18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magnolia_magic 

18th July 2013:
Okay. Excuse me while I squee over all the precious Audrey/Percy that happened in this chapter! You've done such a great job at capturing that kind of awkward, kind of exhilarating feeling of having a crush...even if Audrey doesn't really admit it in this chapter. But Percy sure does! I wasn't expecting him to be the one to make the first move, but I thought it was so sweet when he asked her out in the lift. And when he scolded Ron for cursing in front of a lady. That seemed like just the kind of chivalrous thing Percy would do.

I love that you brought up the difficulty of not-quite-friendships. A lot of fics seem to feature their characters bridging that gap with ease, and I'm glad you took a more realistic approach there. Especially for two people who aren't at their best in social situations; they would need to move a bit more slowly. But I'm glad Percy is being so nice to her; even if Audrey isn't quite catching on, it's so clear to me that he likes her, and I just love it!

Sorry for the gushiness of this review! But the next will probably be much the same :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by Dark Whisper 

4th February 2013:
This is really sweet. Victory Day would be hard on him, indeed. :(

I love how she is so hard on herself, but really, they are so alike. its amusing. I'm glad that he is coming around and finally asked her out for a drink. So sweet.

I loved her reaction to seeing the famous Harry Potter himself. Very cute.

This is a super sweet story written extremely well. Great job.

Dark Whisper

 Report Review

Review #3, by Owlpost68 

27th November 2011:
oh my gosh! so much awkward cuteness is awesome! lol
Yes, I love brainstorming as well, luckily my b/f's become a bit of a hp nut as me, so I can talk to him about ideas for stories without him thinking I'm crazy :) It works out well most of the time. You're doing soo well with this story, I absolutely love it :D great job!

 Report Review

Review #4, by seymlour 

19th November 2011:
Ah, I just love the way you're developing this...
And yay, we got a glimpse of Harry and Ron!
Keep up the good work!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Indigo Seas 

5th September 2010:
Oh, no, first person is definitely wonderful. Like I said earlier: A nice, clear voice. :)

And I LOVE Ron and Harry. Even if I only saw them for an instant, I still love them. I love it when YOU write them. So I want more, OK? More Harry and Ron. :D

Lovely. As always.

Author's Response: Oh good! XD

Hah...Ron and Harry had to make an appearance at some point, right? Considering they work in the same Department. And Ron just has to be crass and embarrass his brother because that's one of the things I love best about him. I promise there will be more Harry and Ron (and other Weasleys!) in the future.

Thank you again for the lovely reviews!


 Report Review

Review #6, by Pixileanin 

20th August 2010:
Whatever issues you were having with first person are certainly not apparent to me. I think you're doing a fantabulous job with this! How you managed with this Percy fellow to be all that he is and then how Audrey sees him is brilliant! The little scene in the elevator where he's already defending her honor, so to speak, is really cute!

Author's Response: It is such a relief to hear that (regarding the first person POV issue). Sometimes I think first person can come off sounding insincere, particularly in a romance. But in a way, I hope it helps the reader connect with Audrey better.

Crafting Percy's character is such a fun process. What I keep in mind, and I hope readers will as well, is that Audrey is going to have a much different reaction to Percy than Harry did (and all we really saw of Percy in the series was from Harry's perspective, which was of course also influenced by Ron's attitude). And Audrey, because of her personality and her nature, values Percy's traits a lot more than other characters do.

I'm glad you liked the elevator scene. I was hoping people would notice that - he may be a bit different then his old self, but there are certain habits and tendencies that will always stick.

Thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor 

17th August 2010:
All I can say is "Aw!" A romantic Percy (and him saying that he fancies bumping into someone the next day is very romantic - for him). It's very sweet how he acts toward Audrey, but it's also very funny because his "sweetness" is probably equal to "normal" for other people. His "lady present" remark was also a perfect combination of "Awww" and hilariousness. It's such a Percy thing to say, if only to boss Ron around.

Anyway, although this is a shorter chapter, it contains a LOT of plot movement and reveals Percy's transition (what else can I call it?). I like your dialogue and your characters and your writing. It's all very pleasant and interesting to read, so I have to continue doing that now. ^_^

Author's Response: Very good observation - him acting like a normal human being is his way of being really nice. XD I'm glad you also liked the "Lady present!" bit. I thought that was kind of funny myself - needed to point out how his demeanor is still very stiff and proper at times. Old habits die hard.

Thanks for the lovely review!!


 Report Review

Review #8, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme 

12th July 2010:
-kicks self HARD for not reading this sooner-

Percy!! Oh I just want to HUG HIM and SQUISH HIM and he is so damn CUTE in his adorable awkardness that it would be impossible for anyone to hold any animosity towards him. I'm fairly sure this would convince any Percy-hater that he is the Weasley to watch. Wonderful, brilliant, fantastically characterised.

Audrey is just such a darling too. She's so sweet and young and so easy to relate to. I love how her character is developing and how her relationship with everyone is playing out at the minute.

The update might have taken a while but it was so, so, so worth it. You've just made me fall in love with Percy/Audrey all over again. This is completely wonderful.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Rachel!

I sometimes worry that making him TOO adorable will be too much at odds with his canon characterization. It's a difficult, fine line to walk. But then again, I feel as though I have some leeway because this is after the war, and therefore he's had some character development, and whenever we saw him in the books it was from the perspective of Harry and, to some extent, the other Weasley kids, who just found him irritating. And you're supposed to find your stuffy older brother irritating, aren't you? I figure he can be a bit adorable in this fic because Audrey is someone who actually appreciates his personality. :-)

Thanks again, Rachel! I appreciate your reviews so much!


 Report Review

Review #9, by FannyPrice 

10th July 2010:
More please!

Percy is so much love in this chapter! I enjoyed it immensely, and loved the small moment between Ron and Harry.

I'm glad youre writing the next chapter!

Author's Response: Is he not adorable?? I loff him.

I liked the opportunity to bring Harry and Ron into it, mainly because I got that reaction from Percy ("lady present!") - and I really enjoyed writing Ron's line, as I find him very amusing when he's crass and oblivious.

Thanks so much, lovely!


 Report Review

Review #10, by You Know Who 

6th July 2010:
Might I add that Percy+Blind Dates will always equal disasters. Don't worry, you are on the right track, even more so If you add them going to WWW.

Author's Response: Oh, yes, I know! However, I'm hoping everyone will be pleased with how this "date" goes (because, as you will see, Audrey is not entirely sure whether it's a date or not). Awkward? A bit. :-)

 Report Review

Review #11, by TheDirigiblePlum 

30th June 2010:
First person really works for this story, because it lets us know what Audrey's thinking, but we never really know about Percy. Makes him seem all enigmatic and mysterious... but sweetly so. :) I always find first person adds a more personal touch to a story, and also as Audrey appears to be quite shy I think using the first person helps us to see the thoughts that she might not say out loud, making her very endearing.

" How exactly were you supposed to act when you werenít perfect strangers but not exactly friends? I hadnít yet worked out the answer to that question, which was why I avoided unnecessary contact altogether ... "

I thought I was the only one with this awful predicament!! I also can't randomly start conversations with people I hardly know. I'm more of a "Hi!" and smile at person I hardly know type person, before quickly scooting off before I say something silly. It's these little things that make me love the way you write characters so much. You put in lovely little insertcharacternamehere-isms, that may not seem a very important personality point at first, but they really help me relate to your characters. It helps me love them! :D Poor Audrey, being loved by me.

I am intrigued as to what happens next! They seem so perfect for each other despite all the awkwardness, which just makes them all the more cute. Possibly even as cute as Ron and Hermione... and from me, that is saying something.

I'm so happy you updated this! I've been waiting for it avidly for ages! And now the next chapter's finally here!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review, and thanks for pointing out all that stuff about the POV. I think that's what drew me to using first person in the first place. :-) So I feel better about it now.

Yeah that predicament is one I think a lot of people have. I sort of wish I could have written it better...it's difficult to explain, you know? But alas. Awkwardness all around, I suppose.

Yes! Ron/Hermione...and Percy/Audrey! -dies from cuteness-

I'm so sorry I kept everyone waiting for an update. I think I should be able to update again this weekend. :-) Thank you again so much.


 Report Review

Review #12, by Jellyman 

29th June 2010:
Melanie, you are a little bit brilliant. Scratch that, even more little! YOU'RE A GENIUS.

PERCYISSOADORABLEANDIWANTTOHUGHIMANDOMGHEASKEDHEROUT! Seriously though, that is perhaps the cutest thing I have ever read - deadset, I was smiling like a fool. This story is such a wonderful example of how brilliantly fluff can be written (and a perfect candidate for first person, I might add!), you should be so proud.

I loved it, please update ASAP :)

Author's Response: Thank you, Georgia!! I so appreciate all of your encouragement and cheerleading for this story.


I was daydreaming about future chapters all day at work, so I'm thinking a new chapter should be forthcoming soon (fingers crossed!)


 Report Review

Review #13, by whacked 

29th June 2010:
This may have been on hiatus, but it still feels familiar when I read it. It's so easy to slip into!

I had this smile on my face that kept on getting bigger and goofier as the chapter progressed. Percy is so adorable, I feel like becoming a fangirl :P Except that ginger men don't do much for me. But I loved this bit -

‚€œI mean‚€¶fancy bumping into me again tomorrow?‚€Ě

That was so unbelievably cute without being sickening. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it - and am always glad to know my writing isn't sickening. :-D (kidding)


 Report Review

Review #14, by Celestie 

28th June 2010:

That is what this story is made of for me. ♥ Melanie, I don't think I've ever reviewed you, which is downright appalling and somewhat illegal considering how much I absolutely adore your writing. The versatility and ease with which you write - from humour to horror to romance - is just stunning. I wish I could write like you!

I've loved this story for ages! And this chapter - THIS reminds me of why I love your writing so much! It flowed so naturally! Not a word of it ever made me question the Audrey/Percy pairing you've set up here. They are just made for each other. :-)

And Percy! Admittedly, I'm more of a Harry fangirl than a Weasley one. And I've never particularly cared much for Percy. But this is starting to change my thoughts! He's so adorable! And when he asked her out - my inner Percy fangirl (the one that has been languishing deep, deep down) squeed all over the place. And Audrey is beautifully realistic and natural and have I said that I love this yet? :P

I'm wondering mostly out of random curiosity: will Penny Clearwater ever play into this?

Update soon, love! I don't think I can stand to wait too long for another chapter considering Percy asked Audrey out! ^___^

Ever your fangirl,

Author's Response: Celeste, ILY so much. Thank you for this amazing review!

I'm so happy to know readers are willing to pick up this story again after I abandoned it for so long, and it has really motivated me to keep on top of it this time.

One of the things I set out to do in this fic, is change the way a lot of readers see Percy. I don't think he's very widely liked by readers (not to mention by the other characters), but hey, SOMEONE fell in love with him, right? I've always found something really appealing about his character, especially after DH, and I enjoy the idea of showing off a better side to him.

And of course you had to go and ask the million dollar question. Ah, Penny. You don't know how many times I've gone back and forth over the idea of bringing her into this fic. The idea is appealing, though I also wondered whether it would be too cliche/obvious/predictable/etc. I do admit, I have been increasingly fascinated with the Percy/Penny ship, and I have my own theories as to why their relationship ended. So the bigger question is, do I want to give Percy a lot of baggage from his relationship with Penny (because lord knows the boy doesn't have enough baggage already, right?)...or do I want to leave his heart more or less free for Audrey? I don't know yet. If you have ideas, I'd love to hear them! :-D

Thanks again, Celeste! I will try to update very soon!


 Report Review

Review #15, by Margravine 

28th June 2010:
melanie melanie I am ever so glad you recovered your muse for this!! It's been one of my favourite stories for EVER and this was a lovely chapter. ADORED every word.

I have a feeling I was supportive of the rewrite, but I think this is working gorgeously; the very fact that you CAN'T see Percy's thoughts, although awkward for you, adds to the charm and allure and makes it more like we're experiencing a relationship rather than reading a story.

I LOVES IT. And Pm me anytime as your HH

Author's Response: Jo, thank you so much for reviewing! I was very excited to complete this chapter, and I think I've got my groove back. XD I plan on doing a bit of writing next week when I have a couple of days off, so hopefully I'll get a few chapters ahead, which would be so helpful.

Agonizing over the rewrite was such a tough decision. But someone said to me one day (and I think you might have said it too) - the story can turn out successful either way, and no matter which way I decided, I'd always wonder how it would have turned out if I took the other option. So I said to heck with it, and just stuck with Audrey's voice. And while there are times when I REALLY wish I could show the reader Percy's thoughts (because I just think he's so darn interesting), I do like the fact that it's a bit mysterious and you only see it through Audrey's perceptions.

Thank you again so much! I'm sure I will be PMing you in the future to bother you and so forth. :-)


 Report Review

Review #16, by laughhard91 

28th June 2010:
So my sister walked into the room just as I read my favorite line of the whole story and broke out into outrageously loud laughter for three minutes straight. "I mean...fancy bumping into me again tomorrow?" That has to be the funniest way that I have ever heard of anyone asking someone out, and that is SO totally Percy. It really was the best moment of this whole story.
I think that you're doing a fabulous job on this story. I am really enjoying the first person perspective. This is the sort of story where you get a real advantage from being right inside of the character's mind, especially as all of us already know quite a bit about Percy. The only advantage writing in third person would give you would be to switch who's telling the story, but from what I can tell, it looks like you can tell an awesome story just from Audrey's perspective, and it makes it much more original and interesting.
As for Audrey herself, I absolutely love her. I think you need someone who's quieter and more low key if they're going to be interested in Percy and take time for him. They have to stop long enough to really see who he is, or else they'll skip over him like his family has a tendancy to do. She's also separate from all messy connections in the Weasley family, so she doesn't have a bunch of bias against how a Weasley should act or him in particular, apart from the workplace. I'm looking forward to the next chapter! I really think that you've got a lot that you could do with this story, and it's a story that really ought to be told, so I'm eager for more!

Author's Response: Thanks for the fantastic and thoughtful review!

I'm glad you liked that line. Tom Hanks (the love of my life) said something like it in a movie once, but the line was delivered much more suavely and casually, so I tweaked it a bit, keeping the same idea. I do think it works for Percy, doesn't it? I find him incredibly adorable and try to make him appear so without being OOC.

I enjoy writing from Audrey's perspective exclusively, which is why I decided to keep it - I enjoy giving my readers a view into her thoughts, considering we know nothing about her from canon. I think first person can be tricky and come off as insincere, but I just hope that Audrey's muted personality helps counter that.

I'm very glad you like Audrey. I can't see anyone else working in a relationship with Percy. If she were as high-strung as him, what a stressful marriage that would be! I always thought she would have to be someone very compassionate and nurturing, who sees the good in people whereas he gets easily irritated. And I did intentionally make her homeschooled because I didn't want her to have any past knowledge of the Weasleys. She's brand new and naive and very introverted, so she doesn't know many people at all, and I kinda love that about her.

Thank you again so much for the review. I hope you decide to keep reading when I get future chapters posted!


 Report Review

Review #17, by SnitchSnatcher 

27th June 2010:

This chapter was amazing! That last scene? The absolute BEST!

Percy is just about the most adorable thing to ever walk the face of this earth, and I love Audrey so so much! I love how we get to see them together; their interaction is just.GAH. It's so die for.

I loved this. I love Percy. I love Audrey. But most importantly, I love you for FINALLY updating this! ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Hahaha. ILY. XD

Adorable. Yes. I tend to think so. It's amazingly difficult to write the interaction between two socially inept people and make it cute without making Percy OOC...but it's immensely fun, and I hope I'm pulling it off. He's not exactly a shy character, but I think it's alright for him to be a little shy around someone he likes, wouldn't you agree?

Thanks for the review and for all the encouragement. And update should come soon, as I plan on doing more work for this over the holiday weekend.


 Report Review

Review #18, by momotwins 

27th June 2010:
AH I'm so happy you are continuing this! I seriously fangirled all over the place when I saw the story pop to the top of my favorites again.

It was so sweet. I was all butterflies in the stomach when he asked her out. I love how calm and placid Audrey is. Percy really needs that as a complement to his own nature, which is more than a little high-strung. I think you've thought up the perfect wife for him. She'll tone him down where he needs it and boost him up where he needs it. Wonderful. Can't wait for more. Don't make me stalk you.

Author's Response: It absolutely MADE MY DAY when I saw this review. I thought to myself, I abandoned this fic for way too long and nobody will be interested in it anymore. XD

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I was trying not to be too cheeseball with the asking-out scene, but I think it came out alright. :-)

I intend to do more work on this very soon, so no stalking will be necessary (though it's nice to know someone would do that if I needed it)! Thanks again!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review