17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Capella Black 

7th August 2011:
Whoa! And there's the darkness I just knew was going to be coming! As ever, gripping description, smooth dialogue and break-neck action merge to make an addictive chapter. And somehow, the chapters before now feel more perfect, because they set the scene for this to happen. Love it.

I like how you've handled the naming issues in this story - the Georges in the chapter before, the Hermiones in this one. Somehow, it all becomes very easy to follow, which is surprising given the characters involved.

Now to find out what's going on with that pendant...

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Yep. Pear-shaped with a vengeance.

I wrote this tale with two audiences in mind. those that had read clocks and those that hadn't. I also wanted to reach a larger audience by writing a Quartet tale and not just focusing on ron and hermione. In order to do that properly (and since I hadn't written ANYTHING else at the time) I needed to spend more than a few chapters building the back story of the Quartet in the canon universe. I needed to show what had been happening in their lives since the Battle of Hogwarts to get the readers invested in them. Then I lower the boom and have 'Mione from the Clocks reality show up, probably at the worst time possible for an emotionally spent Harry. I'm just no darn good...

Anyway, that's why there's such a long stretch between when 'Mione leaves the Clocks reality and appears in the Canon one.

Thanks so much for the praise of the name thing. That was a pain and took some doing. And I know lots of folks HATE Hermione being called 'Mione, so I had a little fun with that too.

Thanks again for this great review!


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Review #2, by LilyGreenEyes 

28th April 2011:
I really did love this until you put Ron's death in and you made me cry again! Although I fully understand why it was needed, so don't worry, I'm not mad at you ;)

I still loved your writing! It was a good touch to have them fighting each other, and the wandless power was rather interesting to see also.

The tense atmosphere that was in the cottage was almost tangible in my house as I read the story, I felt like I could hold out a knife and cut it where I sat, which was brilliant for it to be so personal and intense for the reader.

I really think you got the characterisation spot on again, especially Hermione as she would have a whole whirlwind of emotion going on and you managed to keep it clear and effective.

The chain Legilimens was a brilliant touch, I really enjoyed that, it kind of makes more sense than a pensieve or something similar. Sharing common memories of Mione and Hermione before their reality split was a great touch to make it clear that they are the same person, it just split further along the line and that was really well written.

As much as I hated reading Ron's death again, it needed to be there for anyone reading this as a standalone as I think it this story is much better having read stop all the clocks, but even those of us who've read it more than once need the little reminders here and there!

I'm really intrigued with how this whole reality mixing is going to work and how it's all going to work out. You've got my mind going over time and I'm really looking forward to reading more so off I go ;)

Til the next review ;)

Author's Response: This chapter makes or breaks the tale. So, I'm really glad you liked how it played out. Everything comes down to this.

You picked right up on one of the key things I did with this story. It's written for two audiences. Those who read Clocks and those who didn't.

For the Clocks crew, the first chapter would've made sense (horrid tho it was) but the second chapter, I hoped, would've been a bit of a shocker, what with Ron alive and all. Regardless, for both sets of readers, I had to establish the canon-reality characters. That's why 'Mione disappears after the first chapter and doesn't really come back until now.

In fact, the entire idea for a sequel to Clocks came from the sharp image I got of the Hermione from Clocks running into the arms of a canon-universe Ron, only for the canon-Universe Hermione to walk in on them and then all heck breaks loose. So, in short, all the previous chapters were just set up for this one crucial scene.

The possibility of the realities merging is more fully played-with later on. And I had a great deal of fun toying with it.

Characterizations. I'm glad you like how that's playing out. I figure Harry and Ginny's characterizations here were pretty much JKRish, so I didn't have to stretch (but it was still a blast writing them!) Ron and especially both the Hermiones were MUCH harder.

'Mione, though still level headed and wise beyond her years, is just completely at a loss at having Ron back and alive.

Ron has matured and grown, but had absolutely no clue how to handle a situation where someone who, for all practical intents and purposes, is his Hermione, but has been put through the ringer.

Hermione - well, despite being the brightest witch of her age, she's been thrown for a rather nasty loop. Ron has finally grown into the man she always knew he could become - she's engaged, her career is going gangbusters and everything is right with the world...Then another version of herself shows up and her world is turned upside down. I just figured that even our logical Hermione would not function very logically when she's faced with the prospect of losing her hard-fought-for fiance to...well, herself. I get comments that she's acting out of character, and, I suppose she is to a degree. But it just occurred to me that if anything would knock our oft-times jealous Hermione off-kilter, this would do it.

Having a blast reading your reviews. Really made my week!


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Review #3, by Mintleaf 

15th April 2011:
The chain legilimency reminds me of Inception haha!

I'm so intrigued by where this story is going (obviously). Stop All The Clocks was almost more engaging for me though; I think I just like reading about devastation more haha. I don't know whether that says great things about me hahaha. But that being said, I assume this is going to spiral into a more dystopic realm, and thus anticipate enjoying it just as much :)

Author's Response: Inception. Great movie (but I'm still not completely sure what was going on).

If you like devastation, hold on tight. In about 4 chapters it gets really really dark and nasty. I'm the same way about this kind of stuff, it horrifies me but I just can't get enough of it.

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by melian 

17th August 2010:
Wow. That was intense. Having read Clocks I knew what was coming, but hearing it all again, in those circumstances, was harrowing. And I really felt for Ron, who saw his own death and consoled the woman whose memory it was but managed to alienate his fiancee in the process. The idea of the two realities merging is just a little frightening as well - I admit I had hoped that, with the new universe introduced in ch2, we'd left the horror of the Clocks behind us. Now it seems it was not to be.

I'm afraid that I don't have much else to say. You brought a tear to my eye in this chapter and I don't particularly want to relive it. Your fault.

Although, part of me wants to know how those at The Burrow are reacting to this long absence ...

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: This chapter makes or breaks the story. If it fell flat, I was a dead man walking. I'm really pleased you liked it.

Reliving Dover here wasn't easy for me to write. that is, I have a love/hate relationship with Clocks, and going thru that all again is almost like opening old wounds. So, I'm right there with you on that. But, I had to find a way to correct all my sins from Clocks. The only way to do that was to bring in canon Characters from another reality.

What's going on at the Burrow? Patience, that gets addressed in the next chapter.

From here out, poor Ron is caught in the middle. I really do owe the boy an apology.

thanks again!


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Review #5, by Miss Lily Potter 

15th August 2010:
So I've read that scene three times now, and it still has the emotional impact of the last two. My goodness. To be 'Mione, to have to relive it even when she was trying to hide it... Agh.

I feel bad for Hermione, but I like 'Mione better, for some reason.

I loved the line where Hermione called 'Mione a Polyjuiced something that isn't 12+. XD I don't know why, but it made me laugh really unexpectedly.

Poor Ron. ): He's gotta choose between the two, and Hermione's hating him for it.

I really hope Ronnie doesn't get hurt. :P That would be awful and... aargh. No. Not allowed. xD

Harry trying to protect everyone was sweet, but I can understand why his control was diminished; that would be really shocking.

And I'm not too big a fan of the nickname 'Mione, but it kind of had to be done, to distinguish between them. XD

Reading on! :D

Author's Response: This chapter really makes or breaks the tale. If it didn't work, I was done for.

I've really made a mess of things here for the quartet, but especially for poor Ron. I really feel sorry for him that my muse did this to him.

The genesis of this tale was this scene. I got the strong image of the Clocks hermione running into the arms of a "canon" version of Ron, only to be caught by the "canon" version of Hermione. Then all heck breaks loose.

I don't mind the 'Mione nickname, although I do respect those who are not of like mind. It was because of that that I added 'Mione frowning because she didn't like the nickname. It really was necessary; until I distinguished them like that, trying to write the scene was DEVILISHLY hard.

The Dover scene. I'm pleased as firewhiskey that you still think it has the emotional punch. Personally, I think the last chapter of Clocks version is the strongest. But, from 'Mione's perspective in this chapter has its strong points. Anywayl, thanks for the praise! That scene still gets me on occasion too.

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Review #6, by PrincessPadfoot 

16th July 2010:
*Stunned Silence*


I can't even...it's like...wow...

Author's Response: There is no higher praise.

This entire story, the whole enchilada depends on this chapter. If it doesn't work, I got a whole lot of nothing.

So, you can't imagine how great it is to get praise like this.

Thank you, very much.


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Review #7, by edward ollivander 

2nd July 2010:
Oh boy! Voldemort will really be surprised if Harry suddenly turns up to challenge him with his own elder wand to command. Stunningly wondeful idea. I hope they all can help Hermione and keep the other one sane while they do it. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Yep, its all been building up to this - a rematch between Harry and Voldy, with none of Harry's nifty tricks from DH. Flattered you like the concept.

Keeping Hermione sane? tall order. We'll just have to see.

Thanks again, its always great getting these reviews from you everyday.


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Review #8, by searching4neverland 

24th March 2010:
I was at the first sentence and my mouth was alreasy open and I practically devouring this chapter. Then I slowed down for my own good, went back to the beginning of it and started again. There were parts I totally double read just for the fun of it, because I enjoyed them so much - espetially during the Hermiones duel. From paragraph to paragraph I was wow... bigger wow... omg... holy moly and so on. I loved that duel with those two, seriously, its was amazing! And Hermione yelling at Hermione for killing Hermioneís son! AAH!

Reality shifting! . Im sorry but my jaw cant really go lower than the floor, so youre just gonna have to deal with that.

Your Hermiones, both of them are astounding. ("Try again!" - loved that bit, so like her to say something like that.) They are the same, because they are the same person, but somehow you have managed to make them different. It seems surreal that someone so damaged that hurt can still be in one piece. The scene between them before they started the Leggimency played out amazingly. Harry taking charge, and Ron confusion, Ginnys directions, the way the Hermiones reacted at each other - I loved it.

I couldnt wait for them to get into Miones head. When you started writing about all those things, I dont know... I was just so sad. Everyting had gone wrong, every little thing. It was horrible reading about it, so of course you deserve a congratulations for writing it so vividly. 'One horror too many' - I thought you were never going to stop with those as I read on.

Dark Lords teeth - brilliant! You have created amazing new ways to use magic for this story, its unbelievable.

"her memories of actually leaving the country were cordoned off by an immense wall of grief and some kind of memory dampening charm." - This was awful to read. I know what happened, but I cringed at the thought of it. Ron dead...

By the time I was out of Mione's head, I was so stunned from it all. I just could not believe it! There were many points that I stopped reading this chapter. Not because I didn't like it (are you kidding?!) but because I had to stop, breathe, take in how much pain you have put them through, and start again. It was a rollercoaster with too many overturnes, they weighed me down. I loved it, it was beautifully tragic.

PS: I almost cried when I read how Ron died. I never get that emotional, I mercilessly mock people that cry over movies - not very polite of me, I know - Its so silly, but I almost did. I think I hate you a little now...

Nahw, I don't, but don't think Im all sunshine and daisies after reading that!

Author's Response: If this chapter got you gaping and gasping, it did exactly what I'd hoped and that means a lot to me. Probably the highest form of flattery is to learn that a reader took from a story exactly what I'd striven to convey. Thank you!

As to the Hermiones' characterization, that took more than a little effort, so I'm glad you liked that. Although they are the same person, their experiences over the last four years are so tragically different, it ocurred to me the best way to display this would be with Ron caught in the middle.

So, here's Hermione, the war's finally over, she has her Ron, her career is on track, everything is going exactly as it should. But, then she finds some harpy snogging her fiance. When it turns out that harpy is herself, from a reality where Ron is dead and she has a son by her dead lover...Well, it occurred to me our usually level headed (although sometimes mental) Hermione would go spare. Love reduces even the best of us to irrationality at times.

As for 'Mione, the ordeal she's been through, after the horrors that culminated at Dover, nearly have broken her. It's only her love of her son and her burning desire to put Voldemort in his grave that have kept her going. And now, to see her dead lover alive again and to know she can't have him...Its a wonder Shell Cottage is even still standing.

I'm really glad you thought the characterizations worked.

Once the dust settles from the duel, the bulk of this chapter is a re-telling of my short story, "Stop All The Clocks." I was leery as to whether the summary would pack the same punch as the whole tale. I'm flattered that it effected you the way it did.

However, if you'd like to read the undistilled version, I'd really like to hear your thoughts on "Clocks." The version of Ron's death in that tale is told from Ron's perspective, unlike the version here, which is told from 'Mione's perspective. I always thought the "Clock's" version of Dover was more bracing, but I'd love to hear your thoughts as to a comparison.

Believe it or not, you're not the first person to comment on Ron's death by saying "I think I hate you a little..." LOL. Many folks who read Clocks had the same reaction you did. Frankly, I have a love/hate relationship with that tale too. Killing off these great and familiar characters (especially Ron) is almost like killing off old friends.

This really is a spectacular review and I can't thank you enough. Its put a huge grin on my face.


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Review #9, by white_eyebrow 

14th March 2010:
So we're at the tie in with "clocks." Another good cliffanger/plot twist.
Merging realities, eh? o.O
You got stones. :p

Author's Response: Ok. That's really high praise. Thanks mate!

Merging realities. Yep. It was really the only way I could think to try to clean up the mess of things I'd made in "Clocks."

I'm on vacation at the moment and am checking the site infrequently so I don't leave any reviews unanswered. That's been a challenge too because my net access is spotty at best. That said, I'm looking forward to more "Prisoner of Hope" soon. Excellent tale that.

Thanks again for all the great reviews.


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Review #10, by Jackson Robles 

9th March 2010:
All righty! Okay, so that was pretty good, I think, at getting everyone to know the story (and to help us understand it all? You manged all that in a short story? I'm interested now . . .) of how Hermione manged to get there.

However, one glaring problem kept bothering me. See, I know the images were poignant, and all characters were seriously appalled by what they saw, but the crying early on was rather . . . melodramatic, I think. I mean I (that's to be italicized) definitely didn't buy their reaction, at least early on. After watching Ron die for 'Mione then I think you earned their reactions, but before that I just think they'd be severely shaken and gasp a lot, but the whole thing about crying made me raise my eyebrows.

But that's my only qualm. Other than that this was sweet, and I'm seriously gearing up for the battles! Harry v. Voldemort round two! Seriously round two, you know? I imagine this will become pretty darn entertaining. I was imagining all the different scenarios myself about what might happen. It's looking to be good. And I know I was pretty negative last chapter (hyperbole, definitely), I am definitely looking forward to the rerequests I hope you'll do in the future.

But I kind of want to talk about Harry's brood. I'm trying to figure out what you meant in the request. I'm thinking --- did I comment on it? The whole crying thing? Because yeah, personally I'd edit that to read something along the lines of they were appalled and saddened, but not sobbing uncontrollably into each other's shoulders. They know this is a memory --- they aren't fools --- they're the best witches and wizards of their age, you know? And definitely they're mature, so the crying thing . . . I don't know. Sell me on it: why'd you write it like that? I'm sure you have a reason (and I'm curious, not accusatory). Anyways, I look forward to reading your response!


Author's Response: Jackson, I "baited and switched" on you again. Sorry about that. Harry's brood isn't in this chapter; it's in the next. You'd think the author at least would be able to keep his story straight! Mea culpa.

I think my misdirection may have thrown you off here. The theme in this chapter, and the reason for the waterworks, was that the quartet watched every one of their friends and family, the people most dear to them, die. To top it all off, Harry's been hit with this right after he finally thought it was over. That's the buildup for the next chapter: "Choosing to be Chosen."

Also, keep in mind, the Legilimens was laiden with all the pent-up emotion that 'Mione, as the sole survivor, has been struggling with for four years. There was simply too much grief packed into her memories for even experienced wizards (like Harry here) to contain via the spell, although he tried.

The short story that is the prequel to this tale is "Stop All the Clocks." It's only 13,000 words; probably needs to be expanded a bit, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Too much like killing my own kids.

This chapter really makes or breaks the tale and, up to now, its gotten some positive feedback. I'm afraid I really ruined it for you with the "brood" comment. Dagnabit!

Hopefully, I can make it up to you in the coming chapters. Approximately three and one-half of the remaining chapters are devoted solely to combat and the majority of that is on broomstick. And it all leads up to the main event: Harry v. Tom II. No tricks, no do-overs. Elder Wand v. Elder Wand, mano a mano, winner take all...

Hopefully, that tremendous build up will keep your attention! (and I checked, this time, the build up is fairly accurate - LOL.)

Thanks again


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Review #11, by MrsKatieGrint 

27th February 2010:
Oh my.. Forget what I had said before. There is no way I saw this comming! Brilliant flashback scenes! Wonderfully detailed and fantastic to read! Amazing job! :D

Author's Response: Ok. My head's starting to swell here...

I loved the twist, I'm glad you did too. this whole tale, tho its supposed to stand on its own, is actually a sequel to my short story "Stop All The Clocks." I couldn't leave it with such a sad ending, and "Crusade" is the result.

Really glad you're enjoying it.

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Review #12, by Laugharama_llama 

28th January 2010:
Hello! I'm here with your review from the forums (finally!)

Alright, so Chapter 6: the Epic Chapter!!
Hm. I'm not exactly sure how I felt about this. In all honesty, it felt a little bit over-dramatic. But the thing is, I can't really criticize because how else were they supposed to react in a situation like this?

Anyway, this chapter did help me understand a lot of the story better. I think one thing I would suggest (for future stories, since you're so far into this one) is to mix the dramatics in with the other chapters, rather than explaining it all in one chapter. This chapter felt a little bit overwhelming.


Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing.

There really were no other options as to the drama-level here. In fact, the story leads inevitably to this chapter; given the circumstances there was no other way for 'Mione to convince the quartet of who she was.

I was going for the impact of having the quartet's world literally crash around them, after having established in the previous chapters that they had finally thought the troubles were over.

Rest assured, there's a great deal more to be explained and/or figured out as we go, so the remainder may not be your cup of tea. Regardless, I do appreciate your taking the time to read and review. Thanks!

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Review #13, by AvadaKedavra1 

3rd January 2010:
See this is what it all comes down to. This chapter. It will either make or break the story. The explanation, the logic, the reality.

It makes the story.

You know I hate AU, but I see where you are going. And I like it. Everything is essentially valid. The drama between the two Hermione's is incredibly well done and quite emotional.

Again, I love the power. The chain legilimens is classic and perfect for the story.

And that little boy, oh dear.

No matter how cleverly you wrote before this chapter, it all comes down to this one. Stop all the Clocks, was great, and everyone should read it for the full impact. But you really made this story stand alone with the way you wrote this chapter.

You guessed fastball, swung for the fences, and connected. Enjoy the leisurely trot around the bases, you earned it.

Author's Response: Thanks bro, huge praise!

This really is the whole show. If this chapter fell flat, I was deader than the AU Ron.

When I got close to finishing off Clocks, I got the very strong mental picture of a Canon Hermione catching her Ron and the AU Hermione in a compromising position and all hell breaking loose. It was this scene that made me write the sequel. Well, that and the absolutely horrible mess of things I made in Clocks.

[EW runs the bases, and high-fives AK1 at the plate] Thanks for the edits bro. That and your feedback made the story.

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Review #14, by Estelle Black 

26th December 2009:
that was so sad, they saw everything. Will he go back with her? that is the question that i want answered it was amazing. AMAZING I tell you.
I am so going onto the next chapter right now
Estelle XOX

Author's Response: Some of the highest praise I ever get are folks like you who review and get sucked it in because they really just want to get to the next chapter! That means alot and I thank you for it.

Chapter 13 is about to get posted. I'm editing as we speak. I really hope I keep you engrossed all the way through to the end.


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Review #15, by TheDirigiblePlum 

19th December 2009:
I've just realised I've been sat here with my eyes glued to the screen with my mouth hanging open for the past five minutes!! Your writing really takes me inside the story and it's always so pacy and dramatic. It's the type of writing that makes you forget that you're reading at all... if you get me... :D That's the best kind of writing in my opinion. :)

I love the idea behind this story, and I can't wait to see what happens! Two Hermiones... this is going to be fun!


Author's Response: DP! Wow! That's some pretty amazing praise.

Thank you! I loved this chapter. Actually, this chapter was the genesis for the whole sequel. As I got close to finishing Clocks (and ran out of hanky's) I got the very strong visual of the Clock's Hermione showing up in a canon reality and throwing herself at Ron, only to be caught by the canon hermione and then all hell breaking loose. If I was able to describe what the muse showed me here as well as you say, I can only respond that I am deeply flattered.

I always love hearing from you and I love reading you stuff!

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Review #16, by 1917farmgirl 

28th November 2009:
Oh, man, oh, man.

How on earth are you going to write yourself out of this one?

That was an amazingly creative chapter! There's so much in there, I can't figure out what to say first.

Chain legilimens? BRILLIANT! Never would have thought of that.

And the two realities threatening to merge? I didn't see that one coming either. Great move!

But how is this all going to work out? You can't have two Hermiones! And there's little Ronnie to think of. Don't want him to cease to exist, but my heart is also breaking at the thought of this all working out, and Hermione and Ronnie having to go back to their reality alone again, with everyone dead and so much distruction to fix.

Harry being Harry and trying to sheild everyone, at great cost to him. So typical. Well done.

And then poor Ron caught in the middle! The poor boy is going to get in trouble no matter what he does.

I do have to say, Hermione was rather violent with her other self. Very cold and brutal. Surely she can get over that, eventually?

And, I have no clue where you are going with this, but everything I've ever read or seen that deal with alternate realities says it's bad buisness when they start to crossover. Having two Hermiones in one reality? Is that healthy?

Intrigued, captivated, can't wait for more!

P.S. Who's gonna tell Bill they wrecked his house?

Author's Response: Farmgirl! thanks for coming back!

Actually, I almost didn't write myself out of this one. I was stuck for awhile. Then the solution hit me. But you're gonna have to wait to see it!

Yeah, I can actually claim the chain Legilimens as mine, after having stolen so much from other authors (LOL). I'm really pleased you liked it.

Dual realities really was key to this story. I couldn't think of a good way to fight Voldy in the Stop All The Clocks AU until I realized I needed to bring the golden quartet over from a canon reality.

The Two Hermione's was really the first clear image I got for this entire story. Everything else springs from there. Yeah, Ron's really in the middle of it. Just have to wait and see about resolving this mess...

Like I said, Hermione is VERY possesive of her Ron. Can you blame her? It took forever for the two of them to get together. She's not about to let anything or anyone tear them apart and she'll use every fiber of her being to keep him. Given her brilliance, that's bad news for anyone who gets in her way. But in direct answer to your question, NO, having two Hermiones is definitely not a good thing. At least for poor Ron.

I really enjoyed writing Harry in this chapter. As a matter of fact, the next chapter, "Choosing to be Chosen," highlights Harry and how he's dealing with all this. It's very "angsty," and I'm curious to see how it'll be received.

As for telling Bill, I was gonna let you do it. I'm sure not!

Thanks for the great review. The next chapter should be posted within a week.

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Review #17, by siledubhghlase 

28th November 2009:
That had to hurt. Chain Legilimency--very interesting. I take it you came up with that? Clever.

So 'Mione tried to block Ron's death. Can't blame her. I wouldn't want to relive it. Just reading that Fiendfyre sequence again nearly stopped my heart.

Ronnie. Wow. I think he was the one who did the most to calm the adults down. Out of the mouths of babes...

Ron's rush to 'Mione's side was only natural. Here is a woman who is his Hermione in just about every way. She was hurting, frightened, traumatized, and alone. It was only natural for him to scoop her up in his arms and comfort her. The line between the realities is already beginning to blur.

Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks Sheila!

The Chain Legilimency was all mine, I'm proud to say for a change. Only way I could think to make this work, actually.

Yeah, I try to block out Ron's death too ;) I'm flattered that it still has the same emotional impact on you, tho.

I was worried about whether Ron going to 'Mione wouldn't feel right. I'm glad you think it worked. Rest assured, Hermione definitely DOES NOT think it felt right. And there will be hell to pay. Poor Ron... But, I'm hoping you're going to really enjoy the conversation R/Hr have about this whole mess in the next chapter.

Thanks for the great review!

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