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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DeeDeeVee 

18th May 2011:
You can contact me at ddvee3 [at] gmail [dot] com. Just send me an e-mail with your chapter document attached. It would also be helpful to let me know exactly what you'd like me to look out for. I'm assuming spelling and grammar, but if there are any other things you'd like feedback on as well (such as characterization, your choice of wording/phrasing, story line, canon questions, etc.) let me know. I can give you as little or as much feedback as you'd like.

While I should be able to turn the edits around in a few days, please give me up to a week- between my job and family, things can sometimes get a bit hectic.


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Review #2, by DeeDeeVee 

15th May 2011:
How you communicate with your beta and send chapters back and forth is pretty much up to the two of you. I write my chapters in MS Word and then e-mail each one to my beta once I am happy with it. She marks up the corrections and may make some suggestions and then e-mails the edited chapter back to me, usually within a week or so depending on the chapter length.

As for finding a beta, you can always start with a friend you trust and are comfortable with (that might be the easiest). My first beta was actually a good friend of mine who was into Harry Potter almost as much as I am. Many fan fiction sites have listings of people (usually authors themselves) willing to beta stories. I thought this one did, but I couldn't find the information. You can try the beta list over at Fanfiction dot net - look under betareaders. If you'd like, I can check over some of your chapters for you until you find an official beta. Just let me know.


PS- I just noticed that I used the incorrect spelling for canon (meaning the rules) vs cannon (the big gun) in my review. Looks like I need a beta for my reviews! :)

Author's Response: I would love it if you could be my temporary beta. How would you like me to send the chapters? I'll also ask my friend if he'll get on HPFF and be my beta. but for the time being thanks a million!

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Review #3, by DeeDeeVee 

11th May 2011:
You have an intriguing idea for a story here and a good start. I do agree with one of the other reviewers that the story seems somewhat rushed. You don't have to be overly wordy, but try to describe characters' feelings, emotions and reactions between some of the dialogue. I think people would react with much more shock and disbelief (not to mention faint dead away!) to see someone come back to life. What exactly was Harry thinking while anticipating the resurrection of his parents? Sure he was excited that he might finally get to see them, but perhaps he was also nervous about what they would think of the man he has become. Add more description of the characters' surroundings- a possible example might be a description of what the day was like when they went to the cemetery; maybe it was sunny and bright, possibly reflecting Harry's mood of anticipation and joy?

You should also consider asking someone (who is comfortable with grammar and Harry Potter cannon) to beta your chapters before you post them. They'll help you fix the grammatical mistakes you've made such as there vs their, the use of I vs me, capitalization of HP words like Apparate and Disapparate, etc. I use a beta for my stories (for The Power to Vanquish, I had two) and no matter how careful I try to be, my beta always finds silly mistakes that I've made. It's very hard to spot some errors in your own writing, or at least it is for me. Unfortunately, blatant grammatical errors completely detract from an otherwise good story.

Please don't consider my feedback harsh or mean because that is not how it is meant. We all have room for improvement in our writing and I think you definitely have potential. Keep going with the story.


Author's Response: Thanks, I know that I do mess up on some words, but i'm trying to improve. How exactly do you send your chapters to a beta? (just wright another review to answer my questions) also do you know of any one that i could use for a beta? I don't plan to quit the story and I don't consider your feedback harsh I like it when people do that so that they can help me improve. sorry I kindof turned this into TONS of questions for you.


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Review #4, by Opalpixiechick 

5th May 2011:
What aout Remus, Tonks and Sirius? Are you going to bring them back? I would love to read about them al interacting with thier kids. I love your story. You have a great idea here.

Author's Response: I'm not sure whether I'll bring them all back. I've been thinking about it. I probably will. That would be cool for them to see there kids. Thanks for reviewing!

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