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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by girly1393 

13th May 2011:
God, it's so damn depressing, isn't it?

Bravo to you.

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Review #2, by spangles 

14th February 2010:
I don't mind you spoiling the next chapter, you ought to prepare us for all these deaths. I was excited to see Voldemort in this chapter, it's the first time we've actually seen him and I'm really hoping you have him in a fight soon as the 'thrice defied' thing for James and Lily and Frank and Alice. And of course, I'm pumped for the wedding of James and Lily too. I'm pumped for your whole story pretty much (except the part where Peter goes to the Dark Side.) 11/10

Author's Response: You're right we will be seeing more of Voldemort soon. It was too early in the war prior to this to go dragging him into things - at least that's what I gathered from Harry's time - he never seemed too involved in his war until the very end.

hehe, I am kind of excited about writing the wedding myself. Also a little scared, though. Weddings can be so boring sometimes..


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Review #3, by spaghettiemandolino 

14th January 2010:
The part I preferred was dinner. I love when you describe their closeness...such a romantic I am..
The war is getting worse and worse and it reminds me of Remus words in book 5, he says the Death Eaters were tracking them one by one.
Not your best, but still good job!

Author's Response: LOL I like those parts, too, but for some reason, they are so hard to write. I don't know, maybe it's because of idle conversation and trying to think of things for them to do that are actually worth writing about. Especially when I try to do it multiple times throughout the story, and have to make each one different!

The war IS getting worse, but there will soon be a bit of a reprieve. The Dark side is failing at nearly everything they try, and they'll probably end up falling back a little to regroup.

Not my best?? lol. Meh, they can't ALL be, I suppose :D


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Review #4, by Lily 

13th January 2010:
I'm sorry, I know this is my 3rd review for the same chapter, but I was thinking - much earlier in the story, Lily's boss tried to cast the Imperius curse on her, and she deflected it with a simple shield charm. Sirius thought it was weird, but you kind of left it at that. Will you continue with that? It was weird magic, and I'm curious to know how Lily did it.

Author's Response: Thats okay. Yeah, she did deflect that one with a simple shield charm. I had a plan for that whole ordeal, but I am not sure now if I am going to follow through with it or not, I might do something different now, or I might not.

Anyway, either way, her deflecting that spell was nothing more than her skill at Charms. Ollivander said her wand was exceptionally good for Charms, and I figure her charms would be more powerful because of it, whether simple or not. That's all :)


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Review #5, by Lily 

13th January 2010:
I forgot to mention Petunia's wedding - that sounded EXACTLY like it would've happened. I can visualize Vernon and his family standing there smugly, in a huge fancy church, and bony Petunia in her wedding dress. The wedding was well-written.

Author's Response: Thank you! I think her wedding turned out better than I had planned for, and I'm really pleased it was enjoyable. Personally, I find weddings a little boring, so I'm always glad when I can pull one off :) And I could visualize Vernon and his family, too - very well, in fact, which is probably why it turned out. It was like watching a movie in my mind :P

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Review #6, by Lily 

13th January 2010:
Great chapter! I loved it.
Edgar's death was so sad! It was different for Moody to really show affection for something, most of the time he's so emotionally detached. His grief made the whole thing even sadder. In my opinion, killing Edgar that way made it more interesting.
The part when you told the story from Voldemort's point of view was different, too, I don't think you've done that before in this story. You wrote it really well, it really sounded like Voldemort was thinking/doing those things.

Author's Response: Thanks! I figured Moody must have had friends here and there, he never seemed to have any in the books, but he must have gotten along well with somebody. Edgar seemed a good choice. I tried not to overdo it, though. It IS Moody after all.

You're right, I haven't written from Voldemort/the Dark side's POV yet, and this was the first time. I'm most likely going to do it a few more times here and there, particularly surrounding the prophecy and Peter and all. Glad he sounded right, he's really tough to write!! Even Dumbledore was easier.


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Review #7, by Fairytale12 

13th January 2010:
I haven't reviewed in a bit but I wanted to thank you for updating. I just really love this story and I was afraid maybe you were going to leave it unfinished, I'm glad that's not the case. But yes I really enjoyed these chapters. I love how your story has so much action but also so much depth and heart to it. These past few chapters I especially liked the Minister plot and Petunia's wedding and when Lily sees the Marauders as her family. Anyways, keep up the good work. I eargerly await an update.

Author's Response: Thanks for coming back to review! I won't leave this story unfinished - I have put too much into it already, and it's not even half done yet. Sometimes I just have a hard time getting my muse to work :) I'm thrilled you are enjoying the depth to this - when I first started this, I knew I wanted to make it more detailed and with some meanings and lessons to learn. And I'm also glad you're enjoying the recent turn of events - up until now, its just been an attack or battle here or there, but now I'm starting to get into a little bit more of an actual plot, with one thing leading to another and so on.

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Review #8, by Lizzie 

13th January 2010:
I could feel the prissiness coming through the page when they were at Petunia's wedding. It was all a show and I could feel myself cringing inwardly when I was reading it, certainly nothing I would ever want to go to or want to be apart of. And I really do feel for Lily, the poor girl just wants a family and now I guess she has realised that those boys and the Order are her family. Its a hard realisation when your own blood treats you like shit and you need to find a new one. I'm thoroughly glad though, that Lily has them and they have her.

And poor Sirius with Lily jumping all over him and not knowing how to react. But I absolutely love those moments when you get together with friends and just sit, eat, enjoy each others company without having to go out or watch a movie. I mean, just seriously enjoying each other company and that came across lovely in your story. It was wonderful and a good comedic relief.

Author's Response: whoops :) but hey, 260 reviews?? lol

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Review #9, by Lizzie 

13th January 2010:
I could feel the prissiness coming through the page when they were at Petunia's wedding. It was all a show and I could feel myself cringing inwardly when I was reading it, certainly nothing I would ever want to go to or want to be apart of. And I really do feel for Lily, the poor girl just wants a family and now I guess she has realised that those boys and the Order are her family. Its a hard realisation when your own blood treats you like shit and you need to find a new one. I'm thoroughly glad though, that Lily has them and they have her.

And poor Sirius with Lily jumping all over him and not knowing how to react. But I absolutely love those moments when you get together with friends and just sit, eat, enjoy each others company without having to go out or watch a movie. I mean, just seriously enjoying each other company and that came across lovely in your story. It was wonderful and a good comedic relief.

Author's Response: I'm glad you could feel the prissiness (lol), I didn't want it to be a joyful experience by any means, and I'm absolutely thrilled that the general attitude of Vernon and his family has shone through. It was more of an awakening for Lily than anything else, and I think she's going to let Petunia go for a little while and focus on other things.

I enjoy those moments, too, where they are all just doing nothing but being together. I think this story needs a lot of moments like that to balance out some of the intensity lol. They haven't had a lot of time for that sort of thing - obviously I can't write every single Order meeting, but I would guess that most nights were spent in them, and they might have only rarely had a day off.


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Review #10, by auror_snape 

12th January 2010:
This makes more sense, actually. If he was with his family when they were all killed, they would have had a much greater chance of at least one person surviving unless it was Voldemort who did it personally. But from the female laughter, I'm guessing Bellatrix alone, unless her comrades kept silent. Which I doubt.

Author's Response: I liked it better to have them all done separately, plus it does something a little different than what I did with the McKinnons. I'm glad you think it makes more sense, too - I don't know why Lexicon jumps to conclusions like that.

Anyway, yep, it was meant to be Bellatrix. I guess others could have been there, but then, it was really only a one person job, so unlikely. So, just her alone. (The books never said who killed Susan's relatives - just that it was one of the escaped death eaters from Azkaban, and I figure I haven't had Bellatrix in this story enough).


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Review #11, by KaiaRose 

11th January 2010:
So sad! I enjoyed ever minute of it.

Author's Response: Thanks so much :D

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Review #12, by Moonylupin 

11th January 2010:
I had to do a double take when I saw this was updated, but it was a good surprise! I just checked the lexicon before I finished reading this and it really isn't a spoiler for you to mention it. The Lexicon actually quotes the book now, and you can really interpret it in either way. Either they got them all at the same time or they got them all, but separately. I think it's better to have him killed at the Ministry and his family elsewhere, it gives off a feeling of helplessness, kind of, that he couldn't be there to protect them. I did it differently, but I like that you had him killed at the Ministry alone.

I felt so sad for Lily when she was at Petunia's funeral, that she felt she couldn't even show herself (because that definitely wouldn't have gone over well) And in reply to you asking if it was Petunia's wedding crashed in your reply to my last review - yes, it was her wedding. I loved how James believes that if Petunia was marrying anyone other than Vernon her wedding would have been more low key. It does make sense. Petunia isn't a wonderful person by any means, but I think Vernon influences the side of her that likes to show off. It was sweet when they got back home and Lily told Sirius that he and James's friends were really her only family. It was sad that she couldn't include her own sister in that, but sweet to see that she thought of them that way.

It was sad to see Edgar die. He's really not a character we know anything about, but it's still sad to see part of the Order die. You can tell this is really taking a toll on all of the Order. I would never expect to see Moody say anything wearily, but I can't blame him. Benjy's reaction struck me the most, just by the way he had to say he was sorry. I don't know why, but it did. Anyway, excellent chapter! I can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: I know. i was in the mood to write all day yesterday, but my husband was off work and that makes it hard. Today, I wasn't in quite as much of the mood, but I made myself just sit down and do it. I am unsure of what page you looked at on the Lexicon - I looked at the one for the entire Bones family, and it said he was killing along with his entire family. I like having it separate also, though - not only for what you said, but also because I already had Marlene's family killed altogether and its good to do something different. After I read your review, I went and looked for your chapter mentioning Edgar's death, but I couldn't find it! can you owl me on the forums and let me know which chapter?

I thought about having Lily show herself, but I really didn't think she would want to ruin the day for her sister, either way. Lily will let Petunia know she was there later on down the road. I think Lily still has a long way to go to get close with all the Marauders, but I figure I better get started on bringing them together a little more now.

I hate writing the deaths of these characters we don't know. I just don't have the time or imagination to write personal little snippets for every one of them, you know? So it sucks writing them; I feel like the reader can't really miss them as much as I want them to, or as much as the Order does. Oh well. Taking a toll for sure, that's 2 down so far.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #13, by pennyardelle 

11th January 2010:
Well, you managed to get me to laugh at the very beginning. There you were, going through all this nice, romantic description of the wedding, and then, "It was horrible." :P That was a good effect. I did think the description was quite well done, though, particularly the part where James was linking together separate incidents in his mind when he looked at the roses.

I also really liked the way Lily has decided that Sirius, Remus, and Peter are a part of her family. It makes sense, since the letter Harry finds in Deathly Hallows give the impression that she, and not just James, was very close with them. And remembering that letter, I'm interested to see if this whole wedding business will somehow bring Lily and Petunia slightly closer together--after all, Petunia does send her that vase.

(I'm stealing your trademark here for a slight aside. I noticed that instead of "Crucio," you'd written "Crucify." Seems like your brain was determined to use a REAL word. :P )

Poor Edgar. :( He didn't even have the chance to defend himself! You really did create a very creepy effect when you were describing the moments before his death. At the same time, you made him more human and more sympathetic by describing his family, which was good because we haven't been given the chance (for obvious reasons) to get too attached to his character. And I really just felt awful for Moody, too. You did a very good job of keeping him in-character but still communicating the anguish he was feeling.

I really enjoyed the last little exchange there, as well, especially what Caradoc said: "I think they're getting rather frustrated." It was simple, but a very poignant way to end the chapter. I did really get a sense in this chapter that circumstances are getting a little more dire.

Very nice read, as always! Thanks for posting the chapter. :)

Author's Response: I feel nerdy for responding instantly, but I am still online, so why not? Poor James, it WAS horrible for him, even if it was meant to be nice! XD lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the rose part in particular. When my dad died, there were roses everywhere - that was in 2002, and I still can't stand the smell of roses anymore.

You are right on about Lily and Petunia. I have the vase in mind. Petunia doesn't know that Lily was there, but I can tell you they will learn to get along again. They won't hang out and be bffl's, perhaps, but they will get along, at least. I also think lily was pretty close to the other Marauders too. In the end, each other was pretty much all they had with the deaths of parents and such.

Thanks for pointing out the error - thats what I get for not using a beta, and also what I get for being so thrilled with myself that I post before double checking it :) I'm impatient like that, and I wrote this whole thing this morning. Anyway, I'll change it as soon as I'm done with this response! If you see any more errors, let me know, because as I dont use a beta, I kind of need all the help I can get!

I feel bad for all these minor characters that are dying. There is so much going on that I really don't have the time (unless I want 10k word chapters) or energy to devote to really letting people get to know the characters. But anyway, I was actually thinking of some of the paranormal type of shows I've watched on TV, as well as the way Bellatrix is portrayed in the movies. Glad you liked that part, I did want it to be scary!

I've got this thing planned to where things are going to drop off a little and die out, as Voldemort might realise he's not going to win. So Caradoc's statement is actually pretty important to show that Voldemort isn't having much success, that the Order is actually rather successful even if it doesn't seem that way yet. Of course there will be the mighty comeback after the prophecy, with the traitor and all.

Anyhoo. Thanks for the long review, i've started to look forward to yours especially :D And I'd like to come read your story, but I think it might be smarter to hold off a while so as not to be influenced or anything.


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