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70 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn 

13th March 2017:
Hello! I was brought here by some witty Nargles from HPFT and thought I'd leave you a review or several :)

I can see from the first couple of sentences why someone nominated this fic for the title of wittiest story. Immediately, I'm drawn in by the irresistibly well-written and humorous background information and commentary. Everything, from the MC's name and family history, to the introduction of the plot, is pure genius.

Everyone loves a bit of gossip! This is such an awesome premise for a story and I can't wait to see what develops over the next few chapters as you introduce Albus Potter to the mix.

Brilliant introductory chapter :)

Brax X

Author's Response: Hi! Ah, really cool to know the story was nominated (I already feel like it's an old story)! Glad you like what you see c: Way more narrative smugness to come.

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Review #2, by SilverMoonFairy 

6th August 2016:
Holy crap! We're reading your story for Book Club and, wow, this is amazing! A relation of Rita Skeeter- I've been thinking of writing something with her recently but I don't think I can out do this. The flow and grace and outright audacity of your character is amazing and I love how she doesn't even like what she does, but she's good at it, so she does it anyway. Wow! I'm so excited for the rest of the story!

-Liz

Author's Response: Ahh, how exciting! I hope you enjoy the rest! And definitely try to write that Skeeter story (ALL the snarky, underhanded reporters, pls). Thank you for your kind comments! c:

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Review #3, by Your Secret Santa :) 

20th December 2014:
Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas, happy holidays and all the good stuff! It’s your Secret Santa and I’m here to deliver your first present!

Since I’m having trouble deciding where to begin, let’s start at the beginning! That was a great beginning, in my opinion. In one fell swoop, you introduced the setting, the narrator and, most importantly, in my view, the narrator’s ambition. And what a great ambition it is: her name at the cover of the Daily Prophet. I really like Clemence’s honesty and frankness; she clearly doesn’t mince her words or beat around the bush.

Then we get to meet the rest of the staff of the Witchy Business (I like the name of the magazine, by the way!) and from what we’ve seen so far, I like them, but Pickett is probably my favourite so far – although I’m not sure whether or not I forgive him his disrespect for punctuation…

And this line! “Just because we report rubbish doesn’t mean we need to write like it.” It sums perfectly Clemence’s personality and her views.

After meeting the staff, we get to see just how the Witchy Business is circulated among the students. That part has to be one of my favourites because of how it is written. It’s not a simple description of Clememce and the others walking from one lavatory to the next; rather, you tell us how, on a typical Monday morning, the students wake up to find out a new issue is out and how the news spread around the castle like a wildfire. A very clever way to let the reader know how this newspaper business works! I also loved how Clemence and the others always destroy the master copy after twelve hours, partly as a precaution (because I imagine the teachers wouldn’t be too pleased if they got their hands on it…), and partly because by that time everyone already knows and keeping a copy isn’t really necessary.

And then the juicy part! Rose has just told Dom that Al has a girlfriend! I could very well imagine the look on Clemence’s face when she hears the news; no doubt it says, “Jackpot!” Methinks things are going to get interesting from here on…

This was a great first chapter! We got to meet the narrator and some of the central cast, and the setting and mood were established. Also, your language is simply delightful to read! It’s so fluent and vibrant that I am in awe! Great job and see you in chapter two!

Yours Truly,
Secret Santa

Author's Response: Hullo Secret Santa! I'm glad you like my characters and all their brash, grammar-disrespecting ways. It's definitely a story that doesn't mince words. Clemence likes making it clear to just about everyone what to expect from her; a warning of sorts, so that it'd be your fault for associating with her.

The circulation section is my favorite part of the first chapter! The story never really ends up being about the paper, but I do love the journalism process so (though WItchy Business is more like a tabloid!). Gossip and misinformation in general is fascinating to me, because despite their falsehood, they'll continue to color conversations and affect the truth.

Thank you so much! :)


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Review #4, by kassandra466 

15th August 2014:
That was fabulous. Kinda like the Hogwarts gossip girl.

Author's Response: Thanks! I've never watched/read Gossip Girl, but I'm glad you like it!

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Review #5, by s.w 

16th July 2014:
I love Ellen Page and how you used her as Clemence. It just makes the story even better, not to mention I want to be a journalist! Ellen Page + journalism + Next Gen fan fiction = LIFE. Hello Wednesday night x

Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^ I was in newspaper staff for awhile, so I channeled a lot of that into the first chapters of this story.

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Review #6, by zealousVisionary 

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I'm really liking this story so far! You've got a great, clever MC- I love that she's Rita Skeeter's great niece, that's a really interesting twist. The snappy dialogue is awesome as well.

A Hogwarts newspaper (especially one that publishes gossip) is a unique premise as well, and I'm liking the execution so far. I can say that I laughed out loud a few times- some of those lines were hilarious. (I loved "Just because we report rubbish doesn't mean we need to write like it.")

All in all, it's great to read such a clever, funny story- I'll definitely be continuing this one!

Author's Response: Thanks! :) Baha I never thought the gossip business was particularly unique, but I did hope to produce something unique out of it. I hope you read more!

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Review #7, by Beeezie 

6th July 2014:
Hey, I'm here to review for Ravenclaw for the House Cup!

I think I read this awhile ago - maybe for the Dobbys or the Golden Snitches? - and I remember loving it then, so I'm happy to have the excuse to come back and review it now. :)

I have not stopped loving this story since I last read it. If anything, I'm enjoying it even more. I love this exploration of school newspapers - both the concept and the dialogue cracked me up, especially as someone who loves (loves, loves) grammar.

I remember this getting into some really interesting Weasley family dynamics, which I'm already seeing signs of with the mention of Rose, and I'm really looking forward to exploring them in future chapters. Adding this to my 'to read' list, and hopefully I'll get through a lot of it for this event. :P

Amazing job. This is my kind of humor.

Author's Response: Ah--I'm glad you're back! :)

The irony (double ironic if I'm using irony wrong) is that I'm quite terrible with grammar, and I knew making that joke would set a bar on Clemence's inner narrative. Wouldn't it be silly if she thought ungrammatically?

Hope you have time to finish this at some point! The early chapters are pretty rough at the moment, but I hope I have time to go over them soon.


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Review #8, by Leonore 

6th July 2014:
Hi!

Straight away, you've got a great MC. This sums her up pretty nicely: "Just because we report rubbish doesn't mean we need to write like it." Ambition, and common sense. She may not admire the magazine, but she's not going to cut corners or mess around with it. It's her project, she's taking it seriously.

I also love this: "...for those unwilling, a double-chocolate cauldron cake thrust under their nose does wonders."

I'm trying to think of CC because HC review requirement and struggling a lot. It's so good! Um, so lets be ridiculously nitpicky: "You don't really want to know if your friendships are stronger than your stomach." This sounds like a threat, but the previous sentence said that the method of using a chocolate cake worked wonders so apparently all of the stomachs are stronger than friendships and people all end up knowing. Um, don't know if that makes sense, hope so.

Beautiful writing style, lovely original plot. Gorgeous characterisation. 10/10!

~ Leo xx

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Antics like the first chapter are super nostalgic for me, because this story stops being about the newspaper very quickly, but I'm former newspaper staff and I miss the processes and team banter. The nitpicking, distribution, due dates that are never met!

Teehee, I'll take the nitpick for your HC requirement. I'm forever editing this story, though I'm stopping soon since I'm doing an OF rewrite.

Thank you! ^__^


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Review #9, by Veritaserum27 

6th July 2014:
Hello!

This is such a great story. I really like the premise of Clemence being Rita Skeeter's great niece. She seems to be just like her - except with a nasty teenage twist. She's got a job to do - spread gossip and that is precisely what she is going to do!

And how many times do I have to tell you, 'ironic' doesn't mean what you think it means.

This made me laugh out loud! I think it is because so many people misuse that word - but you would think someone in the business of writing stories would know the actual meaning!

Great start!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: It's kind of funny that I based a character off Skeeter considering how much I hated Skeeter when I read the books, but I guess when I'm the one who gets to write her, it's so much fun. I get why JKR came back to the HP world with an article in Skeeter's voice 8D exaggerations abound.

Thank you!


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Review #10, by SketchCyanide 

6th July 2014:
- House Cup 2014 Review -

First of all, can I just say how much I absolutely love Clemence; she appears smart, very pro-active and not likely to be knocked down easily. Probably a woman I'd like to keep on my side :P She is honestly one of the best OC's I have read recently, well thought out and not at all Mary-Sue.

I love the idea of a Hogwarts newspaper, Clemence seems quite serious about it - I see a top journalism career in her future - even if the others don't care about punctuation(I would've hexed the guy for being too blasé about it)

This was so well written, and I was pretty much hooked by the second line. It flows really well and it's easy to read, so obviously I'm wanting more! Especially if Al has some mystery girlfriend... ;)

I'll keep reading, and maybe see you next chapter!

-- Jez

Author's Response: Thank you! Clemence has become an incredibly important OC to me, and I hope you like her (or dislike her--she's wouldn't mind either way) in the chapters to come :)

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Review #11, by Roisin 

11th June 2014:
So I've just read all of the chapters uploaded so far, and I couldn't help but think this would make a really great (and welcome) OF. YA needs more female characters like Clemence.

Then I stalked you a little bit, and found out you were doing JUST THAT. So because I encourage you to continue that project, I thought I'd offer you some feedback on each chapter for your adaptation. I'll upload the next review once this is answered, to manage both our time.

First off: I think a New England boarding school in the US is the easiest transition (since an OF won't have the Potter/Malfoy basis of knowledge, you could include familiar archetypes like "Celebrity Father" or "Senator Father"). That said, "Clemence is poor/everyone else is rich" is cliche, and "everyone is rich" is way too Gossip Girl.

I could also be a kind of alternative boarding school, a magnet school of sorts, where not everyone is wealthy. A main draw of Harry Potter was introducing the magical world of Hogwarts, so creating a school of your own design might accomplish a similar feat for new readers. Also, you wouldn't need to worry about getting details of an established boarding school world correct.

Either way, Upstate New York might be a good location, and I recommend researching Andover and Exeter (prominent American boarding schools).

If you set the story in California, you'll need to be way up in the NorCal boonies to have the tremendous Lake scene. And Deep NorCal would REQUIRE pot-use, and discussion of its cultivation/trafficking (trust me, I live very near, its the main economy up there).

As for the title of the fic--I'm really glad this name inspired you to write this story, because I loved reading it so much. But for whatever reason, I don't actually care for the title. I almost didn't read it on that basis alone, but got hooked pretty quickly (and I don't even usually like NextGen!). I would encourage you to consider other titles that capture the snark more readily. For me, "Etc. Etc. (Life Goes On)" didn't transmit that. "And Capers Ensue" is a great title, so I trust you to come up with something good.

Anyway, "Upon my entrance to (the charms clasroom,)" is a clunky way to start a sentence. (I know you'll probs rewrite the first chap anyway, but avoid clauses like that).

Language like "in ten-point serif font, small caps, kerned in fresh virgin ink" is great! Keep all that stuff. But other things like "that very important bit in ten-point..." or "saying [wc] who wrote the article" could be better. Use more succinct language in certain clauses allowing the more fanciful prose to shine.

Example: "Look closer. What it really says is, 'It's me'..." Could be: "Look closer. It really says, 'It's me'..."

I like the "does not mean what you think it means" reference, as well as Dom's obsession with layout. I could imagine her having a Supermodel mom in the OF, and the later bit about her being able to recognizing a decimal point font shift and hear bad design screaming was one of my favorite moments. It's our primary indication that she's more dimensional than just a Mean Girl (I like a Mean Girl implied to be both clever and a tad neurotic).

On another as-yet-introduced point: Appy is way too crazy for my liking later on. She needs a more developed carrot/stick than "Crazy will literally murder Clemence/Violet."

It would be easy to adapt "Witchy Business" to be a blog or app, but I would encourage you to keep it a print operation. Blogs and apps don't have staying power, which will date your OF over time. Print is pleasantly nostalgic, and I loved the part where Albus/Clemence get covered in ink stains after making out. Also, a blog or app is just asking for Gossip Girl comparisons, which doesn't your work justice.

For sentences like "...cake thrust under their nose does wonders," try paring to "..cake under their nose." It's all about varying number of words per clause.

"Your typical vapid Gryffs" would be very easy to turn into cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are too easy, and most high end boarding schools don't have them.

"My pocket flares with a warmth" probably won't be in the OF (because: magic), but as an example edit: "My pocket flares warm" is better, and "my pocket flares hot" has a nicer sound. "With a" is unnecessary.

As I said, try and keep as much of the grammar humor and wry commentary. Also, perhaps consider switching the narration to first person past tense. Present tense first person doesn't scream "serious literature!" and I think this story is smart enough that it deserves more than "*just* YA fiction."

I didn't immediately know Albus/Clemence would be the the arc of this story, so I encourage you to strive toward that--makes the build ups more fun. Show don't tell in his character intro (so no big chunk of "Albus Potter is the X boy in school"). The intro should bleed through a few paragraphs of activity. Maybe introduce him off-hand a little bit earlier in the chapter, in p@ssing, prior to the "he has a girlfriend" thing.

Maybe cut the number of named characters as well. Since we all know the nextgen kids, it's easier to keep them straight. Brand new characters will be harder for readers to keep trak of. Also, people who are related in this fic don't have to be family in your OF.

Also, you never say what time of year this story starts. Describe the changing weather, changing seasons,etc more.

Hope that was helpful! Other reviews won't be so terribly long, since I addressed overall points here. (I'm up to the word count, so gushing got cut--I do gush on this!). And I can answer any questions in later posts.

("clasroom," "p@ssing," "trak;” silly bot thought correct spellings were naughty).

Author's Response: Responded to the other review!

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Review #12, by spreaddapoo93 

3rd December 2013:
Hey hey!

I have just returned to this fic after finishing Capers, and discovered that I had not reviewed on your first chapter!

etc. etc... By golly, was it always as awesome as it is now?! I'm just utterly blown away, every time I go back and recover your works I am at the edge of my seat/bed/bench, watermelon dangling forgotten from my lips as my eyes flicker over the page, finger on hyperactive scrolling mode.

Ah! How I have missed Clemence! I love her free flow of words, so snappy and spunky...

Anyway, *strangely enough* I haven't much to say else, other than thumbs up and freakin' great work! AH! I'm dying to move onto the next chapter.

Much love,
~spreaddapoo

Author's Response: Phew! Finally going to start responding to your etc. reviews c:

I actually did go back and edit a bit, as I do after every hiatus--and there have been a few since your last time here! Don't forget about your watermelon though, nooo. Not your watermelon D:

Beginning!Clemence is Clemence in her comfort zone. All snappy and pride. Just wait until you see the double-digit chapters hehehe.


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Review #13, by Gred 

6th November 2013:
Hello!
I just found this story, and I already love it! First off, I am amazed by your writing style - it's descriptive but not dull, short and quippy. It feels like it's almost satirical? Anyway, I also really like Clemence (great name, by the way), she seems like one of those cynical, on-top-of-it-all girls whom I wish I could write (if not be!). And I love that she's related to Rita, that's genius. I like Pickett and Janey, and the whole feel of the newspaper business, and I can't wait to see more of the three of them. ("And how many times do I have to tell you, 'ironic' doesn't mean what you think it means." Hahahahaha) On the whole, I haven't seen Dom as a main cousin in a story before, so I'm looking forward to seeing her as well. She seems like she could be great fun to write - a bit of Bill's common sense with Fleur's beauty and charm... just brainstorming, here. Also liking seeing the cousin relationships from an outsider's view, so that will be fun.
Sum up: really liked it, wish I could write like this, going to read next chapter now, comfort the semi-colons for me!

- Lily (Gred)

Author's Response: Ahh! A new reader! :D Love your username. This story is a bit of a satire in its subject matters, but it doesn't detract from the storyline or characters, so you're correct! Clemence is too fun to write; you should definitely try writing someone like her. Someone who just tells it like it is. She is my mind with twice the negativity and without a filter.

I used to be in newspaper, so I love a bit of newspaper snark c: Pickett's a darling and Dom's a bit of a sassy diva with insurable hair, someone who likes to make her own entertainment if she can't find it, heh.

comforting the semicolons as I type;;; I hope you like the rest of the story! ♥


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Review #14, by patronus_charm 

31st August 2013:
Ah this first chapter was amazing! I’ve been meaning to read this story for a while but it was only when the Dobby results came out I finally managed to get to here (congrats on them by the way! I can already see why this story won them!), so here I am!

I’m already in love with Clemence! Even her name is just amazing, and falling in love with an OC so quickly rarely happens to me, so I just can’t wait to read on. She just seems to have this wonderful energy about her which draws me in. Plus, the fact that she’s an aspiring journalist with the same sense of humour as me makes it even better!

Dying – ‘"Children are walking paper shredders," to quote her’ I never thought of Rita ever having any family, so I love the fact that Clemence is her niece! I really hope she makes a cameo in this story, because her one liners are some of my favourite!

The hustle and bustle of the newspaper office was great, I actually felt like I was at proper one as opposed to a Hogwarts one! I could see flares of Skeeter in Celemence in those scenes so that was really great! I love how Dom’s part of it too, and I really like her characterisation so far and can’t wait to see how the other next gen characters are woven into this too!

This line reminds so much of my old fan fiction ‘"This article's a complete abuse of commas.’ I can really relate to Clemence’s need to rid them, they are awful when they’re overused.

Your descriptions of all the girls reading the newspapers and which sections they headed straight towards was really great! It had me cracking up all the way through especially the ‘vapid Gryffs’ part :P

Ah the witch hunt has begun! I really can’t wait to see how this develops as I have a feeling it’s not going to be as straightforward as I would like to think.

A brilliant chapter!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! Finally getting to review responding! c: Wah they've been the best present nagging me at the top of every page.

I've seen a lot of cynics in fiction, but I'm very rarely satisfied with their long-term portrayal. Clemence is my response to that. Someone who is unabashedly herself, selfish and not sorry at all. She also began as an outlet for all my media and celebrity ravings, and occasional literary/historical references though I've sadly made fewer allusions now that I'm fully mired in science. Oh, the humanities (pun intended)! I'm rather in love with her name. It's my favorite OC name of mine along with Ellian Cearney. Something about ambiguously gendered monikers and possibly the letter C.

Skeeter doesn't really show up, but she's the subject of a number of my favorite zingers! Aside from Dom and Rose, family generally stays a background subject, though the subject of Clemence's parents is rather interesting. It's something I've mentioned externally, but hasn't come up in-story yet.

Bbahaha, the irony is, of course, that I play fast and loose with commas a la Pickett. Probably worse.

I think that's the sort of attitude to carry throughout this entire fic: "it’s not going to be as straightforward as I would like to think." :D


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Review #15, by Misschievous12 

23rd June 2013:
I love the start! Very original idea. I am on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! c: I hope you'll like the rest!

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Review #16, by Dezire_427 

18th January 2013:
Gina!

I love this!

This is the second time I'm reading etc. etc., with the sole intent of leaving a review for every chapter (long overdue). I had never anticipated I would enjoy re-reading it so, so much, because I already know what would happen next. But seems like this is one of those stories which you can never get enough of.

"This article's a complete abuse of commas. I've got semicolons weeping for their brethren,"- As the member of the editorial board of the school newsletter, I understand exactly what Clemence means- to correct some of those shoddily written articles is a nightmare, especially when the handwriting resembles that of a baboon.

And oh- In the newspaper business, there's a lot in a name. No, not rubbish like "Selena means moon" in Latin or Greek or Parseltongue- I can't even say how much I adore this line... The number of times I've come across fics where I've encountered this type of rubbish! But I adore your take on it- again because of my ties as co-editor (which is why I hate it when they get my name wrong.)

Clemence, no surprises, is an extremely interestig character- she has no qualms about her er, unethical journalism, and it's easy to see exactly what makes her a Slytherin, even from this one chapter. I also admire her dry humour- very sarcastic and classy.

All in all, I'm really looking forward to being re-introduced to Clemence and Co., I can hardly wait to go to the next chapter!

Love,
-Akansha.

Author's Response: c: Thank you so much! Sorry it took so long to get to responding this; I wanted to wait until I got back to writing the next chapter so I have some ~review responding muse~ to pump myself up.

Ha! I was part of the newspaper, but I was graphics. I actually terrible abuse the wrong punctuation because my fingers like to type whichever one they feel like, and I'm just sprinkling commas every time my mind stops to pause.

I understand the significance in names in a literary sense, and it's a very subtle thing, but omg THE TIMES I COME ACROSS THESE IN STORIES BLATANTLY YES.

Clemence ♥ she is what she is.


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Review #17, by Juicey_Moosey 

10th December 2012:
Coming from the Holiday Review Swap :)

So, I've been reading 'etc. etc. (and life goes on)' for ages now, as in I can't wait for the updates etc, but I'm pretty certain I have never reviewed any of the chapters before :| (I'm sorry! don't shoot/jinx/hex me...) Anyway:
I really like the beginning of this, it's a good mix between introduction and action - which I always mess up - because it gives us all the info we need (There's nothing more annoying for me than reaching the end of a chapter and not knowing who the character is...) but it doesn't give the whole plot line away.
I like the way you've mentioned/made her a relation of Rita Skeeter; it gives us an idea of why Clemence is the editor of Witchy Business, and almost makes her seem slightly innocent, like she had been brought up believing what she's doing is okay... (I think this is me just over-analysing this, English at school makes you analyse EVERYTHING. And I mean Everything.) I also love the characterisation of them all (Dom, Pickett, Clemence etc.) because they seem so... normal... Dom strikes me as that person that people suspect has some form of OCD just because she appreciates position and layout; and then I love Pickett and his punctuation, he reminds me of myself, and Clemence of my English teacher, especially when we're getting marked on SPAG. Then Clemence is just... she seems so... Eughh, this is so hard because I've read the rest -facepalm- I don't know, there's just something about her... I also like the semi-cliffanger, I think it creates that sort of suspence that keeps your reader hooked.
But I really enjoyed this chapter, and it's nice to be able re-read it and finally leave you a review ;)
Bye for now :)
-Julia

Author's Response: Oooh I had no idea you've read everything! :D I got really lucky with the intro to etc, I think, because I knew exactly what scenes I wanted to start with -- especially the bit on how gossip spreads through the school.

Dom's graphic nitpicks are totally my own! I was Graphics editor back in high school, and I should not have Clemence speaking of comma abuse when I abuse it so blatantly in my own writing, but alas xD

It's strange to read early Clemence sometimes, because she's so blithely confident and nothing's wrong and she's always on top... until it all slowly slips away. Her narration style even changes.

♥ thank you!


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Review #18, by Elfo 

15th September 2012:
Amazing first chapter.
I love the plot. The characters. Your writing style. EVERYTHING. I really really like it.
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^ hope you like the rest!

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Review #19, by slytherinchica08 

10th September 2012:
Oh what a wonderful start to the beginning of your story! I loved how you showed how the gossip gets around Hogwarts.. I thought that that was rather interesting and fun. Also very smart idea to add in that they wipe the papers after tweleve hours so that nobody can go back and say that they said something wrong. I'm very interested to see where you go with this story as its very interesting to me and i think it will be full of lots of fun banter and just wonderful plot line altogether. I'm glad that this small plot bunny came to be and that you took the time to write it! I think that your main character seems like a lot of fun and I love that you have made up a lot of minor characters to go along with this fic so we aren't just seeing the potter/weasley clan! That small clip at the end of this chapter makes me want to continue reading and see what is going to happen next even more so! Keep an eye out as I will be coming back to read and review more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^ I really loved writing the first chapter, as I love figuring out the mechanics of how stuff like this would work 8D wiping the newspaper, etc. The bit about the gossip going around is still one of my favorite bits from the whole fic.

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Review #20, by married to black 

18th July 2012:
Clemence! Oh dear lord, this one makes me giggle. Truth be told, I find him rather annoying. But he's such a class act in the sense that he acts so... above everything. But in a rather "classy" fashion, if that makes sense. Like, he is very put-together and such.

I like the whole idea behind this. I worked with the newspaper department in school and know how it is like being editor and getting the papers out by the deadline so I totally related to that bit where they were finishing up and getting ready to distribute their work. I love gossip columns - what can I say? I am just a girl who likes any news! - and reading about Hogwarts having one is interesting but also vair hilarious. So I really love this plot idea to bits. And your other story (And Capers Ensue) totally made me fall in love with Albus... I HOPE HE IS JUST LIKE THE WAY HE WAS IN ACE IN THIS STORY. Gaaah, as you can tell, I am Albus obsessed. So I am really stoked for what is coming next! Who is this girl that he's secretly dating - and why is not me?! Heehee.

Well, I cannot wait to read the following chapters. Oh how I will enjoy the Albus galore. And as usual, I found no grammar nitpicks or such to point out. There was only one part when Pickett (am I spelling his name correctly? Gaah) is adding an em-dash and you went from he to Pickett. (I am on my phone so I cannot copy and paste the quote but it was something like "he said 'fine, hold -' Pickett grabbed the quill...". The change from he to Pickett confused me some. I felt like 'he' was a third male that had come up and Pickett was correcting his error. I had to re-read a bit to get it. Maybe if you place Pickett first then say he second? It would make more sense and sound less confusing. Maybe I am just slow but that's the only thing that jumped out at me. Other than that, excellent writing as usual. You are just so fab!

Author's Response: Hee, I saw that you discovered the 'he' is a 'she' in the next chapter ;) I was in newspaper too! Loved the rush and poking about pages. I was graphics, but dabbled in the writing a bit, too.

MY ALBUSES ARE SO POLAR OPPOSITE. That's the fun of it. I've determined though, that in a death math, ACE Albus wins hands down.

Ooh, I'll take a look.

Thank you for the review! ^__^


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Review #21, by Aguamenti123 

3rd June 2012:
I don't know much, but this is a brilliant first chapter.
The structure of it, the way you write, everything is
just great and makes me want to read more (which I
will) :D I love your idea of an OC related to Rita
Skeeter, by the way.

Author's Response: Thank you! :) It's been lots of fun writing this ^__^

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Review #22, by MazK 

11th April 2012:
I love your style of writing, it's great!

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #23, by The Empty Frame 

21st March 2012:
Can I just say, I love the main character. Everything about him. He's so snarky and obnoxious and amusing :)

Green with Envy 2012!

Author's Response: Thanks! (a her, am I right? ;D)

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Review #24, by alicia and anne 

15th February 2012:
I really like this first chapter, I love that she's in a Hogwarts newspaper.
I really like this storyline. I wonder how Al will like being in the paper?
Loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks! :D Hehe, unless it's for saving the world, probably not too much.

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Review #25, by littlemisssnape 

15th February 2012:
this is unlike anything I've ever read on hpff and I love it! I'm continuing now.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the first chapter! :) I hope you like the rest!

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