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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 

29th March 2011:
Poor Collin i wish he didn't have to die. I love this take on it though.

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Review #2, by Northumbrian 

22nd August 2010:
Colin rescues Lavender.
That is a twist I have not seen before.
Colin always struck me as the eternal optimist, Harry seemed completely unable to upset him, so this dour and battle weary colin came as something of a surprise. That, plus the lack of recognition from Lavender slightly spoiled this story for me. When I'm reading a first person tale I like to have a few clues to help me guess the narrator. Here there were none. I think ythat a few clues would have piqued my Curiosity.
N

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Review #3, by CornishPixie 

21st August 2010:
What a good ending you've given to Colin Creevey! Having this story in First Person was a very good way to keep it mysterious when it comes to trying to figure out who the main character was. I honestly had no idea that it was Colin, even when he did mention his brother. I suppose that I must have momentarily forgotten our favourite photographer.

How sweet that he didn't want to be fighting anymore! I honestly have a hard time seeing Colin as a fighter anyways. When I read in DH that he had died I wondered if he had stayed behind to take pictures, but I believe that he would have done this. He would have saved people. It was lovely to have him save Lavender! This look at Colin's death makes his all the more sad now, when I think about it. And it's not like every other story you might come across where he dies fighting. He was doing something a bit different, and I like the originality.

I'm not sure that the hospital wing would have been open during the battle times. I guess I had just always assumed that all that kind of thing would be going on in the Great Hall since that's where everyone was taking the bodies in DH, but maybe that's my bad for having assumed that. Otherwise, while I don't think I noticed any spelling mistakes, you did tend to jump tenses throughout the story. The first line is a perfect example.

"I watched as the balding man falls at my feet, the life being sucked from his body by a single curse." This should either be, 'I WATCH as the balding man falls at my feet, etc.' or, 'I watched as the balding man fell at my feet, etc.' A readthrough could fix this problem, you just need to decide whether you want this story to be in present or past tense. Other than those fixable things, this story was sweet, and a very enjoyable read. Good work!

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Review #4, by theelderwand 

19th July 2010:
Absolutely brilliant reveal here.

This was very emotional. I thought you caught what was running through his mind exceptionally well. Painful, heartfelt and wonderfully descriptive.

Excellent story.

TEW

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