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20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magnolia_magic 

18th July 2013:
Yep, you guessed it. More squeeing. If I thought the last chapter was precious, it was nothing compared to this first date.

Audrey's nerves were so cute at the beginning. I think you described the feeling well; even though she was looking forward to it, at the same time she really WASN'T looking forward to it at all. I get the whole worrying thing, so that part really spoke to me. But I'm glad she got to see that she'd worried for nothing!

Percy was so sweet here. The part where he complimented her for being nice was just wonderful! It's great to see Audrey meet someone who appreciates and values the traits that define her. And I mean, I know that Vivian and Darcy love her, but teasing would get old after a while. Meanwhile, Percy is the sort of person who would fit well with Audrey's sweetness.

I think a lot of people would be surprised at how normal he seems in this chapter. But I'm glad you're writing him in such a likeable (loveable, let's be honest) way. It really helps lift the stereotype surrounding him. Awesome job, again!

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Review #2, by Dark Whisper 

4th February 2013:
This chapter was so sweet with such an innocent evening. You described her nervousness throughout the day really well. And Percy is so backward, he is just adorable.

Your descriptions and characterizations are actually inspiring, you do it so well and so naturally. It seems you have a wonderful insight to human nature.

Reading on...
Dark Whisper

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Review #3, by patroni 

21st June 2012:
I'm amazed by how your Percy is very much like the Percy from the books ('Lady present!' was brilliant!), but softer and more likeable. And 'likeable' is not a word I'd have associated with him before. :)

I loved this section-

Something unreadable crossed his face before his mouth turned up in a half-smile.
'I really think you must be the nicest person I've ever met.'


The 'something unreadable' could be so many things-shock, surprise, gratitude... We've seen Percy in canon, and seen how people (justifiably) reacted to him, so the sincerity in what he says was almost heart-breaking.

It's been a while since you updated so I hope you'll come back to this. In any case, thank you for a lovely story!

Author's Response: Sorry for the very late reply, but thank you for reading and reviewing! So glad you are enjoying this fic. Writing Percy in a canon but also more likeable way has been a challenge, but I think what allows me to do it is writing from the point of view of someone who has no preconceived notions about him and is giving him a more fair chance (also she just has a forgiving attitude about almost everyone), and it also helps that Percy is older and a little wiser here. I really think of him as a good (though insecure) person who was a little too eager to prove himself and made a lot of bad mistakes.

Updates are coming! Thank you again!


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Review #4, by Sandy 

14th February 2012:
i love this story! audrey reminds me of me because im quiet and i feel like i should be more interesting :D

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you can relate to her. :-)

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Review #5, by Owlpost68 

27th November 2011:
aw :D Now she has someone just as awkward socially to talk to, and now it's no longer very awkward, and yes I realize I say that word a lot, but it's very true :)
I thought it was a great idea to have floos in the pubs! it makes so much sense, you wouldn't want to try apparating that's for sure, you'd splinch yourself. This has to be one of my new favorite stories now :D it's so sweet!

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Review #6, by Pixileanin 

20th August 2010:
Ahh, the self-doubt is so excruciating! You make me feel just as awkward as Audrey must have been. That's crazy. I really like the easy-going nature of this story. It's easy to read, because your flow is like melted butter, but at the same time it has all the crunchy bits that make it interesting and gripping. So she wants to see him again, but she doesn't want him to notice her because then he'd notice her and she doesn't think he will like it when he really notices her. But I bet he already has and she just hasn't caught on yet.

Author's Response: Well, I am super glad to know that, even despite the awkwardness, everything is flowing nicely. The awkwardness makes me feel uneasy sometimes, but it really couldn't be avoided, these two characters being who they are and all.

Thanks for all your wonderful comments!

Melanie


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Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor 

17th August 2010:
Somehow, you have me convinced that Percy is a very good-looking, absolutely fantastic guy. How you did that, I don't know. I don't know if I even want to know, but you did it, and that's brilliant. Buddy Holly does work as a Percy-ish looking guy. Now that image will never get out of my head. :P

It's a fantastic chapter, and I adored reading it. Audrey is so relateable, especially because I'm the same way about talking in RL, and it's strange, but awesome, to see that in a story here. She's very real, and so is Percy.

One day, I may be able to get over your portrayal of Percy, but you'll probably hear me continue squeeing it throughout the rest of this story. Sorry about that. ;)

Author's Response: Hahaha, the first part of your review cracked me up. As for the good-looking part, I have to say, there's never been a doubt in my mind that he is. The Buddy Holly reference just had to be made - those fantastic glasses! I have a theory that Buddy Holly glasses make any dude automatically about 10 times cuter. Fortunately for Percy, Audrey shares my love for total dorks. XD

I'm always concerned about going too overboard and making him into this unrealistically lovable person. But I feel I have a bit of latitude there because the story, after all, is through Audrey's eyes, and she values the things about him that so many other characters find stupid or irritating. It's a much different view of him than through the POV of Harry, who just saw him as his friend's bossy and pretentious older brother.

I'm also very glad to hear you find Audrey relatable. She is really unlike any other character I've written before. Narrating through a quiet, shy, hesitant character...it is certainly a challenging experiment!

Thanks for another great review!

Melanie


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Review #8, by louise_loves_hp 

16th August 2010:
This chapter is really sweet and it just writen really good I am loving the way you have put across the character tarties in Percy and Audrey the ones he knew of him are there and you have really changed him for the better in others, for the changes that would have taken place.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the great review!

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Review #9, by TheDirigiblePlum 

15th August 2010:
"I made a mental note to stop voluntarily highlighting my own swottiness."

Heehee! Good old mental notes! They always get ignored though... :D

I love how softly you're building up their gorgeous little romance! Like how he caught Audrey staring at him and how genuinely interested he is in her and her life and him talking about all the Weasleys! I've always liked how you focus on characters who aren't in the limelight in the books, such as Percy and turn the tables so it's them that we get to learn about. It also means that your stories are really original, because there's more room to play with characters we don't know so much about!

I love Audrey by the way. She shows that being socially inept and quiet can be a beneficial thing because it gets you in with great people like Percy. He was always a bit of a favourite (bypassing his "blip" where he was mean to his family) of mine because he's very funny. I thought so anyway... :)

I am very quickly moving onto the next chapter...

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I always keep in mind, when writing Percy, that in the HP books we see him through Harry's POV. And of course a kid who's three years younger and doesn't care all that much about academics is going to think Percy is a total loser. So I've always thought there was a lot of room to make Percy likable, especially from the perspective of someone like Audrey, who values him for what he is. It's fun trying to balance out his canon traits with all the other stuff I believe is there but was never explored in canon.

I think he's funny too, in his way. I'm trying to give him a bit more of a sense of humor in this novel, because I know he has one, and I'm sure he would have used it a lot more after the war.

Yes, the "blip"...let's just pretend that didn't happen. I like to, anyway. XD

Thanks again for the wonderful review!

Melanie


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Review #10, by Laugharama_llama 

21st July 2010:
Mel this is wonderful!! I'm so glad you're continuing this story!! I really haven't been visiting hpff lately, but seeing that you updated this was such a wonderful surprise! You're amazing!

Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks, Katrina! I'm happy to be updating again! I appreciate the review. :-)

Melanie


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Review #11, by lucekd08 

20th July 2010:
AH! I love it! It's so hard to find a Percy/Audrey Novel. Seriously, this is the only (pretend that's in italics) one! So... I love it, I hope updates are quick... and... I love it! *sigh* I love Percy... and Audrey, and I feel like you do a good job keeping, well, Percy at least, in character (because we've seen so much of him in the books, eh?).

Author's Response: Hey there, and welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far. I don't believe I've ever seen another Percy/Audrey novel either, but I have seen a couple of fabulous one-shots - Jellyman has a great one called "These Golden Days" (if I remember correctly), and FannyPrice is writing a series of lovely one-shots. So if you're as addicted to this ship as I am, go check them out! :-)

Anyway, I plan for updates to be fairly frequent now. This story had an unfortunately long hiatus for awhile, due to real life business, but now I'm back in the swing of things.

I'm glad you think Percy is in character. It's a difficult line to walk, because from Audrey's perspective, she doesn't see him as this uptight loser - add to that the fact that Percy must have changed a bit since the war, and he's not going to be exactly the same Percy we remember from Harry's POV in the books. Also, you may have noticed, he's very fond of Audrey and kind of acts like a nervous teenager around her. A bit different from the guy who can't shut the heck up about things nobody cares to listen to (but don't worry, he still does that on occasion too). :-)

Anyway...I'll stop rambling and just say thank you for the review, and I hope you enjoy the rest when I get to updating!


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Review #12, by rosiemaripotter 

17th July 2010:
You're a really good writer. This story is really interesting. I never thought I would like a story centered on Percy and Audrey, but this story is really interesting and amusing. I like how you're portraying the beginning of their relationship. I look forward to your next update

Rosie :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Percy/Audrey has quickly become one of my favorite ships, even though we know nothing about them from canon. I think Percy is a neglected and misunderstood character, and I sort of made it my goal to make other readers fall in love with him. :-)

An update should be coming soon! Thank you for reviewing.

Melanie


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Review #13, by seeker4u 

12th July 2010:
Oh.My.Gushness.

I love how you make Percy sorta hot instead of geeky.
It takes talent ;]

You're like a magician with the writing stuff

Author's Response: LOL. Definitely hot, but still geeky. I finds geeks adorable, which may explain my love of Percy. (On that note, so does Audrey, which explains HER love of Percy!) :-) But I'm so glad you're liking it. Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #14, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme 

12th July 2010:
Oh my awww + hundreds more w's.

These two are just so absolutely irrefutably perfect, both for each other and as characters.

Just before I forget, my three favourite lines:
- And looked like Buddy Holly, adorable glasses and everything.
- He said it as though it were something valuable.
- "Yeah. Five brothers, one sister."
The latter made my lip wobble just a little bit, the fact that Fred is still included ♥

I maintain what I said about the characters in the last chapter - they are so natural, so real and for Percy, so believable against his canon self. I love them both immeasurably.

This whole story is just the epitome of cute. It's so simple, so pure, so solely romance and I adore it for that. I just love it so, so much and I'm very glad it's been kick-started again. I'd forgotten quite how brilliant it (and you) is (are).

Just...stunning.

xx

Author's Response: Oh, I love that you pointed out those lines. They're some of my favorite as well. I've been waiting forever to make the Buddy Holly comparison. I mean, hello, why are glasses necessarily a bad thing? I'm kind of a sucker for Buddy Holly glasses myself, even if they are a bit of a fad right now (over here anyway).

And YES, Fred is included! So glad you caught that!

Writing romance is a bit stressful for me, because I'm always wondering if it's becoming too sappy or ridiculous or if I'm starting to sound like Stephenie Meyer (eek!) But I'm glad it's working out! Promise me you'll tell me if it's ever not working, so I can fix it! XD

xoxo
Melanie


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Review #15, by SnapesBoggart 

11th July 2010:
Awww! Percy is so adorably awkward. I love him! I love Audrey's personality, I think she and Percy are perfect for each other.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you're liking it.

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Review #16, by momotwins 

11th July 2010:
Okay, Hinkydrunk = best name for a pub EVER.

He said it as though it were something valuable. *dies of squee*

I love how awkward they are, both feeling they're not as valuable as people as they should be, not recognizing their own worth. Ah they're so perfectly suited. LOVE.

Okay when Percy smiles as Audrey talks about her sister, I immediately thought - she is showing him exactly a quality he values. Audrey loves her family and is close with them. After what happened during the war, I think Percy would place a high value on that.

AHAHAHA Percy's reaction to her dad having been a Hit Wizard. I totally cracked up. Love that you put in Percy's Quidditch fandom, too, and his regret that he can't play himself. Brilliant characterization, you pulled an element from canon and added on the logical extrapolation - one I haven't seen a writer mention before about Percy. He must have wished he could play, he likes it so much and all his siblings are talented at it.

It's so cute how Audrey doesn't get how much Percy likes her. I love how uncertain he is, like he can't believe she might actually like him too.

Lovely chapter. I'm so glad you're writing this again!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!

Coming up with wizarding names for places and things is surprisingly difficult. But I do like Hinkydrunk, it makes me giggle.

I think what I like most about these two characters is how little they each realize their own value. I think some people might find that odd for Percy's character, because he appears to think so highly of himself, but I've always thought that he was, at heart, a deeply insecure character who feels like he has to prove something in order to be valuable.

The Hit Wizard thing was just something I found funny. Poor kid. It's the same reaction guys have to learning my dad is a cop. I'm more along the lines of Vivian, though - I always liked using it just to see guys' reactions. :-D

I think people somehow overlook those times in the books when Percy acts like a totally normal human being, i.e. his excitement over Quidditch. And really, how terrible must it be to be the nerd in the family who is the ONLY kid not to play a sport?

Thanks again for the amazing review! I hope to update soon!


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Review #17, by FannyPrice 

11th July 2010:
so, so, so cute. And good. They're perfect, so perfect. Love it.

I know that makes no sense, but really amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you Miranda! xoxo
Melanie


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Review #18, by SnitchSnatcher 

11th July 2010:
It was lovely the first time around, but even better the second.

Seriously, Melanie, I have no idea how you do it. You create these wonderfully believable story lines with characters that we all know and love dearly, somehow managed to simultaneously keep them in character yet add something of your own to them. It's really, truly amazing. An enviable talent if I've ever heard of one.

And yes, I'm aware that while she's canon, no one know's for certain what Audrey's like, but I think that if JKR wrote her, her characterisation would be exactly like yours. She's perfect for Percy - just perfect.

Speaking of Percy, HOW ADORABLE IS HE? I loved the Buddy Holly comparison - really spot on!

Ack! I cannot wait to see where you go with this! Yet another great chapter of a fabulous story!

ILY! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you, Molly! I don't even know what to say! I'm so happy it's working out so far, the story and the characters and all. Sometimes I worry it's not coming out on paper the way it's playing itself out in my head, but for now I'm just glad to be writing it at all!

Next chapter should hopefully be out soon!

ILY too! xoxo
Melanie


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Review #19, by Jellyman 

11th July 2010:
LOVE. Much, much love.

Audrey is so freaking cute that I want to hug her until her eyes popped out. Their date was so awkwardly perfect and AGHHH, I JUST WANT AUDREY TO MEET THE WEASLEYS BECAUSE THEY WILL LOOOVE HER!

Brilliant, my love.
10/10

(Also, I demand you create a character coincidently named Georgia who wins Percy over with her stunning good looks and charms. Or, you know, whatever.)

Author's Response: o.O

You are sounding rather violent in your affections. -protects Audrey from crazy Georgia- No way I'm letting you marry Percy now. XD

Oooh, yes, I cannot wait to get to the meeting-the-family chapter. By my rough estimate at this point, that is about 4 or 5 chapters in the future (I think...maybe). I have some of it written already. Much embarrassment is in store, naturally.

Thank you so so much! ILY!

xoxo
Melanie


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Review #20, by Celestie 

11th July 2010:
MINE MINE MINE

I hope I get first on this chapter!

I love. You already know I feel about most of it, but I adore it. My only complaint was that the chapter went by too quickly and I wanted mooore. Your earlier chapters were like 3k words. XD

Audrey = adorable and realistic. I love how she mentions herself being quiet. I'm normally pretty quiet as well, so it's a very realistic thing to describe oneself as being.

Percy = lovely; his surprise at actually seeing Audrey be there and pay attention to him is so endearing. This story is lovely. Please oh please bring Penny into it. I already told you this, but I want Penny/Percy at least a *little* bit.

But overall, I adore this story. Every Percy/Audrey hereafter will be compared to the high standard this has set in my mind. Post-Hogwarts is actually my favorite era now and this story pretty much epitomizes why; we can see our favorite characters change and grow and heal. Love it.

So, update soon! Otherwise, I will be after you with my cane (of doom) and will whack you until you update!

- Celeste

Author's Response: You did get first review on this chapter, and I am blown away by it!

It really was a short chapter. I tried to make it longer, but it just wasn't going to happen. I figured that since it was really just one scene, it was ok - and I'll do a longer chapter next time.

They are really fun to write, though difficult at times, like in this chapter. They're both acting so shy around each other - how do you write that?? Argh, frustrating. Anyway, I find Percy very cute because, as I envision the situation, he's only had one serious relationship before, and that was Penny, and he hasn't dated a whole lot since then. So I picture him as being very much like a self-conscious teenager throughout the process, at least in the beginning.

You flatter me too much! But thank you! And yes I agree, post-Hogwarts is a great era to explore for that very reason.

-cowers from cane of doom-

Update will be soon! I promise!

xoxo
Melanie


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