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54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

8th July 2014:
Ah, I knew that things from the fan club were going to get worse! I find the concept of it a little bit strange because I can't imagine ever being one of those girls - why do they obsess so much over someone they've never spoken to, and try to break him up from his girlfriend when he's clearly happy? It's cute how protective Sirius is of Laura though and it is quite amusing to read about their attempts sometimes, I just hope they don't get worse and more malicious...

Valentine's Day was perfect! I loved the way that you wrote it and it was so lovely for the two of them to get the chance to have some alone time as a couple away from everyone else, but also for them to have a significant day like that not get ruined by someone else or one or other of the pair mistrusting something! I liked the end of this chapter as well because I've missed seeing Mary around so much, and she's such a good friend to Laura. They're both quite absorbed in their boyfriends right now which makes sense, but it's nice to see them not neglecting their friendship too.

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yeah, I don't really get Elvira either, but she is of a type and as such I quite like her as a character. Essentially their motivation is to see him single no matter what, so his happiness doesn't actually come into it. This is a kind of selfish lust (I won't call it love because it's not) rather than a generous one. But yeah. They're a bit odd. ;)

And yes it's nice to see Mary back, isn't it? You're right in that they've both been rather preoccupied but hey, that's whawt happens in those situations, right?

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by Olga 

6th January 2013:
Pretty freaking adorable!

Author's Response: Thank you! So pleased you liked it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
They are so cute 9/10 : )

Author's Response: thanks! I thought so too.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by singer123 

15th December 2011:
Just perfect!!
How long have they been going out? Like 2 months?
It's probably time I say.

Author's Response: Yes, just under two months. The timing seemed about right for something like this - glad you agree with me! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by classicblack 

23rd October 2011:
Aww Sirus and Laura's first Valentine's day :) Such a cute chapter ")
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Teehee. Yeah, cute, and about as risque as I was prepared for them to go at this point. It felt right and was quite fun to write, actually. *evil grin*

thanks, Mel


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Review #6, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

10th August 2011:
It's interesting to see how Valentine's Day seems to bring out a rather shall we say... Different side (to keep it 12+) to this relationship. I think you've also demonstrated how as teenagers, they're basically being driven by their hormones at this stage and I think it's perfectly believable for both of them. I also like how you've adopted an implied tone, I tend to find it's the lack of details sometimes that make these sorts of scenes what they are (Stephen King is particularly good with that sort of thing), that and the fact that we're all bound to the ToS! It something you've done wonderfully here!

I like how it didn't seem out of place in the chapter also, it was well balanced when it could have easily been a little unbalanced considering the nature of the scene. I think the pink bubbles might have done the trick! Excellent use of that spell too! Sadly this is my last review of the night, but I'm greatly looking forward to the next chapter when I resume reading tomorrow, your writing is ever perfect in this story, and it's fast becoming my favourite story of all time here at HPFF.

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, you're not the only one who had trouble describing that Valentines Day scene in 12+ terms. It did feel right, though, for a couple of horny teenagers - though, as you noticed, I'm bound by the ToS and, like Stephen King, I'm keen on letting people's imaginations do the juiciest bits. Not to mention the fact that Laura's far too coy to go into any details ainyway. :D

And yeah, pink bubbles. I got a giggle out of that one myself! *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Those Marauders. Secretive, aren't they?

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yes. Yes, they are. *nods* But then again, they had more than enough secrets to keep, don't you think?

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by SweetPassion_14 

22nd November 2010:
OK im confused about this chapter... did they have sex or what???

Author's Response: Hi again!

In answer to your question - no. Laura made the point in there that if they were already doing that then that's where it would have led, but you saw much of what they actually did in this one. Laura's coy, yes, but not THAT coy so when that happens you will know.

cheers,Mel


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Review #9, by theelderwand 

23rd August 2010:
Mel, that whole Valentines day snog scene was exceptionally hot. No more will I say (or can I say and keep it 12 plus).

The Marauder's Code was an absolute perfect touch - right down to no reason needed to hex a Slytherin - especially Snape. That pretty much does match up with the "Guy Code" I've always taken for granted. So, are you just that perceptive, or is your husband telling tales out of school? LOL!

Starting to get concerned at how much the butt of every joke peter is among the Marauders. Could be that is what finally led to him turning traitor. Shame - almost like Kreacher...

Great stuff, as per usual!

Eldy

Author's Response: Right, last review response for today - I can't put RL off for much longer, unfortunately.

You know, that Valentines day scene almost didn't make the cut- the way the chapter was originally structured it didn't fit, so it was going to end up in PBT as a missing moment. Then I had some inspiration for something further ahead that meant revising the chapters in between, and suddenly I had 1500 words or so that needed filling, so this came in. Hot, yes, probably. Appropriate for a couple of horny teenagers? Absolutely. *grins*

I'm very pleased you liked the inclusion of the Code - again, a bit of a last minute addition when I realised that, though I'd talked about it in the narrative, I hadn't actually spelled it out anywhere. I'd written it ages earlier so it wasn't much of a rewrite to get it in there ... but yes, I really am that perceptive. To quote my husband's best mate, I'm "very unusual", hahaha.

As for Peter, well JKR pretty much said he was the eternal pansy of the group. It must have been so satisfying for him to get one over them later on when he was playing spy, simply because they'd always underestimated him. At least, that's how I see it. Could be wrong but somehow I doubt it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Another lovely chapter. It was nice to see that Laura's trying to keep up with her friendship with Mary, despite their relationships, and I was glad to see that you broached how this can affect friendships when the boyfriends aren't close.

The moment in the passageway was surprisingly racy, but not out of place in the story - nicely balanced, overall. And I was highly amused by the concept of Sirius literally washing his mouth out after Wendy snogged him - just a beautiful image, that!

Still, my favourite bit was the "Marauder Rules" which pretty much fit with the kind of values I see the guys holding; i.e. generally fair and loyalty-based, but with a healthy dose of house rivalry thrown in. Exactly the kind of extra-canonical stuff I love this story for!

And thus...

Author's Response: Ah, the passageway. You know, it almost didn't make the cut because the way the chapter was structured, it didn't fit, so I was going to include it as a deleted scene. I kinda like it though so I'm glad I was able to re-work things so it could be included. Racy, yes, but I thought it was appropriate for a couple of horny teenagers ... though I will admit that it has weeded out a few people who were perhaps too young to be reading this story, because I had a few reviews saying it was "weird" or words to that effect. *grins*

As for the marauder code, well I've been told since I posted this that it's pretty much spot on for the unwritten "guy code" so, as ti was only a guess when I wrote it, I'm rather pleased with that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by doglover 

13th August 2010:
they are sooo cute together :)

Author's Response: Aw, glad you liked it! Yes, they are pretty cute together, aren't they? But I think the story needs some chapters like this one to balance out the more dramatic angsty ones.

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by always_dreaming 

26th March 2010:
i lose track of time and stuff. whats the date supposed to be, and how long have they been dating now? did they officially have sex? i'm a bit confused. what is the remus and charlotte status? does martha have a boyfriend now?

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, I would have thought that the chapter title would have given you a time frame for this one! We're in mid February, and they got together on Dec 17 (not counting the breakup) so they've been about 2 months. And no, you saw the extent of what they did. Laura's coy but she's not THAT coy, so when that happens you'll know about it.

As for Remus and Charlotte, well that's up in the air, as I think you now know from reading on. As for Martha, she's been single since she and Davy broke up at the Yule Ball, but she's happy with that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by desert_oasis 

24th February 2010:
YAY!! Im able to read these again!! Got my internet hooked up to the computer around noon when we got the modem. I moved... again cause justins uncle treated me like trash so we moved into a lovely little house in Tuttle.

I'm so freaking excited!! Good chapter, now I get to finish reading the new ones.

Author's Response: Hi again! Great to see you back again :D

I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you but if this story helps in any way then I'm very pleased about that. Now all I have to do is hope you like it! *crosses fingers*

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by ochalke5 

9th February 2010:
Finally! God! It's such a good story. I really like it mel, i don't know how else i can say it. Wow!!! It was sooo good!
10/10
I loved it so much!
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie! Thanks for reviewing again!

Ah, so do I take this review to mean that you don't mind the odd bit of fluff? Because, to be frank, I don't know that there was much else in this chapter, hence the warning in the summary. But I thought that there had been so much angst of late that it was time for a bit of fluff, considering this IS a romance. Anyway I'm very pleased that you liked it :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by JeanSyrotS 

7th February 2010:
Wow. Sirius and Laura's repashionship is coming right along.

You do that on purpose right? : Give just enough facts (ie setting the scene- the wet tshirt one-) but leave it open ended enough for the reader to create what they thought happened next...lol! evil! LOL!

aww and Sirius is such a gentleman at valentine; dosen't even count his fanmail...:) such a sweetheart!

thanks for the quick updates!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for another lovely review! :D

Ah, the wet t-shirt scene. To be honest I'm hamstrung by the ToS in that I cant' be at all specific or explicit with scenes like that, so it had to remain implied. But yeah, what's not spelled out is often all the more vivid in our imaginations, isn't it? Stephen King has proven that. So to answer your question, yes, I do do that on purpose. So much fun that way! *evil grin*

Glad you're still enjoying it, I lost a few readers over the whole break-up thing I think but it's lovely to see that some of you have persevered.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by pennyardelle 

4th February 2010:
Hi! Life has been moving in slow motion for me these days, but I figured that even if I can't get my own writing done all that fast, I should really still catch up on reviewing this chapter and the next one. Thanks for the comment and reassurance on my blog, by the way--I haven't been able to respond because there's something wonky going on with my account over on the forums.

Anyway, on to the review...fluff is not a bad thing! :) Personally, I have this tendency when I'm writing to want to twist things horribly wrong whenever it gets fluffy, but I do enjoy reading it. It's a nice break if there's been a lot of turbulence going on, and unfortunately that was the case for Sirius and Laura!

You know, I was really kind of impressed by Laura in that scene where Wendy had just kissed Sirius...I'm such a jealous person, if that were to happen to me, I'd be so angry. I thought it was actually quite telling in terms of how Laura's becoming more secure and comfortable in the relationship. I also thought you did a good job of portraying them as teenagers--more specifically, slaves to their hormones. ;) It was very realistic.

And, you know, I felt bad for Peter in this chapter. People can be so mean sometimes! From all we know about James and Sirius, I imagine it was sometimes very hard to be friends with them and live under that shadow all the time.

Anyway, good chapter! On to the next one. :)

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review! :D

Ah, you're most welcome about the blog thing. And I understand that a few people are having problems with forum access so I certainly wasn't feeling snubbed or anything, if that's what you're worried about. Let's face it, we all have real lives.

Anyway, I don't think that fluff is a bad thing, but I did think it was worthwhile putting the warning in the chapter summary because, let's face it, there was a lot of fluff in this particular chapter. And yes, a lot of hormones. Even if it HAS been a while since I was that age, I still remember what it was like so I've just been writing to those memories.

As for Wendy, well yes, that was certainly a way of showing Laura becoming more secure. Though, the fact that she didn't actually SEE the event is probably fortuitous, and the triumphant smile when she looked at Wendy was her way of saying, guess what, I've got him and you don't. Not overly mature, I admit, but then again they are teenagers. And the fact that it was Wendy, and thus a member of the fan club, was also something which helped her react that way because she KNOWS that Sirius isn't going to touch any of them with a ten foot pole.

But yes, she is certainly getting more secure in the relationship, which can only be a good thing because, as you've pointed out in previous reviews, she really has nothing to worry about from Sirius. It's actually been a bit tricky for me to write Laura being insecure because personally I'm the opposite - I've always figured that if someone didn't want to be with me then they wouldn't, so when people HAVE tried to make me jealous I've just laughed at it. Being insecure in a relationship is actually quite alien to me so I've seen it as a challenge to portray that accurately.

And yes, Peter. It would have been hard to be the tagalong for James and Sirius, and I show that a bit more in an upcoming chapter. I think they WERE fond of him, but he was the butt of their jokes more than he probably should have been, and that probably contributed to his decision to switch sides - the idea of getting one over them, making THEM the patsies for once, would have been very seductive I imagine. But maybe I'm rambling again ... I just find the whole thing quite intriguing, which you probably noticed!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by onlyforlove1996 

3rd February 2010:
Okayyy i think this story is just starting to get a little weird??? Like I like that Laura is pretty normal and doesnt know shes actually really likeable but I think the whole planned wet t-shirt thing is just kinda weird if you get what I mean. the story was definitely better before.

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review! I do love getting reviews from new people ... actually, I love all reviews, but you know what I mean. :D

Having said that, though, I'm afraid that I'm not entirely sure what you mean by weird. Laura certainly didn't plan the wet t-shirt thing, though she did come up with the no-bra as what she thought might be a different way of approaching Valentines Day. And I think that for Sirius it was spontaneous rather than planned, it was just what he thought of when they were in that passageway. Basically, it just felt like something that a couple of horny 18 year olds would do in that situation.

However, if you didn't like it or it didn't sit right with you, then I'm sorry. I hope that you will keep on reading on the off chance that it improves for you - I'm not entirely sure what you're looking for but I hope that somehow I achieve that. If not, though, I'd like to thank you for reading this far and for letting me know where I went wrong.

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by lilylvr 

2nd February 2010:
OMG i was so sure id put a review in here but i guess it didnt load. well, amazing chapter as always! :D i know most people dont really like fluff but i for one thought it was a great chapter(you are such a good writer , youll have to give me tips ;) )
i loved the love potion with peter. haha it rings a bell about ron and ramilda vane, no? haha! :D :D :D but it was good in the chapter!! i love how sirius was all frustrated because he wouldnt be able to make it to lunch because of lauras "suprise"!!! HAAHAHA which brings me to say that i luv how u describe the scenes between them , especially like the makeout sections *giggle*. u say it in such a way that it makes the reader, hm i dont know how to describe it!!! but what im really trying to say is that u describe things like wonderfully, so the reader knows about everything, but at the same time, not so much detail that u get bored or frustrated, if that makes sense at all?! hahaha i nver make much sense!!!
all in all, another excellent chapter (all ur chapters are great btw :D) and make sure u UPDATE SOON! i read this a while ago (srry it didnt load; i didnt know til now) so ive been checking everyday and i really REALLY want to read the next chapter!! SO BAD! :D so type away and make that next chapter!! or post it if uve already dont that!! hahaaha, ur #1 fan,
LILYLVR!
ps. 1092837569102938475653892 (exc.)/10 ! YAY!!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Yes, it was very fluffy, wasn't it? But after all the angst and tears I thought it was time for a bit of fluff to get the balance back again - this is a romance, after all. :)

Ah, that love potion and Peter. I admit JKR was an influence there, but like you said it worked with the chapter. And I'm glad you liked Laura's "surprise" - I thought it was time she got a little more proactive! :D

And I think you're trying to say that I can imply a lot without spelling it out, which is important considering the ToS - I can't be too explicit because it wouldn't be allowed. So there's a bit of a balance to be achieved there but if you think I'm doing that OK then thank you!

I'm about to load up the next chapter (like, in 5 minutes) so you'll see it soon enough. Oh, and if you don't want to keep checking for updates and you're on Twitter, do a search for the story name and you'll find me - I post on that whenever I load up a new chapter.

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by Boo 

1st February 2010:
Hey this is really good! i hope th next chapter gets uploaded soon, i really want to read it soon :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review! :)

Right. Next chapter. I still need to give it a final proofread which will hopefully happen today, and the chapter will be loaded up on Thursday at the latest. (GMT, by the way.) Not sure when, but in the next couple of days.

Now all I have to do is hope you like it ...

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by padfoot_rox 

1st February 2010:
ha!...a nice chapter with lots of fluff...the gigglers will never leave them alone, will they???...and it was really very good to have a chapter without any fights, misunderstandings...overall very nice...

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review! :D

Yes, lots of fluff in this chapter, which was why I worded the summary like I did. But after all the angst we've been having over the past few chapters I thought it was needed to balance it all out a bit - this is a romance, after all. :) Glad to see you appreciated that. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Sav 

31st January 2010:
Yes. This was the perfect thing to lighten up my day :)

Author's Response: Hi Sav! Thanks for reviewing again! :D

Ah, so pleased you liked it! I'm well aware that not everyone is into fluff so it's good that it's had a reasonable reaction. And like I said to other reviewers, there's been that much angst recently that I felt I needed to balance it out a bit and let my main two actually be happy and enjoy themselves for a little while.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by hp4eva786 

31st January 2010:
hi
i finally read the chapter. i had too many exams lately so it was nice to come home and find the story updated. the whole fluff stuff, not exactly my thing, im more into the angsty stuff but i get that you have to keep a good balance. it was a good chapter. laura and sirius and the rest kept me amused as always.

whats happening with mary and laura though, they dont seem to be as close as they used to be, well i suppose not, i mean i guess they did become friends with lily, the girls and the marauders. i think i just answered my own question ;-) but looking forward to any mary and laura talks, it would be nice for them to have a proper chat. they're too busy for us!

anyways great chapter. update soon

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review! :D

Ah, fluff. I'm well aware that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but then again this is a romance so you have to expect it occasionally. And like you said there has to be a balance, and there's been a fair amount of angst in recent chapters (especially considering I didn't list "angst" as one of the genres for the story) so I thought it was warranted.

With Mary, well as I've said to other people, when you get seriously involved in a relationship then the nature of your friendships tends to change a bit. You're not telling your best friend as much as you used to, or seeing them as much, because the new partner is starting to take that role. However, that doesn't stop you from still being friends, even if you're not as close. My best friend now is the same person who was my best friend at 17, but our relationship has changed as we've got older and married and had kids and the like. My husband is now my closest confidant, rather than her. But the friendship has survived, and tha'ts what I'm trying to convey with Laura and Mary - the friendship is still strong, but it has changed a little. Hope this helps!

I have however taken your request on board for a proper chat and, if there's not one coming up, I'll see if I can find a place to put one in for you.

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by saffy 

31st January 2010:
Yay update ! :)

ha ! very nice use of "Scourgify" :) When will these gigglers learn !?! but its nice laura and sirius can take it all in thier stride :)

Yes most of this chapter was fluff but i feel as a reader i desrve it i mean all the tension and the undoubtable unoptimistic end to which this story will have to come to i need some of this inconsequential action becuase you do write everything so well and its nice to see these charcters happy !

Yay for Mary :):):) she is one of my all time favourtie secondary characters i just love it whenever she pops up, im glad laura isnt neglecting her too much i mean they were so close orginally :)

Lovely chaoter, cant wait for the next one. Thankx ! :)

Author's Response: Hi Saffy! Thanks for another lovely review! :D

Ah, I think the gigglers will never learn. They do provide a nice bit of comic relief every now and then. But yes, Laura is getting much better at taking that sort of thing in her stride, though that didn't stop her from feeling triumphant and parading her position to poor Wendy.

And yes, I agree that there's been so much angst lately that a bit of fluff was warranted. LIke you said there can't be a happy ending to this story (we know that Sirius ends up in Azkaban, after all) so it's nice to get some in while we can.

And fear not, Mary won't disappear entirely. In fact, when proofreading chapters my new motto is, "when in doubt, just add Mary." It seems to be working so far. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by RoseParsons 

31st January 2010:
I enjoyed reading this story, SO much. You have a good plot, and I hope you update soon. However, just one tiny, miniscule thing: Well you know how Lilys mum has breast cancer- maybe bring that further into the story? Because when you look through it just seems abit random you know?:)

But Im adding to favourites & rating 10/10 ;)

Author's Response: Hi Rose! Thanks for the review! :D

Thanks for the suggestion about Lily's mum, too. I know that it's been a bit sporadic as far as references to it go - my excuse is that it's Laura's story and, as it doesn't really impact her, it hasn't had much of an airing. However there is some more of that coming up. I'm not sure if it's the sort of thing you're looking for but it is there. I do get what you mean, though, cancer is pretty big and maybe I should have given it more prominence.

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by bree101 

30th January 2010:
i love it! (:
im am SO addicted to this story!

Author's Response: Hi Bree! Thanks for the review! I do love getting reviews from new people ... actually, I love all reviews, but you know what I mean. *grins*

I'm so pleased that you're enjoying my story too! That's fantastic. To be honest I never thought that my little story idea would attract so much attention. Not that I'm complaining,of course, but it's still surprising.

Anyway the next chapter is due to be posted midweek, once I've finished my edits on it.

cheers, Mel



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