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Reading Reviews for Once Defied, Chapter 31: Taken
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Noblevyne 

1st July 2011:
Have skipped a few chapters in my reviewing and will go back as soon as I can - I read them during my lunch break today.

The ending was fantastic - there is no overblown glory here for their first introduction to the war, just fear and all the normal reactions. No heroism. I like that you stay true to your characters and don't put them on pedestals - they have limits, fears and flaws and all of those are carried through in everything they do.

Anyway, I need to find out what happens!

Author's Response: Reading during your lunch break? :D Wow! That's a nice compliment, that someone wanted to spend their break reading my story.

I'm so glad you liked this chapter. Again, my sadistic tendencies with characters are coming out here, but I quite enjoy seeing them fail, or at least stumble. Of course, I'll be equally glad if and when I can see them succeed magnificently, but I like putting them through their paces a bit first. :P For some people, I think it's a bit counter-intuitive to see James or Lily struggling, so it's nice to know that you liked it!

Thanks again!


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Review #2, by Leigh Kelley 

18th June 2011:
Ah! I should be glad that I hadn't read this back when the story was still unfinished, or I would have crumbled from the suspense. This was a very good chapter, and you did a fantastic job with setting up the scene. It was all very creepy, when James was standing there feeling like he was being watched. Then to have a robed figure step out and spells to be hurled, I almost clicked for the next chapter instead of leaving a review. I was that excited to move on. Good sign, yes?

~Leigh

Author's Response: Yes, that is definitely a good sign--a great sign, in fact! I tend to shy away from cliffhangers most of the time, but this certainly seemed like a place that needed one, just to heighten the tension for a bit. Luckily, I think that when I posted this chapter, I had the next one up fairly soon after, so people didn't have to wait TOO long. ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this, and that I managed to achieve the right effect!


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Review #3, by doglover 

9th January 2011:
oh no!!! this is such a cliffhanger!

Author's Response: Good thing there was a next chapter to click to, right? :P I don't like using cliffhangers very often, but I couldn't resist this one.

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by AlPadfootPotter96 

28th December 2010:
Wow, this is INTENSE. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you thought it was "intense"! I definitely meant for it to be, and it's always nice to hear that my intentions matched your feelings about the chapter. :D

Thanks again!


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Review #5, by girly1393 

9th September 2010:
AH! James!

Well, there's not a whole lot of time for it to be resolved, so I hope it all works out.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yes, that was one of the issues I found myself with at the end of the story--I realized I hadn't left myself too much time to wrap it all up. Hopefully it turned out okay, though, especially as there was a sequel afterward!

Thank you!


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Review #6, by C A L M 

24th April 2010:
Silly me I forgot to even read this chapter before I read chapter 32 lol we will just put that down to baby brain shall we. Anyway this chapter is great, perfect grammar and nicely spaced paragraphs. I do especially like how you have made Lily and James so normal but I think I have already congratulated you on that once before. You see on some fanfictions that they make them out to be like heros and gods or something but in the books JK sort of described them to be normal, good hearted but also brave lol well that's the impression I got anyway. But I especially love the way you have described James and especially Lily, she's my favourite character ever :).

10/10

Author's Response: Haha, oh, well, don't worry! Hopefully chapter 32 didn't seem too out-of-the-blue without this one before it. :P

I certainly think both Lily and James were heroic, but they were heroic in the way that normal, everyday people are when they show bravery--exactly the same impression as you have! :) I'm so glad that you think I've managed to portray them that way, and that you like their characterization in general. It's something that's very important to me as I'm writing, so it feels great to get positive feedback!

Thank you again!


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Review #7, by phoenixtear21 

21st April 2010:
Ooh, a cliffe! I can't wait for another chapter!

James and Lily are such a cute couple and I just love how you write them. They are characterized so well!

For some reason I always thought that James at least was an Auror from the other HP books, but I think that the Order of the Phoenix is a good idea as well.

Update soon!
-phoenix tear

Author's Response: Hi there, phoenix tear! Thank you so much for taking the time to review. :)

I hardly ever write cliffhangers, but I just couldn't resist here. At least it seems to have had the right effect, considering that you're looking forward to the next chapter!

I'm so happy to hear that you like the way I write Lily and James. I've ended up putting a great deal of thought into them as characters over the course of writing this story, so to know that you think I did a good job is wonderful. :)

James' career is unknown. It was never stated in the books, and JKR has never given us a statement about what it was that he did. However, she has said in an interview that "James inherited plenty of money, so he didn't need a well-paid profession." I suppose you can either interpret this as he didn't have a job at all, and spent all of his time working for the Order, or that perhaps he was employed at some lower-level job just to have a small paycheque coming in. Either way, I think that quote definitely excludes him becoming an Auror, because I would assume that it would fall into the category of a "well-paid profession". And it is true what he says in this chapter--in many ways, I think being in the Order would have been quite similar to being an Auror, only you get out into the fray much sooner.

Anyway, I will be updating either tomorrow or the next day, depending when I get the next chapter finished up! Thanks again!


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Review #8, by Somebody 

20th April 2010:
Like i said in my previous review for chapter 30...WHAT A CLIFFHANGER! You mean I have to wait to find out what happens!?!? Ha ha just playing! I loved this chapter! First James' suspicions about Dumbledore have been confirmed, not really a shocker there if you've read Harry Potter, what I'm waiting to find out is what's wrong with James' dad. Oh the torture! I was really sad about them leaving Hogwarts but now I kind of excited to see what happens, Harry Potter fans will actually get a taste of life after Hogwarts for students that they didn't get to experience while reading Harry Potter! Also the mysterious "work" that Dearborn mentioned promises to bring new found excitement in to the upcoming chapters! I think Lily's indecisiveness about whether to except the offer or not shows how much she cares about James. Even though it seems she really doesn't want to take the job, she "basically" decided to take it anyway b/c her desire to stay with James overrules everything else. Which brings me to my next point, James and Lily's relationship is really getting serious. I think it's kind of strange though how James is really unsure still of how Lily feels about him, although I'm guessing that has something to do with the fact we read part of the story from Lily's point of view where she's gaga over James but apparently good at hiding it since James feels she has the "upper hand". I guess it does make since though that he's still unsure since she's disliked him for much longer than she's liked him. The scene of action at the end of this chapter was exciting! As much as I love what your doing with the story, there had to be some action right? I'm a little disappointed at James' inability to defend himself, but I think it's reasonable since he was unprepared and taken by complete surprise. Lily came back to help, and based on how she was talking to the stranger I have suspicions that it was Snape since he lives nearby. And I hope that it was Lily he was Apparating with since it said "small, soft hand"
A few things I forgot and left out in previous review for Chap. 30:
That really stinks about Anna and Mary! It felt like even more sadness on top of the fact they were leaving Hogwarts, it made it feel like everything was changing, which it kind of is. But then maybe it's for the best, you left the Chapter with a feeling that Anna and Lily would continue their friendship, which I'd prefer to Mary, I always liked Anna better b/c she was funny and not afraid to express her opinion nor did she care what other people thought. Mary on the other hand is very secretive and defensive about things. Like the chapter said "For The Best" I suppose.

Author's Response: Wow, there's so much to comment on in this review! (Which is a great thing, of course! I'm sure you know by now how much I love to talk about my story.)

I'll start with your Chapter Thirty comments: yes, it's definitely unfortunate that things have turned out this way between the three girls. I think you're very much right in singling out the idea of it being "for the best", because that's how I see it, too (as you guessed from the chapter title). I've seen for quite some time that Mary's personality did not really mesh well with Lily's or Anna's, and I do truly believe that it's better that Lily and Anna stick together--at least they're more on the same page. It goes for Mary, too, who needs to find people who are on the same page as HER. But we'll definitely see both Mary and Anna in the sequel(s), so this isn't the last on them. :)

All right, on to the cliff hanger! I'm sorry! :P It really did seem to be so effective to end it there, so I just couldn't resist. I won't confirm or deny your suspicions about what was really going on, but I do hope that you enjoy finding out what happens in the next chapter!

I'm very happy to hear that you're looking forward to reading about what Lily and James' lives are like after Hogwarts--I know most stories tend to stop at the end of their seventh year, but the part of their lives that's REALLY interesting to me is what they do after Hogwarts. On the one hand, it's like you said that much of it isn't a surprise if you've read the books, but there are a lot of blanks that I'm hoping to fill in. :)

As for James and Lily, you've hit the nail on the head with the issue of perspective. James feels uncertain because he's liked Lily for so much longer, and because Lily isn't really vocalizing any of these strong feelings she's having. After all, they haven't been dating for a really long time yet, so I think she would worry about seeming too serious too soon. So James isn't quite sure where she's at, even though we know what her feelings are. But I think James will come to more of an understanding as time passes, so don't worry about that. ;)

I think James wasn't good at defending himself because, quite frankly, he was scared. Like you said, he was completely taken by surprise, and at this point, he hasn't had much experience with duelling beyond open confrontations with his fellow students. This was a very different situation, and he sort of panicked and floundered. It's hard to remember sometimes that he's only eighteen! :)

Anyway, thank you for such a great review, and I should have the next chapter (which is nearing completion) up by the end of the week!


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Review #9, by darkscorpia 

20th April 2010:
I can't wait for the next chapter. And I love how it's Lily who saved James.

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so glad you're looking forward to reading the next chapter...that means I definitely must have done something right in this one, too! :P

Without giving anything away, I should say that there was a specific reason why it couldn't have been James saving Lily...but still, I completely agree with you. It's pretty cool to turn the damsel-in-distress stereotype on its head. :)

Thanks so much for the review! I'll have the next chapter up before the end of the week.


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Review #10, by allie_0608 

19th April 2010:
Oh wow!!
I can't wait till more chapters!!

Author's Response: Hi again! I'm glad your reaction was "Oh wow!!" :) Surprise is definitely a good thing when it comes to this chapter. And it shouldn't be too long before the next chapter is posted...before the end of the week, I'll have it up. It's mostly written already, so I just need to finish it off. :)

Thank you for all the reviews (and for being review #400!! WOO!), and I hope you enjoy that next chapter. :)


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Review #11, by saffy 

18th April 2010:
Hi there

oh my goodness gracious! what a chapter!!!

I absolutely loved the sequence at the end where you describe james' panic and the spells being cast at him, the emotions and your style of writing was just perfect. You really built up the suspense and fear. In case you couldnt tell i loved it:)

As a side not i agree with Dearborn exam results sound be given out sooner !

Cant wait for the next chapter im dying to know whats going to happen next !!! Thanks :)

Author's Response: Hello! :) I'm so glad that you liked the chapter--THRILLED that you thought I wrote it well and built up the suspense and fear. It's not always my strong point, these kinds of scary action scenes, but this one (and what follows) seemed to flow easier than usual. And on top of that, to get compliments from you is just wonderful. :)

Haha, yes, grades should come out sooner! I'm already waiting on mine from this term...as soon as it's been a week since an exam I start getting impatient and checking my university's website. :P

I should have the next chapter up somewhere in the area of about 3-5 days now, so not very long at all to wait! I hope you enjoy reading it when I do post it.

Thank you for reviewing, as you always do. :)


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Review #12, by Tonks101 

17th April 2010:
Wow ! Can't wait to see who it is!


My chapter is up!!

Author's Response: Hi again! Glad you're excited by the turn of events. :) I should have the next chapter up later this week, so you won't have to wait too long to find out...

Congratulations on getting your first chapter up; that's fantastic! I'll try my best to go check it out once I'm finished up with exams. You should join the forums! I know when I was starting out it was such a wonderful place to be able to go ask for reviews and story help... :)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #13, by funfanfic 

17th April 2010:
plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz write more! at least one more chapter that resolves this whole thing!

Author's Response: Hmmm, do you think I should? Write more, I mean. :P

Kidding! Of course I'm going to write at least one more chapter; I wouldn't leave it at THAT horrible of a cliffhanger on the last chapter. At this point I think there may actually be one more full-size chapter and then one last one that is about half the size of usual or less. Every single detail may not get resolved, but you should have the big pieces of the picture, at the very least. :)

I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #14, by technicolor 

17th April 2010:
Aaaah oh my god I am literally on the edge of my seat!

Well, perhaps not literally since I'm sitting on my bed as I read this... But it's definitely an unexpected twist and I'm just glad you're a fast updater! The last scene was so exciting. When James was standing there I knew something was about to happen... OK maybe you prefer us not to speculate but I will anyway. At first I thought the hooded man must be Snape since he lives around the corner, but then that wouldn't make sense with the warning he tried to give Lily... Would it? Although the man didn't come for Lily probably; my guess is he's trying to recruit James as a pureblood. Aaaack anyway I'm sorry if I'm giving it all away already, I hope not, but whatever it is I can't wait for the next chapter! It'll also be awesome to see Lily and James' love for each other tested somehow... Ooh and lastly, really liked that James was reflecting on the power imbalance in their relationship. Most couples tend to have that... So it'll be nice to see how you have Lily even that out somehow.

Anywhoo, lovely chapter as always.. After your last chapter I'll leave you a longer review with some constructive criticism/ suggestions for your sequel as you asked, I'm sure it'll be great as your writing has only gotten better!

Sophie

Author's Response: Oooh, yay, I made things all suspenseful! :) Haha. But seriously, that's fantastic, because I always feel like I fail epically at doing that.

I don't mind speculations at all! It's so neat to read what you think is going to happen and then see how much it matches up or doesn't match up with what's really going on. Of course, I won't confirm or deny anything, because I don't want to ruin things for you before the next chapter. :) I hope very much that it all lives up to your excitement, though!

I'm glad you liked that comment on the power imbalance. It was something I hadn't really realized myself before this chapter, but then when I did, it was like, "Well, of course!" Because James has liked Lily for so much longer, and has been much more vocal about his feelings than her. Whereas she's had years to grow used to how he feels about her, for him it's new and feels less stable. Poor James! But you're right, it happens in almost every relationship, and this definitely won't be the only time it's brought up!

I'm so glad you liked the chapter, and I look forward to whatever suggestions you might have for me at the end! I'm sure there are many, many ways that I could improve, and I definitely want to do that. :)

Next chapter should be up middle or end of next week...and at this point I'm pretty sure there will also be one last one following that. Don't quote me, though! :P

Thanks again for a great review, Sophie!


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Review #15, by applecrumble 

16th April 2010:
That was BRILLIANT!

I love the uncertainty that Lily feels in this chapter. I'm used to everyone knowing exactly what they want to do before school leaves, and it's so much more interesting when Lily doesn't have a clue!

I also love the way that James doesn't feel completely secure in his relationship with Lily :). I doubt he could, after waiting so many years for her I think he'd have difficulty believing she loved him.

...and the attack. Oh my goodness it was perfect! I love this bit:
'All his imagined scenarios in which he was some kind of heroic dueller were shattered; his only thought was to run, and fast.'

I find it hard to get really concerned about a character when they're duelling perfectly and acting in general like a hero. James's reaction to the situation was realistic and made me feel terrified because he was.

Loved it, but the cliff hanger is evil!

Author's Response: Really? You thought it was good? :D

Phew.

As much as I personally liked this chapter, I couldn't help feeling a bit nervous when I put it out there for everyone to read. I was worried that it might come out of nowhere, that it might not fit with the rest of the tone of the story, that I just might not have written it very well...so this review (in addition to all the others so far) just makes me feel so wonderful! :)

Figuring out your life is not an easy thing to do. I think a good half of the people who leave high school thinking, "That's where I'm heading," end up in a completely different place than they expected five years on. There's only so much you can predict. And to ask people to try and make those decisions at 17 or 18 is a lot to ask. Some people don't really know--I know I really only had a vague idea. For some reason I picture Lily like that. Whenever I read about her having this absolute determination to do one job, it just doesn't sit right with me for some reason.

I'm glad you like the dynamic between James and Lily, too. After all those years, I can't imagine that James wouldn't be a little insecure or uncertain about Lily's feelings--mostly because he's been so much more forthright and vocal about his feelings for the entire time.

Yes, yes, yes, that was EXACTLY what I was hoping people would feel about the attack and James' lack of duelling skills. He was certainly talented and smart, and obviously had practice with hexing other people, but this was such a different situation that I couldn't imagine him leaping into action in some heroic way. He's never been faced with something like this before, so of course his first instinct was to run out of there.

Sorry about the cliff hanger! I don't usually do them, but it seemed to fit so well here. The next chapter is mostly written up already, though, so I won't make you wait for too long. :)

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #16, by archi kabiraj 

15th April 2010:
you're a fabulous writer...please update soon.

Author's Response: Who, me? :P You're much too kind, really. Fabulous, I'm not, though I really appreciate the compliment!

New chapter should be up in a week...I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by redhead1287 

15th April 2010:
Ah!! I literally get so excited whenever I see that a new chapter of this story has been posted!! This is getting intense... I feel that the story as a whole has grown with Lily and James which I love. They have matured, and so has the story-- I also like how you have woven the dark part of the story in throughout and it wasn't just a day and night transition, but a much more normal progression as they become older and more knowledgeable of the world. :)

Absolutely fantastic. And Lily came after him!! I mean, I knew she would, but she is just awesome. She will save him, I have no doubt.

Author's Response: Hi again! It makes me so happy to hear that new chapters are exciting for you. :) And for me, reading new reviews is incredibly exciting, so thank you!

I'm so thrilled that you found that there's been a parallel between the story and James and Lily's growth. That was always one of my intentions: to show their priorities really shift and mature over the course of the story. And it's such a relief to hear that you think the darker bits led up to this well...I have to admit that I was a bit worried that the end of the chapter would come out of nowhere and seem unrealistic, but I hoped that wouldn't be the case! :)

And yes, Lily came after him. I kind of wish I could have written that half of the chapter from her POV (and did, at first), but it didn't work quite as well as using James' for that scene. Anyway, she came after him, though I will say that she may not have known what exactly she was getting herself into...

But I'll leave the rest for the next chapter. :) I'm so glad you liked it, and I should have the next chapter up in about a week. Thanks again!


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Review #18, by SeVeRuS LoVeR 

15th April 2010:
Oh wow I wasn't expecting tht haha DRAMA haha :PP hmmm well with only a few chapters left it'll be interesting to see how this is resolved :DD

I'm very happy to hear tht a sequel WILL be made :)) I like this story a bunch and I'm glad it will continue!!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing!

Ooh, I'm glad I caught you by surprise at the end there. :) I always struggle a bit with action scenes, so it's good to know I made it somewhat exciting. :)

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure about how well I'm going to be able to wrap this all up in a few chapters--I mean, I know I CAN, because I've already written most of the next chapter, but I worry that only a few chapters might make it seem really abrupt. :/ Anyway, let me know what you think once you've read through to the end!

Aww, I'm so happy you're looking forward to the sequel. :) I think there's a lot more exciting and wonderful (and, okay, really tragic) story to be told with these characters, and I do very much hope that I can do it some sort of justice. It's great to know even now that I'll have you as a reader when I get it started up!

Thank you again, and the next chapter should be up in a week!


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Review #19, by NATAliEisBAx14 

15th April 2010:
CLIFF HANGER?
how dare you. haha the hang part of hanger reminded me of the hangover and I wanted to say that some guys just can't handle vegas. My spanish teacher's middle name's Carlos. He told us during a test and I shouted "NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS!" thank GOD he hadn't seen that movie.
:)

So today I'm addicted to Bones. I swear to god I think I have track marks from shooting whatever is so addicting about that show into me. Either way, every single fan must be sharing the same hypodermic needle because we've all got the Bones disease. I think it's on crack. Maybe there are subliminal messages. Either way it's getting so frustrating because Booth and Bones have been doing this stupid little mating dance for five whole seasons and this season's coming to an end and it's kinda in a crappy frustrating place and I feel annoyed because I just want it to happen already so I can stop feeling like an addict and stop trying to find AA meetings or some support group.

ROAR. If only Booth wasn't such a hottie then I would be fine. Men give me problems sometimes.
:) But either way thanks to you Canadians I can watch it online before it airs in the US because it airs there on Wednesday not Thursday and people free stream it. So thanks Canada. You make my somewhat illegal activity possible.

Anyway this was tubular dude. Totes my goats awesome. EVEN THOUGH YOU PULLED A BONES AND CLIFF HUNG ME.


Hey thanks for writing a sequel to this because who else is going to get my reviews? It takes me a while to come up with reviews like this and who else deserves them? I don't want them to go to waste or anything so you have to write a sequel and a third one and go stephanie meyer and write a fourth even if it's bad! I hate her she's such a bad author.


man some guys cannot handle VEGAS!



:)
byebye

Author's Response: Hahaha, hi, Natalie--another epic review here, I see. :P

First off: yes, CLIFFHANGER. I don't particularly like writing them, to be honest. It seemed to fit very well here, and I wouldn't choose to end the chapter another way, but way more often I preferred having the end of a chapter be this neatly tied-up...er...thing. Not sure where I was going with that. But anyway, most of the next chapter is written, so I won't keep you waiting for like a month before you find out what happens. I'll probably post the new chapter in a week. :)

Yes, not a big fan of the Meyer here, either, but I do have a plan of four parts in total to this series of stories. I've never read Breaking Dawn, but I would hope that I can avoid writing a final book so horrible as that. At the very least, you can rest assured that James and Lily don't name their child Renesmee. Anyway, I would LOVE it if you came back and continued to review. :) You always have such funny and amusing things to say, and I feel very special that you spend so much time on them for me!

You know, I've only watched Bones once or twice, but I'm a fan of Buffy, so I quite like that David Boreanaz (sp?) guy who plays...Booth, is it? I know Bones is the girl. I'm actually horrifically addicted to TV on the internet, it's basically how I spend my entire day, watching re-runs of old shows and new episodes of other ones. And you're so lucky that you get the episodes of a show you like in advance! The problem here is half the streaming websites you go to are like, "Sorry, we don't stream outside of the US." It's very unfair. But I'm glad Canada is helping you out! ;)

All right then...thank you once again for a lovely review! I've been checking really horribly obsessively ever since I posted the chapter, so it was so exciting to see a review. Talk to you next time! :)


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Review #20, by inama_a77 

15th April 2010:
omg the ending was soo good! update soon!

Author's Response: Hello! (I feel like a nerd for responding to a review 10 seconds after it's posted, but oh well. I'm here, might as well.)

Anyway, I'm glad you like the ending despite it being a cliffhanger...or perhaps BECAUSE it was a cliffhanger. :P Most of the next chapter is already written, so I hope to post it in about 7 days.

Thanks so much for reviewing! I was kind of nervous about this chapter for some reason, so I'm glad the first review was a positive one. :)


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