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34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rainpixie 

12th April 2013:
I have been searching and searching for a smart and well written James and lily story and I am so pleased to have finally found it!! Love!!

Author's Response: Hi Rainpixie! Thank you so much for taking the time to review (I realize it was ages ago, and I'm sorry for not replying to you sooner). I know that feeling of finding a James/Lily story you love, and I'm so glad that I could provide that for you. I've been thinking the last few days about whether I could pick up Twice Defied again...I'm still not sure, but at the very least, I wanted to thank you for your reviews!

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Review #2, by starryskies55 

15th September 2012:
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? Oh, my last review, full of hopeful promise and feels, and then you tear it up and throw the pieces to the wind. I'm not very happy any more. I didn't think she would actually say yes, but I didn't think he was going to muck that up so monumentally. I mean, seriously? The one subject that could bring their tentative friendship crashing down- sure, that's the one he'll pick to talk to her with.

Lily was a bit weird in this chapter though. Her anger /was/ hypocritical, and she said about not really being able to talk to James because 'their past' was in the way, but then she said she really would miss being able to talk to him. I was all, 'wha?'
But lordy, that line at the end with poetic licence: oh, I loved it. I really did. It was truly majestic.

And James, James, James. You are a complete moron. After that lovely demonstration of how not to ask someone out, you display a chronic case of foot-in-mouth. I didn't even think it was that possible to be /that/ bad. However, you are so adorable. Your heart is in the right place, even if you are a bit of an idiot. The idea that Lily not saying 'no' had sustained you for seven years is beautifully hopelessly romantic. But you are a fool. But I love you. I want a James of my very own!

(side note about Mary/Remus: STOP LEADING HER ON. Clearly he likes her, and if Remus thinks his furry little problem is going to get in the way, (which it doesn't HAVE to) then he shouldn't lead her on. The lets-turn-Mary-into-a-lioness plan isn't working so far, and Remus breaking her heart won't help! Do you hear me, Remus? Bah, boys. Although, Lily getting jealous. oh, that was amazing. :D a great touch. And I think that if James showed her the secret passages, she'd report them. So, :P)

Anyway. I expect this all to be cleared up and beautiful in the next chapter. *snorts* unlikely, but I can hope, eh?

Fantastic, (but gr)

- Jenny

Author's Response: *cowers* I know, I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, it always kind of guts me to think about this part, too. But I also feel like it was necessary for them to acknowledge their messy history before they could really be together. I think they could only go on ignoring it for so long before it would inevitably rear its ugly head. Anyway, I'm rambling. :P

James, like many humans of the male variety, is not exactly the most tactful. This, however, is probably one of his worse moments in that department. Unfortunate coincidence, that. He really does mean well, and he's so hopeful, but I always feel like one of his main flaws is that he's a bit thoughtless when it comes to other people's feelings (hence the teasing of Snape and other students, and then the fact that he caused such a mess here).

I think Lily is supposed to be a bit weird here--I always like to write arguments where someone could read it and be mad at both characters. I think maybe the stuff you're talking about could be clarified more, though, because I don't want it to be TOO confusing. My intention was mainly to say that she thought they couldn't ever really be true friends because of their history--not really that they couldn't talk to each other because of it. And she kind of goes there in the heat of the moment, hence the later regret of losing him as a friend. It's actually very roundabout, now that I try to explain it. Basically, Lily is irrational in this chapter. I don't think what she's saying is supposed to make sense, although I did read that part over and I thought it could use a few edits. :P

Poor Remus and Mary. Honestly. I think Remus is enjoying the feeling of being liked, but as you pointed out, that's kind of unfair to Mary. It may just be that she gains something out of this whole situation in the end, though. ;)

*adopts innocent look* Oh, yes, everything will be perfect next chapter. *sees Jenny isn't buying it* All right, maybe not. But I guess the good thing about James/Lily stories is that you know it'll get cleared up in the end, right? :P

Thank you again!


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Review #3, by noon 

15th July 2012:
So far so good :) Haven't read a good fanfic in a while! Good job :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. :)

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Review #4, by StormThief17 

25th May 2012:
I realy enjoyed this chapter! I love how you show that they like each other but there is still a lot of tension going on. Thank You!

Author's Response: Thanks again for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed that aspect of the story; I don't think it would have been easy for them to overcome their history together, and so I wanted to show that. :)

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Review #5, by Potterlove1997 

26th March 2012:
Quite sad but still love it!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're right, it is pretty sad, but the good thing is that all will get better in time. ;)

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Review #6, by classicblack 

10th December 2011:
Okay, I admit it, I was totally hoping that she would say yes and they'd go out and then skip happily off into the sunset. But, as with most stories, that didn't happen. Darn. *sighs*
I'm hoping that James and Lily both get some attitude adjustments and realise that they're both too stubborn for their own good and that they should just sod it all and go out with each other, among other things. I love Remus and Mary, by the way- they're so adorable.
Wonderful chapter!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Hahaha, they do both need a bit of an attitude adjustment, don't they? And the best part of that statement is the word "both"--something I wanted to try to get across in writing their relationship is that it probably wasn't just James who needed to do some changing in order for things to work.

Remus and Mary...well, based on your later comments about Mary (which, by the way, I found hilarious, and completely agreed with), maybe not so adorable? Haha. But I know what you mean; in a very first-impression sort of way, they make a nice couple.

Thanks again!


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Review #7, by Livelaughlove25 

17th July 2011:
Pretty good. I like it. I haven't read any good James/lily shippers yet.

Author's Response: Oh, this was your first James/Lily story? Are you addicted now? :P James/Lily is definitely my favourite kind of fan fiction...not that that wasn't obvious already!

Anyway, I'm glad you're liking it, and I hope it's been a good introduction to James/Lily! Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #8, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
Loved the argument - was very well written and displayed James' arrogance quite well. Just because he's a good guy, doesn't mean he's not a dolt.

Author's Response: So glad to hear you liked it. :D James' arrogance, and the fact that not enough has changed between him and Lily, definitely shines through quite clearly here--I mean, come on, how could he think she was just going to start dating him all of a sudden?

I'm happy the argument was well-written, too. I'm often wary of writing them, just because they often seem like they can cross over into the territory of being melodramatic very easily.

Thank you!


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Review #9, by LauraLongbottom 

10th April 2011:
I think I'm gonna cry!! This story is really, really good. Great work!
James is so cute

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you really enjoyed the story! I definitely agree about James being cute. :P He's fun to write!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #10, by HartOfARebel 

7th March 2011:
i honestly thought they were gonna go somewhere there..and they did but it was the wrong way!! good twist though, keeps it interesting =]

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that the twist got you. ;) I like to think that, up until this point, this story follows a pretty typical pattern for James/Lily stories during their seventh year--and I also think, had things worked out between them and they'd started dating in this chapter, it would have stayed on that course. I tried to make things a little bit different, though!

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by doglover 

22nd December 2010:
that was so sad for james!

Author's Response: It was a bit heart-breaking, wasn't it? :( He really did think he was going to succeed. But I guess the nice thing about James/Lily stories is that you know they'll eventually get together!

Thanks again!


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Review #12, by AlPadfootPotter96 

16th December 2010:
D:! Ahh!! I hope they get together soon!!

Author's Response: Well, as you've read on, you got your wish. Although I'm not sure if it qualified as "soon"...better late than never, right? :P

Thanks again!


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Review #13, by navya 

19th November 2010:
hey.. i blv tht sirius nd remus nd peter were mre suportiv o james wen it cme to lily.. u hav potrayd dem to b realy indiferent...
wel to each his own..
oder dan dat d story is nyc..

Author's Response: Hi navya! Thanks for the review. Glad that you enjoyed the story, and I'm sorry for taking so long to reply to you!

It really is "to each their own" with fan fiction--everyone has such different tastes and visions that you can find new characterizations and plots all the time. If it helps, I do believe that deep down, Sirius, Remus, and Peter would have been very supportive of James. They just give him a bit of a hard time because they've had to listen to him mooning over Lily for so long. :P Boys will be boys, and all that. Anyway, as I said, I'm glad you enjoyed the story nonetheless.

Thanks again!


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Review #14, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
No, I didn't believe it. But I did wish she would say yes. I also wish the two of them could actually communicate with each other, i.e., that Lily could keep her mouth shut and James could let the correct words come out of his mouth.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: The painful end of this chapter was really just a big miscommunication, so you're very right to point that out as one of their problems. Basically, if James had gone after her when she stormed out, she would have forgiven him, and all would have been fine(ish). I do think that there would be some real issues that the two of them would need to sort through based on their history, though, so I couldn't see them making it to dating one another with it all being completely smooth sailing.

Thank you!


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Review #15, by Flower n Prongs 

12th July 2010:
I didn't think that she was going to say yes! (Well, I know she'll say yes eventually but I didn't think she'd say yes in this chapter.) I've started reading this story tonight and have flown through the first seven chapters. It certainly doesn't seem like it's been 30 000 words or whatever, it's flowing quite nicely. Now, onto the next chapter! =)

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm back from my internet-less vacation and ready to respond to your reviews. :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the first several chapters of the story! I'm especially happy to hear that it flows pretty well--my writing was certainly not at its best in these earlier chapters, so it's reassuring to know that you thought it read fine. And I hope that no one REALLY thought she was going to say yes so early on. :P

Thanks for the review!


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Review #16, by happy_person 

1st July 2010:
aww poor james! damn, and i thought she would have said yes--or even think about it, i guess not :( oh, well, they have to get together soon, after all, JK made it so! :D another great chapter tho! ;)

Author's Response: James/Lily stories are nice in that you know they WILL get together eventually, aren't they? ;) So, yes, he didn't get what he wanted here, but he will eventually...and since it took me so long to reply to your reviews, you already know just how!

Thanks again!


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Review #17, by Jack Schultz 

30th June 2010:
I am very impressed with your writing style so far. I know this is a finished work but thought I would review anyway. Can you recomend any other marauder era stories? I hope the marauders get a bit more boisterous in the chapters to come. I like the insinuations about past hyjinx but it would be good to see some mischief soon. Again I know its already been written but hey

Author's Response: Wow, thanks a lot! :) I'm so glad you enjoyed the story (or at least up to this chapter). I do have a sequel to it, so, while this is a finished work, it's not the final end of it.

Writing the Marauders as a group (in the way that we saw in OotP) has been a challenge for me. You're not the first one to make suggestions of that kind, and I do keep it in mind as I continue writing them. Thanks for the feedback! :)

As for story recommendations...well, the few I can think of off the top of my head are "How to tame a Marauder" by melian, "Match." by mental, "At the Funeral" by odyssey, "Never Shall We Die" by Romina Stephanie, and pretty much all of Stag Night's stories...most of those are on my favourites, and I think they're pretty fantastic. Check them out if you get a chance!

Thank you so much for the review, and I'm so sorry for how long it took me to respond. I'm having a lot of trouble writing these days, and I was so embarrassed about it that I was avoiding my reviews altogether. :S


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Review #18, by Isannah 

15th June 2010:
Well, it was a bit surprising but I don't really blame Lily. It happens in romance all the time, so I guess I could say that this is one of my favorite chapters.

Author's Response: That's great that this is one of your favourite chapters! :) There does have to be a bit of upheaval in every romance, you're right. I always worry about getting too melodramatic, though, so I'm glad to hear you enjoyed this chapter.

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Review #19, by me 

3rd May 2010:
that was absolutly fantastic!!! write some more!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review. I'm so happy you thought it was fantastic. As for writing more, well, I've finished this particular story, but I'll take your encouragement to heart as I'm beginning to write the sequel. :)

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Review #20, by Ana 

29th April 2010:
since u beg and i have to admit that i have been reluctant to review this story in all i loved it so much the dialog flow. and i love how you express the characters feelings everything

Author's Response: Hi Ana! Thank you for reviewing. I understand the feeling of not wanting to review a story--it's so much more relaxing to just read it and stay quiet, isn't it? In any case, I'm very glad that you were willing to take the time to write something down for me.

I'm really happy to hear you like the dialogue! I think I do much better with it than description, for sure. Though it does sound like I must have done something right there, if you like the way I've incorporated emotion. :)

Thanks again! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well.


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Review #21, by _hedwig_ 

23rd April 2010:
This is one of the best James/Lily stories I've read...I love it soo much! I've tried to do James/Lily stories, but I kinda sorta maybe--alright, I'm horrible at them. It's like the one topic I CANT do. 10/10!

Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, thank you for all the reviews! I can't even tell you what an utter and complete shock (of the best kind) it was to log in and find 12 new reviews!!

I'm so pleased that you're enjoying it so much...there are, of course, so many James/Lily stories out there, and some very good ones that I pale in comparison to, so I always take it as a major compliment when someone says this is one of the best they've read. :)

Funnily enough, James/Lily is pretty much the only fan fiction topic I've EVER done. I should probably think about branching out. :P

Thank you so much!


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Review #22, by CaribouProngs 

17th April 2010:
As far as being cliche goes, I think you're doing a good job of avoiding it. If by 'cliche' you mean things like James and Lily having a huge fight and ending it by pushing one another up against the wall, or having Lily go totally fainting flower after finally admitting her feelings for James. Bad explanation. What I mean by that is, you haven't turned it into some sort of bad romance novel with archetypes instead of actual characters.
I think the plot is well-rounded. You have the threat of Voldemort on the fringes, the oc's that are neither completely ludicrous, or simply space-fillers, a little Remus-drama, and an enigmatic DADA teacher. Also, I like the sense of the plot that it's going to just keep going. I don't get the sense that you write yourself into a corner, and then have to grasp at straws to get things moving again. That said, some parts do move a little slowly, but it works well enough with the story.
I like Anna and Mary. At first Mary did seem a little like a filler character, but her personality and mystique seems to have evolved--good job! I also am SO GLAD that you don't refer to her as 'Mary MacDonald' in every sentence, because even if that IS who you mean her to be, I am really sick of authors asserting that character as a way to prove themselves really canon-worthy.
This flashback with James coming to terms with his feelings seemed a little rushed to me. You started out great, and then there was this little part where the other Marauders are all like 'what?' and then everyone is confused, me included. Still, you got back on track and got your point across.
Sorry, I usually don't leave reviews this long, and I'm sure you've already gotten good advice for this chapter! I'm just too anxious to read the next one to go back and make sure I'm not repeating anything that's already been said!

Author's Response: Ahh, yes, I think that was the sort of thing that I meant by cliched--you know, the contrived plot devices that have lost a lot of their emotional force since first being used. I should say, though, that I do love myself some well-written cliches, especially if they're ones about James and Lily! :P I am glad that you're finding the characters to be a little fuller, which I think is really the heart of what I was trying to get at there.

Oh, and I'm so happy you think the plot is good. :) I really was (still am) concerned about my ability to make things interesting and really capture a reader's attention well. It may be a case of being my own worst critic, of course, but I'm not a plot mastermind with crazy twists and that sort of thing, so it's unbelievably reassuring to know that you find it to be well-rounded, if perhaps slightly slow at times. :) That's something I can definitely live with and try and improve!

Haha, that seems quite awkward to me to refer to Mary by first and last name all the time, given how often she's mentioned! If people recognize her from the books, that's wonderful, but I'm not out to shove it in anyone's face. I think (hope) you'll also find that Mary does become a much fuller character as the story progresses. I can definitely see where you're coming from on her being a bit filler-ish early on, but I think at some point I realized who she was and what she was meant to do in the story, and she took on a little more depth.

I'll go back and look at the flashback scene, see if there's anything I can't fix to make it clearer. This was kind of transplanted from a bunch of little vignettes I had just written as background, so that may be why it doesn't flow as well.

No need to apologize at all for the long review! (Have you seen my responses?) I love to hear all thoughts about the story, no matter how short or long. :) And thank you for giving me so much feedback here; it's wonderful and much appreciated.


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Review #23, by Anna 

14th February 2010:
I think this story is great! I feel like i am reading a real Harry Potter book! It is amazing and I can't stop reading it! Great job!

Author's Response: Well, hi there! Nice name, by the way. ;)

I'm so glad you like the story so much! I don't think I can measure up to any of the real books, but I'm pleased that it's recreating the experience for you. I think that's a wonderful compliment, considering that I'm writing Harry Potter fan fiction!

Thanks so much for letting me know how much you love the story!


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Review #24, by TheBrightSideofSiriusBlack 

10th February 2010:
I think this Marauder era story is refreshing to tell you the truth. You mix a lot of description about the world outside of Hogwarts with typical teenage life and add in a bit of romance. A lot of authors make Lily's change of heart too quick or really obvious but your story builds it up and I really like that. I love your description. You do a very good job of showing, not telling.

Author's Response: Hello again! How nice to get another review so soon! :) Those questions at the end of the chapter always seem to lure people in...

I'm really glad that you think there's a good balance of different things in the story. I always try to do that, but as the author, it's sometimes I bit difficult for me to get an outside perspective and gauge how well I'm managing it.

As for Lily, yes, I do have to agree with you about the strange speed that often accompanies her change of heart. Not that I haven't read and loved many stories where she realizes it in a flash, but I felt like it made their relationship stronger to have them gradually become friends, maybe have some difficulty with it, and then have her develop those feelings. I'm glad you like it! :)

Oh, and what a lovely compliment on my description. If there's one thing that bothers me in writing, it's unnecessary and unrealistic exposition. I much prefer to try and show things, like you said. For one thing, I think it's much more realistic in terms of perspective, because no one notices/figures out every little thing, right? And for another, I always really enjoy stories where it gives me the room to infer or imagine, so I've tried to do that occasionally as well. I like stories where I'm not boxed in because the author's explained each and every little detail.

Thank you for another review!


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Review #25, by m 

6th February 2010:
i love this story! it's not cliched at all, and by far my favorite marauders era story.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Wow, your favourite? That's pretty fantastic! Thank you so much. :) I'm sure it's cliched in parts, but oh well, you can't avoid them all. The important thing is that you're enjoying it!

Thanks for reviewing!


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