Reading Reviews for Irrational, Chapter 1: Monday
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magnolia_magic 

18th July 2013:
Hi! I'm not sure if you're planning to update this, but I wanted to stop by and show my appreciation for this awesome story! Percy/Audrey is one of my favorite pairings, and your Audrey is my favorite that I've ever read on this site.

I like her from the very beginning of this chapter. You've made her soft-spoken and even-tempered, and maybe a little lost when it comes to a firm direction in life. I think that's so relatable; Audrey really resonates with me because of that, and I'm sure many of your other readers feel the same way. I was so excited for her when she got offered a promotion. Finally she's getting a change of scenery!

I really love your supporting characters too. You have a real gift for dialogue, I think; you flesh your characters out so well with just a few phrases. Vivian is a perfect example; I can already tell she's a good compliment to Audrey's unassuming personality, and that she'll bring her sister out of her shell a bit. And I just love their dad! He seems so cheerful and loving, just what a great dad ought to be.

Wonderful first chapter! I really do love this story :)

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Review #2, by Alena MacLean 

13th March 2013:
Wow, I'm really impressed with the way that this story reads and the realistic-ness of it. It's wonderful and really builds Audrey's character beautifully.

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Review #3, by Dark Whisper 

4th February 2013:

Well, you have really painted a great picture of Audrey in this wonderfully written first chapter.

Mr. Cornwall reminds me of my former boss that I could not stand. Moira is wonderful. Where was she when I needed her? :)

Her dad sounds really lovely and I really enjoyed your magical element... the color changing roses and the feelings that you gave them. Very creative.

Dark Whisper

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Review #4, by Fidelio 

3rd January 2012:
Beautiful writing, Beautiful poise. Very soft, enchanting, like putting on a fine linen gown. The prose makes me very comfortable, and totally reflects the main character.

My eyes didn't gobble up the words like they did with 'Pride and Prejudice,' but I feel you capture very much a modern version of Austen's famous style.


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Review #5, by Owlpost68 

27th November 2011:
Aww I love this story, she's so close with her family and certain people from work, it's nice to see :) I love the idea of cross breeding plants :) it makes it fun to imagine, and different than your normal image of things we describe all the time. Great job! :)

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Review #6, by Ellyn Rose 

23rd October 2011:
your characterization is really excellent. so real. off for more!

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Review #7, by Pixileanin 

20th August 2010:
Hey. I've been reading this story for while now and just realized that I haven't reviewed anything. Bad me. But I wanted to let you know that I am thoroughly enjoying the story and this Audrey lady, who is so sweet. I'm loving that you are giving Percy the deserved attention that he seems to lack around here.

Lovely piece!

Author's Response: Hey! I apologize it's taken me awhile to respond to your reviews! I really appreciate all of the reviews, and I am so glad you're enjoying the story so much. You're right, Percy doesn't get much attention. While sad, it is also refreshing to write a character who hasn't been done to death yet, you know? ^_^

Thanks again!


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Review #8, by FannyPrice 

10th July 2010:
Aww Melanie!

I love this! No Percy yet, but Audrey is a doll and kind of the person I expected her to be. I like mild manners and how quiet she is, and her relationship with her family. The rosebush was a really nice touch.

Her dad is probably my favorite so far. His character is so distinctive that his speech really comes to life.

Great start! Moving on to the next...

Author's Response: Thanks for the review(s) Miranda!

I really wanted to establish her before bringing him into it - give the reader an idea of who she is without him, you know?

I'm very fond of Audrey's dad - I have a lot of fun writing him. Parts of him are based on my dad, but my dad is way more irritating. XD


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Review #9, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme 

7th November 2009:
I completely agree with the Percy = love thing. There are NOT enough Percy stories out there. I am scared to admit that he's possibly my favourite Weasley child.

I have read this before but was not paying anywhere near enough attention because the only bit I remember was that Audrey's dad liked plants!

I really like how you've written her. Already I can see that she's just Percy's type. In my ancient (and never-going-to-be-published) attempt at Percy/Audrey, she was far too outgoing and bright. Yours has something that just goes 'click' for me. Hidden depths, I think.

I really like her relationships with all the characters. Her home life is evidently normal, and I really like how you wrote her relationship with her dad - it kind of reminds me of me and my own father.
Her sister has something about her that also makes her instantly likeable. Usually the outgoing older sister causes some kind of conflict but to see the closeness of the two is really heartwarming.

I think I'd be in Mr Cornwell's book of idiots for the exact same reason as he doesn't like Audrey. Again, strangely I didn't dislike him just because he's the kind of person that is completely believable. People ARE like that and I love how you capture that in your writing.

I think as a first chapter, this is sensational. Audrey has been established brilliantly and, after a few chapters, I'm sure I'll be unable to see her any differently.

Completely brilliant (but I expected no less)

Author's Response: Hello, Rachelle!

It's ridiculously wrong of me to take so long to respond to the wonderful reviews you left for this story for the review exchange. I plan to PM you with my profuse apologies. :-P

I was happy to hear that you think my Audrey works well for Percy. I always liked your Audrey, too, in CIAW. Audrey's a fascinating character, because 1) she's a totally blank slate and 2) she married Percy. So when writing her you get to have a ton of fun figuring out exactly what woman in her right mind (aside from Melanie and Rachelle, apparently!) would fall in love with Percy? I've always disliked the idea of Audrey being an exact replica of Percy. I felt he needed someone a bit softer and more nurturing.

Mr. Cornwell is definitely based off of a few supervisors I've had in my own work environments. So sad, really, that sometimes you have to be a jerk in order to get respect!

Thank you so much, Rachelle! You leave amazing reviews!


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Review #10, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl 

16th October 2009:
Hey there, Melanie =]

I figured since I finally have a little free time on my hands (and I'm not going to write my own stories of course, why would I ever do that?) I would start this story. There are so many stories that I've "been meaning to read" and I know I say it all the time. But I do mean it. So here I am.

I really liked this first chapter, although I was hoping to meet Percy. But at least there are two more chapters up! Like I always say, I absolutely adore your writing style. Although it is a bit weird to read your writing without the hilariousness of The Morning Waffle ;)

Great job so far, my dear!


Author's Response: Hahaha...writing is overrated. :-P Otherwise I would have updated this stupid thing by now (I don't think I've posted anything in about a month!)

I also have an ever-growing list of stories I intend to now, I think the list is long enough to circle the moon twice. *sigh*

I intentionally didn't introduce Percy in the first chapter, because I wanted to sort of give you a feel for Audrey first, and not rush the romance or anything. But I am glad you enjoyed it (even though, yes, it is nowhere near as humor-filled as TMW...a bit of a change of pace, right?)

Thank you so much, Alex!


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Review #11, by Eridanus 

13th September 2009:
Melanie, I have already told you that I love this, but SQUE! I more than love it. I ADORE IT.

Your Audrey is such a wonderful character, well-rounded, likable and measured in the sort of way that you can see Percy's wife being. Some people make Audrey into some sort of beast (probably because they don't like Percy), but I don't think I can quite emphasise how utterly perfect Audrey is here.

I also really like Audrey's family. Vivian seems to be a lot of fun and I adore how close she and Audrey are. Also, I HAVE to mention how much I laughed when Audrey covered her eyes when faced with the half naked, totally gorgeous man. She in AMAZINGLY WONDERFULLY PERFECT. Her Dad is so extremely sweet and I thought the rosebush and the whole section on plants was a stroke of genius.

You have this innate ability to blend what we already know about HP and all the little details into fan fiction. It adds so much plausibility to your work and makes me insanely jealous. You are unbelievably talented, Melanie.

I'm so excited that she's getting a transfer XDDD. She's just so nice that I feel like I am rooting for her in everything she does. The receptionist at her work was so nice and really amusing as well, and her boss was a rude git, but we're getting rid of him :P. He was a great character anyway!

I don't really have anything more to say, there is no way that your writing can possibly be criticised, in my opinion. I am actually in love with it. I am a squeeing fan girl from hell XD.

I cannot wait to read on! 10/10 ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jane! *blush*

Audrey is an interesting challenge to write because I see her as so incredibly normal and benign. I never really saw Percy marrying someone with an extreme personality, like someone just as uptight as he is, or someone who's his exact opposite and has a devil-may-care attitude. I like thinking of Audrey as someone who's responsible, but also excessively kind. The thing is, it makes her tough to write in an interesting way, so I'm always relieved to hear that she's actually appealing to readers! ^_^

Im also really glad you liked the interaction between Audrey and Michael -- it seems like you got exactly what I was going for there, which is how wonderfully innocent and proper she is. *squishes Audrey* And her family is a blast to write, especially Vivian.

Bahahaha, Sheldon Cornwell. Dear, dear Sheldon. What a rude git, indeed! Characters like him are fun to write.

I'm glad you're rooting for Audrey! The next chapter is all about her first day at her new assignment -- I'll be so eager to hear your thoughts on that!

Thanks so much for all of the wonderful compliments. I am seriously flattered, and I'm really glad you're enjoying this so far.

Thanks a million, Jane!


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Review #12, by Margravine 

6th September 2009:
You got my attention simply by putting Hugh Dancy up :)
Percy is a bit neglected... I think I'll definitely stick around and see where this is going :)

Author's Response: He is definitely neglected! It's really too bad, he's quite an interesting character.

Glad you're liking the story so far (and the banner!)

Thanks for the review. :-)

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Review #13, by elladora 

4th September 2009:
I rather like it. I'm glad you don't view Audrey as a coldhearted bitch

Author's Response: Heehee, no I certainly do not. :-)

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #14, by blithering_humdinger 

4th September 2009:
So far pretty good, I have never read any Percy/Audrey so I am pretty open minded to how the whole story pans out so I hope it will be good!

Author's Response: I also hope it will be good...LOL. One can never be too sure. ^_^

I would be delighted to hear your thoughts on future chapters. Audrey's character is a bit of an interesting experiment for me.

Thank you for the review!!

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Review #15, by Violet Gryfindor 

28th August 2009:
Aww, that rose bush is so cute! It reminds me a bit of Neville's pet plant in how it reacts to people so sensitively (though real plants do it too, just less noticeably). It's so imaginative though, and it's made me fall even more in love with this story. :D

Your Audrey is a fantastic character. She fits right into the Potterverse, like she's always been there, waiting for Percy to find her. She's also very realistic and well-developed already. I have a solid feel for how she is and how she'll act and react toward things. When I got to this paragraph:

Monday. I didnít detest Monday like a lot of people did. I didnít love it, either. No, Monday and I had a calm, mutual understanding that bordered on indifference. Monday understood that I had to have a respectable job, and I understood that Monday was necessary in order to do it.

I knew she'd be perfect for Percy. Not that she's stuffy or pretentious, but she sounds very practical and level-headed, just the sort of girl I can imagine Percy marrying. She isn't "very" of anything, just a normal person, and that's why I like how you've written her. :D

It's really not fair how good you are at writing. You can do humour so well, and now this story - it's not humour, yet there are funny aspects to it. It's not a drama either, or sweepingly emotional, and that also suits Percy very well. :P The writing is excellent and I'm glad I've already added it to my favourites (did so the moment I saw it on the recently added - couldn't resist). I'm looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Oh, wow, Susan, you have no idea how happy I am to see a review from you! I really admire your writing, so this has just made my day.

I'm especially happy to read your comments on Audrey's character -- based on what you said, she seems to be coming off the way I wanted her to, and that's a huge relief to me. Audrey is a nice, normal person, which is actually very daunting to write, because I worry she won't be attractive to readers -- you know, she's not a snappy character or a really powerful presence like a lot of MC narrators are. She's benign. But I wouldn't change her for the world because I also think that's what Percy needs.

I like how you put it in your review: "she's always been there, waiting for Percy to find her." That's exactly how I pictured it, so I'm glad I could convey that message.

Your review has really motivated me, so thank you again for taking the time to comment on the beginning of what I hope will be an engaging story!

PS -- It's really not fair how good YOU are at writing! Hahaha. ^_^ Maybe someday I'll write half as well as you do!

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Review #16, by californialove 

27th August 2009:
Hey kiddo! I'm here with a review for you via Aparecium!!!

I love new stories. They're so exciting. And nerve-wrecking. And filled with anticipation.

I think you are almost taking a trip outside the box with this one. Audrey/Percy stories are very hard to come by mostly because of Percy, but I'm glad you make up another percentage of the Percy lovers. It's people like you who write really good stories about underrated characters and make them cool and loved and awesome.

Characters: I love Audrey so far. I think the main thing when it comes to Audrey is that we have to wonder what she was like to marry someone like Percy. However, I feel that some people don't take into consideration what happened to Percy, (Fred's death anyone?), so they kinda think that he's this cold marble statue of a person who like is still a total buzz kill. I'm going off on a tangent here, considering how Percy wasn't even mentioned in this chapter. But back to my point, I felt that the way you've designed Audrey so far is kinda what I expect Percy to marry. A really chill down to Earth kinda girl. And she doesn't even come across as a really smart and ambitious girl. That down to earth persona, I find attractive in all kinds of people. She even said she doesn't even know what she wants to do with her life. She's just letting the wind take her wherever. That I feel will be an interesting mixture once Percy rolls along.

Pace: Everything is going at a nice perfect steady pace. I like how it's from Audrey's P.O.V. so we can finally understand what she sees in Percy. But in addition, I like how Percy wasn't even in this chapter! I can tell that you don't want to rush things and make it obvious on how fast you want the romance to start.

Tone: Along with Audrey's personality, you gave the story a really down to earth tone. Like I almost feeling like chilling out and doing whatever and see where fate takes me. (Probably won't happen.) You've set up the story with that nice romance story way. I can't really explain it, but the story being told from Audrey's POV makes a huge impact on the reader. I think at least.

Right, okay, I think I'm getting repetitive now, so I'm going to leave.



Author's Response: Thanks for the long and wonderful review! I get what you mean about the outside the box thing -- not only because Percy/Audrey isn't often written, but also because it's a little different from what I usually write.

I'm glad to get your perspective on Audrey. On the one hand, it wasn't exactly what I was going for...but don't get me wrong, because on the other hand, I'm thrilled that you like her! I didn't really envision her as a free-spirit kind of person -- really, she's just quiet and shy and hardworking, but she's having a life crisis in her job because she's only working for the Ministry since that's what she figured she should do, have a respectable job and everything.

But I do think you're right in describing her as chill -- I mean, she gets along well with almost everyone, and she rarely gets upset (the flip side of this is that she's nice to a fault, and she's pretty passive).

I'm also glad you thought it was cool that Percy hasn't been introduced yet. I hoped that wouldn't turn anyone off -- I just didn't want to get things started so quickly...sort of let them develop slowly.

Hahaha, opening line dilemma...what to do, what to do. I talked to my beta about it, and she pointed out it's a bit cliche, and I can definitely see that. I also feel like it's bland, and honestly I wrote it that way because I didn't have any better ideas (such a bad reason...!) But I definitely appreciate your comments and will take your thoughts into consideration!

Thanks again for the great review!

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Review #17, by Amaranta 

27th August 2009:
I think this has to be one of my favourite versions of Audrey - Six impossible things by Realmer06 was the first Percy/Audrey I read, where she's a muggle - because she's sush a quiet and beautiful character. I love her :)

And the way you's very descriptive and it makes you want to keep your attention in it!

About Audrey's family, her dad is THE dad, don't you think? He's caring and loving and his fascination with herbology and muggle gardening reminds me of Mr. Weasley. In an odd way xD

I'm so excited about Percy! I can't wait to read the next chapter, because I think this is one of my favourite stories :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm so relieved to hear that you like it so far -- it's definitely not written in the same "Wow! Bam!" way that a lot of fics are. But I really am glad to hear that you like Audrey so far, and that this chapter kept your attention.

Her dad is definitely THE dad! He's so much fun to write, and I love him as a character.

Thank you again! I hope you enjoy future chapters!

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Review #18, by TheDirigiblePlum 

23rd August 2009:
I just adore the way you write! It's narrative and descriptive but with a little hidden "je ne sais quoi (french!:D haha sorry)" that I love. The dialogue is also really realistic, like when I read it, I forget that you've actually written it... if you get my drift? :) It's like you've listened to what a character has said, and then written it down rather than the other way round.

Sorry if I make no sense!

I love London and Derbyshire, so it's nice to see them both here! I live quite close to London actually. :) Also I can sort of relate to Audrey... she reminds me of myself a little bit, but I can't tell just yet! So I'm looking forward to reading more about her, and I'm also looking forward to Percy coming in, because I always quite liked Percy! I thought he was funny.

Her Dad is very sweet, and his flowers are very imaginative. Very JK Rowling, because I always admire the little magical touches she puts into her stories, and I feel you've done the same in this one, like little phrases such as " developmentally delayed flobberworm." Hilarious!

This is probably my longest review ever, so I'll stop before I become too boring. :)

But I'll just say that this is probably the best chapter I've read of yours - I love them all - but this one has a really nice feel to it, and I can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate the comments about the dialogue, especially since I think I lean rather heavily on dialogue.

Your reviews are never boring, and they always make me really happy!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter so much! I plan to make a few edits, I think, and then get to work on the second chapter.


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Review #19, by SnitchSnatcher 

22nd August 2009:
I've got two words for you, Melanie = LOVE IT. Seriously, this is great. I love, love, LOVE your characterisation of Audrey - she's darn, I don't know the right word for her, but I like her so far. Her POV is very interesting to read and, of course, funny. I can't tell you how many times I snorted unattractively at this and drew the stares of my roommate. Not that it's all that bad of a thing!

I'm interested to see what you're going to do with Percy and how he's going to be in this. Is he going to be stereotypical Percy with the glasses and Holier-Than-Thou attitude or will the war have changed him? I really hope it's the latter, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Lordy, I'm super excited for this fic as well as your others - I love everything you write! Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! Your reviews make me really happy. So I'm really glad to hear that you also like this story, AND that you like Audrey, because I'm pretty nervous about writing her. She just so gosh darn nice, and a bit of a pushover, and, well...she's no Freddie Weasley, let's just say that. So this will be an interesting experiment in figuring out whether the "nice" character can be engaging and interesting to readers.

Glad you also found it funny. She definitely has a sense of humor, although much quieter and more understated than many of my other characters.

I'll be interested to know your thoughts on Percy once he enters the scene. I can't really say anything about him right now, because I don't want to spoil it, but...well, just keep an open mind and an open heart for him, ok? Because sometimes he's a jerk. I'm not gonna lie. But I love him, and my goal by the end of this story is to give my readers a reason to love him, too. :-)

Thanks for the review! Brought a big smile to my face!

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Review #20, by momotwins 

21st August 2009:
I really enjoyed this, I thought it was a wonderful start. I like Audrey very much, I think she's just what Percy needs without being so different as to be someone he would never want, if that makes sense. I love the names you've chosen, especially since you named a character my mother's name (Moira!), and as always your characterization is great. You have a knack for instantly relatable characters. I really like Audrey's dad, and her sister. Can't wait to see how you handle Percy. More people need to write about him. I tried it once for the Defining Moments collaboration and keep meaning to go back and give him another go.

One of my favorite things about your writing, and part of what I think makes it so good, is that you really set the story in the magic. The magical world is really woven in naturally and so perfectly done, and a lot of stories I read it either feels tacked on or that it's not there at all. I think you really capture it well, your stories really live in the wizarding world.

Author's Response: I always get so happy when I see a review from you! Especially for this story -- since you're such a good romance writer (Unsinkable!!), I'll be eager to hear your feedback. :-) This story is a little off the beaten path for me, too, since my main character is not as most of my MC's in my other fics.

I think it's awesome that I unknowingly chose your mom's name for one of my characters! I've just always thought Moira was one of the prettiest names ever, and it sort of fit the character.

Thanks for the comments on the characterization, too. Audrey is definitely going to be a challenge for me, because she's so subdued...but as you can see, I really dug my claws into the more outgoing and kitschy characters (her dad, sister, Sheldon Cornwell...)

Thanks for the review!

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Review #21, by erikthephantom 

21st August 2009:
"Mr. Cornwell, like so many other people, assumed that someone without a forceful personality must have a level of intelligence equal to that of a developmentally delayed flobberworm."

This is possibly one of my favorite lines from any fic I've read. I love your writing style, and I hope that the next chapter is finished/posted soon. I can't wait to read it!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and I'm really glad you liked that line! I promise to get the next chapter posted as soon as possible. :-)

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Review #22, by Jellyman 

21st August 2009:
Am second reviewer, but that's okay, yeah? I had an exam. I apologise :P

Audrey is such a beautiful, placid character. I just love her. More often than not, authors tend to have extroverted, confident, ambitious and outspoken characters as their protagonists (as I am sure you have noticed), but to have one so gentle and quiet as Audrey, it's so refreshing! I really do love her, she's so sweet and innocent - she's a character you want to like, I don't know, hug and protect, and I really applaud you and creating such a feeling within just the first chapter! Great job :D

Monday understood that I had to have a respectable job, and I understood that Monday was necessary in order to do it.
I just adored this line. It was funny in a light sort of way - it made me smile :)

Did I tell you I think the rosebush idea was perhaps the cutest thing I have ever read about? I just love Audrey's dad - he is (and this is going to sound obvious and strange) such a dad. Like, I would know he was a father just from reading his dialogue. Okay, so maybe I can't get my point across 100% clearly, but I hope you get the picture :)

Wonderful chapter! This was such a good introduction to some of the major characters (Percy to come yet - I'm excited to see what he'll be like!) and I really loved it. I think it is a great start to what should be a brilliant story :D


Author's Response: I hope your exam went well! And really, you're sort of like the first reviewer, because you gave me your thoughts on this before I even posted it. :-)

I'm really glad to hear you like Audrey's character. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that other readers will like her, too. I think it's sometimes more fun to read the extroverted main characters, but let's face it: not everyone is like that. And I think the quieter, shy types deserve to have their stories told, too!

Hmm, have I ever written an extroverted, confident, ambitious, outspoken character? *coughFREDWEASLEYIIcoughcough* Oh, excuse me, I think I had something stuck in my throat for a minute... :-P

I'm glad you pointed out that line, too. I'd like Audrey to be somewhat funny, but in her own understated way.

You're right -- Audrey's dad IS such a dad. I got exactly what you meant by that, and I'm glad he came across that way to you. He's a super cool guy. I mean, at the risk of proclaiming one of my own characters to be a Gary-Stu, I really envision Audrey's dad as the perfect dad, in his own way. And I also appreciate the comment about the rosebush -- I wasn't 100% sure about it at first, but I started liking it more and more.

Thank you thank you thank you for your review! And thank you for helping me get this idea and this story off the ground!

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Review #23, by etiquettedarling 

21st August 2009:
Hey! So, first review (I feel somewhat satisfied and a little bit like a stalker but none the less...)

I think the thing that stood out is how (ironically enough) real it seemed. The characters living situation, family and personality all just felt right as I was reading it (I particularly liked her dad's whole story, original but not to such a degree that it was unbelievable).

Along that note I liked the little back stories that popped up about her sister and her dad, they gave the whole thing depth and because the story isn't one of your jam packed with humour ones they weren't completely out of the blue irrelevant information drops (not saying you've done that in any of your stories particularly but other authors tend to do it).

I can't wait until the next instalment! 9/10!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! It's ok that you stalked my page, because I felt seriously happy when I saw I had received a review so quickly!

I'm glad to hear your comments on the realness of this story. I hope to be able to achieve that throughout -- like it's something that could actually happen, to this character or anyone else. So thank you!

I get what you're saying about irrelevant info. I believe I am guilty of that in some of my fics, although you're right, it won't really infiltrate this story because Audrey is not really one to inject irrelevancies into her narrative. :-)

Thanks again for taking the time to review!

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