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17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by starryskies55 

15th September 2012:
*dies*

The feels in this chapter have officially killed me. James and Lily- OH GOSH. Although, it's early days yet and I fully agree with Sirius' hilarious comment: "We get it. Evans is treating you like a normal human being, so she must be in love with you." - don't walk before you can run, Jamesie. I love that he was trying so hard to be nice to her with Filch -in fact, he was perfectly lovely- and then he made sure he didn't creepily stare at Lily while in the Three Broomsticks, and then he went to save her! *flails* Lily was in a little over her head, and while her intentions were good, I was mentally trying to speed up James' appearance there. And trademark attack of Snape... nicely done. :P

It was also super interesting to hear about all the conflict in the Department for Law Enforcement- I suppose the internal mess helps the Death Eaters become worse, as it's not regulated and stuff? I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of the Death Eaters had stuck their oars in, to be honest. And I caught Dearborn's little comment about 'making amends following the scandal'- does he want back in at the Ministry? o.O and the Hog's Head = dodgy. I dislike him.

One question I have, is has the Order been officially formed yet? Is it already operating under Dumbledore, and Lily and co. just don't know about it yet, or will they have a hand in its creation? I'm imagining a parallel to the DA- a study group intended to help students with Defence against the Dark Arts, and then that growing into the Order we saw in HP. Hmmm. (Lily/James did suggest a study group... :P, oh dearest imagination, kindly shut up).

And Remus nearly followed Mary away. don't you think I didn't see that! I saw it! (although, I AGREE, LILY. Mary's skittishness- you need to put a stop to that. Get out her inner lioness and stuffs)

And also- I'm pretty sure I'm right about Dearborn. Either that or he's actually really good and an Order member brought in by Dumbledore to watch over the kids... but, if that were true then I would have assumed it would have been someone that was even slightly competent at teaching Defence... no, I'll stick to my guns. He's a baddie. Fo sho.

Another chapter that I really can't gush enough about. It was witty: ('consider yourself insulted', Sirius' commentary ideas ohlordIcan'twaitforQuidditch... ) and there was all the FEELS, and then there was the epicness of the meeting with Bellatrix. Nasty dark arts business, which was amazing. Every time I think, 'yay fluff!' ^.^ , you throw that in, and I'm all 'YAY ACTION!' >:D And the shadowing evil that looms overhead is growing. :P

Amazing. Just, awesome.

- Jenny.

Author's Response: Yay, more reviews from Jenny! :D

Well, as you saw in the next chapter, James' optimism was definitely a bit premature. He is very nice in this chapter, though, the poor guy. I'm glad you liked the tension of the Hogsmeade visit, and their fight with Snape. :)

Haha, it's really killing me to not say anything about Dearborn! I will tell you that one of the theories you have guessed so far is correct. But I won't tell you which one, unless you want me to.

The issues at the Ministry are something that I definitely see as helping Voldemort gain power--we saw the same thing happening, to a certain extent, in OotP, with Fudge refusing to admit that Voldemort was back and allowing him to fly under the radar while he rallied his troops. In this case, it's not a matter of denial, but more of organization. I think the Ministry had never really dealt with someone like Voldemort before, and so they had trouble reacting properly. Also, he's now been a threat for so long without there being any real successes at stopping him, so I think that's when people tend to start turning on each other.

The Order is definitely going to have a presence later on, and I will say that it's formed already, since you asked. I know a lot of stories show Lily and the Marauders as being really integral to the Order's early days, but I take a slightly different view, which you will eventually come to. ;)

Your comment about Mary's inner lioness is extremely prescient. *tightlipped again*

I'm so happy you liked the chapter, and are generally just enjoying the story! It honestly feels like it's been ages since I got to have the experience of someone going through this story and leaving reviews, and it is so fun! I'm remembering stuff that I forgot I even wrote! :)

Thank you so much!


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Review #2, by classicblack 

10th December 2011:
Wow you're doing a great job of incorporating the war into your story. I feel as if the "job" Bellatrix came to do was possibly to put the Imperius Curse on Dearborn. Hmm? I think you did a great job of portraying Bellatrix, as well.
Spectacular chapter!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear the war elements in the story are to your liking. It would have been such a big part of these characters' lives that it just doesn't seem right not to include it.

That is a very interesting guess! I suppose you found out what was really going on, but that certainly could have been a possibility. :) And that is great to hear that I portrayed Bellatrix well--she's a tough character to write!

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
I love the final line of this chapter because it's just so...good. Man, I am running out of synonyms for amazing. But it is a perfect way to describe James' mindset - now that reality is starting to meet fantasy.

The Death Eaters appearance was fantastic, the right amount of tension and danger. Just a hint of other relationships that will, in future, be very important.

And I like that you suggest that politics are a reason that Voldemort's campaign was even allowed to be so successful, what with the MLE not doing their job so well.

Noticed a typo - looks like a formatting error. During the scene at Hogsmeade when Bella is leaving, her sentence is cut off: "Nice to see you aga

Onwards!

Author's Response: Thank you again for mentioning the typo. :D

I had to go back and read the last line...it's been so long that I'd forgotten what it was that I wrote! I'm glad you liked it so much! That meeting of reality and fantasy is exactly what I was trying to get at, although I couldn't have put it that eloquently.

I am so not a politics-minded person usually, but I do like exploring the fact that people can often end up creating their own stumbling blocks. I think it happened several times with the Ministry in the books, and I think there are also some indications that the Ministry created problems for itself in the First War, too. Not to mention, it wasn't like they'd seen Voldemort before, so I imagine it took some time just to get to the mistake-ridden stage that they were at when Voldemort came back. :P

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by doglover 

22nd December 2010:
james thoughts at the end were hilarious.

Author's Response: Haha, I'm happy I made you laugh! I struggle to do that, so it gives me a bit of extra pride whenever someone tells me they think a chapter/scene was funny!

Thanks again!


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Review #5, by AlPadfootPotter96 

16th December 2010:
More of James and Lily to come? :)

Author's Response: There always is! (Well, okay, not technically. But let's not think about that, right? *shudders*)

Thanks again!


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Review #6, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
Aw, poor James. Heart melted by Lily.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yeah, you have to feel for James in some of these instances. He just likes her so much, and I think we've all been there at some point before. :)

Thank you!


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Review #7, by Hellen Habteab 

3rd May 2010:
Absolutley amazing!!! I can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm thrilled to hear that you thought it was amazing, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters as well! :)

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Review #8, by Renegade Niffler 

22nd April 2010:
I really like the pace of James and Lily's relationship. It's very believable, as is this story in general. I don't think there's been a moment when I haven't felt like this is truly taking place in the world JK created. Oh, and thanks for not making James ans Sirius regular partying firewhisky drinkers. It really bugs me when people do that. :)

Also, I quite like the intrigue you've created with Professor Dearborn. Well done.

Author's Response: Hi again!

You know, hearing that the story is believable is one of my favourite compliments. :) I think I was always very conscious of trying to make the plot and characters realistic when I was writing the story, especially at the beginning. Which is part of the reason why James and Sirius didn't turn out as playboy-partyers--I didn't feel that there was anything substantial in canon to support that characterization. Plus, I think it keeps a story more tied to the original books if you don't go too far outside the limits of what JKR wrote in terms of teenage life. I'm so happy to hear you think that it all seems realistic and authentic! :)

With Dearborn, I did want to give him his own storyline that was slightly mysterious, as well as a part in the unfolding of the story (which you'll see later on). I'm glad you like it!

Thanks again; hope you keep enjoying it!


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Review #9, by allie_0608 

12th April 2010:
Lol, this story is one of my fav's now [:

Author's Response: Hi Allie! :) Thanks for reviewing again. I'm so glad to hear that you're still enjoying the story--enough to consider it one of your favourites! I hope you like the rest of the story, too. :)

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Review #10, by Prongs and Lils 

28th February 2010:
aww poor james! im loving this story.and what is up with Dearborn!!! lol

Author's Response: Well, I'm very glad you're loving the story so far! As for Dearborn, everything will be explained by the end of the story. :)

Thanks for another review!


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Review #11, by Hermione33 

6th February 2010:
I absolutely love the characterization and personality you implemented on James and Lily in this fanfiction so far! ^_^ You made them much more real than what I usually read.

Author's Response: Hi, Hermione33! Thanks for the review!

You've successfully complimented me on two of the things I care about the MOST in writing this story: characterization and realism! :) I'm glad you think Lily and James seem very real to you. I thought a lot about their characters before and during the writing of this story, so I'm always very happy to hear that they way I've written them makes sense to other people.

I hope you keep liking the story, and do come back and review again if you have anything else you want to comment on! :) Thanks again for the review!


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Review #12, by RainbowVeins 

17th January 2010:
aww definetly think it was a good idea to bring james' thoughts especially into the last part really great! :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked the inclusion of his thoughts in this chapter. When I started out writing this story, I actually had a lot more trouble writing James' POV, but I think this chapter was around the time that it started getting a little easier for me. I do feel a bit bad for him at the end there, wanting to go out with Lily so badly. Hopefully it all works out for him eventually! ;)

Thanks again!


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Review #13, by DimondMoon 

15th January 2010:
I'm really loving the characters, especially Lily's, in a lot of L/J fics Lily pretty much has the same personality, I've never seen her not really care about being Head Girl, I really like the change
Rating: 10/10

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm so pleased that you like the characterizations! I really worry over that quite a bit, and it's nice to know that you like the way I've done it. I thought Lily had been characterized the same way for long enough, and I might as well give her a bit of a change. I imagine after being a prefect, she probably would have known that there were frustrations that went along with it. She would have been a little more disillusioned than James. :)

Thanks again for the review! I really hope you enjoy the rest of the chapter as well.


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Review #14, by RocketBabyDoll9 

21st December 2009:
"He placed his free hand on her back and applied the slightest bit of pressure, pushing her towards Hogsmeade. She stepped sideways clumsily, her legs feeling slightly wobbly, until she was out of his reach."

One of the most realistic things I've ever read on fanfiction. Honestly, no one is perfect and graceful all the time, so I commend you for showing how anyone can trip.

Your characterizations are just wonderful.

And a jealous James was just way too adorable.

I'm glad you're making Lily nice, for the most part. She's just too much of an ice queen in so many fics, and the fact that you've made her real pleases me.

She's nice and kind, but believably so, and she's stubborn. In too many fics she's either perfect with absolutely no flaws at all, except her inexplicable dislike for James, or she's a complete witch (no pun intended) to everyone but her close friends. So I'm glad she's real! I finally like Lily Evans in a fanfiction! (:

10/10!

Author's Response: You've got me thrilled again with the realistic compliment! Thank you so much. :) I think one of the funny things about fiction vs. real life is that the latter is so awfully (and sometimes hilariously) awkward, but you don't see much of that awkwardness in the former. Or if you do, it's a sort of purposeful awkwardness that a character feels only when any other reasonable human would too. Again, I think I'm a really weird author because sometimes I get the urge to write about things like unpleasant kisses or tripping and falling--moments you'd look back on and cringe about--because they happen so often in everyday life.

I'm so glad you like Lily's characterization--I definitely agree that she is way too mean in a lot of cases, especially since we hear from every other person in the books how kindhearted she was...and seriously, I can't imagine her being best friends with Snape if she was an "ice queen", as you put it. I think she was probably too kind for her own good at times, actually. I'm so pleased that you like her, especially if you usually don't find her appealing in most other fan fictions!

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #15, by Leigh Kelley 

30th October 2009:
The James in your story seems a bit more mature, which he should be. He isn't constantly asking her to go out with him, though he does want her to. The little things work more effectively with girls, and I am sure she appreciated him taking over that chore for her. Filch seemed his usual paranoid and desperate self; honestly, thinking the girl was sneaking into Hogsmeade because he thinks her name is different than what it really is, does seem like a Filch thing to do.

I think I enjoy James' POV more than Lily's. Getting to pick each of their brains is nice, since I like knowing how their thoughts vary depending on the situation, but...I do enjoy the voice you've given James much more. I guess I just like the male's perspective, so ignore me.

Nice that you included Bellatrix in this. Her part was short, but you have her spot on. She's always been a bit unstable, but not some people portray her as the whacko Azkaban transformed her into before she even ended up in there. So good job there, especially her being unconcerned about being outnumbered, but just casually flinging the word 'mudblood' at Lily and walking away, as if daring to be cursed. I do wonder what was going on behind the Shack.

Lily does seem a bit...foolhardy, having gone after them like that. Reminds me of Harry again, which isn't a bad thing :).

Another lovely chapter. On to the next one.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I think part of James' maturation was probably realizing that pestering someone was not the way into their heart. :P Saving them from Filch, on the other hand...well, who wouldn't fall in love with someone because of that? Haha. Oh, Filch. He's so ridiculous, isn't he? He's really taking his security responsibilities seriously, and taking them too far, at that.

That's really cool to hear that you enjoy James' POV more, because, as I said, he's been hard for me to write, especially because it's a male's perspective and I'm female! (Although, since this is Harry Potter fan fiction, I suppose I really can't use that as an excuse.)

And thank you for your comments on Bellatrix, because I'm completely in agreement that people portray her overly bonkers when she shouldn't be. I think she had a major superiority complex, and the combination of being a Death Eater and especially being in Azkaban really pushed that into mental instability. Lily was a bit silly for going after them, but I think this was a good moment in that it shows her courage. Mary and Anna are pretty anxious about it, but Lily doesn't really see what there is to be worried about, which I think speaks volumes about her. And as for what was going on, that will resurface later on, although I'm not sure the chapter will be up before you finish reading!

I'm off to respond to the next review! Thanks for this one!


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Review #16, by Harry and Ginny 

3rd October 2009:
again, time and school made my reviewing impossible, plus i'm using my laptop and the internet is slow but anyway, thi chapter was fantastic so please, keep writing more fantastic chapters like this one.^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time out to review! I know things can get super-crazy with school, so it means a lot!

I'm glad I you liked the chapter--I think this is one of my favourites so far. :)

Thanks again!


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Review #17, by Jimmette 

25th September 2009:
well, this story has quickly become my absolute favourite fanfic!
The plot is really engaging and I usually get bored with extra characters but I really like your use of Anna and Mary.
And I really love your character dialogue and interactions, especially between Lily and James.
I think you've captured all of their characters very realistically :)

Please update soon!

Author's Response: Wow! Your absolute favourite? That's great!

I'm so glad to hear that the original characters are not terrible (well, I suppose Mary's not technically original, though). I was afraid of them being not so great, especially Anna, for some reason. Even better that the other characters are realistic--it's so difficult to write them at times! It's encouraging to hear your compliments.

I will update soon! (I put the next chapter in the queue yesterday.) I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and thanks so much for reviewing!


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