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84 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

3rd November 2016:
"I think Id rather get Kissed by a Dementor than have a life like that" so much irony built into that last line. You are a fantastic writer and ur attention to detail regarding everything is amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I did put a lot of work into this story so it's really nice to have that appreciated. Glad you're enjoying it. :)

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
I feel like there are going to be a lot of problems with my poor, poor feels in these few chapters at the moment. All of the things that keep getting in the way of Laura and Sirius getting together are just so frustrating because I know that they could really easily be together but they're just so obstinate that they don't get together. The news about Sirius really liking someone is perfect because really it's Laura that he likes - and I'm fairly sure that Lily knows about it too. And then Sirius has that conversation with Laura and she won't tell him what's wrong because not being with him is the problem, but he takes it to mean that she doesn't like him! The pair of them are hopeless! I hope that they get together soon!

I feel like there's a lot more build up to the Yule Ball this year because it's going to be a much bigger plot event in the story than the first one, but I'm really excited about it and I can't wait to read what happens there!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, poor Sirius. And I"m sorry about the feels, but as an author they are really the best thing to write. I do love frustrating people, hahaha. (Yes, I know. Mary had to get that sadistic streak from somewhere!) Of course you're right, it is Laura, and Lily is pretty cluey so she's worked it all out. Oh, and yes, he does think she doesn't like him. Every time he tries to talk to her she runs the other way, so of course that's giving him the wrong idea. Sigh. I do enjoy torturing them.

cheers Mel


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Review #3, by Amanda 

28th February 2013:
It's funny. My uncle made a comment like that about his daughter once, about damaged goods.
On the night before her and her husband got married her father pulled him aside and said, "I hope you are serious about this marriage. I will be less than thrilled if she comes back as damaged goods."
Sad thing was he wasn't kidding.
Guess not only pure-blood wizard families get to act like the scum of the earth.
Good chapter though.

Ps.
I love Laura, but how thick can you get?!

Author's Response: Oh dear. I was deliberately exaggerating things: I hadn't realised that people still talked like that in this day and age. It's really a very Victorian way of looking at it, isn't it? Sigh. Oh well.

As for Laura, well, yes, I know. There are none so blind as those who will not see. But it's all part of the fun, isn't it?

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Olga 

3rd January 2013:
Gaaah Laura get a freaking clue! And poor Siruius, good job describing the old pure blood families. I can't stop reading!

Author's Response: I'm actually really proud of that discussion about the old pureblood families, to be honest. It seemed - fitting, I guess. So I'm really pleased that it struck a chord with you. Thanks!

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Cheeky0810 

12th June 2012:
Laura, so DAFT!
Far out! I mean, really?! Just...argh! So much rage!!!
But a seriously great story here :)

Sometimes I find Mary's dialogue really hard to understand and i find myself skimming over it sometimes, :( but I'm getting better. :) Maybe it's because I'm Australian that I can't quite get it. I definitely get the gist of what she says though :) and it really adds to the authenticity as I have to read it in a Scottish accent otherwise it doesn't work. :D awesome job writing and keeping that up! :)

I liked how Lily was clued into who 'the girl', ie Laura, was. I love James and Lily, *sigh* so adorable.
I also love how close the seventh years are now. It's great to see that kind of relationship :) especially during the bit about Sirius' family, which was great and it sounded as I always imagined his family life to be.


Lirius!

Author's Response: Yes, she's daft. After all, there are none so blind as those who will not see, and she's convinced herself that it's not possible so she's just not reading the signs, even if they are in flashing neon lights. Sigh.

Glad you liekd the bit about the Blacks, though. That scene floated around for a while until I found the right place to put it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
Ahh its so obvious that sirius likes laura 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Yep. To everyone but Laura, I think. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by Amy McEvoy Roantree 

18th February 2012:
When will her and Sirius get together? Im dying for some big romance between them;) Great story! Amy x

Author's Response: Not telling. But soon. *wicked grin* And thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by Singer123 

14th December 2011:
Please please please Laura why don't you realize???
SIRIUS HAS FALLEN FOR YOU!!

The Black family is So cruel. Doing this to their own son?
You'd think after going through it themselves they'd want something better for their son!

Author's Response: Teehee. If she realised that now, then my story plan would have been up the creek. No, still some time to go. *evil grin*

As for the Blacks, well they've made the decision that family pride beats parental love. Some people are like that, unfortunately.

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by classicblack 

22nd October 2011:
The last part made me laugh; haha all the descriptions of Sirius's 'bride'. But anyway, I wish Laura would just smarten up and realize that Sirius is talking about her! My goodness it's so frustrating! And when Bernie asked her to the ball I was like aw, I was so looking forward to her going there with Sirius! Why couldn't he have just asked her?! Hoping to see something go on during the ball to change this, though.
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Why couldn't Sirius have asked her? Because he couldn't get the guts up, that's why. And she, of course, wasn't exactly being encouraging either, so he didn't think he had much chance. Bernie's a nice guy, though, she could do worse. :p

I'm glad you liked the conversation about the Black vetting process for prospective brides, though. That's a scene that went through four or five different chapters before settling in this one, and I think the placement is just right. I thought it would be a good idea to go through exactly what he had run away from and what he had given up, so this was how I chose to do that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

9th August 2011:
The Black Family History! I was not expecting this at all and yet when I got up to it I realised I was in for a real treat knowing the details you've poured into everything else. There was a single line in particular I could imagine this Sirius saying: Theyre second cousins. Im not quite as inbred as you like to make out. , I don't know what it was, but it was just something he would say, and most definitely a Sirius moment. I love how you portrayed the finding of a wife for one in the Black family, it sounded like what I'd imagined some form of royal marriage screening process, perhaps even worse, to be like, with all these ideals and pre-selected traits needed to exist within the poor woman, all for her to become a producer of heirs.

Of course, I love the Pureblood history, so it was very interesting to gain this insight overall into his life and how he would have been brought up knowing this is how his life would be and what was expected of him as the eldest. I also like all the Yule Ball happenings, in particular Laura finding herself a date that wasn't Sirius... We shall have to see how I like this development when the Yule Ball arrives... I only hope he's not another Bertram...

To the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, I had that Black family history scene written out for ages before I worked out where it would fit in properly. It seemed something that needed to be covered, but finding the right place for it proved harder than I'd anticipated. Fortunately the spot came up in this conversation and it flowed pretty well so I was very relieved! And yes, it was based somewhat on royal wedding screenings, or more accurately the choosing of spouses for the English aristocracy in about 1800, which seemed to fit how I'd interpreted pureblood relations in JKR's universe. And yes, that line ... I was quite fond of it myself. Glad you liked it! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by alicia and anne 

6th August 2011:
Argh! he is so obviously talking about Laura! This is so frustrating! but I love it so much! keeps me hooked.
The talk about Sirius's family and how people are deemed unworthy to be with any of them was a nice talk, you really get a feel for just how horrible they really are. I'm so glad that Sirius got out when he did. I would hate to be in a family with a screenign process like that.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Of course he's talking about Laura, but if she realised that then it would be a totally different story, wouldn't it? Needless to say he got a fair bit of ribbing from James afterwards for letting so much slip, hahaha. As for the screening process, well I based it off the English aristocracy around 1800 or so, with the odd tweak thrown in to make it applicable to Potterverse. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by acam 

2nd August 2011:
ahh I can't stand this Laura not knowing and being mean to sirius and going to the yule ball with someone else thing!! please, end it... :(

Author's Response: Yes, it is a frustrating time, isn't it? I can't say anyone liked it very much, but it was important to the story so I won't apologise. I will thank you though because if you're reacting like this it means I've done something right in the narrative. So thanks! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by LivingLife42 

24th July 2011:
Charlotte and Remus! Finally! :) Though I'm still waiting on Sirius and Laura ;) :P (I clearly need to keep reading)

AS IF LAURA IS GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE TO THE BALL! You are killing me here! :P

I loved the part about what they were doing for Christmas especially when Sirius was talking about his life because he actually seemed happy :)

Also I liked when Lily was describing the girl she thinks Sirius likes :)

Author's Response: Yes, Charlotte and Remus. I quite like their relationship, such as it is - and that's all I'm saying there. And yes, I did send Laura to the ball with someone other than Sirius, and no, you're not the first person to complain about that. *evil grin*

Thanks for the comment on the talk about Christmas and all that, though. It got moved around a few times before I settled on that placement for it, but I thought it fit well. So pleased you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Augh! IT'S YOU, LAURA! YOU, YOU, YOU!

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Now, why would you think that? ;)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by theelderwand 

22nd August 2010:
Arrrg!

Mel, tell me you didn't really send Laura off to the ball with someone other than Sirius.

I'm just gonna pretend this part of the chapter didn't happen.

turning to somthing I CAN talk about without throwing things. I really liked the ending discussion about pureblood marriages. To be clear, I liked the creativity of the flourishes, the actuall facts behind the marriage machinations I find disgusting - so, in short, it was a brilliant piece of writing.

I am thoroughly impressed with how you have managed to make this entire tale so compelling. As I've said repeatedly, I'm emotionally invested in this tale. And that, is the penultimate proof of EXCELLENT writing.

I'm green with envy.

Eldy

Author's Response: Of course I sent Laura to the ball with someone else! It's all part of my evil plan! Actually, she was never going to go with Sirius because, as you now know, it didn't fit what I had planned, and poor old Bernie Carmichael, who I'm actually rather fond of, gets caught in the middle.

The pureblood talk was something that I had moved around so many times before I found somewhere that it actually fit. I really wanted to have it in there but getting the timing right was trickier than I'd thought. I based it off the British aristocracy of the 1700s or thereabouts, particularly the "heir and a spare" thing, but figured that the way the pureblood families were, it was likely that things wouldn't have changed much. Sirius got a bit of ribbing afterwards for almost giving the game away with regards to Laura, but dense girl that she is she didn't pick up on it and only the boys and Lily realised what was happening. :)

And I think I've said it before but I'm VERY flattered that you got so emotionally invested in this. I think it's a nice little story but to get feedback like that is just amazing. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by Capella Black 

15th August 2010:
Ah, the genius takes another turn - now Sirius doesn't think he has a chance because she's ignoring him. I can only hope Lily gives him a good kick up the whatsit to get him out of it.

Loved the bit about who Sirius should be friends with/dating. This was a really good breakdown of the pureblood ideals, being both entertainingly written and true to canon. It really helps the reader see exactly why Sirius wanted, and remained, out of the entire situation, and further added to the complex relationship he has with his brother. Really nicely done.

Also love the way you have information coming to Laura second-hand and from various different sources. Again, this adds to the realism and develops the plot naturally. Really nice chapter, now where's that button..?

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Sirius is now getting the wrong end of the stick because she's being way too careful around him. Cruel, aren't I? *evil grin*

As for the expectations of the House of Black, I just thought they really should be addressed somewhere. I got it from the British aristocracy of the 1700s or so, particularly the "heir and a spare" thing, but it just seemed precisely what the old pure blood families would be like, and gave an extra reason for him to have wanted to get out. Very pleased that you liked that one!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
they seriously need to get together already!!! now!!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, like I said before, strict story plan. And the time hasn't come yet. Though I do concede that I'm probably being needlessly cruel to both my characters and to my readers. But don't you think it'll just make it feel all the more rewarding when it does happen?

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by ericajen 

28th July 2010:
Like I said in my PM to you, I would very much like to slap Laura and Sirius right now. People should not be allowed to be so oblivious, haha. All in due time, though.

Author's Response: Well, as you saw in the PM, they both got a slap on the way back from Hogsmeade, hahaha. And I know I was driving everyone crazy in stringing this out as long as I did, but I had a very strict story plan and The Snog had to happen at a certain time. As you now know. So yes, I was probably unnecessarily cruel in taking so long but I did have fun doing it. Sadistic of me, wasn't it?

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by Schnatz 

28th June 2010:
Hey Mel,

sorry again for writing a review so late. I've read chapter 36 last Tuesday but was too lazy to review and today I've read it again and read also chapter 37 and ... well, write a review now. Sorry, I'm writing unnecessary things at the moment *blush*

So it seems that Sirius was desperated enough to talk about his 'Laura-problem' with James ... oh, when he would only talk to Laura and tell her what he's feeling about her. He's just making his own life difficult and delay a realtionship to Laura. And Laura herself do the same thing; the only difference is that I can understand Laura. Sirius has not making adumbrations so clearly and he's known for a womanizer and all this ... it's understandable that Laura is too shy and nervous to tell him that she loves him or just to kiss him like Lily did with James. Furthermore Laura is the girl and it's business of the boys to do the first step, isn't it? ;-)

Even Remus was finally brave enough to ask Charlotte out for the ball! Yay, drink a toast to Remus John Lupin!! :D I'm really happy with Remus and, of course, with Charlotte and I'm looking forward to the ball and what is going to happen there.

And Lily is evil ... so she knows that Sirius likes Laura and Laura likes Sirius a lot. Why didn't she tell one of them or at least dedicate James? I hope she will do that soon and then it will come to a romantic Sirius-Laura-scene ;-)

Of course, there were also romantic (er, okay almost romantic) scenes ... remember the one where Sirius is drunken and want to kiss Laura, or the one he's telling her about the death of Alphard, or the one where Sirius laid his arm around Laura's weist and turned her face towards him ... they all have romantic potential. Oh, if Sirius wouldn't be such a little, unsure teenager! Of course, that's really cute, too, because normally he isn't and that means that he really really likes Laura but nevertheless it's stupid, too! :P

Well, as always I'm looking forward to read the next chapters!

Till then, Schnatz

Author's Response: Hi again! And I'm SO sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this - as you know things have been really busy for me lately - but I'm here now, and that counts for something,right?

Anyway. I'm glad you enjoyed the frustration of my main pair just NOT talking the way they should have, because I had so much fun writing that sexual tension. I will say though that you have misinterpreted my Sirius a little, because in this story he was never a womaniser. He is in a lot of fics, but not this one - I don't think that three girlfriends in two and a half years would qualify him as a womaniser, and he really just wasn't all that interested, as Martha said when she described what he was like as a boyfriend. But aside from that, yes, he wasn't being obvious enough for Laura, though even if he'd pushed her against the wall and kissed her she still may not have believed him. She just didn't understand how much things had changed since fifth year.

Anyway, glad you're still enjoying it. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by always_dreaming 

25th March 2010:
where have charlotte and martha been for the last few chapters? who is martha going with? i've sort of forgotten about them
did you get that stuff from jkr (about purebloods and whatnot) or make it up? very believable, and well thought out. kudos.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Charlotte and Martha have been in the background for the last few chapters, but haven't had much page space. Martha's going to the ball with Davy Gudgeon, who she started going out with on the last Hogsmeade visit, so she's been spending a fair bit of time with him; Charlotte's just been busy studying. As for the pureblood stuff, no I made that up, though I was influenced very heavily by the British aristocracy in about the 1700s. It just seemed to fit with what we know of the Blacks so I used it. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by ochalke5 

11th January 2010:
Wow... And I think that her going to the ball with that guy is of course a bad idea and i just wish that Sirius would grow a pair and ask her! But this chapter too is in the top favorites!! I loved it!
10/10
Awesome, work, Mel!
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

Yes, poor Sirius. I think a few people were getting frustrated with him but, like everyone, he was scared of rejection so he just couldnt' bring himself to ask. And then Bernie got in so he figured he'd lost his chance. Laura, of course, has no clue that all this is going on, but then again if she did then the story wouldnt' be nearly so much fun, would it?

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by pinaygrl3123 

26th December 2009:
Oh, honey. You're in totally bad shape.. and he was totally talking about you. What other girl does he go around talking to?! Seriously. Think about it... the puzzle pieces WILL fit. No lie. She's sooo miserable! It's soo depressing to see her so sad! And nobody but Mary even really knows about it, it's crazy! And I'm sure that we all know that Lily knows that Sirius was talking about Laura.. it's far too obvious.. but everyone else just can't see all the pieces together like some. AGH! They're soo infuriating that they can't get together. And the last bit was fairly amusing at who Sirius woudl have been allowed to talk to and why.. hehe.

Author's Response: Yes, she's in a pretty bad way at the moment isn't she? Torturing herself for no real reason. I am cruel sometimes, aren't I?

Anyway yes, Lily knew, but everyone else hasn't worked it out yet. Like I said earlier, they have to recognise it's possible before they can see it's happened.

And I'm very pleased that you liked the House of Black conversation at the end there, I thought it was really worth looking into the life Sirius had left to get a better understanding of his character.

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by JeanSyrotS 

4th December 2009:
i abosulutely adore this chapter!

I mean you explained an 'could be intense/sensative' subject into a laughing matter, but still got all the facts in for the reader, and STILL held the chemestry for Laura and Sirius.

Well i really enjoyed it, and i'm sorry i didn't review on the last chapter, i read it while i should have been studying for a test (blushes)
oh and i'll try to keep feed back, for the next week or two, but it is the end of the simester and we know that means finals, but i will be back!...lol

keep writing, i think you're amazing! and i'm on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Jean! Thanks for reviewing again! :D

Hey, you don't need to apologise for not reviewing - we all have real lives outside of hpff. I just like that you're reading my story, that means a lot to me. *beams*

And I'm very pleased that you liked my take on the House of Black, like you said it could be a bit intense but I think it worked the way it is. And yeah, the chemistry was still there. She just didn't recognise it. She's a bit thick sometimes. *grins*

thanks again, Mel


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Review #24, by lacycherbert 

2nd December 2009:
I have no idea how, but i missed this chapter, and only noticed it tonight when i saw you posted the next one!

Poor laura and sirius, they are so mixed up about each other, and need to get their signals straight.

One character that i love is Lily, the whole scene where she says sirius has fallen hard is amazing. You really portray lily in a way that I think J.K. would have if she wrote anything in the marauder era. so kudos to that.

I'm assuming the marauders threaten the male population against asking laura? And of course sirius wasn't able to control his temper!

Another kudos the amazing scene with sirius detailing his expected "love life" I don't think anyone has put that much detail into him in a long time!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

Ah, this chapter came up on about the 27th, like I promised before the break. I do like to try to keep my word with that sort of thing. But if it took you a bit longer to read it, well that's life, isn't it? It looks like you enjoyed it so that's the main thing. :D

You're the second person to comment about Lily in that scene, and the other person who did is a real Lily-James nut and so is really picky. And to have you both think I've nailed her is just so flattering, it makes my day. *beams*

I won't answer your question about the marauders scaring people off Laura. That gets answered, kind of, later on so it might be a spoiler. I'm pleased that you liked my take on the House of Black, though - I thought it was a worthwhile inclusion.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #25, by Chuckles 

2nd December 2009:
Hey Mel!

I've really been enjoying you story for about a little over a month now.. You've been inducted into My Favorites.. And that doesn't happen often ;-)

Your story now is one of the few that I turn to when I need a pick me up or an extra bright smile! Living vicariously through Laura is oh so much fun! Even if she drives us readers and her author crazy!

Your story has those special touches, like the smiles James, Remus and Lily can't hold back when Sirius is telling (and looking directly at Laura, I might add.. Squee!!) Laura how his mother would have no regard for his "personal preferences".. These make me swoon!

The characters are so spot on in their reactions and in what they say.

And your explanations and descriptions for the Black family, broom mechanics and maintenance, and other magically world nuances would read just like if J.K. Rowling had wrote them herself!

I bow down to your storytelling genius!!

Always anticipating the next chapter,
Chuckles!

Author's Response: Hi Chuckles! Thanks for reviewing again! :D

It's really great when people tell me that my story is one of their favourites - it just validates all the work I've put into it and it's really rewarding to have people like it so much. So thank you!

And, you know, you're the first person to mention the fact that he was looking at her when he said, "what I want, of course, is completely irrelevant" - and yes, of course that's what James, Lily and Remus were trying not to laugh at.

And wow, you really thank that much of my characterisations, not to mention broom mechanics and the Black family? That's ultra flattering. I did put a lot of work into that sort of thing but to have people say it's just like JKR, well that's the highest compliment you can pay a fanfic author, isn't it? So thanks again!

Just about to load up the next chapter so I hope you like that one too.

cheers, Mel


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