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23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne 

9th August 2011:
At the beginning I thought that it was George that had been killed, but it's just as sad to know that it's George's reaction to Fred :-(
The way you wrote this really gets across how heartbroken and angry George is, it's given me goosebumps and I have tears in my eyes, this is just so heartbreaking to read. What happened in the end? Did he die? Is he back with Fred?
You wrote this so well! The emotions in this were believable and so raw.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

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Review #2, by Debra20 

4th August 2011:
I must say I enjoyed your story a lot!

I particularly loved the difference in the story tone. We have the beginning, where we clearly see Fred and George enjoying themselves immensely while fighting, and then we have the end, after Fred dies, when George is crying and yelling he doesn't want to fight any more.

I might have written the piece in third person, because it still feels that way despite being in first. However, I must commend you on capturing George's feelings very well. It was tearing to see him refuse the reality that his brother has died as Ron and Percy drag his body away.


House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: Gryffindor

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Review #3, by adluvshp 

27th March 2011:
this was so touching, I feel so bad reading this, poor george :(

~AD

Green with envy

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Review #4, by LadyMalfoy23 

27th March 2011:
Falling isnt so bad. That is such a powerful statement in this story. Having George realize the pain of war and how those killing on either side are just as bad as the others added a depth to the story i never would have imagined. His rage seemed so real and it was just very well written. The humor part at the begining set a mood for your story, that was not followed giving me sort of a surprise to the end, but at the same time not only because i have read the books :) Great story.

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Review #5, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 

22nd March 2011:
Very Well Written you know for the record some of the chapters i've read could be turned into short stories or novellas as stand alones

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Review #6, by slytherinchica08 

22nd March 2011:
I really enjoyed how you tied the beginning into the end as well. It was a really interesting piece about George and Fred when George finds out that Fred is dead. I really liked the bit about Fred saying that it was nice change to have molly yelling at someone else rather then them. It made me think about the things we know that they have been yelled at through out the books/movies and I also like the flashback towards the beginning of this as well. Great Job.

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #7, by Ginny45 

22nd March 2011:
Hey.
There is something about last lines in this Collab because they are all so emotional and realy hit the reader.

What I really like is George hunted the Deatheater down and killed him. Although it isn't strictly canon (the Deatheater who caused the wall to come down also died in said wall coming down) it seems like something he would do. It shows that good can get revenge and do everything the "evil" ones do. It reminds me of Hotel Room, 12th Floor. The main theme in that is there is evil in all of us and I think your story really highlights it.

Great Story :)
Ginny45/RandomRed xxx
OPERATION:Green With Envy

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Review #8, by _hedwig_ 

10th October 2010:
This is exactly how I would feel if my little sister died. It would be terrible I couldn't even fathom it. It's awful, thinking about how George felt, how he was so overcome with grief. It's such a good portrayal of his character, but it's so sad.

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Review #9, by scooterbug8515 

22nd August 2010:
Wow, this was interesting, I'm a touch lost whether George dies as well but either way this was well done and it has a nice closing to punctuate everything.

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Review #10, by Galawen 

20th August 2010:
"There is no war. No good and evil. No one can ever win." This is my favourite line in this whole story. Your short, simple statements highlight just how completely pointless and painful war is. No matter who wins, everyone will lose something whether its a loved one or their innocence. I think it perfectly fitting that George is the character you chose to emphasise this. He's lost his twin, his other half and has every right to feel fury at those causing it. But the fact that, that quickly fades into realisation of the futility shows just how deep his grief is. And I especially like the fact that you took George's pain and suffering and turned it away from Fred for a moment, and allowed him to feel sorrow for everyone fighting. Good job :)

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Review #11, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

19th August 2010:
I must say, the last line is very chilling. I had shivers down my spine as I read this piece several of the lines making me wonder about how much Fred's death had affected him. What struck me most was the fact that he actually hunted down a death eater and murdered him, however the remorse he feels for this is so instantaneous and moving that it leaves no question as to where his intentions lie.†

The raw emotion he feels following his brother's death is vey moving and makes you as a reader feel for him, particularly his anger which proves there is more than meets the eye with George. A well written piece! Keep up the good work!

-Ashlee

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Review #12, by Jolly 

18th August 2010:
Okay, so I was a bit confused by this, but I'm guessing it's AU-ish since George doesn't really die or is there when Fred dies.

I liked how the story came sort of full circle with George falling again as he did in the beginning. I also liked the remorse that George felt after having killed someone. I find this very real and believable.

I also liked the way you subtly avoided using a certain not-so-12+-compliant word.

Though I think this was a very good story and the feelings felt very real, I didn't understand that the story was AU until a while in and I was thinking a lot about from who's POV it was and at what point during the battle, so I got a little thrown off.

Anyway, good story! :D
-Johanna

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Review #13, by Amberfire 

15th August 2010:
Fred. :(
I don't want Fred to die. Fred is my favourite character. Why must you kill him off? But I must say you did kill Fred off with much style. I think you captured George's reactions remarkably well. The denial seemed very real. But the violent rage, that was so fabulously written that I could almost imagine George before me. George's despair came out in your writing so fully and so wonderfully. I'm in awe of the feelings you managed to portray in this short piece! Well done :)

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Review #14, by ravenclawwriter 

14th August 2010:
The first paragraph caught my attention immediately and I thought it was good how you picked up the idea of falling again at the end. I'm slightly confused about whether or not you have George dying as well but that doesn't really matter. I though you wrote from George's perspective was perfect and very realistic.

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Review #15, by Drummergirlred 

14th August 2010:
#4.So maybe I'm slow of just really blonde but is this from George's perspective and this is AU and he does too? If that is the case I think this tale is pretty interesting. I enjoy some AU twists. I don't think I'd want to face a Mrs. Weasley with both twins dead though.
Love your last line. I'm a last line lover :) nice job

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Review #16, by music_is_inside_of_me 

2nd July 2010:
This stroy was really good! I loved how much action and emotion there was in the beginning and middle and then it just stops.

The last line is genius :) And the flashback was very realistic. I also liked how George refused to believe it, I think that is very in-character.

Wonderful piece!

musiclover

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Review #17, by melian 

24th June 2010:
Wow. You really captured this moment well, with such intensity. I liked the juxtaposition of the thoughts of how things used to be (eg, the sort of look Fred had when their mother was yelling at someone besides them) with the stark reality of a lifeless Fred just lying there, waiting for someone to drag him away.

I also liked the idea that, once George had killed someone, he was no better than the people who killed Fred. Ignoring the fact that Fred was killed by a wall collapsing on him, it's a very valid point and one that I'm sure that most people fighting in that battle (aside from Death Eaters, of course) would have felt at some point.

My only caution would be that you changed tense a couple of times in this. Keep an eye on that in future fics and you'll have some fantastic stories, I can tell. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #18, by theelderwand 

18th June 2010:
Excellent work. I think you've captured George here perfectly, the disbelief the rage and then the despair.

I really liked this!

TEW

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Review #19, by ericajen 

18th June 2010:
Oh my goodness. How depressing. But beautiful, as well. I love the way you capture his feelings. It's absolutely gorgeous. The pain was incredibly real. My heart was practically breaking just from reading it. You've really wowed me here.

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Review #20, by Drecklin 

17th June 2010:
At first I thought that it was Fred who was the narrator! Of course, thats not the case. Reading this is just so sad. His feelings and rage are almost tangible in this story, and I love the immediate things you had him do- such as killing that death eater. My favorite line in the whole story was: my eyes are lying. For some odd reason that strikes me as just the saddest line in this whole piece. It's just so real, something I think everyone would think if they were in that situation.

Brilliant!

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Review #21, by lilausty 

16th June 2010:
This chapter was really good! the fast flowing of emotions both before and after he realised Fred was dead I thought was very realistic and you definitely had me wincing when the fury took over! well done!

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Review #22, by JLHufflepuff 

15th June 2010:
I love the way you incorporate both heartbreak and humor into this chapter. I enjoyed the flashback with a few extra funny moments between the brothers. I think it was really intriguing (and cool) that he went and killed in the immediate aftermath of what just happened .. but that he freaked out about it in the end and felt relief at being knocked out. A very plausible take on the whole thing.

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Review #23, by blueirony 

15th June 2010:
What I loved about this was the emotions that George went through immediately following Fred's death. That rage that he feels, that is just so indicative of grief and you portrayed his anger so well. But my absolute favourite part? How horrified he is, mere seconds afterwards, at what he has done.

You really humanised the war for me in this. It made me think about how 'good' people can do 'bad' things and it really just made me think.

George's grief in this is so palbable in this. And it made my heart ache at the thought of him losing his twin, but that is a credit to you as a writer, that you could tap into my emotions so well.

Brilliant writing!

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