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59 Reviews Found

Review #1, by twitchy_pigeons 

9th February 2015:
You're always your toughest critic. 10/10 as always.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I probably am, but then again who isn't critical fo their own work?

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

8th July 2014:
I'm really glad that Laura decided to go and tell Professor McGonagall about Elvira having been the one to jinx her broom. I know she normally wouldn't have wanted to snitch on anyone but really, after all that she's done to make Laura's life absolute hell this year, she does deserve to be punished with detentions or something at least. So then when we got to the section when they're actually in Dumbledore's office I was glad that they didn't try and dispute it, even if it was only because there was no point denying the fact since Dumbledore would know if they were lying. I really liked the sweet Laura and Sirius moments that there were in this chapter as well, because they were so cute to read and a nice interlude from the rest of the chapter, and the stresses of the war and the fan club in recent chapters.

Oh, and what a dramatic ending! I don't know how, with only a few chapters still left in this story, you manage to keep surprising me with what happens and something as dramatic as Laura being hit by Sectumsempra cast by Snape! I hope she's okay!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yep, she's had enough, as anyone would have. It's nice to see Elvira get her comeuppance, and while I suspect they initally intended to dispute the charges, I get the feeling Dumbledore is remarkably difficult to lie to. Harry did it a couple of times and struggled with the decision to lie, and if he's a Legilimens (and I suspect that, as Ravenclaws, those girls would have knwon what that is and possibly also that he is one) then really what's the point?

And yeah, another cliffhanger. Sorry about that. But don't you think there had to be more to the Sirius/Snape animosity than just the werewolf prank? At least, I thought there should have been. So yeah< i threw that it. Sorry.

cheers Mel


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Review #3, by Lillylover22 

3rd March 2012:
Yeah that curse is painful 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Yep. And way worse than was necessary under the circumstances.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Ari Love <3 

16th January 2012:
Ughhh. You keep scaring me. And since I can't have Sirius, he better get to keep Laura... I'm afraid to read the rest, but I will. I hope for your sake you didn't do something awful.I LOVE this story so much. I ship it so much.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! I'm only sorry it's taken me so long to get to it.

Anyway, yes I keep scaring you. That was kind of the intent, to be honest. I had to keep my characters on their toes, after all. *evil grin* As for doing something awful, well you'll have to keep reading to find out. And that's all I'm saying. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Brokenx3 

3rd January 2012:
Just so you know, I don't think this chapter is in any way bad. I love the bits where Sirius is bothering Laura while she is studying. But I mean I may just be partial to the character in general ;)

Author's Response: Oh, I like that scene too. I was referring more to the linkages in the chapter - segues that felt forced, that type of thing. The chapter, while each scene in it was okay in istelf, wasn't put together in a way that I felt worked. That said, though, thank you for the feedback. It's always nice to hear what someone else thinks, as I'm not always the best judge of my own work.

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by classicblack 

23rd October 2011:
I thought this chapter was cute- up until the last part of course. That absolutely awful *insert word I'm not allowed to say because this review has to be 12+ here*!! How dare he Sectumsempra her?!
And I know Laura's not dead, because being the horibble person who absolutely hates surprises I am, I scanned the last few chapters before starting this story, and I know that Laura dies (haven't even begun to forive you for that one yet, by the way)
Anyway, good chapter overall.
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: First of all, thank you for keeping the review 12+, because not everyone remembers to do that. But yes, it was a bit of a low thing to do. In Snape's defence, he'd just hit breaking point and Laura said the wrong thing at the wrong time. And it wasn't a very nice thing to say either, we must remember. Havnig said that, I never think Sectumsempra is justified in a civil situation, so you're right to be upset. :)

And you read ahead? You cheater! Haha. I bet you're not the first, so don't worry about it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Yeah, Snape, that'll make Lily love you.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Oh, won't it just. But in his own way he's just as obsessive as Elvira, I think, and as a result his reactions aren't always logical. He was careful not to hit Lily, but didn't care who else he hit ... disdainful of her friends. Then again, in canon he was disdainful of her family, not caring if James and Harry died so long as she was safe. I think this is part of the same mentality.

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by theelderwand 

24th August 2010:
I didn't mind this chapter. A matter of fact I absolutely loved the whole exchange between Sirius and Laura, while she's trying to finish her essay.

I regularly do that kindof annoying stuff to my wife, so it struck home with me.

I was really glad to see that Laura carried through on her threat to report Elvira - it read well, right down to Laura's admission that she was "getting even," but that same was justified because "this is the last straw."

It all hangs together quite well.

Eldy

Author's Response: When I said I didn't like the chapter, it wasn't so much what was in it (I too adore that homework scene, it's so relatable!!) but how I put it together. I still think it reads really awkwardly so that's yet another thing I want to fix when I eventually give this whole story the once-over.

And yes, Elvira has finally got her come-uppance. More than about time, I think - but then again I think I've said before that Laura is far more patient and forgiving than I am so that's why it took so long. But yes, the last straw. It really was getting ridiculous.

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by Pixileanin 

21st August 2010:
Ack! You used it on Laura! Meanie! You know, I've actually read this all the way through a long time ago, so I don't have that fresh response that I used to. I think the best thing about this chapter was that Vablatsky got hers.

Author's Response: LOL. I admitted all the way through to being horribly cruel to my main characters, so this really shouldn't have taken anyone by surprise. I needed drama and conflict and to do that I made my main pair suffer. Mean, yes, but it made for a good story, right?

But yes, Elvira defintely got what was coming to her in this one. I thought she'd been getting away with too mch for far too long. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Well, clearly there's a fine line between love and hate, because while you apparently hate this chapter, I personally love it. The little scene where Laura gets annoyed at Sirius is exactly the type of thing that makes this story so much more than a typical romantic fairytale that the rest of us settle for writing, and the vicious actions of Snape at the end keep the grittiness going between than any more stuff from the death eaters. As for the narratives being forced - not in my eyes, and trust me, I'm pretty critical about stuff like that.

Honestly, this chapter was plot-tastic (yes, that is another of my made up words), with duelling, Elvira's confession, Sirius and Laura squabbling and Laura being attacked - how could you not love it?!

Author's Response: Ah, I don't hate the whole chapter. I'm very fond of some of the scenes in it - that homework one, for example. What I don't like is how I put it all together, and re-reading it now I still don't like it. However, when I rework this story it will be things like the segues that are re-done rather than the chapter as a whole.

Having said all that, the fact that you liked it so much speaks volumes and clearly it wasn't as badly done as I had thought. We are after all our own harshest critics, aren't we?

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by doglover 

15th August 2010:
snape is evil here. sirius is gonna KILL him!

Author's Response: You may have noticed that I have no love for Snape, and therefore I have a very unromantic view of him. To me this is totally in character for him, though others may disagree. In any case yes, he was evil. As for Sirius kiling him, well obviously that can't happen as Snape is in the books, but he's not going to be happy. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by dramione_ftw_4ever 

9th August 2010:
Well, I figured out sectumsempra when she felt burning on her fibcage. But WHOA! Now Snivellus is going to have... LILY, JAMES, SIRIUS, and probably Martha and Charlotte on his ass! Not to mention a LOt of other people, like Bernie. And up in heaven, Mary will orobably be cursing him for all he's worth.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Sectumsempra. Not a nice spell to be hit with but then again I don't think Snape was a particularly nice person, which is probably comign out in this. But yes, he's going to have some very angry Gryffindors to deal with after this. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by ericajen 

28th July 2010:
Don't beat yourself up over this chapter. It may not be your strongest, but I don't think it nearly qualifies as bad. Plus, you've left us with a hefty little cliffhanger there, you cruel, cruel woman(; Lucky for me, I'm late to the HTM boat and can go on without having to wait.

Author's Response: I don't think it was the content in this chapter that annoyed me, more the way I put it together. It didn't flow properly. Maybe now several months have passed I should to back and see if I can't improve it in some way. Anyway, thanks for the reassurance. :)

And yes, another cliffy, and yes, I'm cruel. Like I said, Mary had to get that sadistic streak from somewhere, didn't she?

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by desert_oasis 

30th April 2010:
Good lord, Snape is just mean.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, he's not a nice person, is he? I thought that Sirius' hatred for Snape was never really outlined or explained in the canon so I thought I would try to add a reason that Harry wouldn't know about. Hence, this scene. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by Sam 

14th April 2010:
Don't be so hard on yourself i love the chapter. Now hurry up and put up the next chapter i want to know what Sirius does to poor old Severus. haha. Keep it up :)

Author's Response: Hi Sam! Thanks for the review!

You know, I've mellowed a bit about this chapter now, I don't hate it nearly as much as I did when I posted it. From the feedback I've got, it seems that my hours of editing did in fact pay off after all, and it wasn't as bad as I was thinking. So that's a good thing :D Thank you!

As for the next chapter, well I'm about to load it up. As in, right now. As soon as I've answered this review I'll be clicking on "add chapter". So, you'll see it very shortly. Now all I have to do is hope you enjoy it ...

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by kathryn 

13th April 2010:
Haha you're really hard on yourself; I wasn't thinking any of that when I was reading it, although obviously the author is more critical than the reader. The only major thing I've noticed throughout the story is grammar issues, some awkward phrasing every now and then, plus a lot of American colloquialisms versus British ones (I lived in Surrey for three years), but overall it's great! Looking forward to the rest!

Author's Response: Hi Kathryn! Thanks for the review!

You know, I haven't had many comments about Americanisms, and I didn't realise I had any at all considering I'm not American. My British readers do point out words here and there and I go back and change them in an effort to make this fic as authentic as possible, so if there is anything you think doesn't fit then I'd really appreciate it if you tell me about it so I can learn not to make the mistakes again. And wow, grammar issues? I'm devastated. I kinda pride myself on that so again, by all means point them out and I'll see what I can do.

Aside from that, I'm really pleased that you're enjoying my story. A lot of work went into it so it's just lovely to have people appreciate that. So thank you. *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by hamiltl 

13th April 2010:
I am so anxious to see how this story ends up! Keep up the good work!!

Author's Response: Hi Laurel! Thanks for reviewing again!

Yes, the end is near, and a lot of people seem to be getting a little antsy about how I'm going to end it. Of course I won't say anything, but then again you'll find out what I do there soon enough anyway. Glad you're still enjoying it though :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by sianikins 

12th April 2010:
Yay! Great update! :)

Loving this story and poor Mary!

Sirius must have been annoying her- but I'm sure Mary Didn't mind :) Update soon- PLEASE :)

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

I think you mean poor Laura, but yeah. She really wanted to get that essay done and he just wasn't letting her. I see Sirius as being one of those people who always needed to be doing something, which was one reason he reacted so badly to being cooped up in Grimmauld Place in OotP, so this was one way of demonstrating that.

Next chapter will be loaded up later today, about lunchtime GMT I think.

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by naflower05 

12th April 2010:
wow. amazing amazing great amazing story. I absolutely love it! can't wait for an update!!! 10/10!! =]

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

You will be pleased to know that I update approximately weekly, every 5-7 days, and the next one is due at about lunchtime GMT, so you won't have long to wait. And apologies for taking so long to respond to your reviews, I just had a bit of a backlog that I had to get through. I hope you'll forgive me. :) Anyway, I'm glad you're still enjoying it. There's not much to go now so I hope you keep on reading these last few chapters as my main characters graduate.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by jc productions 

12th April 2010:
hey there. love this story. can't wait for mor.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! And I do think you are a new reviewer for this fic so thanks again. :)

I'm really pleased that you like the story because I put a lot of work into it, so it's just lovely to have people appreciate that. Next chapter will be up sometime around lunchtime GMT.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by JennyMc 

11th April 2010:
Hello!

What a way to end a chapter and leave people hanging! Wow. . . .
I kind of disagree with you though. I found this chapter enjoyable. :) I did. It seems important. I do love the ending, though. Not Laura getting hit, but the way it was written. I'm kind of interested in seeing and hearing Sirius's reaction to this. Hopefully, he doesn't beat himself up over it. Once again, wonderful chapter!

-Jen

Author's Response: Hi Jen!

Yes, it was a bit of a dramatic cliffy, wasn't it? Sorry about that. But I thought it was important. *evil grin*

As for the chapter, well it wasn't the content that I didn't like, it was the way I'd put it together. It didn't seem to flow. Having said that, though, my feelings about it have mellowed a bit after getting this sort of feedback so obviously I didn't butcher it as badly as I'd thought. so thank you for that!

Sirius' reaction will be in the next chapter, which is only a few hours away now so I won't say any more.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by madperson42 

11th April 2010:
Hey again
OMG!! Sectumsempra, oh no! I was happily enjoying this chapter, thinking it was a bit of exam fluff and a put down for the gigglers when Laura gets shot with the evil sliceing spell! Oh no! oh no!

Obviously i am comforted by your note that this is not the end but inside my inner ravenclaw is shouting "what about exams, think how much homework she is going to miss!" Eek!

Can't wait untill the next chapter, and don't say you hate this one, it is brilliant as always!!
MP42

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Sectumsempra. Not a nice spell, but then again it was a pet one of Snape's so I thought it was a worthwhile inclusion. But yeah, it's nasty. And I concur with your inner Ravenclaw in that exams are getting perilously close, but you'll find out soon enough how that affects Laura so I won't say any more.

And I don't hate this chapter quite so much any more. I think that my hours of editing actually did achieve something and it's not as bad as I thought it was. I still think it could do with some refining, but I no longer hate it. thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by lunalovegood23 

11th April 2010:
hi, i already left a review, but it was really short! so i'm leaving another one.

i like this chapter, but i see what you mean about the flow of the story.

"I knew exactly how to stop them, or Sirius in any case. Parts of him were so ticklish that a well placed Rictusempra was pretty much guaranteed to stop him in his tracks, no matter what he was doing."
^^ i love that, by the way! haha.

oh. and, the only other complaint i have is that i HATE cliffhangers! haha. especially because we can't read the chapter right away! *sigh*

so, all in all, it was a good chapter, despite what you might think. i can't wait to read chapter 58! when do you think that'll be up?!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm glad that you liked that little aside about Sirius :D It's only a small thing, but I thought it was worth throwing in there - the idea was that if it could make one person smile, then it was worth it.

And sorry about the cliffy, but we authors do love them. Next chapter will be up about lunchtime today GMT, so you'll find out what happens then.

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick 

10th April 2010:
Hey, this chapter isn't so bad. The end was good though!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for reviewing! :D

Ah, thanks for that. I admit that my feelings about this chapter have mellowed since I've had all this feedback on it. I still think it needs work, but it appears that my hours of editing and re-writing actually paid off after all. *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by GlynnisGriffiths 

10th April 2010:
Awfully dramatic ending, but perhaps a good lesson to learn. They all know Snape can be dangerous, so baiting him can have dangerous consequences. In spite of that, of course, I hope Laura's okay!

I really enjoyed the common room/essay scene - Sirius and Laura, who sometimes seem to have a relationship that resembles a roller coaster with exhilarating highs and miserable lows, often don't have many "normal" teenage squabbles. That is to say, not many tiny arguments or annoyances that don't border on break-ups. The reason for this, of course, is that these sorts of things are not plot-drivers and you've got a lot of important info to get across without spending time on them. But still, it was nice to see one here because it made them, as a couple, seem very real.

Author's Response: Hi Glynnis! Thanks for another lovely review! :D

Yes, Snape can definitely be dangerous, and baiting him isn't wise. In this case he just snapped, as you do sometimes. As for how Laura is, well I've told other people that she's not going to lose her arm, but I won't say any more than that in case it's a spoiler. :)

I'm rather fond of that scene with the homework, too. It's actually moved around a few times before finding its home in this chapter, but yeah, it's a fun little scene. Like you said, that sort of thing often doesn't make the page because it doesn't progress the story (and heaven knows this thing is long enough already), but it's nice to see every now and then, don't you think? I'm glad it made them seem more real, too, because that's always useful. *grins*

cheers, Mel


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