34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa 

31st December 2014:
I love how close Ron and Ginny were, and their letters were so cute! I especially liked that Ron wanted to write to Ginny about anything their Mum would disapprove of haha.

How annoying of Al to disappear and not tell them what brilliant plan he's come up with! I'd be so annoyed at him keeping me guessing! :p

I'm glad Teddy had at least a little chance to get to know his parents, even if he couldn't interact with them - at least he got to know what they were like and know them from more than just stories told by Harry or Andromeda.

That's such a cool sounding spell. I wonder if it's a similar spell to what makes the Pensieve work, or how Tom Riddle's diary worked with the image becoming real. I'm so excited to see how the letter spell will work! Reading on!

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Review #2, by True Author 

1st November 2012:
Loved this!!! =] I can't wait to see what happens... I always wanted to read what Hogwarts was for Ron; as I sometimes felt sorry for him I don't know why!
Anyways, this was cute. ♥

Author's Response: I'm really glad you like this idea! We don't see much of Ron's perspective from his school days so it was different to write it like that. I don't know why but I agree with you; he's the underloved character but he has so much to offer!! Plus, it allowed me to explore other aspects of their school days and adventures.

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Review #3, by CambAngst 

7th January 2012:
Another brilliant chapter in this very engaging and interesting story! I love the whole concept of the next gen kids being able to get this kind of insight into their parents' adolescence. There are definitely going to be some interesting memories to relive.

The only thing I noticed in this chapter that felt a little weird was Al's dialog when he was explaining Teddy's spell. There was nothing syntactically wrong with it, but it sounded rather formal for a teenager talking to his cousins. It's a small thing, but that's pretty much indicative of how good this chapter is. I couldn't find anything else to even start to criticize.

Very enjoyable story so far! I knew I should have done this one when I tagged you in the Review the Person Above You thread. Now I get my chance!

Author's Response: Hi and so, so sorry for the delay in my response; real life got crazy since I came back from Christmas holidays but, that is (hopefully) behind me now!

I'm glad you think this is original; it's hard to come by these days around here!

The dialogues really are my weak point; with the new year, this is definitly the point I want to improve on. I have no idea why I write so formaly; it's not like I speak like that or anything... I will work on this and try and re-write much of the first year in that sense.

Thanks for sur a great review!


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Review #4, by Manga_girl 

7th January 2012:
Hello,

And another great chapter Akussa! So far, the plot idea is amazing and original. I cannot wait to see what happens next when they get 'inside' the letters if you like. I have never seen the idea before and it certainly sounds exciting to read!

The dialogue between characters is good in this chapter and it has definitely improved from the last. It isn't wooden but flows well and sounds really realistic.

This flows really well. It all leads from one part to another perfectly and the reader really knows what is going on. One thing I could say about flow was when Teddy came in, it got a bit confusing at what exactly was going on and interrupted it slightly but that was explained later on in the chapter so that is fine!

I love your word choice and characterisations, well done! Off to read and review the next chapter,

E x

Author's Response: Hello and thanks so much for this nice review! I'm glad you found this original; we know that can be hard to come by sometimes!

The Teddy does break the flow a little. I'll admit I was trying something different! I am going through an edit right now and I'll definitly check this part, just to make sure people keep reading the explanation after it!

Thanks again for this review, it gives me a lot of confidence to read such niceness :)


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Review #5, by ariellem 

18th December 2011:
Hello again! This story is great! I noticed you had a couple typos, but nothing big and it was still easy to understand. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'll definitly go back and look for typos. It bothers me so much to leave them (and yet I am so bad at finding them in my own work)...

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Review #6, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

2nd December 2011:
Ah! What a neat idea (yup I said neat). I'm really excited to see what they'll see because you have little twists to everything. I would love if you also did maybe a short story collection or just a short story in general of what Teddy saw exactly. Maybe give us some insight on the Maraduars (your take) and Tonks/Remus.

This is a lovely story!

Author's Response: Youhou! I got a "neat" !!!

Thank you so much for this review, I'm so pleased that you like my little twist.

You know, I've been thinking about making that story about Teddy and the Tonks and Remus side of the spell but I want to make it perfect! I'd really need to come up with great letters for Teddy to go through and that's the hard part. I want to make them believable and not just filler. I am definitly looking toward writting it though, sometimes!


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Review #7, by ginerva_molly_weasley 

1st December 2011:
I love how you've portrayed the relationship between Ginny and Ron as so close! It makes a nice change to the sib ling rivalry which is shown in some of the stories.

The whole idea about there being a spell which enables the children to go back in time to see their parents past is amazing! Its such a unique idea but I also think that you've portrayed it quite well with ghiving a plausible reason as to why Teddy perfected the charm.

I'm interested to see the next chapter :D

GinevraMollyPotter

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this!

I find it highly improbable for Ron and Ginny to not have been this close. Ginny was Ron's sibling closest in age, the others being the twins, they already had a close friend and probably pushed Ron away when they were younger (like all older siblings do). Also, Ron being so insecure and scared to be left out, he probably didn't want Ginny to feel left out even though she wasn't in school with them yet.

The spell idea came very naturally. I imagined that Remus (who saw Harry missing and not knowing much about his parents) he would have thought to plan something for his own son, just in case. And having this power? Of course Teddy would search for a way to make this even better; that's what I would have done anyway, in that situation!!

I'm glad you enjoyed thanks!


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Review #8, by Jade Sterling 

17th November 2011:
Oh! This is such an interesting concept! I'm crazy with wanting to know how this works out for them! Super excited! Great concept, IMO!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed! I think the concept is different from what we usually see and I hope you will like it!

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Review #9, by katebabelovesharrypotter 

11th October 2011:
Brilliant! That spell was absolutely genuis! Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review, I appreciate it a lot! I'm glad you liked the spell, it was the tricky part to come up with!!

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Review #10, by gingersnape 

7th August 2011:
YAY for another chapter! And I apologize for my reviews taking so long to get to you! Hehe, this story just took such a wonderful and unexpected turn, so I don't think I will be able to stay away from the next chapter for very long! One thing I did wonder about was if the kids were old enough to do magic in the summer. Maybe I missed that they could, but I was just curious about that. :) Also, I'm quite curious about what Al wanted the charm for last time he asked, but I think the use right now will make for an excellent story! I'll be popping over to Chapter 3 now, so I suppose I'll be in your review box in not too long! :)
gingersnape, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Sorry for the horrible lateness in my respond, I've been kept away from my computer and this place for almost a year!!

Thanks none the less for taking the time to review my story, I'm glad you liked the feeling of it!


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Review #11, by _Leo_ 

4th August 2011:
Ha, I actually reviewed chapter 1 already! I meant to continue, and this is the perfect opportunity :)

Aww, Ron seems adorable from the letters, and I think you captured hm really well. And Rose classifying the letters? Oh, I can see Hermione in her. Well done, I can really see four bored teenagers coming up with somethng like that out of boredom. And I love Al's mischievous side you gave him. The bickering between the siblings seems pretty authentic too.
All in all, a really good chapter :)

Leo (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Hehe, thank you so much for this review!

Sorry about the delay of my answer though, I hadn't seen that there was a new review up (I feel horrible).

Thank you so much for your kind words; I like young Ron; he was such a carefree kid in his mind. Sure he had worries and everything but he opened up easily about them so that makes it easy to write.
As for the children, I had fun creating them and having them interact. I'm glad you liked this chapter and like where this is going (or how it's getting there!).


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Review #12, by Candinoxrush 

20th April 2011:
Oh my! It's like a pensive! I am so SO excited for this, I can't even tell you!
One thing though, aren't they using underage magic by pointing their wands at the letters and saying "Finite?" Just an inconsistency I noticed. Other than that.BRILLIANT. This idea is just so magnificent.
-Candace

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, once again.
Yes, it will work a bit like a pensieve, I think that is an excellent description.
About the underage thing, the way I see it, Teddy casts the spell, they only activate it (meaning that if the magic wasn't activated, the words would have no effect on their own) and it will be explained latter on. Also, remember that they are in a wizarding home so they can technically do underage magic because there is no way to detect with certainty who the caster of the spell is. They could be rebellious enough to work on this loophole too..

Thanks again for the review I'm very touched by your kind words.


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Review #13, by Mintleaf 

12th March 2011:
Hi! Part two of your review! :)

Grammar/Readability:
'Teddy salutes he three bored teenagers,' I think you wanted 'the' (yeah I know that was picky of me but if you are editing anyway!).

Other than that, it's all good except the last sentence sounds a little stilted.

Characterization:
Nothing more to say on this from the last chapter.

Plot/Flow:
I really like your idea! It seems lovely that Remus and Tonks would leave behind something like that. This chapter seems a lot more colloquial and besides the tense issue that I spoke about last time, it's really good! :)

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks so much for being picky, I will check this out immediatly| I'm glad you like the idea and thank you very much for your insight!

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Review #14, by Illuminate 

23rd February 2011:
Hi! Sorry to have taken so damn long with this.

This chapter is very lovely :) Still just picking up on the plot; I like your characterisation of Teddy, and I love the spell idea you created! How useful!

I think you could try and make each character more distictive, give each of them a quirk, as right now they all seem quite similar, like they all have the same voice.

Sorry this review is short, but I really have had my time taken from me. Because of this, I need to cut short my number of reviews to these two. Sorry :( College will do that to you. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for this lovely review.
I see your point on the individuality of the characters and will definitly look into that. I hope through the rest of the story, each of them will find their voices but I will definitly try and help them find it sooner!

No worries about the review lenght, you still took time to not only do it but give me helpfull input and I greatly appreciate it.
Plus I know how college is and only encourage you in persevering; all the energy and time you put in your studies will all be well worth it!

Akussa


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Review #15, by lovelyinsane 

11th February 2011:
lovelyinsane aka sunsetsonforever here with your long awaited review! :)

Wow! That was a great second chapter. :) I really liked the character that you gave Ron... it was very believeable. Something I noticed were that when you use numbers in stories, you generally write the number out. Otherwise, the grammar was really great. Awesome job!

I liked that you changed the setting around a little bit. The fact that they're going "into" the letter makes me want to read on and it keeps me interested! You're doing very well with this story so far & I'm excited to read onto the next chapter! 10/10. :D

~lovelyinsane aka sunsetsonforever

Author's Response: Thanks you so much for your review.
I will definitly check the numbers and change it (I didn't know that particular grammar rule so thanks for pointing it out!).
I hope you enjoy the rest as well!


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Review #16, by magicmuggle01 

4th February 2011:
What a clever author you are. With this new twist with the spell and letters, I cannot wait to get onto the next chapter, and see the results of your work. So 10/10 and on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you once again so very much; I really appreciate it.

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Review #17, by maskedmuggle 

25th January 2011:
Hey! :)
Another great chapter! I really liked this!
The letters were nice.
The spell is a little unusual, but I guess it fits in with the story :P
The only thing about this story is the tense. I would just prefer past tense, I think it would sound much better. :/
Anyway, it's probably too late to change your entire story anyway!
But I did really like this. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Oh, and they were also doing illegal magic right? Cos their underage? I would've thought at least one of them would have mentioned it. Like Hugo, cos he was in Ravenclaw maybe? I don't know though…

Your writing is lovely, and the plot is going at a nice pace! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for this kind review.
Yes, the spell in unusual but it's the best I could come up with considering the first idea was rejected; I hope you can still enjoy the story no matter!
As for the tense of verb, yeah, it is too late to change it. What I am working on though, on the edited version, is making sure I keep it and not go back and forth from past to present. I hope this improvement will make it easier for readers to enjoy.

As for the illegal magic, it will be discuss much later on (because you are right, they did not think about it) only, it will not be considered illegal considering they only activated the spell and Teddy did all the work.

Thanks again for your nice review, I greatly enjoy it.


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Review #18, by TallestTower 

18th January 2011:
Back again for your requested review!
Wow, what a cool twist. I didn't see that coming, it's really interesting.
I thought the character development of the kids is getting along well, I feel like we're slowly getting to know them better. Hugo and Rose's relationship is really sweet.
The characterization of Ron in his letter seemed to be accurate - especially the comment about Molly's food! Maybe he over used the word wicked a little? But otherwise his voice rang true!
One thing I would say is perhaps consider merging this chapter with the first? Though I like the length as it is, as they are both short and kind of introductions I think it would work well that way? Plus the ending for this would be a really good ending for an introduction chapter. But, that's completely up to you.

It's going to be so strange for them to watch their parents but I feel like a lot of excitement is in store!

This is really fun to read and I think it's accesible for lots of people. I think once you have gone through with your Betas and editing the chapters the flow will improve too, as with present tense it can be quite tricky sometimes.

This is a really brilliant story that's easy to love! I hope these reviews will help you, I think I'll be back to review more soon!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for another kind review.
I'm glad you think the characterization is believable.
The 'wicked' thing has been modified in the edited version of this chapter with a nice little comment from the future kids about it; hope it will make it better. It was something I noticed while re-reading the first book and I remember commenting about his overuse of the word which is why this got into the story.

As for the merging of the two first chapters, it's something I am thinking about at the moment. Thanks for adding your opinion to the lot!


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Review #19, by Maybe 

16th January 2011:
Wow, what a neat twist! This is really intriguing.

The concept is great but the flow of the text feels a little awkward to me, so maybe that's something you could work on - make sure you keep the idea as awesome as it is, though! :P I'm loving this idea and it's cute how they all tease each other, quite realistic.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I will definitly try and work on the flow in my later corrected version. Oh and I'm glad you enjoy the kids and found them realistic, I wasn't so sure about that...


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Review #20, by xxpetrapan 

6th January 2011:
That was cute! I like Teddy! Brill Job

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it!

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Review #21, by leaney 

31st December 2010:
Leaney again!

Oh Dearie! This story is amazing, and I'm not just saying that! Generally, I try to give a fair variety of comments on each story while remaining pretty neutral. However, I can't seem to stop reading awe! -takes a breath- I MUST stop fangirling long enough to focus on writing down this review! Okay, to begin, I really feel like the characters are cannon. I feel like you've stayed very true to each of them and they're all portrayed pretty brilliantly. Even Ron's voice in the past feels like it's ringing true! Your subtle humor makes me smile! I especially like the part where Rose comments on how weird Hugo's sorting was (Weirdest. Sorting. Ever.). I have no idea why I found it so amusing, but I could just picture her saying it. I also like the part where Al dismisses Lily at the end for asking what Teddy wouldn't enchant for him. Also, I've noticed that your chapters aren't particularly long. Usually, I find that to be a turn off since it usually leaves me unsatisfied. Your story is different. Your chapters feel like just the right amount and they make me excited to read on to the next! I'm excited that they'll be able to go into the letter! Keep up the good work! No complaints on this chapter for me!

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for this heartfelt fangirl review!! You have no idea how much I loved it!!!
The first two chapters are particularily short, I agree but see, the story wasn't supposed to go like this at all at first but the second chapter was rejected (my idea didn't fit with TOS) so I had to find something else. I think this idea is far better but it gave two short chapters... I'm considering melting the two first chapters together to make a longer one but this is still in question...
Thank you so very much and be certain that I will re-request from you in later times (when the beta-ed version has been approved more like, that way it should be more enjoyable for you!)!


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Review #22, by CuriousCora 

23rd December 2010:
I enjoyed this chapter, but I have to say I think that it and the first chapter would be better maybe meshed into one? I feel like this was sort of a second introduction, which happens at the beginning of stories, it's hard to place the foundation for the rest of the story and still be interesting and engaging.

This was an interesting chapter, and I like that we are introduced more to who the next generation children are as people, and their houses! But I do think it might work better paired with the first chapter, just something to think about!

Also an interesting concept with the spell and the letters, it's almost like a pensive this way. I also like that you give the reader a little closure over the Teddy Lupin/ Orphan thing :/ As that's something that really bothered me in the original books.

Overall I think that the plot progression is really good and I like the unique idea for a story! Points for originality :).

Author's Response: First, thanks for the review and second, you've just gotten me thinking about this possibility.
The reason these two chapters are, er two, was that originally, this wasn't the way I as planning to have the story go but the idea was rejected so I had to figure something else and the first chapter was already posted. But now, maybe you're right, I could possibly put the two together.
I'm glad you like the idea with the letters though, considering how hard it was to find it!!!

Thank you very much for the originally points, I definitly take them and will remember them when I feel down!!


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Review #23, by Brandy Lynn 

25th November 2010:
Kewl twist! I like it. ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks; I hope you like the rest as well!

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Review #24, by presi 

14th November 2010:
umm it would be kind of weird to watch your parents... But let see how this goes!

MEL

Author's Response: Yes it would be weird and it will only get weirder since the kids didn't really get an accurate version of the events! I hope you like what is in store!

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Review #25, by Kerri 

14th November 2010:
Such a good idea for a story,
can't stop smiling :)
Well written! xx

Author's Response: Well thank you! A small yet passionate review that really made me happy!
Thank you so much for this; I hope you will keep on reading and that the next chapters will be up to this standard.


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