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25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DancingMooncalf 

13th January 2013:
After 3 chapters of a story I almost always know if the story is something I want to read entirely or not. You could say it takes me 3 chapters to get hooked. And I got hooked halfway through the first chapter and by the second chapter I was all in it!

I love how you write it so netural. It's like it would really be this way. It's not overly dramatic or unrealistic.

You really have a talent so keep up the good work.

x

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so flattered that you enjoyed the story that much. (Makes me feel terrible for not having finished the sequel, and for leaving your review unanswered for so long!)

I personally don't really like over-the-top drama, at least most of the time, so I tend to avoid writing it. I'm glad you like that, and don't find it boring, which I'm sure many readers would!

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #2, by StEpH_M 

29th October 2012:
The fact that Lily isn't exactly overjoyed about being Head Girl is really good, I never thought of the Head positions being just a badly looked upon position, it's not something you would expect, when adults in the Harry Potter series talked of Head Boy and Girl it was with admiration and always saying they are proud if their child gets it. You never think that it actually might be some burden and people will hate you for it.

I like that Lily is sort of playing with James, the way she playfully hits him when he made a joke instead of yell at him. I also think the fact that she helps him with his head boy jobs is nice, even if she does lay all the club tasks on him, probably to get back at him for something. It that was really amusing actually, watching as James whined and Lily stood tall as she made him do all the club applications and she went off to work on her school work.

I also liked that you brought Anna and Mary into it again, even if it was for a little bit at least there was a little insight into her relationships with her friends and her personality.

There wasn't any issues of with flow or any gramma issues that I could see in this chapter, it was really well written and I enjoyed reading it. I really good chapter and I look forward to reading more as I go through your 2 Anniversary gift reviews. :)

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Review #3, by starryskies55 

11th September 2012:
Oh dear lord! I'd kind of gone off Lily/James and the whole marauders era in general since I tried one (disastrous) and I read far too many (cliche) but this... this is like water in a desert. I sound like a cliche marauder fic now. YOU ARE MY SIRIUS BLACK.

*cough* Anyway. I love the defined characters, the witty dialogue, the brilliant scenes- JAMES CLEARED THE OFFICE- that's true love, right? :P And now they're calling each other by their first names... it's slow and steady, and so believable and just brilliant.

of course, you've slotted in the growing warning about old mouldy Voldy really neatly, as well as the reminders of James/Lily romance :P

I can't wait to read the Slug Club party! You're a brilliant writer. Sorry this was only quick, I'm going out.. about four minutes ago!

Author's Response: I'm your Sirius Black?! :D I'd better get working on perfecting my attractive, angsty stares and casual charm...

In all seriousness, I'm so happy to hear that I've managed to overcome your feelings about James/Lily and Marauders Era for you. I completely know what you mean; it can take a lot of sifting through to find something that you really like. There really is so much potential for a good story, though, I think!

I really tried to make their relationship progress at a steady rate--or if not entirely steady at times, at least believable still. There's a lot of history to overcome, you know? I felt like that wouldn't just go away in a week. I guess it might be torturous at times, but...I like to think it's worth it. :P

And yes, there's always Voldy. He does cause a lot of trouble for James and Lily, unfortunately. I feel like one of the great parts about the HP books was the fact that you knew there was danger going on outside, so I've tried to carry that through into this story.

Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! And no rush on reviewing; the story isn't going anywhere. :P


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Review #4, by StormThief17 

25th May 2012:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't James play seeker? Just a canon thing I noticed so it's not a big deal or anything! I really enjoyed this chapter overall. Thank you!

Author's Response: Actually, James is a Chaser, but the movies wrongly portray him as a Seeker, probably to create more of a sentimental father-son connection between him and Harry. Thanks for your attentiveness, and for the review, though! :)

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Review #5, by harrypottergurl11 

15th January 2012:
the only problem i've seen is that u put chaser instead of seeker. from what i've read here on hpff on head boy/girl thing is what your doing. they also schedule hogsmade trips and design the dances and stuff. other than that i think its great keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review. :) Actually, the idea that James was a Seeker and not a Chaser is a common misconception from the movies, which showed him as a Seeker. If you look up the info, JKR has clearly stated that James was a Chaser.

I'm glad you liked the story, and thanks again!


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Review #6, by classicblack 

10th December 2011:
Ah Sirius, he always manages to lighten up a chapter.
I think you've done a rather good job of portraying the Head Girl/Boy aspect of this story and you've made it such a big part of the plot, which I haven't seen a lot.
Nicely done chapter!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the Head Boy & Girl stuff. It seemed to me like it was never fleshed-out very well in stories--people were always just on patrols or sharing a dorm, neither of which seem all that plausible to me. So, I tried to come up with something different. :)

Thanks again!


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Review #7, by AngelEyez3954 

30th September 2011:
Hello again :)

I found James and Lily's interaction at the beginning of this chapter to be interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about their characterizations - since we really don't know a ton about them, it is definitely up for interpretation - however, I find Lily's ambivalence towards being Head Girl a little strange. On the flip side, I really thought James setting up the office was really sweet - a nice gesture towards Lily without being completely over the top.

I found this chapter a little slow moving at times; for example, I am not quite convinced that the Quidditch try-outs were needed. However, once again the interaction between Lily and James is really sweet and realistic. I like the role you've laid out for the Head Boy and Head Girl; it's believable, but not cliche (thank you for not having them share a dorm!!).

I can't wait to read more!!!

Author's Response: You know, I think if I were writing this story all over again, I probably would have changed Lily's attitude about the Head Girl thing just a bit. I still think she wouldn't have been ecstatic about it--that comes off as being too Hermione-like for me, and I don't really think of Lily as being like Hermione--but I probably would have toned it down a bit, because it comes off sounding false or something like that. I guess we all have parts of our stories that we look back on and wonder what exactly we were thinking. :P

Haha, you're very welcome on the shared-dorm thing. That just doesn't make sense to me on many levels.

Thanks again for the review; I appreciate the feedback!


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Review #8, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
Ooh, I love how you write James. He's just so brilliant. He's growing up and becoming the man who will eventually sacrifice his life for his wife and child and you can see that starting to blossom here. He's taking up a leadership mantle and stepping up in a war that wasn't supposed to have happened.

I also like your take on how the Head Girl and Head boy positions are viewed - never thought of it that way before, but it now makes complete sense.

Oh, and I love Anna.

Author's Response: You love Anna? So do I! People always used to review saying that they couldn't stand Anna, which was (and is) actually one of the main reasons why I love her. :D I actually used to write a James/Lily story YEARS ago, and in it, Lily's best friend was named Anna, and when I started this story, I kind of transplanted her and made a lot of changes...but I've been writing about Anna for a long time, really, so I'm pretty attached.

I didn't really know how to handle the Head Boy and Girl thing, to be honest. I knew that they existed in some schools in the UK, so I tried to look it up online, but I found next to nothing about what Head Boys and Girls do. What little I did turn up found its way into this story. :) I figured I'd try something different from the regular staples, back when I was really anxious about being unique. :P

James was SO hard for me to get a handle on at first, so I'm glad he's a good character, even this early on in the story. I think one of his most distinctive qualities is definitely his leadership abilities, so I'm glad that came across.

Thank you again!


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Review #9, by HartOfARebel 

5th March 2011:
he's slowly but surely bringing her round ;) go james!

Author's Response: You just can't help but cheer James on, can you? I know I sure can't whenever I read James/Lily stories. :)

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #10, by doglover 

21st December 2010:
i like the spin on lily not really caring about being head girl

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked that little twist--I thought that she might be a bit disenchanted with the notion after having been prefect for a couple of years already. ;)

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Review #11, by AlPadfootPotter96 

16th December 2010:
I think the Head duties are really realistic - great chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm glad you thought their duties were realistic. It was a subject that proved very difficult to research on the internet for some reason, but I wanted to deviate a bit from the typical duties like patrolling and such.

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Review #12, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
Clara made me laugh; she was an enjoyable minor character, with how frivolous she seemed to be. I admire it.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked Clara--you know, I think you may be the only reviewer who mentioned here! (Though I could be forgetting someone.) I think minor characters are fun; some of them really jump into my head fully-formed.

Thank you!


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Review #13, by happy_person 

1st July 2010:
again, well done, i love how u are slowly developing lily's attraction to james, it makes it even more realistic that they would get together.

Author's Response: I really did want to make their relationship come together gradually. I read a lot of stories where it kind of--WHAM!--happened, and that didn't quite sit right with me. I'm glad you found that approach realistic, because being realistic is something very important to me. :)

Thanks again!


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Review #14, by Isannah 

15th June 2010:
Nice work. A little romanc woven in, but the humor had to make me laugh.

Author's Response: Thank you again! I'm so glad you're enjoying the mix of romance and humour in the early chapters!

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Review #15, by Sarah 

24th May 2010:
I love this! I have read over 20 James and Lily fanfics, and this has to be the best so far! Great Job!

Author's Response: Hi, Sarah! Thank you so, so much for reviewing. It's been a few days since anyone left a review for this story, and it's always nice to hear from new readers. :)

But, more to the point, I'm thrilled that this was the best out of the ones you'd read! :D That really makes me so happy to hear. I've put a lot of consideration and work into this story, and it's always great to hear that other people enjoy it.

Thank you again!


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Review #16, by jamespotter4eva 

1st May 2010:
isnt james the seeker
i was looking forward to it
anyway.
PLS DONT MAKE HIM CHASER!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for reviewing.

There's a bit of a misconception regarding James' Quidditch position. Though in the movies it's said that he was a Seeker, JK Rowling stated in an interview that he was a Chaser. Since I do like to stick to what she says as much as humanly possible, I have made him a Chaser.

Hopefully that one detail isn't enough to put you off the story! Chaser is an exciting position, after all. :)

Thanks again!


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Review #17, by padfoot4ever 

24th January 2010:
Hi! I really like this story I have to say. I know you're worried about cliches but I think sometimes you have to embrace the cliche! I think your writing is good enough to make it work. This story is refreshing in the wake of so many badly written marauder stories. I'm truly looking forward to Reading on. I'd write a longer review only I'm on my iPod and typing on it is highly annoying! Well done :)

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so glad you like the story, and I really appreciate the review!

You know, I was saying in another response, I should probably edit my notes in these early chapters so I don't seem so preoccupied with cliches! They're actually really not bad, especially if they're done well. I think I was really concerned with keeping things realistic and giving them a slightly original take, which is different than avoiding all cliches. As it is I think I sound slightly neurotic. :P

Based on that, I'm so happy you find the story refreshing! That just makes my day. And I'm so flattered that you think I'm a good writer, too. :)

And don't worry, I love reviews of all lengths! Thanks so much for giving me your feedback, and I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story too!


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Review #18, by RainbowVeins 

17th January 2010:
great going glad u didnt use the shared dorms idea the shared office way more realistic and i think ur definetly on the right track. kept it short this time :)

Author's Response: Ah yes, the shared Heads' dorms idea...I guess there's nothing explicitly saying it didn't happen, but personally I think the founders would have been too traditional to do that, just like they didn't want boys going into girls' dormitories. And it has been done SO many times, besides that. Either way, I'm glad you like the office idea...I thought it would make at least some sense for the Head Boy and Girl to have a few privileges like that one.

Thanks again!


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Review #19, by Somebody 

9th January 2010:
Whoever is writing this...EXCELLENT JOB! Your an awesome writer!

Author's Response: Hey...that's me! :P Thank you so much, what a lovely compliment, and thanks for stopping to leave me a review. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as you read along!

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Review #20, by melian 

22nd December 2009:
Well, I'm back! And apologies for it taking so long.

Now, you know the drill, inner critic stuff first. And first of all, in answer to your question at the previous review response, yes the spelling anomalies I noticed were "z" and "our", which stuck out a bit to me because like you said they're both US and UK spellings. But if you're Canadian then that would explain that, and I feel a bit stupid for picking it up in the first place.

And, you know, that was all I noticed in this chapter. And you know how nit-picky I can be. I can't guarantee I didn't miss anything, but I didn't see anything, so that's a good thing. :D

Right. Your story. Can I just say straight out that I loved this quote:
"She, Mary, and Anna had spent most of the time complaining about all the homework they had, rather than actually completing any of it."
This is so true! I can really relate. It brings me back to my final school years (no mean feat because they were a very long time ago now) in that I can remember doing just that. You've captured it really well.

I also liked the line James had about people looking to leaders. It reminded me of Neville in Deathly Hallows when he was standing up to the Carrows so the other students had someone to rally behind. I like the perceptive aspect of James - he's quite an endearing character when he's written well (and not asking Lily out every five seconds).

The relationship between your main two is actually progressing very well. I liked the banter with Peter and Sirius about clubs and I liked the way Lily got jealous of Clara flirting with James, even if Lily didn't realise it was jealousy (I'm guessing that's how you're managing this? I could be wrong though). You've got them calling each other by their first names, even if it is under sufferance, and you've got co-operation and negotiation. They're both trying and it makes them quite engaging as characters.

Oh, and the "lady doth protest too much" is a cliche in Lily/James stories? I hadn't realised that. I'll have to up the count in my story now to at least four cliches, because I used it too. Not to worry. It's hardly possible to avoid a cliche or two anyway - just about everything's been done before in one way or another. I like the way you're doing it, though, it feels fresh and original.

Off to the next chapter!

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks so much for reviewing, I do really appreciate hearing your thoughts.

I figured it had to be the "z" / "our" thing when it came to some of those UK spellings. Why must Canada be such a strange grammatical hybrid? Now I'm faced with the dilemma: go back and change, or not? And even further, do I continue from this point forward using the UK spellings? I'm a bit afraid that if I start writing with UK spelling I'll end up doing it in academic writing...hmmm...I'll have to give this one some thought, but thanks very much for pointing it out. It's good to have these sorts of things brought to your attention in reviews. I'm very glad that was the only technical issue that you noticed, though!

I'm so glad you can relate to that feeling of schooltime malaise--I definitely can, too! How many times I've done more complaining than work, I can't even count.

James is just such a natural leader in my mind, and you're right, it is reminiscent of Neville in Deathly Hallows. I'm glad you're liking the way I'm writing him, as well. When I first started out with this story, he just about drove me insane because I couldn't quite pin down his characterization properly.

I'm also so thrilled with all the compliments about the relationship between him and Lily. That's another thing that I worried a lot about as I was writing. And your comment that they're both "trying"--it's so true, even though I've never thought about it that way before. You're absolutely right, and I suppose that Lily's usually very reluctant in other stories (not trying to make myself sound visionary, or anything remotely close to it, of course).

I don't think that line is really THAT cliched, when you take into account all of the other cliches that are out there, so you certainly don't need to up your count. It could also be one of those old cliches that have actually gone out of use and are no longer really cliche--I just remember that everyone writing a Lily/James story years ago had it in their story. Besides, it's Shakespeare! Anyone who can put that line to use should get points for literary knowledge that cancel out any cliched-ness. :P But you're very right, cliches are impossible to avoid, and sometimes they're pretty fantastic. It is great, though, to hear that I'm managing to achieve some originality with a plot that's been done a thousand times over. :)

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #21, by pattybuns_hpf 

15th December 2009:
Hehe... Me again! x]

Anyway, I'm sort of geeting the idea of your plot, but it's still as vague as it could ever be in my mind. I have to be honest though, I didn't find this chapter in the brillinace level as the first two chappies. But I'm sure it'll get better.

So on to the next chappie! You know I'm getting the hang of reviewing to every chapter. I've never done it before. So this is a first for me! =]

-Patty

Author's Response: Hi again, Patty! That's so awesome that you're planning on reviewing every chapter. If you get tired of doing it at some point don't feel bad, though. :)

I kind of cringe when I think about these earlier chapters so I can completely understand why you might not be so into them. If I remember correctly, this chapter is also the shortest of them all--so it's quite possible that I didn't really know what to write, which could definitely result in it being not so exciting. I think it definitely does get better (I hope so!) as the story goes on.

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #22, by RocketBabyDoll9 

14th December 2009:
I liked this one a lot!

The whole 'call me by my first name' cliche is actually one I've always enjoyed, so I'm glad you put that in here.

The idea of them having an office to work in is fabulous! I hate the whole 'sharing a dorm' thing, that's just so overused.

I'm not British, but the Head Boy/Girl duties seemed pretty realistic to me!

And to answer your question, the Lily-James thing is heading in the right direction.

The Lily/James interactions were really well written. I like that you had a chapter of mainly them but you didn't make them yell or get in each other's face or almost kiss and all that jazz.

I also liked the Quidditch tryouts. In so many stories, Sirius is a beater. A fitting position for him, but nowhere in canon did it say he was on the team, and while it's believable and slightly expected of him to occasionally play Quidditch, I just don't see him being on the team. So kudos for that.

Kudos as well for getting James's position right. Too many people put him as seeker. That always bothers me.

Anyway, another awesome chapter! I would tell you to keep it up, but the chapters I'm about to read have already been posted, lol, so I know that you did indeed keep it up.

Author's Response: Yep, that was one cliche that I couldn't steer myself away from. :P The last-name-use is one thing in the scene from OotP that I actually think makes sense when you expand it beyond that situation--after all, how often do people just spontaneously start referring to each other by their last name? They must have done that regularly.

And as for Head Dorms--agh! All right, that's not fair of me, because I actually like quite a few stories that have them included. But really, I can't imagine that they're canon. I mean, the Founders put a charm on the girls' staircase because they didn't want boys getting up there, so I can't see why there would be a shared dormitory for the Head Boy and Girl, even if they're supposed to be more responsible. And completely besides that, why would James ever want to abandon the room he shares with his friends? (And no, I can't see him doing it just because of Lily, much as I think he cares about her.) I'm really glad you liked my alternative with the office, though! Sometimes I think it's a little cheesy, but oh well. :P

That's so nice to know that the interactions between James and Lily seem okay. Sometimes I feel like I make them too boring, but I just want them to be realistic above all else. So I try to avoid the melodrama that comes with the things you've mentioned--the yelling or almost kisses.

You know, I always thought that if Sirius had played Quidditch, he would have mentioned it to Harry at some point or another. And something about his personality makes me feel like he really wouldn't have been the team-sports type. I'm sure he would have played with James just for fun from time to time, though. And you know, I've been surprised that I haven't gotten a review yet from someone saying, "James was a SEEKER!" Silly movies, messing up the details in the books. :P

Thanks for the review!


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Review #23, by LoveBird 

18th November 2009:
lovely story, and chapter!
really hope you continue writing on it in the future.
- xox maria

Author's Response: Thanks, Maria! I'm so glad you like the story. I'm definitely going to continue writing it, and I hope you continue to enjoy it!

Thanks so much for the taking the time to review!


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Review #24, by Leigh Kelley 

30th October 2009:
James is definitely putting his best foot forward. Fixing up that room was nice of him, even if Lily didn't seem particularly grateful. I'm also glad that he is getting her more enthused about the idea of being Head Girl. She should enjoy it some; it only comes around once. Additionally, you're portraying him nicely. I like seeing a serious side to him. Being a prankster doesn't mean that he jokes every single minute of the day.

James and Lily's relationship is moving slowly, which I'm happy about. Even though there wasn't much said about it in the books, I am sure they didn't just start locking lips a few days into term. It would have taken Lily a bit more time to be sure that he has changed, and you're doing a good job of portraying that. Besides, I see her as the type who would be in denial about her feelings (when they develop) for a bit as it is.

Their tasks seem just about right. They'd have a bit more responsibility than the prefects do, so that's moving along well. I'm sure it's not all just patrolling, you know?

Okay, on to the next chapter.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I'm thrilled that you think James is characterized well, because that was honestly one of the hardest things for me to figure out. He definitely has a serious, more mature side, but then he does like to joke around as well, and it's really tough to balance it properly--I'm still not entirely sure that I've succeeded!

And as you know by now, I'm obsessed with making things as realistic as possible, so their relationship definitely falls into that category. They've got a lot of history that I think makes it pretty tough to fall into a friendship, let alone a romantic relationship.

And I think you're right about their responsibilities being more than patrolling. And to be frank, I'm really a bit confused as to where that tradition came from. I honestly can't remember when any of the prefects/heads in the books were put on patrols, although I could just be forgetting. Anyway, I wanted to come up with something a bit different than usual!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #25, by Harry and Ginny 

26th August 2009:
this chapter is fantastic and i liked how both of them are treating each other by their 1st name. that way, Lily's feelings will change and very slowly. so far, i'm enjoying reading this fic a lot!!! will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the chapter. It would have been up sooner, but I got my first rejection. :( At least it wasn't for anything really bad--my banner was too big by one pixel! Still, kind of discouraging. But "fantastic" is a word that makes me very happy. And yes, her feelings will change...slowly. I'll let you decide how much to read into that. Haha. By the way, you're an awesome reviewer...I've seen your reviews on SO many stories!

And I will update as soon as humanly possible...promise!


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