15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by fwoopersong8 

23rd February 2015:
This was very cold, very removed. I'm not saying that in a bad way, either. It was shock; that's what it made me think of. Block paragraphs and no dialogue. Very shock. Very Snape. I think I might have gone for a little more emotion, but honestly, I've never written anything about Snape and have never even thought of trying. He's without a doubt the most complex character in the books, so thumbs-up to you for giving this a stab. I liked how he hoped that maybe Lily would change her mind about James, because I always wondered how he dealt with their marriage in that clandestine mind of his. I give this a 5 out of 10 because I am a very noncommittal person. :) Interpret as you will.

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Review #2, by Siriuslover177 

5th August 2011:
I can hardly control my self right now.
The tears just keep coming and coming.
Such a sad chapter.
I feel so much for Severus. He is brave, and so many other things. He lost the person he loved the most. And I just feel so bad for him.
I cannot even imagine that feeling.
I sobbing so hard at this, but when I read the part where he found out they'd be sharing a grave, I could hardly continue.
Such a beautifully written piece.
I loved it so much. So amazing.


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Review #3, by CessZ 

22nd August 2010:
Even though I do not like Snape I LOVE stories where he's in angst and that show his love for Lily in them!!!
I had always imagined what Severus would be like in the funeral...but I had NEVER expected him to take a beack seat...I had always imagined him up front, blaming James for the loss of his love, having an emotional day...so this was something very different...something I LOVED READING!!!


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Review #4, by Capella Black 

22nd August 2010:
Hmmm, interesting. This isn't exactly the way I imagine to be at this point. However, your reasoning for him is sound and comprehensive, and by the end I had put my own biases aside to embrace how you were portraying him.

In particular, I found it interesting that he would have still been hoping for Lily to change her mind and join him, given how their entire friendship broke apart after he called her a mud-blood - to me that was always proof that Lily would never be with him while he held those kinds of beliefs. However, I realise that emotions, particularly love, and those we never verbalise, can lead us to hold quite illogical hopes, and this aspect was sufficiently well written and reasoned that by the end I did believe it.

I more instantly connected with and loved your portrayal of his need to suppress his emotions - this is very Snape, and you explored it wonderfully. So yeah, overall a really well written viewpoint, which made me reconsider Snape a whole lot.

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Review #5, by propertyoftheHBP 

17th August 2010:
I'm always at the ready to read a good piece about Snape, and this was just that. His every emotion was portrayed perfectly, his character was just...there.

Like Peter, he'd be bouncing between extreme thoughts. In the beginning his feelings about it all being his fault were just wonderful. Because in reality it was just as much Peter's--or, as he and the rest of the world saw it at that time, Sirius's--fault as his, he'd only see it as his. You only mentioned Sirius "betraying" them once that I can tell, and briefly at that--I think it's perfect that way. The anger at Sirius came later, in "Prisoner of Azkaban". Right then he'd only be feeling the despair on his own part for being the one who relayed the prophecy back to Voldemort.

And the few paragraphs before the end? Oh my, they were just so real for his character. I'm not going to say they were beautiful, because they were definitely creepy and not healthy in the slightest. But they were Snape. My favorite line out of that bunch is definitely: "She was supposed to love him". It makes me shudder, because that's really how he thought, and I can so see that running through his mind as he started at the dual grave. Everything he thought then was just so eerie and not right but perfect. It was my favorite passage out of this entire collection so far, definitely.

Another great take on an important character's perspective of that big day. :] I still have nothing but positive words for this so far, you did a fantastic job with it.

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Review #6, by pennyardelle 

22nd May 2010:
Snape's reluctance to show emotional weakness is perfect. I could never imagine him devolving into complete self-pity and depression, based on what we saw of his personality. It's funny that he criticizes James' inability to conceal his emotions as a weakness. You have to wonder: if Snape had been a more honest, more open person, would things between himself and Lily have gone differently?

I liked this, too: "...as long as she lived then there was always the possibility that the marriage wouldn't work out and she might consider him again." I absolutely think Snape would have held that attitude. After all, JKR said that Snape joined the Death Eaters to impress Lily (which you alluded to in this), so he must have always held out hope that she would change her mind and transfer her affections to him.

The fact that his tears came after seeing that James and Lily would be buried together was very touching. :'( I'm not a big fan of Snape or Snape/Lily, but there are aspects of his story that I find terribly, awfully sad. His death in DH is one of only two moments in that book that actually made me cry, which is kind of ironic, I suppose, considering that I never really liked him as a character. The last few paragraphs of this particular story--especially the fact that we know he's never going to come back to the graves again--were just another instance where I felt bad for Snape despite disliking other parts of his character.

Author's Response: I made Snape criticise James for wearing his heart on his sleeve because he criticises Harry in OotP for that very reason, comparing him with his dad. YOu probably have a point though in that if he had been more open, Lily could well have been more predisposed towards him. I guess only JKR can tell us the answer to that.

This chapter has been the most polarising, I think, and it's mostly between Snape fans and non-Snape fans. I fall into the latter category (like you) and some of the Snapey types have thought I didn't get him all that well. But maybe we just interpret him differently. I have a very set view of how he was and this is part of that, so it's nice that you agree.


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Review #7, by LindaSnape 

25th March 2010:
I'm not feeling the same understanding you had for Remus and Peter for Severus.

I felt some sort of connection, but it was empty and hollow. Something was missing. I think he's more of a complex person than just someone longing after Lily like a sad little puppy dog.

Of course, he loved her, but I think that there should have been a little more fear and perhaps self loathing. Severus just didn't seem as realistic to me as the others.

He seemed a bit out of character.

However, the writing in itself is wonderful.

I do like the part where he cries and shifts his weight uncomfortably, that seemed human to me. But in essence, I felt no connection with Severus. It just felt like an overview of his feelings rather than something with any real depth, if you don't mind my saying so.

This is a great piece, but it doesn't call out to me, and as someone who usually relates very closely to Severus it was something that I had to point out.

Nice job.


Author's Response: Oh,the Snape chapter. I've had some differing feedback on this one, and I think it might be because everyone seems to have their own interpretation of Snape.

I will admit now that I have no love for Severus. I see him as having a selfish and possessive love for someone who had turned away from him and to me that was the main thing that drove him. But, from your username I surmise that you have more of an affiinity for him and perhaps interpret him differently. That's fine. I certainly take your point in that perhaps there should have been more fear and possibly self loathing, but it's not how it felt for me as a writer. It's hard to get the balance right and with a character as complex as Snape I doubt I'd ever get him completely accurate.

In any case, thanks for the comments. They have certainly given me something to think about and, if I do revise this chapter in the future, I'll take them on board. Like I said, because I don't like the guy myself I'm probably coming at it from the wrong angle.


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Review #8, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain 

16th September 2009:
Heyah! Constants here! I think I say this too much, but I'll say it again: sorry to keep you waiting for forever. Hopefully my review will make up for it? *crosses fingers*

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I love Snape. Anything to do with Snape at all...I love it. I didn't like him before DH came out, but when I realised he loved Lily, I fell in love with him! I'm an avid Snily shipper, and I believe you demonstrated his love for her well. You can feel his regret boiling inside of him, eating him alive, and you feel sorry for him. At the same time, you don't like him at all becauseit was HE who actually helped kill Lily (in a way). And his love for her isn't healthy...it is obsessive and violent, and you portrayed that with a sharp eye.

What I like about this chapter the most was when he cried. It was so unbelievably real and touching I almost shed a tear. You have an amazing gift at writing, especially with Snape's character (not to mention Lupin's and Peter's), and not a lot of people can do that. Very good job.

And if I may be bold, I only noticed one grammar error (one of your sentences ended in a preposition, but since so many writers do this, I wouldn't worry about it). Don't quote me though, because I'm still a high school student and have a lot of learning to do.

On to the next chapter...OMG, DOES IT SAY SIRIUS BLACK?

Author's Response: Mein gott, a grammatical error! Oh no! I must got in and fix that. :D

Anyway, thanks again for a lovely review! I don't mind how long it takes because let's face it, you're doing me a favour here. :)

Ah, you love Snape do you? The funny thing is that I don't like him at all, but the first fic I ever wrote for this site (which admittedly was only 6 months ago) was a Snape/Lily fic ... it's called Obsession if you want to have a look at any point. And to get into his head for this chapter I re-read that one to get into character.

But yes, his love for Lily was jealous and possessive and obsessive, so I'm glad that as a Snape fan you can see that. I thought it was important to express that. And that's one of the reasons I did this chapter - he was in some ways guilty for her death (as well as Peter and Sirius) and it would have killed him to realise that.

Anyway I'm so pleased that you like this chapter and my portrayal of Snape, like you said he's a tricky character to get into the mind of.


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Review #9, by Phoenix_Flames 

5th September 2009:
Wow! I wasn't expecting a chatper on Snape, but now that I read it, it makes sense.

Ooooh, how I hate Snape. Because of my general opinion on him, I found this chapter hard to enjoy, but that's jut my thick skull. Once again, it was beautiful and full of emotion and that lack of dialogue really connected me to the feelings in this.

Your writing is so moving!

9/10 -- because I no likey Snapey.

Author's Response: Ha ha ha. I no likey Snapey either, to tell you the truth! Which is really funny because the first fic I wrote for this site is a Snape fic, so I"d already delved into his head once. :) Anyway I had to write Snape for this for 2 reasons - 1, because someone asked me to (and when people ask so nicely it's so hard to say no!), and 2, because like Peter and Sirius he felt some guilt for what had happened, and I thought it was important to cover that.

Anyway I'm glad that you appreciated this chapter, even if you couldn't like it. :) (And don't worry, I know exactly what you mean.)

thanks again, I'm starting to love you now. :D

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Review #10, by theRandomSlytherin 

4th September 2009:
*sniffles* That was sad.
I'm totally.I can't even say it.
That was incredible.
Snape was definitely canon and his characterization was spot on.

"He felt a tear trailing down his cheek and wiped it away impatiently. Shedding tears was showing emotion, and that would never do. Why did it have to end this way, he thought furiously. It was never supposed to be like this. She was supposed to recognise his devotion and return it, looking with wonder at the power and influence he had achieved within the Death Eaters, not shun him and permanently attach herself to Potter, in death as well as in life. She was supposed to realise that he worshipped her more than Potter ever could, that he would have done anything for her, that he would have made her a princess and ensured that this war would never even touch her. She was supposed to be his shining light in what was certainly a complicated world.

She was supposed to love him."

Oh my Merlin, I loved that part.
This is my favorite chapter so far.

Excellent work!

Peace out,

Author's Response: Wow, thanks again! You're just about my favourite person right now. :D

I'm especially pleased that you think Snape was in character because this was the most difficult one for me to write - I find it hard to get into his head convincingly. So it's great that you think that worked. *beams again*


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Review #11, by confusedlover 

3rd September 2009:
very lovely.

wow, what another amazing one-shot you have hear. i certainly love the fact that Snape was one of the characters that you wrote about for this little collection sort of thing. it makes sense, of course, but i had a great time getting inside of his head. it was really nice that he showed up for the funeral despite the fact that it was also centered around Potter and that he couldn't do much else but stand there. it showed just how much Lily meant to him and just how much of an influence she was on his life even though she never loved him back the same way that he had always loved her. beautiful job.

onto the next one...

Author's Response: Wow, thanks again! What a great review! I'm just thrilled that you're appreciating these stories ... from what I understand it's a subject not often tackled so it's just great that you think I did a good job. *beams*

I thought it was important to do Snape as part of this set of stories, not only because I was asked to but because of the guilt he must have been feeling. And it sounds like I captured that pretty well so thank you :)


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Review #12, by slytherinchica08 

3rd September 2009:
you captured snapes emotions and thoughts during the funeral beautifully. of course he is going to feel guilty for giving that information to voldemort and in turn he would feel completely responsible for the death. you did a great job on his take and how he wants to stay hidden from view and that nobody would understand why he was there. great job.


Author's Response: Gee, I'm going to have to go take a cold shower or something to get my ego back to a more manageable size! Thank you so much!

I found it hardest to get inside Snape's head out of the lot of them - in fact, I had to re-read one of my other fics (Obsession) which was from his POV in order to get there properly - and so this was the hardest one to write, but again it sounds like I did pretty well. So thank you! What an absolutely lovely review! :D


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Review #13, by RonsGirlFriday 

14th August 2009:
Really great job with Snape in this chapter. I think you captured something important, which is that, as much remorse as he may have felt, he was still certainly jealous. I'm glad you included his feelings of envy at seeing that there was only one grave -- and also his possessive feelings towards Lily, since his reaction to seeing the one grave was that he still couldn't take her away from James, even in death. However much I may love Snape, and however tragic I think his love story is, it definitely wasn't a pure love, because it was fettered by jealousy and possessiveness.

The one piece of constructive criticism I can think of, is that I think you could have had a little more description in the beginning of the chapter, of what was going on at the actual funeral from Snape's perspective, before launching into the back story of his betrayal. I think it would have helped to anchor the chapter a little bit, if that makes any sense.

But otherwise, great job with this! Do you plan on adding anymore chapters?

Author's Response: Hi RonsGirlFriday! Thanks for taking a look, I'm glad you liked it. And I'm doubly impressed that for a Snape fan you recognise that his love was hindered by jealousy and possessiveness, because like you I'm sure it's true but it seems to bypass a lot of Snape fans :)

Fair call about having a bit more about the funeral, I guess I just didn't think of that. I'll have another look and see if I can do anything about that, though considering he never got inside the church it could be tricky to pull off. But I'll see what I can do.

And one more chapter to come, which is Sirius in Azkaban finding out that James and Lily were buried that day. It's been written so once the queue clears for me I'll load that one up.


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Review #14, by sreduaram 

9th August 2009:
i adored Snape's perspective. it's sad, but its just so incredible. i really am just amazed. i love how you've written it.

i now completely feel for snape, all the things about lily, the memories and matching patronuses. It's so strange to consider it for him, because its tha man he hates, but the womanhe loves. and i love how you've gone into the extents snape went to, in preventing voldemort from harming her.

and its just a beautiful image of him crying for her. I'm generally not a snape fan, but i really do love how you've represented him. its lovely.
i'm definately looking forward to seeing sirus' perspective :)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks yet again! What a lovely thing to write!! :D

Like you I'm not a Snape fan (strange, because the first fic I posted on this site is a Snape fic) but like I said with the Peter thing I like to work out what motivates people so I can try to understand them a bit better. I will say though that this is the one that took me the longest to write because I have more trouble getting inside Snape's head than any of the others.

I have something else that I'm going to post first but, fingers crossed, the Sirius one should be up within another month or so, depending on the queue and whether anything gets rejected.

thanks so much for reading and reviewing, you've made my day :)


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Review #15, by Liza 

7th August 2009:
I just read all three and there so beautiful..i had tears in my eyes and felt all choked up :(
All three were so good in there own way..showing each mans emotion..your writing was incredible and it truly captured these moments.
I especially enjoyed how you brought in the bit with Peter and the wand. That bit in the books-how Voldemort got his wand back- often baffled me :)
I cant wait for Sirius' so i hope you update soon :)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks Liza! I'm really thrilled that people are reading and appreciating these one-shots, I thought it was an interesting subject and so I'm glad other people agree.

And I'm so flattered that I actually inspired tears in someone, that's amazing, I never thought I could move anyone to that extent so I'm extra pleased right now :D

I've got some other things that need to go in the queue first but the Sirius one should be up within a month with any luck.

thanks for reading!

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