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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Fawkes394 

30th December 2012:
I really like this story so far. It's very original and different to anything else I've read. Also, I never pictured Scorpius and Hugo being good friends. There's a small mistake in it, Slytherin didn't accept muggles before the war, but it did accept half-bloods, Snape was one of them (the Half-Blood Prince).

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by to leave a review (: Thanks also for pointing out the mistake, sometimes I make them because I'm too lazy at times to be a detail-oriented writer. In the case of accuracy, well, I can't remember what context it was in--what you mention, I mean--but if it was Scorpius thinking on the Slytherins, it could be that his knowledge is limited and that what circulates in his world is not what we know in our world of post-war information. Though your point is still completely valid. Sometime in the future I'm thinking of doing another over-all edit for information, and this definitely helps!

x lily


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Review #2, by hdawg 

14th August 2012:
This story is definitely being favourited, just so you know. These last few weeks have been a fantastic few, what with all the amazing stories I have read from the puffins. I am just so privileged to know and be friends with you. So thank you, for just being so lovely and wonderful ♥

ONWARDS WITH THE ADVENTURE!

"but Scorpius reached over and gave him a tremendous nooggie. He struggled to escape, letting out a yowl, then appealing, when this failed, to Neville's sympathies. But the old man just smiled evilly, draining the rest of his coffee and watching on even as Scorpius proceeded to put Hugo in a headlock and wrestle him to the ground." Best. Bromance. Ever. That is all I can say (mixed with an emotional voice and tears)

Woooah. They /bet/ on pureblood relationships?! That's wrong on so many levels. But I love the way that Neville kind of appreciates Scorpius for being different, for making a conscious effort to be so. After the last chapter (and my tears), this is just so lovely to read, that he has been accepted by one half of the wizarding community even if it means severely hindering ties to his own family and their side.

Haha - "Flitwick, the old sod" - that description is brilliant. Not only because I love describing people as 'sods' (my grandparents taught me this word, and they taught me well), but because it's /Flitwick/ being described by Neville. Sheer brilliance.

I adore them: "What if we all cast huge heating spells on the ice till it melted and turned into water again?" Hugo asked, reinforcing the idea behind the word 'huge' by stretching his arms out as far as they would reach./"You have an impressive wingspan," Scorpius said". They are such children and I love it. Some stories get it wrong and make them almost too old for their years, some make them too young, but you have made it just right - hit the balance perfectly. I congratulate thee.

"He threw his head back and let out a mighty roar of delight, shedding his coat and robes as he flew down the shore to the water, plunging in clumsily" Awh, my heart. Your imagination is fantastic, to come up with all of this is just...amazing. I really don't have any more words to describe what I am feeling for this story right now.

Oh dear Godric Gryffindor, ACROMANTULA! How will the son of Ron react to this, I wonder...well, right now I am scared because I absolutely hate spiders (maybe Hugo will save them, and therefore me?).

"He had known the ruby to be powerful enough to transform wizards into the Egyptian gods, but to pass down enough power through the years to create a hide immune to magic? That acted as a shield against spells?" Lily, you are a God. How do you even come up with this?! You are so brilliant and I am so sad that I am not half as brilliant as you are. Seriously, reading this, it's like reading a book of its own. You have to write and be published some day, please (and I will buy your book first, just so you know :))

Ah3h3h3: "You are braver than him, and he would never have put a scrap of metal in his ear." I like that. The only reason that Scorpius is better/braver than Draco is because he pierced an ear. Not the fact that he basically disowned his heritage, made friends with Albus against his father's wishes, and is now on this adventure with a drooling 15 year old and a professor who can't say 'no'; no, it's the fact that he has an earring. Brilliant.

Oh Scorpius, you are so lovely! "Scorpius hated himself for doing this to her. He cursed under his breath as he realised that the last three days had probably been torture for Rose Weasley." And so in love! Ajlmc'lc;jwdnv'o, my shipper heart!

Ooooh, this bridge and Hugo's thoughts are interesting. I am, well, not /scared/, but slightly apprehensive. But my baby just wants to be a man! "Hugo was suddenly struck with the same insane jealously that overcame him as he watched some of his dormmates shave in the morning--all he wanted was to be manly, how much longer was he going to have to wait?" He really needs to watch 'Mulan' if he thinks he's got it rough. At least he has a Y chromosome, Mulan has to make do with a dragon and bug trying to help her act all manly!

Your cliffhangers, as ever, are massive, and so now I must finish this review to see Scorpius, Neville and Hugo fight off some spiders! WOO!

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Review #3, by AC_rules 

10th April 2012:
So I've been dying to read the rest of this story for a really long time, because it's one of those truly fabulous and original stories that have just sort of grabbed hold of me. So, this is on day two of my Easter reading list, and it's now day four but we're going to ignore that because, well, I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to catch up.

I loved this chapter.

This Hugo has become the canon version of Hugo for me: a sort of abstract intelligence, a innate tenancy towards adventure (very much like Hermione and Ron, in that respect) and a touch of the hilarious and the pathetic.

I love Scorpius too and this chapter was full of exciting plot development and what not.

And the last bit really put a grin on my face :D

Author's Response: Heh. I'm so glad you came back!

This Hugo is /definitely/ my canon version, although, duh, that would only make sense I guess. I'm glad you're liking Scorpius too! I got some complaints about him being a bit bland at first. To be honest, it was just me not wanting to give away everything at once. It's like that in real life and also in writing. You don't use up all your "ammunition," so to speak, right at first, but instead you save it for when the zombies pop up from around the corner later in the story. For me the zombies were going to be the real, defining bonding moments in the story when Scorp would realize how it was he was trying to reconcile himself with his parents and peerage through Hugo's own coming to terms with his differences, weaknesses, and strength.

ANYWAY. Thanks so much for your reviews! I'm going to try to respond to all of them tonight, let's hope that a little of your own review-responding luck transfers magically to me :)


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Review #4, by FoundriaPenguin 

25th December 2011:
LOL. "ALL HE WANTED WAS TO BE MANLY, HOW MUCH LONGER WAS HE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT?"
OH HUGO. ♥

dang, ACROMANTULAS. i had no idea they would appear in this story! what a twist. i wonder...is the acromantula going to actually lead them to the fruit or are they going to feast on them? i would totally not be surprised if this was just a lure, a trap. and a QUEEN acromantula? interesting, very interesting. i remember in canon Aragog was the basic head of the acromantulas, right? something like that. :)

HEHE SCORPIUS HAS AN EARRING. y is he so cool.

so basically there's a tropical island in the forest...and they're going to find the quidropopot now. i can't believe it's already been 3 days! aren't the people at hogwarts concerned about any of their whereabouts? lol.


this is officially going on my favorites now. :P
--jordan

Author's Response: ALL THE QUESTIONS lol. I think Aragog was the head of them because they all didn't eat people cause he asked him not to. I don't really know, though. I just kind of assumed and went with the queen idea ;)

Scorpius mostly has an earring because the model I use for him has one. But also because I could use it as a sign of ~teenage angst~ etc.

The people at Hogwarts are pretty oblivious and they also believe Flitwick when he says nothing's wrong even though that's probably not a very safe assumption for anyone to make as it's HOGWARTS and three people have gone missing...

I'm so grateful for your reviews! :D Thanks so much (h)


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Review #5, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

4th December 2011:
I never know what to expect! Really you incorporate just about everything and anything. I liked how Neville analyzed the boys, he seems to do that throughout the chapters coming to his own conclusions. Reminds me a bit of Remus but I think Neville is more laid back actually! I love the interaction and the bond that's happening between Scorpius and Hugo. They're learning so much about each other, they're quickly becoming good friends and their personalities are different but they compliment each other so well! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: I'm glad that it was a bit unexpected :) To me, a story that takes place in a magical world should be full of magical things! In this story, creatures seemed to work rather well.

A big part of this story, as you've pointed out, is the way that the characters think about themselves, each other, their situations. As a thought-prone person myself, it was natural to write this way, and because part of this story seeks to reconcile and outsider, a perpetual faux pas, with the greater society, so much of that is internal, and that needed to be an element of this story!

Thanks again for your review! I love to see how people are reacting to the chapters and characters as they go through the story.


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Review #6, by Toujours Padfoot 

18th October 2011:
HOLLO LOLY THO OZTOC PRONCOSS

Neville reminds me of Remus a bit, when he taught Defense. I keep thinking of Remus's patience with young Neville, sort of guiding him, trying to increase his confidence, which was very much lacking. I see a lot of that in the way Neville regards Hugo. It's like a cycle of wise, world-weary professors and boys who don't quite fit in. It makes me wonder if Remus ever had a professor who did the same for him... Neville also seems slightly surprised with Scorpius, whose heart is so full of affection and such determination that I just want to hug him. He is slowly becoming my very favorite fanfic Scorpius. There is so much depth to him - I just love it.

I also love Hugo's unexpected moments of lucidity and the ensuing shock of both Neville and Scorpius. It's like very tiny remnants of Hermione are hiding somewhere in him and they pop out at random times.

What I love best of all, however, is that I never know what to expect. The warm river with tropical colors made me go :O and I was so excited. It's been a long time since I've read something with such a sense of adventure in it. I'm so excited to keep reading this because I honestly have no idea where it's taking me. And I really like that.

You should be so, so proud of this story.



Author's Response: THOT MODO MO LOOGH :D

I never thought of that correlation before; I mean Neville and Remus. I was trying to make him a good professor, but now that you mention it, there is more of a connection between Remus and Neville / Neville and Hugo than I saw before. I like that! Because I did want Neville to be more than a professor (AND NOT IN A CREEPY WAY) for Hugo--a mentor, sensitive to his er, special needs. I'm glad you saw this :)

I'm glad that you are enjoying the random Hugo because when I wrote it I was like...I'm such a bad writer, I can't even figure out how to give him depth of character ASDFJALRTYLASKJF.A WHAT AM I EVEN DOING~ So I think that even though they're still random, they might not be as out-of-place or bad as I had thought. Which is uber encouraging!

For people like my dad who are much more used to reading writing and assuming that authors plan out everything while they're writing and it works like they want it to, the concept was hard to understand, but while I was writing this story a lot of things happened without my express precognition or, actually, permission. Things, I mean, like the tropical locations--I swear I knew before hand that things would get interesting but as I was writing this a vivid picture would splash across my vision and I would write out what I was looking at. I still see it, right now, while typing this--what I imagine this scene to actually look like.

I'm glad you're along for the ride--this ends up being a little bit of a bumpy one.

Thank you so so so much for your reviews, I really appreciate the time you're taking to give me feedback O LOVO YOO (h)


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Review #7, by TenthWeasley 

17th October 2011:
Hugo, you precious so-and-so, you are manly to ME. Stubble or no stubble, in your wink-peppery self. I should like to reach through my screen -- like so -- and just give you a large hug. And then follow you on your blundering adventures.

Okay. I'll address the author.

Honestly, this story gets better and better with each successive chapter, and I just have so, so much fun reading it. It's a funny thing about your story, but a good thing -- after having been writing for a decade, I've started being able to pick out writing processes in things I read. I can make an estimation as to whether something was edited in after the first draft, or whether it's a plot point added deliberately, although attempting to look inconspicuous. The Harry Potter books have always flowed seamlessly -- they don't fit this pattern, this evidence of process -- and Adventure is the same. It's as though you just had a vivid dream, and sort of set your fingers to the keyboard. But knowing that that's not actually what happened -- I have a lot of respect and admiration for this story.

SCORPIUS. In my opinion, his characterization is next to flawless. You GET him, and it's such a pleasure to read!

The acromantulas. The swimming. The bridge. The reminiscing. This story is LOVE. If ambrosia were written into fan fiction, it would be this story. I cannot express my love for it.

AND SO THE MARATHON READ CONTINUES. Printing out chapter 6 and taking it to work with me! (Granted, of course, Dostoevsky doesn't attack my soul. But I'm going to race to read him before work because waiting to read another chapter... Just isn't an option.)



Author's Response: JANE YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE~

Hugo would probably really like a hug but, knowing him, it'd be awkward. Just count this as fair warning.

Also WOWIE WOWOW I don't think I deserve such high praise like WUT being compared to queen rowling? It's true for some scenes they did appear to me like dreams, or visions if we're getting fancy--some images were just alive in me and still are and I was able to write them as I saw them, but you're right, I have gone through and edited this and one of the most amazing things is that when I read back over it, I realize how much of the plot developed without my realization.

I'm so happy you like Scorp-o! He is happy, too, so so happy LA DE LA DE DAAA

also, YAY i'm glad you're reading these chapters after i've edited them :P don't get TOO quick on me, I still have to edit the last two!

thanks as ever for your support and fan-girliness--as you know these things do not go unrewarded :D

(h)


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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll 

7th June 2011:
I hate spiders. gahh.

But this was a fantastic chapter as with all the others. I am on my way out now, so this is a disappointingly short review. I just knew that if I didn't review it now, I'd never get back to it.

Great chapter! Love the three leading men. Anxious to see what's up with the creeptastic spider.

Author's Response: i hate them too. really.

thank you for the review, as always i'm very pleased that you and the characters are getting along so well ;)


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Review #9, by Badger 

23rd March 2011:
First of all, I'm really sorry I'm so late. :/ Fail.

I really loved this story a lot. :) It's definitely refreshing to see something so different. Your sentence structure is very well-developed and runs smoothly with the dialogue, and I saw little to none mistakes, which is fantastic.

At first the constantly changing point-of-views is a little disconcerting, but I actually found that I liked it. You might want to make it a little bit more consistent though in individual sections, so as not to confuse readers. But it's completely up to you. :) Since your writing style itself seems to work fairly well with it, I doubt it'll matter that much.

The characters are awesome. Seeing as we never actually know any of these characters extremely well in canon (and in Hugo and Scorpius' cases, not at all), you're allowed pretty much free-reign with them, which you take advantage of, especially in Hugo's case. It's so new and different to read a main character who ISN'T perfect. You write Hugo's strangeness extremely well too; most people wouldn't be able to. Your dry sense of humour also cracks me up. :P

I was a little confused towards the beginning though, when Hugo has his suit out and wet stuff keeps appearing on it... I didn't realise till later that it was probably just his drool haha. You might want to mention his problem beforehand, because I thought it was some big mystery. I skimmed through the first part to see if it was mentioned, but I couldn't find it. Unless I'm just stupid, in which case ignore me!

I'm can't wait to see where you go with this!

Author's Response: hi!!
that's okay, i was late with my response, too :( thank you so much for the review!
i'm so glad that you like it!! :) i think an author usually hopes that what they write is unique, so i'm glad that it seemed unique (hmm that sounded funny heehe).
sorry for the confusion with POVs, i just really didn't want to label them :/ i could probably try consistent intervals, but i tried in other ways to make it clear that the pov was changing! i'll go back and look over it though :) once all the chapters (there are three-ish more i think) are up on the site, i'll start doing some major edits and keep that in mind! :)
i'm glad that hugo wasn't off-putting. i know for a few readers that it was pretty hard to take because he seemingly has nothing going for him ;) and thank you so much for the compliment! it was a challenge and i knew it starting out so i'm glad that i haven't failed horribly :D
and i'm glad that you appreciate my humour :P i wasn't sure if it was getting across...
hm, i remember that scene well. yep, just his drool! i thought i was doing something cool by creating dramatic irony--you know, where the reader knows something that the characters don't--but i might not have done it very craftily :P i'll see if i can slip in a little something to make it clearer and so that people aren't confused by a big mystery which turns up not to be there!
thank you so much for your review again, i really, really appreciate it!! should be a couple more months worth of writing before this story is finished (i already started contemplating a sequel, ahhh), but i hope that you come back once it's updated! :)


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Review #10, by Kaida_Snape 

18th March 2011:
Interesting story. I like where this is going. The format is good for a novel, or short story. I'm just not a fan of reading such online; but that is the format's fault, not yours. I really liked this story, though I will say I do not like that the classes are not capitalized. I see that you kept with Acromantula being capitalized, so I was a little irked to see classes weren't.

The flow is a little rushed, but not too bad. I have seen published work with worse flow, so I am not too bothered by it.

All in all, a really good story. I'm going to have to come back when there's an update.

Author's Response: thank you! do you mean by classes like "potions" or "herbology"? I guess I didn't capitalise them because in real life classes, you wouldn't capitalise "history" or "maths." I can't remember how JKR does it in the books, but it's probably capital letters since you noticed mine weren't! In going back and editing the story, I'll keep this in mind :)
I will see if there's anything I can do to make the flow seem less rushed, because that can be annoying, I know! I think I wanted it to seem like everything was happening in a "boom" "boom" "boom!" sort of order :) But I'm open to changing it to make it better!
thank you so much for the review! i appreciate it and will definitely keep your comments in mind! i'm glad you liked it despite the little things :) :)


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Review #11, by silverstarletworld89 

17th March 2011:
OMG I HATE SPIDERS, SO (mumbles over 12+ word) KNOWS WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I HAD SEEN THE ACROMANTULA!

Ok I am sorry about the caps but omg, I think I would have wet myself right there. I totally think that I am going to have to prepare myself for the next chapter if there are going to be spiders involved *shudders*. Loved the beginning with the food, LOL. The rest of the story I was just like, they are speaking to an acromantula, OMG they are speaking to an acromantula. I think I would have passed out. =D

Loving the flow of dialogue and how you are introducing everything, I look forward to the update =D. If I see a spider now I think I am going to cry lol and it would be totally your fault =P

Author's Response: hate them as well! i would probably have fainted. realistically.
haha yeah i think it's really brave of them all to talk to the Acromantula! but they're all gryffies for a reason :P us poor Claws would all just collapse in a heap and cry or something :)
i'm so glad that you like it! haha don't cry about it--just be glad that real spiders (of course I mean here Muggle spiders, duh) aren't gigantic! and by, gigantic, i mean Acromantula size :)
thank you so, so much for all the reviews! they've put a giant smile on my face that i'm sure will be a while in coming off :) i was seriously doubtful that anyone but my dad would be able to read all the chapters (haha i send them to him as soon as i'm done with them and he actually reads them all!), so it makes me happy to see that people want to keep up with it!


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Review #12, by justonemorefic 

14th March 2011:
Ahh Scorpius ♥ SUCH A GOOD HEART, DESPITE YOUR UPBRINGING. Reversed discrimination and all that. I love how much you're able to connect to the backstory we're all familiar with. Malfoys of the war, Neville in his time in the DA.

OH TROPICAL PARADISE, I AM JEALOUS.

AND OH MY. ACRO--oh it's good. GOOD AND WISE. YAY. EEE. Seriously, repeat: my childhood. I love those misunderstood creatures of benevolence. And I love how you actually CREATED acromantula lore right there, like a bamf ♥ I love that explanation so much I'm going to consider it canon.

AWWW. SCOR IS THINKING ABOUT ROSE. Hehe. manly stubble.

SUSPENSE! But I know the next chapter is in queue, so I am excite~

Author's Response: haha this made me laugh! :D i'm glad it wasn't annoying to you--i've got the impression that people think he's trying too hard but at least one very important reader likes him. that's all i need :P
i don't know how the stuff happens that i just start making up. seriously, the quidropopot, the acromantula stuff. i think my fingers have secret control over my brain! OH OH canon!? me? i'm so honored!
yes, it's in the queue! don't be too sure about those spidies, though ;)
LOVEE
:) thanks so much for the review! *MORE HUGS!!*


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