31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by spreaddapoo93 

19th November 2012:
Hello! Haha, I'm absolutely adoring your chapters. You filled in the missing links! Fred's lovely pink shoes - Can I get a pair? I think they'd look fabulous on me - despite the obvious size difference...

The magic converter device is so AWESOME. Your fan fic is like watching any awesome sci-fi/fantasy film (like Minority Report, or Star Wars) and every scene is like, "My Golly, I NEED that gadget!"

Anyway, awesome job! Can't wait to read the next one, so... I'm just going to submit this, rate it 10/10 and move onto the next. :)

P.S. I'm sure Scorpius would like absolutely smouldering in a flowery apron.

Author's Response: Capers has been my most research intensive fic so far. The last chapter that's out right now required SO MUCH finagling because it's an action heavy chapter and the RULES OF MAGIC. ARE SO VARIABLE. And it was totally not jibing with what I needed to happen.

Bea invents the TARDIS by pouring a timeturner on a police box, truefax 8D

♥ considering his daily choice of clothing - which you'll see soon - the apron's a step up!

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Review #2, by PhoenixPulse 

23rd August 2012:
Yeah, I couldn't help it. I had to read more. Mother's going to be so mad at me if I don't break these habits soon... And waking up early for school isn't going to be any easier. Oh well, my english teachers should be happy. This counts as summer reading in my book!

Anywho, enough irrelevance, I really liked this chapter. It was nice to see Bea and Scorpius actually being serious with eachother at the end there. I was really expecting Bea to lose control, like smash the cupcake in his face or something. (Perhaps that would be to cold for Bea though, huh?)

And again, I love peacemaker Albus. His virtues are so adorable, I've got myself wishing that all boys can be like him. Honestly, Hufflepuff Albus rules, and the way you write him, I can truly say Albus really should be in Hufflepuff. Next time I read another fanfic with Albus in it, and he's placed in Gryffindor or Slytherin, I'll pretend he's a Hufflepuff, because my viewpoints have been changed!

Okay, I'll stop with my crazy obsession with Albus, I fear it will grow unhealthy :)

Now the big debate, should I go to bed, or chapter eight?.I go with chapter eight! :D

Author's Response: Hah, this is totally legit summer reading. Your reviews can be like book reports. IT WORKS.

She might have ! (though, I don't think she has the heart to smash a perfectly good cupcake on purpose) I think she was influenced quite a bit by what had happened with Freddie, and didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

I love that everyone loves Albus. I wanted to write him as the kind of kid most people would pick on in real life. He's overeager and too honest about his intentions - and that's how he's brave. He is unabashedly himself, something that many people never achieve.

Eeek, if I can convince more people to accept a Potterpuff as headcanon, then that alone is worth it :3

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Review #3, by Aderyn 

6th August 2012:
Oh Albus. I didn't even think he could manipulate people, but there he goes, tricking Harry Potter xD

I love the description of the transistor--I feel like I get the sense of what it looks like, and it seems very cool. After seeing your art blog/tumblr, that makes me think that you should draw a picture of it, it's such a vivid description :D Also, I realize now that parts of the description are, perhaps, a bit ominious, foreshadowing what's to come. Inanimate objects that "breathe" and alter colors are definitely things to be careful with!

Lucy and Rose's bickering is rather funny. It's a bit funny actually, because Rose acts so much like how I'd imagine Percy would (though with a touch more crazy), so maybe that's why Lucy can't seem to agree with her.

"That rhymed a lot more than I'm comfortable with." Ha. Oh Verona...

Also, I love the idea of wearing those shoes to get up the stairs--genius idea.

Aw, Bea and Fred. The whole conversation is a bit sad actually. I guess what they both said is true, but it's not a happy moment, because even if Fred has always tried to reign in Bea's mistakes, he isn't willing, right now, to help her with this.

Hee. Bea can be such a little kid when it comes to cupcakes. I don't often get people baking me food, but I can sort of relate to that. I have definitely done really stupid things when I'm sort of panicking in a situation. Though the results don't normally end up like this: "Now they were staring at each other and she had frosting smeared all across her face." This is probably funnier. :D

Finally, that disclaimer at the end of the chapter that 'artiste' doesn't mean 'deranged' made me laugh, as did the idea that someone would believe it, since Lucy said it :P

Author's Response: XD I never even thought of it that way. Ahh, Albus used to be so pliable, back when he just wanted to follow along his friends. He's come a long way :3

I drew like a half-picture of it xD I never wanted to draw the whole thing in case I wanted to change my mental image of it one day. It's just always been this half-sphere... thing... insert description here.

Bahaha, Lucy, in essence, living with her father. Oh Merlin!

A few days ago, my friend wore her running shoes and they had pink soles, and I immediately thought of the Feminine Feet soles 8D

I have this story (that I'll probably tell elsewhere one day, perhaps next chappie, but for now, I'll tell you), that I actually resemble Bea and Scorp a lot when it comes to apologizing. In that I don't know how to apologize, except by shoving things (emoticons and kitten gifs and well, cake) in front of people and hoping it makes them happy 8D

♥ eeek, so much love for all your backwards reviewing. I had a blast remembering all these old scenes.

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Review #4, by Bluestreakspirit 

7th May 2012:
AWWW FRED! :'( no! This issue must be resolved ASAP. Bea gave her Truce Tart™ to the WRONG guy - symbolism, anyone? - and that made me a bit upset. Bring back the Fredster!


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Review #5, by WhatAboutRegulus 

20th January 2012:
I think that the pacing is good so far for this story. I remember you saying at the beginning of the story that you are trying to see the Harry Potter world as JK would. If it's dark and plotty, you got it down! Lot's is going down in this chapter! Scorpius and Bea at a.mutual understanding? What?! Hahah and that cupcake scene just made me laugh. I'm trying to read at least one chapter a day, but since I keep getting on fanfic at 1 am, its proving difficult... whoops!

Anyways! Awesomely, amazing chapter! Onto 8!.. but tomorrow, when I don't have school and there's snow on the ground. I can always read better with snow on the ground :D



Author's Response: Thank you! :D I try to go back and edit as much as I can. Bahaha, the best mutual understandings are over a bit of dessert, I say.

I can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter! ^__^

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Review #6, by hdawg 

6th January 2012:
FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF. THAT IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR. FLUFF. And if you're going to come out with some witty line like "buy a vacuum cleaner" then NO WAY! I WILL SING MY LOVE FOR THIS FIC (and for fluff) FROM THE ROOFTOPS!

I already adore Mr Welly. He's basically like Bea in animal form. Maybe her Patronus should be a Kneazle and not a goat...meh. Just a random thought.

"It was like when he ate lunch with Uncle Neville next to his prized man-eating Devourer Bud..." I would like to hear more about this. This sounds interesting and a situation with so much potential for Albus to whip out some lulz. Just as long as they aren't stories like this, however interesting it might sound: "Just don't get too close on that one day of the month, and her seeds won't try to implant themselves in your leg."

"You're like a lovable crazy. Kind of kooky, weird hobby, occasional health hazard. Rose, on the other hand, is more of an axe-murderer." Wow. I wish Colin 'good luck' with that her.

"If you like these opportunities so much, you go get them yourself. Malfoy's giving them away like hotcakes, isn't he? Money, fame, leggy girls. Opportunity hotcakes with extra syrup! Taste delicious until you start choking on the lies and get backstabbed by a butter knife!" Wow. And now I understand why this won the award for best quote. Bea is so 'at one' with her metaphors. Me like.

Oh, this reminds me of the better days..."little Bea Chang, the sugar-minded third year that followed him and James around for chocolate bars." Those happy, happy times...

"she had an axe murderer and a Hufflepuff." Sounds like a thrilling party. Maybe they should invite a werewolf and a tipsy goblin and see how things progress. I should really stop asking you to create these little sentences into fully-blown situations.

"The ghosts had their poker nights. Prefects, thinking that they were alone, were always up to odd things - picking their nose, talking to themselves, breaking out into interpretive dance. The Hogwarts night life." Wow. Just...wow. I am now picturing Nearly Headless Nick picking his nose and then doing the funky chicken - crossovers are too much fun.


"But little could be said of either of them noticing the change between them either, so imperceptible on the surface that one might even argue that nothing had changed at all." THEY'RE IN LOVVEEE. I knew it. I knew it. Go Hannah!

SO MUCH FLUFF. I LOVE IT. And he's about to follow her! I cannot wait!


Albus could be anywhere and be adorable. He could be sitting in a chair, and something will fail. In fact, he's probably sitting in a chair most of the time while things fail.


Teehee, I gave Annie the flash mob situation. She will get to that in due time. If I only had the space/time to detourrr. Then alll the miscellaneous antics. There'll be a Slytherin swim off? Cough.


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Review #7, by forsakenphoenix 

23rd December 2011:
Oh, Albus, you are still so adorable. I love that he feels safe and trusts those around him implicitly. It says a lot about his character and it's definitely not something that I've seen in a characterization of Albus ever, but it works in this story.

LOL, Lucy. "Louis is an artiste, which is French for deranged. He stalks people and takes their photos." AND MATING SEASON. oh my god. "Just don't get too close.."

Albus sputtered a hasty apology as he shielded his eyes (though she was fully clothed). LOL. I just want to squish Albus, for realsy. He's just too cute for words.

NO! FRED AND BEA CANNOT JUST BE...OVER. Please fix this ASAP, or stop MY HEART FROM BREAKING because they're like biffles and...and "when the hurt flashed across his face, she knew she had said the wrong thing." REALLY? Just..my heart! D:

"What are you — no no no!" Scorpius waved wildly, distraught. Oh, Scorpius. Bea just crushed your apology with her HAND. Bam! How's that for apology accepted? Ahahah. OH MY GOD, HE BAKES TOO? I totally ship me/Scorpius. SO HARD. *dreamy sigh*

Ha, I totally figured Bea would just shove the cupcake in her mouth. That's totally what I do when I don't know what to say. Food = no opportunity to speak.

Hum...Scorpius/Bea? I'm still shipping Fred/Bea, but there is potential and you have planted a seed..you are very good at misleading your readers, you know...

Author's Response: Albus is such an endearing soul :3 He might seem naive, but I like to think he chooses to give people a chance. He's also just generally cuddly.

I can't resist a good artist joke 8D

D'AW NO IT'LL ALL BE OKAY. Soon. Maybe. Cough. BUT DON'T BE SAD. Just think about Scorpius baking.

When I began this fic, one of my goals was a shipping war, no lie :D I'm quite obvious in my ships, but there really won't be much mushy romance in general. Fluff, however, I do love - and there'll be fluff for every pair imaginable, hehehe.

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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll 

19th December 2011:

Guess who's finally got the time to read this!! I love it. Really, truly love it. Your characterisations are so three dimensional. I think I may love Fred. As such, I ship Fredmel. I just want to hug him and make him feel better even though he's being a bit petty. Lucy is hilarious. I really enjoy her characterisation as well. I didn't mind the plotiness of this chapter at all... It is necessary and you pulled it off very well, dear.

Shall read chapter eight asap... expect some more rambly reviews!


Author's Response: MELLL! Teehee, you shall have to fight Nisha for Fred. Poor sensible guy; honestly, he makes the same decisions that I would (I am, alas, the party pooper). But conversely, I'm also the Lucy, who tells /everyone else/ very bad ideas just for the hell of it 8D

Glad you liked it! ♥

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Review #9, by SnitchSnatcher 

10th September 2011:
I'm adding Albus to the expanding list of Gina's Characters Who Should Live in My Pocket. He's becoming so manly, actually saying what's on his mind instead of keeping his silence. It's sexy. :P

I feel like because he and Bea shared some tart, their friendship has reached a new level. An awesome level, of course. And I really glad that Fred swooped in at the last minute to save the day. Such a reliable point man, he is.


Aw, they left the room smiling! That is so cute! Maybe Scorpius can be her friend, too, when Fred leaves!

Author's Response: Becoming manly?! Aww, it would make him so happy to hear that. Beam with pride, Albus. Beam with pride.

Bea and Albus are actually very good friends; she just picks on him a lot. Poor Albus.


:3 ~Friendship rainbow~

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Review #10, by lizmusic45 

8th September 2011:
I'm going to mention three things.

One: You know how I said, oh Fred is just wonderful. I never said that I was deranged.

Two: Albus Severus Potter. Oh my gosh I love him! Maybe because he is just super cool, and a total cutie, or maybe it's just because he's so freaking hot.

Two: Scorpius Malfoy.Wait he cooks? Well I can't ressit a man who cooks, and is shirtless...well he was in the previous chapter.

Lizzie, he's probably put his shirt back on.


I still like Fred, just not as much as the other pieces of hunk.

Anyway...I liked the chapter even though it was more plottly, and serious.

No I'm pretty sure Louis is deranged...so yes he is a artist :) I'm just kidding :)

Lizmusic16 :)

Author's Response: Bahaha, all the boys are adorb in their own way. Cooking shirtless is probably not the best idea, unfortunately. At least not if he's cooking bacon ;D

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Review #11, by silverstarletworld 

5th September 2011:
Sorry my review got cut off.

I know I have said it before but OMG I LOVE ALBUS. He is so cute. My favourite Hufflepuff ever!! And omg HOW DID I NOT REALIZE, you have aaron johnson as Albus on your banner right?!? I think I actually died a little. He is sooo Dreamy.

"Excuse me, I am an artist. Louis is an artiste, which is French for deranged. He stalks people and takes their photos. Maple is a victimless installation. She sits on the windowsill and photosynthesizes." - LOL (insert tears of laughter here)

I love how you have Al giving Bea the voice of reason. And Bea and Freddy, oh dear. I hope they manage to sort everything out soon :-).Fred was acting like such a girl though but I love him still.

OMG SCORPIUS CAN COOK :O?!?!?! You know it was tied between my favourite characters being Al and Scorpius but Scorpius has just found himself back in the lead again, thanks to his cooking skills. DOES HE COOK SHIRTLESS?!? lol totally kidding. What is Scorpius agenda?! Hm.

I am still sad about the no love for Rose/Scorpius but I shall totally let you off as this story is so yummy :D!! Also
'Her sh4oulders sagged wearily.' - just a typo that I found :-).

STILL AMAZING!! And You have really got me hungry for cupcakes now lol.


P.S sorry if you thought you had gotten rid of me lol (insert evil chuckle) I am still here I am afraid

Author's Response: He is, he is Aaron Johnson! As fail as Albus is now, he'll grow up to be dreamily beautiful at the rate my casting's going XD

Maple is quite the crowd pleaser 8D If only there were an award for Best Bonsai.

Bea's really not the best when it comes to friends and appreciating them. If it weren't for Albus, she's probably be cooped up in her room all the time, just inventing. Albus spreads the adorable and rainbows and Hufflepuff-yness.


I will say right now that Rose and Scorpius won't ever happen, but I'll probably make a lot of references to Scorose, so hopefully, that's good enough :D

Thank you! :D AND I'D NEVER WANT TO GET RID OF YOU! I've missed your reviews -- they brighten up my day so much ^__^

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Review #12, by silverstarletworld89 

5th September 2011:
I know I have said it before but OMG I LOVE ALBUS

Author's Response: Bahaha, I LOVE ALBUS TOO.

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Review #13, by peppersweet 

1st September 2011:
I have never reviewed this chapter because I am a degenerate no-good artist and our sort don't hold much stock with punctuality and consistency and whatnot. Hope that provides some form of explanation for my extreme lateness, but, you know, i'm just being fashionably late and all.


omg failbus squeee bunnies and sunshine and rainbows and glitter and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens eee eee eee he has to lie to his dad what a failbus, like a bus of fail only with black hair. *pats albus on head, patpatpat*

'It was like a welder's puzzle: a metal amalgamation of scrap parts fused and forced into a rectangular shape, an alloy of alloys.' IS THE TRANSISTOR STEAMPUNK?


arteeste = french for deranged? trusay. truuusay.

I kind of want Rose to get too close to Maple during mating season. That'd be the weirdest kind of crack pairing ever, even weirder than previous permutations involving filch/whomping willow and yusuf/yusuf's cat.

sparkly pink shoes? ooh i love it.

'Opportunity hotcakes with extra syrup! Taste delicious until you start choking on the lies and get backstabbed by a butter knife!'...this may be the best analogy I've seen in, like, my whole life, ever.


Ghosts and their poker nights? Please write. (still waiting on a Maple POV chapter, y'know)

actually, write prefect interpretive dance. i can help with choreography through the medium of skypeland, when skypeland isn't being a fred.

APOLOGY CUPCAKES AND TRUCE TARTS, I HEREBY NAME THIS SHIP *cracks champagne bottle off edge of scorbeaus ship, ship glides out into harbour, numerous skypelanders cheering and waving it out to sea, puffins raving on nearby rock*


sorry for being so late. ACCEPT THIS APOLOGY CUPCAKE.

Author's Response: JULIA REVIEWS, REJOICE! I see you have arrived on Hipster time. Review when no one is reviewing.

Even Al's hair fails. It's all floppy and fringy like your Scorp-o's


Who are we kidding? Artist = English for deranged. & Rose/Bonsai, I can dig it. Draco/Bonsai/Rose lurve triangle.


Too many things to write ;_; Hogwarts flash mob & various other fails are on the list.



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Review #14, by TweetyByrd 

15th August 2011:
Too tired to say anyting really coherent. See rating.

Author's Response: Unfortunately I can't D; I hope it's okay!

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Review #15, by hanna 

10th July 2011:
God this is amazing! :O :D But I kind of would want James to make an appearance (A) You have explained how he is and stuff, but I want to know if he acts like Bea or more like Fred... ;) Anywayyy, I really love your story, and I hope that you update soon! :D

Author's Response: Thanks! :D James is definitely making an appearance, but it's going to take awhile.

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Review #16, by TallestTower 

9th July 2011:
♥ Oh Freddie. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. Not that I ever disliked him, I always loved his character, but then he made me all sad, but now he makes me all sad for different reasons. It was like BAM when he swooped in. I don't want them to drift apart. Psh realism, can't we live in rainbows and cupcake land all the time? (You see now why I love Albus so much)

Which brings me neatly to the Albus/Bea heart to heart. OTP ♥ Especially when she thought she was rubbing off on him, I was like bawww, she's his hero or something. And when she was explaining stuff to her. Oh. So. Cute. And he gets distracted by shiny things. Sigh, I love him. ♥

And Lucy and Rose were brilliant too. Psycho (physco) Rose is always amusing and you can't help but feel for the girl (well, some people might be able to help it, but nevertheless...). Both her and Albus are like wandering lost puppies. Admittedly one is rabid, with killer jaws and foaming at the mouth, but puppies all the same.

I really like Scorpius. He accidentally let slip a bit of his humanity in this one I think, woops. I knew it all along. ;) That final sentance was so cute.

And Fred, yes, my feelings have definately changed. It's all sad and serious times. ): I just want to give him a hug. Or an Anjali. Although she's to busy flirting with Albus, right, right?!

incredible chapter, tons of quoteable moments (anything involve albus, and other stuff too :D), bravo mi amigo. ♥

Author's Response: RAINBOWS AND CUPCAKE LAND~ oh wait that's just Katy Pery land D:

EVERYONE IS ALBUS' HERO. Bless that kid. This is how you can see he's inspired by corgis.

Physco ♥ oh Helena. only you. Omg, Rose is a rabid corgi -- IT TOTALLY WORKS.

Scorpius? Feelings? Pshawww no waaay.

Snerk, you guys and your Anj/Al. you know I have to do it now. YOU WOULD ACTUALLY SIC THAT CRAZY LADY ON FRED? XD AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY? Not that you know, it'll ever be better at some other point -cough-

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Review #17, by Mad Hatter 

9th July 2011:
It's when Bea's inventing that we see what she's really like -- she's so hyper and ditzy most of the time that people probably underestimate her; but when she's inventing and she knows what she's doing, she's intelligent and focused and she knows more than you do, even if she was exploding something five minutes ago. I love this side of Bea; it's a change from what she usually presents but it's not unbelievable. It works.

I adore the Feminine Foot Soles. They are ingenious! Perfect! Wonderful! I wonder if the Marauders thought of them. Probably not. I could argue that the staircase probably goes on more than shoes, but pssh, as if.

OH OH OH I HAVE SOME POSSIBLE CONCRIT. Perhaps watch your Americanisms? They aren't too obvious (but please, don't make the mistake of calling someone's fringe their 'bangs'), but I'm not sure I've ever come across 'hotcakes' except at Maccas (and okay, it's been a decade since I've lived in the UK and I live in Australia now, but...but still). Otherwise, still flawless.

Also, again before I forget, I do like how you made Bea find it hard to stick with one project for long in Chapter One -- it's a significant marker of ADHD and (regardless of whether you did that on purpose or not) it made me feel all fuzzy to see it there. Bea isn't just some sort of hyped-up uncontrollable sugar fiend, but (to me) she fits the bill for ADHD quite well. And perhaps I'm imagining it, but I've got to look for characters with disabilities where I can find them, as they are so few and far between. So thank you.

While you're preparing Fred's funeral, I'll be over here mourning Bea and Fred's friendship -- there wasn't even a fight for it, but I understand why. As she said, next year there would be no Fred and it was bound to happen. Poor darlings. I do hope Fred understands before long.

Gah, I love Albus. Naive, but not in an annoying way -- and he really does mean well, no matter what he does. I want to cuddle him forever.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME FREDDIE? You're making me sad. This is a humour story! But your 'tiredness' and you and Bea and oh, I hope you sort this out. Re: your author's note, I love how you write Fred and Scorpius -- they're both very believable, complex and brilliant (and I'm slowly coming around with Scorpius). Brilliant chapter, my dear!

Author's Response: I'm glad it works; I have a huge problem balancing the serious and the crack-humor, what with its mood-whiplash and whatnot xD

Maybe the Feet Soles convert the lingering testosterone into estrogen and -- let's just call it magic. IT WORKS BY MAGIC! :D

I shall definitely try to look out for my Americanisms. Helena poked at my usage of 'band-aid'. Capers is considerably less British than my other WIPs, in that I can't imagine most of the characters in a British accent, which I could in Game.

I definitely did not intend the ADHD, but I shall take the credit for it anyway! :D Haha I think I just tried to make sure her hyper attention span is not just a throwaway trait, but really does affect her personal life and inventing.

Fred and Bea are bury-ers. Problem? Bury it. It gets a brief mention in the next chapter. Although eventually the mountain of dirt gets too big...

That you adore Freddie ♥ I LOVE YOUUU.

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Review #18, by ohsayitaintsox3 

30th June 2011:
Hi! I stumbled upon your story and I'm happy to say that I'm liking what I'm reading! I love the way the whole story is set up, with the original premise and characters that are so relatable (:

And I think you're doing a fine job writing Fred and Scorpius. I like Fred's rationality and how he cares more about Bea and her work than she thinks. And I just like Scorpius! I like how he's more than just an "asshole," like how he might seem to everyone at first or be portrayed in other stories. Here, he has a purpose behind going after Bea's invention and (I hope I'm reading it right) how he reveals more of himself, kinda like peeling the layers of an onion. I can't explain it. I hope I make sense haha.

Anyways, great job on the story! Can't wait for the next part (:

Author's Response: A new reader! :D I'm glad you like it!

IT'S LIKE AN ONION! EXACTLY! Most of my struggle's with keeping the characters relatable and flawed, but also while not making the plot too heavy. Oh the eternal struggle. But it's slowly improving~ and you really did get the characters as I intend :D

Thanks for the review! :) I'm writing it now!

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Review #19, by Christine_Nighting 

21st June 2011:
YAY! I can't wait for another chapter!!! :D

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D

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Review #20, by Hermiohninny 

19th June 2011:
I love it! Hahaha it's hilariously good!:)

Author's Response: Thanks :D!

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Review #21, by SunSation Gal 07 

14th June 2011:
I don't think it's possible for me to get through a chapter of this story without laughing. Your iffy about how you write Fred and Scorpius. Well, I believe that you write them both brilliantly. And this story is brilliant and I look forward to the next chapter and seeing where this goes now that Scorpius apologized.

Author's Response: Baww thanks for all your reviews Jeanie. There's definitely lots to come! :D

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Review #22, by soliloquy 

7th June 2011:
fred. i see him as responsible. always thinking about the future. always practical. he foils bea, who is more 'for the this moment' and is less practical. she's more about the thought. the idea. this creative energy is what she thrives on -- something i can relate to. fred. i can relate to him, too. he's just trying to be...i have to say it again...practical. he understands his place as the side-kick, which makes him kind of sad because he wants to be like james; he's sort of shoved into the shadows, what, with being james' wingman and bea's map-quest. he's conflicted, because he knows the facts and knows that they need scorpius but he also understands (not fully, of course) where bea is coming from.

scorpius. i think there's more to him. he seems you know, arrogant, throwing money around. i think he's sensitive, though, underneath it all. maybe a little insecure about being a malfoy? scared that he won't be able to live up to his name? but of course, he doesn't show it. instead, he has this cold, arrogant facade that everyone buys. and i think at times, even he buys it a little. :/ i think he's in denial about who he is. and he sees bea as his ticket to maybe prove to his father (but probably more to himself) that he's a malfoy through and through. but i think bea's growing on him. ;)

so, fred = practical and conflicted. scorpius = complicated? emo? listens to avril lavigne? :P

you're great. stop worrying! :D

Author's Response: AW YOU UNDERSTAND. I'm still trying to work out the kinks (i've been sporadically editing when I've been able to), because Fred, although somewhat easy to sympathize with, just isn't as compelling as everyone else, I think. I think I've made him too much sulky in the shadows xD But he is that, very much that at times!

Scorpius, there's definitely a lot underneath, and I have to say, you have quite a few good guesses as to what's in store for him ;) I don't think I ever saw him as particularly cold, more sort of fake (like a salesman), but you're definitely right that even he forgets that it's an act sometimes.

Hee, and yes, he secretly listens to lavigne 8D

triple ♥!

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Review #23, by Evie 

5th June 2011:
I just found your story, and read the whole thing in one sitting, so my review might be a bit long. Apologies in advance :)

First off, I LOVE pretty much everything about this - plot, characters, dialogue. I'm pretty picky when it comes to characters - most authors normally pick one characteristic and try to make it a character's whole personality - eg, Scorpius is the snarky, sarcastic type, so he's snarky and sarcastic ALL THE TIME, and that's basically the entire depth of his character. Normally authors then try to develop a relationship and pass it off as character development - without actually deepening the character, just giving them a love interest. But I really like the multi-faceted approach you give your characters - Bea isn't just the bumbling, absent-minded inventor, she's also strong-willed and independent - sometimes overly so. Scorpius isn't just snarky and sarcastic, he also gets mad, embarrassed, passionate... The only character I have a bit of a problem with (and I mean this as constructive criticism) is Fred. It's kind of hard to pinpoint it exactly what it is, but I think it's that the reader doesn't really connect with him. He doesn't seem that invested or interested in Bea's projects, so why is he so keen on teaming up with Scorpius to save them? Maybe showing a bit of a more passionate side of his towards something (his friendship with Bea, his ambitiousness to do well with the product, etc) would help the reader understand him and connect to him a bit more. Because while I feel sad that his and Bea's friendship is on the rocks, I don't really mind that much, and at this point just want Bea to get more involved with Scorpius/Anj (whose character I LOVE, btw - but maybe in the future take her out of her comfort zone? Like, have her be embarrassed or shy about something. I know it's still early in the fic, but just so she doesn't develop this unflappable, perfect image).

A short side note - I like that you don't try to make Bea perfect physically. You avoided the 'perfect eyes and flowing long hair' trap that a lot of writers fall into. I connect with her far better when she's described as a normal teenage girl (wrinkled her face like a pug? loved it). And honestly, her intelligence > looks anyday. So yeah, keep on with that!

I also like that you keep the secondary characters involved enough and give them their own mini plots and problems to go along with the main one. It really fleshes out the story and makes it seem like it actually takes place in the real world, and not just centers around a handful of people. If anything, I would do this a but more - not so much to detract from the main story/characters, but just a few new names/people/past events that are mentioned here and there. It gives more of a community feeling to the setting, so that we're aware that this story actually takes place in a school with hundreds of students, not just the five or six that are main characters. It's a small, and maybe unnecessary, improvement, but I think that if you're looking for things to work on, this could be one of them:)

Your writing is fantastic - I have way too many favourite lines to write down here, but I love the humour and interesting imagery you use ('kneading her face like a stress ball' ^^). The wit and banter completes the whole thing for me - that kind of dialogue is honestly one of the first things that draws me into a fic. I have high hopes for future Bea/Scorpius conversations :)

The plot's developing pretty believably so far. And can I just say that as a science/tech nerd myself, I just adore the whole premise of this story. I'm glad that someone decide to tackle a topic like this :)

So...yeah. This fic is amazing, exactly what I was looking for. The was you write you characters is by far my favourite thing, with the humour coming in a close second :)

Sorry for writing an essay, but it's my first review; I promise the rest won't be so long winded! Hope this all made sense, and can't wait for the next chapter!


Bahah I remember making a blog post about those kinds of characters over on the forums; I call those, stubborn-is-my-only-trait characters. I'll be honest, I do care about writing Bea and Scorpius the most and Fred really frustrates me and I can see that it shows in my writing. It's something that I've been meaning to fix, slowly but surely. I'm thinking about introducing certain traits of his earlier in the story, and your suggestions are awesome actually! Gave me some ideas :) I think it pinpoints exactly what I need to focus on and that's some of the best piece of advice I've gotten so far ♥

As for Anjali, next chapter should have oodles of her. She hasn't quite shown up enough yet, but I do have a lot prepped for her and hopefully it'll turn out well. And Fred for that matter, so hopefully I'll like him better by then too xD

Haha! I don't feel compelled to describe Bea beautifully, especially with what an unhygienic mess she is, although I'll admit my weakness for making the guys awfully hot.

I haven't read the HP books in a long time, but I've always been impressed by how JKR was able to incorporate so many minor characters into her books. It's something I'm working on, although I've found it's quite tough! I'll be sure to keep a lookout for opportunities as I edit :)

Thanks so much for the review! It completely made my day :D And I love meeting new fellow tech nerds (I'm in comp sci with dwindling knowledge of high school physics -- woe!). Now I feel compelled to edit everything xD Ahaha. FRED, I WILL LEARN TO LIKE YOU YET.

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Review #24, by thegirllikeme 

5th June 2011:
So I wrote this review WHILE I was reading this, just in case you wanted to hear all of my rambling thoughts about another awesome chapter (of course, I'm assuming it'll be awesome; I haven't actually read it yet.).

So, it starts out with Albus in the Ravenclaw’s dorm room, which makes me wonder. In canon, the Gryffindor common room is rigged so that that boys can’t go into the girls' dorms (though girls can go into boys dorms, oddly enough), and I assume it would be that way in all the houses. Of course, there could be an explanation about how it would be possible. I wrote in one of my stories that the boys can get into the Slytherin girl’s dorm because “this is Slytherin; someone took care of those pesky Charms ages ago.” I’m sure you could explain it, but since you never really did, it’s kind of a mistake against canon. But it doesn’t take away from my enjoyment anyways, so onwards and upwards I suppose.

I found Bea’s little rant about science and wizards hilarious. I always was curious about the fact that wizards don’t see to study basic things, science being one of them. It’s as though, just because they’re wizards, they’re allowed to get away with being ignorant *rolls eyes*. It’s a thing that always bugged me about the HP series, so Bea is definitely right: Oh, wizards!

“A Snitch was lodged in the pipes down at the lockers and it still hadn't been found by either the Seeker or plumber.”

This line was hilarious! HAHA! Just one of the many wonderful gems you put in these stories.

And Fred and Bea… drifting apart. That’s so sad. Though I find it rather interesting (undecided whether in a bad or good way) that Bea was so resigned to it. They’ve been friends for forever. No matter if you do see the inevitable coming, it should still sting. I guess it’s one of Bea’s little quirks. Either that or she was more upset than she let on. But Fred – he sounded gutted. So sad!

And they’ve yet to make amends. I hope they do.

Oh and I found an error: “Bea already regret her decision.” Should be regretTED.

I can’t believe Bea accepted Scorpius’s apology. I really didn’t think she would. It makes me curious about what it means. Will she accept his offer? Was he actually sincere about his apology? Hm, curious, curious.

You said you wanted feedback for Scorpius and Fred. I think I mentioned in my last review that I LOVE your Scorpius. The arrogance, the intensity, the hawtness (lol), with the right mixture of both brilliance and stupidity (a very typical guy, lol) is just awesome. Fred, well, I like him as a character, but as I mentioned, it’s not what I pictured him to be. He doesn’t take after either his parents, and since in psychology, the parents (particularly the one of the same sex, though there are exceptions) are the default program (I will admit, I do see SOME pieces of George in him, though not the typical side of George you think about). Plus, I would think that the son of George Weasley would have to have a little more of a sense of humour just in in order to survive his father. Hopefully, you don’t take this wrong, because I love this story and still love Fred and think he’s a well-rounded character. He’s just not at all what I pictured (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing – I love ideas that break the mold).

Anyways, I thought it was a great chapter and I still had a few snickers, even if it was a more serious chapter. Keep writing. I adore this story!

Author's Response: OMG LONG RAMBLING REVIEWS! My favorite ♥

Teehee, I love your explanation for the Slytherins. I do explain it with the Feminine Feet Soles (just later, with Fred), but I can see it's a bit unclear that I'm implying that Albus is wearing a pair as well. -fixes- It'll be a product that'll pop up often.

That whole issue of science and magic is what actually first inspired this fic! :D I'm a nerdy one myself, and I always wondered what it'd be like to reconcile the two. Treating magic like a force, one molded by intentions, it's quite fascinating really! Wizards and their silly nonsensical inventions and reasonings are some of the funniest bits of HP xD Remembrall, anyone?

Bea's resignation is modeled a little after my own experiences. I understand it's not a common trait, and it is very brash, but I hope it seems honest as it develops. Her resignation doesn't mean she doesn't care, but that she moves on quickly. She has things to do. Bea isn't the best interpersonal girl, and it's difficult for her to show that she really cares, and she doesn't realize that she can come off as selfish. Also, she's so absorbed in her work sometimes, that she really does forget about her friends.

It's a trait I express quite a lot in my fics overall actually. People usually associate cold independence with brooding enigmas, but even the sugar-filled heroine is capable of it. I'm not sure if it's evident, but I've sort of wanted to show that Bea's actually not terribly close to anyone, except maybe Albus, but only because *he* makes the effort.
For the Bea/Scor apology, I wanted it to be sort of an insignificant event that unexpectedly holds a great deal of meaning to the both of them. I don't think their opinion of each other has changed too much, but the possibility of that opinion changing didn't exist before; now it does.

I'm still mulling about my apologies; I couldn't find the right words to explain the different between her apology to Fred (and it not being wholeheartedly accepted) and Scorpius' apology to her. It was actually my worry that Bea's sudden acceptance of Scorpius' apology would seem too quick.

Haha, no I appreciate your opinion. I have a little character backstory bio written up in my notes, about how he and James would always hang out as a kid at his Uncle's shop, and how Fred was never quite as good at prank or as charismatic as James, but that he *was* good at accounting and taking stock of his father's shop. He latched on to his talents (rather than stay second best) and they complemented James', and that role of being the "wingman" molded his personality as he grew older. And I'd imagine George would like to see him loosen up, but that he's glad enough having raised such a responsible son. It's something I really need to talk about soon, if not edit in an old chapter xD

Thanks so much for the review ♥ I look forward to it always! Hehe, sorry about the long rambling response!

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Review #25, by Blue Biro 

5th June 2011:
heheh, AH-MAZ-ING chapter, pleaseleasepleaseplease update soon! ive favourited this story :) loved it!
p.s did i mention update?
becky x 1 million/10! you rock! :D

Author's Response: Bahah thanks! ^__^ I'mma try to update late-mid-June if I'm not busy. Hopefully! -phew- Lots of stuff going on.

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