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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by classicblack 

11th December 2011:
Okay, so I do feel sorry for Anna and Mary, but really, they had it coming. If you're going to have a surprise party make sure you always know where the subject of the party is! It's common knowledge, haha
I'm looking forward to the time when Lily finally gives James a chance (although, based on my peaking ahead at further chapters, that doesn't happen for a bit *sighs*)
I really hope Mary and Remus don't end up in awkwardness/ hating each other (or at least on Mary's part)/ Remus feeling awful. I know it's probably inevitable, but I'm sort of hoping that Mary get's over him before them...
Great chapter overall!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: (Sorry, sorry, a thousand times sorry that it is APRIL and I'm still working my way through your fantastic reviews.)

I totally agree with you about Mary and Anna. Their plan wasn't very...well, planned. :P

Yes, it takes a while for Lily to get to that place, but I guess it's kind of expected, given her history with James. And hopefully the payoff when they DO get together is worth the waiting!

Well, I guess since you have made it to the end of the story, you know how the Mary/Remus thing ends...but he's probably well shot of her, right? The positive side is that I don't think either of them will dwell on it too much.

Thanks again!


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Review #2, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
I like how you write Mary - her weaknesses and complaining actually being a problem that gets to Lily, who isn't like that at all and it irks her. Girls do that - we love our best friends, but who hasn't had a moan about one or two irritating habits you wished they didn't have? For once - teenage girls with problems that aren't just about boys!

Author's Response:
Given the circumstances that I set up for Lily and Mary's friendship, I felt like they would get along well enough, but never be truly close friends. And, well, since you've read on much further, I think it becomes blatantly apparent that they're actually very different people, and that Lily's smaller frustrations are symptoms of much larger issues.

The trajectory of Mary, Anna, and Lily's friendship was something that I always really enjoyed writing and plotting out--I never thought about it in the sense of, "This will add a non-romance element to the plot," but now I definitely appreciate that it does. Because you're right--friends have problems with each other just as much as people in romantic relationships do!

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by doglover 

3rd January 2011:
i like that peter is actually a character in this :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear that! I think Peter is an intensely interesting character. I despise him, but he's also integral to the story I want to tell, and I think there's much more to him than just being some simpering, cowardly fool.

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by AlPadfootPotter96 

19th December 2010:
Awesome chapter! I love the humor in this fanfic - need to keep reading! :)

Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm glad I'm making you laugh occasionally, because I definitely think comedy is one of my weak points. It's always nice to hear I wrote something funny!

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Review #5, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
Jesus, Anna. That's so ridiculous. So James one-upped you and got to Lily's birthday first. So Lily wasn't able to be surprised. Buck it up already.

And Mary, c'mon. Stop throwing yourself at Remus when it's not gonna turn out the way you'd like it to.

I am enjoying it, even if my rant at your minor characters seemed the opposite.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Oh, don't worry, I really like it when people rant about Mary and Anna! I consider it a good thing if people get irritated by them...I don't want to have characters that people agree with and like all the time, because it's not like we like other PEOPLE all the time. :)

Anna is a sore loser, that's for sure. She's very reactionary and lashes out, but she doesn't hold onto things for very long. She does get over it, and fairly quickly, actually.

Mary certainly needs to find some self-restraint in that department...in fact, I think she does later on, which of course you already know! :)

Thank you!


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Review #6, by _hedwig_ 

23rd April 2010:
Poor Anna...she's got a tough life. I'm glad you explained Remus's predicament and now I'm not wanting to murder him in his bed (it's a figure of speech!)

Author's Response: I really like Anna so much. She comes off as really unpleasant at different points in the story, but I hope I somehow managed to get across (if not in this chapter, then a later one) that it's all defensive, born of the necessity of staying tough among her family. (Wait--I hope that sentence of yours wasn't sarcasm. If it was, then Anna would be proud of you.)

I'm glad you liked the explanation of the whole Remus situation. I was worried that the conversation might come off as too expository, but I felt I had kept people in the dark long enough.

Thank you!


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Review #7, by Kimco 

23rd April 2010:
That was so funny.^_^ My favorite line is "I've been waiting for 3 years for that kind of problem." Another part that I liked was the rant that Sirius had about cleaning toilets. I can completely relate. I hate cleaning toilets.

Another 1,000/10

Author's Response: Oh, how nice to hear from you again so soon! :) I'm glad you liked this chapter, especially the funny bits.

I imagine that Sirius, while free of most of the prejudice and nastiness of his family, would not be able to completely shed all of his pureblood upbringing, especially not before he was even out of school. And so, the idea of cleaning a toilet, for someone who was usually able to leave that sort of thing to a house-elf, would probably be especially unpleasant and insulting. Even more so if they had to do it without magic...which I'm sure all of us can related to. :)

Very glad you're still enjoying it, and thank you for reviewing again!


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Review #8, by CaribouProngs 

18th April 2010:
You're probably getting sick of me telling you how much I love this story. But: I love this story!
I also think its refreshing the way you show Peter's good traits. It seems like cliche Marauder always leaves Peter nothing but twitchy and nervous--poor guy. I like to think of Peter pre-betrayal, and like him. Just like I like to think of Snape casting nasty hexes at people instead of desperately missing Lily.

Author's Response: I'm not sick of it at all! It's so nice to hear positive things about this story, and just lovely that you've taken the time to write your thoughts on so many of the chapters!

Peter is a very interesting character to me. I think people condemn him much too easily, and forget that there must have been a reason that James, Sirius, and Remus were friends with him, and that Sirius suggested him as Secret Keeper. I like to think he would have been kind of sly, very good at evading notice, and therefore a good addition to the Marauders. I do think that, although he perhaps wasn't the smartest kid in school, he was also clever. And he put himself first, a quality which isn't necessarily good or bad. I agree with you, it's kind of nice to think of him as an okay guy who just made some really bad choices later on.

Thank you again, and I hope you like the rest of the chapters as well! :)


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Review #9, by Jimmette 

13th November 2009:
See, this is why this story is one of the biggest things I missed about not having the internet!

I like this little role reversal dynamic that you have going on in regards to the Head Boy/Girl. Usually it's Lily who is very pro-active and eager to exceed her duties and James just sort of goes along with it.
But I like how James' enthusiasm brings out Lily's. The conversation at the start felt very real, in the way that they converse like good friends but there is still that degree of awkwardness when they touch.

I particularly liked Lily in this chapter. Her vulnerability makes her seem much more human. I mean, no one is immune to petty jealousy, no matter how good natured. So it was refreshing to see her be a little bitter about Mary getting all the attention and being self-pitious about no-one remembering her birthday. I think it is more realistic to show her having these thoughts and then chastising herself than to make think altruistically and fairly all the time, which once again you thought of.

When James remembered her birthday and got her a piece of cake, the girly part of my brain chewed through her restraints and started rooting for them to hook up! But in the end I was glad that you (unlike me) were able to resist the temptation to turn it into a cliche get-together and keep your realistic pace, it's so much more gratifying that way! But I can see James is breaking down some barriers which made me very happy.
It's a shame that she ends up deeming it her worst birthday ever because of her friends, but if I was in that situation, I wouldn't still be floating on cloud 9 when my friends are that disappointed with me either.

The talk with Remus opened my eyes a little. I sort of had a single-angled viewpoint on why Remus keeps rejecting Mary; that he didn't want her to find out that he was a werewolf. It didn't even occur to me that he didn't want to be a charity case to her, but it completely makes sense. In a world where he has such difficulty finding acceptance, plus his self-deprecating manner, he must still harbour insecurities about his friends' motives for being around him.
Once again you demonstrate astounding insight and it really enriches your story :)

Oh, "He hoped Lily was the type of person to take pity on whining," made me chortle, because I can't imagine that she is.

And
"I've seen students performing acts around this castle that would make Merlin's wand backfire!"
"Lily Evans: ruining friendships one birthday at a time"
"Every time we're alone I'm afraid she's going to take it as an opportunity to try and snog me. I've had to develop new ways of standing and sitting to lessen the odds."
That last one especially was pure gold!

And I love your teen witch graffiti "Sirius Black makes my cauldron boil over" and the fact that Peter changed it to his own name made me crack up!

Thanks so much. I have been really sick for the past few weeks and this brightened my day :D

Author's Response: Well, I'm very glad you got the internet back, too, because I definitely missed your reviews!

James is a bit adorable in this chapter, isn't he? Between the Head Boy enthusiasm and his birthday surprise...well, it definitely is hard sometimes to not just throw him and Lily together. But I force myself to resist! You're right though, this is definitely a bit of a breakthrough moment.

I'm so glad you liked the conversation between Remus and James. My thinking is that Remus has this desperate desire to be liked and accepted by people, and while he's thrilled to have his friends, it's a different dynamic when it's someone who likes you plainly for WHO you are, and not what you are. Mary sees him as a different person than his friends, and I think it would give him a bit of an ego boost to feel that someone likes him without any qualifications. That's just my take, but I'm glad you found it insightful.

Yeah, Lily probably wouldn't be to keen on the whining. And I love seeing the quotes that were your favourites! The one about Lily ruining friendships...I just realized now how applicable it it to the entire chapter. That honestly wasn't intentional at all! (The story about the birthday part was actually about two friends of mine who still don't get along because of it.) The Merlin's wand quote from Filch still makes me laugh when I read it, and so does the one about Sirius. And I'm glad you liked Remus' quote about kissing attacks. I thought it was pretty amusing, which was why I chose it as the summary for the chapter. (Or at least I think I did...if not, just ignore me.)

Thank YOU so much! Finding two new reviews when there wasn't even a recent update is the best start to my day. And the even better thing is that a new chapter should hopefully be up within the next couple days!

Feel better, and thanks again!


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Review #10, by Sophie 

13th November 2009:
Just finished reading the fifteen chapters, and hoping there won't be a long interval until the next one!

So, first of all, you mentioned that you wanted us to comment on how this story works in the realm of Marauder era fiction - being basically obsessed with this era, I might have a few things to say about it. Firstly, I think your story is very realistic compared to what's out there, and that's always a breath of fresh air. Your OC's are also distinctly human; especially Anna, whose sarcasm I love and who I think should get more action (Mary is a bit lame, but then again there are a lot of real lame people out there so it doesn't make her less of a realistic character : P).

I think your portrayal of James is also quite good, although sometimes I think you lean towards making him more like Harry than I imagine him to be - awkward and clueless. Anyway, more importantly, you've included portions of a believable Snape and that's the reason I started reading this story!

Having been in love with Snape way back when book 4 came out, I've always been interested in his mysterious persona, so you make me very curious every time he tries to tell Lily things and she won't listen! Pleaaase spare him some more words for my sake. (Maybe he can do something crazy when James and Lily start dating? My personal favourite would be to have Snape take some polyjuice potion and snog Lily as James, haha).

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. To get to the point: I think your Marauder era is put down very accurately and in a way that is really believable. One minor problem- it might be too believable! You should probably try speeding some things up a bit (like that Auror coming- it's Dearborn's nephew isn't it?). Or the wedding (I love weddings). Lily and James don't have to start doing it already, but it would be good if they got out of the friend zone a little.

Haha ok, I think this review is quite long enough. So, hopefully you don't think I've been too harsh, if I didn't like it I wouldn't bother trying to convince you to put Snape's tongue down Lily's throat! And besides that, I think your writing style and vocab is excellent, so I just want you to put it to the best use possible ;)

Your impatient reviewer,
Sophie

Author's Response: Hi Sophie! Thanks so much for reviewing! It's so wonderful to hear from new reviewers. :)

I'm so happy you think the story is realistic, particularly when it comes to Anna and Mary. Original characters can be really tough to work with, and it's nice to hear compliments about mine. And I do hope to include Anna more in future chapters. She's grown on me a lot as I've been writing, which might explain why she gets a little marginalized in past chapters. And you know, I think you're definitely right about Mary being lame. Haha. She may surprise you, though!

Wow, I'm really pleasantly surprised that you like the way I've written Snape, especially given that you like him so much and I have not been the most complimentary of him! He'll definitely be a part of the story from time to time, and you'll have to continue telling me your thoughts on him! I do have to say that I probably won't go for the Polyjuice Potion thing, but it made me laugh. :P

And I get what you mean about it being too realistic. The wedding will happen in the end of May, so it's still a few chapters off. But there will definitely be lots of Anna in that one! And as for the whole friend zone thing, you might only have to wait a couple chapters for the ball to start rolling...but that's all I'll say! :)

Your review wasn't harsh at all. I'm so thrilled you like the story, and I think a new chapter should get validated before the end of the weekend. It's been in the queue for five days, so hopefully today or tomorrow! I hope you'll keep reading and reviewing.

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by Leigh Kelley 

5th November 2009:
Me again!

Let me start off by saying that I adored this chapter. Not only was there Lily/James interaction, but there was James/friends and Peter made a funny! Yay!

Okay, I like that James is still trying to get Lily to be excited about being Head Girl, even if he has an ulterior motive. His idea is a good one, and I'm sure the students will appreciate their hard work. This is one of the things I like about your story. You take things like discussing Head activities, and make it exciting. The conversation flows so naturally, and then add the little things that make me smile. Like when Lily was listing her accomplishments for that year, and adding being friends with James to the mix.

Then the part with Filch made me laugh. I could see where it would get that idea, but doesn't he realise that they are Heads and probably have to work together late sometimes? That man really is paranoid. And what James thought at the end. That really is laughable because it puts the idea of Lily and him into better perspective. That Filch and him are the only ones who thought them snogging to be possible is just about right, given their history.

Now. I like what you did with Lily here. We're getting to see a different side of her; a somewhat vulnerable side. The fact that she thought her friends forgot her birthday since they made no hint at remembering is very realistic, and sad. That she feels jealous of Mary for getting so much attention is such a natural human reaction that I can't help but sympathize with her, even if she realises that she's being wrong for thinking it. I thought they were going to surprise her from the beginning, but her feeling left out of their little group is understandable. With the ceasing of talking when she entered, and then not wanting to share with her. And other little things did contribute to creating that feeling.

James is so sweet. At first I thought that it was an entire group of people to surprise her, but then it was just a slice of cake, and the fact that he said 'because it's for you', then listed why 'red hair and green eyes' is just a real 'aww' moment. I couldn't help but love him for that, because he just ended up making Lily feel so much better. Pity that her high came crashing down when she realised that her friends were waiting for her and it caused a rift between Anna and her. Oh well; I'm still glad James and her had that moment.

The ending with Remus and James having that conversation was something I think needed to happen. That he feels like a charity case, and likes Mary because she doesn't know about his problem, and the fact that he can't be with her because of it... It's sad. But I like that James tries to convince him otherwise. Sometimes I feel that he's trying to push his friends away, even though all they want to do his help make his situation better. He really likes doing that; thinking that there aren't other people who would want to be around him despite his problem. Yeah, I could see how he would be like that as a teen, especially since he was as an adult.

Bah. And thank you for letting Peter have that line. I laugh just thinking about him changing the words, haha.

Another nice chapter. Where's the next one? Just kidding xD. Make sure to re-request when it's up. I really do enjoy this story.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Oh, Leigh, you really are so awesome. This review just brightened my entire day! :D

Yep, James is still trying to force Lily to accept the whole Head Girl thing. It's a bit of a role reversal from usual, isn't it? Haha. She'll realize he's right in good time though, and I'm so happy you liked the conversation. It's so great to know that I can write dialogue well!

The part with Filch still makes me laugh as well, which I'm sure sounds a bit strange since I wrote it. But I just can't handle myself when I read "Merlin's wand" joke. I'm really glad you found it funny too!

And wow...your comments on Lily are so fantastic! The way you've read it is exactly how I wanted it to come off, which is just incredible. It is a much more vulnerable side of her, isn't it? And actually I'm quite pleased that it was somewhat obvious to the reader that Mary and Anna hadn't forgotten; I think it works better that way!

And yes, the cake scene was a little bit of a melt-for-James moment. I don't know what it is, but there's something in me that just can't handle having a totally fluffy moment like that without killing it somehow. But I suppose on the good side...things are in motion...

I was a bit worried that the conversation between James and Remus might be a little expository, but I'm glad you didn't think so. I think you're right, it was necessary to explain why there were issues between Remus and Mary, since so far there's been very little insight into it. And I'm so glad you think that Remus' attitude fits with what we know of him as an adult! That's a wonderful compliment.

Haha, I feel compelled to give Peter some good lines. Sirius and James can't have been the ONLY funny Marauders, right? :)

The next chapter is...under construction! Haha. I'm trying to get it re-written and posted by the end of the weekend...it's technically done but I've been feeling like I'm losing the proper direction, so I have to put on my editing hat. I will definitely re-request when I do get it posted, and I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter (and the story in general)!

Thank you so much!


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Review #12, by Harry and Ginny 

4th November 2009:
absolutely fantastic this chapter. please pretty please update soon!!!^_^

1000/1000

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I'm glad you really liked this one!! I promise I will try to update as soon as I can...I'm coming to a bit of a stall and re-evaluation period regarding the story, so I'll do my best.

Thank you so much for this lovely review! It was great to hear your thoughts on the story again.


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Review #13, by rainbowsocks 

2nd November 2009:
I thought it was so cute about Lily's birthday with James..but then again, i guess it wasnt that fun in the end D:
i was like literally AWW poor remus :( *sighs*
update soon ;)
and just to tell you, i may have quite possibly laughed my head off by the last comment peter gave.
hahaha, loved it; update soon
xoxo ~

Author's Response: It was super cute, wasn't it? :) Sometimes I really can't help myself and slightly corny moments take over...and then the other side of me has to go and kill it like I did with Mary & Anna.

And Remus does tug at the heartstrings in this chapter, doesn't he? Plus it does give a lot more insight into what's actually going on with him and Mary, which was until now a pretty cloudy subject. I'm glad you liked that part!

Haha, oh, Peter. "Peter Pettigrew makes my cauldron boil over" doesn't quite have the same ring, does it? But I did think it was pretty funny, and it's nice that someone agrees!

Wonderful to hear from you again, rainbowsocks, and I'm glad you loved the chapter! I'll update probably within the next week or so! Thanks so much for the review!


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