67 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Nathaniel 

15th July 2016:
Saw the authors note after I read the story, I actually think the dementor were a great dark creature to attack as it showed the power of the upcoming war and the control Voldemort had over the wizarding world.

Author's Response: Thank you! I was really quite unsure because I'd used them before, but nothing else fit the story quite as well. Thanks for the feedback!
cheers, Mel

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Review #2, by ME 

5th November 2015:
Good idea,that. But I CANNOT see why you did not say that Lily had a doe and James a stag for a patronus

Author's Response: Ah, that's because Lily's Patronus, according to JKR, wasn't originally a doe. That was something that changed after she got together with James. I couldn't think of what it could be beforehand so I just left it blank for now. Thanks for picking it up though!

cheers Mel

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Review #3, by twitchy_pigeons 

8th February 2015:
I think it was a great idea - it never occurred to me to really wonder how James ended up as Head Boy, I just figured it was because he was that brilliant. You definitely made him seem on par with the professors, very capable and commanding. Something about Sirius and James fending off a hundred dementors just makes a girl go weak at the knees. :D

Author's Response: Yes it does a bit, doesn't it? So does the protective side - or at least it does with me. Thakns for the feedback!

cheers Mel

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Review #4, by Emily1990 

19th September 2014:
Nope you don't have to have been prefect to get Head Boy.

Author's Response: Exactly. But it's unusual to have a HB who wasn't a prefect. So I felt I had to explain it somehow. Thanks for the review!
cheers Mel

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Review #5, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Aw, I feel so sorry for Laura in this chapter. She's just so down and feeling sad after what happened with Bertram - and that's perfectly understandable for me - but she doesn't need to be! She doesn't think she deserves what she actually does and has such low expectations for herself. I think that Mary was probably being a good friend by telling her not to get her hopes up with Sirius, because while I'm sure he does like her, it would be awful for Laura to fall for him and not have the feelings returned when they're all becoming good friends. Those Sirius/Laura moments, though! He was so sweet telling her she is beautiful and holding her hand and putting his arm around her - I think he'd have carried on like that if James hadn't spotted him, to be honest!

Oh my goodness, another Dementor attack! I didn't expect the Hogsmeade trip to end that way at all but I liked the way that you used it to give an explanation for why Dumbledore might have made James Head Boy after not being a prefect. He's shown such brilliant leadership skills here and it's clear how great they'll be at fighting Death Eaters in the future if they managed this as just sixth years!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yeah, Laura's having a rough time at the moment, but Sirius is doing what he can. ANd yes, Mary's trying to be a good friend, but as you've worked out in this case she's off track a bit. Sigh.

and yes, more Dementors. I think I put in the author note that I didn't want to use them again, but none of the other dark creatures did the job properly. ANd I did have to come up with a reason for James to be HB when he wasn't a prefect. Glad you liked it!

cheers Mel

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Review #6, by Scarlett Black 

4th May 2014:
I absolutely love the part when Sirius lifts his head up 'like a dog on a scent', very clever!! This is my third time reading this story, I love your way with words

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's so nice when people tell me they've read this more than once, and makes me pleased I put so much work into it.
Thanks again, Mel

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Review #7, by Olga 

1st January 2013:
Wow...just wow. Anazing. I was scared for them.

Author's Response: You were? Excellent! It means I did soemthing right, so thank you.

cheers, Mel

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Review #8, by loopylunalovegood 

11th June 2012:
Firstly, this is a fabulous story. I adored the fact that you didn't rush into it, that they weren't snogging two minutes after they met (Well that IS an exaggeration but you know what I mean?) Secondly, This is probably a silly question, but what is Laura's patronus? Again, wonderful story, so glad I'm reading it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you're enjoying it. Anyway, Laura's patronus is a large dog that resembles a golden retriever. Does that make sense?

cheers, Mel

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Review #9, by Lillylover22 

2nd March 2012:
Great chapter. Full of suspence 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thank you! So pleased you liked it.
cheers, Mel

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Review #10, by Vivre 

9th November 2011:
This chapter was really, really good! I was wondering if you have wrote it in 'The Process of Becoming Tamed' because it would be interesting to see it from Sirius's point of veiw? :) x

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

No, this chapter is not covered in PBT. I thought that enough was said about it in this narrative and didn't see the need to supplement it with a Sirius POV. However, you're not the first person who has asked about this so maybe I'm not always the best judge. That said, though, I am not planning on adding to PBT now it's complete so we will have to just do with this version.

cheers, Mel

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Review #11, by classicblack 

20th October 2011:
DUN DUN DUN!!! Dementors in Hogsmeade! Oh my! I actually think the dementor idea tied the story together nicely. It sort of makes it seem like you were foreshadowing earlier on in the story.
And I actually never thought about it that way, that James would need a reason, I mean. But I guess that's because all the fics I've read have started in 7th year or ended before the end of 6th so it never mentioned it... Great job thinking ahead! Really, again, I have to express my amazement at your attention to detail. Amazing job!
Until next chapter,

Author's Response: Phew! *wipes brow* I'm so glad you think the Dementors work - I really was worried that it would feel too much like that earlier chapter, but if it ties it together then that's just brilliant. *beams*

And yeah, I thought there had to be a reason. If Harry's 7th year was a normal school year, and the Head Boy hadn't been a prefect, he would certainly have been talking to Ron and Hermione trying to work out why they got the job. At least, the way I see he would have. So I gave James a good reason to get the post. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #12, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

7th August 2011:
I absolutely loved the idea of having a Dementor attack in Hogsmeade, particularly as it ties perfectly into canon in the sense that they sided with Lord Voldemort during his initial rise to power so it was perfectly believable. I also like how you mentioned in your author's note that it would have taken something rather significant for James to have been made Head Boy without being a Prefect first, and I think this explanation works perfectly, demonstrating his more responsible and caring side.

I really like how so suddenly Laura's feeling for Sirius have dawned upon her and how suddenly he sort of seems to be mirroring these feelings almost as though he too has shared them for longer than he has let on, much longer I'm assuming. I think him showing genuine concern for the girls safety alongside James goes to show there was so much more to him, and I think you've portrayed this beautifully in this chapter.

I honestly have not got the words to describe how much I am enjoying this story, and coming from someone who almost exclusively reads Dramione, I'd say that's a pretty big thing! Well done!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)

Author's Response: You would not believe how difficult it was for me to work out how to get the Head Boy-ship into this story without it sounding contrived. Boy am I glad you seem to think I managed it, because it was giving me real headaches. However, as you said, the Dementors did side with Voldemort in the first war and this was one way of showing how that might have impacted the wizarding population at the time.

Thanks again, Mel

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Review #13, by alicia and anne 

6th August 2011:
I can't believe Dementors went to Hogsmeade, but I'm glad how James lead the group and took it upon himself to be responsible for the students safety. So proud of him! He and Lily seemed so terrified that the other would be hurt, you can really see just how much they adore each other. I can't believe only McGongall came! where were the other teachers? how stupid of them for not patrolling more often. Yes Dumbledore arrived! go Dumbledore! you know things are aboutt o go down! even I felt calmer knowing that he was there. Sirius with the chocolate was so cute *hugs him*
I like how you came up with this being the reason James became head boy. Bravo!

alicia and anne

Author's Response: Yes, even Hogsmeade wasn't immune to the horrors of the first war. As I said in the A/N I thought it had to be somethign pretty drastic, so this was what I chose. Very pleased you liked it because, if it didn't work, a whole premise of this story would have gone down the tube. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #14, by girly1393 

6th June 2011:
Interesting way of bringing Head Boy possibilites into the mix. I don't know if anyone else has really explored that.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Thanks! I thought it had to be covered as the Head Boy job is normally given to one of the prefects, and we know that Remus, not James, was the Gryffindor prefect for that year. Therefore, there had to be a pretty significant reason for Dumbledore to give James the job over an existing prefect, and this was what I came up with. I don't know how many other people HAVE covered it but I understand it is a bit unusual, probably because most Marauder fics start in seventh year anyway.

cheers, Mel

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Review #15, by HoneyDukesKid 

16th April 2011:
I just had a sort of urge to read this chapter for some reason. It's late and I just got back from a college-visit-weekend-retreat thing so this will be more like random comments than an actual review.

First off, I've always liked this chapter. Not only does it give sufficient background for why James became Head Boy, but it also gives a lot of room for character development. As I continue to write my fic, which has a lot of instances like this especially in latter "chapters" (yeah. right. because I'm actually writing chapters...) so I can appreciate what you did here.

I like how you incorporate Laura's feelings and moods into your narrative. The more aware of her surroundings she is, the more detailed and internally focused the narration becomes. Or, like in this chapter, the more drained she's feeling the more factual--"he said, she said" as opposed to "he looked like, she looked like" or even "I felt that" so kudos. After spending so much more attention to voice, in class as well as out, I can much better appreciate the emotion you're still able to convey in your characters with an "outer limited" narration. Good work!

I didn't remember anything about this from anyone else's POV so I went back to PBT to be sure and I was right. I just thought it would be interesting to read this from another perspective, especially Sirius or James.

Anyway, that's all for now. Great work, as I've already said. 10/10 because you deserve it.

Author's Response: Hi Brook!

Yes, 2 review responses in one day - I'm making the most of this working again :D

Anyway. Very pleased you liked this chapter, because I thought it was important to show why James did get the HB job when he wasn't a prefect. Character development is just an added bonus, hahaha.

I'm also flattered about your comments about how the narrative changes with Laura's mood. I"m actually not sure if I intended that but I became so immersed in her moods that it probably had an impact anyway. Having said that, I'm not sure if I could write her again very well because it's been so long, but that's irrelevant :D

As for another POV, well to be honest it never really occurred to me to write this chapter in another one. Have I said this to you already? I think it's because it's only a minor part of the James/Lily subplot and I never felt the need. If the mood strikes, though, you never know what I might come up with. :)

thanks again, Mel

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Review #16, by JustOneOfTheWeasleys 

21st March 2011:
One of my favorite things in this story other than the fabulous writing is how well you get the facts. You really know your Harry Potter, and that combined with the real care taken in your plot creation and editing, this story is one of the best I've ever read; fan fiction or published novel.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

I'm really pleased that you appreciate the effort I put into this story to make it fit the HP universe properly. I did do a lot of research and checking to try to get it right, but to have a review like this is just the icing on the cake. So thank you! *beams* It really means a lot to me. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #17, by theelderwand 

21st August 2010:
I think the Dementor attack was brilliant. I wouldn't lament the other options you named not working out. And this is definitely a perfect way for James to sail into the Head Boy position.

L/S - these two are killing me. At least the dance has begun, but I just wish they'd get on with it. So close, and yet...I'd hope the Dementor attack might finaly push them together, although it looks like its definitely improving James' chances with Lily

Off for more.


Author's Response: Yes, James as Head Boy when he wasn't a prefect was an interesting problem to have to traverse but, with the war in full swing, I figured that some real leadership in that context would sway Dumbledore pretty well. Glad it came off okay! *wipes brow*

And yes, the dance has begun ... but don't get too impatient. I'm incredibly cruel to my main pair, hahaha.

cheers, Mel

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Review #18, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
This is such an awesome explanation of why Dumbledore might have started trusting James with head-boy-ship. Also, an absolutely lovely way for Lily to become a bit more honest about her concern for said head-boy's wellbeing. All in all, not bad for an attack by the most depressing things on Earth!

As ever, my concentration was taken up mainly by the interaction between Sirius and Laura - "You are beautiful" - SWOON! She really needs to stop being so down on herself, though I accept that such changes don't happen overnight. Oh well, hopefully Sirius will give her more reasons to improve her self esteem. His protectiveness was also deeply yummy.

Right, onto more...

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks, once again, for the review :D

Ah, Head Boy. I figured it needed to be something big considering he wasn't a prefect, and this was the best I could come up with. Glad you enjoyed it! *beams* And yes, it also helped pave the way for Lily to admit to herself that she was starting to like him more.

As for my main pair, well as you realise her self esteem is a real hurdle to overcome here. How that works is revealed in due course. :)

cheers, Mel

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Review #19, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
james and sirius are just too awesome! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the hero personas had to come out again at some stage, and this seemed to be the most opportune time for that, especially if it was to explain how James got the HB job in seventh year. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel

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Review #20, by ericajen 

27th July 2010:
Quite a dramatic chapter here. I thought the Dementor attack was well executed. It was really intense to read, actually. I like the building feelings between Sirius and Laura. It's really fun to read(:

Author's Response: Thanks, Erica! I thought we needed something big to make James head boy and this was the best I could come up with. As for my main pair - well all I'll say there is that I am incredibly cruel to them. But you've read on so you know that by now. But yeah, Mary had to get that sadistic streak from somewhere, and I have a feeling it was from me, hahaha.

cheers, Mel

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Review #21, by always_dreaming 

25th March 2010:
hmmm i guess i'm a little suspicious of the lack of teachers and shopkeepers and adults. it was set up a little too nicely for an attack. everyone cleared off the streets and everyone happened to be inside and no one came to help until it was too late? i thought it was put together nicely aside from that. just a little too coincedental, i guess.

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Yes, it was definitely convenient that no one was around, though the streets were deserted because the Dementors were on their way, and people could feel their presence. At least, that was the intent. But yeah, I do agree. It's a plot device though and it worked for me at the time so I used it. I accept that it's got its faults, though.

cheers, Mel

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Review #22, by Ronsgirl29 

19th January 2010:
I think that's a good idea! I like how you wrote it, and I'm sure James was pretty pleased he got to save Lily as well as half the school. Also Sirius and Laura had a few cute moments in this chapter i loved (: 10/10

Author's Response: Gee, thanks again! *beams*

I admit I thought long and hard about why James might have been appointed Head Boy when he wasn't a prefect, and this was the best idea I could come up with. (Which probably isn't saying much because I'm often not very imaginative.) But yeah, he got to save Lily as well as half the school so he had to get some brownie points for that, don't you think?

And yes, a few cute S/L moments. They come up occasionally. *grins*

cheers, Mel

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Review #23, by ochalke5 

7th January 2010:
Wow, oh my god, I'm tearing up! why i'm not quite sure but that was a very emotional chapter. It was amazing... i honestly do not think you understand just how truly amazing this story is. This chapter, is my second favortie so far. Really amazing work, Mel. I love it.
Wow... just wow... really that's all that can be said, wow...

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

Wow, I didn't think this was that emotional a chapter. Or, should I say, there are more emotional ones coming up. But then, everyone interprets things differently so I'm still flattered. :D

As for "how truly amazing this story is", well I can honestly say that I don't think it's that brilliant. I have found all sorts of things wrong with it and I certainly don't think I'm the world's best writer. However, if you do think that, then thank you again! I'm astonished. Thrilled, but astonished.

cheers, Mel

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Review #24, by pinaygrl3123 

26th December 2009:
I love Laura's mom, so write about everything. And of course, her being an officer makes it good to know her senses on people were keen. And she was right about Laura.. if you aren't happy you shouldn't be with that somebody. Too bad it had to end like that.. But her mom is so cute about the guys like that. Haha. And wow. I love your concept on how James became Head Boy, very good idea. Most validating of any reason I've ever seen anyone try to come up with. I love this chapter because of so many things. Lily getting hysterical about James, Sirius calling Laura beautiful, and how James became HB. It's all so brilliantly thought out.

Author's Response: Hi again!

You know, I thought long and hard about putting that letter in from Laura's mum, but I've had such good feedback about it that I'm glad I did. :D

And I'm very glad you liked my take on how James got the HB job - like I said in the author note I figured it had to be something pretty big, so this was what I came up with. And it is in situations like this that natural leadership comes out, and I think James had that in spades. Which I think is one thing Dumbledore recognised when he made the HB decision. (As an aside, I think Dumbledore also did that in part as an attempt at matchmaking, but that's irrelevant here.)

thanks again, Mel

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Review #25, by WindCompass13 

18th October 2009:
:) It's one o'clock in the morning, and my eyes are really tired, so i'd probably have to turn off the computer now. A shame really, i would have love to continue reading this intriguing story :) A job well done :) and I especially love how the marauders shielded Larua through her break up, that was really sweet of them...I was expecting Betram to do something like in the previous few chapters...he seems a little dodgy, controlled not by his mind but by his hormones XD well, he's a teenage boy, so what can i say? Anyways, night night~ z

Author's Response: Hi WindCompass13! Thanks for the review!

I must say that I feel guilty for keeping you up so late - sorry about that. :( I'm ultra flattered though that you think so much of my story, that's just so great to read. It makes me happy. *beams*

I'm especially pleased that you liked the boys' behaviour following the breakup, I thought that was kinda sweet too. As for Bertram, well yes, typical teenaged boy. And he'd had some success with that approach in the past so he couldn't understand why it wasn't working with Laura. In any case, not overly observant or subtle.

Hope you slept well and I haven't kept you from anything important. :)
cheers, Mel

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