17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Debra20 

5th February 2013:
Oh...my...dear...Merlin. Words fail me miserably at this point, or rather, the appropriate words that could hold testimony to how this chapter made me feel haven't been invented yet. And never will! I will try and explain my feelings but I think the words I WILL choose will not come even close to how I really felt.

I made some mental notes of how to structure, at least a bit, my review so I will follow these while I'll squeal between the lines. First off, did Lily say she wasn't brave enough in the last chapter? I think she was VERY brave considering she had the courage to go to the attic door, ask who was making thumping noises and descend the steps. Knowing myself, I would have been in fits of panic by the time I heard someone going up the stairs when I knew for a fact that moments ago my house had been empty! So yes Lily, you are a Potter and a Weasley!

Next off Moody. Oh my GOD MOODY! Seriously Susan, did you write this story to make me fall in love with him? Because you are very close, an inch close, to making that happen. If the story had stopped here, with only two chapters it would have been more than enough to flesh out a Moody that not even the books could. You gave him more depth in almost 3000 words than all the moments we have seen him during Goblet of Fire (although his presence in this book is questionable since it was actually Barty Crouch Jr but still) and Order of the Phoenix or Deathly Hallows.

My heart is aching for him. Like, literally HURT for him. I positively burst out crying when I read this "He reached for one of my hands. His was warm, roughened by the elements, as scarred as his face." and I couldn't stop until I had finished the chapter. Even I don't know the magical effect this sentence had on me but I couldn't resist the urge to cry out and send my heart to Moody. I have a soft spot for tragic characters and Mad-Eye always seemed like one to me. He was like an unwritten canvas in Harry Potter and you helped me shape more of his story, beyond his battle or detective prowess, beyond his immensely courageous guts. You gave light to those hardened eyes. You gave softness to his rigid countenance. You gave warmth to his toughened heart. I was startled by the fact that I remembered Fairfax Rochester from Jane Eyre when I read his physical description (and yes, I LOVED Mr Rochester as well!).

Oh man I'm not making sense any more. I always know that I'll find quality stories when I access your profile but this is beyond what I had expected. And don't say I'm exaggerating! Because I'm not. To me this chapter is downright ripped from some classic, yet undiscovered novel that is just waiting, somewhere on some dusted shelf to be picked up and loved to bits. I will make the "sacrifice" of loving it!

I haven't done the maths but how old is Lily here? Because she is coming off like one of the most mature characters I ever read on HPFF. How she handles the notion that she went back through time and found a War hero, as she herself says, waiting for her, almost breaking for her is a pleasure to read. A sad, sorrowful pleasure but a pleasure all the same.

I could gush about this story on and on and on but no amount of words will ever sum up the same amount of feelings that passed through me when I read it :)

Author's Response: Whoa, a long review! This chapter has certainly elicited an exciting response from you, and it's still early days for the story! *evil grin*

Lily is a great example of an unreliable narrator. :P Her injury had a detrimental effect on her confidence, and I also think that she constantly compares herself to her parents, only to see herself as coming up short. I'd be cowering in that chair all night if I heard any strange thumping noises! Now the question is whether Lily goes upstairs because she's genuinely curious, very bored, or somehow wants to prove herself. It could be either, or even better, a combination of the three.

It's only chapter two! How can you already be in love with him?! I didn't think my descriptions were that powerful, though I remember that, while writing, it was difficult to not feel something for him. There's so much emotion tied up in his character - every little action has multitudes of meaning, things that Lily can't even begin to understand until she experiences the past for herself. I'm squeeing over your compliments, though! It's wonderful to hear that just in this chapter, I fleshed out Moody's characters with such success. He's a strange cross between a Heathcliff and a Rochester, and while he has a clearer sense of morality, he still possesses that wildness and tragedy that defines the romantic hero.

You're making perfect sense! I can't get over how much you like his characterization. There's always a danger when one expands upon a canon character in this way of veering into OOCness, so it's actually a huge relief that you've had this kind emotional response to him in this story. That generation of Potterverse characters - the older Order members, that is - have their own tragic stories, but they're too often lost in the popularity of the Marauder-era and Hogwarts-era characters. What surprised me in the creation of this story was how much I went back to the books to pick up on as many details as I could. Some didn't make it into this story - for instance, the scene in OotP when Moody sees Harry (for the actual first time), his eye malfunctions. And I say that it's because he recognizes Harry and Lily's father, but he has to hide his knowledge of this, so he makes an excuse about Barty Crouch's contamination of the magical eye.

Lily's age is about 20-21. Later in the story she makes this clearer, but my guess is that she spent at least 2-3 years after Hogwarts as a Quidditch player. When the story begins, it's been less than a year since her accident. Part of the reason why she sounds so mature is that, when she narrates the story, she is older... and that's all I say about that. :P

Thank you again for your phenomenal review! It's so much fun to return to this story and discuss it with someone. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #2, by BellaCamille 

13th August 2012:
This story is incredibly well written. 10/10

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! ^_^ That's a fabulous compliment!

 Report Review

Review #3, by academica 

15th July 2012:
Hey! I'm back to catch up some more! (Sidebar - I'm excited for your new Regulus one-shot! Eeeep!)

I see now why Lily being disabled makes so much sense - she's got that in common with Moody. Both of them are broken in ways that others cannot imagine, and from this chapter, in ways that I sense that neither of them understand fully just yet.

This appears to be non-chronological - if I'm understanding correctly, this instance represents a unique travel for Lily, but Moody recognizes that she has come through before and is reminding her of the time into which she has passed in this journey, the time that marks the end of his time. It's so sad to imagine that, and I feel for Lily, trying to realize things a bit faster than she perhaps can, and simultaneously knowing and not knowing what to make of Moody here. You've definitely done a good job of drawing me in and making me feel tumbled along, just like Lily.

I'm interested to see where Lily will go from here, and to watch her relationship with Moody grow. I hope I'll have a chance soon to continue reading!


Author's Response: It's great to see that you're continuing with this story, Amanda, and even better that you're enjoying it! There is a lot to this story, and it's always interesting for me to follow readers through to see what they pick up and what surprises them. :D

The fact that both of them are "damaged" inside and out brings them together more easily. I don't think Lily could ever really connect with someone who was "whole" because she has too deeply internalized her injury - she would always find herself lacking, never equal. But with Moody, she finally finds someone like her, and it draws her closer to him.

When I first drew out the dates for each portion of this story, I had it moving in two directions at once - forward for Moody and backwards for Lily. It makes for a very difficult situation for Lily because, as she knows him more, he knows her less (this part was inspired by Doctor Who *is a nerd*), so at this point in the story, Moody knows everything, but he can't tell Lily without breaking the rules of time. It's very sad for both of them - for Moody because this is the last time he will see her and for Lily because, from this point onward, she will know how his story ends. It made for a turbulent and emotional story to write.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful to hear that you're interested in continuing on, and I look forward to hearing what you think of the rest. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #4, by Lillylover22 

12th May 2012:
This story sort of reminds me of the movie the time travellers wife. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: There are a couple of similarities, but I more had Doctor Who (River/Eleven) in mind. ;)

 Report Review

Review #5, by LilyFire 

28th February 2012:
Wow. It reminds me a lot of The Time-Travelers Wife, I don't know if you've read it? But I think it's still brilliant and I love it, and I shall read it all! Really though, it's amazing.

Author's Response: I have read it, and certain aspects of it are here in the random nature of her time travel (seemingly random, I mean) and the way that she meets him at different times of his life. It's funny because I didn't even think of that book while writing - I had more of Doctor Who in mind, - but once I found out, I changed a lot for the next few chapters. ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts about this story. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #6, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

4th February 2012:
Wow, very interesting. What I liked best here was the intimate relationship Alastor and Lily clearly had, yet she saw it as an outsider. You portrayed that very, very well, just in the way he treated her, though I could also see how at ease she was with him. They've also already got that connection with their two crippled legs, a good point. Have you by any chance read The Time Traveler's Wife? There too, a time traveler appears at different times in a girl's life, so that she knows him long before he knows her.

As with everything of yours that I've ever read, this was well written, flowing, very comfortable to read. You've combined a good idea and sympathetic characters nicely. You promised such a story in this one chapter, with Alastor's brevity, and if I wasn't hooked long ago this would have sealed the deal.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad that the relationship showed through even though Lily really didn't know what was going on - it was very one-sided, yet at the same time I had to tell it from Lily's point of view, so it was a challenge to get that intimacy across. That they're both crippled in much the same way also helps, at least on Lily's side, because finally she's come across someone like her, and that gives her a closer connection to him than she's had with anyone she knows since her accident.

I have read parts of the Time Traveller's Wife, and the idea is sort of similar - I more based this story's timeline off of the Eleven/River romance in Doctor Who, in which the characters live through each other's lives in reverse. It's a very interesting concept to explore.

*blushes* Thank you for those lovely compliments! It means a lot to hear them from you and that the story has hooked you in so effectively. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #7, by forsakenphoenix 

2nd February 2012:
I can only sort of guess what's going on - Lily appears to be more perceptive than I am - but I'm enjoying being taken along for the ride. I love how, at first, she believes that she's back where she first started, until she realizes that her dusty footprints are not where they are meant to be. When Moody knocks, it's interesting how you tied into that the storyline of PoA, where they're unaware of their past selves being in the presence of their present selves.

She has such a connection with Moody already, both of them with injuries that have caused them far more pain than they know what to do with it. Moody's fondness for her is evident and Lily's acceptance of what was going on reconfirmed my thoughts that this wasn't the first time they had met.

I'm really, really curious to see where you go from here but I need to get back to studying. :P I hope I've gotten you to your 80 reviews, and expect more from me as soon as I can. :)

Author's Response: Oh dear, Lily is a little too perceptive at times. *hides* It's the problem with writing in first person while already knowing what's going to come at the end - some of my knowledge is seeping through where it shouldn't be. I'll have to go back and perhaps change a couple of things so that the whole plot isn't given away too easily. ;)

That whole part of PoA remains clear in my mind when I'm writing these sticker time travel portions because it shows how time works within the Potterverse, how slippery it is, yet like in Doctor Who, it's important to keep past and future separate - not let the future change the past in a negative way, I mean. Harry and Hermione broke all of the rules that night, didn't they? XD Lily will too, though not quite in the same way.

Thank you again for taking the time out of studying to read and review this story, Missy! Your opinions are always valued (and always should be!) and I'm really glad to see that you've enjoyed the story so far. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #8, by justonemorefic 

13th January 2012:
Quite perceptive, Lily. Notices she's back in time already. I do love her initial impression of Moody. "I found myself in the presence of one who had, according to all reports, including that of my father, been long dead." I like this sense that Harry's told her much about the war. Her initial impression of his leg, gah that really struck me. Such a perfect description of emotion: I searched for a sign of a pain like my own, the understanding of what it meant to lack, to be inhibited, unwhole. What I found there instead was far less satisfying and far more terrifying, a degree of suffering that I hoped would forever remain beyond my grasp.

The conversation between them, I dont know how to describe it other than really satisfying. Lily asks the questions I want her to ask, and Moody's subtle responses with his strange softness that I assume is from her earlier visits in his life, all of it summed up in the words, Time is cruel. Love it.

Author's Response: Haha, yes, she does catch on pretty quick, without being bothered by it very much either. There are lots of... questionable aspects of this story, but they are all important to keep note of, just in case. ;) It's also very hard to surprise Lily - she's just not the shockable type, both from being a witch and from being Harry Potter's daughter. Her dad's done it all, so there's nothing to surprise her, nothing she could find outlandish. It adds to her reserve, though, because while she's curious, she doesn't find much of interest in the world around her.

Oops, now I'm dissecting my own character. It's handy, though, so thank you for the chance to think about her more! It will be very good for the new chapter. ^_^

Satisfying, eh? That's an interesting reaction to their conversation. There's a certain amount of closure to it. Even though it's Lily's first conversation with him, she can't set aside the fact that it is, for him, the last. It was a scene I liked writing, a way of testing the waters while scattering about clues. :P

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! Your reactions to different aspects of the chapters are wonderful to read. :D

 Report Review

Review #9, by ForgottenFace 

19th December 2011:
First of all, you must tell me where you got the stock for the CI =P I want those eyes!!

I was shocked when I saw Mad-Eye make an appearance. I should read the story summary and the character list xD

This chapter reminded me so much of the Doctor/River story arc. Will they meet at different times and out of order, as well? It felt like it's what's happening/going to happen. - Nevermind, just read the chapter summaries xD

I don't know if that's actually canon, but I remember when I read your entry to one of the HPFF site wide challenges, back in February (I think) that it was about Mad-Eye's mother and it was set in Cairo, or it was very connected to Cairo. I love that you have these little things that can connect your stories together. It gives them such much more depth. It's something I've always thought of doing with my own stories, though I don't have enough stories and am too much of a bad updater to do it just yet =P

Now you making Lily handicapped has another meaning. It's one thing they have in common, or one of the things =P

Since I think it's still the 19th where you live, this is still one of the birthday reviews ^_^ So, happy birthday again! xD

Next chapter...

Author's Response: Haha, that stock is addicting, so watch out! After getting it, I used it everywhere - but it does suit Mad-Eye really well, so it helps when making the chapter images/graphics for this the story. ;)

The Doctor/River story really inspired my plot for this, a key of sorts for how to navigate a "backwards" relationship that's spread across time. I strangely wrote this chapter before Series 6 began, so it was the weirdest thing to see exactly how that ship unfolded, and of course, you can see the influence of Series 6 on later chapters of this story.

That one-shot from the Writer's Duel and this one are connected - the same Moody with the same history (he's also the same in "This Longing" and his mother's the lead character of "Black Sands"). It's just something that saves me time when developing characters and backstories - I only really change characterizations when I either want to do something different with a character or when the plot wouldn't suit that particular characterization. Like you said, it does help with depth because it's something I've been able to explore in a previous story, and so there's less flailing around and more getting to the point. :D I'm glad that you caught that and like it - I'm always worried that it'll be confusing to readers.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing, Becca! It's been great to hear from you about this story! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #10, by magicmuggle01 

1st October 2011:
Nice. I wonder what the reason and purpose of Lily going back in time is. I'll read on later and maybe find out then. 10/10.

Author's Response: Thank you! You'll see what the reason is much, much later. ;)

 Report Review

Review #11, by Phoenix_Flames 

20th June 2011:

Holy cow. Susan, you have me just as confused as I am amazed, and I love it. I really have no idea what is going in here and no guesses. I am fascinated at what you have set up here. I really don't know what is going on. I think the use of Moody for communication is brilliant.

This is pure genius, and I cant wait to figure out just what is going on here.

Love it!

Author's Response: lol, confusion is not only inevitable, but a very good thing with this story. It's the first one where I can be confusing without any guilt or worry on my part. :P

The way that I've thought of it is this: Lily is thrown into the end (or nearly the end) of a very long story, one where she is the central heroine, but she has no, or very little, knowledge of what came before. It's reverse chronology in a slightly different, and way more evil, way. ;)

Thanks again for the review! It's great to hear that you're enjoying this story. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #12, by MajiKat 

12th April 2011:
oh my god susan!

this is incredible. i love love love the narrative - i love lily's voice, i adore Moody, and the complexity of this. talk about foreshadowing. so many questions! you do that so well - set up questions for both the reader and the protagonist. i have just as many things i want answered as Lily at the moment!

i had this beautiful, tragically gothic romance image in my head of the two of them, both maimed and scarred in different but similar ways, sharing this little slice of time and space. i don't think you could have chosen a better character than Moody for this story - he is tortured and tragic and what a backstory you could create for him!

gah! i could gush forever but i better go - i think the little person is breaking something in the other room!

Kate xx

eagerly awaiting more and i will get my reviews for WTA and Partners done soon!!

Author's Response: *gasps*


Really? O_O I don't know what to say to this love and adoration. It's an insane story, but now that I've gotten into writing it, I've found that it's the kind of story that I've wanted to write for a long time - the Gothc romance that tugs at heartstrings and fills one with dreadful suspense. The foreshadowing is one of the highlights of writing this - usually I can't pull off keeping track of so many clues, but for some reason in this story it's working. And Moody! Geez, I never thought he could be so devastatingly romantic. He's definitely hiding something under that gruff exterior in the books. :P

Oh dear, breaking something? Better go and rescue it from those little hands. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I really appreciate hearing from you, Kate! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #13, by Lil lily71 

12th April 2011:
Susan I have no idea how you do it. I wanted to read something good and I was planning to read chapter one of this story again and what do you know chapter two was up. I love the way this story is very enigmatic. I cannot wait to here more about Lily's previous visits and more about Moody's background. Beautifully written as always.



Author's Response: Oooh, thank you Lore! *glomps* It's very kind of you to say that because, to be honest, I don't know how I do it either. This story hit me out of nowhere as an OF idea, and while I still prefer it as an OF, this fanfiction version is taking on a life of its own - it's far more romantic and full of feeling than I expected, especially with Moody as the romantic lead.

I'm glad that you like how enigmatic it is - that's one of the reasons why I love writing it so much. Even though I have it all planned out, the putting together of the clues is wonderfully complex, and I'm always on the watch to make sure that I don't give it all away. ;) So you never know what could be the "right" guess for what's actually going on.

It means a lot that you're enjoying this story. Thank you so much! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #14, by Snapdragons 

11th April 2011:
Gloriously, I can say that I think I'm beginning to change my mind about time travel stories!

Your language is really beautiful. I love the way that you write: lovely descriptions in not only adjectives, but verbs too. I can feel myself sitting there by the fire with Moody and Lily. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it's lovely - so keep doing it! :)

This chapter was confusing, but not overly. Mysterious, I think, is the word I'm going for here. It seems as though Moody's met Lily multiple times before, so I'm hoping that a) that's true and b) if so, we get to see those previous times again soon!

I loved the line "The rest of his story, I already knew. There was only one direction I could go from here. Back." It's interesting because Lily already knows how Moody's story ends - but she doesn't really know the beginning, and that's what I'd like to learn about.

I'm surprisingly liking the idea of time travel. Perhaps I just needed to wait until the right fic to discover its potential! It reminds me of Doctor Who very vaguely - only because of the whole time traveler thing.

Lovely chapter - and I'm hooked! :)

Author's Response: Yay! Well, to be honest, I'm only glad to be changing your mind about time travel stories because I'm writing one. :P I still find it a challenge to write this kind of story, especially with verb tenses (of all things!) because I'm never sure how I should be writing about the future in comparison with the past, especially for Lily, who is going backwards in time. Sometimes I really confuse myself writing this story. XD

It's fantastic to hear that you're enjoying this story and its language. It's rather Victorian in its style, but I don't want to overdo it either, keeping around the 3000 word mark for each chapter. This gets hard in trying to make everything make sense, though. :P I'm going heavy on the mystery side of things, as Lily is slowly piecing together the story herself - it was one of the benefits of going with first person narration for this story: readers can only know what Lily knows, but I suppose they can guess at what Moody knows, all the same. ;)

Doctor Who is a huge influence for this story, especially the whole River Song storyline - meeting in the wrong order through time. I watch so much of that show that it's inevitable not to think about it when writing a time travel story.

Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate hearing your comments. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #15, by Tina 

11th April 2011:
This story is lovely. Just- wow.

I love your writing style in general, but this story in particular is great. I was hooked as soon as I read the first chapter, and I'm glad you put this one up so quickly.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the story- this is one of my favorites now!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! Those are wonderful compliments, and I really appreciate that you took the time to read and review this story. It means so much to hear from you! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #16, by SunSation Gal 07 

11th April 2011:
Wow. Epic second chapter Susan. And we now meet Moody, who is soon going to die. That mad the reading of this chapter quite sad after we got the date and realized that he would soon be dead. And the fact that he knew her and seemed to care a lot for her made me all the more eager for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Jeanie! It's fantastic that you liked this chapter! ^_^

It's a strange story in that the readers (and Lily) have to slowly unravel the past, so Lily starts at the end - his death - without knowing what came before, outside of history, of course. It's like reading a book backwards, I guess. XD

 Report Review

Review #17, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

11th April 2011:
I love how you ended this chapter! And I'm curious as to why Moody keeps staring at her! I'm sure I'll find out :D


Author's Response: Thank you very much! I was very much unsure of the ending and tried a few different options before settling on this one, so it's great that you liked how it turned out. :D

As for the Moody thing... you'll see. :P

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review