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21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
What a packed chapter! I love the fact that there's so much detail in this story because it really makes it feel like the lives of the characters you've created are very believable and realistic. I can imagine Lily being really upset about Snape being so mean about Remus - of course, she doesn't know yet that it's true. But Snape meant it maliciously all the same. I liked the way that you handled the incident when Sirius told Snape to go down the passage, though; I was wondering how it would appear in this story because it's quite significant. It's great being the reader and having knowledge that Laura doesn't for moments like this, and I was glad to see the other Marauders give Sirius the cold shoulder.

Laura's character is definitely developing through this story and she's growing more confident and bolder, even though we're just 11 chapters in. She's definitely a lion - standing up for what is right and not backing down to insults. What a shame it earned her a detention this time!

I was glad to see Mary leaving the hospital wing, and that she's okay, although I think an incident like that will leave its mark on her in the future. The other girls in the dormitory are really nice and it's great Mary and Laura are becoming more included with them too!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thanks Sian! I thought it was important to cover both the werewolf story Snape was spreading (and yes, Lily doesn't yet know that it's true so she is furious at him for saying something so nasty) and the other boys' reaction to what Sirius did, which I do think would have been disgust. First of all he was risking Remus' secret, and secondly he could have been responsible for his best friend killing or turning someone, and I don't think James or Remus would have been very impressed iwth that. So I'm glad you liked my treatment of it, though as you say it had to be truncated a little as Laura knows next to nothing about what's going on.

As for Mary, well yes, she's not quite the same after that little incident with Mulciber. REally, who would be?

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
I love mary 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thanks! Me too :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by classicblack 

12th October 2011:
A pretty light-hearted chapter, excluding the beginning of course, I think. I really liked it. And of course, I'll have to mention that I'm still pretty pro Laura-Remus (sorry:/). Anyway, I'm sure that will change overtime.
I like that Laura told Remus that Lily really does like James; perhaps this is a foreshadowing to the after-the-OWLs incident? Anyhoo, great job! Oh and I forgot to say: YAY, Mary's back!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Ah, you're allowed to be pro Laura/Remus. That may change, though, as the story progresses. Or it may not. Entirely up to you, I guess! :D

And yes, a light hearted chapter. There are a few of those because you can't have full-on drama all the time, and it helps lighten the mood a bit. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by alicia and anne 

5th August 2011:
Those death eaters are nasty! I still can't believe that they're still in the school!
Awww Remus is so nice! walking her back and making her feel so at ease. You have got what I imagine the marauders to be down to a 'T'
Ha I would have classed all of those spells as charms too, never thought it would be transfiguration.
Yay! Mary's out of hospital!
:-D Another great chapter.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: You have to remember that Dumbledore is remarkably forgiving. Sirius stayed (we believe) after sending Snape down the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack; Malfoy stayed even though he was actively trying to kill the Headmaster; Harry stayed after Sectumsempra-ing Malfoy. Hagrid was expelled in the Chamber of Secrets incident, yes, but Dumbledore wasn't headmaster then. We don't actually hear of any expulsions under Dumbledore's reign - he tried to rehabilitate rather than expel - so I think that's what would have happened here.

And yeah, I do like Remus here. Their conversatoin flowed so naturally. If only this wasn't pre-ordained to be a Sirius/OC story, hahaha. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
You handled the Whomping Willow situation elegantly. I wondered when that would come up.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! Like the Mulciber/Mary thing, it did have to come up in this story but I was a little hamstrung because at this stage my narrator is not close to the people concerned at all, and therefore it had to be done from a bit of a distance. Very pleased you think I did it justice. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by theelderwand 

19th August 2010:
Its just too true that, in the few final years at any school, people your age that you knew only casually in your first few years become closer and closer friends. You've shown that and developed the plot point like a pro.

really nice to see the whole Potter saving Snape's life story line weaved in here. And I really liked the flourish of the Marauders exhiling Sirius for a while because of it.

Lupin's character is such an old soul. It just makes infinite sense that Lupin at 16 would so resemble the Lupin from the Hogwarts era. I think that was a very wise flourish. His growing friendship with Laura is great, and appears to be yet another pathway to getting Lily to finally get with James. As it should be.

Great stuff Mel, Great stuff.

Eldy

Author's Response: Ah, the Werewolf Prank. It was a bit of a challenge to put it in from the POV of someone who knows so little and make it believable, but in it had to go. And don't you think that Sirius would have been in the doghouse (no pun intended) after doing that? It was after all a huge risk for Moony and for James when he went in to save him.

As for Lupin himself, well I figured there may not be a huge amount of difference between the one we know from the books and what he was like as a teenager. Younger and less mature, of course, but there woudl be aspects of the older Lupin, simply because he'd had to live through (and suppress) so much due to his condition. Glad you like it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

18th August 2010:
There are so many tie-in's with the very little we know about the Marauder's era! Yet at the same time, they work so perfectly it's almost too much to get my head around. The only thing that stopped me reading this fic was my internet suddenly being cut off by a blackout and believe me, I was not all that keen on waiting for the power to come back on! I particularly loved the use of James's recuse of Snape, I rarely see this from another perspective, in fact this may be the second fic I have ever read that even references it during that era and the uncertainty behind it really added to the overall suspense and mystery of the event. Well done and I must continue on!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, we have so little actual canon about the Marauder era that it seemed a shame not to use every last scrap of it that I could. It's great when people recognise that and appreciate it because it means that my hard work didn't go to waste, so thank you. :D

The Werewolf Incidenet was something that certainly had to be dealt with, but it was tricky trying to get the right perspective for an outsider's POV. I like to think that I got that reasonably well so I'm very pleased that you like it too. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
OMG, I've just worked out exactly why I like Laura so much - she has worse self esteem problems than me!! It's so sad that she doesn't feel allowed to ask James or Sirius for help with her studies. It is also worryingly realistic - cool kids just do not help uncool kids with homework, unless said uncool kid can work out how to not let the barrier be an issue.

Another brilliant foray into the world of teenage drama, being both completely canon and highly like real life issues. It really helps the reader imagine what it might be like on a day to day basis in Hogwarts, for someone who isn't in a constant angst-fest like most the canon characters.

And agin, a lovely interlude with Remus - I'm really growing attached to him in this story, which is rare for me, particularly in those stories where he's not portrayed as another James and Sirius clone. He's just so sweet, and warm... hope he and Charlotte end up together, as he deserves a happy ending in all this, even if he doesn't get one in the eventual post school days canon.

Author's Response: Yes, Laura's self esteem, especially in fifth year, is truly lamentable, though of course she doesn't realise that herself. I just remember when I was at school, though - asking the cool kids for help just wasn't done. And I didn't see why Hogwarts should be any different. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
yay mary is back!!! :D

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Mary's back. She couldn't stay in the hospital wing for the whole story, could she? It was important for Laura to have that little bit of time without her, though, to develop the other friendships. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Helena 

21st March 2010:
omg I love the way Lupin always tries to cheer Laura up... i got the theory that he's got a bit of a crush on him... :) But don't tell me, I wanna find out myself ;)

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Yes, good old Remus. He's a lovely guy. Whether there is a crush involved, however, remains to be seen - you'll find out eventually. *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by ochalke5 

4th January 2010:
I love Remus. It's a great chapter, i just want to see what happens next! I love it, Mel!! Keep up the amazing writing! Wow... just wow!
10/10
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

Yeah, Remus is a sweetie, isn't he? I'm very fond of him myself. Has a few problems, of course, but overall a lovely guy.

So glad you're persevering and still enjoying my story, that really does mean a lot to me. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by make you want it 

29th October 2009:
Well I have now read 14 chapters with out stopping. Its about half past one in the morning and I'm going to have to call it a night.
This fic truely is addictive its been a while since i've found something that I can't stop reading, thank you for writing such a intresting and original fic.
I must admit I was midly aprehensive when I saw the title as there are so manny badly written fic's involving Sirius as the main love intrest but you have proven my aprehensions unfounded.

Anyway I have to get up early and go into town (Cardiff!) I have to say I'm so excited that Laura is from Cardiff I dont think I've even read a fan fic with any links to Cardiff, or anywhere in south Wales for that matter.
Right I really need to go to sleep now. 10/10 keep it up :)

Author's Response: Wow, I didn't realise you were from Cardiff! Fantastic. I haven't had a Welsh person reviewing this fic yet (or if I have, then they haven't told me), so you will have to get on my case if I get anything wrong, like figures of speech, references or anything like that. I did want to make this as accurate as possible so any feedback on this sort of thing is most welcome. :D

And yes, there are a lot of very ordinary Sirius/OC fics out there. That was one of the reasons I wrote this one - I couldn't find one that I was happy with that fit with canon properly. So this is what came out of that. So glad you're enjoying it! *beams* Though I do feel guilty to have kept you from your sleep ...

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by pinaygrl3123 

11th October 2009:
Oh thank god he finally showed his true colors to Lily. It's a shame he was so jealous. Not sure if there really was anything that Snape could have done to get Lily's attention in the way he wanted to. I sincerely doubt it though, poor fellow. And ah, that lovely episode where Sirius tries to get Snape killed/turned into a wereworlf. Well then. I love Remus, always have, always will. Haha. And I feel so bad for him! Aw. I do hope that they do all stay such good friends. I don't like how divided they were. Mer. And HA! I love Charlotte. Finally helping Laura... she was bound to figure out.. but it may have taken a looong time without Charlotte's help. YAY for Mary being out of the hospital wing now!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, old Snivellus wasn't the most subtle, was he? But they were still friends at this point - even though in this timeline that's not for all that much longer. As for Sirius, well I do see him as someone who acts before he thinks, particularly at this age. Reckless and impetuous.

Thanks for another awesome review!
Mel


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Review #14, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

9th October 2009:
Laura still needs to open her eyes and live her life not her sisters! OK I am going to read one more chapter tonight and then off to bed...maybe two! Another great one MEL!!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, I totally agree, Laura is completely frustrating in a lot of ways. However her self esteem does improve in the next couple of years so that can only be a good thing. :D

So pleased you're still enjoying this, this is turning into a marathon reading session for you! I'm extremely impressed.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #15, by saffy 

5th October 2009:
see this is why i love this story it has more ...reality to it ..yes thats it the social structure of a school more authentic :)

Author's Response: Ah, saffy, I did try to make it seem real! Or at least as real as a story set in this world can be. So thank you for that! *beams* I just tried to remember what my own schooling was like and applied similar structures to the students in my story, and it sounds like that's worked reasonably well.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #16, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl 

4th October 2009:
Yay, I am so incredibly happy/proud of you for winning a Dobby!!! You totally deserved it =] And I promise, this is not a pointless review! I keep meaning to come back and read some more of this addicting (haha) story, but I have been so terribly lazy lately! Really!

The reason I'm here now is because 1) I wanted to congratulate you and 2) I wanted to be your 500th review for this story ;) I am selfish, yes.

Anyways, maybe I'll overcome my laziness and read some more now, or maybe you won't hear from me for a few years. I'm just kidding. I'm going to do my best to read all the rest that you have posted within one week! We shall see how that goes...

Congratulations again, both for the Dobby and for this, your 500th review!

~CBG

Author's Response: Hello! Welcome back! :D

Wow, my 500th review. It seems like only last month that I was getting my 100th so this is just amazing. And who better to write it than you? :D

I hope you do enjoy the story when you get a chance to get through it - and don't worry, I know exactly what you mean about being busy and the like, I too have a life outside hpff. *grins*

As for that dobby, well, I'm still astonished by that. How completely flattering! It should have sunk in by now but it hasn't, not really.

Anyway thanks again and I hope to read more of your reviews in future :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by SpottedZebra 

29th September 2009:
Hello again!

Since you were so open to the idea of changing chapter 13's title, I brainstormed for you. I totally understand if you banish all of these ideas to the darkest corner of the world, and I won't be offended :)

An Untimely Curse
Mary is Tardy
Naethin's Wrong
Of Acromantulas
Introducing Giant, Man-Eating Spiders
Curses and Security
Wrong with Macdonald
A Task to Perform

I understand if you don't like any of them, but I thought I'd give a hand with the brainstorming.

Once again, fantastic work!!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm astonished that you cared enough to brainstorm for me, that's fantasic! *beams*

Actually I do like a few of these, so I'll work out which one I like the best and change it when I have a bit of time. :D

Thanks again! You're wonderful!

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by Liisarr 

20th September 2009:
Sirius had told Snape how to stop the Whomping Willow, well, whomping.

Lol!
Great chapter! =)

Author's Response: Thanks Liisaar! I'm glad you liked that line. I thought it was rather snappy myself. :D Though how else would you put it?

Thanks for the reviews, I do appreciate that. It's always nice to get readers' reactions as they're going along. *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by nire 

17th September 2009:
Again, thank you for making this story so canon! I keep forgetting about things you have mentioned... and then I realise when you talk about something in your author quote, or something that someone says triggers it in my brain. Itís great.
I really enjoyed that James didnít want any attention on him from saving Snape. I suspect it went far too much across the grain for him. It was a very gallant thing for him to do. [Is gallant the right word to use there? I have had a mind blank].

ďThatís James for you,Ē he said fondly. ďNever does things by halves.Ē
Nice one. Describes him perfectly.

The thing you said about Remus in your last review was great. If you canít trust Remus, who can you trust? So true.. and so evident in this chapter as well. I must admit, Iím getting a bit nervous about Remus and Laura starting to like each other. I really donít want there to be a rift in the girls.. since Charlotte like him. But I do like that they are opening up with each other... or rather, she is opening up with Remus and he is trying to bat off those insecurities of her. Itís good for her. I think Remus is just totally adept at reading people.
I really canít wait til he convinces her that there is just no cool/uncool people thing.. well rather she sees that there she is awesome. Iím hoping that through their conversations they can all start to get to know each other a little better.
Iím thinking that now since the incident with Mary, that she and James can become more better acquainted. He will probably acknowledge her in the corridor now, which is a positive coz then Sirius will notice her! Eeeep! So exciting.

Oh and also, Iím really looking forward to Laura talking to Lily about James. I canít wait to see how that goes down... and Iím liking Lilyís gradual change. You can tell itís all starting to turn in her head. She and James are becoming more defined and she and Snape are detaching. Itís fabulous... in a sad way of course... coz I know it ends with Snape.

I did like that the girls are all pretty much friends now. Especially since Mary is back. Iím glad they welcomed her with open arms! :)

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Ah, you're brilliant. Thank you again! :D

You've got my reading of Remus spot on - he's very good at reading people. And he's a nice guy so he tries to say the right things. JKR said once that he's so keen for people to like him that he's willing to overlook the bad things about them, and I tried to capture that in my characterisation of him (though most of Laura's faults are things like insecurity ... having said that, I really hope that she doesn't turn out Mary-Sue-ish, that's something that's so hard to judge when you're someone's creator). Oh, I'm rambling now. Sorry!

I will say nothing about your interpretations of what's coming up - like all authors I'm very guarded about that sort of thing so you will just have to read on. :D

You're right in suggesting that at the moment this is more a Lily/James story than a Laura/Sirius story, though that does change later on. But I thought it was important to try to capture Lily's change, like you said, and put her reactions to the Snape's worst memory thing in that context. I never thought she hated James there, more that she was frustrated with him,and there's a pretty big difference.

And yes, the girls are friends now. I didn't want them to be only acquaintances as they finish school and this was a good way to bring them together. Though of course Laura stays closer to Mary than the others - they do go back further, after all.

Oh, I've written another essay! Oh well. Your fault for writing such a great review. :D

Thanks again, Mel


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Review #20, by BellaRose 

27th May 2009:
i only just found this story but have found that i really like it and i cant wait to read more! i really like Mary, she so funny and has a wicked accent which you write well.

Author's Response: Thanks BellaRose, it's always great to have some more readers! I'm glad you're enjoying it and I'm also glad that Mary's accent has come off as believable, as if I'm completely honest I don't really know the Scottish accent all that well. (Though maybe I've just been lucky and no Scots have read it yet to tell me how badly I've got it wrong.) Anyway I hope you keep on reading (and reviewing?), there's lots more to come.
thanks, Mel.


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Review #21, by Twilight_Princess 

26th May 2009:
Yay! Mary's back!! I wonder if the girl's will continue to hang out with them or will both Mary and Laura go back to hanging out with each other?? And what will Remus intake of Laura's cool and uncool kids theory take him (even though it's true.. half the time)?? I do hope you can update soon!!

Author's Response: Hi Twilight_Princess! Thanks for reviewing again, I always look forward to your reviews. Yes it's great that Mary's back, and I don't think I'm spoiling anything if I say that the girls will all hang out together a lot more from now on.

As for cool kids, well it's half my life ago that I was at school, but that's how it was for every school I went to - cool kids and the others, and never the twain shall meet. So I didn't see why Hogwarts should be any different.

thanks again, Mel.


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