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19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Capella Black 

8th August 2011:
Of course, they'd bond over trivia! Really nice interplay between the Hermiones in this chapter, and I just loved 'Mione's response to the portrait of Snape. I also loved dumbledore's reaction to each of them. He was perfectly in character, being both insightful and discreet, focussing on getting the important things said. Very Dumbledore.

The addition of brooms to the action scenes also shows a real skill - each action scene feeling fresh and compelling. Do you draw them out, or can you just see it in your head? Either way, they really work!

Still hopelessly addicted!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Addicted?! Wow. THANKS!!

I couldn't resist the Hermione/Mione bonding moment over trivia. Glad you liked that!

The scene with Dumbledore's portrait (and Snapes "GIT!" LOL) got a rewrite about a month ago. When I saw you were reading, I moved my editing time table up and rapidly began to graft in as many edits as I could so you'd get a good piece of the polished version. So, you're the first to review the new and improved scene. Again, VERY flattered you liked it!

Action scenes. I do actually see it in my head. But its funny - I usually only start with a sharp, but short, image of the scene. As I write, I start to see it all play out more fully in my head, like a movie.

For instance, right now I have a plot bunny that's not going away and I see it like a movie. The Quartet are running through a forest and...well, I digress.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this!

Eldy


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Review #2, by LilyGreenEyes 

28th April 2011:
A brilliant high action chapter, it started like it, ended like it, and was just a brilliant read! I found myself skipping bits cause I was so eager to reach the end and find out what was happening!

I love the idea of the Hit Wizards, it's just so out the box I would never have thought to have another elite force in the Ministry, although when I look at the army etc, I suppose it would be inevitable in the wizarding world too!

It was good to see some old faces appearing, like McGonagall and Dumbledore, you know how I like my portaits being given a chance to get in on the action ;)

The airborne battle, and the time in the Acromantula's den was brilliant to read, I love a bit of drama, but those spiders don't half freak me out, I was shuddering as I was reading! Like Ron, I have a real 'thing' about spiders ;)

It was lovely to finally see the Hermione's getting on with each other, even if it was short lived because of the Talisman! I'm so excited to see where this story is going that I have abandoned hope of writing anything of my own today and devoting the time to read yours because I am so incredibly hooked that I just cannot stop reading!

That said, I'm off for another chapter, and if my mother kills me because I abandoned my chores too I'm blaming you ;)

Author's Response: This action-chapter happened for two reasons: First, the previous three chapters were heavy on exposition - very. they were also fairly emotionally draining. Second, a trip to Hogwarts almost ALWAYS requires a long exposition chapter.

So, I decided to launch an attack that would prevent everyone from sitting in McG's office and having a Long talk over tea. It really seemed the only solution as to how to make this an action and not ANOTHER expo chapter. So, in short, I cheated. I created a rivalry between the hit wizards and the aurors (one that I capitalize on and expand/explain in more detail in "Battle of the Pitch").

I'm glad you liked the result. And, hehehe, yep, in retrospect, I can see how you'd like the portraits getting their time in the sun.

As for the spiders, I'm right there with you and Ron. Argg!

So, now I'm getting you in trouble with your mum, eh? I refuse to take the blame. ;)

Eldy


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Review #3, by Mintleaf 

15th April 2011:
Ah! Mione and Hermione agreeing in something :)

'After all, we’re one big happy Ministry.' - This line actually made me laugh out loud haha.

Again, the battle was so concise and easy to follow! I loved seeing McGonagall too; I love her so much haha!

Author's Response: Glad you liked seeing McG. She is pretty cool, and I wouldn't mess with her.

The fight scene was fun to write. I thought it was time for one. After the last three chapters were so full of exposition and soul searching, it just seemed a good time to have some spells flying back and forth.

"One big happy Ministry" is one of my favorites from this chapter. Thanks for pointing it out!

Really is great getting these reviews from you.

Eldy


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Review #4, by melian 

17th August 2010:
As a public servant myself, I smiled at the rivalry between the Hit Wizards and the Aurors. And how the Dept of Mysteries operates outside everyone else's control ... shades of the CIA, by any chance? The concept of controlling information sounds very much like you were thinking along that vein.

Part of me thought that the Resurrection Stone just being in the web like that was a little too neat, but then again our heroes needed a bit of luck and, well, it IS fiction. I assume you were going with the concept that the Hallows cannot simply be Accio'd? Because the Cloak couldn't be in Hogsmeade in DH? In any case it was most convenient having it there ... did you take pity on them for once? That would almost be a first, wouldn't it?

Anyway I see we are now about to head back to Clocks-verse (which I insist on calling it as I prefer to think of Children's Crusade-verse as the nice one where everyone's alive and happy) so I shall strap myself in and prepare for that journey. Not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not, to be honest.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: From one public servant to another, lets just say that any organization as secretive as the DOM just HAS TO be evil. GITS! I dump on them any time I can in my fic. Its a moral imperative. Secretive organizations are the greatest danger to ordered democracy, not standing armies.

Rant over.

Easy fix for the Stone? Mea Culpa. I just didn't have time for a complicated search here and neither did Ron and Harry. Yes, I did finally take some pity on them and it probably is a first. Your absolutely correct as to the Accio - it would've turned canon on its head if I tried that, so a little luck for Ron the Great was called for.

Yes, alas, we're back to the Clocks reality.
Buckle up, Dorothy. Kansas is going, bye bye!

Eldy


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Review #5, by Miss Lily Potter 

15th August 2010:
So, sadly, this review is going to have to be quickly typed, because I'm about to go home. So if there're any typoes, my apologies. Also, I'll try to review the rest tonight, but it'll be done by Monday at the latest.

Anyway.

As usual, I liked this. (: Ooh. There was one spelling mistake--quintette should be quintet. At least, I'm pretty sure. But that was it. (:

Aw, poor Harry. ): He had to steal Dumbledore's wand... That can't have been easy.

Haa, I loved that Ginny flipped off of her broom. I read that and I was like "Heck yes!" :D

I liked 'Mione's anger toward Snape, and him sneering at her... I love Severus, but... I can understand her hatred of him. :P

I'm wondering what Hermione 'understood'. Hmm. Argh, I'm on the edge of my seat!

I don't know if I can see Dumbledore smirking, even in portrait form... That seems like such a Snape/Malfoy thing to do, but maybe that's just me. Hmm.

I love the idea of the Hit Wizards. It's really original (in my opinion, anyway), and it makes perfect sense. XD Hermione's ramblings made me laugh.

Hermione smiled! *cheer* Yay! I don't like the animosity between the two Hermiones. (:

Oh, no. I read the title of the next chapter. *hits head* This can't be good. And now I have to leave. AAARGH.

I will for sure read more later! :D Fantastic, compelling, awesome chapter. (:
-Jasmine

Author's Response: Everything really goes pear shaped in this chapter. There's a really good reason for this: I wanted to write an action scene. LOL!

A trip to Hogwarts almost always involves a long drawn out exposition scene. Now, while I like those a lot, I thought the pace of the story would bog down if I wrote yet another one after the last three chapters. And I just love letting Ginny strut her stuff. She's tough, strong and NOT to be trifled with. A lot like my lovely wife.

As for Dumbles, smirk may not have been the right word. I was looking for more of a smile with a twinkle in his eye. Urg! Typos. I'll fix. Thanks for pointing that out!

Hermione in lecture mode is one of my favorite flourishes - and having 'Mione say "I was interested." i thought was just too funny. Glad you liked it too!

Oh no! what a rotten place to break! Sorry about that. But, again, I'm really loving your reviews!

Elder


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Review #6, by PrincessPadfoot 

17th July 2010:
WtCC?!?!? I can’t believe the Department of Mysteries would send some Hit Wizards to take the sword!! It’s…grr. Okay so I have no idea WHY they did it….you will explain later yes? Hopefully?? Okay!

“No idea. But I love your new wand!” hehe I giggled at this :P Such a Ron thing to say in the middle of a crisis :P

I can’t believe that Ron found the resurrection stone!! I was thinking it was going to take forever and a day to find it, but it was right there within reach. :)

So!! On to excitement and the unknown!! Actually time for bed lol but hopefully I will get this done this weekend :P

Talk to you later TEW!!

PP

Author's Response: Dept. of Mysteries...Gits! Can't stand them and dump on them every chance I get.

As for why they're doing what they're doing, they found out about the reality problem, sniffed out the Horcrux secret and, rather than help, they decided they needed to kidnap 'Mione to make sure everything stays "secret." It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but most secretive organizations are more interested in having the secrets remain secret than they are about the well being of the public they're supposed to serve.

I liked that I got to portray Ron as a little more "Ron" here. Glad you liked that. As for the Resurection Stone, I needed a quick "out" here. A long search just didn't fit, so I made things a little easier than I should've. But I had a lot of fun doing it!

You'll get a kick out of the next chapter. Hehehehe.

TEW


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Review #7, by Edward Ollivander 

3rd July 2010:
Unspeakable gits! what else are they going to screw up? Well at least the group is away from them now. I'm a bit concerned about that bit about feeling torn apart. Interesting that the two Hemiones didn't feel that way. A link of some kind between them i suppose. I'm sure they will have a theory on it anyway. i just wonder if they will agree on it. On to the next one. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Any chance I get I love to dump on the Unspeakables. Just never did trust the gits.

Ah, the feeling of being torn apart, or the lack thereof. That just might be important...

Thanks!

TEW


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Review #8, by lauraf68 

5th June 2010:
So --- WOW --- Here I am, reading Children's Crusade. Unfortunately it is almost midnight and I think my eyes are going to bug out of my head. Poor kids just can't get a break can they? Now they are off to some alternate reality where they are actually --- ummm --- DEAD! GOOD NIGHT, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Seriously --- it's great, but I will need to return when my eyes can focus and my brain can (maybe) understand it better. You've done a great job and have me on the edge of my chair (literally). I especially liked the scenes with Arthur and Mr.G, Ron and Harry at Dobby's grave, Harry and Ginny preparing/packing at Shell cottage, and the encounter with Professor McGonnagall.

I'll be back. :-) ~Lauraf68

Author's Response: Laura!

I'm really glad you've found this story so intense. Also, you're one of the few people to read the Crusadiverse in order. Most folks came to it after reading Clocks (the AU that 'Mione comes from was created in Clocks), so I'm really intrigued to find out your take on it.

Arthur and Mr. G. I had entirely too much fun writing that scene. The Burrow is such a great locale, and throwing in a "lost Weasley" was a blast. I thought it also really helped to justify the Ron/Hermione 'ship, which I'm sure you can tell is one of my favorites. Really flattered you liked it.

Ron and Harry at Dobby's grave. This has to be my favorite part of the story. I wanted to stretch Harry's character a bit. As such, its also the most risky part of the tale. I've gotten mixed reactions on Harry's brood, but it occurred to me that, eventually, the poor guy has to have a breaking point. How much more can the fates heap on him? Making him a reluctant hero this time around just felt right. I can't tell you how glad I am that you liked this scene.

Harry and Ginny after the brood. This was really my first chance to write about their 'ship and I had a blast doing it. Ginny's one of my favorite characters because she's always no nonsense. I guess she'd have to be, growing up with six insane brothers. I have no doubt the slap got Harry's attention, but, given her background, he's lucky she didn't punch him. I've no doubt she's got a wicked right hook! LOL.

The McG/Mione/Hermione/Ginny scene. It just seemed to me that Mione would definitely go all mushy seeing McG, especially after what happened to Minirva at the Disaster at Hogwarts. Their hug is one of my favorite parts.

Its been a real pleasure reading all your reviews today. Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon!

TEW


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Review #9, by Estelle Black 

12th April 2010:
oh my goodness, that was a very eventful chapter, Ron was hilarious with the spiders and spider webs classic.
This chapter has got me wondering what will happen, although i have changed my rules a little bit, since it is beginning to get hard for me to review all the chapters of a story I have decided that I will review three chapters then if you want more you are going to have to re-request. and please do.
Estelle XOX

Author's Response: I had too much fun with the spiders, at Ron's expense. Glad you liked it!

I'll look you up for more reviews, definitely.

Thanks so much!

TEW


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Review #10, by MrsKatieGrint 

27th February 2010:
As always, wonderful action scenes. Your thought always seem to amaze me. I really can't wait to see what you hinted at in the last sentence. ;)

Author's Response: This one was a lot of fun to write. I felt so bad for Ron having to deal with all the spiders. Uggh!

And, another cliffhanger...

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by AvadaKedavra1 

3rd January 2010:
Of this entire story, from what I have read, the most unexpected aspect, was the interference by the Department of Mysteries.

Brilliant.

You know I love the Airborne witchcraft.

Author's Response: I love dumping on the Department of Mysteries. GITS!

But the real reason for this fight out of the blue was that I didn't want another exposition chapter. And that's hard to escape with a trip to Hogwarts. The story had to keep moving and a long talk in McG's office was the last thing I wanted.

Go Airborne!


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Review #12, by TheDirigiblePlum 

30th December 2009:
Squee! I love the pace and action and cliffhangers that your stories have! I never usually read fanfiction like this so I always enjoy this story because it makes a great change. Opens one's mind etc. :D

I have to admit the part with the Acromantula sent shivers down my spine because I hate spiders... urgh. That's the only part of the Harry Potter films I have difficulty watching... yuckyuckyuck. So adding the spiders in was a good way to freak me out! And I love being freaked out in stories. Not in films, only in stories. :D You manage to balance the action with a hint of fear that keeps me on my toes! It also creates an urgency to the more pacy chapters, like a desperation that you want the scene to end with everyone safe and alive.

Great story! Love it so far. :)

Author's Response: Thanks DP!

I'm so glad you're enjoying this, even tho it's a bit out of your comfort zone.

For what its worth: I HATE SPIDERS! I've always identified with Ron (surprise, surprise) right down to sharing his fear of the dreaded arachnids. So, I'm right there with you. "Not for all the gold in Gringotts..."

It's always great to hear from you.

OH!

Happy New Year!


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Review #13, by Ron_Weasley_Is_My_Hero 

7th December 2009:
oh, I really like this story. It is very intersting. Hoping for more soon!

Author's Response: Thanks Ron!

I can promise a new chapter every weekend. This story is already finished (although I'm still tweaking and editing chapters 17, 18 and 19), so you don't have to worry about me leaving you hanging for months at a time.

Incidentally, if you're really a big Ron fan, I suggest the prequel to this story, Stop All The Clocks. I wrote that story with Ron in mind, to give him the chance to be the undisputed hero. I'd like to know what you think of it.

Thanks for leaving such a great review!


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Review #14, by siledubhghlase 

7th December 2009:
Hit-wizard animosity with the Auror Office. Hmm... Classic. Sounds like DoM is sticking their fingers in everybody's pies these days. Typical.

I wonder what that little exchange between Dumbledore and Ginny was all about. Sigh. I know--I'll have to wait to find out.

Loved the Battle of the Forbidden Forest, but the spiders got screwed out of their fresh meat dinner. Great idea having the stone in the web, but how did it get there? Harry dropped it on the ground.

This last line tells me that Hermione-squared are going to have a meeting of the minds/bodies at some point--a convergence maybe?

Good job!

Author's Response: Had some inspiration from ROJ for that Hit-wizard v. Auror stuff. And I just love dumping on the DoM. Gits! Actually, the exchange between Ginny and Dumbles wasn't meant to be too cryptic: love is the most powerful magic. Perhaps a re-write there is in order.

As to the Stone, we just have to assume one of the Acro's decided it was pretty and hefted it up there one day. Maybe I should've let the spiders have their little Hit Wizard snack.

Your powers of perception, as usual, are exceedingly stong. No more shall I say.

Thanks again for the great review!


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Review #15, by Karkaroff 

7th December 2009:
I liked how you wrote the battle scene and please write more thanks as I am enjoying the story. Thanks for updating.

Author's Response: Thanks Karkaroff! Always good to hear from you.

This chapter was a lot of fun to write so I'm glad you liked it. More's on the way. I'll post again next weekend.

Thanks again!


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Review #16, by Ginny Yeske 

7th December 2009:
OMG KEEP WRITING! I'M SO LOOKINF FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER YOU WRITE!

Author's Response: Thanks Ginny!

The story is already written, although I've only posted half the chapters so far. So you don't have to worry about a story that never gets finished or long delays between postings.

I plan to post one or two chapters every weekend.

Thanks for reviewing and I hope to hear from you again!


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Review #17, by Manwe Valarian 

6th December 2009:
Great chapter, with plenty of action. I am very curious about why Mione and Hermione didn't feel like they were getting pulled apart. I guess I will find that out in the next chapter.

I am a JRRT fan. More of a HP fan in particular Fan fiction. I enjoy different peoples perspectives and plot ideas.

Author's Response: Congratulations Manwe! You're my hundreth (total) review! I wish I could give you a prize, at least a toaster or somthing (LOL).

Thanks for the praise. I promise that the Cliffhanger here will be immediately addressed in the next chapter. Unfortunately, I can't give you its title or I'd be giving entirely too much away. Sorry, 'bout that.

As for the action, I thought it was time for another battle scene here and I didn't wanna get bogged down in another exposition chapter, which a trip to Hogwarts almost always entails, especially when a convo with Dumbles is involved. I thought if the quintet were attacked by Hit Wizards sent by the Dept. of Mysteries (the gits!) it would be a good way of forcing them in and out of the school in a rush. It's also a great preview of the type of battles you can expect once they get to the alternate reality. Broom combat is kind of a staple in this story. My favorite of those scenes is the chapter entitled "The Siege of Calais." I hope you'll find The Battle of the Forbidden Forest pales in comarison.

I haven't read any JRRT fanfiction, although I suspect I could find some over on FFdotnet. Nonetheless, I too really enjoy other writers perspectives on this world. This site is alot of fun, ain't it?

Thanks again so much for leaving a review. As I'd mentioned, I can gaurantee at least one chapter every weekend, maybe two.

Next Chapter: Sorry, gotta keep it secret.


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Review #18, by 1917farmgirl 

6th December 2009:
Again with the reading while reviewing... (Although, if this thing keeps kicking me out and making me rewrite, this may be the world's shortest review instead.)

EEP! Not McGonagall! *stomps foot* I like her! You better not hurt her...

Ron against 10??? Hey, Ron's good, and I know you really like him, but that's a little harsh... And what's up with their own guys attacking them?

Poor Harry having to desecrate Dumbledore's grave like that. Gotta be tough.

Hmmm.Thinking out loud here. I wonder if there will be consequences of Harry using the Elder Wand for a long period of time. He gave it up intially because he didn't want that power and responability. Now he's gonna be using it a lot. And you know what they say about ultimate power...

Yes!! Go Minerva!! I love that lady.

Then she turned her attention back to the Hit Wizard under her heel. “Tell them why you came here, Mr. Carstairs.” The loathing in her voice suggested that he had not been one of her favorite students while he was at Hogwarts. < that was perfect! Love the line about not being a favorite student.

“Hermione, there is no time. You’ve chosen the right path. Don’t yield to temptation and leave it.” < ugh, there he goes again, all mysterious like and obviously knowing more than he's telling. Don't get me wrong, I love Dumbledore, it's just infuriating as a reader. (Which, of course, means that you are doing this right.) And again with the looks passing between Dumbly and Hermione and Ginny. I wanna know what's going on!

Hehehehe, one big happy ministry. Love it.

"Ginny saw their targets had all grounded safely and well away from the monstrous spiders. Well, we can’t let the conscious ones get back in the fight…A smile worthy of George spread across her face as a downpour of bat bogey hexes fell on the dismounted Hit Wizards. Ginny sent back, We’ve got this lot taken care of. Only two left on your tails!" < Oh, I love it when Ginny gets to channel the twins. They taught her well! Probably too well, as they have found out. Great part!

I really, really love that this battle is being faught on broom. Brooms are some of the coolest things JKR put in her books, but they were never used as much as they should have been. Bravo!

And Ron getting to find the stone. You really do have a soft spot for the boy, don't you. I guess it's the least you could do for him, given the spiders...


Hehehehehe, oh you made me laugh! I love that 'Mione was interested in Hermione's lecture. Classic!

Everyone except herself and Hermione… < A sentence like that and you END IT THERE? Hey! *stomps foot again* That is not nice! I'm gonna sic um.Jayne on you!

More soon please?

Author's Response: Dear girl, did you really think I'd kill Minerva off again? tsk tsk. Nope, she's quite the force to be reckoned with here, right down to her heel on his throat. Gotta like that.

As to the Elder Wand, I'll let this cat out of the bag early. He's only going to use it when he has to. Don't tell anyone I let you in on that secret tho.

As to Dumblydorable's message to 'Mione, it was supposed to be cryptic. His unspoken message to her double was simply: "Hey! you need to lighten up on this whole 'Mione situation" if that wasn't clear there, I may need to re-write it. The message to Ginny was simply that he could tell she was very much in love with Harry and that he could tell that she had already figured out for herself that love is the most powerful magic.

Bat bogey curses. There's not gonna be much use for those where they're going (the Clocks reality will be kill or be killed) so this was my only chance to use them. Couldn't resist. I just love letting Ginny be Ginny and she did learn from the best.

There is A LOT of broom combat in this story, which I absolutely love. Just wait till we get to "The Siege of Calais" Now that's a FUN chapter.

Ron v 10 Hit wizards and finding the Resurection Stone - well, keep in mind, the end is gonna be all Harry. Ron deserves his time in the sun. Even the fanfics that aren't mean to Ron still sideline him in favor of Harry, too much I think. I've tried pretty hard to show this as a team effort, because, after all, this story is really about love and friendship. With a lot of fight scenes in between.

Jayne? The man they call Jayne? YIKES. I hope he's not toting vera! I promise a new chapter next weekend. Maybe even two! Until then sweet farmgirl, adieu!

Next Chapter: Well, I can't give you the title without giving away the plot. Sorry!


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Review #19, by You Know Who 

6th December 2009:
From the wise words of Monty Python,
"Ain't dead yet"

Author's Response: Hmmm. I wonder who this could be?

Thanks for the review! Rest assured, no character is safe until the last page is written.


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