29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Debra20 

4th February 2013:
Hey Susan! I'm here from the Review Tag :)

This is a very intriguing start of a story I must admit to that. Not only intriguing but also enthralling. There is something about the simplicity of the prose and the way you portrayed Lily that is simply captivating.

I must confess that I am not the most avid reader of Next Generation. I don't know why but it hasn't been the Era of my choice when reading stories. However, your curiosity peeking summary and the characters listed (points at Moody excitedly!) have made me click your story. And I'm so glad I did. It was an amazing start to a time travel story. Vanishing cabinets are not often the preferred method when trying to write a story of this kind and I don't know why. Without enough imagination and a touch of fantasy-like twist it can go many ways, as shown above :D

I appreciated your characterization of Lily (II) very much. In most stories I looked over, authors tend to add her to the Squib category and while that is a great spin, it gets tiresome after a while. I love the natural feeling I got from her. The little we know about Next gen characters doesn't always provide authors with enough material to base their characterization off and the attempt sometime ends with overly-exaggerating some traits or flaws or they just don't seem human enough.

I LOVED Lily's state of mind. I didn't expect to see a first story person written story, but now I don't think it could have been any other way. Her boredom towards her current living conditions were a very clever foreshadowing for the events she was about to live. Can't wait to see what they are (I must once again take this opportunity and swoon over Moody...*swoon*...there, now that that's out of the way...).

Thanks for providing a better morning than I had until now Susan. It's almost 5 AM here and I've been awake since 4:30 AM reading your story and leaving this review which has made my insomnia a lot more pleasurable than it would have been otherwise :)

Author's Response: Wow! It means a lot to hear how much you like the style of this story. I've edited it a bit, but there's something in Lily's voice that is unlike what I've written before - there is this ethereal, even spectral quality about her narration. Much of it at the time had to do with all of the Victorian literature I was reading, but quite a bit has to do with her personality, and the way that she recalls the details of her story.

What's strange about this story in comparison to most others, both on the archive and my author page, is that it resists the traditional classifications. It's about a next-generation character, but it's also distanced from that era. A romance plays a central role in the plot, but I have trouble seeing Lily and Alastor as a "ship" - it could have just as easily been Roxanne and Sirius, Rose and Elphias Doge, Victoire and Caradoc Dearborn. But I am really glad to hear that you were excited to see Moody in the cast list - he's a fantastic character to write, and I enjoy adding depth to Rowling's sketch. :D

One of the reasons that I chose Lily for this was to escape the negative characterization I'd given her in "Winner Takes All". But she became much more in this story than I ever anticipated. There's not much more I want to say about her here, due to spoilers, of course. There's a lot of potential for each of the next-gen characters, and I love being able to interpret them in various ways. The Lily here feels like a big disappointment - I can only imagine that the world had high expectations for each of the Potter children - and it increases her frustration and bitterness. At the same time, she's always been the odd one - slightly distant, not dreamy, but quiet. She's a lot like her father when he's in his pensive moods.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reviewing this story! I look forward to following your reactions to each chapter! ^_^

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Review #2, by Courtney Dark 

24th December 2012:
I've got to say, I adored this first chapter! Your use of imagery was so perfect and gave this chapter an almost eerie sort of feel. I could almost picture the cottage in my mind.

I love that this first chapter has me asking questions already. The whole vibe of it is so mysterious, which is awesome! I'm already wondering what's going to happen to Lily and where she is going to end up.

Your portrayal of Lily is really good. Though we don't know much about her yet, I can see that she is going to be a very interesting and unusual character-different from the other portayals of Lily that I have read. I already feel bad for what happened to her with the whole Quidditch accident!

The whole idea of this story intriguing and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! It's fantastic to hear that you've enjoyed the first chapter (I've always worried that it was the weakest), especially that it was so vivid and effectively set the scene for the story. :D

Lily is definitely different from other portrayals, at least those that I've seen. In one of my other stories, I made her the villain (of a sort), so I challenged myself to instead show her in the opposite way - it's one of the great things that we can do with the next-gen characters. :)

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Review #3, by Illuminate 

1st September 2012:
Hi! Tag!

I feel a little ashamed that I've never read any of your fics before -- you're kind of famous on HPFF xD Most of your fics have won some awards. And rightly so!

This is a hugely effective opening chapter. Through the style of your prose you effortlessly illustrate Lily's character, and the setting is a great extension of that.

I've always been intrigued by time travel stories, though I've never read one that seemed to really pull it off. I wonder what will happen next! Will Lily's foot be healed? Where/when will she go? Who will she meet, and what will she effect? It's all very interesting!

Great job! :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! Usually people only do shorter stories for the tag, so it was a great surprise to see you'd reviewed this one - it's my favourite story of the ones I've written, which makes any feedback more worthwhile. ^_^

Don't be ashamed! There are too many authors to keep up with - I just have the benefit of having been here longer than most. "Famous" is quite a word to hear, though - definitely an ego boost. :D

I'm glad that you've liked the first chapter! Time travel is tricky to make work, but I can assure you that it plays a rather different role in this story. ;) Enjoy the rest!

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Review #4, by BellaCamille 

13th August 2012:
This is such a wonderful story! I love the way you start it. It's very mysterious, though not overdone. And very well written. I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm really glad that you've liked the first chapter - it's always important to leave a strong impression right from the beginning. ^_^

I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story too!

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Review #5, by Yoshi_Kitten 

13th June 2012:
Hello there, my name is Deana (aka: RoxiMalfoy from the forums) it is so nice to finally "meet" you, lol! :p Susan, isn't it? I tagged you in the "Review the Person Above you" game about a week or so ago, but then RL got crazy and I never had time to come back here and review until just now. I am SO very sorry that it took me so to get here hun, hopefully you didn't think that I had forgotten about ya tho... Anyhow, I will try to make this review well worth the wait, haha!! ^_^'

Starting with: OMGosh, how have I NOT read or even heard about this story before now?!? I mean, I know I was gone from HPFF for the majority of last year, but dang! This is already an amazing story, right from the start, It's no wonder you've won so many awards and gotten so much recognition for it!! I must be honest, I have been a secret admirer of your artwork over at TDA since I first started making graphics of my own back in Dec. of 2010, but I have never once even been to your author page before now. I've heard about your writing, of course, but I've just never had the time to come by here and check it out. And I've been on here for going on 3 years now, so I guess that it's about time, lol!! XD

Getting into the more technical aspects of this review now, I have to say that the way you described everything was simply astounding! It actually felt like I was right there in the room with Lucy, seeing everything that she seen. I especially loved the description in the sunset part, that scene was probably my most favorite. I also really liked how you described the pain she was feeling from her injury. My leg even started tingling a bit while I was reading it, that's how good it was! It made me feel so bad for her, poor Lucy. I wanna know more about it tho, like how she hurt it, and when she hurt it, and if it'll ever be fully healed again... As far as everything else goes, there was not one grammatical or spelling error at all, at least not that I could find anyway. Which honestly comes as no surprise, considering how awesome you are, lol! :p

Everything about this beginning chapter boasts of originality. It's not too often you come across a Next-Gen where the story takes off in Neville's household, or even mentions him and Hannah at all. And I like the fact that is is Lucy-centered, rather than James or Al. Half the time it seems like people forget that Harry & Ginny had a daughter as well cuz Lucy is always thrown into the background. So kudos to you for choosing her as your MC and giving her some much needed love!

And clearly this story is a time-travel tale, but I really like the idea that you are not taking the predictable approach and using a Time-Turner. It is very original and it completely surprised me. I never considered vanishing cabinets to even have that power before now. But now that I think about it, it's totally plausible and it makes me all the more excited to read more and see how this all pans out for her! Am I right tho in assuming that the Vanishing Cabinet there at the end is in fact what is going to take her back in time then? I guess I will just have to read on and find out for myself, haha!! ;)

Oh, and speaking of the Vanishing Cabinet, that just reminded me of another thing. I love, love, LOVED the Narnia reference in here, lol!
"It reminded me of those books Aunt Hermione had leant me once, the kind of wardrobe that one could walk through to another world. It was a silly idea, really, probably based on a faulty vanishing cabinet that whisked one off to Merlin-knew-where."
That quote there was pure genius!!! From a magical world standpoint, I could easily see that as being in cannon. In fact, it reminded me a lot of Ron calling "Cinderella" an illness in the books. I don't know why, but there you go, lol!! VERY well done. :)

It's not just that one quote that stood out to me tho, there was way more. Your attention to ALL of the seemingly small details was amazing! Like, for instance, the way that she caught herself nodding at the phone, the way that you described the labels as being too old to really read, and the description of the jewelry box was super great as well. I was very intrigued by the ring. I feel like the first words may have been "you must" and then something about the "future" perhaps... Gah! Idk what it all means. Must. Keep. Reading. Haha!!! I have already added you and this story to my favorites, so expect to be hearing from me again later. I cannot wait to see how this all unfolds. Great, great work Susan, really!! You are truly a fabulous writer!! =D


Author's Response: Wow! I haven't known how to respond to this review, and I'm sorry for taking so long with it, Deana. You've given a huge review for the first chapter alone! I've never gotten so much back from a review tag before, and I'm still stunned to see it - it's often easier to expect little, but when you get something big instead, it's just amazing, worth far more than the wait. Thank you so much!

This story has been flying beneath the radar - it's like a critically acclaimed movie that no one has seen. :P I'm glad that you've liked it, though, more than liked it, even. That scene when Lily watches the sunset is one of my favourites too - I just love the vision of it, how there's all that beauty in the world and she can't get herself to enjoy it. She tries, but her disappointment keeps getting in the way. That scene really helped me better understand her, or to at least know what kind of character I was dealing with. I put her together so fast initially that her development over the period of the story occurs as I slowly figured her out. It was a "oh need female character", "why not Lily?", "okay, let's go" kind of situation. XD

It ended up being more fun to use a vanishing cabinet. They're so... handy, at least within the context of this story. Unlike a timeturner, it's more set in place and would more likely be owned by a single family than passed among multiple people. It made the plot work out a lot more logically. It's also a very haunting piece of furniture - big cabinets/wardrobes like that have this menacing quality to them, probably because of their height, so it looms over Lily like this monstrous villain, forcing her through time whether she wants to go or not.

Thank you very much for the compliments! I don't know what else to say in response to them. It's wonderful that you've enjoyed the first chapter, and I really hope that you enjoy the rest of the story too. ^_^

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Review #6, by academica 

25th May 2012:
Hey Susan! I've been meaning to come by and check this out for a while, so you know I'm taking my chance now that summer has arrived at last ♥

This is so interesting already! I'm hooked by so many things, not only the ending but the little details about Lily and her family that I'm just starting to find out about. I'm intrigued by Lily's injury, and I'm looking forward to learning more about how she received it and just how much it complicates her life. I'm also really pleased to read a story about the Potter children with no mention of the Weasleys, aside from Aunt Hermione. Too often I read next-gen pieces that give me the impression that the Potters and Weasleys cannot be separated in the minds of many authors, so this is so refreshing. It's also nice to see the focus switched onto Neville and Hannah, even just as far as using them to set the background of the story.

As always, your imagery is beautiful, and the chapter flowed without much effort for me. I'm really intrigued by the ring and its inscription, and I have my ideas about what it means, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see what befalls Lily next. I felt like this chapter was perfect in terms of length, too, seeing as it held my interest and left me wanting more without flooding me with details. It can be hard to get that initial chapter right, and Susan, you've done it! Pat yourself on the back!

Nicely done :)

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: This is a great surprise! Thank you very much for coming to check out this story - I really hope that you enjoy reading it and look forward to hearing what you think. ^_^

At first, not including the Weasleys was a matter of convenience because I didn't want a large cast of characters getting in the way. I did think about using Rose at some point, but then I replaced her because it's nice, for once, to not include all of those cousins. Even Lily's brothers don't appear in this story, emphasizing her isolation from the world. She sees only the older generation, those with access to that mysterious past. I'd never thought of my cast choices in this way before, but now I'm intrigued by what it signifies for Lily. She's divided from her siblings and cousins - her physical disability marks her as different, and so she even changes her hair colour to further that difference. And I wonder whether being one of the youngest cousins also made her want to differentiate herself more so that she would have more of an individual identity. I've got to think this idea through a bit more, but it's an interesting thing to note and I'm glad that you brought it up. :)

There was a time when I thought that this first chapter would need some neatening up because it was my own introduction to the story and the character, so there was some... rooting around (is that the right way of describing it?) for the right style, etc. But a later chapter changed my mind. ;) It's great that you like this first chapter and it helps make me feel more confident about it, too!

Thank you very much for your compliments! *blushes* It means a lot to hear that you like my writing. ^_^

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Review #7, by Lillylover22 

12th May 2012:
This was a fantastic start. I saw this was a featured story in the hufflepuff common room on the forums. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: It's great that you've taken the time to come try out this story! I hope that you enjoy the rest! :D

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Review #8, by WeepingWillows 

29th March 2012:
I really enjoyed this first chapter! :) Using the idea of the vanishing cabinet was a brilliant idea and I loved Lily's reaction to the note. Sometimes using the timeturner can be such a cliche idea and this idea was just so fresh and original!

I can't wait to see what the future chapters has in stored for us :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you've liked the first chapter, and I hope that the rest is just as enjoyable (ideally, more so :P).

I wish that I could take credit for the vanishing cabinet idea, but it's been exciting to explore different ways of making time travel work in the Potterverse. :D

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Review #9, by LilyFire 

28th February 2012:
The beginning of this story is amazing. I just want to keep reading and reading and reading...you've got a great start. I'm not quite sure what it's about, since I don't like to spoil stories for myself, but it seems like it's going to be wonderful.

I love Lily so much-her voice is very real, and the story is too (well, you know what I mean). If this were a physical book, I wouldn't be able to put it down.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for trying out this story! I'm glad to hear that you've liked the first chapter and want to keep going - there's really no finer compliment to receive for a story. ^_^

I think I know what you mean about the real-ness of the story, and it means a lot that you find the narration and story real in that way. :D Thank you!

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Review #10, by lia_2390 

18th February 2012:
I'll tell you right now. I don't have a bad thing to say about any of this - at all. It's the type of writing that makes me sit back, and wonder why on earth you aren't published.

I tend to avoid certain eras simply because I find that the plot has already been written, but by another hand. Next Gen is one of those eras. But I do admire writers who go beyond the teenage scope, and play with out-of-the-box scenarios. This story of yours is no exception.

There's something about your writing that always makes everything seem so simple. Your use of description, not at all overdone, drew me in from the start. It was quite stunning. Then there's the introduction of your main character who I think I'm beginning to like very much. She's not like the Lily Potter's we've all read about elsewhere - as the youngest of the Potter clan, you've made her a little less immortal, if that makes sense. People tend to put these characters up on some sort of pedestal.

She's damaged, and I think the entire tone of this first chapter shows that. It's not something I can explain, but it most definitely is what drew me in.

The allure of exploring an empty house is strong, added to the plants who clearly have minds of their own. You've hit the ground running with your plot too. You've given the readers some insight into your character, and how she's viewed by others without giving away too much. It was very smooth too. Then there are the subtle hints that I suspect will show up later - for instance the inscription on that ring.

I really enjoyed reading this, the writing overall was fantastic. See, I told you I had nothing bad to say about it;)

I loved the Chronicles of Narnia reference, by the way :)


Author's Response: This is fabulous! Gosh, I've read this a few times and still been stunned into speechlessness by your review. Thank you for these wonderfully inspiring words - they really mean a lot to hear!

This version of Lily I meant to be entirely the opposite of the previous Lily I'd written - the spoiled, overtly-feminine daughter of very powerful parents - so that I could be more fair toward her character. The fame of her parents wouldn't necessarily have to corrupt her, but she could instead take on their humility and thoughtfulness, Harry's selflessness combined with Ginny's loyalty and love. She's developed a lot since this first chapter, but I'm glad that her character was strong from the beginning, someone readers could feel a connection with.

This is definitely a story filled with clues - nearly all of the details literally come back to haunt Lily, each part of a larger puzzle she has to solve. It poses a challenge to keep up with all of the clues I've added, but it makes writing the story extremely interesting. :D

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! I really appreciate it! ^_^

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Review #11, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

3rd February 2012:
For me, this had everything a first chapter should have. An interesting character, one I can sympathize with, as well as a bit of a conflict that hints of adventures to come. Your style is engaging, and provided just enough detail for the reader to get submerged in it. On top of it all, you have what looks like quite an original idea. I enjoyed it immensely.

From just a couple thousand words, I can see into Lily's relationship with her mother, her despair at a childhood long gone, how she stands compared to her brothers. The message she found in the vanishing cabinet, "You will find what you seek inside," was particularly enchanting. The prospect of diving (or I suppose collapsing, in Lily's case) into another world with the promise of finding what you're looking for is so incredibly appealing. Especially if you don't have a solid idea of what you're looking for. I'm interested to see what Lily seeks; this promises a wonderful story.

Author's Response: Oh wow, even after some time has passed, this review still gets me feeling all squeeful and bubbly - it's such a wonderful review, all of the ones you've left are, and I don't know how to thank you enough. :)

First chapters are a challenge, aren't they? Though I'm glad I hit the spot with this one - the story was very much an experiment at first and I wasn't at all sure how it would turn out. The plan was for something much smaller, but it's long out of my control now. I worried that, because of the later change in plan, this chapter would sound restrained and I planned on editing for language and style a bit. I still might, but it takes a load off my shoulders to hear that it's a successful introductory chapter with all its details and clues of what's to come. Lily is a fascinating character to write, and I'm glad to hear that readers are finding the same of reading her. Thank you! :D

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Review #12, by forsakenphoenix 

2nd February 2012:
So I've heard a lot of good things about this story and me, being me, of course it took me AGES to finally come and see what all the hype was about.

With the first chapter, you've already drawn me into this story, especially with your characterizations of Lily. I liked the commentary on why the plants perhaps liked her best. It certainly added to my perception of her. It's interesting to see her so bitter, so isolated, such a stark contrast to her brothers, but I think it will work well for the purposes of your plot.

Your descriptions, as always, are fantastic. Very vivid, despite the sense of dreariness that I felt. Everything just seemed so drab, except for the sunset - that was beautiful.

I really like the idea of using a vanishing closet - it keeps things new and unique rather than the same old timeturner storylines. I can't promise reviews will come swiftly, or on any sort of schedule, but I will try my best to continue to read this story and leave reviews when I can. :)

I'm sorry this isn't very long but I don't know what else to say except how much I love it already and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Seeing you reviewing this story has me flailing, so I'm sorry if this response transforms into a massive squee-fest. It's like being a newbie again, though we've come a long way from that point, that's for sure. It means a lot to have you commenting on this story, though - it's my favoured creation at the moment. ^_^

I read somewhere that one of the best ways of understanding someone's personality was to see how animals reacted to them - in this case, I've used magical plants. They must like her for a reason, and it opens the door for making Lily more approachable? or sympathetic, something like that. Making her so bitter seemed the best way of entirely isolating herself from others, her friends and family especially - it adds a bit to the whole Gothic atmosphere, but it also makes her a lot more like Harry, I think. She sees her isolating as a way of saving others from the pain of seeing her as she has become. It's really silly of her, but that's one of her flaws.

It's so awesome that you've enjoyed this first chapter - thank you so much for reading and reviewing it! ^_^

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Review #13, by justonemorefic 

13th January 2012:
Sorry if these are short; I only know how to express my love in giant bold caps, which are unfortunately not appropriate for every occasion, so I have to settle for some drab 'I really really like this and um, I reeeaaallly like this!'

WHICH, incidentally, I do :D A downtrodden, bitter Lily - love her already. You set the scene up so well, setting and mood - dreary, dusty, a bit claustrophobic. It's so hard to set up a setting like that without being boring sometimes.

I already know a bit of what to expect, and I shant delay it anymore! Onwards~

Author's Response: Giant bold caps are always relevant! Could I use them to express how ABSOLUTELY AMAZING it is to see you enjoying this story so much? Because I'm more than happy to. ^_^ Seeing these reviews was fabulous and I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing!

It was awkward to write this first chapter both because of the character and the setting. The problem with Lily wasn't my previous characterization of her so much as how strange this characterization is - she loves being alone, loves silence, loves darkness. she probably loves claustrophobia too. *shudders* She's appropriately Moody for this story. :P

Bad puns aside, I'm glad that the descriptions of the setting works. I really wanted to get across her isolation from the world - this cottage is seeped in history and when she's the only one there, it's as though time has stopped, the world continuing on around her.

Thanks again! I hope that you enjoy the rest of this story. ^_^

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Review #14, by ForgottenFace 

19th December 2011:

Well, since you asked on the forums for some birthday reviews, I decided that I should start with this story. After all it's the one I made the banner for and I'm ashamed that I haven't read it yet. The reviews for the other stories I'm currently reading will come in time, though =)

I don't really know where to start with this. Maybe I should start by saying that I love the way you write, but you already know that xD There is only one thing, isn't Flora the term for plants? I think Fauna is for animals and Flora for plants.

I'm liking Lily's characterization so far. I don't read many fanfics with Lily as a main character (I'm writing one, though) so I don't know how different your Lily is from the other Lilys ou there. But she looks like a solid character.

One thing I have to say - she is brave. xD If I was alone in a cottage, at night and heard a sound coming from the attick, I would stay as far away from it as I could.

Can't wait to see where she'll end up =P This reminds me of the Chronicles of Narnia for some reason.

Next chapter...

PS: I'm spreading these reviews throughout the week, so they are not only for your birthay, but also for Christmas =D

Happy birthday again and happy Holidays.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this, Becca! It's not only wonderful to receive reviews from you, but to have these birthday presents for my favourite story makes them that much more appreciated. It means a lot to hear your opinions. ^_^

Flora is the one I meant to use. *hides* I've fixed that now.

Lily's definitely brave, like both her parents, but with a foolhardiness that comes of being her father's daughter. I find that the more I write of her, the more she becomes like Harry, with his odd impulsive courage and desire to "save" others at risk to himself. So when Lily hears a sound, she's going to be silly and go and see what's up. *rolls eyes* I'm with you - I'd be hiding under a blanket in the corner of a sofa.

It's a little like Narnia with the whole cabinet thing - I didn't think of that until after, but the travel through time instead of into a different world helps keep them different enough. *crosses fingers*

Anyway, thank you again! And I hope that you had a great holiday, too! :D

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Review #15, by EvannaBlackthorn 

2nd December 2011:
Awesome chapter. Love the descriptions and the air of suspense and mystery. Can't wait to read more ! :D

Author's Response: Thank you! It's fantastic to hear that you've enjoyed the first chapter, and I hope that the rest of the story is just as good a read. :D

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Review #16, by CloakAuror9 

23rd October 2011:
{I would just like to say, that I am truly honoured and thrilled to review this story for you. I mean you're Violet Gryffindor! One of the best graphic makers TDA has ever seen!}

Okay on with the review. Time travel? I don't like them. They get confusing as the story goes on.

But for some reason, I really got giddy after reading your one. Sure the plot wasn't as original as I hoped it would be but I think that this story will be great.

Hannah and Neville? I don't ship them but I appreciate it when stories use them as a pairing, it makes the story more realistic. You've also managed to give Lily Potter a different characteristic.

I really liked you for making Lily and the whole story a whole lot different to the majority.

I loved the story!
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: I'm sorry that you don't like time travel - I should have checked first before requesting for this story, but I wasn't thinking about anything more than getting opinions. But how is the plot not original - it would help if you were more specific about that so that I could fix it in future chapters. Is it just the time travel aspect, or something else that's wrong?

Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad that you liked how Lily was portrayed - it was new for me, as well as from what I'd seen in a few other stories about her, so it's great to know that she worked out. :)

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Review #17, by magicmuggle01 

1st October 2011:
I do like a good time travel story and this sounds very promising so far. A great start and 10/10. Now I must move on and read more.

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope that you do enjoy the rest of this story! ^_^

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Review #18, by Toujours Padfoot 

28th August 2011:
I saw this story in intense circulation at tgs, in the nomination threads, and got very curious.

I'm so glad that I picked it up. I can already tell that this is going to be fantastic - it's one of those stories that's more than a story. It's not being told to us, it feels like we as the readers are actually there. I love opportunities to go on journeys without so much as putting my shoes on.

I'm very much looking forward to seeing what happens to Lily.

The only thing I caught, which you may have done intentionally for all I know - is the bit about Aunt Susan. Neville married Hannah Abbott. Maybe it's AU? Anyway, feel free to ignore. :)

Definitely 10/10

Author's Response: It's rather scary how much this story circulated in those threads. Very unexpected, as this is a very strange story - or is obscure a better word? They're very kind at TGS, though, and it's lovely of them. ^_^

It's fantastic to hear that you've enjoyed this story so far, and I hope that you continue to do so! It's a great story to write, as I'm not used to being quite so romantic (as I get in later chapters) and the characters are wonderful to explore in a plot like this. It means a lot that you like the style, especially the "showing" aspects. ^_^

And thank you for pointing out that error! Looks like you've caught me being whimsical in believing that someone with my own name could have Neville. :P But I've changed it to Hannah, as I do mean for this story to be canon, even with the crazy plotline!

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Review #19, by maskedmuggle 

11th August 2011:
Woah! Well, I loved the building up to the climax of the chapter! It started off peaceful and slow, and gradually more action happened. I loved how you didn't immediately state what was happening and where, but rather, relied on the amazing descriptions and Lily's thoughts for me/the reader to slowly figure out what was happening.

The plot of this is so original already, so far! Even though you say it's a time travel story, I'm really fascinated to find out how you're going to write this. I loved all the plants, how Neville was away on a honeymoon, and how Lily's done something to her foot - a very interesting characteristic of Lily, considering nobody hardly ever makes one of the Potter-Weasley kids handicapped. Flaws are quite hard to create, apart from anger and stubbornness, and I admire you for making Lily different.

The inscribing on the ring makes me so curious! You stay in the future? Haha. I just loved Lily's thoughts throughout this chapter. The ending left me wanting more, so I'm definitely on to the second chapter soon! Just amazing writing! An exceedingly well written first chapter so far!

By the way, a trend I've noticed, and I don't know if you have: many staff/fantastic TDA artists happen to be fantastic writers as well. Life. is not fair. You're very talented! Great chapter!

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! It's lovely that you chose one of my stories to review for the House Cup, and it's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter! :D

Letting the reader catch onto what's going on is something I love to do, mostly because I love it when writers do it to me - it's more fun to put the puzzle together than get fed everything right away; it makes character development more interesting and intricate to slowly reveal things. And Lily is the perfect character for this because there's so much that she doesn't reveal right away, and other things that she'll never reveal at all. Her injury has made her draw into herself, and it'll take a lot to draw her back out again. ;)

I hope that, if you do end up continuing to read this, you enjoy what you find - the time travel plot gets complicated (even for me!) and I keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't confuse people too much. XD Thanks again!

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Review #20, by Celestie 

27th July 2011:
Wow, this was just lovely! I've been meaning to read it for ages now, and it was certainly worth the read!

I love Lily's bitterness and realism; it adds another edge to this story and makes it all the more fascinating. And of course, I'm awaiting Moody's entry. The idea that she falls through various years rather than just landing in one and living in it is so original. As always, your effortless writing style is sophisticated without ever coming off as intrusive or overdone.

And your banner and chapter image are just stunning! Onwards to the next chapter I go! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Celestie! It's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed reading this! ^_^

It was interesting to write Lily in a different sort of way, both from how I'd written her before and from what I'd seen in other people's stories. I guess I'm too fascinated with the idea of failure or at least a lack of success among the next-generation. ;) It's great that you like the idea of falling back through various times - it came to me one day, and I just had to explore it. I'm hoping that it'll set this apart from other time travel romances because of the effect it has on the plot. :)

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Review #21, by Weasleynumber8 

9th July 2011:
This is so good! I can't wait to get to the new chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)

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Review #22, by Phoenix_Flames 

20th June 2011:
Susan! So, I will admit that I did the pairings, but I'm so happy it worked out this way. I get to read this wonderful story! And I love what you have set up here.

You have developed Lily's character well with this opening chapter and have really shown her personality with the little descriptions here and there. It's the things like the "diabolical plants" and such that make me love Lily and you even more. You're such an amazing author and I am so excited for this story.

It really was quite unique to use a vanishing cabinet, something I have never crossed before and something that I will have to congratulate Ty with. It's freaking genius, I tell you! I am curious to see what made the cabinet able to transport overtime!

I don't know if I just overlooked it or if it has yet to be explained, but I am very curious as to the story behind Lily's foot and it's another clever idea to have her "crippled" as you called it. Again, somthing I hadn't yet seen. Too often the Potter children are made too perfect, but I always know to expect better from you. :) I also LOVED how you had James and Al mentioned taking care of the Leaky Cauldron and making careers out of it after all the others had failed. This little snippet was just short and important enough that I just want to worship you even more. Again, they are made so perfect or with ambitions to be aurors or quidditch players. But not here. That was great. :)

I am enjoying this so much, and I can't wait for more. Love it, Susan! :D


Author's Response: Thank you very much, Drue! It was a great surprise that you'd paired mine with yours actually, even though the lengths were similar, and I wondered whether you had something particular in mind. ;) It's a wonderful compliment that you wanted to read this story, and I hope that it lives up to your expectations. ^_^

I'm glad that Lily was well-developed in this first chapter. I wanted to leave a good bit about her mysterious, especially the nature of her injury (for practical reasons) as well as other aspects of her character that'll have an affect on the plot, but at the same time, because she's a first person narrator, she'll reveal a lot without intending to, and that's always an interesting part of writing in first person, one that I enjoy thinking about while writing. Lily's probably the character whose most like me in personality, which of course helps. :P

After making Albus and James big-wigs in my other next-gen stories, I wanted a more down to earth set of Potter children. Lily would have been the Quidditch star (as opposed to James, who usually seems to get that role), but James and Albus are those kids who seem to take longer to grow up and "figure themselves out". I imagine that they've tried a whole lot of things, but haven't found what suits them best, so they go run a pub for a while. XD It's certainly more realistic that the perfect Potter children one tends to get in next-gen fics, and it's great that you saw and appreciated that detail. ^_^

Thank you for the lovely reviews! I really appreciate hearing from you!

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Review #23, by Badger 

8th April 2011:
I love love love time travel stories. Eek! Instant fave. You have a fantastic writing style. :) Can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: Ooh, thank you very much! This is rather a different kind of time travel story, so I hope that it satisfies. ^_^

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Review #24, by Snapdragons 

7th April 2011:
I'm not really a fan of time travel, though admittedly that might be because most of them on the archive seem to be not so original or well written. But I'm more than willing to change my mind after reading this chapter!

I love the idea of a vanishing cabinet and the descriptions used here. The language is really wonderful and I could picture the place as I read it.

Lily's predicament was horrible. D: I liked Ginny's frankness about how things would never be the same again.

This idea sounds really great and I can't wait to read the rest! :)

Author's Response: Time travel isn't my thing either, really - this is my first run at it, and I hope that it works out in the end. I've always found time travel plots to be very contrived, and that's something that's going to be hard to avoid. But wow, change your mind? That'd be glorious - maybe we can change our minds together, as I've only known one good time travel novel here at HPFF, and it's very different from what I'm trying here. So here's hoping. :D

Thank you so much for your compliments! It's wonderful to hear that you like the language - I don't want to go overboard with descriptions or floweryness, as they just wouldn't suit this Lily. She gets it from her mother, which is why I couldn't resist bringing Ginny in to show that Lily has at least one positive relationship. ;)

Thank you for reading and reviewing this story! Hopefully I can update soon! ^_^

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Review #25, by MajiKat 

6th April 2011:
gah i love the premise of this - have since you posted your topic on TGS. i have to say, i adore the fact that you are using lily here and not rose. i have been toying with the idea of lily for a while myself but i am still infatuated with rose and becoming drawn to molly.

anywho...enough of that
this is wonderful, susan. there is, as with a lot of your work, a timeless quality to it. very victorian in your phrasing, which i love to bits because i can't do it and because its just so lovely to read.

i like lily's voice in this. strange, because i usually despise her (i blame WTA actually...being one of the first lily fics i had read, lol) but in this, i like her. i sympathise with her, poor dear, and i like the classic theme here - young woman, injured/maimed, lonely, alone in a dreary old house watching time go by. reminded me strangely of Jane Eyre...do we get a Mr Rochester soon?

can't wait to see where this will go. i have ideas, but i shall wait patiently to see what you do. it will be fabulous, i know

Kate xx

by the way, love me some TS Elliot. spent a lot of time in high school with him.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this, Kate! Like I told you in the PM, it meant a lot to have your opinion on this story so early in its course (knowing the way I write stories, I can't know how long it will end up taking me to write this one :P).

After utterly destroying Lily in WTA and the one-shot, I wanted to give her a second chance - she's ended up being a more interesting character than Rose for me. She turned out very thoughtful, and I don't know if it's because I myself am thoughtful at the moment, or if she was just inside of me, waiting to have a proper voice at last. Writing WTA has almost made me dislike Rose, so it's great to have a refreshingly new female character to write. :D

The Victorian style will probably get more pronounced as I enter into my summer study period - all Victorian all the time. I'm going to go crazy, but at least my writing will turn out nicely. :P I wanted to make Lily sound educated, well-read because of her condition - she reads a lot, but she's a very critical reader, she's very critical of everything, actually. She is rather like Jane Eyre, which should make her interesting to write because I really, really can't imagine Moody as a Rochester. *shakes head* But who knows, right? ;)

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