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58 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Haha, I liked the way that you wrote the return to school after the excitement of the Dementor attack and the fact that they've gone back to somewhere which - although magical - is just like any other secondary school and full of people who tell each other stories and let rumours get out of hand until they're completely ridiculous. It's quite interesting to see the contrast in the normality of that and the way that teenagers always act, and then the gravity of the war on the other hand.

Ooh, so much tension at the Quidditch match! I loved the fact you wrote Laura as being so conscious of her proximity to Sirius because it felt right considering she's only recently discovered her crush on him. And Gryffindor won the match as well, so that just makes it all even better! Oh no, I felt so sorry for Laura again at the end of this chapter because if Sirius was avoiding Laura, it can't have been for the reason that she thinks, that he wants to stop her feelings! I hope she doesn't think like that for too much longer!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yep, totally out of control rumour mill at Hogwarts. IT was like that in Harry's day and I think it would have been exactly the same 20 years earlier, don't you?

as for the post-Quidditch party, well yeah, he certainly wasn't avoiding her because he'd figured it out and wanted to put her off. However, as he's behaved like that with just about everyone else who's gone for him, I can understand why she'd think that. Elvira is in this case an excellent plot piece. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #2, by Amanda 

27th February 2013:
I know you wanted more dialogue, but honestly the lack of it adds to the awkwardness and tension growing inside of Laura and Sirius. It wasn't intentional on your part, but I believe it works amazingly.
You have a great story, I love it so far.

Author's Response: Why thank you! I've had feedback like this on this chapter before, so maybe I'm being a little misguided in my desire for more dialogue. I'm really pleased that the unspoken stuff came through as well as it seems to have, too, because it means I did something right. Thanks!

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by nonesenseheart 

24th February 2013:
hey!
i love your story! it's just amazing and wonderfully written. and thank god it's so long, so i can keep reading it for a while. i think your writing style is super professional! and i love the way you stick to the details from the book!

xoxo

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I put a lot of work into this story so it's really gratifying that people like you are enjoying it so much - means I'm not wasting my time with this writing malarkey. :) I hope you keep reading and enjoy it all the way through.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #4, by Olga 

1st January 2013:
If I were Laura, I would definitely think Sirius was trying to let me down easy. They're so cute! Great chapter:-)

Author's Response: Ah, so many missed signals and mixed messages. I enjoyed writing this phase immensely. But yes, it's absolutely in character (and normal) for her to be making those sorts of assumptions, isn't it?

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
Yay they won!! 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Of course. Doesn't Gryffindor always win? ;p
cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by singer123 

13th December 2011:
So Laura likes Sirius and he likes her back..
I'm assuming that's the reason why he's avoiding her..

Author's Response: Well, yes and no. It's the reason he's avoiding her, but there's a bit more to it than that. But that's all I'll say there. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by Georgia 

8th November 2011:
I noticed in your other chapters as well that you don't have james as the seeker. He is said to be from the first book and on the seeker of the griffindor team. that is where harry got his ability from I just wanted to point it out

Author's Response: Hi! I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but it was only in the movies that James Potter I was a Seeker. According to JKR, he was a Chaser - if you google James Potter Chaser you'll find the quote easily enough. Hence, in this story (which was as close to canon as I could get it) he is a Chaser.

Glad you're enjoying the rest of the story though! Thank you for reading :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by classicblack 

21st October 2011:
Nice filler chapter, but I'm glad Gryffindor won the Cups :) I'm thinking either Sirius figured out that Laura likes him or he likes her and for some reason doesn't want to show it. Can't wait to find out what happens next!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, this is very much a filler chapter, but then again as you've noted before I can't have every chapter full of drama. There's enough to come, let me assure you. :) As for Sirius, well he's just trying to stay on his best behaviour. And that's all I'm going to say about that, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

7th August 2011:
Oh the potential romantic developments that could have occurred here, but I wait semi-quietly and entirely patiently, because knowing your writing this far, it's going to be amazing when it happens! Not to mention well worth all the build up that is occurring, honestly I think at this stage even if they don't kiss I won't care, the tension and the drama are enough to sustain my curiosity well and truly for now!

Although I have to say, Sirius seems to be in a really foul mood, despite the Quidditch House Cup incident, and I was so glad that they actually won the House Cup AND the Quidditch Cup! *GRYFFINDOR PRIDE ALERT!* I think there's something very true about that awkward hug, I know when it's awkward I always try to do something to correct it and I end up holding on longer, which in turn makes it more awkward, so I could completely understand her feelings towards this!

Yet another brilliant chapter, I especially like the part where Gryffindor win everything - because that's how things should always be! *liratey smile*

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Don't get too excited about potential developments, because I'm horrifically mean to my main pair in that regard. In other words, yes I enjoy torturing them (and readers in the process, I'm told). *evil grin* There are a lot of near things that don't get any further, but then again they both have insecurity issues to deal with in their own ways here so those will of course get in the way.

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by alicia and anne 

6th August 2011:
I love how the school has taken the whole attack out of context!
It's nice to see James maturing and not retaliating to Snape, who is being quite childish in my opinion *sigh* boys :-p Oh wait he did retaliate! hehe
I absolutely love the awkwardness and tension between Laura and Sirius. It's so great that you're taking your time with their romance instead of rushing straight into it. Although he is now avoiding her, maybe he's aware of his feelings for her?
Great chapter!

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Yes, schools tend to be like that, don't they? And poor James, getting really uncomfortable about it all. I quite liked that part of him - he was only happy to be the centre of attention when it was on his terms, I guess, and could control how far it went.

As for the sexual tension, well that's what so many stories are written on, isn't it? Very pleased it's working because again, if it didn't, the whole story would be a waste of time.

cheers, Mel

PS Yes, very aware. Poor boy. *evil grin*


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Review #11, by mooks 

28th July 2011:
I heard that Potter fought off a mob of Dementors AND some vampires,

now, why doesn't that sound familiar ;) Harry certainly did have a lot to live up to!
I love this story, and I can't put it down (quite literally, I'm carrying the laptop around) and I'm seriously addicted! evidence:
Social withdrawal, getting up only for toilet breaks and having a stash of food next to me.
I will not put this down until I'm done with all 62 chapters! :) good work mel!

Author's Response: Yes, I tried to show James as really being Harry's father in this situation - as someone else said, the apple never falls far from the tree. As for carrying the laptop around, well I'm hugely flattered. I don't condone becoming a social recluse but if you're enjoying my story that much I can't help but appreciate that. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Will the girls still laugh when they learn of Sirius' predicament?

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: In a word, yes. Well, Martha will, and Lily too probably. But then again I'm cruel to the poor boy and I quite enjoy seeing him squirm. Hey, he's a fictional character, what can he do to me? *evil grin*

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by Loopylu22 

24th May 2011:
I seriously (or siriusly!) think I am becoming obsessed with this story!
I really should be doing more homework or revision, but I can't stop reading it - I love it and can't wait until more people get together! There's just 33 chapters left, so I'll go back to revision in a couple of days! :) Lucy x

Author's Response: HI! Thanks for the review!

And thank you so much for saying such nice things about my story! I have been told it's a little addictive but I really hope that you get enough revision done to not fail your exams (or whatever it is you're revising for), because I'd hate to be responsible for that. Having said that, though, I'm so pleased you're enjoying my story so much because it means I must have done something right. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by LittleMissPrincess 

20th May 2011:
Nice(: i recognized the 'one person telling anyone who would listen' part thing from the third hp book :D something 'bout sirius being able to turn himself into something... i think.. O.o
and when im saying this ^^^ im not accusing you for plagerism, im just applauding my own memory! :D
i love your story and i made it one of my favorites(:

Author's Response: HI! Thanks for the review!

Yes, I tried to keep as true to the books as I could when writing this story. The idea was that it would be able to fit into the little canon that we do have without too much difficulty, so I used as much of our existing knowledge of that era as I could. Glad you picked it up!

thanks, Mel


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Review #15, by theelderwand 

21st August 2010:
The flow was fine. No worries there.

It was great to see shades of Harry in James, as he struggles with the whole "hero" thing. The apple never really falls far from the tree. Good flourish. (Oh, and I forgot, in the books, James' is a Chaser not a Seeker - took me a few chapters to remember that). His maturation here is excellent - I really do think your gradual character development is stellar.

Sirius and Laura. Good gods, this is just killing me. Their whole exchange during the match seemed so promising. And then everything goes pear shaped at the party. Why? Is he nervous he'll mess it up? Does he realize he likes her but feels like he'd be settling if he got with Laura? Or, is it that he doesn't want to see the fanclub abuse her? I think that's it.

Gotta see what happens next!

Eldy

P.S. Now, I just hope the Marauders don't manage to find a way to lose the house cup!

Author's Response: First things first - no worries about the House Cup. Gryffindor, as always, have a firm grip on it. :D

Right. As I've said before, I think there is a fair bit of James in Harry, and even James would struggle with coping with the attention the events of the last chapter would have brought. The reluctant hero, if you like. But yes, he's growing up, and Lily has noticed. Good news for James there!

As for the quidditch match,well you'll have to read my most recent chapter in PBT to get Sirius' motivations there. (Like the plug? Hahaha.) Suffice to say here that he was wary of being a rebound and was behaving the only way he knew how in that circumstance. In any case it was intended to have been explained in the previous chapter ("Look, you're not over him yet ...") but clearly I'm too subtle as no one seemed to pick that up. Oh well.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Bad flow? Not to me - this was as awesome as the chapters preceding. I'm just loving the way Laura and Sirius are acting towards each other, and the way they are such an odd couple that no-one, including them, has guessed what's actually going on. Poor Laura though, he really needs to learn not to simply avoid girls - I guess this might be a bit new for him too though, as Laura won't be acting like she likes him, so his normal routine of letting them fall at his feet won't work. Oh well, can only hope time and some awesome plot-writing eventually helps these crazy kids work it out. If only there was some button I could click in order to keep reading and find out...

Author's Response: Oh, aren't you nice? I'm still not convinced by this chapter, though reviews like this do help my acceptance of it. And yes, poor Sirius really doesn't know what to do with himself. That's actually going to be the next one-shot I load up, once I fix it up a bit and include some more dialogue to make ti read a bit better, so you'll find out then, if you read that, what he was thinking that night.

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
charlotte is perceptive =]

Author's Response: Yes, Charlotte is perceptive in a lot of ways, but she's also quite clueless in others. Like most people are, unfortunately - there is rarely any one person who's got everything worked out. But yes, in this case Charlotte was right. Laura just needed to recognise it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by Schnatz 

15th June 2010:
Hey,

the last two chapters were so great. Some of your best, really! You know I enjoyed every single chapters written by you but you have to know that I have a huge soft spot for James and because of that this chapters were more important for me. I like your idea why James has became Head Boy and I really loved the way you've written it. Just great! :)

And I'm very very happy now that Lily seems to like him a lot more and thinks he has grown up and this ... oi, perhaps there is some Lily/James scene coming soon? *g* Oh, I just love this pairing ... and again I want to accent once again that your characterization about this two (and also the other charas, of course) are so authentic and realistic and ... they're just THE James and THE Lily for me, you know?

And then, it's not only the attention you've showed to James which made me love this chapters it's also quidditch. Of course! What else?! As I've written in another review before I love this sport. Love writing about it, reading about it, seeing something about it in the HP films, etc. You did a great job with that again! I like your quidditch!

I also want to let you know that I like your narrative scenes as well as the dialouges. Sometimes there's no big talk need! ;-)

For Merlin's sake, it's weird and I'm sorry for that I only write the same, positive things with the same, positive words in every single review but the problem is I can't help falling for your story. I absolutely adore it and enjoy reading it! And I haven't found a little negative things on it which I could critizice.

I'm looking forward to read the next chapter. It's the 30th! Yay! :D

Love, Schnatz

Author's Response: Hi Schnatz! And I'm SO sorry I took so long to respond to this - I like to write detailed responses as you know and I've been a bit short of time lately.

Anyway. I'm glad you liked the idea of how James got the Head Boy job, because that's something that was never explained in the canon and like I said in the author note, I thought it had to be covered considering he wasn't a prefect. And yes, he has grown up a bit and Lily has noticed this so that just sets the scene for what we all know happens in seventh year. :)

As for the Quidditch, I'm glad you liked that scene because I had some criticism of it - something about it not being detailed enough, from memory. Of course it's hard to do when your protagonist isn't actively involved in the game, and I agree with JKR that Quidditch can be a pain to write, but yeah, I'm really pleased that you thought I did okay with that one. Thanks!

And yes, 30 chapters. Almost half way!! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by always_dreaming 

25th March 2010:
aww poor laura. i don't really understand sirius and regulus' relationship either. when laura overheard them in the corridor that one time they seemed really close. was i misinterpreting?

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the Sirius/Regulus relationship I think would have been confusing for everyone, the boys themselves included. I go into more detail on it later in the story but I think it was a combination of fondness/rivalry that went to extremes at times. So no, you weren't misinterpreting - I just think it fluctuated a bit.

thanks for reviewing again!
Mel


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Review #20, by Elizabeth Bennet 

25th January 2010:
You might want to try and write some commentary between james and lily. While it isn't there story it still give you the commentary needed without adding a new scene. Love the story.I rushed home from school to find out what happened next.

Author's Response: Hi Elizabeth! And can I say, what a brilliant pseudonym! *grins*

Hmm, that is an option. Of course Laura would have to either be part of the conversation or overhear it (it is first person after all) but it could work. I'll have a think about it. Thanks for the advice! :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by ochalke5 

10th January 2010:
Interesting. It was another amazing chapter! I cannot wait to see what happens between Sirius and Laura... and of course he's acting weird because he likes Laura and isn't sure what to doa bout it... Great chatper.
10/10
Great job Mel
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

Glad you liked that chapter - if memory serves I was a little unsatisfied with that one but couldn't fix it properly, so it's good that you thought it was okay. *sighs with relief* And yeah, you've pretty much got it right with Sirius .. not quite, but close enough. I've written that scene from his POV and will be loading that up as a one-shot once this story is up (I've got a few of those and will post them as a short story collection) so you'll find out eventually what he was thinking then.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by pinaygrl3123 

26th December 2009:
WOOO. Go Quidditch matches. Hehe. I love them. The hype and excitement it brings to stories. And the after-party is always a lovely thing as well. I loved the bit about the Girlfriends' club, haha. I'm so happy that Mary is still with Marcus, it's so cute. And my oh my.. I do believe Laura and Sirius are the daftess pair in history. Please tell me it's obvious to everyone else that they have a thing for each other? At least the Marauders must know after the whole Bertram situation... eep.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like Quidditch matches because they're awful to write! I'm completely with JKR there. Having to think up ways to make them interesting is incredibly hard. But yeah, the party afterwards is always fun, isn't it?

As for Sirius and Laura, well no, it's not obvious to everyone else. The thing about something like that is that it has to occur to you as a possibility before you can see that it's happening, and most of Hogwarts is too set in their past history to see that things have changed. A few people have noticed, but not many. But yeah, the other boys know, like I said earlier, at least that it goes one way.

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by Adrielne 

20th October 2009:
Wow! I love your story!
I've read these 32 chapters in the last 24 hours and I'm really impressed with how you really do try to stick to canon and not put in too much untrue stuff!
I'm actually working on a fanfic of my own (nothing too advanced, only 10,000 words in three chapters so far) but I want it to be canon, too, so if you could tell me where you get all the info from - I'd be much in your debt (and are the Gryffindors you write about factual? I mean, there's no Dorcas Meadowes or Frank and Alice, the future Longbottoms... So did you make the girls and guys from Gryffindor up or what?).

The few differences between your Marauders and my idea of them is I thought Sirius would be much more of a womanizer and James would ask Lily out like two times a week... or day... but the way you wrote them does fit into the rest of the story, so I won't bug you about it :)

Thanks for the help and KEEP ON WRITING! You totally deserve the Dobby award you got a while ago!!! Don't let any snide comments make you think otherwise.


~Adrielne

Author's Response: Hi Adrielne! Thanks for the review!

Wow, 32 chapters in 24 hours? That is dedicated. I'm most impressed. :) And I'm very pleased that you appreciate my attempts to stick to canon - the idea was to write a fic that fit in with the canon that we do have and didn't contradict anything, so hopefully I'm pulling that off.

Right. I think it's fair to say that almost everyone has different interpretations of how people like James and Sirius were at school, though your version seems to be more prevalent in the world of fanfic than mine is. This however is just my interpretation so it's how I wrote it. There is nothing that says though that my version is any more or less correct than yours, which is part of what makes it so much fun to write a Marauder fic - you can write them almost however you like.

As for canon, well you can't go past the Harry Potter Lexicon (there's a link in the forums) for information. To answer your questions: Mary and Lily are canon and I made the rest up, though all surnames are from canon somehow. We don't actually know for sure that Mary Macdonald was in Lily's year (or even in Gryffindor), though both are strongly hinted at so I've made it so. As for Frank and Alice, well they do crop up very briefly later on but because they both went through Auror training (3 years) as well as having Neville I always pictured them as being older than this lot. There's nothing in canon that says either of them were in the same year as James and Lily. We also don't know what Houses they were in - Gryffindor is implied by the family connection with Neville, but it's not confirmed anywhere. As for Dorcas Meadowes or Marlene McKinnon, we have no info about them save that they were in the Order, so you can include or not include them as per your wish. Other characters I used who are canon for this era are: Snape (obviously), Greta Catchlove, Tilden Toots, Bertram Aubrey, and Avery, Mulciber and Stebbins (who we don't have first names for); other canon names I've used for whom we don't have a year of birth are Davey Gudgeon, Veronica Smethley, Alecto Carrow, Albert Jorkins, Caradoc Dearborn, Gibbon, and a smattering of names of students in other years.

Hopefully that will be of use! But yes, make the Lexicon your friend. They have all sorts of brilliant and extremely useful information that will help you with canon writing.

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

15th October 2009:
Another Great one MEL!!! For being one of the brightest wizards in his class he really is dumber than a box of rocks at times. I am enjoying how you are dragging this on. Maybe dragging is the wrong word.more like making your readers a little crazier with each chapter. This story really is addicting!!!

Author's Response: Hi again! Another lovely review! Thank you :D

Yes, Sirius can be a little thick at times. But then again this is something he has very little experience with so you have to give him some leeway I think. :)

And yes, I am having fun torturing my main characters (and by extension, from the sounds of things, my readers). Sorry! But it will go on for a little longer before I relent and give them an opportunity - sexual tension is just so much fun to write. *evil grin*

thanks again, Mel


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Review #25, by notsure 

14th October 2009:
hahaha, that rumor mill sure is working over time.
So this chapter was a good step forward for James and Lily. James is starting to act a bit more mature and Lily is noticing. Sweet! There are also some interesting new developments for Sirius and Laura. Their slightly awkward moment in the stands when they switch seats. And their conversation that went after that. Then the hug. So cute and so awkward at the same time. I guess maybe that is why Sirius was avoiding her after the quidditch match. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yep, this chapter was quite important for both Laura/Sirius and Lily/James, which I thought could both use a bit of a nudge. And yes, you have it pretty much right in why Sirius was avoiding her that night - I've actually written that scene from his POV so once this is all up I'll post that as part of a short story collection. So then everyone will know where he was coming from with that.

thanks again!
Mel


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