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17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by classicblack 

10th December 2011:
Wow, I think it's pretty interesting that you had Lily conceal Voldemort from her parents; although, Petunia's got to find out eventually because she knows about Voldemort when Harry comes around, right?
I like that you incoporated the fact that, despite the fact that they're not friends anymore, Lily and Snape do actually still live near each other.
Great chapter! I'm looking forward to Lily and James finally getting together, haha.
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, her parents will find out eventually. :) I think she just worries that they won't understand and then jump to the worst conclusions. Plus, while she's at Hogwarts, it really only affects her in a very minimal way, so she's still in denial a bit.

Haha, I actually think the fact that Lily and Snape live near each other is a very useful little plot device. :P I'm glad you liked that part of this chapter!

Thanks again!


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Review #2, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
Excellently paced - I really liked your take on Lily's parents. And I quite forgot that Snape lived nearby - he's such a fool for getting caught up in that stuff.

The way you write makes me genuinely care for all the characters - I really want to see how you guide them through their lives.

Author's Response: I totally agree about Snape--very foolish of him, because if he hadn't gotten drawn into it, he probably would have had a fighting chance at Lily one day returning his feelings, at least in my opinion.

I'm glad you like her parents! I find them harder to pin down in my mind than James' parents, for whatever reason, but I'm glad they read well to you. I'm so happy that I've managed to make these characters ones that people can get invested in--like I mentioned before, characters are the most interesting part of writing for me, and knowing I've done it well is great. :)

Thank you again!


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Review #3, by doglover 

31st December 2010:
i liked the conversation with severus.

Author's Response: Ooh, I'm so glad to hear you liked that scene! It's an interesting one, I think--invested with a lot of silent meaning. Or, at least, I meant for it to be!

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
An entire chapter without James and Lily interaction. Wow.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yep, it's a bit of a drought! :P But things only improve for our favourite duo from here on out, right?

Thank you!


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Review #5, by me 

4th May 2010:
i absolutly love it! its the only one i read!

Author's Response: Hi again! (Again, that is, if this is the same person from before named "me"...if not, hello for the first time!) Thank you for reviewing.

Aww, I'm so flattered that you love the story so much. There are lots of other great Lily/James stories on here, though, so you should check those out too when you're done with this one! ;)


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Review #6, by _hedwig_ 

23rd April 2010:
The parents were soo cool. I love how the mum was like "i want to Patronus people at the grocery store" ahahaha seems like something my mum would say

Author's Response: That line was completely inspired by my own mother's horrible and unwitting misuse of slang terms--always good for a laugh. :P I'm glad you can relate; I don't think I'm the only one with a parent like that.

Thank you!


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Review #7, by CaribouProngs 

18th April 2010:
This is almost exactly how I imagined both James's parents and Lily's parents. But I really hated the last part of this chapter. Not because it wasn't well-written, but because things like that make me feel so, so bad for Snape, and I'd really like to just hate him.

Author's Response: Really? Almost exactly? Wow, that's great! I don't know why, but whenever I read about James' parents being so kind and warm, it just doesn't seem right to me at all. I know they were supposed to have spoiled James, but to me, that doesn't automatically mean they were always baking him cookies or...well, hopefully you know what I mean. They're quite elderly, and they're purebloods who only have one son, so those things made me see them as more traditional and perhaps a little controlling of James. I don't think they're so traditional that they would support Voldemort, but I also don't think they would be completely free of prejudice. Anyway, it's sort of a departure from some characterizations of James' parents, and I'm really pleased that it rang true for you!

You can go ahead and hate Snape--he was defending Death Eaters in that last part, after all! *whispers* I kind of hate him too! :P I don't think he was a nice person at all, and I'm too much of a believer in James/Lily to give him much sympathy. I don't portray him in a very sympathetic light, so hopefully I won't give you too many instances where you feel bad for him. ;)

Thank you again!


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Review #8, by allie_0608 

12th April 2010:
I can't wait till next Christmas, I just moved to Oregon and it snows every so often but I want to see it full on lol.
Anyhow, great chapter and I'm off to read the next one [:
-Allie

Author's Response: Oh, I completely know what you mean. I used to live in California, which of course has beautiful weather, but we moved back to Canada a few years ago to be near family, and having a white Christmas has its charm. Snow on the ground on Christmas morning is quite lovely! :)

Glad you enjoyed the chapter, and thank you again for reviewing!!


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Review #9, by g 

6th February 2010:
I love how this story isn't completely completely centered on Lily and James - it branches out to Petunia, Voldemort's rising, Snape...

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm really happy to hear you're liking that aspect. There really is SO much else going on around James and Lily's relationship that I find very compelling to write about, and I always hope that people out there will be interested in reading about it as well. Of course, I do like writing about just their romance, too. :)

I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope you continue to do so! Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #10, by RainbowVeins 

17th January 2010:
i thought it was a bit weird that Sirius still lives at home cuz in the books he lived with the potters.. but otherwise i liked this chpt :)

Author's Response: Ah, I think I might have been a bit unclear on Sirius' living situation. As he told Harry, he inherited some money from his Uncle Alphard when he was seventeen and used it to buy his own place. So I didn't mean to make it sound like Sirius was living in Grimmauld Place--that certainly wouldn't fit with what was in the books, like you said! Thanks for keeping me on my toes, though. I appreciate when people point out things like that, because it's not like I don't make mistakes! :)

Anyway, glad to hear you liked the chapter, and thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #11, by RocketBabyDoll9 

15th January 2010:
Indeed, there wasn't an abundance of Lily/James interaction, but I think that is vital to the progression of the story. You can't have them around each other all the time, so giving them their own Christmas breaks helps the story flow a bit.

. . . that made very little sense.

Anyway, I'm glad James confessed to Sirius about the whole Ursula thing. I also like that you explored Sirius' views on blood status. Not much is known on that, though we usually assume he wasn't prejudiced. Though, with a household like his, there's bound to be some prejudice in him, even if he doesn't want there to be.

As for the parents. . . I thought you characterized them very nicely! I'm glad you made sure we knew that the Potters were old. And Lily's mum with the whole 'Patronus' thing. That cracked me up.

And Severus again, huh? I have a slight feeling that that's not the last time Lily talks to him.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: You make complete sense. :) I think you're right, it offers a nice break to have them apart. It changes up the nature of the story a bit so it's not the same thing again and again, and I think these Christmas chapters are some of the ones I'm happiest with.

I can't imagine that Sirius would have completely escaped all of the values of his upbringing. I don't want to suggest that he had any hate towards Muggle-borns, of course, because I don't think that at all. I do think that the fact that JKR uses the word "haughty" to describe Sirius as a teenager is telling, though. It would be in the little things--here, for example, you see that he talks about making his parents mad by marrying a Squib, which obviously indicates that he (like other fine characters like Ron, so I don't mean to cast him as a terrible person) looks down on them as a group. And I do think there was some other mention in a chapter about his picky attitude about girls, which I also imagine would come from being part of a very elite family. So it's in the little things--although I do like Sirius and don't think he was anything like his family.

I'm really happy to hear you liked the characterizations of their parents, too. I know JKR has said James' parents spoiled him, but I really just can't see them being ever-so-sweet and warm. I'm not sure why, it just doesn't ring true for me--I think maybe it's because, as you said, we know they're elderly...and if you're born early in the 20th century, you're going to grow up with some different values than someone of James' generation. Plus, they are pureblooded, so when you mix that with their age, I feel like they would have been a little more traditional.

Haha, I'm glad the "Patronus" line made you laugh. My mum is often using slang terms in the wrong context, and we all have a good laugh at her.

The part with Lily & Snape in this chapter makes me grin evilly. It's interesting to me that she chose to seek him, of all people, out for answers. ;) And I didn't really characterize Snape very nicely here, but I really do feel that it's the scene where I've been able to express how I see him most clearly. Goes back to the whole "not seeing him as a victim" thing that I previously mentioned. But your feeling is right--Lily will definitely speak to him again, though I imagine those encounters will be very few in number.

Glad you enjoyed the chapter! I have to say that I'm a bit nervous to see what you thought of the next one, whenever you get a chance to review again--it's always been a bit of an iffy one in my mind.

Thanks again! Hope you're enjoying your long weekend. :)



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Review #12, by pattybuns_hpf 

16th December 2009:
It's summer when it's christmas in where I live, sometimes I wish it's winter and it's christmas. x]

Anyway, I quite like this chappie, gives me an idea of what James' and Lily's family were like. It's good to have something like that in a story. *thumbs up*

-Patty

Author's Response: Feel free to take some of my winter for yourself--I live in Canada so it's freezing and snowy here almost every winter! :P I've been kind of wishing that I was writing the Christmas part in my story right now though, just because I'm more in the spirit.

I'm glad you enjoyed the glimpses of their families. I found it interesting to try and portray them, and I hope it adds a bit more depth to the story!

Thanks for the review (again)!


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Review #13, by Groundswell 

18th November 2009:
Wow, thanks for that incredibly fast responce to my other review. Now I just can't wait to figure out what's with Professor Dearborn.

Anyways... This review won't be as long as the previous one, (which is the longest I've ever written), but you really deserve yet another time to get to know what a great story you're writing here. I might be a bit more random here with scenes and such, but I've already pointed out the general in the first review.

The first chapter after Lily and James' fight was horrible. Well, not in a bad way, but I was so sad that they weren't talking anymore :(

Which leads me to how you tacle this 'not talking to each other' state. Great. It's really the only word for it. These situations are so hard to write, especially because you want in some way to get the persons to interact, but in a very different way than usual. You can't have them be together too much, and not too little either, then it becomes boring. You've really succeeded here, with flying colours and everything! :D

And while we're at it. Thanks for making them not talking now instead of when they hadn't gotten together. Another cliche you're avoiding. Well done.

One thing I like especially. James is actually acting like a boy. He doesn't do those deep, meaningfull confersations about his feelings and stuff. You know that typical boy-type every girl dream of, but just does not exist other places than in fanfiction and in some books. Thanks for avoiding that.

Remus is absolutely horrible in chapter 8. He clearly let Mary believe there was something, but... okay, I settled this matter in the first review. But still. And when chapter 9 comes I feel sorry for him.

The run-in with Mulciber was great. I like how you've taken a little part from DH and actually amde a little sub-plot out of it. And actually succeeding. You pull it off in a way not many can do without making it sound forced in. With you it comes naturally.

The Quidditfch match was good. No drama and no one getting hurt. There is in most stories. Also, well written. And another thing here. You made it against Slytherin, which I love. Just as it is in the books, but only few remember it and make the final match against them instead. Which isn't correct.

You're bringing me in doubt. First, in chapter 10 you say that Professor Dearborn is becoming the most popular teacher in Hogwarts. One would think that it wouldn't be a problem for people to stay awake in his classes. Even though the class is not good, a good teacher (or a person with a likeable personality) can keep attention with him and the class no matter what kind of boring subject they're covering.

Lily's feeling about James' date to Ursula is just great. She doesn't really know how she feels about him, but that for sure is jealousy. But when they become friends again, or around the hugging scene... Lily doesn't seem to trust James. She believes that the only reason he wants to hug her is to feel her up, and that's trust issues. And I really thought Lily would have moved on by now.

And Ursula. Well, I never liked her in the first place. But I understand she became uncomfortable and would create some distance between her and Lily. It's understandable. I actually think this is a scene that clearly shows James is truly Harry's father. Something about the way he handled the whole Ursula situation reminded me of all the girl trouble harry has. Well done.

I liked the last part of Dearborn's class. It reminds me of the way Dumbledore worked in the end of HBP. I think it's very advanced, but also right for NEWT levels. Interesting to see something new.

So they're friends again. Though I wish they'd have talked a little about the argument, said sorry or something. It's still there in a way.

And oh, James and Lily didn't get to say goodbye before they went home.

A detail I've noticed. Finally, some attention to Sirus' troubled family and what it's done to him, without it being too much. I like the way you said he either get in a bad mood or say something tactless. It's just so... fitting to him, I think. I like you Sirius, have I said that? He's not too much of something (funny, pretend stupid, or crazy with girls), but really just a troublemaker like the others and quite perfect.

I like that you've written this nice chapter, parting them from each other. No interaction between them, but instead you tell us how they deal without each other. Lovely.

I think James' dad is going to die. Am I right? If so, I think you're the right writer to pull this through, non-cliche.

Oh, and thanks for not overdoing Lily and Petunia's problems.

I have to let you know I loved this little scene between Lily and Severus. I could picture it all in my head and it was just as clear as crystal. Beautifully written. It was just... well, right, and the awkwardness and slightly 'coldness' between them was just great.

I can't wait to see how you're solving this Remus-Mary thing. And I can't wait to see mroe Lily/James time now that they're friends again.

Have I told you I think you're a fantastic writer?

Very good chapters. I've loved every single one of them, especially the one where they became friend again. I'll get straight on with reading!

Author's Response: Another awesome and detailed review! You'll have to be careful or I'll start getting much too used to this. ;)

It is sad when they're not talking, isn't it? But even though it's sad, I'm really happy you thought that particular period was written well. The thing is, it's not that they're actually that mad at each other. If James had gone after Lily, she would have forgiven him and all would have been well. And then you get this situation where Lily won't talk to James until he apologizes, and James thinks that Lily wants nothing to do with him. So it's all just a big misunderstanding. You're right that their reconciliation is lacking detailed discussion, but I think they come to an understanding nonetheless. And it's also because of some of the things you said: James is not about to sit there and spill out every emotion he's ever had. On Lily's trust issues, I think you're right that she's not exactly certain about James, as she's still not entirely sure whether James is the nice, mature guy or the slightly conceited, immature one--but the truth is, he's both, and she'll come to an understanding of that in good time. (That's so funny that you thought James was like Harry in this chapter. I think James, despite his arrogance, was maybe not the smoothest with girls, which goes against the popular portrayal of him as a "player". I think the scene in OotP makes it clear that he was a bit of a spaz about it.)

On Dearborn: I'm glad his storyline is intriguing you. And I probably should have explained myself more clearly with his classes being boring vs. him being a popular teacher. What I meant was that he's popular because he's a bit roguish and rebellious, but he's still not a very good teacher. And the boring part of his classes is the personal anecdotes that he goes off on all the time. As you saw, when he actually talks about cursed objects, he gets their full attention. Hopefully that makes a little bit more sense!

I'm also really glad you're liking the storyline between Remus and Mary. He really isn't being very nice to her, but I think you'll come to understand why in later chapters. It's a hard situation (at least for me) because I can sympathize with both of them, and hopefully you're feeling the same way.

I'll try and wrap everything else up quickly: it's so nice to see all the things you picked out of this chapter. I'm glad you thought the scenes between Lily & Severus and Lily & Petunia were written well. And also super, super pleased that you like Sirius' characterization. I think he's a hugely complex character and really tough to write well, and hearing that compliment is amazing. As for James' dad...well, his parents and Lily's parents are gone by the time Harry's born. :P (And on the Quidditch match--I'm so glad someone noticed that I'm following the right order!)

You are an amazing reviewer, and I appreciate hearing from you so much. It really brightens my day to see a new review, so thank you so much!!


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Review #14, by Leigh Kelley 

30th October 2009:
James wanting his friends to think he had a fabulous night with Ursula despite it being a complete failure is such a guy thing to do. Being a girl, you did a good job on portraying just how a conversation like that would have gone down.

I wonder what's really wrong with his parents. There's a whole list of things it could be, but I come to one conclusion. He's dying :/.

As to Sirius and James. I am glad he came clean. He's much closer to Sirius, so I could see why such a lie would eat away at him, even if he was trying to justify it earlier by letting them whatever they wanted to. I think they're acting as close as guys would. They aren't on the same wavelength as girls when it comes to sharing and love with one another. Sirius isn't being very supportive because in my opinion, he's tired of seeing James hung up on some girl who won't give him the time of day. Maybe at one point he was all for helping his friend, but as the years go by, he probably wonders if it's even worth it. He wants James to be happy, and his obsession with Lily always ends with disappointment on his end. So I disagree with Sirius being portrayed wrongly. He's teenage Sirius; yes they were more than friends, but what sort of emotions is someone who came from a household like his to exhibit? We all know he loves James, and to me, he's showing it. Well, I rambled, and you probably didn't understand anything I just said, lol.

His mother seems a bit old-school, what with the 'well-respected and long-established' drivel. Seems like a proud pureblood, and that people like them shouldn't be investigated just because of status. Eh, I can't stand people like that, but I guess I could understand where she's coming from.

Now to Lily. Do you know how many times I have read fics where she's at home and all Petunia does is scream 'freak' at her every chance she got? Petunia may disapprove of the magical world, considering she has a hidden jealousy of not getting to experience what Lily is, but I'm sure she wasn't always so horrible to her sister. This is why I loved how Lily's section ended. Petunia seemed worried when Lily mentioned that she wouldn't be alive if it was dangerous outside. I like that.

Lily's parents are amazing too. I laughed at the mention of Lily's mother 'patronusing' people at the grocer's. Nice bit of humor, there.

The scene with Snape is sad. Gosh, I wish things had gone differently and they could have remained friends. I hate it when friendships end because people have different views. Ah well.

On to the next chapter.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Haha, yeah, I thought the conversation with his friends was a bit macho-guy-like. But then of course, he feels bad about lying so he has to tell Sirius.

And I really appreciate your thoughtful analysis of the way I've written Sirius in this chapter. Everyone has a different opinion, but I'm glad you see what my line of thinking was. Sirius and James are like brothers, which means that they don't always get along perfectly all the time. But the reason that they might not always get along is because they care about each other so much, and like you said, they want each other to be happy. Just like Lily is concerned about Mary because of Remus, I think Sirius doesn't like seeing James down about Lily. I completely understood everything you said about it!

I'm really glad you liked Lily's holidays as well. I thought that part with her mum's slang terms was funny, especially as my mum does that all that time. And the part with Snape was sad to write, just thinking about how things might have gone differently if they'd remained friends. Lily's life seems to be filled with rifts and estrangements, when you think about Snape and Petunia. I really do think that Petunia still cared about her sister though, like you've mentioned, and I'm glad you loved the interaction between them.

Thank you again for the wonderful review...you're almost done them all! :)


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Review #15, by rainbowsocks 

22nd October 2009:
pish posh tarter sauce.
i love the winter and wish that it was winter already 0.o
it doesnt even get properly cold where i live. NOT COOL.
haha i love your story so far, but i wish you would have changed a couple of things.
first, made remus have more of a relationship with the girls, as in friends. he should be the maraunder that actually can talk to others peacefully.
another thing, i wish that you made sirius have a..bit more sirius like personality. im not going to go rambling about how sirius should be this and that, but dont forget that sirius and james were practically brothers.
Its your story, up to you to decide how you make it. but i think you should have more of that in the story.
just an opinion
kay well i really like it so far c:
xoxo ~

Author's Response: See, me, I have a thing with winter: I love Christmas, and I don't mind snow for a week or so, but I'm not a fan of the cold. It definitely gets VERY properly cold here, for extended periods of time. But I guess that's why they say, "The grass is always greener on the other side."

As for your comments on the story, thanks for being honest. I think everyone has slightly their own take on the characters, and no one knows (and may never know!) which one is right--of course we see characters like Sirius and Remus as adults, but it's hard to discern exactly how much of their personalities were changed in the years between Lily and James' death and their appearances in the Harry Potter books.

But I will admit that I'm guilty of not featuring the Marauders as much as I could. The truth is (for me, at least) that there's a lot of pressure to write them brilliantly--the dynamic we see between them in Order of the Phoenix is quick and funny and clever, and while I can do that occasionally, it's not my strong suit. I'm not sure if I think that they SHOULD always be written like that--everyone must have moments of dullness, right?--but I feel like there's this expectation to write them in that way that I have a hard time measuring up to. Perhaps I'll challenge myself to do it in future chapters!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #16, by Harry and Ginny 

17th October 2009:
impressive chapter u have here. i like how James is worried about his dad's health and what he overheard. things are getting interesting and i liked how Lily had to ask Snape about the attack on the mall. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Impressive? That makes me feel good. And interesting is a word that makes me happy too, because sometimes I feel like I'm boring people to death.

I liked writing about Lily and James' parents and putting my own spin on it. I think that it was a bit different than people usually write them, at least when it comes to James' parents. And Lily going to Snape was also interesting to write, because I felt like it was the first opportunity I had to communicate my characterization of Snape. So this was just a fun chapter, all in all, and I'm glad you liked it too!

I will update as soon as I can wrap my head around it--you see, the next chapter has had me dithering since I first wrote it. I really feel like it's bizarre, and I don't know whether to just post it and see what the reaction is or re-write it completely. I'll probably go with the former, but I'm going to have to give myself a little push. :)

And really, thank you so much for taking time to review my story. I have always, and still do, appreciate it more than I can say!


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Review #17, by Jimmette 

16th October 2009:
Surprisingly enough, I found the Lily/James-free chapter to be no less enjoyable!
I thought their parallel thought processes about the hug was a good way of showing that they are on each others' minds, but they aren't obsessing over it.
And I'm glad that thoughts on their rekindled friendship hasn't consumed their every waking moments and that you do take the time to show that there are other important things happening in their lives.

I love Lily's parents!
The misuse of slang forcibly reminded me of my own mum!
I laughed out loud at Lily's mum wanting to "Patronus rude people at the grocers" because that is SO something my mum would say!
It's these little details that makes me love your writing!

I thought it was interesting that you chose to make Lily seek out Snape for answers, but I liked how you wrote the encounter.
I think another writer may have been tempted to make Snape show some vulnerability, break down a little, especially with the "He is a better friend than you ever were" line, but it wouldn't really ring true, with him being an Occlumency master and all.
So that and the way that you showed the final severing (no pun intended) of their friendship, without it being a dramatic ordeal, made me very happy :)

Oh, and I was also impressed that you made Petunia chastise Lily for walking around late at night rather than wish death upon her and call her a freak.
Too many fics demonize Petunia, but I personally think she still cares at least a little about Lily, even if she ignores her or is rude to her.
I mean, she'll always be her sister and Lily's letter in Deathly Hallows proves that they were on good enough terms to be exchanging christmas presents, even after they moved out.
So they must still care about each other...right?

Wow, I have really dragged out this review huh?
Haha, well anyway, great chapter :)

Author's Response: Oh, Jimmette, I love your reviews so much! Now, where to begin?

So, yes, they aren't obsessed with each other. And besides, I think a break from them together was needed. The next chapter is like that too, so I hope you can handle one more!

And that's so funny that Lily's mum reminded you of your mum, because I got the inspiration for her from MY mum! She says things sometimes...they no longer mean what they did in the seventies, and I try to get her not to say them, but I think she thinks it's funny.

Okay, and here's the beginning of a long paragraph on Snape. First, it was interesting that Lily chose to seek out Snape, because she obviously didn't have to. Also, I know people love Snape and would probably be a bit irritated by the characterization I did there, but I don't think he would have made any apologies. I know JKR has said in an interview that one of the reasons Snape wanted to be a Death Eater was because he thought it would make him powerful and impress Lily. Or, if you want to be sentimental about it, it may have also been out of a desire to protect her, since she was Muggle-born. Either way, knowing what we know about Lily, it's obvious that it was a really bad idea; probably the worst way he could have gone about trying to impress her. But it was what he did, and that's where he was coming from in that conversation.

Well, of course Petunia still cares about Lily, even if she doesn't like to show it on the surface. And when you think about it, which siblings actually get along completely harmoniously? I think maybe, like you said, we're demonizing Petunia a little bit too much...and maybe misinterpreting her rejection of all things magical after Lily died.

Well, speaking of dragging things out...haha. Thanks for giving me an outlet to talk about the million things I have in my mind for this story, and thanks especially for reviewing! I'm so happy you liked the chapter. :D


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