22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TeamPadfoot 

24th February 2012:
Sorry to be all judgmental considering this is the best fan fic I've read so far, but Voldemort didn't have snake-like features until after he returned, before this occurred he looked like regular, old Tom Riddle. You see, when he was transferred back into his body through the potion, which included Harry's blood who is also Parseltongue, and he being so himself, and having the snake Nagini as his horcrux it's not surprising he took on snake-like form. :)

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Review #2, by girly1393 

13th May 2011:
Please, Caradoc, find some impossible way to deny the potion.

Bravo to you.

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Review #3, by Chloe Black 

6th May 2010:
I'm going to leave a review for this chapter in response to YOUR response to the last chapter, if that makes any sense..lol.

I totally know what you mean, 33 chapters is a lot, but when I started reading it a week and a half-ish ago, I couldn't stop, so it was sort of a sickness from there. But I'm glad to have finished the updated chapters before my finals (which are next week) because it would have been killing me to know that I left some chapters unread. Now I can wait without being tempted to slack off on my studies. :P

That's exactly how I feel about writing fanfiction--it's all about the characters. I've tried to think of myself writing original fiction, but it just never flows..I always go back to the Harry Potter characters in my head, knowing that nothing will live up to the stories I can think of involving them! The beauty of writing the Marauders is that it is ALMOST like having your own characters, since we don't know everything there is to know about them. Which is why I'm thrilled when I find good stories, such as yours, to get lost in.

I had a similar experience with the death of a family friend last year, so I can definitely relate to it taking up your thoughts for the following week. I'm glad to hear that your friend is doing better.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

xx Chloe

Author's Response: You know, I think that is the one thing I enjoy having people tell me more than anything else - that they started reading it 33 chapters ago and couldn't put it down until they were done. That's like the best compliment ever. I'm glad you got through it before your finals as well :D

I agree about the Marauders being fairly blank slates. We know the most about Sirius and Remus, but surely they were different people back then when they were younger, before having gone through Azkaban, and in both their cases, utter isolation and devastating loss. I enjoy reading stories about them even more than writing my own - but I can never find really decent ones, that don't focus on OC's or romance and are well written at the same time.

Not to say anything bad about those OC/romance stories - it simply isn't what I enjoy.

Now I've gone off on a rant that had nothing to do with your comments...

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Review #4, by Allyson 

27th April 2010:
Hey, This is one of the few stories I check up on every day to see if it's been updated- it's so good, but it's been too long! I'm about ready to stop checking! When will we get chapter 33??

Author's Response: Soon :) 33 is almost done. I was hoping for today, but didn't have enough time to finish it up. Probably tomorrow!

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Review #5, by Ginny 

19th April 2010:
WHEN will you UPDATE?! usually i'm patient about these things but its been FOREVER! I LOVE YOUR STORY! i want more!

Author's Response: Yes, it has been! For a couple of weeks, I didn't know what to do with the next chapter. Thanks to some advice I got from a reader a week or two ago, now I know and can write it.

But a guy I know (he's pretty much my husband's best friend) just lost his dad in a freak accident on the 7th. After the funeral and all, I find I just can't get into writing right now. I can't get in the frame of mind, and I can hardly think about it at all lately =/

But time passes, and I was just thinking about how I need to get to work on the next chapter. I do realise it's been a while, and I'm sorry... I started out having trouble with the chapter itself (but it is half done) and ended up having trouble with real life :P

It will be up soon, I might try to write it today now that somebody has finally called me out on it..

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Review #6, by sdfsd 

31st March 2010:
update por favor? i really enjoy your story and i'm going into withdrawal!

Author's Response: yes, I've been thinking about this story a lot more lately. I've needed a little break from it, I just haven't been into writing. But I think I'll be back with a new chapter sometime within the next week :)

I just can't write when I'm not in the mood for it, or else it turns out like rubbish.

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Review #7, by rayloren 

15th March 2010:
Wow, what a great story! I recently found this tale on the home page for this site, in the list of Dobby Award recipients, and it is the first Marauders era fic I've read. Really fantastic! You've managed to put together a very believable story. As for your "most cannon" Dobby award, you definately deserve it. Please note that i rated this chapter as 10/10, but that is really for the whole story so far. I hope that you have a fairly regular update schedule (every 2 weeks, once a month) so that I will have some idea when to expect the next and future chapters. I am very much looking forward to the rest of this story. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind if I amuse myself with some of your other stories, and possibley your Favorite Stories page too. Keep up the good work, and know that you have gained a new reader. -Ray-

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And I am quite honoured to be your first Marauder story. I work really hard towards keeping things believable - I like stories that make sense and aren't all off the wall about what could happen in them. And it's such a pain trying to be canon! One little thing (such as the way JKR wrote about the McKinnons in Lily's letter to Sirius) can throw the timing off, and completely ruin, everything. So I work very hard on that too :)

As for updating, I would say I'm usually anywhere from 1-4 weeks on updates. I go through phases of having to force myself... Which I don't understand because I enjoy writing it, but I guess it's just laziness. Anyway, the next chapter is about 1/3 done. I'm at a standstill with a difficult scene, but it'll come about soon. The story is nearly halfway finished :)

Go on and amuse yourself, some of the stories on my favourites have been there a really long time :D I don't add favourites lightly.

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Review #8, by shadowcat2 

15th March 2010:
plz plz plz update soon!!

Author's Response: Working on it! The next chapter has been started, I just haven't had the passion to finish it lately. I don't want to force it, it could affect the quality. But definitely started, hopefully finish sometime this week :)

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Review #9, by bob 

12th March 2010:
how old are you? SORRY! didnt mean to sound like a creeper! im just shocked that someone who isn't at least 30 could write a story like this--it's amazing!

Author's Response: Ah, well. I am 26, so not far off :) I'm glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #10, by auror_snape 

6th March 2010:
Dumbledore's weird. He's passed eccentric and almost gleefully stopped at Daffy Duck.

I have a new nickname for him: Captain Obvious.

Author's Response: I'm not even sure what happened to him in this chapter. I was writing along and he ended up being a weirdo, but I rather liked it, and it reminded me of some of the "off" things I've seen him do in the series.

LOL Obvious or not, I don't think anyone else in the Order would have been able to tell that something happened right in that spot! Not that it matters at this point, we know Caradoc is never seen again.

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Review #11, by Raquel 

3rd March 2010:
I know that you must be so, so busy, however your story is just so good that I'm getting infuriatingly impatient and I want to unleash my wrath on someone other than yourself. I really would love it if you could post Chapter 33! It would completely make my day because I now have a crush on Sirius (because of you) and I really want to read more. Thanks! I know I sound weird but at least I made my point.

Author's Response: LOL. It's not so much being busy (though today and tomorrow will be horrible, I have to babysit - and I never get anything done on weekends)... well okay, maybe a little. I can't write til Monday, and there's a possibility I might have to babysit then, too - I haven't heard whether I have to or not yet. Ugh.

I was hoping to write it yesterday but it's too complicated and I couldn't concentrate on it. It's like, half action, half drama. Sorry! I'll definitely have it done next week - but I usually do have to babysit Mondays, so probably Tuesday.

Also, these sorts of reviews where people desperately want more make me so happy.

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Review #12, by DracoDormien 

2nd March 2010:
Caradoc never really stood a chance did he? I always get sad when I think about how short their lives must have been and how quickly things can do wrong. It sort of depressing because even though they are trying so hard, its so easy to just get cursed and forced to do something you don't want to do. And then his friends and scrambling around trying to figure out what is going on. I googled him to see what happens. So depressing. Gone in the blink of an eye but thats war isn't it.

Author's Response: Nope, he never did... there was nothing he could do. Yep, that is war. I really liked Caradoc, and am sad to see him go. Thankfully, aside from losing Regulus Black, this is the last death/disappearance until 1980 :D I don't particularly like writing them because you're right, they ARE depressing.

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Review #13, by oXGwEnIeXo 

28th February 2010:
wow this story has progresed far since I first read it ages ago !! lol I rem when there was lik ten chapters, been ages bt I reli enjoyed it. altho I was sort of sad that it wasn't sirius's pov, he is there bt so used to readin from his, its odd to hav a sudden change.

hopfully update soon?

Author's Response: LOL i remember when it was around 10 chapters too. I didn't think I'd ever make it this far. It is about halfway done now... still a long way to go, unfortunately!

LOL i try to change the POV now and then. Like I had Crouch's POV once... and I had Petunia's... And Edgar's... I am going to try to get some additional scenes into these chapters later on when its all done. Hopefully the POV's will be more balances and not SO much Sirius (though I am glad you like him)

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Review #14, by shadowcat2 

27th February 2010:
this is one of the best story ever! everythng is just perfect. thanks a lot for giving us the opportunity to read a writing so brillant. your updates always makes my day!

Author's Response: hey shadowcat, I'm thrilled that you like it so much. No need to thank me, I'd have written it anyway even if it never left my computer... But I definitely owe everyone who reads it a huge thank you!

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Review #15, by MWPPgalftw 

27th February 2010:
I love it! Although I seriously thought Lily was about to get preggers in this chapter because of the Elvendork comment, it would be totally cliche to get pregnant so early in the story. Although things really are in the gutter eh? All these deaths and destruction and hopelessness. I'm surprised they haven't lost all hope yet. Would think that after all they have been through. They wouldn't last much longer without a shred of hope.

Author's Response: Thanks! Nah, its a bit to early to get pregnant as you said, but it won't be long now. It's June 79 in the story, so... what, October, November? A few more chapters.

LOL I suppose I don't realise that it's been a nonstop stream of death and destruction in the last few chapters. I guess I just figure that this was what the war was like - nonstop Order work, nonstop death. There was a reason why even the simple dark mark in the sky 15 years later terrifies people, you know? I am trying to make it dark, though perhaps it IS a bit too much. I try to balance it out with a little humour in the chapters too.

But when the story is done and I can go back and edit, maybe I'll try to tone it down some and insert some more happier scenes just to balance things a little.

Thank you for your input!

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Review #16, by pennyardelle 

26th February 2010:
Aaah, I was so excited when I saw the summary of this chapter! Elvendork! :D

I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to get to reading this. I saw that it was updated but I've been so busy lately...

Anyway, at this point, I'm not even surprised anymore when your chapters are fantastic. I'm pretty much running out of new ways to say how much I love them! But I'll try. :)

I think you did a wonderful job with Dearborn and his determined resistance not to give in. So sad that for how hard he tried, they still got the information. (But you did set things up well for a shift in the dynamic between the Order and the Death Eaters, now that the DEs know who the Order members are.)

So, I took a look at some of the other reviews so far, and I completely agree about how strange it is that the prequel makes it look like James and Sirius are already in the Order. And it doesn't really make sense that they would be wearing shirts that advertised it...I mean, I don't really picture Dumbledore taking shirt sizes at the first meeting. :P Yet everyone takes it to mean that they were Order members. Personally, I've come to the conclusion that the shirts were actually for a Quidditch team. There's actually one with a phoenix as their mascot (I think it's an Australian team, so I suppose that part doesn't really make sense). Anyway, that's pretty off-topic, but I think we could come up with some better interpretations of that scene. :)

As usual, all of the emotional content in the chapter was really well-done. James' thoughts about his dad, the light-heartedness in the Elvendork scene, and the little mention of Peter looking more grown-up--it was all excellent, just like always.

All I can really say is...more soon, please! :)

Author's Response: LOL. I couldn't stop laughing about the whole Elvendork thing. And it is okay. For a few days I was getting worried - you weren't the only one that didn't show up right away as usual. I guess it's a good thing for me to learn not to take my reviewers for granted!

I love Dearborn. I wish I had more time to write him, but since its been 6 months since the Order photo, I suppose this was his time to go. It was somewhat fun (sounds so morbid) to write his resisting, even if, in the end, there was nothing he could do. And yes, I'm glad you recognise the set up. Now that the Dark side has backed off on attacking for a bit, they're going to try to recruit more, perhaps. They'll try to convince some of the Order to even join them. Thus, where the defiances, which should begin happening in the next few chapters, will begin.

What you say about the prequel makes me happy. it seems you believe as I do, and yes, how utterly ridiculous to think Dumbledore would have had shirts made for the Order members! Not to mention you never saw the second Order wearing anything like that. Of course, I wouldn't put it past James and Sirius to boldly go off on their own and flaunt it. But that would be quite dangerous (though they seem to welcome danger, I don't know if they'd be THAT irresponsible). I could see it being a Quidditch shirt, but sort of odd that they would both wear it. I just choose to ignore their attire altogether.

I had forgotten I wrote that about Peter. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I was so relieved when I saw you came!

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Review #17, by Jules 

26th February 2010:
I'm surprised they used Veriterserum on Caradoc, I would have thought they might of tortured it out of him. Although I guess that might come next. I was so into the suspense and intensity of Caradoc's parts and then praying that Dumbledore and the gang would find him in time. But we all know he is going to die. So so depressing.

I hate cliffhangers ahahha

Author's Response: I thought they might try to torture it out of him as well, but it would take a LOT to get him to give up his info. Due to the site rules (plus I don't want to write anything graphic just cause its not enjoyable) I can't have tons and tons of torture going on. Plus, I didn't really want to mar his character by having him give in.

Suspenseful, I am so glad! Yes, he won't be seen again, ever. I don't think I will write him again, either, just to leave the mystery open a little. Aw, cliffhangers :)

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Review #18, by KT 

26th February 2010:
I was giggling like crazy when I was reading the Elvendork stuff, although I thought the prequel took place after school? When they were in their late teenager years? Maybe I'm wrong, awful memory sometimes.

Voldemort was perfect in his actions and words. I find alot that people have a hard time trying to make him as distasteful as he really is. But it seemed so realistic in this. :)

Good work on the Order's part. Although I thought less of them might have gone, you know, split into groups in order to cover more ground while each of them were at a different location.

Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: I was giggling when I was writing it, too. I am pretty sure that the prequel itself said that they were 17. Unless they were born in the summer time like Harry, they would have been 17 the summer before 7th year. And we already know James was born in March, so he was 18 when he graduated... it HAD to have been the summer before. The only thing I really hate is that they were both wearing t-shirts with Phoenixes on them, and I hate the idea that they joined the Order whilst still in school. I choose to ignore that :)

I'm glad you liked Voldemorts, he's really hard to write!!! I am not surprised that so many have problems... it's like you try to make him sound evil, and instead he sounds really lame, like youre trying too hard. Your compliments on him are really reassuring.

I didn't even think of having the Order split up. I suppose I could edit it in very easily whilst changing very little due to the way the last section is written. Thanks!

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Review #19, by Casey 

25th February 2010:
YAY YOU UPDATED. Got so excited again. I love the thoughts James had about his family. It is so true though when someone dies, you tend to forget that they are gone and suddenly catch yourself, only to get slightly depressed. Sirius and his party idea, lol, I guess it was to make them all happy and help them forget as well as himself, wouldn't you say?

I would have loved for Caradoc to live longer. He seems like such a wonderful person who would contribute alot even from the past one where he taught them (I think it was occulmency wasn't it?) Extremely ironic how he has it used against him.

And detective Dumbledore to the rescue.

I never read the prequel before. I shall have to hunt it down now.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed James's thoughts. Death does take some getting used to, and I didn't want to just ignore it without saying something about how they are all getting along! Sirius wasn't intending to make them all forget about anything, he just wanted to have a good time :)

I really enjoyed writing Caradoc for as little as I did it. I really don't have enough time or focus to really feature the other characters as much as I wanted to... I guess when this story is done, I can go back and write more for all of them. Yes, it was Occlumensy, and yes, ironic!! :)

The prequel is not the greatest thing... very short by JKR. But it was cute.

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Review #20, by Emily 

25th February 2010:
I liked the change of point of view. I was getting a wee bit tired of hearing from Sirius all the time but only because I desperately wanted to know what was going on with the other characters and what they were like. Its a shame about Caradoc, I was really hoping he'd survive longer. It seems as though all has happened are deaths and kidnapping. Maybe they could strike a blow against Voldemort soon?

Either way I loved it.

Author's Response: Aw, I am sorry you get tired of hearing from Sirius. I find him easiest to write, maybe because I've already spent so much time writing him so far. But I really do like Caradoc and I'm sorry he's gone. LOL of course all that happens is death and kidnapping, its the first war!! :) And they are striking blows whenever they can - such as stopping the underground and werewolf attacks, stopping the riot, capturing so many Death Eaters in Ottery St. Catchpole... I figure Voldemort himself would stay mostly hidden, as he did in Harry's time.

Plus, I am afraid of having them attack wherever it is Voldemort is staying directly. They are outnumbered, and though they are skilled, I personally don't see how they'd make it out of there alive. I would rather not write it at all then write them marching to their deaths, or marching just to turn tail and run...

I'll try to work something out but no promises :)

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Review #21, by Moonylupin 

25th February 2010:
I'm with Lily on that one. I'd never allow any husband of mine to name a child Elvendork (as funny as the name is). I loved all the boys' reactions to it. It was nice to see them just goofing off, something they really don't get to do very often, especially considering what happened so recently. I loved the way you wrote James, Sirius and Mrs. Potter in their routines following Mr. Potter's death. It makes sense that they would go about their routines as they always would and then realize that there was a vital part of it missing. But it does make sense for it to affect Mrs. Potter more.

Poor Cardaroc. He goes missing. From what I remember of OOTp without going to look, I think Moody says they never find him. I loved how you went through the disappearance from his point of view rather than someone else's or just adding it in (which is something I'm guilty of). It makes it even sadder, despite the fact that we already know he doesn't make it out of the war.

The Death Eaters are scary people, especially Voldemort using the Imperius Curse, which was a great idea. For me, it makes it even worse when you see they're not even in control of what they're doing. Dearborn wasn't even aware he was walking into his death, only when it's clearly too late. I like his loyalty to the Order. And I really liked the Order's determination to find him.

Great chapter! Can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: LOL I wouldn't name a kid Elvendork either, but it's pretty funny. Every time I have them all goofing off and just having fun, I get that comment - that it is nice to see! I suppose they do have to get together now and then and not think about Voldemort. I think it takes a long time to get over a death. Partly its from my own experiences - when my dad died, I still expected him to come rolling down the driveway after work. There were several times when I quite literally had a thought and told myself to ask my dad about it, only to realise - oh yeah, I can't. I was astonished at myself, because I've always been pretty logical about things, and I don't know how I was being fooled. But I guess that is the way it is! That was in 2002 - I don't do those things anymore, btw lol.

I really liked Caradoc, so I agree. Poor fellow. You are exactly right, Caradoc simply disappeared and never returns. I was iffy on actually showing what happened to him, but in the end decided to go ahead. I'm glad I did, because I like the way it turned out. I'm happy you enjoyed it too. (And your story is SO long and covers SO many years, I think you can get away without including every tiny detail!)

It really makes me happy that you find the Death Eaters and Voldemort to be scary. Score! I think what you pointed out - that Caradoc just walked to his own death without being able to control it at all - is the scariest part of the whole thing.

Thank you for reviewing! The chapter's been up for 3 days and I only got 1 review on it before you - I was starting to worry. I think I've gotten spoiled, eh?

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Review #22, by spangles 

23rd February 2010:

You can't imagine my excitment when I saw that this was updated. It made my day!!

I loved the scene with everyone and "Elvendork". Even after reading 32 chapters of your work, I'm still suprissed that you can write such amazing dark, horror and action scene yet you can still be completly hilarious, you're just to talented.

And finally, we get some real Voldemort action! That scene was AMAZING and I honestly read it twice, just because I liked it so much. (: Caradoc's POV section was just amazing, especially when he wanted to die before he could reveal the Order's members. And now, I'm in complete suspense for chapter 33. Will the Order save Caradoc in time? Is he going to tell Voldemort everything? I have to know!!

452345278930/10. I love this storyyy! (:

Author's Response: I'm glad to finally have it updated - I was worried about this chapter and handling Caradoc's situation. As it turns out, the whole thing ended up coming out much more smoothly than I had aniticipated - one of those rare chapters where it all just fits together and you hardly have to stop writing to think.

LOL. I remember finding it absolutely hilarious when I read the names James and Sirius gave to those police officers in the prequel. I vowed to include it somewhere! This is the first time having children has really been mentioned, so here it is! I'm sure there will be more Elvendork teasing in the future.

I have yet to reread the chapter, but I do know that this was remarkably easy to write. I will dare to say it might possibly be my best chapter yet, although I will definitely have to go back and edit it before I'm sure. I am thrilled to death that you liked it - as I said, I really was worried about this chapter, but it came together well when I actually sat down and did it.

I really liked Caradoc as a character. Unfortunately in a story like this, I have a hard time fitting the characterisations of the other Order members in... I'm still working on trying to get Peter his share. I am ecstatic that you enjoyed him.

I refuse to tell you what happens in the next chapter XD However, canon will tell you the outcome of at least one of your questions.

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