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65 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

8th July 2014:
Okay, thank goodness for that! I was really worried at the end of the last chapter and I saw how Sirius reacted to Laura's presence and obviously he believed the story that she'd been seeing Bernie Carmichael behind his back, but I'm so glad that they didn't break up over something like that, especially a lie that Elvira's made up purely because she's jealous of the two of them being together.

I think that you wrote the conversation they had really convincingly; I could understand Sirius's side of the story and the fact that they had unknowingly played on the many insecurities he has when it comes to Laura. It's so refreshing to read a portrayal of Sirius Black that isn't a perfect guy, because it's just not believable then. But I loved the way that they did manage to work it out and in the end it was more about Sirius feeling like he didn't deserve Laura and being terrified of being in love than the fact it might have been possible. And of course Laura wouldn't do something like that. But I'm glad that they're going to get some sort of justice for everything that Elvira's actually done so unfairly to them!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: I know that JKR has written some backstory of Sirius' childhood that she used for characterisation purposes, and part of me is dying to read it to see how close I was, yet part of me doesn't want to in case I was way off. This is a conversation I don't want to have to re-write too much, because it really delves into the heart of how I interpret the character of Sirius Black. As for his insecurities, well I was attempting to hint towards that ever since the Shrieking Shack - it's a reversal of kinds, with Laura getting more comfortable and confident in the relationship the closer they get, but Sirius starts to panic that he's not good enough for her and it's only a matter of time before she works that out. Kind of like there is only enough security for both of them and they have to share it out. I think I worded that badly but I hope you know what I mean. After this, he gets better, but he was absolutely convinced she'd wake up one day and think, what am I doing with HIM?

Oh and yes. Justice. I like that too.

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by Olga 

14th January 2013:
Vulnerable Sirius< 3..and Peter wouldnt lie gaaah irony

Author's Response: Of course Peter wouldn't lie! He's a Marauder! Yes, I love the irony there too. So much opportunity to foreshadow! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Elizajane 

26th June 2012:
I am so in love with the Sirius you've written. You write so well - your dialogue, characters, transitions, plot - everything is so believable and well written. The only thing I'm wondering is why you've taken some things out in in the editing process. For example, Avery's crude reference about Lily that Snape crushed him for, or Sirius' naughty little joke as they were leaving the boathouse. I've noticed others as well (like the ending of the Valentine's Day scene between Sirius and Laura, Sirius' supposed nipple rings being changed to a bellybutton ring, etc.) but I'm wondering why you decided to take them out? Were you embarrassed for writing them? Did reviewers or editors suggest it? Site rules? I know that all but one of them were unnecessary to the plot, but how Avery's insult was written before the editing seemed much more justifiable that they sent the note to Snape. Also, some transitions where you've taken things out (nipple rings, Sirius' joke while they're leaving the boathouse) don't make sense anymore (though it's still kind of implied with the boathouse thing, if you already knew the joke in the first place). But, then again, I'm sure you have your reasons for editing them out. I'd love to hear them. :) I still ADORE your story and I'm really enjoying reading it again. I'm just curious about your thought process. :) Thanks for writing such a great story! I'd love a reply to this comment if you have the time!

Author's Response: You nailed it in your question - it was site rules that made me change those scenes. I understand that you preferred them the way they were before, but they're not going to be changed back so this is how they'll stay. Unless I work out a better way of re-wording them that still fits the site rules, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Lillylover22 

3rd March 2012:
Silly sirius for believing elvira 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Yes, but there was, in his view, evidence to support it. He didnt' want to , but he did. Maybe I should have put that scene in PBT, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by classicblack 

23rd October 2011:
I absolutely loved Sirius's profression of love speech in the middle of the chapter! So brilliant! By the way, I think Elvira needs to experience a bit more of Gryffindor revenge before she learns her lesson...
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Gryffindor revenge? Perhaps. Oh, and apologies for my response for the last chapter - I misread the chapter title and therefore got the period of the story wrong. Oops! *blushes* My own fault, of course, for leaving it so long between responses, so my apologies for that too. Sorry!

Anyway. Revenge. We'll see, okay? And that's all I'm giong to say about that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by LivingLife42 

27th July 2011:
AHH! Go Sirius! I hope Elvira is scared now and doesn't try anything! And Laura should seriously go to McGonagal about the broom thing.

I'm glad they made up. They would have make up sex :P

I was on the edge of my seat reading this chapter, hoping they were going to make up. It was very well written.

Well done :)

Author's Response: Yeah, I think that Laura should go to McGonagall about the broom thing, after all it was a pretty significant bout of sabotage.

And yes, they made up. As for your comment, though, what do you think happened in that boathouse? :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by sirius_luvr 

25th July 2011:
Whoops, i didnt realize i wasnt signed in when i wrote that review, so im Chelsea :) Sorry, haha. :)

Author's Response: No problem! It was a lovely review and I'm glad you left it, signed in or not. ;)

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by Chelsea. :) 

25th July 2011:
I absolutely love this story. I think part of it, besides the great plot and writing in general, is how much Sirius and Laura remind me of me and my boyfriend. The whole never wanting to be apart and always wanting to be in contact with the other, even if its just holding their hand. Weve also had a lot of conversations like the ones in this chapter, especially. Well, minus the being raised by the Black family to have no humanity bit, haha. Obviously a different issue was there, but still. It makes the whole relationship seem very real and believable on the whole. I absolutely adore the entire story, though. Sincerely. I actually started crying after what happened to Mary. :( But anyway, i just wanted to let you know how very much i appreciate your writing, and im looking forward to finishing the rest of the story after i get some sleep as its already after five in the morning, haha. :)

~Chelsea~

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

I'm so glad that you can relate to my main pair so much because it means that I did a reasonable job in portraying the relationship. I wanted people to be able to related to them, and to Laura in particular, because that makes for a much better story than when they can't. So thanks so much for letting me know this because reviews like this really do make my day. *hugs*

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
She's gone off the deep end, that Elvira.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yeah, she has. Like a lot of obsessive types, she just doesn't know where to stop. A shame but great for the story, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Toujours Padfoot 

11th November 2010:
In the Harry Potter video games, there's definitely a boathouse. And it looks like it would be perfect for messing around with a very delicious Sirius Black.
:)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

You know, I think it was a map provided from a video game that gave me the idea in the first place, so while I've not played the games myself there was that influence. But thank you! I too think it's an ideal venue, and one that's much underused in fanfic. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by theelderwand 

24th August 2010:
Well, I guess I totally missed my guess about the polyjuice; problem was, I was so expecting that to be the case that I missed the real impact of just how close they came to breaking up this time. Still, the shoe's really on the other foot, this time around.

That said, I'm hoping this'll put paid to Elvira.

The boathouse scene was nice - the issue of whether the boathouse is canon or not never really bothered me. Honestly, I have very little patience for the "canon nazi's" out here. Especially when, more often that not, the don't have their canon accurate in the first place.
Anyway, great chapter!

Eldy

Author's Response: Hey, don't feel bad - lots of people have been caught off guard with different parts of this story so you're not alone. I'm not sure if this is because I did a good or a bad job plotting it, but if I can keep people guessing then I suppose that's not a bad thing. :)

I too am rather fond of the boathouse scene ... it got a lot of things out of the way and got it all out in the open which helped Laura enormously. And of course I couldn't break them up again - I'm cruel, yes, but not vindictive. Unless Elvira's around, of course ...

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by Pixileanin 

21st August 2010:
Nah, who cares if there was really a boathouse. You needed a boathouse, you got one. There. Creative license at its best! No one can actually say there WASN'T a boathouse, now can they?

Wow. It's been a while and I don't remember where I left off in my reviews, so this seems as good a place as any. Now we suffer through Sirius' insecurities and Laura gets to be the voice of reason. But at least he explained himself, so that was something. Your realism with these characters makes me glad that high school was a long, long time ago.

;)

Author's Response: Hi again!

No, I don't remember where you left off in reviewing, either, but don't feel obliged to catch up or anything. Not that I think you do but you never know, hahaha. In any case I'm flattered that you chose to come back and leave some reviews for the end of this. *grins*

And yes, there is absolutely nothing that says there WASN'T a boathouse. It worked for the scene and it was in one of the computer games (I think) so it stayed. Glad you agree with me on that one!! :)

As for my main characters insecurities, well they are teenagers so they have to have some. I'd been leaving hints that this was coming for a few chapters - not that many people seemed to pick up on that - but yeah, he now gets to voice all his worries and concerns and she gets to comfort him, instead of the other way around. But yes, I'm with you - thank God high school was so long ago. Things are much less complicated now, aren't they? (hahaha)

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by Shayrocks50 

18th August 2010:
great story, i started it two days ago but i didnt feel like typing a review. anywhere i guess i type one now :P when Sirius and Laura first started dating and they couldnt find a place to be alone at, why not the room of requirment. oh and i got a marauders map for christmas and there a boathouse on the map too :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! And I'm SO sorry for taking so long to reply to it - I've been a bit snowed under lately and got a long way behind. But better late than never, right? *looks up hopefully*

Anyway, to answer your question, I don't think that the Marauders knew about the Room of Requirement. Or if they did, they didn't understand what it was. The reason I think this is twofold - one, it's not on the Marauder's Map (though it could be Unplottable so that's a possible explanation); two, when Harry was asking Sirius about where he could set up the DA, Sirius didn't suggest it, which makes me think he didn't know about it. Hence, the Room of Requirement isn't in this story.

As for the boathouse, well it's appeared in a few HP things so far so I like to think that it's not anti-canon, even if it's not mentioned in the actual books. Thanks for letting me know it's on the map! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Heya. Well, I'm glad that they worked this out nice and quickly, though if I had been in Laura's shoes I would have been decidedly more angry that my boyfriend had believed I'd cheated on him, particularly given the source, and without having any tangible proof. On the other hand, Laura is in general a more forgiving person than me, and you did have Sirius explain his insecurities nicely, which made it more reasonable. Still, I sure hope he works hard at making it up to her.

Loved her deadpan "Hilarious" - not exactly the longest line ever, but it made me giggle all the same. And as for the boathouse, again I'd say that it's certainly not anti-canonical, and thus I'm happy with it as a location. Awesome awesomeness.

Author's Response: Ah, I wasn't so cruel as to drag that one out for chapters on end. It was however a conversation they needed to have ... I just have to hope now that I didn't guess too far wrong with Sirius' childhood, as I'm aware JKR has written that all out as a characterisation exercise. It was, however, my best guess so it's what I used.

And thank you for forgiving me the boathouse. It just worked for the scene, I think. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by doglover 

13th August 2010:
he really shouldn't have believed elvira.

Author's Response: No, he shouldn't have. But he did. And therefore this chapter was needed to sort that out and to help him get over any petty jealousies he might have, because they can be really corrosive in a relationship. I don't think she fixed them completely, but she certainly reassured him a lot. Hence, reconciliation. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by desert_oasis 

30th April 2010:
That was low, lordy. Good that Sirius believed her.

Lol, I'm supposed to be leveling my character on World of Warcraft, but I can't tear myself away from story... :D

You Rock!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, good that Sirius believed her. I think that I had a few people understand my version of Sirius a bit better after this chapter - I do think his sense of self worth was lacking in a lot of ways. So now you see how I've interpreted that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by butterbeergal 

8th April 2010:
Phew. Thank goodness they made up or I would have pulled my hair out if they broke up again (though I do know they will, eventually. Just not now please :P).

The whole Laura-Sirius exchange was very well-written. I just had to say it because conversations like that have a tendency to make me cringe but you did a brilliant job! I was actually gripping my laptop the whole time, hoping that Sirius would finally believe Laura and wanting to smack him at the same time for believing Elvira in the first place.

I liked Sirius's narrative and how you wrote it because it was just right, you know? I was a bit nervous at the start because I thought it might sound too mushy but I'm so glad it turned out just right, and he managed to explain himself well without being OOC, i.e. still sounding like a guy despite pouring his heart out. Hehe. And the part when Sirius said that he believed Wormtail because he wouldn't lie and Laura said 'But I would.' just crushed my heart. *sigh* The complexity that is Sirius. I completely understand how he feels and that's because you did a great job writing it.

She had moved close to him and was pushing her chest up against him, as though the promise of an extra cup size would be enough to lure him away from me.
^Haha, very snarky, Mel. Loved it!

"I suppose, by 'better', you mean yourself?"
^You tell her, Sirius. ;)

Oh gosh, you're almost done, aren't you? :( But I'm sure the coming chapters will be just as eventful.

Lovely chappie, Mel. One of my favorites. ;)

Cheerio,
Gillian

Author's Response: Hi Gillian!

So you finally managed to post this review! I'm glad you did, it's a lovely one. :) Thank you!

I know exactly what you mean about scenes like that spiralling into a big mushy mess that completely defies belief. It's a tricky balance to get right, especially when you're a female author and have only experienced these things from the girl's side. But I did try hard to keep Sirius male in this chapter, because like you said otherwise it just gets too cringeworthy. So I'm really pleased that you think I managed to pull this off, because it's quite hard. *beams*

Oh, and I didn't mean to be snarky. Or maybe I did. It's so long since I wrote that line that to be honest I don't really remember what I was trying to be. But yeah, I thought Elvira deserved it. She's not a nice person.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #18, by saffy 

8th April 2010:
What a relief this chapter was!

Poor sirius it was strinage seeing him go throught all thoes emotions of self doubt that lauara has already been through it was sort of an equalizer, (does that make sense ?)

"His slightly repulsive appearance, squeaky voice and voyeuristic tendencies forgotten, I could have kissed him"

That quote was hilarious you really dont like peter do you lol

"Cause I definitely wouldn't want to be his enemy."

Well yeah Sirius is a pretty formidable charcter ! You break my little haert with all these together froever sayings between laura and sirius you know that right?

Thanks fpr another great chapter and apolgosies if these reviews seem very brief and superficial have to say i am just plain desperate to read on ! selfish of me i know but SIX WEEKS OKAY! :p

Author's Response: Hi again!

LOL. No, I don't like Peter. Though, to be fair, Laura's opinion of him is in comparison with the other three, so of course he's going to come off second best, isn't he? And I admit that voyeurism isn't the nicest trait to give him, but it seemed to fit when I thought of it. :)

And yes, I wouldn't want to be Sirius' enemy either! That line wasn't actually planned, but came out when I was typing, and it just worked so well I had to keep it. *grins*

Finally, yes, it was kind of an equaliser, having Sirius being the one doubting things. I thought it fit, and it worked with his character as I had established it. I had a few people think he was OOC for believing Elvira in the first place, but once they read this chapter it made more sense for them. So I must have done something right!

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by Shandrak 

7th April 2010:
I just wanted to say, great chapter, and great story. Few fanfics that I like have me wanting to reread them over and over again, and this one definitely has me doing that. I really hope you end up writing more fics on the site after this story is finished. Cheers!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review! :D

Wow, you read my story over and over? I'm really flattered. I understand that there aren't a lot that would make you want to do that but I'm thrilled that you think my fic is worthy of it. Thank you! *beams* As for other stories, well that really depends on whether I get an idea for one or not, and that might be a big ask - my imagination isn't always the best. But I'll see.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by yourockmywizardsocks 

7th April 2010:
I just wanted to say that you're absolutely fantastic about updating regularly. And your story isn't the typical Edward-Bella story, where the girl is so desperately in love with Sirius that she'll die if she doesn't get him, and she's so wrapped up in herself and her self-righteous attitude that she can't see past her nose. It's a breath of fresh air.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

You know, the reason I can update so regularly is because the story has already been written, so I don't need to do much aside from a proof read and edit for each chapter before I post it. (Then again, you get chapters like the next one which was HORRIBLE, and I'm not sure I had enough time to do it justice, so I might be doing my story a disservice in some ways.) I'm glad that you don't think it's like Edward/Bella, though - I haven't read Twilight but I've heard some less than complimentary things about it so I'm pleased I appear to not be going down that route.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Fairytale12 

7th April 2010:
Yay, I'm so pleased with this chapter. It was so good that Laura and Sirius really talked and now she understands what he has been feeling and he underdstands that she would never do something like that. Plus, I loved Elvira being put in her place like that :) Anyways, great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

yes, I was quite pleased with this chapter too. It got a lot of things out of the way, as well as Elvira getting a bit of a comeuppance, which I think you will agree was long overdue. :) But yeah, I wanted that character exposition and strengthening of the relationship.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by serenity_1 

6th April 2010:
I honestly loved this chapter.

You describe Laura and Sirius's relationship perfectly.

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

This chapter does seem to have been a rather popular one, and I'm really pleased with that because I thought it was one of my stronger ones. It was written a long time ago now but it really does a lot in terms of characterisation and strengthening of the relationship I think. So glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by jesstierney 

5th April 2010:
I LIKE SIRIUS.

He's amazing, besides the whole self consious part. SERIOUSLY, you write him so differently then I've ever seen...it's brilliant! :) Okay, I reall really loved this chapter. I liked the confrontation and boat house bit and I think your excuse works just fine.

I have to run to class, but I just wanted to review!

Great Chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Jess!

No, sorry, you can't have a Sirius of your own. There aren't nearly enough to go around, I'm afraid, and I'm certainly not relinquishing mine. He's mine, I tell you, MINE!!

Right, sorry about that. I think I got a bit carried away. But yeah, I do accept that my version of Sirius is quite different to a lot of the ones out there in fanfic-land, so I'm glad you like how I've portrayed him. I can't say whether I'm any more accurate than anyone else - only JKR can do that - but I put a lot of thought into it and I do think he would have been something like this.

And thank you for letting me off about the boathouse. Like I said in the author note, it just fit the scene so well that I was loathe to re-position the interaction to somewhere else. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by Blue Biro 

5th April 2010:
aw, another brilliant chapter! please update soon, love it!
forgive my reviews shortness, update anyway! go on, you know you want to! :)
your fan becky!
1 bilion/10! you rock!

Author's Response: Hi Becky! Thanks for reviewing again! :D

I'm glad you liked this chapter, I was rather fond of it myself. There was a lot of important stuff in there that needed to be revealed, I think, with regards to characterisation and the strengthening of the relationship. And it seems to have gone down well so that makes me happy. *grins*

Next chapter is less than a day away now, assuming I can get it to a postable standard.

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by Boo101 

5th April 2010:
Brilliant as usual! I love the bit where Sirius confronts Elvira. But i've got to agree with Remus- You don't want a Sirius as your enemy! Oh... i really miss Mary!!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review! :D

Yes, you're not the only one who agrees with Remus there. Sirius Black as an enemy is not something I'd want. Particularly if he was in a bad mood - very scary. :/

And yeah, I think a lot of people miss Mary, both on page and off. She was a great character, I was really fond of her. Such a shame.

cheers, Mel


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