear path...'

"...she wiggled her one of her bare feet..."; the first 'her' should be removed, I think

Also, a couple of times, you use the word "compliment" but I feel this is wrong; shouldn't it be "complEment" instead? Or maybe it's just the French in me talking and I'm getting those two words mixed up with the French definition...

Aside from that, everything seemed perfect to me. It was a lovely read and I really enjoy the world you have created for Luna and the Luna you have created as well. It will be very nice to meet Rolf and bit more and to see how you explore his character; great work so far!

Author's Response: Wow. Your breakdown of my description in this fic sort of left me speechless. I always worry about drowning the reader in Luna's thoughts and observations... so I'm very glad to hear that it seems to work. I have had a lot of fun crafting Luna into a real character instead of a characiture. And Rolf is dreamy. lol. Ahh. typos.

I never really took this story seriously until I realized how much attention it was getting in the Dobby arena. It's currently being beta'd for small things, but I really appreciate all the things you've pointed out. I hate errors.

Thank you so much. You're fabulous.


 Report Review

Review #5, by apocalypse 

14th January 2012:
Hey, this apocalypse here with another review!

I lovelovelove your description and how you take one simple thought and twist it around so artistically that it becomes an entire world. Luna's character is admittedly one of the hardest characters to write and I can't ever imagine doing it justice like you do. I love the way you start each chapter; I get immersed in the world you paint, making me lose my own direction momentarily. It's so deep and fresh and makes me wanna dance along with her.

However, I do think that somewhere i between you should keep it simple. I think I've already mentioned something along the same lines in my previous review, but I'm only saying this again to emphasise my point. I know how her thoughts work and how they paint elaborate and detailed pictures but I would also like to see the simpler side, you know? I would love to see the simple Luna that I've seen emerge in the books once in a while, not always, but still often. I hope you know what I mean. =)

Moving on, Rolf! I just love how he's so nice! He's the perfect person for her; he listens and talks and knows her the way she is. His character seems genuine and I really like reading the conversations he has with her. Oh! New detail! He has a wife. Wow. I wonder how you'll switch that around. =P

I, for some reason, love how you make her sleep with her feet under her pillow. To me, it's a sign that she really doesn't think the way people normally do.

A very good chapter as far as the descriptions, the flow and the dialogue is concerned! Keep it up, Mel!

Author's Response: Gah. I feel super redundant right now and apologize. Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate them.

I am so glad you pointed out the bit about showing luna's simplicity from time to time. It was something I worried about writing this, and hopefully something I've acchieved in later chapters.

I hope to keep it up and hope you don't mind if I let you know whenever I get back to updating this story. Your eye for Luna and this fic is a huge asset to me.

xoxo
Melissa


 Report Review

Review #6, by HollyTheHolidayHorklump 

24th December 2011:
I love how Luna sees, sort of like the history of things when she observes them. It's like another sort of sense entirely. The dreams, too. And I feel her descriptions in shades of light and temperature. It's really different!

Ohh, this is one of my fav excerpts. It's another nugget of lovely Luna goodness:
Her shadow, the perfect partner, spun across the floor as she did, skimming the base of the stars as she reached. Like a tender lover, its every motion complimented hers in perfect synchrony. She wondered what it would be like to have such harmony with another person, to compliment and be complimented.

Hee, she just called Rolf a magical creature. I can't imagine what he'd be thinking about at that moment. I've gotten used to Luna's PoV, so I hadn't entirely realized the strangeness of a girl twirling around barefoot in freezing weather in the middle of the night.

Oh, he has a wife! Intrigue! Except not really. But you know, interesting! I expect Barney to become my favorite character. His jingly collar! His tail!

I love how easy their conversation is. I mean, one must be different if you're the kind to mountaineer in the Himalayas all day. There's something I really really like about Rolf. It's his genuine niceness. The kind he gets probably from working as a naturalist all day, in villages and with animals. It's so gentlemanly and rugged at the same time!

Author's Response: Rolf did have a wife... I feel like Luna would be totally okay with that, not questioning it. Some back story will be revealed eventually though. I find myself doing the same thing -- forgetting just how strange Luna is. I get so lost in the scenes as I write them that when I look back ocassionally I just have to smile and shake my head.

Barney is hands down my favorite. I've always wanted a Bernese Mt Dog and so I'm living vicariously through Rolf. He's come to be a convenient foil for the story's develpment.

You're fab, and this review is fab, and just thank you.


 Report Review

Review #7, by Owlpost68 

10th October 2011:
hmm, well I want to start saying how much I love how you word things, each sentence screams Luna lol. I do have a few questions though, how does she know she was speaking to a muggle or a wizard? I thought that might have been hard to figure out between them. Also, I wanted to mention that at the beginning there was a part of a sentence that was worded slightly wrong and was "she wiggled her one of her bare feet" instead of she wiggled one of her bare feet. I did love her dancing, and Barny was so cute! and I was glad to hear about some of his background, but I want to know what happened to his wife. Anyway, on to the next chapter :) great job!

Author's Response: You are actually the first person ever to ask how Luna knew Rolf was a wizard. I have never really thought of that, so here's my on the spot answer... Luna sort of has a way of sensing other people. She's very sensitive to their thoughts and emotions and apparently their magical status. Thank you for your reviews!!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Mihali1432 

2nd October 2011:
*Chuckling* It's so AMAZING! I'm really liking Rolf's character and I want to know the back story you've given him.

Luna seems in character, and to me she would be a VERY difficult character to write without making her OOC somehow. :D

The plot, it's not very far in so I can't really say much but from what I've read it's VERY interesting!

I hope to read more!
Mike. And I really don't know what to say besides that It's really good, or else I would have said more!

Author's Response: You're amazing, you know that!! I really was in need of a little pick me up! Dobby's are stressful. lol. But I appreciate your praise more than you know. I'm so happy that you like my Luna and Rolf. I'm about 85% done with chapter four. It will most definitely be up next weekend!!

Thank you again!
Melissa


 Report Review

Review #9, by onestop_hpfan18 

7th August 2011:
Aw, I love Rolf. And I love his dog, Barney. I love any story that has dogs in, or any kind of animal with its own personality that bounces from the pages, really. And I do think you've done a good job implementing Barney's personality in the way he reacts to Luna's petting him and Rolf's talking of him. This chapter was all very warm and fluffy.

Also, I'd really like to point out in this review, because I forgot to in the first two, that I love how you start each chapter. It's like Luna just floats into being, and that is how I imagine her character. She's very dreamy in the way her thoughts are processed, even the way she speaks, and you do such a good job writing her. Over all, love the story so far and can't wait for you to update it. Keep up the wonderful writing! 10/10 (:

Author's Response: Barney! It's really funny, because Barney existed before I had ever written a word about Rolf. I just knew that a guy like Rolf needed a big burly fluffy sort of mountain dog, and so Barney came into being. Aww. I had never even thought of that!! I always blame it on my love of heavy description that chapters always start slowly... but I'm glad it works for luna. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate all of your reviews today!! :D

Luff you.
Melissa


 Report Review

Review #10, by Toujours Padfoot 

29th June 2011:
The night pressed its lips together, pushing a gust of cool air through them. The dark breath wrapped itself around Luna's twirling form. She gave herself over to it and floated out from her room and into the corridor.

I am so jelly right now. That is fantastic imagery.

I've got to hand it to you, Melissa. You really have a remarkable gift. To be able to open up Luna's world to us, so that we can see through her eyes - so realistically - it's just amazing. She is EXACTLY like she should be, and I credit you a hundred times over because this must be quite a test at times to write. It really is unbelievable, the way she seems to just fall through life, drifting in and out and not really caring what happens, leaving everything up to fate. She accepts that she might not be ready for everything - she doesn't get overwhelmed with curiosity, she just takes it all as it comes. Your depiction of Luna is both the soft-spoken, ethereal girl from canon, as well as the more adult, more in-depth and well-rounded woman that I imagined her to become. I really think that if Rowling were to read this, she would just be blown away by how well you've crafted this character. I hate to say it, but in the books she was just a tad bit two-dimensional. You've really brought her to life, Mel.

I appreciate Rolf's earthiness and his little bit of mystery with his wife. Divorced? Widowed? Somehow, it seems natural that he would have been married before. And someone like Luna would accept all of it, not bothering with nosing for questions, not getting caught up with details from his past life. She's not someone who could be really insecure.

I am just in awe of this story. From the very first paragraph, it sucks me in like no other and it makes me genuinely excited (which doesn't happen often when I read fics) to continue reading and to see what happens next. It's hypnotizing and I find myself watching the snow right along with Luna, likening her to a snowflake herself with the way that she just drifts along in life, ready for anything and always appreciative of the barest of details that most people don't even notice. It's a story that easily wraps a person up, and makes them feel like they really are there, watching it all take place and feeling everything that Luna feels. You really are an extraordinary writer.

Author's Response: Dearest Sarah.

Firstly, let me tell you that I've been avoiding answering this review like the plague. Firstly because it is so overwhelmingly wonderful and secondly because it's been my fuel to get me through chapter four (which I've now finished ! ). Everytime I have felt a lack of motivation to work on the chapter, I've come here and read this. Your support for this fic has been unbelievable.

It consistently amazes me that my imagery continues working. I have this deep seeded fear that one day, it'll stop being endearing and become wearisome.

When I started this fic, I was terrified of writing Luna... she is so intangible and surreal. But as I've written her, I've come to realize that she lives in my head, the little bit that still believes that the earth is limitless and that there is beauty in every moment. It is taxing to write her sometimes, but so carthartic to finally get it right.

I believe Rolf's story surfaces in chapter five (though I can't keep a secret to save my life, so you probably know everything about him already) haha. And Luna has no reason for insecurities. To her, each moment is it's own little universe...seperate and discrete from all the others so there is never a reason for hesitance or second thoughts.

Again, sarah. I can't even begin to tell you how much a part this review was in the chapter four writing process. It never fails to bring a tingle to my finger tips or a smile to my face.

Thank you so much
Melissa


 Report Review

Review #11, by madelgranger 

26th June 2011:
"Her feet tucked snugly beneath her pillow, she stared up into the ceiling. "

I love this - you perfectly capture Luna's essence with these little details. I like Rolf so far, he's a bit of a mystery. One thing I didn't quite get though - is he a wizard? And does Luna know whether or not he's a wizard? Because she mentions Apparition in front of him & I don't think she'd do that unless she knew he was magical. But I could be totally wrong. Anyways, like I said before, lovely lovely chapter! Please come back to my review thread when the next one's up, I'd love to read it. Great job thanks for writing!
~mads

Author's Response: Thanks so much!!

 Report Review

Review #12, by BrightStar 

20th June 2011:
A delicate melody filled her. The harmony wove in and out of the carpet, shone from the ice that had reformed on the window pane, and tingled in her finger tips. It sounded like uninhibited possibility. It felt like freedom. She gave herself over to the sensation, and twirled in time to the slow moving music. Her only audience was cool night air which pressed upon the room with its smooth blackness. Luna extended her right arm skywards, if only she were outside, she was certain that she could have touched a star. Her shadow, the perfect partner, spun across the floor as she did, and skimmed the base of the stars as she reached. Like a tender lover, its every motion complimented hers in perfect synchrony. She wondered what it would be like to have such harmony with another person, to compliment and be complimented.


This paragraph was perfect, i cannot express how much i am in love with your story, writing, characters, everything.

Luna and rolf are again excellent, and i love their developing friendship, and what will presumably be a relationship.

PLEASE write more soon, and let me know when you do :D

Author's Response: It never fails to amaze me that bits of my story that readers quote still sort of surprise me, like, "I wrote that?" I'm so happy you are continuing to enjoy this story and hope to see you back when I start to update it agoin.

 Report Review

Review #13, by DemetersChild 

7th June 2011:
Another lovely chapter. :)

I love your writing style. It just flows so easily and really goes along with Luna's character. I have to say I was a little confused with the jingling and the door part. I thought she was talking about the front door to the Inn, not Rolf's room door. It was rather confusing, though that could have just been me.

I am really enjoying the interactions between the two of them. They're short, but there's a lot that happens in them. I'm curious to find out what happened to Rolf's wife, that's for sure.

Really looking forward to the next chapter! :D

Magically Yours,

Dem

Author's Response: Thank you for yet another lovely review. I'm really at a loss for what else to say.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review