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17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by saywhaat 

29th May 2012:
Okay, wait, whaat?

Look, this story is so awesome and everything, but don't you think it's a little out there to have the Potters eighties when James was conceived?

I know they were quite old, but usually quite old means that they were in their thirties or maybe early forties.

I mean, don't witches get freaking menopause?

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Review #2, by Raquel 

21st April 2010:
PLEASE POST MORE! Please?

Author's Response: More will come! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply, I just didn't know what to say (aside from things I've already said to other reviewers - hopefully you saw some of that). So I didn't want to respond until I could give good news.

I worked a lot on the next chapter today, though I am not entirely pleased with it, it could just be that I'm a bit out of touch. Regardless, it's almost (but not quite) done, and then it just needs a quick read through and edit, so it is entirely possible it might be posted tomorrow (the 27th) or Wendesday (28th).


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Review #3, by Jetske 

20th February 2010:
I loved reading this chapter. It wasn't too emo, but precisely good enough. I really enjoyed the part where Sirius is standing by the coffin, I think you did a really good job there!:) I'm looking forward to the next update!

Author's Response: Awesome, it is such a relief that people aren't finding it too emo. The part where Sirius was looking into the coffin was enjoyable to write, so I'm glad you liked reading it! Sirius is realising that he didn't ever get to know James's father as much as he thought he had.

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Review #4, by Rocky 

16th February 2010:
Gotta love it! I like the part where Sirius spends time at the casket

Author's Response: thank you! I thought it was interesting to see what John's life was like prior to retirement, having a son, etc..

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Review #5, by Raquel 

15th February 2010:
I loved it. It was raw and heartbreaking yet not sobbingly devastating. I admit I am very touched however I did not cry. It was beautiful. I cannot wait until the next chapter. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm so glad it didn't turn out too emo. I know a lot of death scenes walk the line on going overboard!! I am thrilled that you called it "beautiful", and every doubt I had about it may now be dispelled. Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #6, by Fairytale12 

15th February 2010:
Wow, I thought this was such an excellent chapter. You really managed to get across a lot of feeling and emotion but I don't think it was too emo at all. I thought it was very touching and heartwarming. You are such a talented writer. I can't wait to see what direction you take this story. Update soom please :)

Author's Response: heya! Thank you, it was definitely one of the hardest to write so far. I'm glad it wasn't too emo - personally, I hate reading emo things, but for some reason, when writing, its hard not to get carried away! gah! Maybe I let my mind wander too much... Anyway, thank you for the lovely compliments :)

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Review #7, by auror_snape 

14th February 2010:
That was heartbreaking. Truly heartbreaking. But the title for the chapter fit perfectly. He was a real king.

Author's Response: Thank you! I agree with you, I wish I had taken more time to write about James's parents before this, but hey, that's what edits are for (after this story is done!)

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Review #8, by EB 

14th February 2010:
I always read this story but never went to go listen to the song, well, it isn't a requirement but I thought, what the heck? This time I'll see why she chose the song and hopefully the music will sing to my soul and boy did it! I love this song! Thought you might like to hear that haha.

It was interesting how disconnected Sirius seemed to be from James and his family even though he was considered apart of them. He seemed to just draw away and look at it from a 'friend' point of view and not from that of a son or loved one as he should have.

The frustration, pain, suffering and heartache seemed to become my own when I was reading this. You really got inside of their heads and hearts and exposed the feelings raw.

I wonder if his mother will die of a broken heart...it would be fitting if she did but then it might not be canon considering it would have to be natural. Sad, though, when it will happen.

I truly love this story alot. Its a bloody shame it might not have happened, I'd imagine most of it did though, you remain true to canon which is a difficult thing because someone always deviates from it here and there but not you. Its amazing.

Author's Response: I don't usually include songs or anything - it always seems almost lame to me when I see people trying to match their story to music. But this time I did, because this particular song seemed to give off a feeling of hope and a feeling of wistfulness all at once, which is sort of what this chapter was going for :) I am glad you liked it.

I think Sirius is careful about letting him get close to anything too personal. He's already battling himself just about nearly every day trying to separate himself from his real family. I don't think he is ready for the rejection or loss again, and so even though James has always considered him family, I think Sirius is hesitant to allow that. And this, to lose somebody he loved (even if he doesn't admit to it) is just what he feared, so he's a little standoffish.

I am glad you could relate so well to the chapter and the things the characters are feeling. So far just about everyone has told me this, and also, somebody points out something different that they picked out of it in nearly every review.

Mrs Potter won't be dying for a while yet - I am not sure if it will happen around Christmas 79, or perhaps she will remain with them until 1980. I do have a plan for HOW she dies, so it's just a matter of when I can work that in.

I'm really glad to hear how much you love the story :) Lately, people keep telling me they love it, which is pretty awesome. I think it might be coming into some things that a lot of people can relate to or think about. I am not sure, but I never had people telling me of such fondness for it until recently. It's rather awesome :) thanks for reviewing


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Review #9, by spangles 

14th February 2010:
Gahh, my review for this never showed up. :(

But, I speant fourish hours last night sitting on my but reading and reviewing all 31 chapters of this story.

I. loved. it.

You should probably update a.s.a.p because this has become my new favorite story on hpff. I can't even express how much I love this. Well, it's on my favorite list now and I'm going to obsessibly stalk it ever day to see if it's been updated. It's these kind of fics that make me think maybe J.K.R should come check out fanfiction sometime, because that was amazing. :)

23452345234523/10

Author's Response: you reading and reviewing is really impressive! I don't think I could have read this monster in one night, much less reviewed every chapter! It is much appreciated.

Just to let you know, I'm going to be working on your replies a bit at a time :) But do not worry, they are coming.


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Review #10, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick 

13th February 2010:
Wow. That was very well written for starters. Also, my eyes teared up a bit. Great job, I love the story, and I think thats about it.

-Lyn

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you got teary and that it elicits reaction from people. And thrilled to hear that you are enjoying it, thanks so much for letting me know! See you soon!

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Review #11, by spaghettiemandolino 

13th February 2010:
There are several things I liked in this chapter.

1. Sirius and Lily together. I think they have more to share than what I read in many fictions. Sirius has some respect towards her and since she's James's girlfriend he could do everything to protect her in case of danger, but somehow many things are unsaid between them. Probably because Sirius is not extremely extrovert and he tends to close up, but I can see they're relationship developed a lot from when they where at Hogwarts.

2.You made John Potter die for and Muggle disease, something difficult to explain, since magic always seems stronger than muggle life. You put the two world on the same level and you showed that not everything can be solved by magic and that life can be complicated: a magical disease could have been easily curable probably.

3.I was waiting for Sirius to hug James but he did not. I then realised that reaction was my reaction and I was marvelled you stayed so in canon even in this situation. Sirius is no type for physicality, touching and expressing emotions. So I was annoyed most of the time because he continued to stare at the floor, but on second thought...this is Sirius! And there was nothing to add between him and James because they understand each other perfectly anyway.

4.The funeral part and Sirius's wondering about John's past. That was really touching. It's also so true and real.

5. As you said,you didn't picture broking down and tears and all the overemotional part. I think that made it even more powerful because you sort of let the reader imagine it and you made dialogues, posture and behaviours more important. Every person deals with pain in a different way and this kind of pain is somehow past tears. James and Sirius are both strong and weak at the same time. They always want to be strong, fearless, brave, reckless, but when something like this happens all your world is crashing down and tears aren't enough. All your world changes so suddenly it becomes unreal. You're...walking on air really, you're trying sort things out, convince yourself that it will be all different, that you'll have no more a dad ready to tell you what is right and what is wrong. I think you must be so messed up that it's difficult to even descrive it and the good job you did was putting it into words without falling in the drama and rivers of tears and all that stuff. That was what I really liked.
I hope it makes sense.I realise my writing must be quite confusing,partly because english is not my language and partly because I'm rambling really. I tend to do that a lot and this is the result, sorry.

But, again, I know it must have been hard to write, it was worth it. Well done!
hugs
░spaghettiemandolino░

Author's Response: Hope you don't mind if I use your numbering system to address your thoughts.

1. I adore Sirius and Lily together - but more as the hesitant friendship they hover around now, than an actual romance between them. I think Sirius has respect towards her for more than just being James's girlfriend - they met with similar problems - rejection from family (her from Petunia, and Sirius from everyone). I've always pictured the two sitting on opposite ends of the couch in front of the Gryf. fireplace, both brooding about the same thing.

2. JKR always said that there was nothing spectacular about the Potters' deaths, which is why I had him die from something as common as a stroke. It has always seemed that issues with the brain and nervous system can't really be fixed by magic, given the evidence (Longbottoms, Lockhart) and the fact that the closed ward exists at all. Strokes DO kill a lot of people, even though a lot also survive them - but at his age, I think it was simply time for John to go (took me a few weeks to settle on that).

3. I tried to stay away from anything going overly emo. I think you are right about Sirius not being really touchy/feely or anything. I could still see James hugging Sirius (and Sirius tolerating that, but perhaps being hesitant to return it), but not Sirius being the one to initialize it... lol but I think James knows when Sirius isn't in the mood for that stuff.

4. When my dad died in 2002, I still remember walking past that casket and seeing all sorts of things in there. It was weird...

5. I'm glad you're another one aboard the "no crying!" ship. I was worried that people wouldn't like the way it was done, but also really didn't want to have the whole thing be a sob fest. I see it so often in other fics, where James is practically crippled by emo and Lily is the only one who can comfort him, and then he comes back with a resolve to fight harder, and nobody mentions Sirius at all even though he was part of the family too, and... just.. no. lol. So this chapter was important, I wanted to get it right.

And I love your understanding of it. They ARE strong and weak at once. And I think they've sort of forgotten that there are other threats out there and other things that can't be stopped or helped - things aside from Voldemort. I think you have a great understanding of this chapter, and I know what you mean about not being able to voice it the way you are thinking, but I'm pretty sure I understand completely what you are saying :) I do not know quite how to respond to it, aside from that I agree completely, and having gone through such a thing personally, it's like living two separate lives. There is the life when that person was alive, and then there is the life when that person is gone. You still expect the phone to ring and it is them, or you still expect their car to pull in the driveway after work...

Anyhoo. Thanks for the wonderful review, and for sharing those thoughts with me.


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Review #12, by Kelly 

13th February 2010:
Sirius and Lily, yay, I love the bit with them. They seem to understand each other on a very different level. I bet they would have been great together if, duh, James wasn't into her.

James and his insistance on Lily and Sirius being apart of his family was really heartwarming. I can't believe that receptionist just stood there and I was expecting Sirius to just barge past.

Poor bloke at the funeral too as though he didn't have enough to worry about without people thinking he was invading the funeral and generally thinking what on earth a Black was doing there.

Chapter was extremely sad but enjoyable. I like the finality when Sirius said thank you and that was it.

Author's Response: hola Kelly, I really enjoy Sirius and Lily together. You are exactly right that they understand each other. They're both really intelligent people who were going through the same things regarding their families. In this story, they have come to respect each other for that, and I've always felt that even when Lily was rude to James or telling him off for something, she would leave Sirius out of it, even if he was right there.

Your idea of Sirius just barging past was fantastic. It DOES seem the sort of thing he would do, so I hope you don't mind that I have gone back and edited the chapter to show the thought crossing his mind.

LOL it DOES seem completely out of place for a Black to be at that funeral, sitting with the family right in front, even if they are aware the Potters more or less adopted him.

Thank you for the review, you've addressed a couple of things that nobody else has so far.


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Review #13, by Casey 

13th February 2010:
OMG OMG OMG YOU FINALLY UPDATED! Yay, I kept checking every single day to make sure and then went back and read a few previous chapters which were my fav.

So much goodness in this chapter. I really just wanted to hurt that receptionist because she didn't understand how important it was that Sirius and Lily be there, well mostly Sirius. And totally lame on the Muggle Doctor and magic not being able to fix everything which is completely true but so sad at the same time. Wizards are supposed to be more powerful and all of that than normal human beings but something like a stroke or heart attack happens which magic just cannot fix and I guess now they realise it.

And I was a little surprised that Sirius didn't know what a stroke was but after thinking it through I realised he prob wouldn't considering it would happen more with Muggles than Wizards (damn them on their good genes HAHA)

I was crying even before he died. It felt so real as though someone I knew had died and then it just got hard to read (because I was crying obviously not because it was bad fiction). But that was good, really makes you feel for the characters.

And sometimes tears just don't cut it anymore. I would think it was completely out of character if they all broke down so its cool that they didn't.

AH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH!!

Author's Response: welcome back, Casey... yep, finally updated. Not exactly a pleasant chapter, so I kind of put if off for quite a bit. I wasn't even sure whether or not I was going to have John survive the stroke until the morning I started writing.

LOL the poor receptionist was just doing her job! I'm sure she gets a lot of people claiming to be family just to be able to go in. They couldn't prove it, and Lily didn't even have a ring on, so from her POV, it was clearly a scam to get in!! haha. I feel bad that people hate the woman, who obviously felt bad enough once James came out and told her off. I think magic could fix a heart attack (unless the person was really old or something). But a stroke seems to mess with people's heads and nervous systems... and things involving the brain seem to be one of the things magic CAN'T fix, seeing as they have a closed ward at all, also seeing the proof in the Longbottoms, Lockhart, and others.

Sirius has never known anyone who had a stroke - it's simply something he has never encountered. Seems like all of the Blacks have died exceptionally young...

Well, I am sorry it made you cry! I'm glad to hear it's realistic, though - a lot of stories overdo the tragic scenes. I kind of feel like the way it is now says a lot more between the characters than if they were all crying and hugging each other for hours.

So I'm glad you liked it, these sorts of chapters always stress me out XD


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Review #14, by BethDresdan 

13th February 2010:
I think sometimes people are beyond tears which I reckon alot of them were or they felt as though tears might serve them no good. There was so much sadness and realism in this chapter that it literally felt as though I was there standing beside them in the hospital and then at the funeral. Their pain became my own which I think shows just how great of a writer you are. So many people write awful death scenes with people screaming and crying hysterically, and people getting so emo its just noxious fumes of boredom and eventually somewhere along the line, the reader begins to hate the story. But it definitly wasn't like that here.

You really got into Sirius's head exceptionally well during the funeral and him wondering about James's father.

I just hope they can all pull it together in time. There is still a war going on and I think John's death sort of fractured their, already, sore souls. Although hopefully they don't go off the deepend either and try to blame each other.

I had a funy visual of Peter being a pullbearer because he is so short and the coffin tipping. Dark humor there but it deviated from the sadness. But it was wonderful sadness, it wasn't just words on a page, you made them have feeling and life.

Author's Response: hiya beth - maybe you are right about the tears. Anyway, I suppose its good if you felt you were right beside them (although I'm sorry you had to go through that :P) I really didn't want to go overboard with the death and the reactions to it, because I feel like I may have gone overboard on things in the past with this story... lol. Plus, I don't want people to react to it the way you said haha.

I am really glad you enjoyed Sirius's part in the funeral - that particular bit wasn't planned, it just began to happen as I was writing.

They'll be able to pull it together, no worries. Remus lost his dad and still functioned, and the same with Lily. They knew it was coming, and now it's just going to be a matter of checking in on James's mother more often. I do have a decent plan for her death as well which I am kind of excited about, but haven't worked out the kinks yet (I hope I can get it all straightened and can actually USE that plan..)

LOL poor Peter. I don't know if height matters - I have never seen a pallbearer chosen based on height... that would be a terrible thing to happen, wouldn't it?? !!

Thank you for the fantastic review - the thoughtful ones are always the best.


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Review #15, by Moonylupin 

12th February 2010:
(Stupid computer backed up the page and I lost the review!) Anyway, I felt horrible for James in this chapter. Even if he said he was prepared since he realized his parents were old, no one's prepared to lose their parents (this kind of reminded me of James in my own fic, actually). Aside from his friends, I imagine they meant the most to him.

I really hated that reception lady. Who can make those kinds of comments in a hospital, of all places? Sirius and Lily are members of the Potter family, despite what that woman thinks and I'm glad James barged in and, more or less, told her off. It was so sad to see them have to go through all of that, realizing that whatever the hospital tried to do for him, it really wasn't going to help.

I think James being irritable was a good reaction. Like Sirius said, James never handled loss well, and this is the biggest loss of them all. I think the scene at the funeral home was done really well. I really liked the part with Sirius looking into the casket and seeing all of the strange things in there and how they wouldn't have been strange to Mr. Potter. It probably made him wonder more about the man.

And the part with Sirius thanking Mr. Potter was so sad, yet I can completely see Sirius doing that. Mr. Potter really was the father Sirius wanted, yet hadn't been born to. Great chapter! Can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: Aw :( I hate it when that happens.

LOL I think it'd be hard NOT to feel horrible for James XD You are right, you are never prepared to lose anyone, let alone your parents! You are probably right about them meaning the most to him outside of his friends, though I don't think he'd ever admit it.

LOL. I don't think people would normally be so rude or challenging about visiting a loved one, but rules ARE rules, and visiting hours are over, and I'm sure receptionists and nurses get people trying to fake being family all the time! I don't even know what happened there, it kind of went off on its own thing while I was writing it, but hey, it helped me meet my word count goal, so I left it XD It wasn't planned, however; I'm glad you liked James's rescue.

Also glad you thought being irritable was reasonable. I felt bad that he was being rude to his mother - she was probably suffering more than anyone - but it just seemed like he wouldn't know how to handle something like that. James has always been spoiled and had the greatest life, I would imagine he's never lost anyone before. I am happy you liked the funeral, because sometimes writing about that stuff tends to bore people. It pleases me that people are commenting on the objects in the casket (though I don't know why, it has nothing to do with this story...)

I think Sirius had a lot of respect for James's father, though I have never really fully sat down and given it a lot of attention. I think I mentioned in chapter 8 that James's father had challenged him to do well in life - to get all of the awards that he himself had earned. And I think Sirius wrote that off, doubting it would ever happen - but to have a parental figure actually believe in him like that and expect things from him must have meant something.

Anyway, I can't believe you are finally done with your fic! I must admit that I clicked your last chapter. I didn't read it because I didn't want to ruin the ending for myself, and I am nowhere near that point in reading yet - but I was curious about what you would have to say about being done after all this time, and I figured you'd leave an AN. So then I saw my name and I actually had to swallow this huge lump of guilt that welled up in my throat. I really need to get on reviewing that story again, I am so sorry for constantly slacking off. It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's just that I'm a fairly unmotivated person, and lazy to boot.


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Review #16, by Gosia 

12th February 2010:
I think you did great job with this chapter. It wasn't too much or anything, but I still cry like a baby ;(

I really love your story because you stick with the canon and didn't put in there any OC character in love with the main characters :/ It always annoy me when someone writes history of the Marauders with OCs...

Author's Response: Hello Gosia! I'm really glad it wasn't too much, sometimes these chapters can be overwhelming. I am sorry you cried, anyway, but then, I guess it means it portrayed the situation right, yeah?

I am glad you are enjoying this OC free story. Part of the reason I am enjoying writing it is because of the lack of OC's. The Marauders can really have an awesome friendship when there aren't a bunch of girlfriends standing between them!!! Who knew??


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Review #17, by pennyardelle 

11th February 2010:
Okay, first of all, you are FANTASTIC for updating, because I was just thinking not even an hour ago that I was really needing to read another chapter of this story. :) Thank you!

I started out this chapter thinking James' dad was going to survive--hadn't you said that was your intention in review responses? :P It's so funny how things can change when you go to write. Anyway, it felt right somehow, like it was his time to go, and for that reason, I felt like you did a good job in no one having a breakdown. It was a sudden death, but he was old--as James said, it was something that had been silently expected because of his age. To me, it probably would have seemed overdone if everyone was breaking down into tears and wailing, which you obviously sensed as well.

I did really like the examination of the objects in the casket. It was interesting, because Sirius had lived under the Potters' roof, but he realized at the funeral that he hardly knew James' dad--and I think that's a very realistic reaction to a death, especially when it's someone elderly. Unfortunately, we tend to forget that our grandparents and great-grandparents have had all these experiences and seen so many changes, and then once they're gone, you can never ask them. Sirius won't ever get to ask James' dad about the boy in the picture (and was there a story to that?) or the splintered wand.

This is going to sound like the weirdest compliment, but you use swear words exceptionally well. :P You use them sparingly, but when you do use them, they have a very strong effect. They're always placed in very realistic situations, too. Too often, people either overuse them or never use them, to the point that they've pigeon-holed themselves and they can't use them without it sounding out-of-place (and I think I probably fall into the latter category).

And, finally...I don't know what it is, but every once in a while, you write something into your chapters that is EXACTLY what I've pictured in my head (and unfortunately for me, exactly what I've been planning on writing). It's the most bizarre little things, too--in this one, it was the sleep potions for James' mum after his dad died. For whatever reason, I've always pictured her having to use a sleeping potion when her husband died. How strange is that? :P It's very neat to see it written, though, especially as you do it so well!

Did I already say thank you for updating? :) As usual, I look forward to more!

Author's Response: Well then that was good timing! I have been working up to this chapter for several weeks now. I've been putting it off, and now I know why... Ugh! On the other hand, for some reason, it really pleases me to know that somebody craves this after its been too long.

Yes! I did say his father was going to survive! I was going to have him die from a magical ailment because I thought that's what JKR said they died from - when I double checked on Lexicon, it just said there was nothing spectacular about how they died. So I figured "oh what the heck, get it over with". I was struck with an idea that will be the result of this.

Anyway, I always see deaths in other fics where everyone is losing it, including the men - which usually seems to happen only so that the OC can comfort him - and I didn't want to give off that aura. I think there may have been more crying than what I wrote, but perhaps silently, alone at night in bedrooms... Well, who wants to read about crying anyway. You get enough emo out of this with Sirius's family issues :P

I enjoyed writing the casket scene, for exactly the reason you mentioned! I've always really liked James's dad, for absolutely no good reason. I just wrote him and really thought he could be interesting. I wouldn't mind writing a quick story about his life or something. As for the other boy in the picture, it WAS supposed to be his best friend as a child - obviously the Potters probably outlived everyone, but maybe John's friend had a son or daughter who brought the photo.

LOL on the swear word thing. Well, thanks. Sometimes I feel I use them TOO much. Ah, I can't take credit, really. It is my family's fault. I grew up with 2 older brothers who swore often as teenagers, and I am married to a trucker!!! Unfortunately, the sound of such words is completely natural to me, and its not something I give a second thought about.

Just because it happens here doesn't mean it can't happen in other fics XD Especially something like sleeping potions - I would think that would be very common. My dad died 8 years ago (crashed his motorcycle) - the first night - there is no sleep. How can you sleep?? I spent the first half of the night washing and folding every piece of clothing I owned. I spent the second half driving - I don't know if you live in the US, but I lived in Seattle Washington. I drove down to Portland Oregon and back. 8 hours lol. My stepmom had to be taken to a hospital and be sedated. She was given drugs there - not sure what they were, but I assume sleeping pills. I tried to stay realistic - I have done this before... So go for it on the sleeping potion thing!



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