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48 Reviews Found

Review #1, by twitchy_pigeons 

9th February 2015:
ďProbably just as well, though, because I might have killed him otherwise. I donít particularly want to spend my life in Azkaban.Ē

That was cruel. :(

Author's Response: Yes I know. Sorry about that. Had to throw it in, though. :)

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

8th July 2014:
Is it really bad to say that I laughed at the first part of this chapter, when Sirius was caught 'Muggle duelling' with Snape? I really felt like Snape deserved what he got for saying all of those horrible things about Laura, and to be honest, it was in character for Sirius to punch him since we know that he's both protective and doesn't have the most even temper. I'm glad that Laura recovered okay but also that you wrote the recovery as something which took some time, because it's so easy to pretend everything's solved easily with magic. The Slytherins are so horrible to Laura unnecessarily though!

I liked the conversation with Remus when Laura learnt about the fact that Sirius is changing more under her influence than anyone other's. It was so cute to hear a friend saying something like that to her but not being annoyed at the change that's taken place. And then the part towards the end when Sirius tells Laura she'll be a Black one day anyway! ♥ That was just so adorable, and especially how embarrassed he was after he'd said it. But now I'm a bit worried, because we know he didn't marry, and then there are only a few chapters left...

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, I liked the Muggle fighting thing too. Can't you just see it though? Besides, if James took his wand off him, what else could he have done? :D

The recovery took a while because magical injuries are harder to treat than mundane ones, which is why the scarring is going to be permanent, for example. ANd if they can't close the wound, of course she's going to need a stack of blood replenishing potions, isn't she?

And yes, foreshadowing. You picked up on that one. Well done! :)

cheers Mel


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Review #3, by Olga 

16th January 2013:
Awesome awesome awesome chapter:-) and i like the sirius wouldnt want to end up in azkaban forshadowing bit

Author's Response: Thanks! I did wonder at that bit, but people seem to like it so I'm glad I kept it in.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by NimbusAuror 

3rd January 2013:
Hi there! First of all, I've just finished your whole story and I think it's amazing. I discovered it 2 days ago, wanting something new to read, and I just couldn't stop reading. Which is quite unfortunate since I have finals in a week, so I'll have to blame you if I fail them! Anyway, I happen to be called Laura (you've probably heard this a million times, right?) so I was very enthusiastic from the beginning, and while I read it it also happenend to be a great story!

What I love about it is your descriptions about the daily life at Hogwarts. It's very like how I'd imagine it to be. Your version of Hogwarts is like an extension of Rowling's version to me, rather than a different version of it like in most fanfictions. So I hope you take this as a compliment. Personally I also like it that I can recognise a lot of myself in Laura, but I guess that can go for a lot of people. Still, it's nice to read something you can relate to.

I think you did very well with starting your story at their 5th year. I like it when stories take some time to develop, with a lot of details. It was one of the things I enjoyed the most in the Harry Potter books; the daily conversations, lessons and atmosphere at Hogwarts. And I have got to say, some chapters of HTM had me weeping like crazy. Which I must add, almost never happens. Ever. I think it has something to do with it all being so realistic, the characters and how they behave. Anyway, I absolutely loved your story, thank you so much for sharing it!

Laura

PS: I don't get how people think Mary's accent is so hard to understand or annoying. I think you did well, although I'm not Scottish or English even so I can't know how accurate it is. But I never got the feeling that I didn't understand what she was saying, and English isn't even my native language.

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Thanks for the review!

You know, I haven't had a million people called Laura reviewing - or at least they haven't told me. There have been a few, though, and it's really lovely to find someone with the same name as my heroine who can relate to her character. After all, it would suck if you had the same name but were completely different types of people, right? :) Anyway, thank you for writing such a lovely review. As you probably appreciate not everyone likes how I did this - it does start slow, for example, but I really wanted to put fifth year in because (a) that's when almost all Marauder canon we have occurred, and (b) it really establishes everyone's starting points, and as such explains why Laura is so clueless to how much things have changed in later years. And I'm impressed that you found Mary's accent easy enough to read, because I do understand why some people find it a bit of a stumbling block. However, I kind of like it, and I'm not keen to go back through a 300K word story and change it all.

Oh, and I definitely find it a compliment that you thought my descriptions of daily life at Hogwarts was an extension of JKR's, because that was what I was aiming for. I didn't want to create my own world, i wanted to set my story very firmly in HER world so that it would fit with the HP books that we all know and love. So thank you very much for that! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by katie 

19th April 2012:
aww that part with Sirius calling her a Black was cute :)

Author's Response: Wasn't it? Actually it was so twee I nearly deleted that bit, but people seem to like it so I'm glad I didn't. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by Lillylover22 

3rd March 2012:
This story is great 9/10 : )

Author's Response: thanks! So pleased you're still enjoying it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by classicblack 

23rd October 2011:
"I donít particularly want to spend my life in Azkaban." Nice foreshadowing bit for later years to come.
I like that he wants her to be a Black eventually. With all Sirius/OC fics we always see Sirius falling in love but something happening to keep him apart from the person he loves. Thus staying to canon, but it's nice to see that he wasn't always someone who could never be in a relationship with someone.
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, I quite like that bit of foreshadowing myself. The conversation itself was maybe a bit stilted, but that particular line was I thought worth keeping in there. As for Sirius' characterisation, well I tried to keep with what we see in the books, but extrapolated that to make him a teenager with all the usual hopes and dreams, before they were all smashed to smithereens by the war. Hope it seems vaguely right!

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by LivingLife42 

28th July 2011:
I really like this chapter :) Sirius punching Snape was a huge plus :P

I love when Remus and Laura talk. He is so perceptive it's great. (I think he needs to talk to Charlotte :P)

Sirius' mention about marriage... too cute :P Except it made me sad knowing it will never happen.

Well done :)

Author's Response: LOL. Yes, I liked the punch on Snape too - in the circumstances he was lucky that was all he got. :)

As for Remus and Charlotte, well that's another matter entirely. He never did get over his lycanthropy and that of course has a detrimental effect on his relationships, as Charlotte is discovering (even if she doesn't know why).

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
I have deep appreciation for how Laura is handling the situation.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: You do? Because she's not all that proud of herself with that, what with her desire for Snape to get what's coming to him. But I think it's pretty normal to want revenge for being attacked like that, even if it's not particularly mature.

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by theelderwand 

24th August 2010:
"He put an arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze. 'That's the spirit. And of course eventually you'll be a Black yourself, so that particular label will be null and void anyway.' He froze suddenly, as though realising what he'd said. 'Maybe. And only if you want to, of course,' he hurriedly added.

I smiled and relaxed into him. 'That sounds nice.' "

Ok, this part totally nailed the "old softy" in me. Mel, this was just perfect, after everything that's happened, especially the past two chapters.

Brilliantly heartwarming!

Eldy

Author's Response: And, would you believe, I nearly took that part out?? I really ummed and ahhed about it because I wondered if it was too much - you know, a bit twee and overly sentimental. But then again from the reaction I've got from it, not just from you, I think I did the right thing in leaving it in. It can be so hard to know what to keep and what to scrap, you know?

Anyway, very pleased you liked it. As I've said before, it's nice to be told you got something right, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Darn! I was really hoping Severus would get a bit worse of a punishment, but then again, Harry didn't, so I guess I can't be too surprised. Still, she almost died, and unlike Harry, Snape knew exactly what he was doing. Plus, Harry at least had the decency to feel bad about it. Congrats, btw, if you were trying to make me dislike Snape even more than I used to. At least this adds weight to the animosity between them in later years - as ever, your story fills in the blanks that JKR left us with perfectly.

And as for Sirius' comment about becoming a Black - sque! That is a very awesome bit of dialogue, Captain! Well, better be off to see how she handles this final stretch of exams - I can only hope she doesn't end up as worked up as Bea did.

Author's Response: Hi again!

You know, I've had a number of people comment about Snape's lack of punishment, but I just see Dumbledore as someone who punishes as a last resort more than anything else, which was why he got off so lightly. Yes, she might have died, but then again so might Malfoy. And as you noticed I wanted something that explained why Sirius and Snape hated each other so much in the canon, and this seemed to work quite nicely. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by doglover 

15th August 2010:
how the heck did snape get away with so little punishment???

Author's Response: Hi again!

I gave Snape very little punishment because Dumbledore is generally lenient with his students and gives them rather a lot of leeway. You will recall that when Harry cast Sectumsempra in HBP he also had a quite minor punishment when you consider the crime. I thought this was in character for Dumbledore as we see him in the HP series.

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by onlyforlove1996 

10th May 2010:
good story but ive always thought lauras character was flat. i mean she has no unique defining traits and shes pretty boring. other then that pretty good story!! keep up the good work, and favorited :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

Yes, I can see how you might see Laura that way. It's probably my fault (okay, it's clearly my fault but this is my thinking about that) for trying to make her an everygirl that people could relate to - I probably didn't give her enough distinguishing features as a result of that. So I'll cop the "pretty boring" remark, because it's probably fair enough. Thanks for the heads up because this is something I will have to think about in any other fics that I write.

Glad you like the story otherwise, though, I do appreciate that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by desert_oasis 

30th April 2010:
YAY!!! I still love this story!!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review :D

Yes, all is better again and Laura's on the road to recovery. I wasn't quite so mean as to have her miss her NEWTs or anything :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by Pixileanin 

25th April 2010:
I liked how Laura was having difficulty with seeing her attacker being taken care of.

This was an interesting line from Slughorn:

"Unfortunately Severus has been knocked unconscious, so we're not able to ask him anything at the moment"

Sirius' slip up with the "Black" thing was well done.

Laura's attitude is much stronger now. She's not taking much from anyone anymore. (trying to imagine a 'butch' Laura... okay, maybe went a little to far)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Laura doesn't take much stick from anyone any more - that was part of the growing up process, I think. She's much more confident in herself and that's coming out rather nicely, I think. :)

Glad you liked Sirius' slip up and also the reaction to Snape being fixed up - I doubt I'd like to see that much, either.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by WhistleInYourEar 

20th April 2010:
Thanks for the reply on the last review, yes it was my first time to give a review. I liked the effect Laura has on Sirius, about him being vunerable, completing him, and having slip ups like a normal person should (does that sound wrong?). It was good to know James took away Sirius' wand, the possibilities itself are endless (as endless as Sirius' love for Laura that is). Making this into a series would really help me kill some boredom.

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Don't worry, it doesn't sound wrong or even strange if you're happy that Sirius is being portrayed as human. I think that making him too god-like suspends disbelief too much and makes the story unrealistic. But yes, a good thing that James confiscated Sirius' wand. I dread to think what would have happened to Snape if he hadn't. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by Usgirl 

20th April 2010:
Somehow I feel like a mouse being toyed with by a cat. I wish I could look away. I almost wish you hadn't created such a realistic and interesting story so I could just not read the impending doom that is this love. Man I can't imagine a break up. Oh well somehow I feel like that's how you're ending this though I hope not. Though truthfully I'm sad they don't get a happy ever after ending anyway. It's so close now. Surely Laura would feel the need to be part of the Order and wouldn't these two be thrown together by association? Therefore be together! Uugghhh the pain. Lovely chapter though as usual great writing though I wish it weren't so I wouldn't have to face the heart break. Can you sense my panick? Just shows what a great job you're doing

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

You know, I would apologise for putting you through this, but it feels very strange to apologise for writing, as you called it, a "realistic and interesting story". I understand your dilemma, though - you don't want to see the end of their relationship, but you know it has to be coming. And you're not alone. Even I don't really want to see the end of it, and I wrote it and know what happens. As for your speculations about the Order, well I won't say anything for fear of letting out a spoiler but I will say that you certainly have a valid point.

We're very close to the end now so I hope you do keep on reading - it would be a shame to get this far and then give up! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by butterbeergal 

20th April 2010:
I can't believe I'm sooo behind. *scowls at self*

Anyhoo, good, steady chapter here. Sirius is just so sweet, and I really liked the slip-up about Laura being a Black eventually. It shows how serious he truly is with Laura (no pun intended). It breaks my heart, though, because I know that time will never come.

Gotta love Remus, too. He's so insightful and sensitive - the perfect guy, I daresay, even if he is a werewolf. :P

I see that Laura has really grown as a person and is able to manage her emotions better than before considering how utterly vile Sev was to her. I know I'm supposed to be seething at what Sev did and said but it was just so... Sev, you know?

Thank goodness there's some progress on Mary's case. I really hope whoever those horrendous people are will get the Dementor's kiss. That's worse than death, right?

Oooh, the NEWTs are coming up. That's the chapter you've just finished, right? I rather enjoyed the progress notes on Twitter (progress Tweets?). Makes the wait even more exciting. Haha!

Really looking forward to the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hi Gillian!

Now, now, don't scowl at yourself for waiting a few days to review this chapter. You know me, I'm just happy that your reading and reviewing at all, I don't care when they come through. :)

You know, that little slip up about being a Black nearly got deleted, because I worried that it might be too cheesy. But just about everyone has said how much they liked it so I'm glad I left it in there. *grins* Clearly I'm not the best judge of my own work.

As for Remus, well he would be just lovely if he wasn't so hung up on the werewolf thing. Trouble is, he never does get over it, and frankly I think he'd be a bit of a pain about it as well. In that sense, poor long-suffering Charlotte might be better off without him. Not that she knows that, of course, but it's my feeling on it.

And don't worry about not being seething about what Snape said. To be honest I wasn't aiming for the seething response because, as you said, it's just him. I was actually rather proud of his comments about Laura before he got punched, because it just felt so much like something he would say. But yes, Laura has matured in that regard. It's all part of the coming-of-age process, I think. :)

I'm glad you liked my progress tweets, as you called them. It was kinda therapeutic to post my progress because it really felt like I was achieving something, and occasionally I would get people cheering me on, which was nice. Yes, it's the NEWTs chapter. A pain to write, which was why I put it off for so long. I've also been putting off the graduation speeches but I'm going to have to write those very soon too. *sighs*

Oh, and I think that the people who attacked Mary would be sent to Azkaban rather than getting the Dementor's Kiss. I think the Kiss was reserved for the truly heinous crimes, the worst of the worst, and unfortunately I don't think that during the war this was one of the worst. Put another way, Sirius didn't get the Kiss for betraying James & Lily and for killing 12 random Muggles and Peter with one curse (a good thing considering he wasn't guilty), so the two minor DEs who killed the Macdonalds would be more likely to get an Azkaban sentence than anything else. Unfair, but true.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #19, by himalyanharry 

19th April 2010:
gr8 as always.when's the next update?

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

I'm very pleased that you liked this chapter as I'm quite fond of it myself in a lot of ways. As for the next one, well if all goes according to plan I'll be updating early on Wednesday GMT.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by SilverDaggers 

19th April 2010:
I've just sat and read this entire story, only stopping for tea, and I have to say I'm amazed. The attention to detail is so spot on that I would never have guessed you weren't British. Often, even though authors have done their best, it's fairly obvious by the odd slip up, but you've avoided them all. The seasons, the geography and the research you put into Bristol, Bath etc, the rugby, Mary's accent, things like 'Mum' instead of 'Mom', the colloquial slang, the fact that James's house is a Georgian manor. And your attention to the canon detail! Inflating Aubrey's head, Hairy snout human heart, the things in the prophet. All little things that a lot of people wouldn't have thought to include, but you have and it's wonderful! And of course it makes me feel better about my own obsessive research for my epic 1970s adventure.
All that aside as well, the characterisation is spot on (or seems it to me), the boys are fantastic, you've included Peter, Laura is believably flawed, Lily isn't a screaming harpy, and the way the relationships between Lily and James and Sirius and Laura evolved made me really believe in them (which is hard as I'm fairly cynical) and Remus! Oh Remus, the poor boy breaks my heart!
Needless to say I'm eagerly awaiting an update as this is the best story I've read in ages. Really, really well done!
Dawn

Author's Response: Hi Dawn! Thanks for the review! I do love getting reviews from new people ... well, really, I love all reviews, but you know what I mean.

And I'm most impressed that you read this entire story in one go, so to speak, because I'm the first to admit that I went kinda overboard. However, like you probably noticed, we have so little real canon from that era that I wanted to include as much as I possibly could. There was a lot of research, yes, but reviews like this mean that it's paid off so thank you!

And thanks for your comments about the British-ness of the story. Again, a lot of work went into that, and I've changed a few words here and there as British readers have picked up on things, but overall again it seems successful. I'm not American so the mum/mom thing wasn't an issue, but there are different terms for quite a few things in my part of the world so it's been a bit of a labour of love to try to get it right. Again, thank you!

Finally, characterisation. I was a bit sick of the same old same old with characterisation - Sirius is a player, James asks Lily out every five minutes, Lily is prim and hates James, Peter is dumb, bumbling and/or absent - because it didn't really fit with how I'd interpreted their characters. After all, JKR has SAID that Lily didn't hate James in that scene in fifth year, so I don't know why people are persisting with that. (Sorry. Rant over. I do get frustrated sometimes, though.) I'm also very pleased that you like the development of my characters and their relationships because that's kind of my thing, character development, and it was absolutely essential if this particular story plan was going to work.

Thanks again, and I'll be posting the next chapter early Wednesday GMT.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by madperson42 

17th April 2010:
hey again
another brilliant chapter, i liked all of it! I loved when Snape got floored, that was a classic. And thank goodness laura has recovered in time for the exams.

Also, cool idea mentioning the Gamps, every time i see that name i'm like; 'oh, oh Gamps law of transfiguration, Go RON!'
Perhaps a tad embarissing when my family is in the room but never mind.

Sirius is so sweet and kind to laura too. I loved the bit where he just accidentally says laura will be a Black some day, that was definatly an 'aww' moment.

keep up the good work, can't wait for the next chapter
MP42

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Yes, that punch. I'm very fond of that one myself. To be honest I'm actually really proud of that remark from Snape before he got floored - it just felt SO Snape when I wrote it, and that doesn't happen often with him - but I thought it was deserved. He's not a nice person.

I'm glad you liked the Gamp reference, too - I was just looking for an old Wizarding name that might be inclined towards the dark side so picked one off the Black family tree. But yes, good on Ron for remembering that. ;-p And the slip-up about Laura becoming a Black? To tell the truth, I did think about taking that out (wondered if it was too cheesy) but so many people seem to like it that I'm glad I didn't. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by FredWeasley_girl1987 

16th April 2010:
Great chapter. Please update soon.

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm very pleased you liked that one, I'm rather fond of it myself. And the next chapter will be loaded up early on Wednesday, GMT, if all goes according to plan. Now all I have to do is hope you like that one, too :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by fire witch 

16th April 2010:
update soon! i cant wait!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

You will be pleased to know that I'm on track to update early on Wednesday, GMT. Next chapter has been written and edited and I'm almost on top of everything else. So, not long now. :) Glad you're still enjoying it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by P Black 

16th April 2010:
OMG OMG OMG! YAY! THAT WAS POSSIBLY THE BEST CHAPTER! EVER! YAY! MARRIAGE!!! I LOVE THE FACT SIRIUS PUNCHED SNAPE! HE HAD IT COMING! okay im calm now but i am so excited about reading the end of the fic now(not that i wasnt before :) but im even MORE excited now! )

Author's Response: Hi again!

So, I take it you liked that chapter? I was pretty fond of it myself, though there are bits that I did consider taking out. The "you'll be a Black" was, actually, one of them - I thought it might be too cheesy - but you're not the only one who liked it so I'm glad I left it in there. And yes, that punch. I'm very fond of that punch. Like you, I think Snape had it coming - saying the sorts of things he was saying, he was pretty much asking for as extreme a reaction as he could get. Glad you liked it :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by Clarebear *random chick* 

16th April 2010:
I like that chapter. I'm not sure what it is but it really apeals to me. I think its cause its really cute and you get to see more of Laura and Sirius's relationship and how far they have gone if you get me. (okay that sounded really corny like really, but its true)

You cant end this story at 60 chapters unless you have a really really really long one in store for us so don't...please

Awesome chapter like I said!

Author's Response: Hi Clare! Thanks for reviewing again!

Hey, I said ABOUT 60 chapters, not 60 exactly. And at the moment the count is 61, so there are 3 chapters to go. Plus the epilogue. Hope that's okay with you! :p

I know what you mean about my main pair's relationship, too, so don't worry, you didn't sound too corny. It's hard to talk about things like that without sounding corny anyway. But yeah, they've come a long way. I think that was something that appealed to me about my story idea, which made me want to write it - showing that sort of development. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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