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20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Capella Black 

7th August 2011:
Ok, so I'm still confused as to how the summary can be true given the plot so far. I also really wish I hadn't read it at all, because anything that might spoil one word of this story is pure evil. Seriously, I just cleared my whole evening!

I love your Hermione - she's both utterly in character and yet changed by what she's been through. And Ronnie too is adorably believable - intelligent like his mother, serious like his upbringing. The atmosphere is edgy and keeps the reader desperate to skip the whole review malarkey and get on with the next chapter. The spelling, grammar, and sentence flow are as flawless as I'd expect from you. So, with nothing else useful to add, I'll go on to the next chapter!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hey Capella!

So you've found Crusade! I'm truly flattered. I do hope you like the ride. I like to think its a doozy.

Hermione is such a great character. I hope you find that I continue to do her justice. She'll go through somthing of a...transformation...in this tale. Ronnie; he gets some more development later on. I hope you like that, too.

Have no worries about leaving long reviews. No higher flatery out there than being so engrossed you don't want to waste time reviewing. You can make up for it by leaving an extra long one on the last chapter ;)

This whole thing is currently undergoing a final polish. I'm on the last chapter now; once that's done, I'll be reposting the entire tale from start to finish. No worries tho, as to what you might miss in the re write. Primarily some gramar hickups, a few clarifications and I make sure that Audrey makes an appearance so that it jives with the rest of the Crusadiverse (Battle of the Pitch, to be precise).

So, once again, welcome to Crusade!

Eldy


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Review #2, by LilyGreenEyes 

27th April 2011:
WOWZERS!

And that is not a word I use very often! This was utterly fantastic. You weaved so many different strands of your own universe and basic aspects of canon together so skillfully, I actually found myself questioning JKR's version of the Battle of Hogwarts.

The emotions portrayed are just stunning, as is the detail and the description. Absolutely stunning writing, as usual!

I'm suprised how much I enjoy your writing, and I mean that in the most positive way, because you know what a stickler I am for canon, but this is just something else. You write so well you make me ignore all my normal 'dislikes' of a story and overwhelm me with the power of your writing.

This is a fantastic start to a continuation of your own universe, and I truly cannot wait to read more!

You have a fantastic talent Eldy, and you really deserve to have stunning reviews!

Lily

Author's Response: Lily!!

I can't even begin to tell you how psyched I am that you're reading Crusade. You were my first big supporter years ago and to have you back reading this is just awesome.

And this review is simply amazing.

I wanted to start Crusade off with a bang; really the only way to do it to win over folks that don't like non-Canon, AU type stuff. I'm really thrilled you think it works.

Again, great to have you back!

Eldy


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Review #3, by Mintleaf 

12th April 2011:
I was trying to see how the summary and this chapter match up and just couldn't, so I snuck a peak at chapter two and I think I get it now haha! Anyway, this was fantastic! Your characterization of Draco is truly evil, and the world you've established here is certainly a grim one; but things like that make for great reading! :)

Author's Response: Hey! thanks so much for dropping by Children's Crusade.

This story is my magnum opus, so it always means a lot to me to get a great review for it.

I have this bad habit of always starting in the middle of a story. Sorry if I left you a little confused. But, I'm impressed you seemed to have figured out where its going. most folks are lost until chapter five.

Draco - he really has lost all of his humanity. No question. How that happened and why is more fully explained later on. I promise. But it was fun to write him this way. As for the world he inhabits, it is "grim." Good choice of word, there. It gets worse before it gets better. But, again, I'm really flattered you're enjoying it!

Eldy


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Review #4, by Miss Lily Potter 

15th August 2010:
So this is fantastic as well. You really have a talent for writing.

(And can I say that I just saw that this was completed, and I breathed a sigh of relief, because I wouldn't have to wait for more chapters. :D)

Poor Ronnie. ): I can't imagine what it must be like for Hermione, to have named her child after his dead father, and to see him whenever she looks at him.

I like that this takes place in France. Very nice, and you've already established the school in only one chapter. So, fantastic job.

I nearly cried while reading this chapter. Again. This was what really got me, though:

“I’m ok, Mum,” he soothed through watery eyes. “Don’t cry.”

Poor little Ronnie. ): He has to soothe his Mum. And poor Hermione, having to bring a child into her world.

Argh. Voldemort is a complete bastard. That's really an understatement, but... ARGH. Not since the actual series have I read a fic where I wanted him to die so badly.

Great beginning. I'm reading on, for sure. (:
-Jasmine

Author's Response: Blushing here. A lot! Thank you!

I hate fics that never get completed. Drives me nuts. So, I almost NEVER start posting a story unless its completed. Then I dole out a chapter a week. Actually, my most recent tale "Battle of the Pitch," which is a lead in to Crusade, was just completed this weekend. So, all of my tales relating to Crusade are up and completed.

Life in the AU is very difficult, horrible in fact. Is Hermione comforted or haunted by the fact Ronnie looks so much like his father? The later, I'm sure.

"I'm ok, Mum." That line always gets me too. Thanks for the praise!

Voldy is MUCH more dangerous in this reality, primarily because he's a little more cautious. that's not good for the home team. No promises as to whether he dies in the end!

Thanks again!

Elder


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Review #5, by melian 

8th August 2010:
I can't feel sorry for Lucius Malfoy, I'm afraid. He's a nasty man and if he gets Crucio'd occasionally I'm not going to jump to his aid.

Draco leading the assault did surprise me, but more in a "He's that high up?" sense than anything else. You really have set up a nasty reality for poor Hermione to live through, and I think that her son is remarkably stoic for a three-year-old, though then again if he was more used to a constant state of tension it's a believable trait. I just know that my own daughter, a year ago, would not nearly have been so brave at having an arm pricked.

Anyway I'm glad that Hermione's research, whatever it was, has paid off and she was able to Disapparate away with Ronnie. I dread to think what you have in store for her, though. Do some more reviewing so I can find out? :)

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Lucius Malfoy. Git! Yes, I really liked having him smacked around like that.

As to his and his son's placement in the regime, keep in mind that the Order and the DA were nearly all wiped out at the Battle. The DE's didn't fair much better, especially after Ron's Fiendfyre at Dover. There aren't many "reliable" DE's left.

Ronnie's characterization was tough. He is a bit young for the way I write him but I chalk it up to the fact that his father had the heart of a lion and his mother was always an old soul. Good genes. Added to this he's been brought up in a VERY dangerous world. It's toughened him up, more than any three year old should be.

What will happen to Hermione? Where did she go? Great questions.

If I can find the time, I'll see if I can add some podcasts to pull you back.

Thanks so much, Captain.

Elder


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Review #6, by RonsGirlFriday 

4th July 2010:
Hey TEW! I am morbidly behind on reviewing all things Crusade-related, no?

I always like it when a fic starts off in the thick of some kind of action and excitement, where it takes a few chapters for the readers to get a full idea of what's going on. I think you write the dark/action genres well, as this chapter seems full of chaos and mayhem and really throws the reader into it right from the beginning. I also like the fact that you've taken this to an international scale.

Melanie

Author's Response: Hey RGF! Behind? Let me tell you how behind I am...No worries! You know that. I'm thrilled you stopped by, as always!

I'm really glad you liked the open. I too love starting right in the middle of the mess, just too much fun doing it that way, even tho this whole chapter is so DARK.

I can't thank you enough for your praise!

TEW


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Review #7, by TallestTower 

1st July 2010:
Hello TEW! I've seen you around the mighty Gryffindor Common room (I'm Broomsticks at the forums) but I have never before read any of your writing. But yay for the story seekers! Because they sent me this way with a hearty reccomendation and I'm so glad I followed their advice.

I read your interview at HPPC, and I'm really interested about this idea of the two worlds. The potion, the blood and the weird necklace thing... all makes me want to read on so bad. I loved your characterization of Hermione. She seems to be in a horrible situation indeed (poor Hermione) but she comes across as such a strong main character. I think she is very Hermione here, which is lovely!

Little Ronnie melts my heart. Honestly, I just want to scoop him up. I wonder if he is going to the place that Hermione is?

There is so much I want to say in this review - you wrote the battle perfectly. Everything flowed. I wasn't bogged down by action, but you managed to paint the scene of a horrific battle without dwelling on it for ages.

This is just so well written. The tone of your writing and your creativity is great. I really liked the phrase “You know why the French planted trees along the Champs-Élysées? So that we Germans could march in the shade.” That one piece of speech created a character out of nowhere - brilliant.

The revealing of Draco was perfect too - I did not see that coming!

Another phrase about a character I loved was describing the charm's proffessor:

"At five feet four inches, stout, with a balding pate, he reminded her so much of Slughorn in appearance, Dumbledore in temperament"

Brilliant! All the characters are so vivid in this fic, it's a pleasure to read. And the plot has sucked me in - once I got my mind around the fact that Voldemort was still alive, and that Harry and Ron were dead... I would read on and on right now and leave you some more reviews but I gotta go to sleep. However, I'm favouriting this story adding it to my summer reading list!

So I promise this isn't a one time, me just gushing about it type of thing then not coming back for more. I really did enjoy this. There is lots more I want to say, but I'm rambling now so I best stop.

Well described, I was never lost. Brilliant!
Thank you for posting!

~TallestTower

Author's Response: Broomsticks! (or TT, if you prefer) Really great to hear from you. This has just been so great getting new readers from the podcast. I owe Rita big time!

And this amazing review is just...AMAZING! Thanks so much.

Crusade is pretty much my magnum opus, so getting a review like this for the first chapter really makes my head swell.

Hermione is central to this story, so I'm really glad you liked her characterization. Yes, she's been through a horrible ordeal, but I hoped she'd still be recognizable. I'm glad you think she is.

My OC's were fun to write and I'm glad you liked their depictions. I'm always concerned about that with new characters. But don't get too attached! No ones safe in this story till the last page is read!

I really look forward to hearing from you again.

Thanks!

Eldy (or TEW or Elder - I answer to just about anything. LOL!)

P.S. Small spoiler: yes, Ronnie is going with Hermione - to wherever she's going...


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Review #8, by Edward Ollivander 

1st July 2010:
Goodbye Lucius. next. I can't wait to find out exactly what she just did. Something tells me it was a bit more cplicated than just disapparating. things sure to seem hopeless though. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Yeah, Lucius isn't having a good day. As for answers, they're coming, but not for several chapters.

Hopeless? Pretty close, but I make no promises for a happy ending.

Thanks for reviewing!

TEW


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Review #9, by whisky 

21st May 2010:
THATS IT!! SOMEONE IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!! WHY DID YOU KILL THEM??? THERE IS NO POINT ANYMORE!!! I DONT WANT THEM DEAD!! but you write so welll...HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT? can you teach me? where do you get your ideas from? wow, you are BRILLIANT!! bu im still truly mad that they dies. i dont know if i wanna read this anymore...should i? HEY maybe they come back from the dead? or all the good guys leave this world and they go to heaven, leave the good guys on earth, or rotting in hell, and build a whole new world up there with the angels!!! OK THAT IS MY IDEA, I THINK IM GNA WRITE A STORY LIKE THAT, DOESNT IT SOUND AWSOME?
anyways, Eldy, i just wanna say that i find u THE CLEVEREST MUGGLE OF OUR AGE!! GO YOU!!

Author's Response: Mwahahaha!

All I can say is keep reading and it'll all make sense, in a good way. Trust me!

That said, this is really high praise. Thank you!

So, how did I do this? Well, I kinda had to. You see, my first story on this site was Stop All The Clocks. The first chapter of Crusade picks up where Clocks left off: everyone dead and Hermione on the run. I just couldn't let Clocks end like that, so I wrote Crusade. And, like I said, if you read on, I think you'll be happy.

Can I teach you? Wow. Dunno. Heck, I'm not even sure where I get my ideas from. My muse is just overactive.

Anyway, thanks so much and I hope you keep reading.

TEW


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Review #10, by Mini_Moony 

7th May 2010:
That was amazing... I never read AU because canon is usually very sacred to me. But your story may have me changing my mind. First of all your plot is a work of art. The way that Ron dies to defend Hermione and his unborn child seems so real that it could have actually happened! Hermione's run with her son and the continuation of the War are so vivid. I feel like every detail was ingrained in my brain. And when Ronnie said "Don't cry, mum." I just about lost it!

I'm gonna shut up now so I can read more!

Thank you!
MM
Moonbeams!

Author's Response: Breathtaking review. Thanks!

I'm usually not much of a fan of AU either, but my first story, Stop All The Clocks was one, because I wanted to write somthing original and give Ron a chance to be the undisputed hero. When I finished it, I couldn't leave it be. Children's Crusade is the result of my inability to leave well enough alone.

Ron's death scene...hold on tight, because I promise you'll get a much more vivid look at it later on. Regardless, I'm really glad you like what you've seen so far. Ronnie's "don't cry, mum," still chokes me up on occasion, too. Flatered it struck you.

Thanks for this amazing review and I can't wait to hear what you think of the rest of this tale.

TEW


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Review #11, by PrincessPadfoot 

30th April 2010:
:O
OMFDP (oh my frozen dairy products) I am soo enthralled already (and it's only chapter one). This story is very different from anything else I have read on here (in a good way I assure you).

Soo...Ron is Ronnie's father, Hermy is having to move from place to place to escape the ministry, and Lord Voldemort has grown in power. Scary 9yet oddly thrilling at the same time)!!!

Must read more!

Author's Response: "Oh my fozen dairy products"? That's an exclamation I haven't heard before for this tale! Excellent!

This story is, up to this point, my crown jewel. Nearly all my posted stories relate to it in one way or another, so to get a gushing review like this is just awesome. Thanks!

Yep, Ron is Ronnie's father and Hermy has been running for her life for four years. But, I'm gonna throw a nasty curve ball at you in the next chapter. Don't worry. Everything will make sense by the end of Chapter 5.

Again, thanks so much for leaving this great review.

TEW



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Review #12, by MrsKatieGrint 

27th February 2010:
Wow.. Amazing start! It just flowed seemlessly! Amazing really, everything is so detailed, and all your backround facts are there. The chapter doesn't skip around or anything! Absolutly amazing! Really fantastic job.:D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the exellent review!

I always like to start off with a bang and I'm glad you enjoyed that.

I hope the rest of the tale lives up to expectations.


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Review #13, by Jackson Robles 

24th February 2010:
What a pleasant beginning yeah? And a sequel too, I must say you don't lie when you say it stands alone.

I really want to read on, so I'm sorry to say this won't be too long. Right, then, here's the important.

I like the narrative voice. It has a feel and power all its own, different from that of a regular, not objective, but not necessarily good either; simply opinionative.

Besides that it's wonderful, I'll swear by it.

Sorry it's rather short, but know that I really like it,
Jackson

Author's Response: Jackson! Didn't expect you here so quick. thanks for the great review and no worries about the length. If i've got you wanting to find out what's next, that's the highest praise out there.

This story does stand on its own, but, naturally, this tale doesn't give the back story with all the bells and whistles.

Thanks again for the great review.


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Review #14, by white_eyebrow 

23rd February 2010:
Hello Elderwand,

This has everything that I look for in a first chapter: a good hook to grab my attention (the action of the battle), along with plot elements that left me wondering, 'how the heck did all this happen?' Which means, of course, I'll have to click that 'next chapter' button to find out.

You've made Draco delightfully menacing here. It seems like he'll actually turn out to be a competent villain in this incarnation.

I really felt Hermione's desperation when she summoned that bit of dark magic. I always thought Hermione was a border-line Mary Sue, so this dark streak makes her seem more three-dimensional to me. Moreover, it shows how really bad things must have gotten.

Good mix of characters here in this chapter: Enough CC's to maintain the look-and-feel of the fandom, along with some OC's to give the promise of something fresh.

Well on to the next,

--WE

Author's Response: Hey! Well if it ain't the talented author of Prisoner of Hope. Thanks for coming by and leaving such a great review.

I like to start things off with a bang, so I'm glad you thought that worked.

"How the heck did all this happen?" The prequel, "Stop All the Clocks" answers most of those questions, but not all of them. I left a bit of a plot hole in that tale and when I discovered it, it allowed for this sequel. Regardless, this tale is intended to stand on its own and, if you keep reading, I promise the answers are on their way. (But feel free to check out "Clocks" LOL).

Draco definitely has gotten in touch with his dark side and I explain how he lost his last scrap of humanity in chapter 14.

Yes, the AU is a very nasty place and Hermione has adapted to keep herself and her son alive. Those skills come in handy later...

Again, I'm really glad you came by and I look forward to hearing from you again. And to more Prisoner of Hope.

sinc

TEW

P.S. The OC's were fun to write. Wait till you see...well, I don't wanna give too much away.


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Review #15, by Laugharama_llama 

26th December 2009:
Hello! I'm here with your review from the forums! I apologize for taking so long!!

Wow, this was very creative!! I'm very impressed as to how you've woven this through JKR's original story. I like it a lot! The action is really on point, and I think you include the right amount of detail and mystery throughout this chapter. It's always very difficult to do that with first chapters, and especially with action stories!

I love how you added the idea of other countries and parts of the world being affected by the war. I like that you incorporated Madame Maxime's allegiance to the Voldemort resistance. I forgot all about that; she wasn't mentioned at all in the 7th book! I also like how you mentioned Durmstrang and their allegiance to Voldemort. It really showed how literally everyone was affected and had to choose who they would stand with.

Wonderful introduction! 10/10

Author's Response: Wow! What a glowing review! Thank you, and Happy Boxing Day.

The action sequences here were fun to write; I'm glad you enjoyed them. I thought having most of the "Durmstrang countries" side with Voldy would add an aire of desperation. Also, I liked the idea of France standing alone; kind of a flipped version of WW2.

Thanks for the great review.


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Review #16, by Estelle Black 

11th December 2009:
Hi MissSpitfire/Estelle Black from the forums here
WOAH one dramatic chapter and it's only the first.
YAY Hermione got away, wonder what will happen to her and her young son Ronnie. I feel so sorry for her though she lost her husband and her best friend that has got to suck. But ay not all stories are happy are they now?
Well best get onto the next chapter.
Estelle XOX

Author's Response: Hi Estelle!

Yeah, the first chapter's a little dark. But, never fear, things lighten up soon. I think a good angsty chapter helps build the drama. LOL.

Thanks for the review!



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Review #17, by TheDirigiblePlum 

7th December 2009:
Sorry it's taken me so long to review this! School and maths (mainly) have taken over my life for the moment. :(

Anyway! Again I love all the action of your stories, it's always really pacy and also manages to contain some human emotion within it too, which makes it all the more real, because I can't imagine Hermione could ever use a curse like that without having to at least think about it first. So I like to see the thought processes behind it. :)

Would Draco ever be that evil? Is he acting purely on orders or is it also because he wants to? It was still a shock to realise it was him who was the young wizard though! A story with shocks and surprises is always a good one! Love it. :D

It's really cool how you've continued the War we see in the last HP book into countries other than England. It makes it seem much more substantial and threatening that way. I bet if Harry hadn't killed Voldemort this is what Voldemort would've done. I can't believe Harry's dead in your story! Seeing a vial of his blood was so sad. :( (lol I get really into stories... I like to pretend I'm there. :D)

Can't wait to read more!!

10/10

Author's Response: DP!

So glad you came by! And thanks for the great review.

Hermione has been scarred and changed pretty significantly due to what she went through in Stop all the Clocks. But she hasn't lost herself. I hope you like how I develop her later in the story.

Draco! You're the first to have realized that he's so inhuman here, contrary to how he's portrayed in the last several books. There is a VERY good reason for that, which (I hope) does fit into canon about his family. But I don't address this until about Chapter 14. I really hope you like my explanations about that when you read it.

Harry dead? Hm. You'll just have to read on! And wait until you see just how bad things have gotten in France.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #18, by 1917farmgirl 

25th November 2009:
Oh this is a dark world you have created here. Poor, poor Hermione, living through that, alone and trying to protect her son, no hope on the horizon.

Are you SURE this sequel is supposed to make me feel better?

All that aside, you have once again outdone yourself with the skillful writing. I felt like I was there in the thick of it again, actually had to calm my breathing a few times. And your characteriziations of everyone are spot on, even the minor characters.

Well done!

Now, do I dare read more?

Author's Response: Read more! Read more!

I promise it gets much happier...for awhile.

Yeah, I just couldn't leave Hermione alone with her grief in Calais. There is a better place in her future...

Thanks so much for coming back! And for the tremendous review!


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Review #19, by siledubhghlase 

20th November 2009:
GULP! It appears all is lost now. But where did Hermione go? Madame Maxime said something about two worlds being lost to darkness. Has she traveled to an alternate universe or to another place in time? Okay, a better place anyway.

At the mention of Harry's blood in that vial, the chest constricted, the breathing hitched, and the tears began to flow. And then the addition of her own blood and little Ronnie's basically reunited the Golden Trio once again in a way. *sob*

Frederick Dorninger reminds me of a Hermann Goering type. I thought the guy in the cloak might be Draco and your text confirmed it. Of course it's Ferret-boy. Who else? The comment about Germans marching in the shade sent shivers up my spine and brought images of hundreds of goose-stepping SS stormtroopers marching into Paris to my mind. Ew.

Draco may be making the grade--at least somewhat--but Lucius, on the other hand, is about to become a pile of gibbering goo from the sounds of it. Beauxbatons may have fallen, but Hermione and Ronnie escaped yet again. I have a feeling Goering--er--Dorninger is going to suffer greatly. A mess of Inferi blasted and burnt to a crisp by the Mudblood who got away again. They may all three pay for that.

I find it interesting that the spell that killed Ron is the one that saved Hermione's and little Ronnie's bacon.

EXCELLENT, Mike!

Author's Response: Sheila!

I'm so glad you're liking this. I always love the Gulp! reaction. All is not lost; not this time (I hope anyway - but, as you know from my writing, no character is safe until the last page is read!). Safe to say Hermione is on her way to "A Better Place."

Yep. Dorninger's patterned on Goering and I just love the phrase Ferret-Boy; so fitting.

I thought it fitting that Hermione use the spell that killed Ron to protect Ronnie. She's become one exceedingly tough witch. She doesn't have a choice given how nasty her world is.

Really glad you liked it and thanks so much for the AWESOME review.


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Review #20, by AvadaKedavra1 

19th November 2009:
Wow I am so excited to read this work. It's about time you started posting!

You know most of my comments, which you adjusted as needed, so all the old stuff is fine!

One grammar thing, last line of the chapter--
“It appears she was able to DisApparate…” Not sure if you meant to capitalize the A, but thats the way it showed up.

Now, to really, really, senselessly nitpick. All through Deathly Hallows and well the other books, we say instances where Alohamora, Accio Diadem/Locket etc, didnt work. For some reason Finite Incantatem seemed too simple for me in this story. I remember your post, or someone's post, where I responded about Finite ending spells.

I guess since we know Hermione was exposed to Feindfyre in DH, Finite Incantatem seems too simple. Like, yo, she would have used that in the Room of Requirement.

You go on and on about Hermione mastering such a nasty spell, it just feels odd that a first year could stop it.

Make sense?

Fantastic chapter, though you never really said this was a sequel anywhere. I know whats up, but others may not!

AK1

Author's Response: Hey Bro! Thanks for dropping by!

I'll fix the Disapparate. As to the finite incantatem, i was hoping to convey that she's in complete control of this nasty little spell so that a mere finite from her is enough. Perhaps I should rethink that. Hmmm.

Its not until Chapter 5 that I mention Clocks in an A/N. The plan is that the story summary and the first four chapters will do the trick for those not in the know. I suppose we shall see how that plays out...

Thanks for the great review!


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