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19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by classicblack 

11th December 2011:
Oh how I absolutely LOVED that last line . "Just for the record: I wouldn't mind one bit if a Muggle-born tried to give me a love potion." Hahaha I had this huge silly grin on my face after I read it- I don't even know why I thought it was so funny. I love James, though, and I like that you haven't made him mature completely since his former years of obsessing over Lily; he still adds his quirky, slightly-inappropiate sense of humour in there too. It's nice :)
Also, the drama with the poisoned love-potions makes the war seem really real and present in the story (I know I've already said this before, but I thought it needed pointing out again) Great job!
I really liked this chaper. Well done!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you loved that line. It still makes me smile when I think of it, too. :D

I don't think James would ever be freed from a little bit of immaturity. And that's okay, because I don't think he had to become some serious, stuffy adult just to get Lily to like him. I think she probably always liked his sense of humour, except when it led him to hurting or humiliating other people. I think THAT'S the side he kind of (though not completely) left behind, and what made her start to see him differently.

That's precisely what I was trying to do with the Love Potion story line, so I'm glad it had the desired effect.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #2, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
'...my parents organized this big sledging trip with all my friends' - sorry I picked this up last chapter and forgot it at the end of my review. Probably should be sledding trip! In Australia, sledging is something that cricketers do to one another in the form of clever insults. Which would have been an interesting party!

Anyway, onto my review of this chapter. I think you're handling the growing tensions very well. Of course, it isn't like Harry's war - not everything is just out there, Voldemort would still be testing his boundaries at this early stage.

Again, enjoying how the characters are developing. Anna is interesting, she's such a hot head and so bitter about everything, as well as being suspicious, but she would be a good friend to have on your side.


“You know, Lily—wait, why’s Anna doing here?” - another little typo - I'd reckon it should probably be what instead of why.

Author's Response: Again, these small corrections are really helpful! I think I must have read "sledging" in the context I used it in once, but you're right--Googling it definitely turns up many more results related to cricket than winter sports! :D And that line should definitely have "what" rather than "why". I should really finish editing this whole thing, and then probably go over it again! ;)

I do try to create some deliberate contrasts with the war Harry lived through and the one his parents did, and I'm happy they sound realistic! I agree that Voldemort's approach at this time would have been different, and plus, it's kind of fun to have some creative license with this stuff!

I think that's a great summary of Anna--she's definitely got some major flaws, but I do think she's a good friend. Yet another reason why I always liked her more than Mary! :P

Thank you again!


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Review #3, by lily_evans_ginny_weasley 

2nd February 2011:
Ohhh, that's adorable. (The last bit, of course.) I'm going to keep reading now...

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad to hear you liked that last exchange! James has a real potential for being pretty swoon-worthy, I think, which is part of the fun of writing his character. :P

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by doglover 

3rd January 2011:
ya james would be jumping up and down for joy if a certain muggle-born tried to give him a love potion...not that she would have to.

Author's Response: Hahaha, you make a very good point. ;) Sometimes it seems like she's already given him one!

Thanks again!


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Review #5, by TheBattleOfHogwarts 

14th December 2010:
Aww, that last line was so cute! I love your portrayal of James and Lily!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for all these reviews--I guess I replied to them kind of out of order, but hopefully that's okay. :P

I'm so glad you liked that last line. It's a bit of a knee-weakener, isn't it? ;) And I'm thrilled you think I portray James and Lily well! Characterization is always a tricky thing to pin down.


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Review #6, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
"I wouldn't mind one bit if a Muggle-born tried to give me a love potion."

I laughed really hard.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you laughed at that line! Classic James!

Thank you!


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Review #7, by _hedwig_ 

23rd April 2010:
I hate blood purity. It makes no sense.

Author's Response: Nope, no sense at all. And what makes it even sillier is that it wasn't just fictional characters that lost their lives over that subject. :/

Anyway...I think on that note, I'll say thank you and take a page from your book and edge out of the room...er, response box.


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Review #8, by allie_0608 

13th April 2010:
Aww, that last line was adorable lol.

And I lived in Southern California before I moved here, I kinda miss it cause the coast is like 6 hrs from where I' am now and living near the beach my whole life, it's just kind of weird lol.

Author's Response: Ahh, yes, there was some adorable-ness on James' part there. He kind of does that sometimes. :P

I know what you mean; it was definitely very nice to live near the beach! And the weather was gorgeous...but as I said before, proper seasons with falling leaves and snow and blooming flowers certainly have their charm too. :)

Thanks for another review!


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Review #9, by Kerry Cho 

30th November 2009:
OMG OMG OMG
what will lily say next??!!
:P
anyways keep the good work, loving the story! :D

Author's Response: Yay, a review from someone new! I love it when new readers take a minute to tell me what they thought of the story. I'm excited that you're so curious about what's going to happen next! It reassures me that people out there are finding the story interesting, which is always good. :)

And never fear: you'll find out what Lily says (or maybe what James says--actually, both of them) in the next chapter, first thing! I hope you enjoy it, and do feel free to come back and review again! I'd love to hear what you think.

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #10, by rose 

26th November 2009:
Wow! Your story is brilliant :)
I love marauder era fanfics and yours is definitely one of my favourites.
i've loved the story so far and i can't wait to read more... you've captured lily and james wonderfully, well done!
keep it up :D

Author's Response: Hi Rose! Thanks for the review!

I love Marauder-Era stories as well, and I'm so pleased that you like mine, and that you think Lily and James are characterized well. It's very hard at times, but getting reviews like yours make it all worth it! :)

I hope you'll come back and read the new chapter when it's up, and definitely feel free to tell me what you thought of it! I love hearing feedback.

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by 1BUNHEAD2 

25th November 2009:
oooh please post more! You have really sucked me in! I honestly love your writing! You make me forget that this is fan fiction and not the real deal! Its very believable and i am looking forward to some action! Thankyou so much for posting your wonderful stories!

Author's Response: Hi there! Well, this was certainly a nice review to wake up to in the morning. :) I love that you love the story! And I'm really glad that you find it believable, as that's something that's very important to me.

Don't worry, more is on the way! The chapter's been in the queue since the 18th so hopefully any day now. :) And then more will follow, of course. I really hope you'll keep reading and reviewing. I just love hearing readers' thoughts on the story!

Thank you so much for giving me this wonderful review!


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Review #12, by envoked 

23rd November 2009:
Well, I just finished reading all 16 chapters one after the other and I must say : I ABSOLUTELY ADORED IT ALL =D
Honestly, I love how your characters and plots are so blievable ! I feel so engrossed in the story, I really think you know how to wrap a reader around your fingers.

I can't wait to read more chapters !
-envoked

Author's Response: Wow! Those chapters are fairly long, so reading them all in one string is no small feat! I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed the story enough to make your way through them all.

I'm so glad you think the characters and the story are believable. I really strive to make it all realistic, so hearing positive feedback on that subject is just amazing. :) Haha, being able to wrap a reader around my finger makes me feel a little diabolical...but also just super flattered that you find it that interesting!

Hopefully a new chapter will be up within the next few days. I'd love to hear what you have to say about it, so please drop me a review if you have the time! Thanks so much for taking a moment to write this one out. :)


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Review #13, by laura lollypop 

23rd November 2009:
i love it! love it love it love it!! 10/10 its stories like these that really make trolling through fanfiction worthwhile! i much prefer the more serious and believable spin you have put on the old lily and james story to the countless insincere fluff that gets put on here! not that i hate the fluff :) hehe but its nice to have a refreshing change! i will be awaiting your updates with anticipation, your writing is fantastic and i love your plot, have i already mentioned that? anyways, you rock!! xxx

Author's Response: :D Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you happened upon the story and found it enjoyable. I completely know what you mean about fluff--I definitely love it too, but I just think there's another way of telling the story that's just as endearing and compelling. (Not that I can say if I've achieved that or not, but I'm so flattered that you think I have.)

I'm hoping there will be an update in the next couple of days...I'm at the mercy of the lovely HPFF staff on that one, though. I do hope you'll read the next chapter when it's up and tell me your thoughts.

And clearly, you are the one who rocks for taking the time to write me such a nice review! Thanks!


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Review #14, by Honeybunny777 

22nd November 2009:
OMG! I love this chapter!I just wish that there were more chapters than 16 so I can read more of your work. :( and then... :D

PS: If I could, I would rate this story 20/10

Author's Response: Ooh, I'm so excited to hear from a new reviewer! And even more excited that you like the story!! I'm so flattered you think it deserves a 20 out of 10.

I'm sorry there's no more chapters right now, but hopefully one will be up sometime this week! I hope you'll come back and read it and tell me what you thought. :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to review! It brightened my entire day!


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Review #15, by Harry and Ginny 

20th November 2009:
this took an interesting twist. maybe it was the Slytherins who sold Love Potions within Hogwarts but i look 4ward to know what u'll write. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I'm glad you thought the twist was interesting--and you won't have to wait long to figure out whether your guess was right or not! The next chapter's waiting for validation already. :)

Thanks for the review, as always!


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Review #16, by Groundswell 

19th November 2009:
I was actually a little sad to read this chapter because now I can't click >> anymore :( I just wants to read more of this fantastic story.

I really like the way you write the threads of Voldemort in this. I know I've said it before, but there's just a perfect amount of it. Not too much, not too little. Just perfect, and you demonstrate this very well in chapter 14.

And oh, James really show that he can be head boy! This was a perfect scene for them to.. what to say?... reunite after the holliday. In a way :P

I just don't understand why Lily is so embarresed about being friend with James again. Or the whole cake eating deal? She could have saved a lot of troubles with Anna is she just said what she had been doing, or at least said something. They would have forgiven her I'm sure. After all it's James. And as Lily says, Anna did not want to apologize, and now I get a feeling there's some tensions between them.

Another great Head Duty thing. Of course they'll get things to know before others. I completely understand Lily can't help but wonder about the protections.

Ursula is so childish! Urgh, just because he wasn't in a great mood. It's not like he dumped her after a kiss or anything. There weren't even anything!

I love, love, love this line; “Yeah, she’s sitting on that pedestal you put her on years ago,” Sirius said, smirking. “Hasn’t moved since, actually.” Made me laugh.

Absolutely loved that scene in general. Sirius was right, Head Boys have been totured in the past, the seventh needs a little something too :D Wonderful scene.

There's actually yet another thing I haven'g given you credit for, but that might be because I haven't given it a lot of thought. Usually I hate it very much when POV is changed, but it just fit here. It seems naturally and... well, great here also.

And James get an idea through too. Through chapters 14 and 15 we can really see that he in a way cares very much for this position and takes it very seriously, yet still have time for pranking and having fun.

I love the whole idea James got with the cake. This could easily have failed, but once again, you succeeds and make a... an overused idea so much better than I have ever seen you before. And that's what I really love about your story. You takes used and overused scenes and make them seem new, better and well written. If one told me about the elements of this story, I rpobably wouldn't have given it much of a chance, but you really save it with the way you sort it out and write them. Fantastic.

In a way, that really is an awkward parting after the cake-part. A hug, but I got a feeling they both think they've come to that place.

Once again, you give Remus more depth and makes me sympathize with him. He just wants to be loved for him. And I understand he would feel a little like that, but truthfully, they just wants to be his friends.

Your Peter. Loves him more and more. I'm really glad you've made him a real part of the Marauders.

I'm not exactly sure where you're going with this love potion thingy? It seems a strange thing to put into this story, but I'm sure you'll be able to come up with some perfect ending to it.

In a way I'm glad they excluded Regulus and Severus. It would have been like Lily to tattle on them anyways. Always protect the ones you care about... or the ones of ones you care about :P

And congratulations of making my very short list of Favourite Authors. I really didn't want anyone with only one story on it (because it might not reflect much of what the author can do), but you really seem talented, and I do love your writing style very much. - My way of writing a very huge compliment.

Oh, and for the record, please call me Vicki. Groundswell makes it sound so impersonal :P

Anyways... I'm actually in a bit of a hurry, so I just want to end up saying I've truly loved the chapters so far. I hope you'll update soon. I just can't wait!

Author's Response: Thanks for another incredible review, Vicki! Now, where to begin...

I'm glad the pedestal line and the scene with Sirius bugging James made you laugh. :) I'm not always the best with humour so it always makes me feel good when someone gets a chuckle out of what I've written. I'm also really happy that you still like the way I've characterized the Marauders. I feel so terribly sorry for Remus when I imagine what it would be like to be him. It's tough enough to just be a regular teenager!

And I love this compliment: "You take used and overused scenes and make them seem new, better and well written." That makes me feel fantastic about my writing, so thank you. :) I'm glad you liked the birthday scene, and you're right--it definitely pushed Lily and James (well, Lily, mostly) towards "that place". As for Lily's apparent embarrassment about being friends with James, I think she didn't say anything about where she had been because it probably wouldn't have made the situation any better. Anna wouldn't really care where Lily had been, only that she wasn't there. And the other thing about Anna is that she's not actually that mad at Lily, just frustrated. The tension between her and Lily is actually coming more from Lily's side. I don't want to say too much more just because there's going to be a bit of a plotline about this in the future...but hopefully it will all make sense by the end of the story!

I'm glad you're enjoying the Head duties that I've thought up. I really think James would be fairly enthusiastic about being Head Boy. I think it would have made him feel more confident about himself. Which might sound strange, since we always hear that he was bordering on arrogance, but I think that the combination of the disappointment Dumbledore would have expressed after Severus almost got killed and what Lily said to him in fifth year would have made him uncertain. I think that he would have always respected Lily's opinion, and hearing her say those things must have had some effect on him. (I might be giving it too much weight, but that's my opinion, anyway!)

On the love potion storyline--I won't say too much about this one either, since it's going to continue on in the next few chapters. Again, I hope it makes sense and that I manage to pull it off in a way that isn't strange or anything. It's part of the "threads of Voldemort" that you mentioned, though.

Character limit is killing me again, so I'll just say that Ursula is definitely childish, although I do have some sympathy for her, and that I'm really glad you don't mind the POV switches.

As for being on your list of Favourite Authors: WOW! Thank you so, so much! I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to add authors with only one story, so what an amazing compliment. :)

Thank you again for making my day with a review! The next chapter's waiting in the queue, so it all depends on when the validators have time to look it over...but hopefully not too much longer than a week!


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Review #17, by rainbowsocks 

19th November 2009:
OMG I LOVE THE ENDING. so cute ♥
i loved this chapter in general, except for..why are mary and anna acting like that ?
loved it; update soon
xoxo ~

Author's Response: Hi, rainbowsocks! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. James can be pretty cute sometimes, can't he? :)

And as for Mary and Anna, it's partly just their personalities and partly other things which will get clarified in future chapters...so I can't give you too many details on that storyline, but I hope it makes sense later on!

Next chapter is in the queue already! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.


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Review #18, by Leigh Kelley 

18th November 2009:
Haha. I was actually about to review this when I noticed your request, so let's just say I'm here as more of a fan, yeah?

I don't know how you do it, but not one of the chapters I have read so far can be considered dull. You just always seem to include something to excite the reader, that leaves your chapters from being considered filler. I like that, as it keeps me on my toes.

I'm glad that Anna and Lily made up. So it didn't seem sincere enough on Anna's part. It's almost as if Mary made her apologize, just so that the three of them could hang out again. Which is sad, because it wasn't Lily's fault she wasn't present for the surprise. They could have done it a bit differently, you know? Such as one of them making sure Lily came to the dormitory at a certain time. So in a sense, it's their fault. Don't mind me; just had to get that out there. In case Anna is listening xD.

I still can't get over how different your Lily is. Most portray her as this over-strict, rule-abiding stiff. It's a nice change to see her letting the skirt-thing slide. Do you know how many would have used that opportunity for her to pop a lid and dock points?

I'm starting to like Mary's attitude less and less. I don't know why it's so hard for her to understand that Remus can't be more than a friend to her. Of course Remus is to blame in this as well, what with him previously leading her on. But, after a while, you just have to let it go. She just seems so incredibly clingy to me. There are plenty of other guys out there. No need getting yourself sick over it. She makes no sense with the 'you're supposed to be my best friend' comment. Lily has been very nice about the whole thing, and Mary shouldn't be taking her bad mood out on her. I will say this though, you wrote it all very believably. Mary reacted in a way we as the readers would expect her to by now, and the scene would have been strange written any other way.

There were some cute bits in this. I loved it when you had James and Lily interacting without speaking. Can I tell you how smiley I got when he was making faces at her? It's just so adorable, and shed some light into an otherwise miserable scene. It seems just like him too, especially since they are getting more comfortable around each other. Then there was that line at the end, but I'll get to that later.

Ugh. Poisoning students through love potions? Honestly? It's a very intelligent thing to do, and I wouldn't put it past those Slytherins. Who else could it be? Does this perhaps have something to do with that earlier scene with Bellatrix and the Slytherin bunch back at the Shrieking Shack? Not that you can answer even if it does (;. It would fit though. I mean, targeting students inside the castle in a non-lethal way. Just to scare them a bit, and in the process even prove their allegiance. I think Lily has it right, as much as James may not want to believe it.

The last line was perfect. A bit of the old James, and it gave me a silly grin. I liked it, and I hope Lily did too.

Anyway. It was a lovely chapter, as I mentioned before. Lily still feels left out, there's a little mystery to be solved, and James is being nice. I love it, because you don't once forget the things that occurred during the Marauders era. Sure we don't know everything, and it gives you the creative freedom to invent some stuff, but none of it has yet had me cocking my eyebrow due to finding it incredulous. It's just the right amount of strife. Good job with that.

I still like your plot, your writing has me jealous, and your characters are so real and flawed that I can't help but relate to every single one of them. Whether it is with a need to knock one cross the head, console the other, or just hug the next to bits for being too cute. I just enjoy all of it. Haha, strange I know, but it goes to show it's good stuff when you evoke some sort of reaction from the reader. I have not one criticism.

I wish you had more reviews. You're an incredible writer and this story is great. Keep it up :).

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I'm so flattered that you were going to read this without the request! What a HUGE compliment. :) And I'm just so happy that you think none of the chapters are dull. Sometimes I think I'm boring people out of my minds, and now I at least know that I'm not boring one person! Haha.

You hit the nail on the head with Mary making Anna apologize. Anna, of course, would see no reason to apologize, and she probably would have just moved on from it. She tends to be very harsh about things, but she's one of those people who just need a cooling-off period. I think she would have recognized and admitted to herself that their surprise plan wasn't very well-thought-out, but she's not really the type of person who would have admitted much remorse over it. The discomfort about their friendship is coming from Lily's side, not Anna's, although that's very difficult to separate since we're seeing it from Lily's perspective.

Mary is frustrating, isn't she? Can I admit that I'm a cruel person--that I'm aware that she's annoying and I'm making my readers suffer through it? Haha. I guess the thing is, there are lots of people out there who are like Mary. Dependent, overly emotional, very unhealthy when it comes to relationships. I think that by the end of the story Mary will come off in a different light, though. (Or at least I hope this will happen, if I can write it well.) The "You're supposed to be my best friend" line will also come back, and in a more coherent context, I think. But you're completely right in thinking that she's terribly irritating at this point, and I'm fully okay with that. :)

Oh yes...the smiling across the Three Broomsticks is just...well, like you said, adorable. And sometimes verbal communication is overrated, anyway. Although I'm glad you liked the line at the end. It's definitely James' cheekier side shining through.

I'll have to make you wait on the poisoning thing, as it will unravel in the next couple of chapters. Although I often find with these sorts of things that it turns out to be the person that you most suspect. ;)

Everything else you said--about my writing, the characters, the story being realistic--well, I just don't know what to say except thank you so, so much! (And sometimes I wish I had more reviews too...but then again, I'm extremely pleased with all the ones I already have, especially yours!)

I'll let you know when another chapter's up! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful and faithful reviewer.


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Review #19, by Gerduchka 

18th November 2009:
Like the smiles and the feelings between James&Lily. The almost-in-love phase is so great! I love stories with it :)

Post soon :):)

Author's Response: Thanks, Gerduchka! I agree, the almost-in-love phase is really fun. It kind of gives you the warm fuzzies, doesn't it? :P

I already stuck the new chapter in the queue, so hopefully it'll be up within the next week-and-a-half or so.

Thank you so much for taking a moment to review the story! I really appreciate it.


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