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28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Ah, Snape's Worst Memory. I knew that this would be coming - in a story like this it's too major not to be included - and I wonder how you'd write it. It's brilliant to have Laura as one of the girls by the lake that Lily had been sitting with in this moment, and then for the girls to view it all from a different perspective. I thought you did a good job of retelling a moment we all know and giving it your own twist, by adding some insight as to how Lily felt afterwards and the fact that she does actually like James (which we knew, but now she's admitted).

I loved the apology that you included from Sirius! I know that, like Mary said, it was definitely more at the prompting of Remus that he did it, but it was quite nice to see Sirius humbled and see that Remus can have a good influence on his friends at times and make them see things they wouldn't have otherwise. It was cute to read! And then the final part when Bea graduated - Laura sounded quite detached about the whole thing but really I can understand that. She's had so many problems being overshadowed by Bea and struggling because of her reputation that it's going to be a relief for her next year when she can just be herself!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, Snape's worst memory. IT had to be there, and I like to think I put my own twist on it, though really I'm sure it's been covered so much that just about everything ahs been done before. But yeah, Laura's one of the girls by the lake. I think my favourite part is quite possibly Lily thrusting her bare feet in the lake at the end, as if that would make it all go away. And yeah, she does like James. She just has a bit of self denial going on there. :)

As for the apology, well all I'll say there is that what Laura and Mary assume is not necessarily the case. But yes, Remus is a good influence. I think he tried hard to be, but recognised that it wouldnt' always work. As for Bea's graduation, well yes she is rather detached, but then again she and Bea aren't all that close. She spends a lot of time wtih her, but that's not the same thing, and by this stage of her life she is recognising that Bea is holding her back in a lot of ways. I've reworded that for hte revised version but yeah, that's where I was coming from there.

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by Lily Potter 

14th February 2013:
I love this story. Melian, please write more for us fans!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm in the process of writing a story about Neville's seventh year so you can have a look at that if you like; other than that I've been working on some original fiction. Thanks for the review!

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Olga 

30th December 2012:
I can't believe he actually apologized!

Author's Response: Ah, well, even sixteen year old Sirius can see when he's in the wrong occasionally. I quite like that in him, to tell the truth.

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Ciara 

3rd November 2012:
I know know why this story was rated most addictive. i CANNOT STOP READING!! I looove it!!

Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm so pleased you're enjoying it so much.

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
Great chapter. I can understand how laura feels 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Ah, so can I . Glad it was relatable.

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by PotterFan 

19th January 2012:
I think this is my favourite chapter... particularly liked the part from the HP book, Order of the Phoenix.

Author's Response: Ah, yes, that was important to include, don't you think? Such an integral part of how we understand the Marauders to have been at that age. Glad you enjoyed it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by singer123 

12th December 2011:
Laura is too nice and obedient..
She deserved that apology from Sirius..
WOW! Sirius Black has a heart.. and a mind too!

Author's Response: We always knew Sirius had both a mind and a heart, it was just a case of when he chose to demonstrate those facts (and how he chose to do it). Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by classicblack 

12th October 2011:
The ending was great. I liked Laura's thoughts on Beas graduation- very amusing :) You're interpretation of Snape's Worst Memory was awesome, especially with the limited number of quotes you're allowed to take from the book. Fabulous job! I can't wait to see how the summer holidays progress, and I'm looking forward to Sirus and Laura getting together!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm so pleased you liked the Snape's Worst Memory scene, especially as, as you said, there was a limit to what I could quote from the books in it. I thought it was important to show it from this POV and offer my interpretation of what Lily's motivations actually were. As for Bea's graduation, well I think Laura was just being realistic, don't you? Hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by alicia and anne 

5th August 2011:
I love how you included Snapes worst memory, it fit in so well as though you had written it in yourself. Although I still find it sad that Lily and Severus aren't talking anymore :-(
Sirius Black apologising for a second time? this cannot be! surely hell shall be freezing over! haha
And finally Laura can shine on her own when she goes back to Hogwarts instead of being in her sisters shadow, we can see her really come into her own now :-D

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Yes, Snape's Worst Memory. Of course it had to be included, didn't it, even if it's seen from an outsider's perspective. And while it is sad to see a friendship end, I feel little sympathy for Snape because he did bring it upon himself. He made the decision about how to spend his time, and it was diametrically opposed to what she wanted.

As for the apology, well yes, it was definitely unexpected, as you can see from Laura's reaction. Hell freezing over indeed. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
Damn that Snape.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Teehee. And poor Lily, too - she didn't deserve that treatment. Again, though, it's canon so it had to be in there. You can blame JKR for that one. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by theelderwand 

19th August 2010:
Excellent chapter, but my editor's urge sprung up again:

"Severus had managed to get to his wand back and" this needs a clean up. Ok. Editor's hat off.

I thought the integration of the Snape/James confrontation was very well done; it looks like the ToS gave you some headaches but the finished product was stellar. You've been leading up to this, kind of like it was the cornerstone this story was built on. You've done it in such a convincing way that its seamless both in the context of this chapter and the rest of the tale. That's some fine writing.

This was one of my favorite parts:

"Because you know that, deep down, hes a good person," Charlotte said evenly. "He just hasnt got to that yet."

Perfect!

And I thought this was a great flourish:

" 'Girls,' she said before we could give the password, 'I dont think you should say the password out loud tonight. Not in present company.' And she swung open in front of our gobsmacked faces."

THis kind of flourish requires a keen eye for detail.

Finally, the fact that Laura knows what is expected of her (going to Bea's graduation) will never be expected of Bea, nor will Bea even bother to return the kindness struck me as...I don't know how to describe it. Unjust? Unfair? Frustrating? All of the above, and more I suppose. But at the same time its good to see Laura recognizing that her sister really is a burden, dead weight. And also, that she is not only a better person that Bea, but a better witch.

You're maturing everyone here right before our eyes and your doing it wonderfully.

Eldy

Author's Response: Edit made. And thanks for pointing that one out, it seems to have been missed by everyone else including me. :)

I was really looking forward to posting the Snapes Worst Memory scene but yes, there were some hiccups with the ToS. Which isn't a big deal because it's all a learning experience and we got it right in the end. I thought it was important to show this scene, though, with Lily NOT hating James but rather just being disappointed in him, which is what that quote from Charlotte that you singled out is supposed to highlight. JKR has said that she didn't hate him, and I never really thought she did (the way she was trying not to smile was a hint at that) but there aren't a lot of fics set in this era that approach it this way so I was very keen to get it out there.

As for Bea's graduation, well again it's just something that Laura accepts. And if she's honest with herself she'd probably prefer that Bea NOT go to her graduation anyway. :) She does realise that her sister is a dead weight, but blood ties are strong and you also have to remember that things have been this way her whole life, so she's never known anything different.

But yes, they're all supposed to be maturing. That's what teenagers do, after all. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

18th August 2010:
A wonderful selection of quotes from Snape's Worst Memory! I don't think they could have been more powerful than they were, they were essentially the quotes I can always remember from that chapter simply because of the significance they carried. I particularly like the few paragraph's on Laura's feelings about Bea, I thought for a while there that perhaps she wouldn't ever express these fully but now here I stand astounded that she finally has. It's interesting how she despite being described as brilliant could never apply herself to a specific topic or study. Laura's reaction to this was interesting also. Yet another brilliant chapter!

Author's Response: I'm very pleased that you like the quotes I chose for this scene because, as you appreciate, with the ToS I had to pick them pretty carefully. It was fun doing this scene from a different POV and putting a new slant on it, because as you know I never thought that Lily actually hated James and I thought that was important to get across.

As for Laura's reflections about Bea, I think they were pretty normal for a kid of that age in that situation. And Bea, like many brilliant people, had just coasted through life and never learned to study because she'd never needed to. It's only the ones who learn to apply themselves properly that really make anything of their lives - there are plenty of brilliant people out there who never really do anything because they're not used to the effort required.

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Sirius apologised? SIRIUS apologised? I need to go and lie down.

OK, I'm back, and I'm so happy to see that the Marauders (read: Remus) have realised how mistreated Laura is. Is this the beginning of her no longer being treated like moving furniture by the more big-headed members of the group? Or will they be back to their better than everyone ways by the next year?

Not to be an insufferable Brit, but I just don't buy a graduation ceremony. A speech day, perhaps, as they have those at British boarding schools, and prizes would be given out, but getting a graduation certificate... doesn't scan with the rest of Hogwarts set-up, which is resolutely the same as muggle schooling. Just my two pence.

Still, the bit about Laura hoping to outdo her sister one day was awesome - good to know she can be at least a little petty occasionally, as she's generally so mature about things - always letting them go, I guess!

Author's Response: I have absolutely no problem with you not buying a graduation ceremony. The thing is, as you know, I'm not British and we have no canon to base that sort of thing on so I did the usual fallback of basing it on my own experience at school. My graduation ceremony was much less formal than the American versions but yes, there was one. However I've taken your comments from later into the story into account and when I launch a re-writing attack on this story (as several chapters need cleaning up) I will do some revising around this as well. I did want to make it as authentic as possible so it's something I need to hear.

Having said that, none of my other British readers brought this up. I wonder if it's because graduations ceremonies are so rife in fanfics that they've learned to gloss over them or something. :/

Aside from that, yes Sirius apologised, and I'm sorry if this shocked you too much. I wouldn't put too much stock in Laura & Mary's assumptions that it was Remus' doing, though - much of what they assume about these boys, particularly early on, is remarkably off-target. Fun doing all those misdirections, though! *evil grin*

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
bea is gone! next year is gonna be different...

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Bea's gone. That makes the world of difference in Laura's life and I thought that was worth exploring. Bea, in a lot of ways, was what was holding her back and what wasn't letting her develop into her own person. Now she's got 2 years free of her to blossom. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by Schnatz 

3rd May 2010:
Hey Mel,
I've read the next chapter and was absolutely impressed how good you built into Snape's worst memory in your own story. You did a good job with that, and you did a good job with the scene afterwards. Very authentic as always! I only can repeat that I like your spelling style, how you discribe everything and how you build into everything we know from the books :)
I hope I can read and review a little quicker next time,
Schnatz

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, I'm glad you liked this one. The Snape's Worst Memory scene I think has been overly misinterpreted over the years, and this was my view of it so it's how I used it in the story.

As for taking a while to review, well I'm taking a while to respond so don't feel bad. In another week or two the story will all be up on the archive so I'll have less reviews coming in,so I should be able to respond in a more timely manner. :) In the meantime, thanks for your patience.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by ochalke5 

5th January 2010:
Wow, it was a really great chapter. I liked it a lot and I'm glad that Sirius said that stuff whether it was on his own or with some help from his friends. It was really good. The chapters just keep getting better and better! I love it Mel!
10/10
natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

I see that you're not just going to accept Laura and Mary's assumption that the apology was all Remus' idea. Good thinking. Laura makes a lot of assumptions which are not necessarily correct, as you'll see later on, and in this case while Remus had a part in it, it wasn't his idea.

Anyway I'm thrilled that you still like it, I do love it when people appreciate my work. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by pinaygrl3123 

11th October 2009:
I love all of your chapters. There just isn't a chapter that I don't like. Seriously. I'm glad that all their examinations are over, that much bave been murder to go through, poor Peter.. and I feel for that poor examiner that happened to go missing like that. Thank goodness for Dumbledore, seriously. That does constitute a pretty bad memory for a person.. I mean having that done to you in front of a group full of people jeering at you than having the person you like bearing witness as well? DAMN. But he was wrong to say that to her, that had to be his biggest mistake. And I LOOOVED Sirius apologizing to Laura like that. About time he opened his eyes to what was going on around him. And Congrats to Bea on graduation Hogwarts, aw..

Author's Response: Yet another lovely review! Thank you! :D

Yes, good that exams are over, they would have to be particularly trying I would think. And yes, that poor examiner Peter Vanished. I did like that as a touch. *grins*

I tried to cover Snape's worst memory in the fairest way possible, remembering that it was what broke their friendship up, but also with my interpretation that Lily didn't hate James, she was just waiting for him to grow upa bit.

Ah, the apology. I quite liked that one too. I have tried to make him, for the most part, fair.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #18, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

10th October 2009:
THAT WAS AWESOME! I really enjoyed reading this chapter. When Sirius apologized i had to pick my jaw up off the keyboard!!! I will say it again it is like reading the parts that JK left out. Are u sure you arent JK and you are just having fun with us LOL!!! Another great chapter and I am really enjoying your story.

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for another awesome review! :D

Ah, Sirius. No matter what else I made him, I tried to make him fair. That is, fair when it came to people who he didn't already despise (eg Snape) - I don't think his fairness would extend that far (lol).

And wow, you're still thinking I'm like JKR? I'm flabbergasted. Not to mention completely flattered. I can definitely say though that I am NOT her and about all we have in common (that I know of) is our gender. And species. You know what I mean. :D

Anyway, thanks again! I love reading your reviews.
cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by nire 

17th September 2009:
Yay! Snape’s worst memory. I was wondering when this was going to come up! Your little flare to it is very nice. I like how it has tied into the rest of the story. It fits perfectly.
I liked how you included Sectumsempra in there – and how it was used. It tied well with the fact that James used levicorpus. I can just imagine how mad Snape would have been to be jinxed by his own spell. I get why he was so mad at Harry now in HBP. Totally makes sense seeing as he looks so much like James. Ahh .. I’ll say it again... you’re amazing!

“Because you know that, deep down, he’s a good person,” said Charlotte evenly. “He just hasn’t got to that yet.”
So true! So true indeed! Just wait a year or so Lily.. he is going to be amazing!
Sometimes I think I’m gushing far too much about the wrong person. This is a Sirius story after all. My apologies if you think I’m paying too much attention to James and Lily. Sometimes I can’t help myself.

“I did a bit, didn’t I?” she said quietly, for the first time not denying she fancied James. “But Sev – how could he have said that?”
Oh wow! Yeah! Which means she doesn’t act on these feelings for a long time! If you’re keeping it true to canon.. which I think is not until 7th... I think that is what Remus says anyway.

“But he’ll be horrified!” she said, her green eyes widening. “He’ll think I’m awful!”

I joined in the general laughter. “Lily,” I told her, “I wouldn’t get too worried if I were you. I suspect you could compare him to You-Know-Who himself, and James wouldn’t take offence.”

Lily is actually worried about what she has said to James he will take personally? Wow. She really doesn’t see any of this clearly at all, does she?
Laura has it right... although I imagine James might ark up a bit if he was being compared with Voldemort haha!

“Cauldwell. Macdonald. You have to help me.” He sounded as bereft as he looked.
Wow. I can’t believe he has the nerve to do that! Especially after last time he came up to them in the corridor.

we were interrupted by Sirius Black who was hovering by our table, his hands deep in his pockets, looking rather sheepish. Standing a little way behind him, obviously encouraging him, was Remus.
Ha! I love it! And good on Remus for encouraging it! I suspect he gave him the idea as well.

“Well, yes,” I said, rather impressed that he’d recognised that. I hadn’t expected him to think past what I had actually said. In fact, I hadn’t expected him to even remember what I’d said after five minutes had passed.
Wow. I’m impressed as well. Even I didn’t pick up on that! I feel like a bit of a ninny for not realising it either!

He nodded again and rose from the table, going back to Remus, who grinned broadly and slapped him on the back as they made their way up the boys’ stairs.
I loved the visual imagery of Remus slapping him on the back. I really enjoyed that. I’m glad Remus was there to egg him on and to be there giving him a pat on the back when he finished. I just really hope that Sirius had thought more about it himself, rather than Remus helping him out when deciphering her words.

I liked Laura’s monologue at the end there. I enjoyed reading about her feelings to do with Bea’s departure. I can’t wait til next year. It’s definitely going to be so different for her!

10/10!

Author's Response: Hi again! Love your reviews! :D

I'm so pleased you liked my little take on Snape's worst memory. Like I said before I didn't think it was evidence of Lily hating James (in fact JKR said as much in an interview after the book was released) but she was frustrated with his behaviour, as Charlotte pointed out (and you quoted above). He's a good guy, he's just got some growing up to do.

And yes, they get together in seventh year in this story too. There's still a long way to go with that subplot. And don't worry, I don't mind you gushing about James in the least. Like I said the James/Lily story is taking centre stage at the moment because there isn't much happening to Laura. Though that does change in sixth year.

As for the apology, well you have fallen into the trap of thinking that Laura's interpretation of things is actually correct. I've written that scene from Sirius' POV as well to make sure I got it right from a characterisation perspective and I can say that you can't give all the credit to Remus in this situation. But that's all I'm saying there. *evil grin*

As for Bea's graduation, yes Laura's thoughts on that were definitely intended to be revealing. She's got a lot of growing up to do (read: blossoming) in sixth and seventh years once Bea is out of the way!

I've said it before but I'll say it again - LOVE your reviews :D
Mel


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Review #20, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl 

10th August 2009:
AHHH!!! I am so terribly sorry for abandoning you for so long!!! I absolutely loved every chapter I read of this so far, but have been too busy/lazy for a while now to come back and keep reading!!!

But I've missed it =] Anyways, this was another great addition - you're still doing a lovely job developing your characters and I'm dying to see what other lovely stuff awaits me in further chapters!!!

Sorry for being gone so long - I'm back ;)

~CBG

Author's Response: Thanks for your apology but you don't need to be sorry, after all you're the one doing me a favour by reading and reviewing :D I just feel priveleged that such lovely people are paying attention to this little yarn I dreamed up.

Anyway it's great to have you back and I hope you keep on reading :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by burnt august 

21st July 2009:
finally laura can enjoy hogwarts without her insane sister heh.. although i do love to hear about the crazy things she does

Author's Response: Hmm, I thought I'd responded to this but the system seems to have lost it! Oh well.

I'm glad that you appreciate that for Laura, having a sister like Bea could be a hindrance to, well, trying to be normal, so yes life at Hogwarts for the next couple of years will be much more interesting.

I'm glad you liked Bea, though - she's a great character to write but would be a nightmare to be related to. Particularly if you're a teenager who's trying to work out who she is and all that. I will say though that we don't see much of her for the rest of the story now she's graduated.

thanks again for your reviews, it's great to find such a dedicated reviewer. :)

Mel.


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Review #22, by MyPseudonym 

20th June 2009:
This was a great chapter - it was good to see some interaction between Sirius/Laura, and I especially love your Lily/James story - that Lily knows James is a good guy, and likes him deep down but he "hasn't got there yet" it's an interesting twist on the traditional Lily-hating-James idea.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

x

Author's Response: Gee, thanks MyPseudonym! It's funny that all the fanfics you see (well, not all, but a lot of them) have Lily hating James all the way up to seventh year, but I've never seen it like that. Maybe because I can remember being a teenaged girl and how I behaved to various crushes over the years :)

Anyway, I'm really glad that you're still reading and enjoying this story, and you'll be pleased to know that the Sirius/Laura thing starts hotting up (for want of a better phrase) during sixth year so hopefully you'll enjoy reading that.

thanks again
Mel.


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Review #23, by Evans_Potter_Perfection 

19th June 2009:
excellent. really brilliant!
=D
update soon!
...o and just a suggestion, if u want to put emphasis on something, use italics not underlining.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks Evans_Potter_Perfection! It's so nice to know that more and more people are finding this story and enjoying it :)

As for the italics/underline thing, thanks for the suggestion. I've done it this way because I've put the spells in italics and I didn't want any confusion about what was a spell and what was highlighted for emphasis, but if it's too much of a problem I'll look at going through and changing it.

thanks again, and I hope you keep on reading. Next chapter will be posted as soon as the queue re-opens later this week.

cheers
Mel


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Review #24, by Eva 

16th June 2009:
Wow! This is probably THE best story I've read on all of hpff EVER. I really like how you put lots of thought into your chapters and plan them out accordingly so that everything flows. You do use some of JKR's ideas which is nice because it adds some familiarity, but you also have a great knack for coming up with really funny, creative scenarios! It's only been 16 chapters but the characters are well developed and it's going great. And It's really nice how you don't have Sirius and Laura making babies (lol) by like the 5th chapter and you're slowly letting their relationship grow. Great job!! Please keep updating!! :)
much love!

Author's Response: Wow, thanks Eva! I'm so glad that you found my little story and are enjoying it :) I am trying to keep as close to canon as I can (and therefore you will find all sorts of familiar-ish moments throughout) but thanks so much for your compliment about me coming up with creative scenarios, let me tell you that it's not nearly as easy as it seems. So I'm really really pleased that you think it's coming along well, it means that I'm definitely doing something right. :)

Thanks again and I hope you keep on reading and putting in the occasional review, it really means a lot to me that people like what I've written.

cheers
Mel


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Review #25, by NorahGP7 

16th June 2009:
Hey I'm a new reader and I love it!
I hope that Mary was wrong and that Sirius apologized not because he was forced to, but because he wanted to. I hope the next chapter has great Sirius and Laura moments!
Update soon!

~Norah

Author's Response: Hi NorahGP7! Thanks so much for the review, I'm really pleased that I'm finding new readers who seem to be enjoying my story.

You've got it spot on that what Laura and Mary assume isn't necessarily what is actually the case, and they've made assumptions about James and Sirius in particular that aren't particularly accurate. Having said that, I'm not going to say whose idea the apology was at this point (I may reveal that later), so you're going to have to stew on that for a bit. Sorry!

Anyway thanks again for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it, and the next chapter will be posted once the queue re-opens next week.

cheers
Mel


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