37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penny 

26th November 2012:
Enticed! Really enjoying it :) a quick review so I can carry on reading. Penny x

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the first chapters of the story. Like your name ;)

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Review #2, by StEpH_M 

29th October 2012:
I really like how James is actually trying to do a good job at being Head Boy even though he has no idea what he is doing. It's rather amusing. I also like how James's parts aren't completely orientated around marauders and the little stunts they pull, it's always good to have some of that, but constantly having it can sort of get a bit dragging so I am glad that James's parts are refreshing and involve other aspects of his Hogwarts life.

I also like that Lily and James are being civil towards each other and that even with James' teasing Lily is still trying to refrain from yelling at him. It's good and I prefer it to the cliche. Also, the fact that the story is more orientated around James and Lily's time together instead of the ways that James tries to ask her out is really good as well.

Again the flow was good and nothing really disrupted it, which again is really good for a story that changing P.O.V a few times in a chapter. Most stories just a little when they change P.O.V but yours doesn't. Just a few gramma related things; '"For homework, please research the ingredients of Veritaserum, and provide detailed explanations of their origins and properties. I would like at least twelve inches inches, due by next class. You are dismissed."' You doubled up on inches here.

I really look forward to reading more although I do hope there is a bit more of Lily interacting with her friends, since we have seen more of James' then hers. Her friends seem interesting so I hope to see more of them. I also look forward to the Slug Club party cause they have always been very amusing parties. :)

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad that you enjoyed all the parts you mentioned! It's exciting when someone else enjoys the version of the story that makes sense to me, too. :)

Thank you for pointing out that issue with the grammar--I just went and fixed it! I always appreciate it when people let me know what the issues are, because with the length of this story, I'm bound to miss things.

Thanks again!

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Review #3, by starryskies55 

11th September 2012:
[in reply to your author's note] I WANT TO READ MORE. err.. *cough*

Anyway, as I said in my last review, I love this so incredibly much. It's funny and brilliantly written and I'm very aware of the dangers of repeating myself too much in reviews :/

There is a mystery with Dearborn now, which is fanastic- I seem to remember a Dearborn too... Caradoc? Or something? I'll google it later.

The Potions class was great, and I loved the way Lily is great at purposefully annoying people - first Snape, and then James. I think the way you've done Lily/James is fantastic so far, and I really can't wait to read more! I'm going backwards here, but I also loved Sirius' arrogance with talking to Professor McGonagall and also his views on the previous Head Boys. Him being a rebel and arrogant is a cliche, but you write everything so well I kind of forget it is. It's brilliant, anyway. :D

Author's Response: YAY, YOU WANT TO READ MORE! :D

Hahaha, I won't get bothered by you repeating yourself in reviews, don't worry--especially if you don't mind how much I tend to repeat myself in responses! :P So glad you're still enjoying the story.

You may indeed find some details out there if you look up Caradoc Dearborn. ;)

I'm so glad you're like the dynamics between James and Lily thus far, since that's obviously the most important thing in the story, really. And Sirius! You know, I often feel like I have a hard time writing Sirius' lighter side, so I'm really happy that you think I've written him well.

See how I'm repeating myself? :P I'm just so happy to hear such wonderful feedback!

Thank you again!

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Review #4, by SiriuslyPeeved 

9th June 2012:
This was such a fun chapter to read, it had such a strong kinship with the books. I loved how James remembered his housemates by the pranks he'd pulled on them -- that would fit nicely! You've given a lively spin on Peter, James, and Sirius, as well as Lily. It was nice to see her enjoying the fruits of being Slughorn's pet a little bit by goofing off in class -- you've taken off the intensely perfect "head girl" image that Lily can sometimes reflect. You've added a sense of urgency with Trevor not coming to school and the DADA professor being a dip -- I've wondered whether it were general knowledge that the position was cursed; thinking about it, I suppose it can't have been :)

Thanks for a fun read, I'm working my way through slowly but surely!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad to hear that you're reading and enjoying. :)

I figure the memory of jinxing someone might stand out better than just passing them in the corridors. :P And I'm happy that you like Lily's characterization; I always see her as being much more like Harry would be as a Head Boy than Hermione would be like as a Head Girl.

You know, I had actually forgotten about poor Trevor until you mentioned him! It's weird how little details like that can get shoved into the back corners of your mind, even when you're the one who has written them. I have to confess that having him not return was done more out of convenience at the time, but I did think it would add another element to the story to have him gone because of Voldemort, rather than just saying that there had always been four Gryffindor boys, or something like that.

I wonder if maybe there were rumours about the job (I think maybe Ron said something to the effect of it being cursed, but in an off-hand way). I'm sure no one really knew the truth, though!

Thanks again for the review! I hope you continue to read and like the story!

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Review #5, by StormThief17 

25th May 2012:
I really like this story! I think the best part is you portray all the worry and darkness that is going on. A lot of marauder stories tend to ignore that and just go for the romance between the characters. Thank you for this lovely story! also, just a small error I noticed-- you repeat inches when Slughorn is assigning the essay. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I think the war is one of the most poignant parts of Marauders stories, and as such, I couldn't help but feature it. :) I mean, romance is all well and good, but romance against the backdrop of war? It makes for a great story.

Thank you for pointing out that error; I'll make sure to fix it!

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Review #6, by classicblack 

9th December 2011:
Could Dearborn's connection to Dumbledore possibly be the Order of the Phoenix? Hmmm... haha sarcasm. Anyway, the story's a bit dull right now, but you have managed to add a bit of humour and foreshadowing to parts ahead, so that's good. It's a Lily and James story so I'll keep reading no matter what because I love 'em. Nice job overall so far, though.
Happy writing,

Author's Response: What!? How on earth did you guess that?!

:P Kidding. I guess the fun is sometimes taken out of fan fiction because everyone can look up who Caradoc Dearborn is, if they don't already know. But oh well!

Yes, it is a little slow-moving at the start--I think I have a bit of a tendency to drag with my writing, though I do try to avoid it as much as possible. I'm glad you still enjoyed it, though!

Thanks again!

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Review #7, by AngelEyez3954 

30th September 2011:
I like the characters here - you're setting up the story and the characters very well. I really enjoyed James and Lily's interaction early on when handing out the schedules. It was a funny moment, and exactly how I picture James acting. I am enjoying how the story is progressing, and I am looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: James was tough for me to get a handle on when I was starting to write this story, so I'm always really pleased when readers mention that they like his characterization. And, of course, thrilled to hear you liked the interaction between him and Lily, since it's the main focus of the story!

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #8, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

30th September 2011:
I LOVE Professor Dearborn. It might just be me but I think he's completely adorable :P

Author's Response: I'm so happy to hear that! Professor Dearborn is a cool guy, at least in my mind, so it's always nice to hear when someone else likes a character you've fleshed out.

Thanks again!

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Review #9, by CCPaulette 

6th September 2011:
I love the way you characterized James and Lily, it really seems true to the way JK Rowling would have. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the praise and encouragement. :) It's so nice to hear that you think the story fits well with the canon!

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Review #10, by Katie 

1st August 2011:
Slightly enticed keep it up

Author's Response: Hi Katie! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you hear you enjoyed the first few chapters, and I hope you continued doing so with the rest of them. :)

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Review #11, by Livelaughlove25 

17th July 2011:
I like it. I like your style. I actually came by this on padfoot 4ever's page. The only thing is, would sirius use voldemorts real name? Wouldn't he call voldy you know who?

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you found the story and that you like it. :)

I think your question about Sirius using Voldemort's name is one that's open to interpretation--some people would agree that he would say "You-Know-Who", and I can see the argument for that. In fact, part of me thinks it might make more sense for him to say "You-Know-Who" at this point in time. Initially, however, I thought that all of the Marauders would find it silly to be afraid to using the name. I don't think they would have thought of it in the same way as Dumbledore (with the "fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself" explanation), but instead, more as teenage boys who maybe want to seem tough and confident. I do think that they would have tended to use "You-Know-Who" when they were among others, though, just because of the reactions they would have gotten.

So, that's my explanation--as I said, I see the point you're making, and it's a good one! :) Hopefully mine seems reasonable as well. I guess we can't know one way or the other, really.

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #12, by Noblevyne 

30th June 2011:
I haven't seen Slughorn ever written well - people seem to either make him too simpering, or too nasty - but this is a really balanced portrayal of him. I loved how Lily handled Snape too, and really - everything about Snape in this chapter. He's another hard one that people often get wrong in Marauder fics and I'm so behind I don't think I've actually read to many that explored the canon relationship between him and Lily. You've written it really well - it's subtle and realistic so far, which I have no doubt is very much your style.

Author's Response: I'm so happy you like the way I wrote Slughorn! He is tough to get right; I definitely felt that whenever I was writing him in this story. He's interesting, because I think he shows the other side of Slytherin--the side that isn't necessarily evil or prejudiced, but is cunning, ambitious, and maybe a bit superior. I think it's hard to break free of the idea that Slytherin = evil, so there's always the temptation to make Slughorn a more repellant character than he truly is.

(In case you haven't noticed yet, I ramble a lot in review replies. :P)

I am also very, very happy that you think Snape and his relationship with Lily is realistic. I don't particularly like Snape, but he has grown on me in an odd way over time. All the things that I dislike about him also make him incredibly compelling.

Thank you again!

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Review #13, by harrypottergurl10 

27th January 2011:
This is good so far. It usually takes me a couple of chapters to get into stories but this one has got me hooked. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Hi there! Okay, obviously, before saying anything else, I would like to say a gigantic apology for how long it's taken me to reply to your lovely reviews. I was busy with school and review responses seemed to fall to the bottom of my to-do list. I'm so sorry, and I hope the old saying "better late than never" applies in this case! :)

I'm so glad to hear my story hooked you pretty early on. That's something I always worry about with my writing--whether it's actually engaging or not--so it's encouraging to know that someone is really interested in reading what I've written!

Thanks again!

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Review #14, by doglover 

20th December 2010:
i am, as you sais, "enticed to read more." :D

Author's Response: I'm really happy you continued to enjoy the story! Thanks again for the review!

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Review #15, by AlPadfootPotter96 

16th December 2010:
Interesting chapter - I love James' thoughts and his comments about Lily!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked James' thoughts; I had a tough time getting into his head at first, so it's very encouraging to get comments like that. :)

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Review #16, by katie 

14th December 2010:
im pleasantly surprised with your story. it avoids all the stupid cliches and so far seems like a great story. great writing so far!

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you--you left me my 600th review! :D :D :D

But, more importantly, I'm so happy to hear you like the story. :) It's always nice to hear that people find it realistic and somewhat original (i.e. not cliched). I hope you continued on reading and enjoyed later chapters as well!

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Review #17, by girly1393 

8th September 2010:
You aren't failing at trying to put a spin on it; I think you're succeeding quite well.

I really can't wait to see where this goes. But I have a vague feeling I've read this story before. If I have, I apologize for not reviewing, that's not like me.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm back, and I'm so sorry it's taken so long. School is just...well, school, and so very time-consuming. :/

I'm so glad that you think I did a good job at making the story my own. It has, after all, been done so many times that it's difficult to really get something distinctive going.

Thanks for the review! (And don't worry if you read and didn't review before--better late than never, right?)

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Review #18, by Abhorsen 

21st August 2010:
I really enjoyed that James didn't exactly know what to do. It's nice to see him have that dimension - he's completely out of his element and has lost his confidence here.

The way you bring in little details like the twelve inch essay for Professor Slughorn or the room where Filch stores things are really cool links to actual canon stuff, so kudos for that.

I like that James is gonna pick some kind of fight with Filch for that matter. Very like him indeed, and really neat.

And I've heard the name Dearborn before. Is he one of the people that Moody lists as being in the Order and having been killed by Voldemort?


Author's Response: I actually think of James as quite outwardly confident, but fairly insecure and hesitant, as well--almost like he goes overboard with the confidence at times to compensate for the fact that he doesn't actually FEEL 100% confident. I guess I just like to think of him as a bit like Harry in that regard (especially when it comes to girls). :P

I'm glad you enjoy the little details! I always like it when authors try to add little things like that into their stories, so of course I try to emulate that in my own writing. :) And yes, you may have heard the name Dearborn before. In fact, if you've read all the books, you definitely have heard it. ;)

Thanks for another review!

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Review #19, by happy_person 

1st July 2010:
another great chapter! good job! and it is getting very interesting ;)

Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm glad you continued to find the story interesting as the chapters went on. :)

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Review #20, by LoveTomRiddle 

26th June 2010:
I loved this chapter! My favourite parts:

"James spent most of the class levitating Snape’s textbook, much to the aggravation of its owner."

"She picked up her quill and began doodling a cauldron on the corner of a piece of parchment. Anna leaned over a few minutes later and deftly sketched a walrus in a wizard’s hat in robes, making a clear reference to Professor Slughorn. Lily grinned.“Nice drawing,” he [James] said, gesturing toward her book. Her cauldron doodle and Anna’s walrus were visible over the top edge of the book’s greenish-gray cover."

""Why, Severus, I’ve never seen you so clumsy!” Slughorn said, taking out his wand.“He’s usually so good at hiding it,” James said, shaking his head sympathetically and taking out his wand. “Reparo.”...Snape swept out of the dungeon, red-faced and looking murderous. Slughorn was either oblivious to the tension in the room, or he was pointedly ignoring it."

Author's Response: Oh, I love hearing which parts people liked from chapters. :) And, wow, as I'm reading those back over, I see glimmers of humour in my writing! :P It's so funny, actually--after so much writing, I tend to forget all the little details I put into things (like the drawing of Slughorn), and it's so nice to be reminded of them. :)

Thanks again!

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Review #21, by Isannah 

15th June 2010:
The humor woven into this chapter gives it a little buoyancy.

Author's Response: Thank you! Humour isn't my strongest suit, so I'm always thrilled to hear people find parts of my writing funny. :)

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Review #22, by allie_0608 

8th April 2010:
Love the way this is going so far [:

Author's Response: Hi again, Allie! (Sorry, I just realized I made a typo and mis-spelled your name in the last response!) Thanks for reviewing again.

I'm so glad the chapters are so far holding up to your original impressions. :) I hope it continues that way!

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Review #23, by Prongs and Lils 

28th February 2010:
oh im certainly not bored you're doing a good job with this!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'm really glad to hear that you're not bored. Sometimes I can never be sure if I'm making the story interesting enough! :) That's why it's so great to be able to get feedback from reviewers!

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Review #24, by Ranilyn 

12th February 2010:
A great chapter, and cool intro. It's another Lily and James fic.but there's just something original and different about yours...that I happen to be unable to point out. I don't think there's a lack of James and Lily, it's got me hooked.

Author's Response: Hi Ranilyn! Thanks for leaving me a review!

Yes, it's ANOTHER story about Lily and James...haha. It's been done many a time, but I'm so beyond thrilled that you're finding something unique about my story. That's a wonderful compliment, and I'm so glad you're hooked! I really hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters, too. :)

Thanks again!

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Review #25, by prongs lover 

27th January 2010:
i really love both your Lily and your James - they're so cannon! I think people often write Lily and James as though they haven't changed at all since what Harry saw in fifth year but they would have grown up a bit in my opinion, and you've really created a great relationship! I actually really love all of your characterizations which is great because for me, thats pretty much the most important part. i cant stand characters that are all wrong. and by the way, the sorting hat song in the last chapter was amazing! well done for coming up with that :) i think the only constructive critisism i could offer (although since you've written 26 chapters now it might be pretty pointless) is that its moving a little slowly. but its only the second chapter so im probably just being impatient :)
This is a really awesome story so far, i cant wait to read some more! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you very much for the review!

I'm so happy to hear you like the characterizations. :) It's something I've fixated on a lot, so it's just great to know that you thought I did a good job. I think you're absolutely right about them changing between fifth and seventh year, and I also felt like what we saw of them in seventh year was such a brief and circumstantial snippet, that it could hardly give us a real sense of who they were. I tried to give it some deeper thought to try to figure out what all those little things might mean about them.

I'm really glad you liked the Sorting Hat's song, too! I actually had fun writing it, and it's even better that people seem to have enjoyed its inclusion. :)

Ah yes, well, I would have a bit of a problem with speeding up these chapters that are already posted. :P But your suggestion is a valid one. I do think that it picks up the pace a little after the first few chapters (although you can correct me if that's not true), but then there is a point where it slows down again, and at the moment I'm working on bringing it back up to pace for the last few chapters. Let me know what you think in future if you get a chance to review again!

Thanks again, and I really do hope you like the rest of the story!

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