10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ak 

22nd March 2014:
You got Sirius's parents' names wrong. His mother is Walburga and his father is Orion.

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Review #2, by TheGoldenKneazle 

21st August 2011:
Hi there! It's me off the forums with your review :)

First off, I really like the mulitple plotlines you've worked into this chapter. It's really interesting to see how the different parts of Sirius's life are coming together, and how all the events are affecting him. This is a seriously long chapter, though - maybe you could split it up into two or three next time? It's more enticing of you know you can break it up, annoying as the in-between wait is.

I love how you have the Marauders' in this; James is so supportive of Sirius, and Remus is quite the cynic, although we haven't seen much of Peter's character so far (when do we ever? He's like that). I loved how we could see Sirius's reactions reined in by James and Remus, and that they could help each other.

The flow of this is pretty good; you have Sirius's emotions slowly boiling up to his shouting match with Regulus, and then the emotional outlet of running around with the Marauders. Also because so much has been introduced, you definitely want to read the second chapter!

Your quality of writing is pretty good - pretty easy to read, at least. The only two canon errors I could see were Molly being 'Henderson' not 'Prewett', and Sirius' mum being Alexandria, not Walburga (see the Black Family Tree on the lexicon if you need any Black family help!).

So overall, pretty good chapter! Great job :)
~TGK

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the well written review! I'm really glad you liked it, and I was especially glad to hear that you liked my depictions of the Marauders. I guess I should check the lexicon; I had no idea the Blacks had actual names. I'm planning more character development for Peter, I just haven't decided exactly what he'll do yet. Please keep reading!

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Review #3, by Padfoot_Prongs 

21st August 2011:
When I first saw this story, I literally squealed in excitement. Sirius is my all-time favorite character, and I can just never get enough of him.
The way you've portrayed him is perfection, too. I really, really love all the little scenes that just build into the larger picture that is Sirius, from Severus to Regulus to James. It's all so wonderful, :D
Oh my gosh! I just love how you've included them being still new to Animagi. It's so interesting!
This is really, really great. I love all the detail you've put in. It's just fantastically written, and I'm quite excited to read the next chapter, :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your awesome reviews!!! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! I've worked really hard on the story, I know my chapter one is a bit too long. ;) but I promise chapters will be shorter now! I'm currently working on chapter 3 and it should be up soon. Please keep reading!

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Review #4, by lemonpeeps 

19th August 2011:
In response to your request for a review:

First, Molly's maiden name is Prewett, Sirius' mother's name was Walburga Black and his father's name Orion Black.

To help th flow of this chapter (it was very very long) I would chop it into three chapters and provide a little more detail in each part. You covered a whole bunch in this chapter but it was rather sparse. I'd do a chapter break right before or after the meeting with McGonagall and another one right before the trio sneaks out to visit Remus.

Characterization was my favorite portion of this chapter. I can tell James really cares about Sirius. The only character I didn't agree with you on was Cissy. I don't think Sirius got a long with any of his family he was the obvious black sheep. But you don't need to change that, that's just my personal opinion.

About Peter being more developed, I don't think he needs to be unless you're planning to use him epicly later on. He's the heros' sidekick all of his life, I think he's prefect just the way he is. If there was a character I'd like to see more developed that would be Snape or Remus. Snape hates Sirius the most out of the four. And Remus is the reason they started the Maruader's Map and sneaking around.

Your plot is very intersting! I like the little sub plot you have going on between Sirius and Regulas/the rest of the Black Family. I want to see how that plays out!

I hope this is what you were looking for! And I hope that I didn't burst your bubble because this is very well written!!! Props to you!!!

Happy Writitng
lemonpeeps ox

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading!!! Yes, my first chapter is way too long, I should definitely have chopped it up. I'm glad you think I have an interesting plot! I promise there's much more to come!

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Review #5, by Stephanie 

12th August 2011:
I really liked this!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you liked this chapter! Chapter 3 will be up very soon! I'll definitely check out some of your stories as well!

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Review #6, by cia_wia 

1st December 2009:
I loved the character development in this story! I thought it was great to see Narcissa and Sirius getting along (can't wait to see how she falls for Lucius!). And I LOVED how pathetic Peter Pettigrew outmanned James and Sirius with his speech. Also loved Sirius's complex relationship with his family. Can't wait to see what happens with his daddy drama!

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Review #7, by Queenie Shacklebolt 

24th November 2009:
Lady Snape, I absolutely love this story!!! I can't wait for chapter two! The part where they all turn into Animagi was exactly how I always imagined it! I loved the part when Remus is in wolf form, and he feels ashamed that the boys see him like that. The characters are SO well-written! I think this is exactly how JKR envisioned young Sirius: a bit conceited, reckless, adventurous. He's perfect. And I love the Snape and Sirius tutoring session. Snape is spot-on. Brilliant!

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Review #8, by princessmalfoy1232 

24th November 2009:
Awesome story!!! I really enjoyed reading this. I never thought sirius and narcissa would be friends when they were young. And I loved the fight scene between sirius and regulus. Keep up the good work :)

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Review #9, by Macca's Marauder 

24th November 2009:
What a wonderful story. Lady Snape captured the characters' essence perfectly. Her descriptions were spot on. It was hoot reading about Arthur Weasley studying Muggle history and Snape is just as slimy as ever. It's an interesting twist that Sirius and Narcissa are friends. I'm excited to read the next chapter. Well done!

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Review #10, by LunaLuver 

24th November 2009:
WOW!!! I loved it, so wonderful. I love how you started in the Marauders 5ht year and put in that part with Narcissa and Reg. Also loved seeing Arthur in it, will we see more of him, maybe with Molly? Keep up the good work I cant wait to see what happens next. :-)

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