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10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hdawg 

14th August 2012:
Fight some spiders, spider fighting...! Well that's what I'm imagining will happen in this chapter. Anything else would be a mighty big surprise. But I am unbelievably looking forward to more bromance. I love this bromace more than I can say.

Oh Neville, you and me would get along famously..."Neville thought that if three licorice wands just happened to appear in his midst, he'd be more than willing to snatch them up and take them for himself--he shook his head. Now was not the time or place to be thinking about licorice wands, no matter how loudly his stomach complained". Comparing people and food is just an ordinary thing for me now ;)

"But that was it! Rose. Last Christmas she'd tried to get him into Muggle fiction, and she'd shown him a series of Muggle detective stories which he'd read through." Ohmygod tell me it was Sherlock Holmes and I will kiss you. One of his adventures was called 'the adventure of the cardboard box'. I don't know why I shared that with you, I just thought it was really funny. I can kind of imagine Hugo liking it...

Oh my gosh this boy is too adorable for words! Can I just keep him? Please? "I had no idea he was coming and then wham! he was there. And then he was gone. It was like--wow./Like a scorpion, Hugo thought, and he struggled not to giggle out loud." I just...love him so much.

"They liked him, mostly, just didn't want to be best mates and that was fine, fine with Hugo. Mum and Dad had been popping by enough at school this year to keep him grounded." I want to be his best mate :( but the fact that he still needs his mum and dad this much is heartbreaking. I absolutely want to make my way into your imagination so that I can hug Hugo and tell him that I'll be his friend forever. Can I? You don't mind, do you?

Rose is one of us! "It sounded like the clacking that the keys on Rose's laptop computer when she was plucking away at a story. The same frenetic patterns, with the pauses and occasionally the violent stab at the space bar." I wonder what she writes about...Or maybe she actually is being imaginative and not writing fanfic at all. Maybe she's writing some kind of non-fiction book...Or maybe I'm thinking about this too much.

Oh Neville, why are you letting Hugo speak? He'll probably just drool and then say something silly about Scorpius being a scorpion, and then you'll all be eaten :( I mean, I love Hugo, but he is so awfully dim sometimes.

"I can't really be sure why I want to find the Quidropopot other than I think that it would be really awesome to play Quidditch with it." Just like I said, so awfully dim sometimes ;) but I love his frank honesty (and I am obv the girl he wants to ask to the ball, screw Marjie! ;))

Awh, Hugo's manners are lovely, bowing to the queen of the Acromantula! He is a true gentleman, that's for sure. He will have girls practically falling at his feet if they knew this about him. OHMYGOD CRAZY HORRIBLE SPIDERS. I HATE YOU SPIDERS. DIE. But Hugo and Scorpius held hands :3

Ahehe, Neville said funny words: "We didn't come all the way out here, nearly die by Acromantula attack, and risk everything we had just for farts and giggles." And Scorpius was, well, clever. I take my hat off to you, good sir. But where is Hugo? I am worried about him...

WHO THE HELL IS THIS MAN? This is the end of my review now. I am worried about Hugo and a man has just found them. Dear Godric, Lily, you know how to play me!

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Review #2, by AC_rules 

10th April 2012:
This just gets better and better, ahha. So good that I just tried to take a cheerful and delighted sip from my can of coke and split half the thing down my top and a little onto the keyboard - and now I feel a little like Hugo because I feel like that's something he'd do. Although I'm not sure he'd notcie.

I loved the acromantula. I thought you did a fantastic job with them and they were really, well, like they were in the books. And, the idea of Scorpius ripping off a pincer from one... wow, he is the embodiment of a Gryffindor. He needs awards.

Anyway, I'm loving this so much and I'm so glad it's finished so I don't have to wait and stuff :)

Author's Response: PAHA. And I always thought that was just something that happens in movies/TV shows! And you're definitely right. Hugo would do this, because he is not too coordinated even around the jaw/mouth/lips, and I'm sure you're right, it wouldn't quite phase him. He'd continue on with being concerned about whatever made him spit it out in the first place, not noticing the belts of steam and chimes of death issuing from his computer.

I was surprisingly fearless in writing the spiders. I knew it had been in my plans from the beginning so I was just like, LET'S DO THIS and got them onto the page. A lot of their history I had concocted ahead of time, but they also evolved into friendly, regal creatures here--that is, until the attack. Because they're creatures, after all. But they've made peace with those who will leave them, and the state of the magical world, in peace...and in a way they're doing that because they want the world to stay how it is.

I'm glad you're liking it!! This has been such a milestone in my writing; I like to take a drop out of my experimental prose-poem-esque/badly-received original fiction for school and have a lot of fun with this stuff.


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Review #3, by FoundriaPenguin 

25th December 2011:
WHAT WHAT
WHO IS THIS NEWCOMER
djsafas
IS IT HUGO? WHO HAS MIRACULOUSLY BECOME A MAN? WITH SCRUFF? :D

I KNEW IT. I KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO TRY TO EAT THEM. HMPH. and i bet the queen told them the right directions anyways because they thought that they were going to eat them anyway, so what did it matter? I KNEW IT.

SO THEY SHALL HOPEFULLY FIND THE QUIDROPOPOT, YES? i always have to double check that spelling, haha. wow, already halfway through the story...and so much has happened. GO SCORPIUS FOR GETTING SOME VENOM FROM AN ACROMANTULA. that's how it's done, obvs. and many cheers for Neville's quick thinking. I like how you linked his assertion now to how he lead everyone back in the war days and stuff.

OK I AM JUST DYING TO KNOW WHO THE NEWCOMER IS.
more comments in the next review, mmk. ♥

--jordan

Author's Response: OMG THAT'S THE BEST INTERPRETATION OF THIS SCENE EVER. -puts it down in the proverbial books-

In a way it's kind of a reflective move. Like, they're evolved enough not to need to eat humans, but then again they're animals and humans are a good source of protein and all that. TRUTH. You have discerned the queen's plans :D

The Quidropopot basically was keyboard smash on my part haha. When I look back at this, I don't even understand how I put in so many details and it all made sense. Well, most of it. I mean, Scorpius getting the fang was obviously integral to how the story ended, so that was completely on purpose, but other things came together strangely.

TO me, I mean, I imagine...that if you've gone through something like Neville has, having to face your collective worst fears at the most impressionable time in your life, it never leaves you. It becomes a part of you, like an extra heart, lung--he's going to think of it in situations that remind him of it because he can't ever not think about it in those situations, if that makes sense at all.

WOOOT~


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Review #4, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

4th December 2011:
AH! WHO IS THE MUSCULAR MAN!

And Scorpius is a genius but seeing as you are the writer and you made Scorpius a genius YOU ARE THE TRUE GENIUS! I didn't see any of that happening. I could not have even imagined it. I can see why this won a Dobby! This is adventure to the maximum!

Author's Response: Hahah thank you! Muscles are always nice, I think. And genius may be a stretch, but I'll take it anyways :P

Thanks again for the compliments and the review, I'm so glad you're enjoying it!


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Review #5, by Toujours Padfoot 

18th October 2011:
This review is going to suck because I keep thinking about that man and the cliffie and I just want to keep reading. BUT I MUST REVIEW. BECAUSE IT'S CALLED ADVENTURE DESERVES IT.

The pacing of this story is marvelous - you build up just the right about of tension and anticipation. You're not rushing anything, piling scene after scene on us as some fics try to do, and they get all jumbled and it's too fast. You take your time with the execution, which I appreciate more than I can express, because the delivery is phenomenal. I felt like I was walking behind Hugo and Scorpius and Neville through the forest, into the lair. I could feel them seize up with fear and tension, their minds rapidly (well, not Hugo's) spinning with getaway schemes. To be able to follow three people into the depths of the Forbidden Forest, and to genuinely have the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, is a gift. That's what it feels like - just like when I read the Harry Potter books. It's just such a treat to be able to melt completely into a story, blocking out everything else, and embarking on this fantastic journey to find Quidropopot. So thank you for writing something like this, because I am truly enjoying watching it all unfold.

Scorpius's sense of responsibility for both Longbottom and Hugo, worrying that Rose will immediately hate him if something bad happens to any of them, sort of breaks my heart when I examine his motivations and why he thinks this way. It makes me think of his parents, who are possibly able to flick the switch with affection whenever Scorpius ever did something wrong. Holding out love as a punishment. I don't know if this is true or not for your Scorpius, but it sort of feels that way to me. He's so worried that Rose will never forgive him, even though Scorpius is there only to aide Hugo. He's not encouraging Hugo to get into trouble, he's watching out for him. So it's sad for me to see that he's concerned about losing Rose if Rose loses Longbottom or Hugo, because of what his past has taught him. I could be way off-base here, but that's my theory. I just want to reach into the story and shake his shoulders and say, "She's going to love you no matter what happens." And honestly, what he's doing for Hugo right now is so amazing, on so many levels, that I cannot imagine it would escape Rose's understanding.

Lastly I would like to add that your wording is so spot-on and impressive and it really adds an old-world quality to the story, if that makes any sense. YOU ARE TOTES GOING TO BE FAY-MOOSE SOMEDAY. Mark my words, you will publish something.

BUT I MUST CONTINUE ONWARD AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT BECAUSE OF THIS CLIFFIE. MUST KNOW WHO MUSCULAR MAN IS.



Author's Response: SOROH YOO ORO OWOSOMO~

I decided I'd start responding now because your reviews are so glorious and numerous and all other good things that if I waited too long, like, for a time when I shouldn't be studying, I would be too overwhelmed to give each one the attention it deserves. So, ahem, cough cough clearing my throat here we gooo--

I hated myself in the amused, humoring way for writing cliff-hangers--I had never thought of myself as that type of writer but they just fit the story, I think. I liked the way that I could end a chapter there but then I, myself, would have to keep writing sometimes to figure out what was going to happen myself. Cliffhangers were often times like catapults for me because they forced me to start the next chapter.

Part of this ties into your next comment, I think--I couldn't really rush because I was figuring out the characters as I was writing them. This story has completely killed the illusion for me that writers know everything about their characters beforehand because obviously everybody goes through the writing process like me. Mmmhhhmm.

This story, I think I figured out about chapter 4, was rapidly becoming more than a humor fic, which was what it was going to be at one point; things became less funny with a humorous urgency and more funny with an quirky exploration; things became serious where I hadn't supposed they would and implications that I made thinking one thing became a couple more once they became integrated into the story as a whole.

As a person I'm comfortable with the idea that I have flaws and that people all have them and that some of them are less comfortable than others with them--as a person I don't know how well this is working out for me because I don't have Hugo's earnest desire to prove something--but as a writer it seems to be a huge asset. I'm comfortable taking on, for at least a time, other people's flaws, even ones that in another flesh-and-blood human being I might find repulsive or preventable. Don't know why I can, but I think it's part of what draws me and other people who are like this to writing as an exploration of these weaknesses.

What you say about Scorpius is, I think, the first time that someone in a review has picked up on what I thought I was very subtly creating--a contradiction in Scorpius's personality, in that he tries so hard to actively become a person wholly separate from his parents but that they actually are involved in his person more than he understands consciously. I'm sorry in a humanitarian way that it was painful for you but I am so, so happy as a writer that it happened. We want our stories to hurt, in a way--the reader to feel something. It's so gratifying, even more than I can say with that kind of word, to see this desire fulfilled.

I think Rose will understand, too :)

YOU'RE SO NICE 2 ME Y U SO NICE ahhh all I can say is that this story took over my brain while I was writing and I was seriously the most difficult person to live with during these constructive chapters because I was just--not in real life. The wording is not how I speak but came so naturally to this story and I'm glad, of course, you enjoyed it :) :)

EEE MUSCLES YAY

(h) (h)


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Review #6, by TenthWeasley 

17th October 2011:
How can you just leave me hanging like that? That is the rudest cliffhanger in the history of time. Ten-second shun, effective now.

I know that it didn't seem like ten seconds, but rest assured, the past 1/6 of a minute has been spent in stony silence in anger at your cliffhanger. I shall now progress with the review. And to sum it up for you briefly -- BEST. CHAPTER. YET.

Seriously -- I may or may not have put a cart in order ve-e-e-ry slo-o-o-o-o-wly in order to read to a good stopping point with the acromantulas. It was so good, I didn't even want to stop reading (and who needs a job anyway when I can read fic?). And then on my break I was inches from the page, curled up in my rather uncomfortable break chair BUT I DID NOT MIND IT AT ALL.

This story does things to me, things I hardly ever experience from fic. Things that some books don't do. And that's engage with me, interact with me, and make me WANT to keep reading it. Returning for another chapter isn't a chore or an obligation because you're a friend; it's because you have heaps of talent, and your words only make me want more words. I'm rooting for Scorpius and Hugo and Neville, wanting them to find the Quidropropot. Wanting Scorpius to break away from the walls his parents built for him. Wanting Hugo to find himself. It's some of the best characterization I've seen in a long, long time -- and that's taking literature as a whole into account.

Chapter seven has to wait until tomorrow afternoon in newswriting, and I don't even know how I'm going to stand it. Seriously one of the absolute best stories here, Lily. Believe it -- that Dobby was extremely well-deserved. It could have gone to no better story.



Author's Response: LOLZ i'm so patient i can outlast ten-seconds no problem.

OMG MAKE ME CRY WHY DON'T YOU HERE JUST WAIT A SECOND WHILE I WIPE MY EYES AND GRAB A TISSUE OR SOMETHING

I can't find that I can respond well to this review as you ARE A BLUBBERING FOOL but all I can say is thank you for being so invested in the story--I really had no idea it would be this well-received...no idea. And I'm so grateful for it!

(h) (h) x 10


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Review #7, by hpgrl 

8th June 2011:
Another very well written chapter! Awesome job lily :)
I think it's really funny that the acromantulas speak Arabic (I'm kinda fluent in Arabic) and there was a weird dude in one of my Arabic classes named aasim ;)

I have to admit, I actually believes that the spiders were good. I was surprised when they turned out to be evil. You wrote convincingly though and neville's quick thinking paid off.

Kay, bye for mow :D

Author's Response: thank you jade! i'm pretty pleased with it so i'm very happy when people seem to have enjoyed it!

ahhh i am glad then that there weren't like, glaring inconsistencies or weirdness with my application of it. i'm really not familiar with the language at all, and the culture is so rich that i'm sure all that i understand of it seems like nothing compared to people from it.

and i'm happy to hear that you BOUGHT INTO MY EVIL PLAN MUHAH. no but really. when i read back, i can always tell because well, i wrote the going evil part. and really, one must remember that they're only evil because they wanted to eat neville and hugo and scorp-o. other than that, i think they're doing something good, protecting that dastardly plant :)

thanks so much for the review! chapter 8 should be up soon i hope :D


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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll 

8th June 2011:
BAMF SCORPIUS WHAT?!!

hahaha. I'll have you know that I was thrilled that by the time I'm done reviewing this chapter and the next you'll have a round 55 reviews. Nice and even. And I'll have 325. Again nice and even. :D

Now onto you chapter. WHO IS ITT. YOU MUST TELL ME. (Pretend chapter 7 isn't posted yet and I have to live with the cliff hanger until you post) Gah. That is an effective cliffie. I liked the bit of action that surfaced in this chapter. That spider queen. ew. what a lying piece of work she is. I loved the little bit more we got to see of Neville and Scorpius in this chapter. I also think it is commendable that you were able to balance the description and narration that is typical to your chapters with the action sequences.

Now. I'll stop rambling and go on to read chapter seven since it IS posted and I don't actually have to suffer on the cliff. :P



Author's Response: that's right.

i know, i was so happy to see that number! :D

well you're just going to have to wait for the next chapter! it will be worth it i promise :) i'm glad that the cliffie doesn't seem just like FSLKDJFGHLIURTHAWILU wut out-of-nowhere because i think whenever i write them i'm like THAT'S SO OBVIOUS or THAT'S SO CHEAP but, hey, if it works... :)

yes, but as the queenie said, she learned to lie from humans, and really, she was just trying to protect the quidropopot. even though she tried to have my three favorite men for dinner, i still feel like i understand her a little bit. but that would make sense i guess since i wrote her and know her motivations while they might not seem obvious to you readers :)

i'm glad that it seems balanced. with action-packed chapters i'm a little lost...

thanks so much! :D


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Review #9, by Silverstarletworld (because I am too lazy to log in) 

5th May 2011:
So I have finally got round to reading chapter 6 *whoop whoop*!! This was a very exciting chapter even though it had spiders in it -shudders-. I still can't believe they are doing all this stuff for a plant *shakes head* I would have forgotten about it and left it a long time ago! I love Scorpius in this chapter being all Slytherin, stealing the map and pincher. So the spider was lying to them? Leading them into a false sense of security so then they could be lik BOOM attack lol. That is very, very mean of them! Oo and check you out with a cliffy =p, I am curious as to who this man is. I look forward to reading more =)

BTW - "Finding the plant means to most to Hugo'- This maybe just me, but I don't think it makes sense, did you mean 'the'?

Great Chapter
Silverstarletworld

P to the S. You have too many stories lol it is going to take me FOREVER to read them all. I say this because I am lazy lol =p

Author's Response: OH HAI
heheh yeah that's a typo..."finding the plant means THE most to Hugo." LOOKATCHU with your amazing skills of deduction!!
yep, spider was lying. and it basically said that it learned how to lie from humans. it's just trying to protect the plant! i think of creatures as different than humans in that they're not corruptible...humans could easily be corrupted by the plant, so the spiders don't want the humans to get a hold of it.
think of it as a coming of age story for Hugo...and also consider the fact that none of them actually KNOW why he wants the plant! or, if that's even what he is really after... *oh mysterious*
and yeah scorpius is becoming increasingly slytherin as i write this...i still think he's brave but in my next chapter he's a whiny-poo heh.
IT WILL BE SO TENSE. really. i'm tense writing it...that's a sign!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW and for coming to read...i appreciate it mucho :)
hehe don't worry about getting them done...i don't expect everyone to want to read them all!


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Review #10, by justonemorefic 

18th April 2011:
OH MY GOD WHO WHO WHO IS IT? D: WOMAN TELL ME NOW. AUUUGH!!! D: D: D:

Hrrumph, why doesn't this chapter have any reviews, I must fix it.

But oh my, that was glorious, I knew that something was up, And baww, little Hugo. So good and earnest. I totally thought they were home free and they were going to venture off to find the fruits and then BAM nope, they're just licorice sticks. I adoreee your dialogue. It's all nice and refined for the spiders. Their voice -shudders-

And Scorpius is SUCH A BAMF. Like that whole ninja thing. Holy crap on a cracker Scorpius, -swoon- Rose is a lucky girl (also, lulz at the spacebar metaphor 8D I can totally relate) AND THIS: "You ripped--this--off of one of the Acromantulas?" SNERRRK, I can totally see Neville saying that like. What. The. Fawkes.

Glorious as always ♥ Do write more.

Author's Response: HAH you will find out soon enough woman! i understand the agony, how do you think i feel about capers?
d'awww i'm so glad you liked it!! and i'm also glad you appreciated the dialogue! i re-wrote that scene until i was going crazy and then i ended up posting like the second version of it anyways D:
i know i LOVE him *swoon swoon* and good ol' neville :D
thanks so much for the review!! i've got things on a TEMPORARY hold as i work on a novella that i will write in its entirety before posting any of it. it's a new year's resolution that i've smartly decided to begin before the year is over. *nods*
♥


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