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32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Aw, all of the parts in this chapter with Lily and James were just so cute! I really like the way that you're developing their relationship slowly so that it comes from friendship first, and that it's not Lily one day suddenly deciding that she'll go out with him. He was so cute when he was lamenting the fact that she kept turning him down and he scared her off, and it's sweet that the girls are teasing Lily about fancying James, even though she's not ready to admit to him that she likes him.

I'm really glad that Mary's finally come to her senses as well, and managed to get over her crush on James. It wouldn't have ended well!

I really like the fact that DADA lessons are becoming a more important feature in this story as the war has more of an impact on their world and Laura and the others become more aware of it. At least they have a teacher who clearly wants to teach them properly! And then the end section was brilliant! Even though Laura ended up in detention for it I felt like she'd come into her own a lot more and I loved seeing her stand up for someone else.

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, poor James. HE really is struggling there, I think. Then again, given he struggles with just about NOTHING ELSE, I figured it's good for him to suffer a bit in his pursuit of Lily. :)

As for DADA, well it's a big part of winning the war, isn't it? I'm glad you're enjoying those lessons.

cheers, Mel


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Review #2, by Olga 

31st December 2012:
Keeps getting better and better! Go you!

Author's Response: thanks! I quite like this one too. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Pretense Of Perfection 

6th December 2012:
I've seen this around since I started, and decided to give it a shot. I'm certainly not disappointed so far.

Although I must admit, time and time again I really have trouble understanding what Mary is trying to say. I really like your portrayl of her character, but it's rather hard to read..

And I think in the beginning of the term it was stated that Laura was only taking the core classes, transfiguration, potions, defence, charms, etc..but in either this chapter or the last it said something about her leaving a very boring ancient runes class I believe. not sure if anyone's pointed this out yet, but just thought I would.

Author's Response: Ah, I think you must have misunderstood. Laura dropped Care of Magical Creatures, History of Magic and Astronomy after fifth year, but kept up Ancient Runes, which she continues till the end of seventh year. Hence, her subjects are the main core ones (Charms, Herbology, Defence, Potions and Transfiguration) plus Runes, which she shares with Remus.

Thanks, though, for giving my story a go. I know that some people do have trouble with Mary's accent (though I've been told it gets easier to read as you go along) but quite frankly the idea of going back through 300,000 words and changing it doesn't really appeal to me. I'm glad you like the rest of it though. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Elizajane 

24th June 2012:
I love the reference to Moaning Myrtle in this chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! It's a pretty obscure reference, so I'm glad you picked up on it. *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

1st March 2012:
Good chapter. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: thanks!
cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by singer123 

13th December 2011:
elephant trunk??? Awesome!!
I don't know how you come up with all this!

Author's Response: It's not easy, believe me. COming up with pranks was probably one of the most difficult parts of writing this story, and I went through several different ideas before I was happy with them. So to have you appreciate it is really wonderful, because that wasone aspect that I was quite unsure about. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by classicblack 

14th October 2011:
Well done! I love Laura cursing Maggie Flint (do I see a relation between her and Marcus Flint?) and the prank by the Marauders in the beginning; I always do enjoy a good prank, as I seriously think it's harder to come up with a good one than most authors would think.
Finally! Lily is admitting something; I like how you're keeping the J/L happenings as a subplot instead of just thrusting it aside, because it actually is an important part of any Sirius/OC story.
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, there is a relationship between Maggie and Marcus Flint - all surnames in this story were taken from canon, and in this case I imagined that Maggie would be the sister of Marcus' brother. :) And you're right about pranks - they are very difficult to think up. In fact, I worried that I had them all a bit too similar so thanks for reassuring me on that.

And yes, Lily's admitting something, though admitting things to herself is a huge issue there. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by alicia and anne 

5th August 2011:
I would have loved to see the Slytherins faces when they woke up to those banners.
You write Mary's accent so well, was it really hard to write?
It's good to see that people are annoyed with being last in the house points because of the pranks they marauders play, and that not everyone likes the pranks or finds them funny.
The defence scene was very well writen, as is the friendship between all of the girls, it's developed very well and is really believable. You're a great writer.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: You know, Mary's accent wasn't nearly as hard to write as you'd think. Once I had the different words down pat, it was like second nature. Occasionally I'd find I'd missed a word here and there and have to go back to change it, but overall it wasn't difficult. Glad you like it though! :)

And yeah, if I was in Gryffindor I'd be a bit annoyed about the points lost by Marauder pranks, so it seemed appropriate to include that in this story. If you were in their inner circle, fine, but not many were so I can see a few people getting irritated.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #9, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
I love the bonds with these girls.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Why thank you! It was important to get the friendships right, I think, with the right level of intensity or, if you like, getting them closer as the story progressed. Very pleased it's come off well :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Ronnikinschik4ever 

10th April 2011:
I love all of the small cannon bits of information in this story, like the Martha/Olive Hornbie thing. That was brilliant.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for that! I did try to put a lot of little canon references in there but this is one that I'm not sure that a lot of people noticed, so kudos to you for picking up on it! :) Again, fun to include just as a little aside, you know?

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by JayJay 

6th April 2011:
You're a genius. =) .

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! *blushes* Not sure what part of this chapter you're referring to (perhaps I need to read it again to refresh my memory) but I'll take genius. See? Doesn't take much to make my day. :D

thanks again, Mel


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Review #12, by theelderwand 

20th August 2010:
Laura has really grown throughout and its well done. the dueling scene I thought was quite good. Appropriate that James and Sirius were good duelers. Unfortunate that James never even had his wand when Riddle came calling.

Lily's finally giving James his due and it looks like James is finally getting his act together (poor guy). I hope they finally get together here. Not much on Remus and Charlotte; presumably that will get sussed out too. But, again, given canon, we know none of these relationships can end well.

Must see what happens next.

Eldy

Author's Response: I always thought that for a filler chapter this one wasn't too bad. The detention of course is a set up for what's to come, but beyond that it was mostly scene setting and a bit of character development. Which means that yes, James IS getting his act together, though it'll be a bit longer before he's really got himself sorted out. After all, they can't get together before seventh year, can they?

As for Remus and Charlotte, well my lips are sealed. You know how it ends up, but for me to say anything now might be a spoiler for anyone who reads this. *evil grin*

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

19th August 2010:
I do like the sound of the story becoming more Sirius/Laura, they seem like a great pairing to focus on and I just think they'd work together. Although, I do love the use of James/Lily, and the overall pacing of their relationships rather than it being rushed and completely off pace. The entire story seems to be paced exceptionally well, with each event happening when it should at just the right time rather than it being rushed or forced. It does make for a nice piece to read! Well done and I'm on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hahaha. I know I dragged this out for far too long to start with, but I really wanted to get fifth year in there and really establish where everyone starts off, because that makes my main character's behaviour later on make more sense. But yes, about time it started doing what it promised, which was to be a Sirius/OC story. :) I was just hoping that I hadn't turned too many people off by this stage ... fortunately I had some loyal readers who were sticking around. I'm a lucky girl. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Mwah ha ha ha! Lily has finally admitted that she likes James drooling all over her. And let's face it, who wouldn't? We can all say what we like about unwanted admirers, but everyone likes to have one of the most popular guys in the school providing free ego boosts. Again, you have captured the realities of teenage life perfectly.

And as for Laura - hexing someone when it wasn't self defence? Wow, she really is coming into her own. Glad to see Mary's back on form too - her crush on James was never going to end well, so this was read with a sigh of relief.

My favourite point though was the description of the duel between James and Sirius - this is exactly how I imagine they'd be, and it fits well with how Harry is in DADA. A lovely insight into the boys behind the bravado, particularly when coupled with their earlier discussions about Lily.

What next? Let's find out!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, who wouldn't like having one of the catches of the school drooling all over them all the time? It was only a matter of time before Lily admitted that to herself, and then to the others. Glad you appreciated it!

And yes, Laura hexing someone when it's not self defence. She does have a pretty strong sense of right and wrong and of standing up for the little guy and this was one of those occasions. I thought it was also an important part of her development as a person. :)

And yes, the boys just had to be brilliant at DADA, didn't they? To become who they did, I mean. And what better way to show that than a lesson like this one? Again, very pleased that you liked that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
haha snapes grease glowing in the dark!!!

Author's Response: LOL. I'm glad you liked that because that was one of the prank ideas I was proudest of. I'm not sure where I got the idea from but it works, doesn't it?

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by Timothy Todd 

14th June 2010:
"Laura story (dare I say even showing potential to become a Sirius/Laura story) and less a James/Lily story – though of course the J/L thing will continue as a subplot."

I'm sort of annoyed. I've really enjoyed this story, but it's really frustrating to spend most of the afternoon reading a story to find that out. I've spent most of the day reading stories, so I'm not sure if it was you or someone else, but if you're staying 'canon,' Sirius didn't have a love, JK Rowling said in an interview that he never really was serious with anyone.

Regardless, I have enjoyed the story.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far but, considering this is listed as a Sirius/OC I'm not sure why you were expecting anything else. I'm sorry if you feel misled but I feel I did everything that could reasonably be expected.

As for canon, well if you could direct me to that JKR quote I would be most grateful. I looked everywhere I could think of and all I could find was the line that Sirius was "much too busy to have a girlfriend" at the time Harry was born, which makes him single then. And he appeared to be single in the Snape's Worst Memory scene in OotP. Aside from that,though, I wasn't aware that there was anything concrete about his love life. If I have missed something then I'm sorry, but the purpose of this story was to give him a little bit of happiness considering how horrible his life turned out.

Thanks for reading!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by ochalke5 

6th January 2010:
It was good. I just wonder when will that Sirius/ Laura 'ship begin? Anyways, it was a good chapter. I cannot wait to read more!
10/10
Good job as always, Mel
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie! Thanks for the review :D

yes, I understand your frustration. However, I see you have now read on and have the answer to that question yourself so I don't need to tell you. :D Glad you enjoyed it though!

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by pinaygrl3123 

26th December 2009:
Wo, I love this storyy! And it's crazy how much you write for each chapter - I love it, though! Haha. Mary and Laura are amazing, and I'm glad that Mary is over James. That had to hurt, but hopefully she'll find a better fellow to like! That was some real quick thinking on Laura's part, I'm so proud of her. I love how that was the first spell that even came to mind with her. I love your story just because it's not rushing into the whole story, that it really is a complete story from start to finish so that we get to see the full developments. It's amazing(: Now onto the next chapter! :] :]

Author's Response: Hi there! I woke up one morning to see what felt like several hundred reviews from you, so first of all I'd like to say THANK YOU! And then second I'd like to apologise for taking so long to answer them, but I wanted to get rid of the ones beforehand first and then I wanted to do them all in one hit so this is how it's panned out. And then third I'd like to say, this is really going to test my memory as to what's in each chapter now! But I shall do my best.

You know, when I started out doing this story I had 2000 words chapters or thereabouts, but that way left too many dead chapters and it would have taken forever to load up onto the archive, so I started condensing them. So, 4000-5000 words per chapter it is. Sometimes I go over that but you won't find me going under - I like to maintain a fairly standard length. Call me a perfectionist but there you are :)

I too thought it was pretty quick thinking of Laura to cast that spell, but then again she's had a lifetime of dodging hexes from Bea so she's used to thinking on her feet. This comes up a few times in different ways I think.

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by lily_evans01 

13th November 2009:
I loved how you were saying that martha's aunt was olive hornby. I had never really thought of the relationship between them before. This is an awesome story!!! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

You know, not a lot of people have picked up on that (or if they have, they haven't told me). I thought it was a nice little aside to throw in there so I'm glad you noticed it. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

14th October 2009:
I love how James really is head over heels for Lily. And the fact that she still is in TOTAL denial. I really like the scene in the girls bathroom. Laura is a awesome witch so much more than she gives herself credit for! I cant stop reading this. I am no to the point where I print out chapters and bring them with me to read when I have down time. I am hooked

Author's Response: Hi again! :D

Yes, I quite liked that scene as well, especially McGonagall. It just seemed to work so well as well as demonstrate exactly where Laura stands on the whole blood purity thing.

And wow, you're printing out chapters and taking them with you? I'm astonished. I've said it before but I'm just amazed that this little story has got the reaction it has. So thank you!! :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by nire 

18th September 2009:
that several Gryffindor banners and even a portrait of Godric Gryffindor himself had been affixed to the walls of their common room with Permanent Sticking Charms, and anyone who tried to remove them ended up with red and gold stripy locks.
I love it! I think that is hilarious! Good one boys!

Lily was glaring down the table in James’ direction. “Is that more points you’ve just lost for Gryffindor, Potter?”
Ahhh yep.. I knew I had spoken to soon. I knew it was only a matter of time until James did something silly to stuff up his track record.

Remus shook his head. “I think that might be the first time she’s admitted in public that you actually have a brain. That can only be a good sign.”
HAhahahah! Oh more James... I know they are just giving him a bit of a tease.. but how could James help himself? When it comes to Lily he will believe/do anything.
I love how you used the word ‘shrewdly’ for Sirius in the sentence after that. I love it.

Very quickly, however, our attention, along with that of the rest of the class, was diverted by James and Sirius, who had partnered each other. I’d known that they were good at Defence (their Patronuses were a case in point) and had heard they could do a decent duel, but I had never fully realised before just how extraordinarily good they really were. Their wands were moving so fast they were just blurs of light, and they were dodging each other’s spells just as quickly and apparently effortlessly. Watching them, I had a sudden very clear understanding that these were not people I would want to cross, clearer even than it had been the previous year when Mary was Imperiused. Even Lily looked impressed.
My face completely lit up when I read this! I love it when they are seen as powerful and such. And thank goodness Lily is there! She definitely needs to see that! Ahhh what a wonderful paragraph. I fricken loved it!
I’ve always wondered though where it all came from... or were they just born talented? Either way, good. I love it.

Loving the fact that this is becoming more of a Laura story now. As much as I loved James and Lily, I do like that one day Sirius and Laura are going to get together. It makes my heart swell.

10/10

Author's Response: And thank you again! I can feel the love from all the way over here :D

I don't know whether James and Sirius were born brilliant or what, but I like it too. I suspect they were both really really bright to start with but when they became friends they fed off each other and spurred each other on to get better and better. And by now of course they live together too so you can just see the friendly rivalry over the holidays as they try to one-up each other. That's my take anyway.

As for the Lily/James conversation, well Remus and Sirius were actually right. Lily was horrified that she'd let it slip that she knew he had a brain because she didn't want him to know she liked him. (This is all in my fic, of course, I don't claim to speak for JKR's Lily because we don't know her very well.)

And yes, definitely becoming more of Laura's story now, as the author note said. You'll see what I mean when you read the next chapter.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by roxygirl_01hottie 

11th August 2009:
Hey finally finshed reading all 21 chapters, god it is so good :) I love the idea of a Sirius/original character story, maybe because Sirius never found love like his friends.

I love your story and I hope mine will be as good as yours

The name of my story is called White Horses, but it hasn't been validated yet:( soon hopefully!

Author's Response: Thanks roxygirl_01hottie :)

There are a lot of Sirius/OC stories out there for the very reason you mention, that canon doesn't provide us with an alternative. I'm flattered that you like this one though, so thanks for that. :)

I'm not very good at reading other people's stories (I have limited time) but I'll try to keep an eye out for yours.

thanks for reading :)
Mel


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Review #23, by Lindsey 

7th August 2009:
Awesome! One question-out of curiosity.Who cursed Snapes' greasy hair to glow-in-the-dark?! That was gold! Update SOON!

Author's Response: Gee, thanks Lindsey! I'm so pleased that more people are reading and reviewing my story! :D

The question of who hexed Snape is actually never answered in the narrative but it did happen at Sluggy's Christmas party so it had to be someone in the Slug Club. You can probably guess who the most likely culprits are. :)

cheers, Mel.


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Review #24, by explodingclouds 

6th August 2009:
Can't stop reading, but when are Laura and Sirius gonna be together, I'm kinda anxious about it, can't wait. Keep on writing!! :] 10/10

Author's Response: Gee, thanks explodingclouds! I'm so pleased that you took the time to read and review, that means a lot to me.

My lips are sealed as to what's coming up but I did say that the next chapter is a biggie and I'm sticking to that. Hopefully (fingers crossed, hoping it gets validated etc) it will be up sometime over the weekend so you can see what happens then.

I really hope you keep reading, it's great to have people enjoying my story.

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by i_am_a_roxtar 

5th August 2009:
I've come to absolutely love this story.
it's very different than others that i've read.
and im excited to see where everyone ends up.
you're very talented

Author's Response: Gee, thanks i_am_a_roxtar! (great name by the way) :) I'm just so thrilled that people are finding this story and reading and enjoying it, and even putting in reviews, that just makes my day. I'm so flattered that you think I'm talented ... I just see myself as someone who had an idea and wrote it up and posted it in the vague hope someone might read it. So this is just fantastic! :D

I really hope you keep on reading and enjoying it as we get through sixth and seventh years.

cheers, Mel


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