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44 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Guest. 

31st December 2016:
I love this, I really do. :D

I love James and I always imagined him like this xD You are hilarious. The writing style is easy on the eyes and brains to process without a dictionary lurking on the next tab with me.

You have managed to write secondary female characters and make them look good and bad at the same time. I have seen a lot of Fics in which girls are just shown as "sluts" except of course the heroine and this was better.

I like meta. I have a feeling there is more to her (I think she has something going with Bink for some reason...Eh..). I can see she is annoying and she is yet not a "slut", yet not a bimbo, yet not a girl who has got hots for James. (It's a compliment). I think I would like her more with sarcastic remarks on James.

Fred should be seen with Roxanne...She is her little sister I mean.

Sometimes, I want to punch James for the sake of Neville and Harry.

But then I think, this is normal and good.

I really really like this story.

Ps- "You know who!"


"Voldemort?"Avery gasped.

Loved this xD

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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

22nd February 2015:
Note to self: Do not take hair pills while reading this story. Will almost choke as you read and laugh and try to swallow at the same time.

Thanks James, my throat hurts now.

What the heck is going on with Bink? He says he’s sick but he’s not sick and then he acts I don’t know all out of sorts. He’s been better? What’s wrong? Lady troubles?

“I wish I saw him more often—the two of you don’t spend much time together, do you?”

HM! ME THINKS PALOMA IS TAKING AN INTEREST TO BOTH POTTER BOYS.

AH-HA!

Please just let her get with Albus I fear she’s another obstacle in the way of Avery and James. Not like anything will happen between them because Avery is the only person he would break the code for.

I can’t wait for the Halloween costumes because you tend to pick the best ones in all of your stories and Halloween always leads to trouble and drama and revelations.

Exciting!

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Review #3, by Jaime88367 

3rd September 2013:
Although the kid in the picture is a cutie, he's a bit young looking to be 16. You should figure out how to age progress pictures then he'll be perfect. Loved Wesley's "Then how do we still have Meta on our team?" line. Very funny.

Author's Response: I actually believe he was in his late teens in that picture. I think he just looks young. Poor Albus.

Thank!


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Review #4, by Love is a Mix Tape 

21st September 2012:
“Oh, go bonk the giant squid,” I snapped in return. Then part of me wondered how long giant squids were supposed to live because Dad talked about it and Uncle Ron talked about it and I bet if I asked Grandma and Grandpa Weasley they’d talk about it too. It should be given the title of Immortal Giant Squid the Great or something fantastic like that.


That made me laugh out loud.

Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! Sometimes James has the weirdest conversations with himself. He's an oddball.

Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!


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Review #5, by hexpixy 

5th May 2012:
The giant squid should have been in the movies...

Author's Response: I'm with you on that. One of my favorite characters. Obviously. Thanks!

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Review #6, by Manga_girl 

8th March 2012:
Another amazingly funny chapter! 10/10

Author's Response: THANKS! I loved writing this one.

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Review #7, by Rita Skeeter 

1st August 2011:
This was good :D i loved loved loved it! Sorry, im hyper cos i just got into Pottermore's early access acount thingy! WOOO!

I love this story so much

Author's Response: Congrats! I got in too! Still waiting for my email. I'm so glad you're liking it--can't wait to see what you think of the rest! Thank you!!

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Review #8, by roxyroxtheworld 

24th June 2011:
wow i love all this chapter...hm i'll give any slytheryn to the Giant Squid's tenticles. but i so loved when james was thinking about the giant squid he said they should name it the immortal giant squid the great or something lol and dang poor Al...guess we found out who put the dixies in the dormitory then hu lol and wow can't wait to find out what paloma and avery are wearing for halloween!!! lol love it!!!

Author's Response: This chapter was so much fun to write. it was delicate and short and just fun. Halloween is always fun, don't you think? thanks for the review!

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Review #9, by Jade 

18th June 2011:
“By all means, don’t let up,” she said, “my arm is still attached.”

“Sorry,” I breathed. “I had to get out of there. I don’t even fancy her, you know.”

“Fancy who?” She pulled open the door and looked back to make sure the rest of the team was on their way.

“You know who!”

“Voldemort?” Avery covered her mouth.



^^
That bit made me laugh hysterically, I love your writing style, it's very fluent, I don;t have to force myself to concentrate if that makes sense, I just do.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I thrive on dialogue, though I really should take a few steps back and throw in some more descriptions...but when it flows sometimes I just can't stop! Thanks!

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Review #10, by munchies 

19th April 2011:
Albus is such a cutie!! I just want to pinch his cheeks :3 I'm sure he'd hate that though! Oh well ;)

I'm very sad about the lack of Nia in this chapter! She should be the star... All right, not. But she'd love that :D



Avery :)

Author's Response: He would totally hate it. But James would love if someone did that. And then James would laugh and poke fun of Albus for several minutes in a row. What family love! If she was the star this story would just run away with itself. But she wants to be the star. She tries to just steal scenes, the saucy girl! Thanks!

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Review #11, by Lillylover22 

15th April 2011:
I loved this chapter!! i have so many favourite quotes!! My favourite two are:
"Hungry?” I said, crouching down beside Victoria’s cage. She made a humming noise so I gave her a bunch more food. “That’s a good Puff. Don’t let Freddie hurt your feelings. He’s a tool. Seriously. He’d be a wrench. Night, Tory!” I flopped up onto my bed and both Fred and Bink gave me a yeah, you’re not masculine at all expression.

AND

Enter: horrible perverted mental images.

haha!! I love this story!! i seriously think James and Avery shoul get together!! 10/10 =]

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right. James should probably just realize he fancies her. And Avery should realize she fancies him. Or he could date Nia and she could fancy Bink. Who knows? haha. Thanks!

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Review #12, by Kathryn Potter 

19th March 2011:
Paloma is starting to get on nerves! she is an annoying character! Im definately going 2 continue reading this! You are a great writer!

Author's Response: Aw, I hope you can grow to like her. She just has hormone issues, haha. Like a typical 16-year-old girl. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so far! I look forward to what you think of future chapters! Thanks!

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Review #13, by soccerj18 

7th February 2011:
I really love James in this story. He is hilarious. Good choice for having it in his POV by the way

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far! My other novel-lenth + the sequel is in a female's POV and I wanted to get away from that for a while since I love to write from a guy's POV more. I like that it caught on! Thank you!!

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Review #14, by me_thehplvr 

2nd January 2011:
"Don’t let Freddie hurt your feelings. He’s a tool. Seriously. He’d be a wrench"

So I'm starting to dislike Paloma a bit more. She seemed alright there for awhile but now. Meh, its just because she's attempting to seduce my man I guess.

I want to see James and Avery break the Code already!! But I guess we'll see what happens when I click next chapter!

((;

Author's Response: I know what you mean, though keep in mind she has no idea that Albus fancies her and James is also very desirable to well, everyone. He's also the sexy Captain and actually has a heart (as much as he is in denial about that). So I think Paloma often gets the short end of the stick since she's sort of out of the know. But I agree, she's seducin' my man and we cna't have any of that, can we?

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Review #15, by rachm34 

26th September 2010:
Okay, one last chapter to read, one last review. Here it is. Before I fall asleep, right now. Because I am going to be dead for school tomorrow.

HERE WE GO. Better make it epic. I am starting to get the idea that I am going insane. But, really, I like reading your stories because they are just so good. Why can't I swear on here? By the way, i found your blog and your twitter. But, I don't have a twitter. Also, you should get a formspring so that your readers can ask you questions about your stories. Just throwing the idea out here.

Now about the chapter:

JAMES BREAK THE CODE AND GO FOR AVERY. I like what you to have got going on. I want to be James' best friend and have that close knit friendship that they have. I get along much better with the boys anyway, and feel close but not that close like some of my friends.

WHY CAN I RELATE SO WELL TO AVERY?

Meta makes me laugh, what a great secondary character. Even when she barely appears in the chapter, I laugh just about the way you write her. Whatta annoying person she is. But, how clever you thought of her for your story. I think she adds to the wonderful dynamics of the story a lot.

Paloma annoys me. Stop being so easy for James to get. And go with Albus. I feel like Paloma and Albus would be such a cute couple. I wish Albus would straighten up and stop being so rude to James. James doesn't even fancy Paloma. I hate how she just drools over James.

JAMES IS MINE TO DROOL OVER. HEY! You should write a character named Rachel: and base her off me. Hahahaha, just kidding. I am overly exhausted that is why this idea and whole review sounds absurd.

I really like this story. I have so many favorite quotes. I must say I read the first chapter months ago, and then somehow never read anymore. I am horrible. But, I'm so happy I am reading it now.


I LOVE THIS. Seriously. Your writing is incredible and flawless. I cannot wait to see what happens because I feel as if this story could move in so many directions.

I don't like Emerson, I'd be over protective of Avery if I were James too. He sounds like a tool in a way. And Clint Lawson is dumb. But the way you write these characters, make them very enjoyable to read.

I love how I feel like I am there in the story. I feel as if I know people who are just like these characters. It's pretty amazing. You really make me feel as if I am in a whole new world reading your story. Not just in this story, but your other ones. What are you trying to pursue in school? Writing? Because, please let me know when you write a book or something. I love this. Oh gosh, I don't think there is enough praise I could give you.

I love the way you get into James' head, and have his thoughts so funny. He makes me want to laugh. And I do wish he were closer to Harry because Harry is also hot. Gosh, darn it. Why do I love so many fictional characters.

I would marry:
Oliver SEXY wood
James Potter 2
James Potter regular
Sirius Black
Fred Weasley
Dodger ;]
blink

and SO many more.

You must think I am insane.
SERIOUSLY, you must be sitting at your computer being like: What is this crazy fan girl thinking?

And also, I love Rupert Grint a lot. I want him to be my husband.

I HAVE GOT TO STOP BEING SO BOY CRAZY
I CAN'T STOP THOUGH
I LOVE BOYS
I LOVE THIS STORY
THIS REVIEW BETTER BE ENDED BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF CONTROL AND OUT OF HAND
I FEEL AS IF THIS IS THE DIRECTION I AM GOING IN


adfjkladskjfdalksjflsdkfj seriously. LOVE THIS

times three billion cajillion dillion zillion million ellion

now I'm just making up words, and sounding insane.

Author's Response: Okay, ignore the part in the last response about me giving you links then, haha :) You should really get a Twitter. Besides following, you can follow the delishified Tom Felton, etc. I update a lot on there. Like...to much. A lot of stuff about the stories, sneak peaks, chapter images, etc. If you want to. I do like the formspring idea. Maybe I'll do that! Though technically that is what my MTA page is for, questions...though no swearing or raunchiness so those would probably be geared toward the formspring or twitter lol.

I really love James. He is so...me. But a boy. And obviously super extreme. But I just get in "moods," I will call them "James Moods" where I just think and type and speak in that mindset. Obviously he's not all me because I'm not insanely obsessive about sports (hockey comes close though), but he's close. He's so passionate and loyal. Love it.

I love Meta. You will find out a lot more about her as the story progresses. All of my secondaries have pretty developed plots in this story, which differs from Keep Away where they only had minor plots. All of which I loved, but this story is a lot longer and thus has lots more plottie plot.

Ah, Paloma. Struck with a big crush on her Captain. Something tells me Paloma has always had a thing for James. Even before he was Captain it was obvious he had a way with the ladies and I am quite sure she thought that since she made the team he might see her in a different light. But you're right, her and Al would be much cuter together. Al just needs to get some things straightened out. And so does James. I'm sure it'll work out :)

Haha. And the character of Rachel would just yell and talk in ALL CAPS all the time. Am I right?? Haha. I am actually doing that for an upcoming character, but I can't give anything away. It was an extenuating circumstance that required a character be made to honor someone. I also based a character (Amanda) in Hide and Seek off a real person. But not in a good way, lol.

haha. It's funny you ask what I went for in school. I actually just got a degree in just that. I can elaborate more in an email, though. Let's just say I know my way around characterization :)

I am definitely not thinking, "What is this crazy fan girl thinking." Honestly, I have a wide smile on my face (also from watching my kitten act like a psycho) and I'm enjoying these reviews so much. They really make my day.

Rupert Grint is a hottie. He looks much better in person. I have photo documentation.

Thank you so much! And don't be down on yourself for making up words. I do it all the time. Twitwards, anyone? haha.



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Review #16, by Mafalda Hopkirk 

9th August 2010:
so funny! i love james' antics.

Author's Response: James is just ridiculous! I love him. Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #17, by MagicallyClumsie 

21st March 2010:
awe al): poor bloke.
“Oh, go bonk the giant squid,"
i have the mental image of fred in a dress now (both orginial and second generation) this is just funny(:

Author's Response: Isn't it a hilarious/disturbing mental image? Definitely. Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #18, by doglover 

1st February 2010:
poor albus severus :(

Author's Response: Poor boy. Hopefully things turn around for him. Thanks for the review!

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Review #19, by Ziska 

28th January 2010:
I love the chapter image for Albus. Poor guy, he did not even really give James the chance to explain. I love James even more in this chapter (I did not think that was possible). He is my favourite character. I would love to feed Emerson and Meta to the giant squid. (actually, I am not sure why i don't like Meta, it's not like she does a lot but James's descriptions just make me hate her.) I can't wait to find out what Avery's costume for halloween is.
as for my favourite quote. it is probably "At least in my dormitory there was less of chance of being surprise-seduced." The term "surprise-seduced" is just brilliant. I laughed so much for that line. I love the story. thanks for writing such a fun chapter. :)

Author's Response: I think a lot of their sibling stuff just got all bottled up and exploded. If you don't know why you hate Meta now, you'll know eventually. I don't paint her in a nice light. Because she shouldn't be. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #20, by Lostaroundlondon 

2nd December 2009:
HELLO! agh. its 12 am. BEAUTIFUL CHAPPIE!! - I think I'm running out of adjectives here... I'm gunna go get a thesaurus before I read the next chapter.

Just wondering... but is it possible there will be Rose/Scorpiusness in the story? I think it could work.. maybe. ALthough, Scorpius is kinda boring, and Rose is a little to uptight... oh well

:( poor Al :(

ON WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Author's Response: No, there will be no Rose/Scorp in this story. I am really sick of every next gen story having Rose/Scorp. It's too predictable, you know? I do enjoy the ship and I am actually planning a R/S story for the future, but not here. Rose would never do that and Scorpius is a Slytherin lackey. And a serious jerk. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Thank you!

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Review #21, by lokita95hp 

23rd November 2009:
ok.. I still want to punch Emerson and Nia... Paloma I do not want to punch I wanna take that beaters bat and bet her up with it...!!... [while she's sleeping] I don't know what is it with her but she annoys me...!!
keep writing [it's a gift only a few have]
xoxo
trouble

Author's Response: I would punch Emerson and Nia too. They just crack me up. Thanks so much for the review, I really appreciate it!

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Review #22, by Allie 

2nd July 2009:
Okay, I'm going to try to give some sort of review on these chapters that i haven't reviewed yet, but seeing as it's been... awhile since i actually read them, it may be quick and stupid. sorry!

as usual, lovely writing!

"By all means, don’t let up," she said, "my arm is still attached."
:) avery is the bomb. gosh.

I feel like Paloma is one of those girls that i would close my eyes and breath in, then open my eyes real big as i exhaled every time i passed her. just to stop myself from beating her to a pulp. You know what I'm talking about? oy, she's a pest. i feel bad for avery!

~Allie

p.s. why does it make funny symbols when i put quotes or apostrophes?! so annoying!

Author's Response: avery really is the bomb. I love her so much, she\\\'s such a fun character to write. Paloma may seem like a pest, but she does mean well. She\\\'s a bit blinded by fancying James at the moment.

I have no idea about the symbols, does that to everyone. It\\\'s rather obnoxious haha. Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #23, by radicallyali 

19th June 2009:
Favorite quote:
“By all means, don’t let up,” she said, “my arm is still attached.”
I like Avery and her witty sense of humor. Her and James are so going to be the ones to break the code.

Author's Response: The Code is just going to get in the way of everything, isn't it? God, it'll be interesting that's for sure. Because of your fun reviews I am going to go write some more :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by invisiblemaurader_1 

18th June 2009:
I think I would pay good money to see Bink in a doctor costume. =] And Avery really should have sent the fort out the window. It would have been a ridiculously brilliant and super wicked end for Fort Ridiculously Awesome and Super Wicked! But hey, that's just me.

James is such a sweetheart. But he's still a total twat. He's more of a twat than Emerson, who, I'll remind you, is still my favorite. I can't help but want to see him in more chapters, even if he's a priggish ass! He's just so cute!

Excellent chapter, and I'm off to review the next!

Author's Response: Gosh, me too. He's such a dish. Too true, I think if James were to get rid of the fort he would have sent it out the window. He'd want it to go out with glory, but Avery just wanted it out haha. I think James and Emerson are both equal twats but in very different ways. I'm glad you liked it, thanks so much!

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Review #25, by gitgit 

16th June 2009:
intriguing
very intriguing
poor james look at the rut he has gotten himself in

Author's Response: He just keeps digging himself a bigger and bigger hole. Hopefully he can climb out of it at one point. Who knows? Thanks so much for the review!

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