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37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mikaila 

26th July 2016:
My cousin told me J.K Rowling said there are over 1000 students at Hogwarts so I think your numbers of the new students may be off. Other than that, so far this is one of the best fanfictions I have ever read!

Author's Response: Yes, I know JKR said that, but she has also admitted that her maths is often way off. So I take her numbers with a grain of salt, as to have over 1000 students there would clearly need to be a lot more than there are in, say, Harry's year. So I've just gone with the 10 or so per House. I"ts also much easier to keep track of them that way!!

Other than that, thank you so much for the feedbaack. It's so gratifiying to have poeple appreciate your work. Thanks!

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
I seriously can't believe that you're not British after I've been reading this story for 14 chapters! Your writing is great and I haven't noticed anything that's not a British word or spelling so you've done exceptionally well to achieve that - if you hadn't mentioned it, I'd have gone on believing you were British!

I really like the way that Laura and Mary are being more and more included in the things that the other girls do, because it means that there are five in the group rather than just the two of them on their own, and I think it will help them both grow as people. Besides, they need all the friends they can get when there are threats inside and out the school. I really liked the way the trip to Diagon Alley started off here because it just felt normal and light, but deteriorated quickly and got quite dark. It was good to remind us of the very real threat that the Death Eaters and the war presents because they're striking at the heart of wizarding society.

You wrote Dumbledore really well in this chapter - I always think that he's a very difficult character to write, particularly his dialogue, so that was great to read. It's nice to see that they've returned to school all safe, and I feel like this year could be one when Laura grows and develops even more!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Lol. Thank you so much!!! Definitely not British, but also not American so that probably gives me an advantage, right?

I'm very flattered as well that you liked my version of Dumbledore. I find that depictions of him can be quite polarising - I have been very proud of his speeches in some chapters, only to have reviewers say he sounded OOC. But then again we all have our own versions of these characters in our heads, don't we?

thanks, Mel


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Review #3, by John 

26th October 2013:
Thanks! This has been a nice refresher from the average stories I've been reading lately (especially with the grade-A grammar).

Author's Response: Thanks! I do understand your frustration there -I have stopped reading stories in the past due to appalling spelling and grammar. Glad you appreciate it.:)

cheers Mel


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Review #4, by MsErrol 

7th October 2013:
You've really done your reasearch!i really like the fact that this is going with the memories of snapes!!! this is absoulutely fantastic!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I did do a lot of research with this fic so it's really nice to see that recognised. Glad you're enjoying it. :)

cheers Mel


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Review #5, by Olga 

30th December 2012:
Great job portraying the tension in Diagon Alley :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! I thought it was something that needed to be covered, given that there was a war on at the time.

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by Hot Beef 

10th April 2012:
Hi Melian,

I just thought I should point out that Martha is legal in that scenario as it is set in the UK and she is 16, the legal age of consent here.

Other than that, great story! I'm using to escape reality and it's been reassuringly successful.

Author's Response: You know, I re-read this chapter wondering what the reference was to Martha being under age and I couldn't find it, so I'm afraid I'm not really sure what you're talking about. Unless it was a reference to her being under age in wizarding terms, which is under 17? Anyway, not to worry, and thanks for the heads up re the age of consent as I don't think I was aware of that before.

cheres, Mel


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Review #7, by catherine 

4th March 2012:
may i ask why is this book mature? but anyways its reallly good and i think you should make an actual book out of it, like on paper 'cause i try to not go on the computer too much and im addicted to this

Author's Response: The book is mature because there are some very definitely mature scenes coming up later. You just have to get through a lot of un-mature stuff to get there. As for making a real book out of it, well there would be a lot of re-writing to do and I don't want to be subject to the same kinds of debates and vitriol as EL James had when she turned her own fanfiction into an original fiction. But thanks for the vote of confidence!

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
Love your story 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thank you!
cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by kaleidoscope_eyes 

18th February 2012:
I love your story (: just, especially before, you kept using the phrase 'a tidy bit' which I don't think makes any sense. Maybe you meant a tiny bit? I'm not sure, but I thought i should let you know (even though you've already finished the story) Apart from that, all the grammar and phrases and spelling and whatnot is great. Thanks for posting this, it's really good! (:

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! I will assuage your curiosity, though, by saying that "tidy" is a Welsh thing. That is, Welsh people (in their own words, at times) over-use the word "tidy" in their general conversation. It can mean all sorts of things, but that's normally dependent on the context. With that in mind, with a Welsh main character it seemed appropriate to use the word occasionally. Does that make sense?

thanks, Mel


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Review #10, by singer123 

12th December 2011:
I see that the effects of the war have started coming in..
I hope this year Lily and James get together!
This story is so detailed and addictive!
I'm sure I won't be able to restrain myself until I finish the whole story!

Author's Response: Ah, well, I'm a canon girl, and canon has Lily and James getting together in seventh year. The exactly when and how are, of course, yet to be revealed. :) But yes, the war is having its consequences - we can't have a Marauder era story without it, really, can we?

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by classicblack 

13th October 2011:
Great chapter! And don't worry, I think you're doing a brilliant job of being a Brit :) Can't wait to see how this year unfolds and if people will start treating Laura as her own person instead of 'Bea's sister'. I adored Sirius's little inbreeding joke at the end. Nice job!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, the 'Bea's sister' thing has probably been more influential than even Laura realises, so it was fun to show how that panned out. Glad you liked this chatper, and thank you for saying that I'm doing an okay job at British-ising this story. It took some effort but it seems to have worked reasonably well so that's very reassuring. *beams*

thanks again, Mel


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Review #12, by Maddy 

7th September 2011:
Wow, I would never have guessed you weren't British! You had me fooled that you were from Bristol like Laura. :D I am right in assuming you are American? If so, you can't tell, your phrasing is all spot on. This is really good, your writing is really polished and the story is very engaging. Maybe you could have described the dementor attack and the dementors themselves more atmospherically but I can't think of anything else you could improve on and I especially loved Dumbledore's speech! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

No, definitely not British. I've never even been to Bristol, so everything about that part of the world came from internet research. Though, I'm not American either so I didn't have quite the language differences that people from the US seem to have when trying to sound British. But tohave you fooled, well thank you! Clearly I must have been doing something right if I was that convincing. *beams*

As for the Dementors, well that's probably a fair point. It's been a while since I wrote this but I think I was trying to demonstrate, through Laura's sketchy prose at this point, just how they do affect your thoughts and emotions. No idea if I did that at all well, but it could account for the lack of description. :)

thanks again, Mel


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Review #13, by alicia and anne 

5th August 2011:
Demetors in diagon alley!
You have managed to include the war in your story so brilliantly. It's just amazing how much canon is in this story, I love it so much! (I'll never get tired of loving this story!)
The way that the characters have seemed to become closer is really enjoyable to read.
Oo a new Defense against the dark arts teacher? I wonder if they'll be suspicious like?
Awesome chapter!

alicia and anne
Slythein

Author's Response: Those pesky dementors! Yes, I had to throw them in somehow as I imagine it was a bit like HBP as far as Diagon Alley and going out in public were concerned. And I wanted my girls to be directly affected rather than just reading about stuff all the time. It's not the same otherwise.

Ah, Viridian. I'm really fond of him, you know, though I have no idea what possessed me to make his appearance like that. Inspired, I think! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
You had me fooled! I thought you were British. Actually, I thought you might be part Scottish, with how well you do Mary's accent.

I get the feeling the new Defense teacher is going to be much more than meets the eye.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Why thank you! No, not British, but I did have some Scottish people laying bets on which part of the country Mary was from, so I must have done that reasonably well. (The money was all on the Aberdeen area so I succumbed and told them she was, hahaha.) It's all research, I'm afraid, and a lot of it. Must have paid off though so I'm feeling kind of validated now. :)

And yeah, good old Viridian. I'm not sure why I made him look like that but it did serve as some comic relief.

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by theelderwand 

20th August 2010:
Glad to see Laura and Mary have been completely brought into the fold. The Dementor attack caught me off gaurd, but I thought it was excellently placed. The war is in full swing and will only get worse. I'm naturally apprehensive as to what you're going to do with your OC's thru the course of the war - if they live that long, even, as I'm not sure at what point, time line wise, this tale will end. Regardless, I hope they make it thru, although it seems doubtful given that you're adhereing to canon.

The new DADA professor was a nice touch. I'm wondering what you're going to do with him, or if we'll find out what happened to his predecessor.

Off for more...

Eldy

Author's Response: Yes, the girls are a group of five now - though they still group off within that to their original friendships, as you would expect teenaged girls to do. But yes, Laura and Mary are officially part of the group, which was an important step for them to make.

My lips are sealed as to the fate of my OCs. I know you've read to the end but to comment on that at this early stage has far too much potential for spoilers and I don't do those. Needless to say yes, I am keeping to canon, and that's all I will say about that. :)

As for Viridian, I'm rather fond of him all told. It was a shame to have to get rid of him at the end of the year, really.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

19th August 2010:
I almost forgot that the Patronus wasn't actually a spell they were taught, so I was surprised when no-one whipped out their wands and performed one. You had Dumbledore completely, perfectly written, was he ever a man of many words? Clearly not. I did love James and Sirius's little talk at the end, I admire James's determination, despite everything! I'm loving this fic, and look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the Patronus was spoken about in the canon as being very advanced and the court was very surprised that Harry, as a fifth year, could do one. Therefore I thought it was reasonable that a bunch of fifth year girls hadn't yet been taught it. Glad you liked it!

I'm also very pleased that you like my version of Dumbledore because he's such a difficult character to get right. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
"There is a time and a place for speeches," he said from his position in the middle of the Head Table, "and I am sure that I will be advised if any of you find it. So, in the absence of anything more formal, dig in!" - another brilliant bit of characterisation from you, as was all of Dumbledore's speeches in this chapter.

However, my favourite bit was still the inclusion of Laura and Mary in the cool kids' day out. It has been really believable, the way they have slowly bonded as a group, without any single major event, or without any sudden shifts in personality. As ever, the plot flows smoothly and believably, leading to the ever present desire to keep reading, as well as the one to simply enjoy the scenes currently being presented.

The new DADA teacher certainly sounds interesting, and I look forward to seeing whether or not he lives up to his appearance. As stated, Dumbledore knows how important a subject it is, but then again, how many options can he have left for the post?

Glad to see the Laura's enjoying the lack of notoriety that has come from Bea leaving - just remains to be seen whether it'll have any impact on the Marauders!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, good old Dumbledore. I have no idea where in my subconscious that particular line came from but it just seemed to fit him so well. Glad you liked it!! :)

Also very pleased that the slow blossoming of friendships between all the girls is believable, because that was something I wanted to get right. I've read too many of these things where all of a sudden the girl with no friends is buddy-buddy with Lily and the Marauders for no apparent reason, and it bugs me no end. If you're going to do it, at least try to make it realistic.

Okay. Rant over. :)

I'm rather fond of Viridian all told and it was a shame to have to get rid of him at the end of sixth year. And yes, looks can be deceiving, as is revealed later on.

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
i like how the relationship between all the girls is growing.

Author's Response: Yes, I tried to make it organic in that it developed naturally without anything major or too fast that felt unrealistic. Glad you think it's working! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by ericajen 

27th July 2010:
Aw. Poor Professor Viridian. That's quite unfortunate.

Anyway, I'm really excted to see what this year has in store for Laura and co. I have a feeling things will be getting pretty interesting soon here.

Author's Response: Hahaha. Yes, poor Professor Viridian. I admit that I had no real reason to make him look like that aside from the fact that it was fun, but it was a nice little touch I thought. :)

And yes, sixth year has a lot in store for our Laura, as you know by now. With Bea not around she can really flourish.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by HermioneTwin44 

7th July 2010:
This is really good!! Just one thing; (i am not British either it's just a pet peeve of mine) At some point you spelled honor honour which is incorrect. It' nothing personal in fact I've read a bunch of stories with the same miss-spelling.

Author's Response: Hi again!

I think you must be American, because the "our" spelling of words like honour, colour, neighbour and the like are the UK spellings of these words. In fact, even Canada uses those spellings so I believe that the US is the only place that officially removes the "u" from those words. In other words, this is not a misspelling, just the correct spelling from a different form of English; and as this story is set in the UK I have used UK spellings througout. You may also notice "ise" instead of "ize" in words like "realise", and "duelling" in UK English has two Ls, whereas in the US it only has one. It's just alternative spellings.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Mrs Padfoot 

20th May 2010:
Well you've been doing pretty well in terms of slang etc, but most people call pikelets crumpets, and stoush is seriously a word I had never heard before. Are you aussie?

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thanks for that - I'll go through and remove the word "stoush" from the narrative. You're the first person who's picked up on that word so I appreciate it. As for pikelets/crumpets, well I was told by a Welsh person that pikelets are a particularly Welsh thing, but I'll go back and check on that too. Where I live pikelets and crumpets refer to different things but I'm happy to be corrected on this score.

As for being Aussie,well I'll admit to having lived there, but I won't admit to where I am from, I'm afraid ... I do love my anonymity and the most I've told anyone is that I'm from a Commonwealth country. Sorry about that. It was a good guess, though :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by lisa 

15th May 2010:
As a Scottish person i must say the written interpretation mf my national accent is poor. eg, Scots can say 'is' rather than i'. i would recommend watching the film 'water horse-legend of the deep' as the actors are mostly scottish.
Story is awesom btw!

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! Thanks for the review!

And thank you for the feedback on Mary's accent. I have had some Scottish people think it was done well, but then again different people have different views of things. I will say though that the contraction "i'" is meant to be a shortened version of "in" rather than "is" - if I have used it for "is" anywhere then that is an error and I'll have to go back and fix it. I will try to watch that film once I have some spare time but unfortunately as a working mother this time is rather limited... however, all input is gratefully appreciated and I would like to learn how to do this better so I will definitely try.

Glad you like the story otherwise, though. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by ochalke5 

5th January 2010:
Wow! I loved it, although, i love all your work so i suppose i'm a bit bias! xD This story is just so amazing. I really do love it and i think that although you are not British, it does not matter because your writing is just that good that the fact you don't always us "British" words doesn't really matter! It was wonderful! Brilliant even! I love it as i do the other chapters as i do this story! So keep up the amazing work!!
10/10
Really amazing, Mel
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

And thanks for saying that it doesn't matter that I'm not British. It's been an interesting journey trying to make sure I get it all right but I seem to be managing OK, and I have some lovely British readers who point out incorrect word choices to me so I can go back and change them. It all helps to make it more authentic, if you know what I mean.

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by nextgenoration 

4th November 2009:
You. Aren't. British. ?

Well holy fizzle I didn't see that one coming. I'm not British either and I'm having a really hard time trying to make my characters so, but now I guess there is indeed hope out there. You really fooled me.

So about your story, it's really fantastic. I love, love, love (!) Laura and Mary and everything about this story so far. And I must say, it's quite the relief to finally read something on fan fic that actually corresponds with the canon. I mean holy (insert word of choice here), you have it spot on! The characters are just like you perceive them to be in the pensieve! You certainly must have done a lot of research!

And about this on-looker who picks up on everything and has a wicked sense of humor not to mention integrity, that Laura is, wow. It is brilliant. I love how she's not the center of the attention. It's great. And I'm actually finding myself squealing at moments in this story like I did in the actual HP books. Really wonderful, you have talent. BEYOND talent.

I shall read on!

note: I hope to see more Remus romance, he is my favorite character! (of the boys :))

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review! :D

No, I'm not British. Though I'm not American either (and I am guessing from your spelling that you are from either the US or Canada), so there was less difference in the versions of English for me to have to traverse. I will say however that a good British slang dictionary (there are some great ones online) and making sure that your word processor is set to UK English will work wonders when you're trying to make a fanfic sound authentic. You can also make the forums your friend - there are a lot of Brits on there who are more than happy to help out with phrasing if you ask nicely.

And yes, I did a lot of research. I trawled through the Lexicon looking for anything relevant to my time period and I studied the canon characters, the way they moved, their figures of speech, what other people said about them, all that sort of thing to try to get it right. And you're not the first person who's said that they could be plucked from the books and that really does make my day. Because an awful lot of work went into them so it's just fantastic to have that validated. *beams*

I'm also very pleased that you like Laura and Mary. I admit it is a bit different to have your main protagonist more of an onlooker than a participant (though that does change as she gets more confidence in sixth and seventh years) but no, Laura's not the centre of attention or anything like that. It was more of a challenge to get a believable Sirius/OC story out of a character like that, so I enjoyed trying. So fulfilling when you get it even vaguely right! :D

As for Remus romance ... well my lips are sealed. I have taken your request on board though.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #25, by Josie 

16th October 2009:
wow! i thought u were british! u have amazing spelling i'm pants and i am british! LOVE the story :D

Author's Response: Wow, thanks Josie! That means that all my research has paid off :D It's great that I can fool people that well! *beams*

So pleased that you like my story, I'm always happy to find a new reader. :)

cheers, Mel


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