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69 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Lily and James are just so cute! ♥ It made me smile that at the beginning of this chapter you wrote the way that the two of them were absent a lot and at least their friends didn't mind, because they're in the couple bubble that comes right at the beginning of the relationship. It's great to see that they get a chance at happiness at this point and to know that although their lives were short they were happy together all the same.

I loved the conversation between Sirius and Laura and the way that Sirius is really starting to pay attention to all the details about Laura, like the conversation they had over a year ago after the OWLs, because it just shows that really he does like her and is paying a lot of attention to her. I suspect she's something to do with the reason that he couldn't finish his homework, either! The second part with the broomstick maintenance was interesting to read as well, and it's great to see the way that Laura's being accepted by the boys and she's just come into her own and grown in confidence so much more recently that it's fantastic to read about.

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yeah, they are cute aren't they? The beginning of any relationship tends to be like that, where no one sees them because they're too busy doing other things, hahaha, so I'm glad you think I captured that. :)

And yes, Sirius is paying a lot of attention to the little things like that. Pity Laura doesn't think to wonder why that might be. *evil grin*

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by A Harry Potter Fan Forever 

19th March 2013:
James Potter is a Seeker in the real books

Author's Response: I hate to break it to you but it was only the movies that had James as a Seeker: JKR has most definitely confirmed he was a Chaser. I'm not allowed to do links here but if you Google "James Potter Chaser" you'll find the quote quickly enough. Thanks for the comment though.

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Olga 

2nd January 2013:
Lol Laura is so clueless sometimes. Can't wait to keep reading!

Author's Response: Yep. But Sirius is starting to get it - finally. And that's all I'm saying.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Katie 

17th April 2012:
Can one of them just admit to they other that they like each other already! Geez.
Great chapter btw :)

Author's Response: And face possible rejection and loss of a friendship? Heavens no. There's way too much to risk here. At least, that's how they're seeing it. THough I have to admit that poor Sirius IS trying, he's just not getting anywhere. Poor boy, the things I put him though.

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
Great story. Love it 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thank you!
cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by classicblack 

22nd October 2011:
I liked that you went all creative and invented the broom stuff, and I must say I still wish that Laura could play Quidditch. I also hope that the whole Sirius always following Mary around thing doesn't continue, just because in that situation, Sirius is reminding me of a bloke I used to be friends with. And I must say it's a bit of a turnoff, despite the fact that Sirius is awesome and this guy turned out not to be at all. Anyway, great chapter! Hoping to see Laura and Sirius get together soon!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Sirius following Mary around? Was this a typo or did you misread that part of the chapter? Because it's Laura he's following around, to use your term. It's his way of trying to work her out. Not sure if this is still a turnoff or not. :/

And no, Laura was never going to play Quidditch. That didn't fit the story or her character. I liked making up the broom stuff, though, even if it was a little challengling. Thanks!

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

9th August 2011:
More Quidditch/Broom related goodness! How marvellous! Once again there was magnificent detail in what you've presented in this chapter in terms of these, and as you mentioned in your Author's note you don't exactly have a lot to go on from canon regarding this time and what brooms were popular and about, and I think you've managed to make it seem believable and in its own way entirely possible, that and I love that the good old Cleansweeps got a mention! (They just seem like the sort of broom I probably would have been given, so I always love reading about them)

I'm not going to say anything on the Laura/Sirius relationship because I'm relatively sure I can see where this is heading, but what I did love was your characterisation of Slughorn, unable to remember the name of students he did not bring into his club of collected students. It was very much something we did see him do, and I think it's interesting that Laura, who does display quite a lot of talent at times wasn't "collected" as well. Although then again, it's a nice touch as well, considering how exclusive it was.

Onwards I go!
- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, it was incredibly hard writing that broomstick stuff because we have so little to go on, but I'm glad you think I did a decent job. After all, Laura's supposed to know this stuff inside out so it had to be convincing. So I just had to make it up on the hop and hope for the best. Thank you! :)

As for Slughorn, well we know from HBP that he doesn't pay much attention to people who aren't in his club (ie his treatment of Ron), so that was easy (and fun) to write. And why would Laura have been picked? Cauldwell isn't exactly a high-profile name, she's not well connected and she always faded into the background in her younger years. Bea, while brilliant, was never going to be influential with the sort of character she had, so Slughorn wouldn't think to align himself with a relative of hers. So Laura was always going to be missed over there. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Laura the maintenance witch. Call on her for all of your flying needs.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yes, definitely! She has her uses, our Laura, and James is making the most of them in his attempts to matchmake, hahaha. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by theelderwand 

22nd August 2010:
I was so hoping that Mary would say "Dinae occur ta ye that he's spendin' an awful lo' o' hi' time near ye becaus he fancies ye?" But alas, it is not to be!

Loved the flying stuff - really well done and yet another reason that Laura is such a catch - and the banter back and forth between she and sirius was quite good. If only she didn't tense when he put his arm around her. Arg!

enthralled!

Eldy

Author's Response: Now, why would Mary say that? She'd have to have thought of it to make that connection, and like Laura she just hasn't considered it might be possible. She's a few chapters away from working it out, hahaha.

And I see that you were finding these scenes just as frustrating as everyone else, probably myself included. The thing is that I had a very strict story plan which meant that The Snog had to happen at a certain time, and that time hadn't arrived yet. So I kept throwing them together yet keeping them apart, which was torture for both the characters and the readers I think. But, you know, I'm unrepentant. My story and all, you know? :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Well, I loved the stuff about the broomsticks - it's that attention to detail that makes this story so satisfying to read. For those of us who know the potterverse, there's new and detailed intricacies for us to enjoy, while for those less familiar, you cover the basics, such as what a dementor's kiss does, or that DADA teachers only last a year. As such, this story really hits me as one of the few that could work well as a published piece, as it doesn't require the massive knowledge of us extreme fans, but neither does it alienate said fans by being too strictly comprised of the already known facts.

And again, it's these "filler" chapters, as you put it, that give the nicest developments in the various relationships, so I'm happy to keep reading them... tomorrow, as I'm finally tired enough to pull myself away from the computer for a few hours!

Author's Response: Thanks yet again! The broomstick information was possibly the hardest part of this chapter to write, because we have very little canon and what I came up with had to sound believable. Glad you liked it. :D

I'm also glad that you appreciate that I did put those details in there that non-hard core fans might not otherwise have picked up - I wanted this to be readable by as large a number of people as possible. Of course, because its fanfiction that's not a reasonable thought, but it was in the back of my mind.

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
he likes her, it's sooo obvious!!!

Author's Response: Ah, it's obvious to the reader, but not to Laura. She has to consider it as a possibilty before she can recognise the symptoms, and she hasn't done that yet so there's a bit of a journey yet. But yes, he does. I admit that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by ericajen 

28th July 2010:
Oh, Laura. She could not be any more oblivious, I think. And poor Sirius is probably under the impression that she's the one trying to let him down easy. We teenagers can be so silly (read: stupid) sometimes.

Author's Response: Yeah, she'd be struggling to be any more oblivious, I think. She just hasn't figured out yet that it's possible, and therefore she's missing all the signs. And you're right in that Sirius figures that she's not interested - though, I will say that he thinks he's being subtle. Then again, with James as a role model, he has a slightly skewed idea of what subtle is. Yes, I find that hilarious. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by always_dreaming 

25th March 2010:
FOR PETE'S SAKE! are you trying to make it obvious to the readers? am i totally drawing wrong conclusions? how is it is seems like only james has worked out they like each other?! good grief. watch- i'm completely off base and this whole rant is wrong. if so... ignore me i guess haha

Author's Response: Hi again!

No, you're not drawing the wrong conclusions and yes, I am making it obvious. However, it's something that just hasn't occurred to most people so that's why they're not seeing it. James knows it goes one way but not both, Lily suspects it goes both ways, but that's about it. The thing is that you have to recognise something as a possibility before you can see it's happening, so that's why people like Martha haven't figured it out.

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by Ronsgirl29 

20th January 2010:
Hello, me again! another lovely chapter :D Laura sure is missing the obvious though, I mean Siruis likes her back! He might as well write it on his forhead. From all the little things he does and the comments James makes you think she'd realise it! and same with him, how could he not know laura liked him back? haha well 10/10 as always.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the everpresent oblivous-ness of my main pair. Be prepared for a lot of frustration there! I will do some explaining, though ... Laura doesn't notice because it simply hasn't occurred to her that it's even possible. You need to admit something as a possibility before you can see that it's happening. In this case she's never seen his behaviour around a crush before and she's only really been getting to know him over the past few months, so she doesn't think this is any different to what he's normally like.

As for Sirius, well like everyone he's scared of rejection, which is kinda a new experience for him in this case. You'll see more of this in upcoming chapters but yeah, he's not confident enough to do anything about it.

Glad you're enjoying it though! :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by ochalke5 

11th January 2010:
Laura's so bloody thick! I am dying to see when her and Sirius will get together... i had hoped it would be sooner but i can wait... a little be longer. Another brilliant chapter but that honestly goes without saying!
10/10
Wonderful Work Mel!
natalie

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, "thick" is one word people have used for Laura. "Blind" is another, I think. But that's just how she is. As for when it happens ... well I think you've got to that now so I won't comment, but as I've said before I was very insistent that it happen at a certain time, and that time just hadn't come up yet.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by pinaygrl3123 

26th December 2009:
...HE LIKES YOU, YOU IDIOT. He can't concentrate on homework cause you aren't there! Aghh. I wish people weren't so dense, but I'm sure I'm missing something that somebody who didn't know me would be able to pick out immediately. Agh. And good job about all that broom stuff.. it sounded pretty intelligent, whether any of it was right, we'll never know or care. So it's all good. Haha.

Author's Response: Ah, you're not the only person calling Laura an idiot! I think even I was doing it for a while there, and I invented her. So don't worry, you're not alone.

As for the broomstick stuff, well thank you for that because it took a bit of imagination coming up with that sort of thing. And that's something I'm not all that good at, to be frank. So thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by hamiltl 

9th November 2009:
Yay!!! I'm a little behind in my reading and I'll have to wait until tomorrow to read the next chapter because of work (grrr...) but I loved this chapter!! The Sirius/Laura stuff makes me sooo happy!

Author's Response: Hi again! So pleased that you're still enjoying it. :D I too enjoy the Sirius/Laura moments - after all, those are what this fic is all about - so I'm chuffed that other people appreciate them too. It's so nice to feel loved! *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by nire 

6th November 2009:
Wow, it has taken me such a long time to review! I said to myself that I wouldn’t read your new chapter until I had reviewed this chapter first. There is no way I’m going to miss out on a review when I have come this far! You deserve every single one.
So here I am to review 2 chapters! Hopefully this first one will be good enough. I’m just so keen to get onto the next chapter! Anyway, on to my favourite quotes.

We saw very little of Lily and James over the next few days.
This makes me so happy. I’m so glad they are together.

Charlotte replaced her at my table.
Ohhh damn! Here I was, hoping that it was going to be Sirius.
And just on a side note, I really love how James is just putting up that really powerful shield charm. I’m glad he is just going about his life without retaliating. I’m glad he just wasn’t putting on an act for Lily rather he changed himself, matured, for Lily. It’s totally romantic and I love James.

“Did I hear that right?” he asked almost angrily. “He’s been teaching you for over six years and he can’t even get your name right?”
Oh Sirius. You’re so sweet. Look at you, being all protective of her. Just ask her out already. I would so love it.
And I also like it when you described his grey eyes as ‘flashing’. It gives me the best mental image... especially which his long hair falling all over the place. Totally gorgeous.

me trying my hardest to ignore his proximity, his smell, his hand resting on my back as we made our way to the Gryffindor table.
I like how he is touching her more now. I’m not sure if it is subconscious that is doing it, but I like it. If it is deliberate on his part, I think that is so cute.
In fact, everything about Sirius draws you in. Love it.

Lily blushed a little but James took it in his stride. “Of course it was an excuse. We’re just using up the plans Lily had made at the start of the year to make it look like we’re doing something productive. Good thing she’s so organised, really.”
I think the thing that makes this sentence is the ‘taking it in his stride’. He doesn’t back down from people stirring him. He is just so glad that he is with her. I think that is so lovely. And he compliments her too. Ahhh, love.

“James’ orders,” he said almost a little smugly. “He doesn’t want you wandering around the castle or the grounds alone after dark, which it could well be by the time you’re finished.”
Or rather, Sirius’ orders that he made James take the credit for. I hope it was like that. It must be hard for her. She doesn’t know that Sirius is probably trying to go out of his way to spend time with her, and she is such a quivering wreck that she is trying to stay out of his way.

I thought about that. “You might be right,” I said eventually. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”
Yay! I’m looking forward to next chapter!

Now as much as I want to keep talking about the chapter, I’m desperate to read the next one...but I will definitely make up for it in 38’s review.

Loved it!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for a simply lovely review! :D I shall try to do it justice.

Ah, I couldn't have Sirius going to Laura's table in Potions, could I? That would have been too obvious. (And besides, Leda Madley is at that table so it would have been really awkward.) As for James and the Shield Charm, well that just seemed rather like James as he is right now. Though he doesn't stop hexing Snape, he just does it when Lily's not around.

I'm glad you liked the conversation after Potions about the Slug Club, too. I thought it was a nice way of showing a shift in priorities. :) And if I happened to make him sound gorgeous in the process - well that can only be a good thing, can't it?

Oh, and yes, it was James' idea to have Laura chaperoned to and from the Quidditch pitch. It's a total set-up, of course, which is why James was a little surprised that she actually made it, but yeah, it was his idea. Of course, if it wasn't Laura then he wouldn't have bothered with a chaperone at all ...

But yes, poor Sirius is trying his hardest to get close to her and she keeps running away. It's very typical I'm afraid, but still a bit of a shame. (Says the person who wrote the damn thing ...)

thanks again, Mel



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Review #19, by emmarick 

4th November 2009:
i know you like to follow the canon.but are you really going to split up this sweet (eventually going to be) couple, by have awesome sirrus go to jail.please a little au would be okay right, nway awesome chap!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, sorry, but yes they will get split up. Though I did write a few AU scenes just to appease my own desire for things to work out for them. In any case, if you keep reading to the end you will see how I work it all into this story.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by andie 

4th November 2009:
please move things between sirius and laura!
make something happen
the story is great but i think is time for something more to happen

Author's Response: Hi andie! Thanks for the review!

You're not the first person who's asked me to hurry things along a bit, but unfortunately I have a very strict story plan in which The Snog has to happen at a certain time. So sorry but I'm not changing things around. Having said that, I'm not saying when that certain time is ... so it MIGHT be in the next chapter. Or it might not. My lips are sealed.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by saffy 

4th November 2009:
hi mel,
a while ago you asked if i could think of a place where mary is from, now after much disscussion with the afore mentioned friends who i had the bet with, we all seem to be heading for a north east area (personaly i think aberdeen) but you should probaly get a few more opinions, you see we may be slightly biased considering we all placed bets on tonws in the north east lol :)

Author's Response: Hi Saffy!

Thanks for the tip! I'll get out the atlas and have a look and see what I think. The first time it would come up in the narrative is chapter 40 anyway so we've got a bit of time up our sleeves to work it out. Aberdeen does sound nice, though ...

thanks again, Mel


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Review #22, by mybelle 

4th November 2009:
Love it, like always ;) I was just thinking, how long will this story be ? Like are going to stick with the original story of JK ?
Will this end at the death of James and Lily ? Or something like their gratuation ? Or neighter ?

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

This story will end at graduation, though there's an epilogue after that. I don't think that's too much of a spoiler. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by Undercover Blonde 

3rd November 2009:
hey! I just wanna say that your story is amazing! I love the character development in the actual story! (between you and me that was one thing I hated about the real harry potter books, there was no development) I also love how you link your plot with the things going on around the characters at the time so that your plot doesn't completely ignore the surrounding world. It was also rather interesting reading a story from the perspective of someone who wasn't in the middle of things (I mean popular) Many stories are about that or about how they have a snappy makeover and then become popular. In your story however I was rather pleasantly surprised by the focus of the story and how it progressed. I must confess that I was rather angry at you in the beginning because I am a big Sirius fan and was desperate for more Sirius/Laura moments but I soon found the small bits they were together endearing and really appreciated the way their relationship progressed in stages. You are a very talented writer and I found your story hard to ignore. I eagerly await your next installment!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review! I do love getting reviews from new people ... actually, I love all reviews, but you know what I mean. :D

I know exactly what you mean about having bugger-all Sirius in the first part of this story, and I'm sorry about that. However that was how it worked for my characters at that time. I'm very pleased that you like their development though - as I've said to someone else they were 15 at the start of this story and they're 18 at the end of it, so there's a lot of maturing to do in that time as they become more like adults, and I'm thrilled that you think I've achieved that. I also like that you appreciate Laura's story since like you said she's not hugely popular and doesn't have a makeover - I like to think that she didn't need one, just to become more confident in herself, to be seen more.

I'm planning on loading up the next chapter on Friday so hopefully you will enjoy that one. :)

thanks again, Mel


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Review #24, by niki 

3rd November 2009:
hey again, im following your story while here in france, i think this is what you call...addicted?
anyway, i really liked it; very cute, im actually smiling haha

Author's Response: Hi Niki! Thanks for the review!

Wow, even following this when you're on holidays? I am impressed. Though that is one lovely thing about the internet, it's there pretty much wherever you go. (And France - I'm so jealous. I'd love to go to France. It's not looking like that will happen in the short term, though ...)

I'm planning on loading up the next chapter on Friday so hopefully you will get a chance to read that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by kkevv 

3rd November 2009:
Hi!!
I just finished reading all 37 chapters in one sitting, and I have to admit, you have a lot of talent as an author. I could definately see you grow as a writer during the course of this fic. I found the massive descriptions in the first few chapters overwhemling and I am ashamed to admit I did a fair bit of skipping (but I do that all the time with most books - so don't take it personally!) I also found Mary's accent really irritating to start with, but it has grown on me and now I can't imagine her without it. You certainly have characterised everyone very well, I adore you james, you take of lily and Remus and Sirius ofcourse. I love that you include Peter in here, I hate stories that make out him as not a part of the group - that only makes Sirius and James look dumb for choosing him as SK in the future. I did find Laura a little dull as a character at first, but I quickly warmed up to her, and she is very relatable. Oh, and I MUST commend you on the changing oh Laura's relationships, not just with Sirius, but with the girls as well. It was very well paced - not excruciatingly slow, but not unnaturally fast either. The trasition itself was very natural and realistic. Overall, a very entertaining piece - and update soon, please. =]

Author's Response: Hi kkevv! Thanks for the review! :D

Wow, you read all 37 chapters in one sitting? I am impressed. There's a lot to get through so you have my respect for that. And also my thanks because yes, I agree with you, those early chapters really need a drastic re-work. In fact, I've had a few reviews like yours that comment on that and the more I get the more I realise I really should get off my rear end and do something about it. It's been on my to-do list for yonks but I just haven't had the chance to really get stuck into it yet. So thank you for the reminder!! (And I mean this in the most sincere way so please don't think I'm being facetious or sarcastic.)

You're not the only person who's had trouble with Mary's accent but you have validated my theory that the more you read it the more used to it you get, which is one reason why I haven't toned it down at all. I'm rather fond of it myself, and I've had a lot of British readers tell me how accurate it is, so it's staying. Like you I can't imagine her without it now. (Or, I canna imagine her wi'oot it nou. Sorry - just had to do that!) I'm very pleased that you like my characterisations though - for the canon characters, I put a lot of work into it by researching their mannerisms and figures of speech and the like, and for the others I tried to develop them as real people so it sounds like I've done okay there. Thank you! *beams* I'm also pleased that you find the developing relationships believable - like a lot of people I was frustrated with stories which, while in many cases excellent otherwise, made everything move too fast so that you just sat there and thought, really? Again, I wanted it to be something that people could actually relate to.

Next chapter will probably be up on Friday, so I hope you enjoy it.

thanks again, Mel


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