37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

8th July 2014:
You know, every time that I see a chapter title like 'Valentines Day' or 'Another Birthday', I get a little bit worried that you're going to write something else which means Sirius and Laura come close to breaking up, so I'm really glad that didn't happen in this chapter! It was a very fluffy chapter but that was quite nice to read because I feel like as we get towards the end of this story, the chapters are going to take us back down to earth again and the effects of the war will become more and more apparent. So it was lovely to read about Laura actually having a nice birthday for a change - much better than the one that Bertram gave her last year, because she now has a boyfriend who knows a lot better and cares for her much more. The section when he gave her the gift was really sweet and shows how close they are, and then I enjoyed reading the section about the birthday party. So much has changed in a year but it really made me laugh to read them arguing about whether James or Sirius was more under the thumb of their respective girlfriends!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Now now, whatever would make you think I would break these two up again?? Oh yeah, right, the rest of the story. Fair enough then. But there's a bit of fluff in this period, because I wanted them to get really established before I threw them the next curve ball, so to speak. Which of course is coming, but as you've finished it by now you already know that. ;p I liked Laura having a nice birthday as well, because as you said it contrasted rather nicely with the one the previous year when Bertram tried his hardest but really missed the mark by quite a lot.

cheers Mel

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Review #2, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
Sirius is so cute 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Yep. Definitely.

cheers, Mel

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Review #3, by singer123 

15th December 2011:
Wow! Awesome chapter again!
Sirius seems to be the best boyfriend a girl can ever get.

I really think Remus ought to get a girl though.
Charlotte is just waiting to pounce on him and there he is alone in his solitude and loneliness.

Author's Response: Ah, yes, Sirius. We must remember that he is of course a fictional character - and he has flaws enough. They're just not all showing themselves right at the moment. :)

As for Remus, well he's just not comfortable letting anyone get that close. This is something that haunts his whole life.

cheers, Mel

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Review #4, by classicblack 

23rd October 2011:
Nice chapter. I actually agree with Sirius and think Laura was targeted instead of the fan club being behind the broomstick incident. Happy eighteenth Laura!
Until next chapter,

Author's Response: Laura being targeted? Now why would you think such a thing? Oh, yes, the fact that after all their attempts, the fan club would have to get a hit or two eventually. :) Again, this was generally a fun chapter to write so I'm glad it came out in the narrative.

cheers, Mel

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Review #5, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
-sigh- It's not all going to be peaches and cream much longer, is it?

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: I thought they deserved a little bit of peaches and cream, even if it didn't progress the story very far. But in answer to your question, no, not really. What's a story without a little drama? *evil grin*

cheers, Mel

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Review #6, by theelderwand 

23rd August 2010:
Character Development. Laura has finally gotten comfortable in her own skin. The fact she could so easily understand that the Marauders, who are nearly as close as brothers, knew of the siriusness of S/L's relationship, could be blunt and up front about it - and supportive - without sending her into a tizzy, speaks volumes. Great work this, to gradually have her come to terms with the fact that the rough talk actually just masks the boys' support for S/L's relationship.

Ditto with her ease over Sirius' birthday gift.

Hexing her broom was an awfully dirty trick. i do hope they find whoever did it and that the individual(s) get a strong dose of Marauder justice.

Great stuff, once again!


Author's Response: Yes, the idea with Laura was that after the Shrieking Shack episode she would finally be comfortable with the whole thing and allow it all to progress naturally without overthinking things. As such, her reaction at the party fits in with that - mildly uncomfortable at the way her love life is being discussed, but happy enough to go along with it because she knows there's not malice in it. It's been a bit of a journey for her but she got there eventually. :)

As for the broom jinxing, well that's a part I'm not really happy with (it doesn't read very well, I dont' think) so it'll get redone eventually, but it had to be in there. They couldn't have that many goes at sabotage without getting a hit eventually.

cheers, Mel

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Review #7, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Cool - I like the way you've once again shown Laura's character development by her changing reaction to the boys discussing her love life. Instead of getting upset, she's just pleased that they help them out in getting some privacy. Nice one.

Also thought the part regarding the hurling hex was useful - people can't keep at them forever without eventually scoring a hit, and this was a good way of having that happen. I also liked the way you used it to have Laura commenting on the contrast between Muggle life and being a witch - as a half blood, this is exactly the kind of thing she would notice, and it really helps to keep the whole piece unique and convincing. Nice one.

Whatever will I do now..?

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, this was definitely intended to be further evidence of Laura growing up and getting more confident in herself, with her reaction to the boys talking about her love life like that. :) I was kinda pleased with that one myself.

As for the Hurling Hex, I think it was worded a bit awkwardly and I intend to revisit that scene when I do a proper re-working of this story. However, you're right in that people had to get a few hits occasionally and this was one of them.

cheers, Mel

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Review #8, by doglover 

13th August 2010:
i love remus!!! he needs to work it out w/ charlotte!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, ideally Remus WOULD work it out with Charlotte but then again he never really gets comfortable with relationships, does he? We know that from his behaviour towards Tonks. So while it would be sweet, there is certainly that holding him back at this stage. Whether I let it stay is, of course, another matter entirely. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #9, by always_dreaming 

26th March 2010:
oh i remember what i was going to ask last chapter! do the marauders not know about the room of requirements? because that would simplify things. it would be a little cliche, but understandable- they seem to know about everything else.

Author's Response: Hi again!

I have deliberately kept the Room of Requirement out of this story because I don't think the Marauders knew about it. After all, if Sirius had known about it he would have suggested it to Harry when they needed somewhere for the DA to meet in OotP. And I can't see the others knowing about it without telling Sirius, so I have just assumed for the purposes of this story that either they never found it, or if they did they didn't know what it was (much like Fred & George, who only knew it as a broom cupboard). I agree, it would simplify things, but since I made the assumption they didn't know about it, I can't use it in the story. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #10, by desert_oasis 

19th March 2010:
Aww how cute!

Good chapter!!!

I didnt realize how much i missed reading these!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, yes, this was a bit of a fun chapter from memory. (You'll have to forgive me because there's been a lot going on in the time since I posted this chapter, so my memory is probably a little sketchy.) I'm kinda glad you missed reading them, though, because that means I must have done something right somewhere along the line. Thank you!

cheers, Mel

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Review #11, by ochalke5 

9th March 2010:
Oh goodness, boys are so silly. It was a good chapter. Seems lighter in a sense towards the end. And I can't decide if it was the girls or not, That seems like a logical answer. I for a moment thought about the Wanna-be-Death Eaters doing it but, the chances the girls did it are higher. It was another wonderful chapter, and i can't wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Hi Natalie! Another lovely review, thank you!

yes, boys are silly, but then again we knew that anyway,d idn't we? I'm actually rather proud of that little conversation towards the end there, it just felt SO James & Sirius as I was writing it. As for the broom jinxing, well that's revealed later so I won't say anything here. Can't do spoilers, now, can I?

cheers, Mel

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Review #12, by pennyardelle 

26th February 2010:
Hi there! Once again I've fallen behind a couple chapters in reviewing, but here I am to make up for it! :)

I love this line: "I donít know if it actually is for house elves, but it makes a good story." It certainly does make a good story! That's the kind of thing that JKR would have thought up herself. :)

I also really liked the present Sirius gave Laura...normally I would find lingerie to be a bit cheesy as a gift, but like Laura, I felt like that wasn't even really the right word to describe what it was. In a really strange way, I was kind of reminded of me of that mithril stuff from Lord of the Rings. :P That's probably not the nicest comparison for you to hear as an author--silk slip to armour--but you gave a really, really nice physical description in that part. And plus, it's just SUCH a Sirius gift.

Wow, I had a feeling that these plans on Elvira's part were going to take a turn for the worse, but jinxing someone's broom is pretty serious. I'm now even more worried (plus, I have read the next chapter, so that's coupled with Bernie's warning), and I hope Laura's right not to be worried!

Haha, the part at the party where Sirius says, "I hope that's you, Laura", made me laugh. :P Must be strange to have to worry about random people coming up and embracing or kissing you when you don't want them to. And speaking of kissing, I do like that you give Peter these funny quasi-romantic moments here and there. Not many people go that far in including him in their stories.

Also, I thought you had a really good last line in this chapter. It wasn't anything earth-shattering in its content, but it was just very nicely balanced and felt like an understated but sophisticated little flourish at the end of the chapter. Plus, I actually learned a new word ("palaver"), which doesn't happen too often these days!

Well, I'm off to re-read and review the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Penny! Thanks for the review!

Hahaha, I'm glad you liked the passage for house elves. The location is somewhere Mrs Norris disappeared in the HP series so I just went from there, and the house elf thing just appeared as I was typing. And don't worry, I knew exactly what you meant with the mithril reference - something that's just such high quality you can't really describe it.

Yes, jinxing someone's broom is pretty serious, I actually think that Elvira stepped over the line there but Laura's willing to brush it off for the time being. Whether she continues to do so, of course, is another matter entirely and remains to be seen.

I'm glad you liked Peter's little romantic moment, too - I think he does need to have them occasionally. I also think though that James & Sirius' reactions to it were telling - and that kind of derision, fond and affectionate as it may have been, was key to him turning later on. I believe you've read odyssey's At The Funeral and it's mentioned in Peter's chapter that piece, and I think that's very likely how it was.

And wow, I taught you a new word? I am impressed. I have used "palaver" in the story before - apparently it's something Welsh people tend to say - but you may not have noticed those ones. But yeah, it's a good word, isn't it?

cheers, Mel

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Review #13, by Singer Of All Songs 

21st February 2010:
Hey Mel!

Sorry i haven't replied but i have being having toubles with my reviews getting though, it however is fixed now and i shall put three chapters worth in one.

Chapters 47 and 48 i thought were fairly slow and some of the minor things could be expanded on to give the story more dimention, such as the whole charlotte - remus situation. However, maybe i just needed some coffee when i was reading them cuase this chapter was right back up to your usual standard. I thought it was fantastic, the pace picked up wounderfuly, the plot seems much more intreguing and my praises reach till the end of the earth.

Anyway. at some point ill go back and leave an accutual review for Chapters 47 and 48, but till then i can't wait for the next chapter.

Your faithful reader

Author's Response: Hi Singer!

You know, it's funny what people think is slow and what's up to scratch, because I thought this chapter was certainly not one of my best. And I'm the first to admit that there's been a lot of filler lately, though I did think that the explanations in Hogsmeade were necessary. A touch redundant because the reader knew it all, but it still had to happen, and I do hope that I made it at least semi-interesting. Anyway, I do realise that it's been slow lately but I do have a couple of things up my sleeve so please don't lose heart, I think it will pick up shortly. At least, I hope it will! *crosses fingers*

thanks again, Mel

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Review #14, by harry101 

20th February 2010:
as we are 10 12 chapters away from the end i hope you give a happy ending to all this despite the dreaded fate of the marauders. as dumbledore said for a organised mind death is the next big adventure. so maybe despite his end sirius will have beautiful memories of his life before azkaban. just a thought its your story anyway.
PS i know you don give away spoiers

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

Hmm. How about, I can promise that Sirius will have beautiful memories of SOME of his life before Azkaban. That is, what you've read so far. I will of course however say nothing about what's to come - there may or may not be a happy ending. Like you've noticed, I don't do spoilers. *evil grin*

cheers, Mel

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Review #15, by himalyanharry 

20th February 2010:
hey there
well all through this story there were tremors leading up to a shock but you seem to have abandoned that tendecy in this part of the story.

great chapter anyways

Author's Response: HI there! Thanks for the review!

You know, this one surprised me a little - not because you were asking about why the tremors had disappeared, but because I hadn't realised they were there at all. Not that I don't have something big in the pipeline, but clearly you were seeing something in the narrative that wasn't necessarily intentional. Then again, back before Christmas I wrote a blog on the forums here that said that other people seem to think I'm a better writer than I actually am, and I stick by every word of that ... I'm not sure that I deserve the praise that has come my way since I started posting this story. So I guess this is a roundabout way of saying, the lack of anticipation hasn't been intentional but please dont' give up, because I do have a couple of things up my sleeve still. Maybe it'll come back. I hope so!

Anyway thanks again and I hope you like the next chapter, which should be less than 24 hours away now.

cheers, Mel

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Review #16, by Ms Padfoot Black 

19th February 2010:
keep going :) its getting even more suspenseful with each chapter!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for reviewing!

I must admit I laughed a little at this review because the one I received directly after this one implied that the suspense is dying a little. However, I do have a couple of things up my sleeve still so there is still some action to look forward to. Now all I have to do is hope you enjoy it. *laughs nervously*

Next chapter will be up in the next day or so I think.

cheers, Mel

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Review #17, by Bumblebee13 

19th February 2010:
i get so excited every time i see a new chapter has been updated! (: you're absolutely fantastic and i can't wait for the next chapter, but please get remus to give up on being so noble and go for charlotte already! he deserves happiness!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Hmm, Remus and Charlotte? I do agree it would be nice but he is of course hesitant. And that's all I'm saying! *evil grin* You'll find out if you keep reading.

Anyway, I'm so pleased that you're enjoying my story so much, I'm not that thrilled with it right now but I think it will pick up in another couple of chapters. Of which, next one should be up very soon.

thanks again, Mel

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Review #18, by madperson42 

19th February 2010:
hey again, another great chapter, sorry for not reviewing sooner but i wrote one then the stupid computer went hay-wire and deleted it. GRR!! i hate my internet connection. Ah well... here now so back to reviewing.

Great chapter as per usual, it's nice to have some happy chapters although i am anxcious for what happens next because knowing you, you will add a new twist soon.

I liked Louisa Philpot especially as she has not only my but also my friends name in her name. : )
But i am also slightly worried for her, she seemed intoxicated, perhaps with alcohol but maybe also with love potion?

Also i am feeling sad for Remus, i just want him to have a girlfriend and stop being so reseved already. But i guess that's not in his nature. Perhaps Charlotte should just go for it and throw herself at him. he he he!

CAn't wait for the next chapter, almost 50 now, that is an achievement. Congrats on the fabby fab fab story so far!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, no worries about the late review, as you can see I'm late responding to it too. Something to do with writing something at late notice for the Gryffindor collaboration and not getting to review responses as a result. Anyway, not to worry. We both made it in the end! :D

As for something in the wind, well of course you're right, I can't have it all smooth sailing for my characters, can I? That would be way too boring to read about. So yeah, there are a couple of things coming up that will throw a bit of a spanner in things. And Remus? I agree he needs to let go a bit and just let it happen, however I'm not sure that's in his nature. This is addressed a bit more in a coming chapter so hopefully you'll accept me being a little guarded about it here.

And Louisa Philpott? Definitely drunk. And that's all I'm saying.

thanks again, Mel

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Review #19, by 19181901 

19th February 2010:
Another awesome chapter once again! :)

Sorry for lack of replying on recent chapters; school started up a few weeks ago and have had lots of internals but anyway not needing my life story here!

Keep up the amazing work (which i know you will but you get my point) Can't wait till next update!


Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, no worries for not reviewing, after all it's entirely up to you if you leave a review and I can't complain if you choose not to. It's a favour to me anyway. But I'm glad you left this one, it's good to know that you're still enjoying it. I'm the first to admit that my story is getting a little lost at the moment but I do promise it will pick up again shortly. At least, I hope it will! :)

thanks again, Mel

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Review #20, by inky 

18th February 2010:
Grosss, Peter kissing someone... blech.

Haha anyway, nice chapter. A little clichť and indulgent, but then it is a birthday chapter, so what can I say? :) I think the thing about fluffy, romantic scenes is they're best when they're intentional and when there's been some tension leading up to them. The one last chapter was PERFECT. Like, beyond. The timing and the details and the emotion and... everything. This one, because it was so close to the last one leaves a little something wanting, though I can't put my finger on what. I figure it's just so close to the last one, no matter how good it is, it dims slightly in comparison. Though I'm glad Laura wasn't too injured in the broom stunt, perhaps that would've been just the emotion and tension it needed to rise to the other. Hmm...

Sorry, my thoughts are so jumbled. I hope I don't come off critical, because I don't mean to be! You're a wonderful author, and you've got quite a way with words. I just like to think (or type) through my thoughts on a story chapter. In any case, great job! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

No, not overly critical. And to be honest, I do need reviews to critique my chapters, particularly this one, because I know it wasn't one of my strongest. *guilty grin* Then again I know I've got some fairly strong chapters coming up so maybe that's how I'm justifying it to myself. But yeah, you've probably got a point in that it was too soon after the last one. I'll have a think about that.

Anyway, never apologise to me for being critical in a review. So long as you're being constructive, then it all helps me improve as a writer, doesn't it? And isn't that the point of reviews in the first place? So think of it as doing me a favour more than anything. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #21, by Pixileanin 

18th February 2010:
I'm envisioning Sirius saying "kerfuffle" again.
(loving some of your word choices!)
Seeing the boys together was great. I also liked to see Laura with her broom again... even if it was a short bit, and the accident... I was missing Laura's broom action. Nice that it returned.

Now I have to go find a way to use "kerfuffle" for something...

Author's Response: Hi again!

Wow, you're impressed by "kerfuffle"? I didn't think that was that unusual a word. But maybe it's not all that common where you live. Anyway, it was perfect for what I wanted to say so I used it. Glad you liked it! :D

Yeah, I thought it was about time Laura went out on her broom again, it's been a while (but then again she has been a bit distracted of late). Too bad it was jinxed. But it's part of who she is so I had to bring it back again.

thanks again, Mel

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Review #22, by dominicancat 

17th February 2010:
loved this chapter =D great Job

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for that! I thought it wasn't all that strong but it's great to have people enjoying it anyway. *beams* Next one is due up by Wednesday at the latest.

cheers, Mel

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Review #23, by SpottedZebra 

17th February 2010:
Cute chapter again!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, not one of my strongest chapters I'm afraid, but it was kinda cute I suppose. But fear not, there will be more action shortly so hopefully the lead-in to that doesn't feel too much like filler. Thanks for the review! :D

cheers, Mel

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Review #24, by kill the moonlight 

16th February 2010:
What a great chapter :) A bit exciting too, my birthday was yesterday matter a factly! I love how care free banter the boys had at the end. It gave the story line an amusing outlook. And yes, I do feel a bit sad for Peter. The poor kid's always being looked down on. I was surprised he was getting any action at all!

ps: Pretty please make Rem and Char get together! You're killing me here!

pss: The plot is great! I can't believe they had sex in the last chapter, although I did see it coming. Way to go Laura!!

psss: I bet the fan club had some doing with Lau's broom. Shame she actually got hurt my the 'evil plan'. ):

Lovely story, sorry I hadn't reviewed recently!

Author's Response: Hi Gabriella! Welcome back!

First up, happy birthday! I hope you had a lovely day and felt very spoiled.

Ah, Peter. Yes, a few people were surprised he was getting any action, which was what sparked that conversation at the end there. I too like the Sirius/James interactions, it's my way of trying to demonstrate the depth of their bond, which we all know was really strong.

As for Remus and Charlotte, well my lips are (of course) sealed. Sorry! You'll find out if you keep on reading. And the broom? Again, that will be revealed later.

thanks, Mel

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Review #25, by Twilight_Princess 

16th February 2010:
LOL I'm sure there were some people bound to notice Sirius and Laura gone... if they weren't drunk, that is lol. Hopefully Larua's broom wasn't an inteded jinxed by Death Eaters or the girls plotting to take Laura out for being with Sirius was going to get a wake up call from him!

I can't wait for the next chapter!! :D

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, some people probably did notice their departure, but I don't think either of them would have cared, do you? Not with where they were going. As for the broom, well I wont' say anything here except that you will find out eventually what was going on with that. Sorry!

thanks again, Mel

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