72 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crimson quill 

14th April 2017:
Capture the Flag - Jailbreak!

So this chapter was so short but you packed quite a bit in here. I guess it's a set up chapter for what to come. I really like the storytelling you've started with the present is being told and the past is where the story is! it really sparked my interest about what as gone on the past. I really want to find out why she is in such a state! I like the characters honesty when she says she did it for herself and admits she's selfish. it's a hard to thing to do admit that, I guess you've portrayed her at rock bottom. it's a credit to you as a writer than you can do so much with so few words but I love it.

Another thing which I really liked from the first half is the way you're describing her tears. it really created some good imagery to set the scene and show emotion.

So, the second half is again really quite emotional. you think after the war people would be so happy but that's not realistic for those people who have lose loved ones. 'my best friend is lying in a box'- it's hits home quite a lot like it's so blunt.

"I believe it is that reason alone that makes crying such an act of courage." - i lovelove this quote. it's so perfect!


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Review #2, by krazyboutharryginny 

14th April 2017:
Hiya Tanya, I'm here for CTF.

I can't believe I've never checked out this story. It's kind of your masterwork, right? It's about dang time I finally got here!

This introduction is everything I've come to expect from you - in other words, it's awesome and you're awesome! You're seriously such a good writer! How do you put words together and make them sound so good?! Teach me! The descriptions of her tears were especially effective; both scenes were very different from each other even though she was crying in both. In the first scene it's this helpless sobbing that happens when everything finally becomes too much, and in the second scene it's the sort of shocked tears that often seem to come with recent grief and not want to stop.

Okay, moving on to the actual contents of the chapter:

This is super effective as an introduction. I like the way the first scene is set several months after the second scene because that really adds to the mystery and intrigue of the first section. What could possibly happened between Fred's death and December to make her feel so horrible, and not only that but to feel like she deserved it?! Must. Read. More. ASAP!

The funeral scene was also extremely well done. Josephine's grief was palpable, and even though she's an OC, someone we've never heard of before, that single scene managed to convince me that she and Fred were very close, which I think is a pretty great accomplishment.

Again, I really must come back and read more of this ASAP!


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Review #3, by looneylizzie 

21st September 2016:

So, I've read this story before - how could I not? - but obviously I'm extremely lame and never reviewed (Shameful, I know). It's been a while since I read it, so it's nice to come back and reread the awesomeness that is Jo's story. :D

Anyway, let me just start by saying that your writing style is fantastic! You've painted such a vivid image of not what Jo is seeing, so much as what she's feeling, and it does an incredible job of bringing all of those emotions to the surface for the reader.

And then there's Jo's voice - I knew from the first time I read this chapter that I'd like her. Despite all of the general suckiness that she's feeling in this chapter, you can tell that there's clearly a lot of depth to her personality - she's clearly devastated and heartbroken, yet there's anger, bitterness and guilt lingering underneath it all - and how she will react to these emotions later in the story are what will really drive her character.

My favorite part is what she says about crying being a sign of strength. I've always been someone who cries over almost anything (I tear up every single time I watch one of those ASPCA animal cruelty commercials...), so I really like the idea of expressing one's emotions being something courageous - there definitely truth to that.

Wonderful start to a wonderful story, Tanya! Keep writing!

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Review #4, by HufflePuff_Blitz 

5th March 2016:
For The HPFF Review-A-Thon!
Tanya! My love! It is finally time for this wonderful moment. And a fine moment it is.

Your introduction was incredibly marvelous! It gave pretty much a basic synopsis of the story and revealed a marvelous insight to our main character. You have done a wonderful job at letting the readers know what the character has done and how she feels but you left it open for multiple interpretations later down the road so I, as a reader am intrigued at what will happen in this story.

I do enjoy the date stamps on these also, as it gives a good sense of time. Because sometimes an author will use the "it has been several months" but it appears as if years had transpired. So giving the date really helps to understand when everything is happening.

The second half of this chapter is really well done also Tanya! It re-established how the character feels, and starts to reveal more information. But you still left just enough details for me to crave a lot more!

I keep asking questions, like: "Fred had a best friend other than George!? How did that happen?" and it's the questions like that (trust me I have many many more) that are prompting me to continue onto the next chapter.

On thing I did have a question about, and it might just be my abysmol grammar skills at work, but we had this sentence: "I stand at his funeral, encased by a sea of mourning friends and family, all dressed in black. Yet, despite the crowds of mourners, I am still alone." and to me it seemed like a change in the tense for the story. because before it was like "I never did celebrate" which sounds like past tense but the sentence I pointed out was in present tense, and it stayed that way. I'm thinking It is just me because looking back now the rest of it is in present tense and it is probably some rule I don't understand. lol.

But overall A+++ Tanta Great first chapter! I really enjoyed it! Cannot wait to continue!

Hugs and Hufflepuffs!

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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 

25th December 2015:
Hello Tanya!

I just wanted to stop by with a little Christmas gift as a thank you for being such an awesome staffer. I've always known that you're incredible, but I've just read Rose's thread on the forums about all the incredible work you've done for us! So this is just a little token of my appreciation!

This story is amazing. I love Fred Weasley. I mean, who didn't sob uncontrollably when he was killed? I'm still sobbing and it's been eight years since the book came out.

Your summary seemed so interesting, I just could not turn away from this. And this prologue is great. There's so much emotion in Josephine's voice. She'd devastated at the funeral. I feel her pain.

I can't wait to read more! Thanks again for everything you do for us Tanya

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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin 

5th December 2015:
Hello, Tanya!
I'm here for your Hot Seat, and because I've heard so much enthusiasm around this story that I was feeling horribly not stopping by sooner... Anyway, I'm here now! :)

Wow, this was such a brilliant incipit! Your writing is so smooth, so beautiful, and the emotions flow so easily and authentically. It's like poetry.

"We are taught and told that tears are for the weak, for those of us not strong enough to keep emotions at bay, but I believe it is that reason alone that makes crying such an act of courage." This sentence particularly touched me, simply because it is so true. I know that there are those moments I really wish to cry and I just don't find in myself the strength to do so... Does it make sense?

Anyway, I loved this. I loved the descriptions, and how well they work with the mood, with the grief. I loved the irony of the shining sun opposed to the darkness of the narrating voice's (Josephine, I guess?) thoughts and feelings. It's just brilliant.

Really, Tanya! Once again you leave me speechless with your incredible talent. I have no words to describe the perfection of this.

I'll be back! :)
Much love and hugs,

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Review #7, by CassiePotter 

4th December 2015:
Hi Tanya! Happy hot seat!
This was such a sad opening chapter! But I'm also really intrigued! I want to know more about the main character and her relationship with Fred. And, of course, I want to know what she lied about and why she started lying in the first place. I'm assuming that it just started out as a little white lie, and then spiraled into bigger lies, but I'll just have to keep reading and see!
I haven't read tons of stories that take place right after the war ends- usually it's been a few years- so I'll be really interested to see how that impacts your characters. The whole Wizarding World is trying to cope with losing people they loved and also rebuild since Voldemort has been defeated.
This was a great introduction to your story, and I'll definitely be back to read more!
Cassie :)

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Review #8, by TreacleTart 

17th September 2015:
Hi Tanya!

I'm making an effort to review all of the stories nominated for a Dobby, so that's how I've finally ended up at your lovely story!

This little prologue here is short, but I felt like it was pretty effective. We've been introduce to your main character, Josephine. We understand a bit of what her dilemma is and we also receive the news that Fred is dead. It leaves me with a lot of questions about what's to come and that's certainly what a good first chapter should do.

I've seen the idea of Fred and/or George having a best friend explored several times and I'm curious to see how your version of it will differentiate from the others. I'm wondering if this will stay cannon compliant and if so how your OC will come to be best friends with Fred.

As far as making me feel something for the OC that you've created, I thought your opening piece was very effective. She's clearly miserable and although the reader doesn't quite know why yet, you can't help but feel sorry for her. Then we find out that Fred is dead and he was her best friend. It makes the sympathy grow and suddenly I find that in a short six hundred words I'm invested in who this person is.

As far as CC goes, I don't have much for this chapter.

Great start! I'm excited to see where this goes.


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Review #9, by nott theodore 

6th August 2015:
Oh, what's this? It's a Lying Josephine written by some person called Tanya? Let's see what this is all about!

This was just a short chapter, but as an introduction to the story it works so incredibly well. I'm just asking so many questions now and I want to keep reading on to find out what's happening - who is this girl (Josephine, I assume)? What has she done? How did she know Fred? Where is she when the chapter and story open and she's standing on her own, crying?

For such a short chapter I'm really amazed by how much you've managed to pack into it, especially in terms of detail and hooks to grab the reader's attention. The opening section has me asking so many questions about Josephine and what she's done - and then you take us back in time, too, which means I know that rather than being the start of the story, the opening is actually more like the end. Or at least, it happens somewhere down the line, because something has happened to cause Josephine so much pain and upset before we see her here, and I'm so intrigued about what that is.

Your description in this was beautiful, too. The word choices just fit so well - there isn't an over-emphasis on description and imagery because so much of this chapter is given over to emotion, but at the same time you manage to strike just the right balance with it, so that I can picture everything so clearly and the words flow really well.

Speaking of the emotion... there was so much of it in this chapter. It was so raw. I could really feel the sadness as I was reading it, and the way that the grief was consuming Josephine and she didn't know what to do - how to think or act or feel. It's such an accurate portrayal of the way that grief affects people. The sun is shining, but it seems so at odds with how she's feeling; she's surrounded by people and yet, at the same time, she feels completely alone, because there's nobody else to reach out to her and make things okay again, because that person was Fred and he's not there any more.

The way that Josephine kind of kept repeating phrases, with subtle changes to what she said, was really effective too. It showed so clearly how confused and overwhelmed she was feeling, and the way that she could only focus on one or two things because they were the only things that seemed real - or were maybe even things that she didn't want to be real. It conveyed her grief and the way that Fred's death has impacted her so well - I don't even know this character yet, but I already want to reach out to her and give her a big hug and say that everything will be okay again.

Josephine is such an interesting protagonist, too! Obviously, she's really affected by grief here, but at the same time, I get the feeling that even in normal circumstances she isn't the sort of person who's loud and opinionated, which a lot of OCs are. I'm so intrigued to find out how she and Fred became friends, since she seems so different to him, and read on and find out more about what's happened/is going to happen!

This was lovely, Tanya! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell 

20th July 2015:
So, with this intro I am definitely intrigued. So, Our Heroine has done something to lose herself all her friends (or her family? Or both?) and is now mourning Fred on top of all that? Had she lost him with everyone else, or did he stick it out with her? And what sort of relationship did they have, really? Obviously she is in no good state, at present. I'm definitely going to have to read on and find out more.

For the House Cup 2015, Slytherin


Author's Response: Woohoo! An intriguing first chapter is definitely something I love to hear! Thank you, Penny! And SO MANY QUESTIONS! Many of which you know now that you've read on, but still! I'm so pleased that chapter one stirred so much up in you and was able to keep you reading!

Thank you for the lovely review! ♥

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Review #11, by TidalDragon 

19th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

AHA! I have finally made it here. Shameful really that it took the Cup, but nevertheless, here I am.

I love the powerful penetrating emotion of this introduction. You use a lot of effective devices here to help tie it to your MC, particularly the tears and the echoed language (with slight tweaks), but what absorbed me into it most of all was the rawness of the description and the simultaneously simplicity of the language you used throughout. So often when authors are seeking to address matters of real gravity we get caught up in our own perceived linguistic superiority and pull us off down a more disconnected pathway than we otherwise would have achieved, but you avoided the trap with aplomb.

Of course, like any excellent intro, you didn't just draw me into that emotion, you drew me into the character by FORCING me to connect with her, but ultimately leaving more questions than answers: (1) who is she, (2) where was she "Today", (3) how did she come to know Fred, (4) what did she mean to him, and (5) why does she keep her distance - why MUST she remain alone?

Of course, some of this is addressed in your summary, but I find it to be the mark of a great story (and particularly a great start) to still make me ask myself those questions despite that fact.


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27 

20th June 2015:
Hi there Tanya!

Happy Ravenclaw House Cup 2015 Review for Staffers Day!!!

I'm so excited that the Amazing Race Game has given me the chance to review all the awesome writers on this site that I never seem to get a chance to review - like you! So, on one hand I'm sorry, but on the other I'm kinda giddy with glee. I've heard so much about this story and this first chapter did not disappoint. It seems like you've bookended the narrator's tale with two emotionally charged scenes. (I'm gonna hazard a guess the narrator is Josephine :) ) I like that you've given us a little background - she was Fred's best friend and feels his loss greatly. For her own personal well being, she feels the need to grieve near him when the others aren't around and so she waits behind the tree. And the first scene is really riveting - making me want to know exactly what she's done to get herself into such a mess. (I might just hazard another guess and say she 'lied'...) Your writing is flawless and flows so nicely. It pulls me into the story! Nice job!

♥ Beth

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Review #13, by SunshineDaisies 

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Hufflepuff

Hello! I'm taking this opportunity to review all of our badger mothers. :)

I've heard a lot about this story, what with all the awards it's won, but I haven't made it over hear to read through it yet. I'm so glad I finally did! The descriptions in this are absolutely gorgeous. I loved Josephine's descriptions of how she thought the weather should be and how it actually was. As far as writing funerals go, I'm a big fan of having the weather be bright and sunny. It seems much more true to life than having rain or thunderstorms. Perhaps it's just my experience, but it seems like funerals tend to take place on otherwise beautiful days. And Josephine's right, it feels like a mockery.

I think this is a brilliant start to an obviously brilliant story, and I am very excited to read more! :)

Puffs for the Cup!

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Review #14, by Roisin 

20th June 2015:

So I actually began reading this a while back, but I suppose I never stopped to review because I am the worst. NO MATTER, HOUSE CUP 2015 GRYFFINDOR

This first chapter is so curious, because, I mean, the whole title is actually very curious. It seems so incongruous for her to be reflecting on having lied about things in the midst of a funeral, and it's pretty much impossible to sort out how those things are connected. I mean, I have to assume at this juncture that they aren't, as Fred's death was sudden and unexpected. But yeah, introducing the theme of lying is a very interesting idea!

I also like how Josephine doesn't strike like a typical female OC. She isn't fiesty or sarcastic, and even her name seems pretty far from the cliche (though I rather love the name Josephine - March, Baker, there are so many good ones!)

Anyway, this is a fantastic opening to a story, and I'm glad I've returned to it :)


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Review #15, by crestwood 

20th June 2015:
Hi Tanya! Finally getting around to checking out this story. I've heard just about every good thing you can hear about a story - about this one, so I'm excited.

What a great first line. The narrative voice of this first chapter is beautiful. I do love stories that begin with commentary that takes place after the events of the story. The narrator is so remorseful that I have to keep reading because I must know what it is that they've done and who they've lied to.

There's an extremely powerful image in not celebrating in the middle of the Great Hall directly after the fall of Voldemort. "My best friend is lying in a box." - I love this quote so much. That one line is better than entire books I've read. The abruptness of this opening chapter definitely worked in its favor. Amazing work. Can't wait to read on.

Slytherin - House Cup 2015 Review

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Review #16, by Joey Tribbiani 

21st May 2015:
Hi Tanya.

This chapter was suitable for somebody of my reading skills, but I will continue on. My friend Chandler says I only like books that star Jack Nicholson so I must prove him wrong.

You did a great job at showing Josephine's emotions in this prologue. Even though it was short, the vivid descriptions of how broken hearted she was and about the way wars can shatter people was very good. I was able to almost feel her pain through all of this. I think you did a great job at striking the balance between her conflicting sides - she was happy the war was over, but devastated at her best friend's death.

I'm interested to know how she goes from May to December and what changes over that period of time and what else could make her feel so upset.

One thing though... did the war end on May 1st or May 2nd? (I'm not very good at history myself! I am a great actor though, so I can give Josephine tips in the future.)

I'm interested to see how this comes along!

Joey Tribbiani

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Review #17, by LadyL8 

26th March 2015:
Hi Tanya. I wasnt around when you guys had the review hot seat thing, so Ive decided to leave 4 reviews for each participant. Its also partly because Im closing in on my 4-year anniversary on HPFF, and I feel like expressing my gratitude to all the wonderful people that have made my time on the site amazing - and you puffs are definitely one of the main reasons for me loving HPFF.

So I know you asked for reviews on chapter 3 and so on, but I really like to do it chronologically. And considering Im leaving 4 reviews, I will eventually review chapter 3 and 4 as well.

Anyway, over to the story. I have to start by expressing my love for your opening line - I suppose I deserved this. It really caught my attention right away. I found myself wondering what had she done? Why would she think she deserved this? What is the this she is talking about? And Im a little envious; because opening lines is something I struggle with myself. But youre apparently really good at it! :)

And I also loved that you flash-forward (or backwards, depending on how you view it). This way of telling a story has really grown on me after watching How To Get Away With Murder, and I think its a different but interesting move. Youd think it would be boring knowing where its heading, but its actually not because you keep asking yourself why they will end up like that. Or in this case, what will to happen to make her think she deserves this whatever this is (if that makes any sense whatsoever) :P

And Josephine has such a great voice and she already seems like a great character. I rarely feel sorry for someone before I know what horrible act theyve committed (I blame law school for that), but I already feel sorry for her. And I think thats because you start the story by showing this vulnerable side to her shes completely alone even when shes surrounded. And the way she keeps repeating that she deserves it I can almost feel her regret for doing whatever she did that was wrong.

I also liked the last line Fred Weasley is lying in a box. Its haunting and powerful it pretty much brings back all the feelings I had when I first read about this death in the books. And its a really good way of ending the prologue.

Im really excited to see where this story will be heading. Obviously Josephine has done something wrong, and I cant wait to see what it is and how it will all turn out. And Im wondering who Josephine is and what her relationship with Fred was (like in more detail). So yeah, I really love the story!

- Lotte
(Oh, and I forgot to say that I really like the flow of the story Its part of what makes the story so enjoyable to read)

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Review #18, by PolyJuice_ 

18th March 2015:
Tanya! It's me!

I've already expressed my love for this story but I'll do it again. :P I absolutely love the way you've developed these characters in a real and completely believable way. The love I have for Jo is incredible. I just want to pick her up and squish and squeeze her until Fred comes back. And maybe even longer than that. Although I'm not sure she'd like me if I did that. :P

The contrast betweem the before and after is a neat set up. I love seeing both in one chapter like that. Especially at the very start where Jo is just meeting Fred in one half, but we later see just how close she's gotten to him, referring to him as he best (and only) friend, despite her earlier apprehension.

Even in such a short chapter you've absolutely captivated me and I already feel like crying, sobbing, whining, whinging, moaning, weeping, screaming, shouting, bawling, whimpering, bleating, snvielling, shrieking, blubbering, howling, exclaiming, lamenting, bemoaning. bewailing, grieving, sniffing, whimpering, caterwauling, screeching, fretting, yelling, deploring, baying, and generally pining.


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Review #19, by alicia and anne 

5th March 2015:
Oh no! I already feel sorry for her!

*cries* Why did Fred die? I don't think that anyone will ever get over that death.

I am so intrigued already on how she is going to get away with this lying and what's going to happen between May and December! I'm so excited right now! So very very excited! :D

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Review #20, by Diogenissa 

25th January 2015:
Oh Tannnyyya! Happy Hufflepuff Hotseat (take-two-but-better-later-than-never)!

I knew I wanted to do this story (and it is currently on my reading list) and I'm glad I did--this was just awesome and I love your portrayal of the twins!

NOW *turns out fingers and wiggles them free*

Powerful opening line--it sets a very nice stage for what is coming and immedately I am made curious as to what she is feeling she is deserving of and then the 'why'. As I continued, I could almost literally FEEL the pain, sorrow, the heaviness of the guilt and the initial numbing shock of Fred's death. It runs an icy shiver up the back.

Jo's testimony and reasoning behind tears is what has truly captured me because not only is she right but tears and mourning are very HUMAN traits and part of the human condition and hence perfectly normal and natural. I love how she lets go.

Tis more than understandable that she feels that way about the sun but the more I read it, the more I had this feeling of 'maybe that's Fred's way of comforting his loved ones'--I could just feel that sort of warmth, not only from the sunlight itself, but also the thought of Fred watching over everyone. :-)

This: 'My best friend is lying in a box' then 'Fred Weasley is lying in a box' at the end--wow just WOW! I don't think this could have ended on any more of a stronger note! Gah just floor me next time! :O

Overall this was just amazing Tanya--I absolutely LOVE your descriptions and how you've set the stage. I also like your versatility with words--you have a great vocabulary and I learned quite a few new ones!

Thank you SO MUCH for a beautiful opening chapter and now I'm on to Chapter 2.

Karen xoxo

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Review #21, by Freda_and_Georgina 

22nd January 2015:
Realized I never reviewed the first two chapters and hopped from them to the thrid and thought "this looks like a good place to review". But I'm here now, and that's what matters. Anyway, this chapter was short but short is good, especially when it ends abruptly. it fills the reader with curiosity and a need to move on. By the way, I was curious and needed to move on after reading this chapter the first time.

You'll see more of me soon!

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Review #22, by TheDoctor 

9th January 2015:
Oh, hello. Yes, sorry--you're probably wondering why I man is now trapped inside of your story. You see, the universe is vast and ridiculous and... Well, I suppose I've crossed into the dimension of fictional universes. Very wibbly wobbly, this spacetime travel business. I was trying to get to Space Alaska to visit an igloo. Never seen an igloo! 900 years in time and space and I never spent the night in an igloo, imagine that.

Anyway, what? Oh yes. Sometimes the least important things lead to the greatest discoveries. Like this story. Here I was, hellbent on an evening in an icy hut, and I end up somewhere so much more brilliant.

I've been called a lot of things--madman, raggedy man, John Smith (imagine)--the worst have been Warrior and Liar. I identify with this narrator. Wars are absurd, terrible things. They never do end just because the fighting stopped. They just keep on going for the people who survive them.

And I have to thank you for writing such a good story. It'd be a shame to get trapped somewhere that didn't have lovely descriptions and language. You're making my stay quite comfortable, even if the subject breaks my hearts.

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Review #23, by magnolia_magic 

3rd January 2015:
Tanya, hi! I've been meaning to come check out this story for AGES now, and I'm finally here! And I'm so glad I was able to stop by for the hot seat this time :)

I know you're looking for feedback on the later chapters of this, but I had to start at the beginning for now, of course. I hope you don't mind another review on this fantastic prologue! I love what you did with the time jump in the middle. Starting off with a flash-forward is a move I really like, because I like a glimpse of where things are headed in a story. But it seems that poor Josephine sort of starts and ends in a similar emotional place in this chapter. The first scene is so intriguing, with what I'm assuming is the aftermath of Josephine's lie blowing up in her face. But it's the second scene that really got me in the feels. You really nailed Josephine's grief here, and the almost out-of-body experience it can feel like to witness a loved one's funeral. I'm so impressed with the way you handled those emotions here.

Josephine has such a great voice, and I'm looking forward to reading on and seeing more from her perspective. She's in a very hopeless place in this chapter, clearly, and I imagine it will be a very long journey to change that. I'm completely on board, Tanya! I hope to come back for the other chapters very soon!


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Review #24, by SecretHoHo 

20th December 2014:
Ho, Ho, Ho!

I absolutely adore the opening line of this chapter - of the story, really. It brings you in immediately and makes you wonder, what on earth could she have done, that was so horrible. What were the lies and the false world she created? I must know! I must read on! You can help but to feel bad for her right from the go. Whatever she did, you know it wasn't malicious from how she states she did it - whatever "it" is - for the good of others as well. Obviously she feels great remorse, the way she completely fell to pieces.

I cannot even begin to describe to you how much I love how you described her emotions at Fred's funeral. It truly is the way you feel when you lose someone close to you. All alone, even though you are surrounded by people. That was stated perfectly.

I do like seeing the aftermath of the war through the eyes of someone other than a main character. It reminds us that there were many people who had lost someone and did not truly get the chance to celebrate. It wasn't only the trio and their family and friends who suffered, but many other witches and wizards. It really was a bitter-sweet moment for a lot of people.

I don't think I've read another line in a fic that has affected me more than, "Fred Weasley is lying in a box." Even all of these years later, that is the character death I have the hardest time with. It certainly the one I least expected out of everyone. It was an extremely powerful line to end the chapter with.

Your writing is really quite beautiful. It flows almost like music and is just such a pleasure to read. I've truly enjoyed this, and other fics of yours that I have read. You are an extremely talented writer and I'm thrilled I've received you for the SS! ♥

Now, the big question... Who ever could I be?

Much Love,
Your Secret Ho Ho :p

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Review #25, by AdinaPuff 

15th December 2014:
Hi, here for the review hot seat!

SUPER sorry right off the bat I can't get to the other chapters--I'm behind on my reviewing for the hot seat, and my mind is fried. But I'm hooked on this so I'll be back and give you a review on the latest chapter ;)

What a depressing chapter. I can feel Josephine's sadness rolling off of her. You did a marvelous job showing her vulnerability in the beginning. Her exposure. So alone. I could feel it. And then the next scene, Fred's funeral, is just as upsetting. The sun's mockery is a wonderful addition to completing the scene. I actually loved that mention. It was perfect.

Sorry this is so short. I loved it. Hope you received some wonderful reviews!


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