Reading Reviews for Legend, Chapter 1: Chapter One
34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Conor 

16th July 2015:
Excellent first chapter. I'm hooked.

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Review #2, by Gumbo Yaya  

18th June 2014:
Oo, this is very good so far! This is the first story I read on the founders. I really like it! Question: was the goblet Hufflepuff's cup?

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Review #3, by theoneads 

15th November 2013:
Holy cow, this is great! Even if it isn't historically accurate, the writing itself is really, surprisingly, historical! I'm probably using the wrong words. I just LOVE how it's not modern!

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Review #4, by Maybe 

18th July 2012:
This is simply brilliant! So well written and I'm drawn into the story already! The way you weave your words together flows so well and it really sets the scene for the era. I don't know much about this time period, and you said that it is not historically accurate, but I think the way it's written, with the vivid descriptions, the dialogue and the references to Vikings and Celts and such really paints this picture that I can place the story in.

I love reading Helga as this strong woman here, conquering Britannia and the origins of all four founders are so interesting here. Queen of Cornwall and Salazar being from Constantinople especially. The idea of Salazar as a servant from the East seems such an obvious choice now that you've written it that way, although I would never have thought of it on my own - I can imagine him like that from now on. Everything you've written makes everything so believable, which is always brilliant in AUs. Mostly, I am blown away by how elegantly written this chapter is. Amazing start!


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Review #5, by deluminator 

4th March 2012:
This is an absolutely brilliant start!

The knowledge you have of both history and Harry Potter has made for a very intriguing story. I am excited to see where you take this story.

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Review #6, by IAmGeorge 

16th October 2011:
This story is so well written! It really shows that you have taken the time to look t particular aspects of how you see the Founders Era.

Plus, your A/N made me smile :) Not many writers hope I have a good week! :)

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Review #7, by JamesOCIII 

30th September 2010:

I think Godric should be more... rash, reckless, and bold though... isn't that what Gryffindors are for? I think each of the Founders represents an epic hero, with a tragic flaw...
That's just my opinion though.
Great writing!

Author's Response: Hi JamesOCIII!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review! I'm so thrilled to hear that you liked this first chapter.

Godric's seemingly different personality is completely intentional, by the way. In writing this story, I really wanted to twist Founders' canon and create an entirely AU plot. Therefore, most of the characters display traits that are quite opposite to their supposed personalities. Godric is obedient and thoughtful, Helga is a strong warrior queen, Salazar is a poor servant and Rowena is quite mad. ;)

I do hope that clears things up. If not, feel free to ask more questions. I'd be happy to answer them for you.

I hope you have a lovely weekend! Take care!


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Review #8, by Sirius Blacks lover 

30th September 2010:
Great story! I love all the descriptions, historical references, details; they are all creative and enthralling. The writing is really good too, and the style fits. I've never read fics about the Founders before, but I'm glad I decided to try it:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I was so happy to hear from you. I'm thrilled that you've enjoyed the first chapter. ;) Thanks again for the kind feedback! Take care and be well!


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Review #9, by PrincessEbony 

27th September 2010:
Brilliant stuff! I can't wait to read the rest.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #10, by richard_snape 

14th June 2010:
i really like this story so far. a fresh look at the founders. very well written and executed. 10/10 so far.

Author's Response: Thank you, richard_snape! I'm so thrilled to hear that you're enjoying this. I hope you have a lovely weekend!


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Review #11, by me_thehplvr 

26th May 2010:
This is interesting. I've never actually read a founder's fic, but I'm glad this caught my eye.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #12, by the midnight avenger 

26th May 2010:
that was awesome! you made it seem so realistic and it fit the time period so well. I like how you've made all the founders come from diffrent social statuses. the idea is very original. great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, midnight avenger! It was wonderful hearing from you. ^_^

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Review #13, by alyosha 

20th April 2010:
This is a refreshing look on the Founders era. You say it is AU, but as far as I'm concerned, I think it could still be considered canon. After all, truth is often glossed over in history books. And if the founders were the ones writing that history, they held the power to paint themselves in whatever light they wanted, however inaccurate it happened to be.

One thing I like is how you make Helga out to be some sort of conniving, power-hungry tyrant, and I am curious to see what she does next.

Also I especially like the atmosphere you create; a bitter landscape, slowly being destroyed beneath the harsh morning light. It has a natural quality that imparts some sense of Godric's culture and also of the looming threat that Helga poses to him.

Furthermore, your choice of language also serves to elicit the time in which the story is set. And I think you carried this over into the dialogue as well at certain times. This lends itself favorably to the story because it gives off a feeling of authenticity, something that many Founder's stories lack.

But, I mean, there are still some descriptives with which I can find fault. For instance, from time to time, I felt that there were places where the story did not flow readily. It got bogged down. And in contrast, there were times where things were left too vague, and it felt sparse.

But definitely, overall, it was good. I hope you are still updating.

Author's Response: Hello alyosha!
Ah, what a thoughtful, in-depth review! I feel so very flattered. Thank you! Furthermore, I'm so sorry it took me forever to get back to you. It usually doesn't take me this long to reply to my reviews, but school has been horribly unforgiving lately. I do sincerely apologize for the delay!

I'm really quite thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter. And I certainly agree with your assessment of Founders' history. In fact, the whole plot of this story is based on the inaccuracy of primary historical sources. ^_^

Yes, Helga certainly is conniving. She's a conqueror, to put it plainly, and unfortunately, conqueror's don't establish empires by being kind and considerate.

Also, I really want to thank you for your constructive criticism. As a writer, I couldn't ask for better feedback.

Thanks again, alyosha! It was wonderful hearing from you. Take care!


PS Yes, I will be updating soon. The next chapter is currently being written. ^_^

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Review #14, by RonsGirlFriday 

11th April 2010:
Melanie from TGS here for the Review Chain! :-)

I picked this story for a couple of reasons - first, as madly as I want to read all of your other stuff, I figured I should pick one of the shorter pieces because I actually stand more of a chance of reviewing all the existing chapters, due to my schedule. And second, I've been getting a little more into Founders lately, and any new take on their story is appealing to me.

You are fantastic with period pieces, I have to say. I've read a little bit of some of your other stories, and you always seem to have a good amount of knowledge of the period you're writing. That's a really excellent skill. Are you a history buff?? And even while you're taking certain liberties to fit wizards into the historical context, this chapter seemed fairly historically accurate to me, based on the little I know of Britain in the 10th century. It's the kind of thing that's apparent to me when I read it, but I could never replicate it in my own writing. I'll spend hours reading up on history and people and events and so forth, but I still don't have enough of a working knowledge to write a functional Founder story like this. So bravo!

I love Helga's character. Everyone sees her has this happy, dumpy little woman who has a lot of motherly qualities - she's always the peacekeeper and that kind of thing. But no, in this she's a warrior, and have I said how much I love you for doing that??

The reference to Helga's goblet (which I assume is the intended reference when Erna gives the goblet to Godric) is fabulous. Even in an AU fic, you weave in recognizable canon elements, which in my opinion is one of the things that makes an AU fic great.

Fantastic chapter! I look forward to reading on.


Author's Response: Hello Melanie!
Oh my, what an amazing review! Forgive me if I ramble on a bit incoherently. Your feedback was so encouraging. I feel so very flattered.

First off, I'm quite glad to hear that you're enjoying this fic. I wasn't sure how readers would react to me basically tearing about JKR's story of the founding of Hogwarts. For some reason I seem partial to AU plots. ;) And yes, I am a history buff, well, actually I'm a history major. I've been studying history for more than half my life and now I've dedicated my college to career to it. It can be very tedious at times (emphasis on very, mind you. haha) but I do enjoy it. History has always been a passion of mine and sometimes, I find it is the driving force behind my writing. The way things are going, I'll probably end up as a dusty old historian someday. ^_^

I'm so thrilled you're enjoying my characterization of Helga. I suppose I just wanted to transform her into a more impressive woman, someone who didn't just settle for the students Rowena, Godric and Salazar wouldn't claim. Not that I dislike the Hufflepuffs, quite the opposite, I just wanted to switch up her personality.

And I'm thrilled that you picked up on the goblet. I've been trying my best to sneak in some of the Founders' artifacts. ;)

Thanks again for everything, Melanie. Your feedback was just fantastic. I hope you have a great weekend! Take care!

Lee Anne

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Review #15, by hallowsorhorcruxes 

14th March 2010:
This is such an amazing opening chapter to a story- honestly, you have me hooked already. Your writing is flawless, and your characters honestly breathe. It's a fantastic work; there aren't words to describe your abilities as a writer.

I am so eager to know where this story is going! In some ways, you have subtly integrated traditional character traits of the four founders into the writing, but in other ways you have lain waste to assumption, which is even more fascinating to read. The sweet Helga Hufflepuff is a conqueror, chopping down forests, and Godric Gryffindor is a man of calm energies who will sacrifice himself to avoid war.

Honestly- best story I've read in AGES. 10/10 and an enthusiastic add to favorites! :) Keep writing! Please!


Author's Response: Hi Hallows!
Oh my goodness. I don't know what to say, truthfully. You've left me speechless. Thank you so very much! It was wonderful hearing from you. I'm so thrilled to hear that you're enjoying this fic. I did have my doubts about it, especially since it's such a radical AU. ;)

I really feel flattered by your feedback. You're too kind!

I hope you have a fantastic weekend. And thanks again! ^_^


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Review #16, by Crystle 

8th March 2010:
I love this story so far. It has a very medievel feel to it.

Helga seems quite scary.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #17, by Laugharama_llama 

4th March 2010:
Hello, I'm here with your TGS review :)

First off, I wanted to fantastic your summary was!! The moment I read it, I was intrigued and found your idea very interesting. Your story did not let me down in the least!

I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but in a good way! I think that you did an excellent job of playing with your information and giving the reader enough to make the reader informed, but still curious. For example, I love how you tell the reader about all this crazy stuff Helga is doing, but we don't really know why or how far she's gone, or how most people are reacting to it.

I think this is one of the most creative AU's I've ever read! I really love what you've done with this idea, and it amount of thought and work you've put into this plot is evident.


Author's Response: Hello Katrina!
Aww, thank you so much! As you know by now, I'm a huge fan of your reviews. I just love your feedback. It's really been helpful. ^_^

Yes, Helga is definitely weird and her motives are sort of obscure, I think. There is a method to her madness though, even if it is quite unconventional. ;)

And I'm so glad you liked my summary. Honestly, I hate writing summaries. They either come to me right away or I spend hours struggling to come up with one, haha.

Again, thanks for everything, katrina! It was wonderful hearing from you. Take care!

Lee Anne

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Review #18, by fred is dead 

17th December 2009:
Your writing is absolutely breathtaking! This sounds so medieval, probably what you were going for, but anyway it's so well thought out with all the dialect. Just beautiful!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, fred! It was wonderful hearing from you. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. ^_^ The next chapter is in the works and should be posted soon. I hope you have a pleasant week!


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Review #19, by collette michelle 

8th December 2009:
I must say, I possibly only have ever read two founders era stories, this is excluding, now yours. There isn’t a vast amount of stories written in the era, I do feel because it is a challenging one. Not only must it stay in tone Harry Potter history, but still keeping in tone with the time period. As to make sure certain things aren’t out of place in mention and speaking. Even though you do aim this to be an AU story, I still feel that the historical aspects are there. (If that made any sense, at all!) Which I compliment you for taking on.

I also complement you for doing it so well.

I love Helga already, as a character she has such... strength. She seems like she’ll do as she pleases whenever it is that she feel it necessary. She wants Godric, and she knows how to get him, and is willing to do so for her personal gain. I am very interested to see how Salazar will develop even more, as for now I find myself very curious. As goes for Godric. The portrayal of him in this is like nothing I have read (not that there has been many).

I love the idea of where this is heading, you have given me enough to draw me in, and yet still leave me wanting to know more. Why exactly Helga has sent out of Godric? Or what will come of him.

Please, do feel free to re-request, darling!
Collette Michelle

Author's Response: Hello Collette Michelle!
Wow, thank you so much for the in-depth review! I absolutely loved your feedback. ^_^ You gave me quite a bit to think about and I'll certainly keep your comments in mind when I plot future chapters.

I'm so very glad you thought this first chapter was well-written. To be honest, I'm horrid at writing opening chapters. They never seem to come out right.

I was also thrilled to hear that you enjoyed my take on Helga, Godric and Salazar. This story is a complete AU, as you mentioned, so I was unsure of how readers would react to me tinkering with the well-established personalities of the Founders.

Again, thank you so very much for the awesome review! Your feedback means the world to me. I hope you have a pleasant weekend!


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Review #20, by EternalStarDust 

7th December 2009:
I love your writing style, it's very nicely done. I can't wait to read the rest of what you have.

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and review! I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic. ^_^ I hope you have a pleasant weekend!


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Review #21, by sillysamii 

3rd December 2009:
I have a feeling I will be absolutely enthralled with your story, if this first chapter is any indication.

You write very strongly: you vary your sentence types, you use good grammar, most accurate spelling, and good variation of word choice.

You did a very nice job on taking on the task of writing from a take on the Founders.

I've also noticed you've incorporated some traits of the houses within the characters; I'm sure they'll come into play more noticeably in the chapters to come.

Also, you've done a nice job of changing the language to fit the time period, which is always nice.

Also, towards the beginning you used a lot of description for everything, and throughout the middle/end you sort of lost that. I just suggest staying consistent.

It's always helpful to do a quick edit when you have the free time, to fix the little mistakes [aka, things such as the endings of words--instead of ed, ing].

If you keep this up, I'll definitely keep reading :]

Author's Response: Hi samii!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. It was great hearing from you. Your feedback was so very helpful and encouraging. I will certainly keep your comments in mind when I revise. ^_^

I'm so glad you enjoyed this opening chapter. To be perfectly honest, I've always struggled with first chapters. Balancing exposition with description can be quite tricky.

Again, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments! I will certainly go back and take care of those pesky typos you mentioned. ;) I hope you have a pleasant week!


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Review #22, by InvisibleWitch19 

6th September 2009:
Hey, it's InviWitchie019 from the forums here to review. :)

Wow. That's the first thing I said when I finished the chapter. You see, I don't really read Founders and when I attempted to write one, it was a disaster but I really liked this.

I like Helga's character; people usually think she's sweet and simple but I think I'd rather see her powerful and strong like how you portrayed her here. Your characterizations with Godric and Salazar were great too but I think Helga's struck me the most. Good job!

I also see that you've mixed this story with a part of history and that's really resourceful. Most people just write that the four founders where kings and queens and lived in a castle and made a magic school but your story isn't like that and that's cool.

This is a really original story you've got here. I'm happy that it isn't like all the other typical Founders Era fics that I read and I won't tire of saying so. You writing style is also really good; the flow and plot of the story is intriguing, and especially the characters. I won't tire of saying that either. Great chapter, great story, great writing. I really like this; keep up the good work!


Author's Response: Hi there Bree!
Wow! Thank you so much for the thoughtful review! I really do appreciate your in-depth feedback. As a writer, I couldn't ask for more. And I'll certainly keep your comments in mind when I write future chapters. ^_^

I'm so glad you enjoyed my characterization of Helga. I wanted her to be different in this fic, powerful, but not omnipotent.

As for the historical aspects of this story, I must admit they are not all accurate. ;) This fic is mostly fantasy, though I have used my notes from my early European history class to frame some of the plot.

Thanks again for the fantastic review, Bree! It was great hearing from you. ^_^


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Review #23, by Jazzeh Turnip 

1st September 2009:
Sean Bean! -faints- (or is it Shawn Bawn, eh?)

One thing that made me happy with this is that it enabled me to utilise my cornish accent! Despite how terrible it is, it's fun. I was afraid I'd never get to use it again -pats vocal chords-

This almost seems like it could be a piece of original fiction (I think that's what I like about founders era fics. We don't know much about the people... And you've gone way out with this. I love it). I was actually reading this thinking "Jesus, my STEP DAD would like this... He hasn't even read Harry Potter."

I like all the ideas you have, and I especially like that Helga actually has some power.

I'ma favourite this simply because if this FIRST chapter is good, all the others have to equal it or be better. Not to put pressure on you or anythin ^_^ 10/10

Author's Response: Hi Jazzeh!
Oh, I definitely agree with you! Sean Bean is a handsome man and he reminds me so much of Godric. ;)

Thank you so very much for taking the time to review! I'm glad I gave you an opportunity to use you Cornish accent. ^_^

And yes, I love the flexibility of the Founders era as well. I can stretch canon as much as like without disrupting Rowling's world, haha.

I'm so thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this. And I do hope the second chapter lives up to your expectations.

Take care!


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Review #24, by Jen 

17th August 2009:
OMG... Loving it so far.
I have to be honest - I was drawn in by the use of Sean Bean as Godric Gryffindor... Damn that man is FINE!
Great story... I love the whole dark ages clan wars side to things.
Have to go read the next chapter now.

Author's Response: Hello Jen!
Aww, thank you so much! *blushes* I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic so far. And yes, Sean Bean is a gorgeous man. I think his ruggedness makes him perfect for Godric. ;)

I hope you have a great weekend!


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Review #25, by padfoot4ever 

27th July 2009:
First of all - yayayayay!! A Founders story! It's so hard to come by a good Founders, so thanks so much for writing this!
I'm something of a history nerd. I'm studying it in college, along with Middle English, so I really do enjoy your style of writing. It's very poetic, and I feel like this has actually been written by someone living at this time. I hate that so many people dislike the Founders Era and find it dull. I have started having a go at my own Founders story, but I think it's just going to be one of those fantastically underrated genres, which makes it all the better to me.
It's stories like yours that really makes me love the era. The characters are all so enchanting, especially Helga. There is just something about her - she has a definite presence in this chapter. She is so powerful, but not sinister. We can't really help but have great respect for her. "A man could destroy himself pondering over the idiosyncrasies of a woman like Helga Hufflepuff…most of England already had." I loved this line. I love how this sums her up without delving into too much unneccesary detail and allows the reader some room to create their own idea of Helga for themselves.
I'm rambling - I'll move on.
I think this plot is so unique. It's truly gripping. That Muggles and Wizards are all interspersed, and Muggle Wars and Wizard Wars are combined, is very originial. I suppose Wizards only retreated into secrecy in the Middle Ages, so at the time that Hogwarts was founded, Muggles would have known of their existence. A lot of people tend to forget this. Maybe people who aren't as obsessed with history and Harry Potter as me, or you! (That's meant as a bizzare sort of compliment!)
I hope more people read your story. I hope people aren't put off this magnificent piece of work by the fact that it's a Founders Era. I hope this story can open their minds to the genre. But if it doesn't, believe me, it's their loss. This was brilliant, really.
Heather x
P.S - I know this review has taken a while, sorry about that! I've been sort of busy lately! :)

Author's Response: Hi Heather!
*blushes* What an awesome review! It was so nice hearing from a fellow history nerd. I'm studying history in college myself. And you know Middle English?!? Isn't it a fantastic language? My English professor, who is a medievalist, taught me how to read and speak it. As it is, the Canterbury Tales is so much better to read in the original vernacular. ;)

Having said that, I must confess, this fic isn't at all historically accurate. I took bits and pieces from legend and burrowed a little from history and just sort of mashed it together to create this alternate HP universe. ;)

And I know exactly how you feel. I love the Founders era as well and I don't find it dull at all. But perhaps that's because I'm used to reading historical fiction and rather dry, scholarly prose. ^_^

Yay! I'm so, so, so glad you picked up on Helga's powerful aura. That's exactly what I was going for, although I wasn't sure if it came across or not.

Thank you so much for the fabulous review, Heather. You have no idea how happy it made me. I hope you have a great week!


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