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8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ginny45 

31st March 2011:
Hi,
I really did like this as I have not seen an OC piece yet but one thing I have to say is, it is very jumpy. The flow isn't smooth and it is quite distracting.

However, this character has a really good voice and you portray the thoughts of many Hogwarts students at that time effectively through her.

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx
Operation:Green With Envy

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Review #2, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 

30th March 2011:
these OC POVs are great YAY you! Excellent chapter and now off to the next one

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Review #3, by Capella Black 

20th August 2010:
This piece really expresses the confusion that most students must have felt at this point in canon - suddenly the supposed saviour arrives, but still nothing goes as planned, and they don't know how to feel. I like that you've left it to us readers to work out whose viewpoint it's from too, which makes us feel like we're in the loop.

The repeated use of phrases like "she was wrong" and "he was right" really helped drive these points home and strengthen the emotional side of the piece, as we began to feel progressively more sorry for the main character. Just makes me wish the final question of his had used the same imagery, something like "What if he's wrong too?"

Overall a great little one shot, and another unique take on this well written piece of canon.

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Review #4, by melian 

19th August 2010:
That was a lovely story! You really got into the head of a naive eleven year old whose first year of Hogwarts was, um, horrible. I liked how the narrator didn't really know what was going on but kept their hopes up anyway, and the assumption that Harry would make things better was beautifully done. Excellent job here.

cheers, Mel

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Review #5, by DemetersChild 

15th August 2010:
Oh, the first years! I feel so bad for them that they had to start Hogwarts that year. That must've been so terrible.

I really enjoyed your introductory paragraphs. They were full of voice and really showed what it must have been like for the first years.

-Dem-

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Review #6, by Jenna822 

14th August 2010:
This was very well written, but I can't tell who it is. I get that it is a half-blood, but I suppose I just can't put it together in my head who it is. Regardless, it was still intersting. :D --Jenna

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Review #7, by propertyoftheHBP 

14th August 2010:
What an original character to write about--the first year that Michael Corner saved never crossed my mind after they were mentioned, but you made a really nice piece out of him. The first paragraph in the beginning was really strong--the feelings he's going through are almost heartbreaking, but I imagine that a lot of Muggleborns would be feeling that during the war, much less the battle. I liked how it was being told as if we, the reader, were a Muggle ignorant of the wizarding world. It was an interesting perspective. The only thing that confused me was the present/past tenses were both used here, but the changes were fairly minor.

This was a very original idea and written well. I enjoyed it! :)

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Review #8, by ericajen 

14th August 2010:
I liked the vulnerability that came across from the emotions. It was a really powerful thing. The writing is very well done and the execution of your ideas came across perfectly. I really liked it. It's a much different perspective than most stories because of how helpless and vulnerable the character is, but I found that refreshing and fun to read.

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