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39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by instantramen 

13th May 2012:
I screamed "FINALLY!" really loudly when they jfdngvjksnefkgnseriojktfg. The looks I received- Wooh. I've been reading your story for a while now and I love it! You're an amazing writer and I get excited every time i read a new chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hahaha, sorry for making you wait so long! Although I do hope it was worth it, in the end. :) I'm so glad to hear you've enjoyed the story, and I appreciate the review!

(I like your username, by the way!)


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Review #2, by classicblack 

11th December 2011:
Awww, they're finally together- and in such an adorable way. I really loved the simplicity and sweetness of this chapter. Wonderful job! Lily and James are just too cute!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad to hear you loved it, and that it was sweet and adorable. :) I was really worried when I posted this chapter that it would disappoint somehow, so it's always nice to hear when readers enjoyed it.

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by momotwins 

27th September 2011:
*swoons* LOVE. LOVE IT! You are brilliant and awesome. This is my favorite chapter. Sheer fabulous romance.

Author's Response: So, this was seriously one of the most exciting things to hear...because YOU are brilliant and awesome! Especially when it comes to romance. :)

Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you liked the story, and particularly this chapter.


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Review #4, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
I went over all giddy when James and Lily kissed, it was so perfectly awkward and delightful all at once. I could practically feel the same butterflies in my stomach as they both must have felt.

And the 'Lily, my girlfriend' banter was so cute too. I love how you write, and that you never miss a beat with them.

Author's Response: This was the first time I ever went back and re-read this chapter--I don't know why, but after writing it, I always felt uncomfortable about revisiting it! Anyway, the first thing I noticed as I read through was that there were so many typos in this! Good lord. But thanks for making me want to go back and read it, because now I don't really know why I was uncomfortable about reading it! :P

Like I said in the last response, I'm so glad that you feel I delivered on all the tension I built up. What a relief! :)

Thanks again!


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Review #5, by HartOfARebel 

8th March 2011:
*huge cheesy grin on face*

Author's Response: That is EXACTLY what I was hoping to achieve with this chapter. Now I'm the one with a huge, cheesy grin on MY face!

Thank you!


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Review #6, by lily_evans_ginny_weasley 

4th February 2011:
It was just lovely :) Got to keep reading now...

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that chapter...I felt like there was a lot of pressure to deliver since I had put their first date off for a while! :)

Thanks again!


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Review #7, by doglover 

4th January 2011:
the swing thing was so adorable!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad whenever anyone associates the word "adorable" with this chapter. After getting really excited about the fact that I could finally write them going on a date, I had many moments of, "Oh, man, I have to write them going on a date. What am I going to DO?!?" :P So it's always nice to hear that this chapter turned out well.

Thanks again!


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Review #8, by AlPadfootPotter96 

20th December 2010:
This is so adorable!! Again - I'm so glad they got together! Who! :)

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you thought this was adorable! I had a hard time trying to write this and live up to all the build-up I'd created. It's always so nice to hear that someone liked this chapter!

Thanks again!


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Review #9, by Ellie 

14th December 2010:
PERFECT. Great story ♥♥♥♥♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was one chapter that I felt pretty pressured to get right, so it makes me very happy to hear you call it "perfect". :D

So glad you liked it, and thanks again for all the reviews!


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Review #10, by TheBattleOfHogwarts 

14th December 2010:
Oh my god, they kissed! That was soo sweet. I loved the bit on the swings, it was sooo adorable!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like this chapter--"sweet" and "adorable" are EXACTLY what I was going for. :D This was really such a tough chapter to write; I felt like there was a lot of pressure to get it perfectly right. It's always a relief to have someone tell me they liked it!

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #11, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
This was a terribly wonderful chapter. I feel buoyed and light and happy after reading this.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so so happy that you liked this chapter. I felt like I had built up to it for so long that I was sure to disappoint, but I'm thrilled that it made you feel light and happy--that was exactly what I intended!

Thank you!


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Review #12, by Flower n Prongs 

13th July 2010:
That was such a sweet first date. =) I loved the little Snidgets flying around, it sounded so cute. I'm glad that they finally got together, it was worth the wait.

Author's Response: I'm SO glad to hear that it was worth the wait! When I was writing this chapter, I definitely felt like I had a lot to live up to, and I wasn't sure if I was going to end up disappointing everyone. It's always such a relief to hear that this was a good read. :) So thank you very much!

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Review #13, by happy_person 

2nd July 2010:
YAAY! i thought it was great! the swing set thing was a bit of a cliche, but those are my favourites ;D nice work, well done!

Author's Response: By the time I got to writing this chapter, I felt like I had worked up to it so much that I was inevitably going to let everyone down. :P Luckily, it seems that I did okay with it! I'm so happy to hear you thought it was great.

Ah, yes, cliches...well, I try to avoid them as much as I can, but there are just some that I just can't resist. And in those cases, I just hope I write it well enough that people won't roll their eyes TOO much at me. :P

I just want to say that I'm really, really sorry it took me so long to reply to your reviews...I was feeling a bit ashamed at my lack of updating and so was guiltily avoiding my reviews. I really appreciated hearing your thoughts on the story, though, and I hope the "better late than never" phrase will apply in this situation. ;) Thanks again!


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Review #14, by Helena 

6th June 2010:
OMG this was PERFECT really :D their first kiss!! awesome :D

Author's Response: WHEW! This chapter was a tough one to write, so it's always really encouraging for me to hear that people thought it turned out well. It's such a pivotal moment, and I felt like it would be very easy to get horribly wrong...but if you think it's perfect, that makes me very happy!

Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!


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Review #15, by dianne 

31st May 2010:
oh this is just lovely! i love this chapter sooo much! really sweet and wonderful! really romatic and ideal :)) i just hope they don't break up or anything.

Author's Response: Hi, dianne! Thank you so much for the review. :)

I'm so glad you thought this was sweet and romantic! It was one of the chapters I had a little more trouble figuring out. It was a big, pivotal moment in the story, and I definitely felt like I had to get it right. It's really just so nice to hear you enjoyed it!

As for break-ups, I don't plan on it anytime soon. ;) I think James and Lily would have had so much else to deal with in their lives with the war and everything, and I try to spare them from the romantic drama in addition to that. It won't always be perfect, of course, but I don't intend to make it get really unpleasant at any point. :)

Thank you again!


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Review #16, by missfeltonx 

6th May 2010:
i really liked this chapter, but that might just have something to do with me being the cheesey romantic that i am lol :)
but it was really wel writen and the feelings were portrayed really well :)
its an amazing story :) x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for the review.

Haha, I'm a romantic at heart, too, so you're not alone. :) I'm so glad you hear that you liked it and found it well-written! It was a difficult chapter for me to write to the point where I was happy with it, and it's always nice to know that other people like it as well.

Thanks again!


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Review #17, by Ana 

2nd May 2010:
I really liked this chapter your romance writing is ok id rather read this than the deep description of how her toung felt against his cheek so very well done

Author's Response: Hahaha, yes, that was exactly what I meant when I was wondering about whether I'd done an okay job. I feel really weird writing descriptions like that, and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one. :)

Thank you so much for the review again! I hope you like the rest of the story.


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Review #18, by CaribouProngs 

19th April 2010:
I love that James took her to see the Snidgets! It's the kind of brilliant idea that James really would have had.
The problem with kissing scenes is that if you describe it too little, people usually draw very inaccurate assumptions (although really, what are we SUPPOSED to think when Harry returns A HALF AN HOUR later to the common room in the fifth book?). And the problem with describing them in great detail is that it can seem a little pornographic. I'd say yours was pretty acceptable. I'm kind of nervous to read the next chapter in case Snape was lurking around and tries to kill James or something... Hopefully I'm just being pessimistic.

Author's Response: I'm happy to hear you liked the visit to the Snidget Reserve. I wanted to think up something a little more unique than Hogsmeade (which wouldn't have fit the timing, anyway) or going out to a meal. This seemed to me a little quirky, and vaguely Quidditch-related, so therefore something that might occur to James as a great place to go on a date.

Yes, that's very true, about kissing scenes. My problem is that when I try to go into any detail at all, it just sounds disgusting in written words. :P I think that's likely more a reflection of something that needs improvement within my own writing, but really, if the word "tongue" is involved...ack. Haha. I'm glad that what I wrote was okay; like I said, this is definitely an area where I could stand to improve my description greatly.

I can understand why you would think I might kill the lovely moment. I do that. A lot. It's a natural urge of mine. I've even discovered recently that I really like to make the awful moments even worse, so clearly, I have issues. Haha. But this time, I pushed away that urge, and, as you saw, let the happy moment stand alone. :)

Thanks again!


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Review #19, by Prongs and Lils 

4th March 2010:
the whole thing was perfect!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Perfect? Oh, I'm sure you must be exaggerating. :P That's such a kind thing of you to say, though, and I'm really happy to know that you're continuing to enjoy the story.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #20, by TheBrightSideofSiriusBlack 

11th February 2010:
You're probably getting sick of all my reviews especially since I'm way behind in your story but I thought this scene may have been a bit cheesy. It was cute though. I liked it.

Author's Response: Well, I never, ever get sick of reviews, believe me. They're fantastic! As you may have noticed, I love responding to them, and often get carried away babbling about different things. And it doesn't matter to me at all whether you're on chapter one or the newest one, or somewhere in between. I'm always really impressed by people who review as they go along, because usually I just can't muster the energy to do that. I like to find a story early on and stick with it, or else I'll just read all the chapters in one go and leave a single review. So, the fact that you're leaving me these reviews is really great! :)

On to your comments: I think you probably have a valid point there, though if you do get the chance, it would be fantastic if you could point out what it was that seemed cheesy to you. I would like to edit some things in this story at some point, and as this is a particularly important chapter, I'd love to make it as strong as I possibly can. The same goes for the rest of the story as well (if you keep reading)--feel free to point out things you think could be improved!

Anyway, though, these romantic moments are difficult to get right, mostly because everyone has their own preferences. I have this tendency to want to kill fluffy moments when I'm writing them. I'm sure some people would find this sickeningly romantic and flowery, while other would think that it wasn't romantic enough. And there there are readers like yourself, who recognize moments of corniness but still find it cute and like it overall. :) It's a tricky business, this romance stuff. But as long as you generally liked it, I'm happy with that!

Thank you so much for the review! Hope you like the following chapters!


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Review #21, by RainbowVeins 

18th January 2010:
AW amazing chpt loved just absoluletly LOVED it :D

Author's Response: :) Thanks! I'm very glad that you loved this one, as it is just a little important to the story. :P I didn't want to disappoint anyone's expectations, so it's always wonderful to get positive feedback on this one!

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Review #22, by Lucifers Daughter 

12th January 2010:
I thoguht the kissing scene was rather nice:) Sweet and nice. And there was another thing I thought about, can't remember if it was this chapter or the previous one, but I am pretty sure that Sirius stayed with the Potters every holliday after their sixth year, when I ran away from home. So I am not sure if you made a cannon mistake about the flat, or if you just made it up so you had more possibilities, but I just thought I'd point it out.

Excellent chapter, as usual, though:) I must say, I really love your story. The way you have developed their relationship and that whole thing, much better than some other L/J fics I have read. So thumbs up for that!

Author's Response: Hi again! I'm glad you're still loving the story. I've tried to be very careful about keeping the development of their relationship realistic, so I'm very happy to hear that you're enjoying the way I've written it. :) I'm glad you thought the kissing stuff was nice...I was kind of unsure about it, and it's very encouraging to hear good feedback!

Now, about Sirius. The timeline and details of this part of his life are open to interpretation, but there are a few things we know. First, from what's been pieced together about the age he went to Azkaban at and the years he was at Hogwarts, it looks like he was born between September and November of 1959--so he was nearly 12 by the time he started at Hogwarts (like Hermione was as well), and so he actually would have turned 16 early in his fifth year. Anyway, that's not really essential to know, besides the fact that it means that he likely ran away from home in the summer after his fifth year.

There are really only a few references made to what his living situation was after that. First, as you mentioned, he went to live with James and his parents on holidays. But Sirius also tells Harry that his Uncle Alphard left him an inheritance (which was why Alphard was burned off the family tree), and that he was able to use that gold to buy his own place when he was 17. So, based on his birth year, he would have had to have bought it somewhere between November of his sixth year and November of his seventh year. I thought it would make the most sense for him to have bought it over the summer. The other detail we have from Sirius is that he was still welcome in the Potters' home, even after he was able to live on his own.

While the concept of Sirius having his own apartment/house/some kind of dwelling definitely has a basis in canon, I can understand some skepticism there. I mean, James is his best friend, so why WOULDN'T he want to just continue staying at his house on holidays? The only answer I can give is my own speculation, based on what I've seen of Sirius: I imagine that he would have been very grateful for all of the Potters' kindness, but also a little bit ashamed or embarrassed that he needed their help in the first place. I think he would have welcomed some kind of independence, and the knowledge that he could stand on his own two feet. He wouldn't have to feel like the "runaway" anymore. Of course, I imagine he still would have spent time over holidays at James' house, and he has at points throughout the story, but I do think it would have comforted him to have his own place to live.

Whew! Sorry, I talk too much in these responses. :P Thanks for pointing that out, though--I really enjoy going through this sort of thing, because it makes me explain my reasoning and double-check on the facts. It is a subject that's up for debate, though, so you don't have to take my word for it!

Thanks very much for the review! I really appreciate you taking the time to write down some feedback for me. :)


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Review #23, by Somebody 

11th January 2010:
Oh my gosh I'm just about to burst reading this chapter! It was absolutely amazing!

Author's Response: :) I'm very glad you hear that you liked this chapter. It's sort of an important one, so I felt a lot of pressure to write it well, and I really had my fingers crossed that people would enjoy it!

Thanks for another review!


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Review #24, by Leigh Kelley 

9th January 2010:
I have been so incredibly terrible at reviewing as of late. I think the holidays ate my reviewing groove, but anyway. I did read this when you first posted it (congrats on becoming a TA! I know you'll do well with the privilege.), but I just couldn't review it even though I wanted to. Enough of that though. I'm here now :).

James is acting just how I would imagine someone who has been wanting to date someone else for so long would. His wanting everything to be perfect, his happiness at the thought of it, and his nervousness as well. You captured all of it perfectly. I like that his friends came over, if not to get the dirt on where he's going to take Lily, but to distract him for a while. Because, as Sirius said, he's terrible with girls. And I figure he'd be even worst with Lily, someone he really likes.

I'm still curious as to what is wrong with his father. It's a recurring theme, and I feel its something really bad. That whatever it is will eventually claim his life. I just really hate that his parents are being so tight-lipped about it. I understand not wanting to worry your children, but sometimes telling them the bad stuff is better. Can't always shelter them. But, I guess the only child thing and how proper his Mum seems to be does does play a part in it all.

Lily's reaction to going to see Snidgets was spot on as well. It does seem like something that he enjoys, as if he didn't put much thought into it aside from that. To her, anyways. I guess she would have expected a more...common date. But, the way you described it all does make it sound like an awesome date. Definitely unique, sweet, and James couldn't have been a better person to be on a date with. I'm glad it all went how he wanted it to have.

The park scene was cute. It takes us back to the scene from the books, and I like that you included it. It's so incredibly child-like, but it does bring them closer together. He's experiencing something from her childhood, and I'm sure she'll forever remember it. Even without the kiss.

But the kiss! It finally happened. They're finally together, and it doesn't feel anticlimactic at all. You included just enough to have the reader smiling, and happy that the moment we've been anticipating for so long has finally come. I don't think your descriptions were vague. Given your story rating, anything more would have been too much, methinks. And definitely not cheesy.

"I was at a clear advantage because I'm taller..." - That line confused me because of what came after. Shouldn't it be 'disadvantage'? Unless I missed something and read it wrong.

Anyway, lovely chapter. Great dialogue, especially the lines before the kiss. Reading on!

~Leigh

Author's Response: Leigh! :) I'm always so glad to hear from you.

First off, yes, you are right, that line has a typo. :S Considering how many times I edited that area of the chapter, I feel really silly for never noticing it! I'll change it as soon as possible, and thank you for pointing it out! I am glad to hear you liked the dialogue in that section, though, despite the slight confusion. :P

I'm also really happy to hear that the kiss scene wasn't cheese and was well-described. It really is a strange thing to write, at least for me, so I'm glad it worked out. And, as you mentioned, I do have the added worry about whether certain things are appropriate for the rating. Thanks for the congratulations! :) I was actually somewhat surprised to read the 15+ tutorials, though, and realize how far you can actually take it in a story with the same ratings as mine.

I'm glad you liked the date and Lily's feelings about it, too. I thought I would change things up a bit and take it to a more unique location. (Oh, how convenient it would have been to have a Hogsmeade weekend! Haha.) And I did manage to let things go well for James and not spoil it somehow, which is my general tendency. :P

I'm so, so happy that you thought I characterized James well, actually. I think you're right that his friends showed up to help distract him from his nerves, and also that he didn't put too much thought into the whole date. I figure that's kind of a typical guy thing, to not get all flowery and romantic about things.

As for James' parents, they possess a flaw that many other parents do--a tendency to go overboard when it comes to protecting their child(ren). Like you mentioned, I imagine their age, the traditional values that would likely have gone along with that, and James being the only child would have all contributed to the tendency towards sheltering. I don't know why, but I can never buy James' parents as the sweet, doting senior citizens, even though I know JKR has said they pampered James. Anyway, this won't be the last time they make appearances, and I really do find them interesting to write about.

Somehow I ended up working backwards in that response. :P I'm so glad you liked the chapter, and, as always, I look forward to hearing what you think of the others. Thank you so, so much for making some time in your busy reviewing schedule for me!


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Review #25, by Reggie 

1st January 2010:
:) so I have just found your story and have actually spent like 3 hours reading the whole thing straight through.
which is evidence that I love it.

you take all the best parts of the cheesy James/Lily and make it fantasticly non-cheesy and completely original.

I love the relationship between Lily and Petunia. I first noticed it when Petunia warned Lily about being out late alone but I was in the zone and couldnt stop reading to review. I love the way Petunia sutbly worries for her.

I also love Lily's relationship with her friends. You've really respected that Lily was friends with Snape so she isn't unrealisticly close to the girls. The feeling where Lily is a thirdwheel is much more relatable than life-long BFFs.

Loveee it.
And you seem to be extremely quick with updates which I am very much looking forward too :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for reviewing the story!

Wow, that's so wonderful and flattering that you loved it enough to read it all in one sitting! It is quite a monster in terms of word count, so I'm always impressed whenever someone reads it through so quickly. And you've made me so happy by saying that I've managed to make the story original, since this plot line has been done sooo many times.

I'm really pleased that you like Lily & Petunia's dynamic. I find it to be so interesting, given the few details in the books about them. At first it seemed like Petunia hated her, but as the books went along, the relationship became much less black-and-white, and much more interesting as a result. I'm glad you picked up on the way Petunia was a bit worried for Lily--as an older sibling, I can imagine that, even if I didn't like one of my brothers or sister, I would still worry for them in small ways.

I'm also really glad to hear that you think Lily's friendships with Mary and Anna are realistically written. I really do think that Lily wouldn't have formed close friendships with other people and more thought of the other girls as "backup friends," and certainly not people that she would confide anything serious in. I feel it also explains why there were never any mentions of Lily's school friends in the books, apart from Snape, and I suppose Mary, although it's not even really specified in that small mention whether she was Lily's friend or not. That's just me extrapolating from canon. :)

I really am so thrilled that you love the story. I try my best to be fast with updates, but now that school is looming, it might take me a little longer. I hope you'll still come back and review when chapters do go up, though!

Thanks again!


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