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34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gryffindor_Pheonix_Girl 

14th April 2013:
I am really enjoying this but it just seems to be a little slow :)

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Review #2, by ASC 

10th October 2009:
I really like your story and your writing. There are so many facets to it, with multiple characters. I think you blend your own characters really well with the original characters... I am just getting so nervous that I am going to end up crying!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for that. :)

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Review #3, by Girldetective85 

30th September 2009:
Hi Mitchy! I'm back to leave reviews :) :) I know I say this every time, but your Dramiones always wow me. They are the only exception to the fact that I hate this pairing. I think the only reason I hate this pairing is because most people write them so unbelievably, but you make it seem perfectly natural and canon so there really isn't any reason to hate D/H any more is there?! The way you build up their relationship is flawless. In this one chapter you managed to create more chemistry than most Dramione authors do in an entire novel length story. I love the way you had Draco's passion and uncertainty kind of battle each other in the opening scene; I could really feel this reluctant pull he has towards Hermione. They are from completely different worlds and opposite sides, yet there's this force that is drawing them inexorably together.

The scene with Naomi and Hayden was so powerful. Hayden's heartbreak and shock at these new developments was very obvious, and the news that he had killed Hermione - WOW. I can't wait to find out more about this storyline. There was one section in the middle where you had copy and pasted the same paragraph over twice - the one where he was demanding of Naomi why he had heard his mother screaming during the car accident. :)

My favorite section of this chapter undoubtedly is when Draco and Hermione abandon all pretenses. I love, love, LOVE this paragraph: "There were no holding hands when they walked together, nor arms wrapped possessively around each other's waists, nor exaggerated sweet names, nor mushy gifts he presented to her like red flowers, nor a huge stuffed heart, not even a romantic declaration of love. Everything that lovers do for the sake of public display of affection was set aside. All of that wasn't necessary to make the audience notice the change between them." They are so above all that - they don't need to do all the obvious "couple" things to show the chemistry that is rising between them. Wonderful descriptions.

This story is amazing.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you sweetheart for the wonderful review. You really kept your promise! :) I haven't read many Dramiones yet, and I don't like all Dramione stories either. I know what you mean. Maybe it's just because of Draco's "bad guy" image that I like him so much.
It's hard to write them without making them totally OOC, I know. I think I made here and there a couple of mistakes, too, so my Dramione isn't that flawless... LOL ^_^ I turned Draco kind of into a softy with depressions, and Hermione into a neurotic, apathetic girl who's possessed with sating her curiosity about Hayden that she completely forgets about her friends. In my story, Draco and Hermione really DON'T like each other, and they DO try to avoid and hate each other, but because of Hayden's, their son's, "secret" magic, they feel this attraction towards each other, which they mistakenly confuse with love.

Thank you for pointing out that error in the H/N scene. Oopsy. I wonder why no one else noticed... *hmpf* And I wonder how THAT happened, that I copy-pasted the same paragraph without noticing it. Huh??? o.O

*hugs*


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Review #4, by Kiana Black  

9th July 2009:
This is an excellent story so far.
I just love the plot!
Hayden's a great character. :) Definitely Hermione's son. ;P With a bit of Draco in there as well.
I like Naomi too. She's very mysterious, in a way?
Wow! Hayden accidentally killed Hermione? That's soo sad. And he doesn't remember now, right? Because Naomi erased his memory.
I love Draco and Hermione's 'plan' for Hayden lol!
Annnyway, looking forward to the next chapter! Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks, Kiana! :)
Yeah, Naomi is indeed a bit mysterious. Same for Hayden, but at least we know his intentions, right? :)
Yeah, he doesn't remember that particular "incident" down at the lake because of Naomi.


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Review #5, by emilysoxo 

8th July 2009:
ahh im kinda confused!
whtas going on with naomi?
shes like evil- bitc* from hell type of thing
"protecting him nonsense"
why does she not want draco and hermione to get together?
and why did her paretns leave her as a kid?
ahh
im assuming itll be explained in the following chapters
you still have a really cool and unique plot!

Author's Response: Yeah, of course it'll be explained in later chapters! :) Though I haven't thought ahead that this story was going to so long. :( Thanks for dropping by anyway, hun! :)

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Review #6, by ginger-cat86 

6th July 2009:
This was fabulous. I love it so far.
Please update soon.

xx

Author's Response: Thanks. :)

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Review #7, by amalfoyjewel 

1st July 2009:
omg i hate Naomi so freaking much, evil girl.

Author's Response: Hehehe Yeah at this point we all hate Naomi! :) Thanks for the comment! :)

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Review #8, by mione_101 

23rd June 2009:
i luv it. please update soon. the story is great and youre a great writer. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the comment and the compliment! :)

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Review #9, by adluvshp 

17th June 2009:
Well that was actually "Smething more". I loved this chapter.
AND OMG! Hayden killed HERMIONE???!!! How? WHen? Did draco know? what hpnd? how cum draco and cho made up? Whats all this about?! You really really need to update soon!

And yes! The dramione romance was awesum!

Author's Response: Yes, Hayden killed Hermione by accident when he was a child. Yes, Draco knew it.
Well, I can't answer the other questions without spoiling it. :)
Thanks for taking the time in reading and leaving a comment. :)


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Review #10, by dramione_2308 

11th June 2009:
that. was. intense.
why cant you update faster, hun?
i lurve the story so much i cant wait to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: Thanks. Sorry if I take SO long to update. >.< hehe

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Review #11, by Claudia Mayze 

5th June 2009:
OHH!! fabulous as usual! I love this story so much, I think it's my favorite fanfic. Great job, I can't wait until you update again!

Author's Response: I definitely will soon. Hope it won't take me that long... Thanks for reading my story. :)

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Review #12, by littlemisshuntress 

4th June 2009:
i like it alot so far.even though naomi sounds a bit like a twit if you ask me...altering memories like that...how rude

Author's Response: :) Yeah... but she has a purpose in this story. You'll see... Thanks a lot for reading my story. :)

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Review #13, by Orabella 

30th May 2009:
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg i cant beleive the plot twist!! that was insane!!! im super super excited for the next chapter. haha the lunch scene made me smile :)

Author's Response: Thanks. :)

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Review #14, by Lillylover22 

30th May 2009:
omg Dr/C in the future??!! EWWW!! yuck!!! i feel sorry for hayden cause he killed his mum!! 9/10 =]

Author's Response: Yeah, unfortunately D/C will end up in the future together, IF Hayden fails his mission. ;)

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Review #15, by angelmaple 

28th May 2009:
WOW. That was... pretty intense. I mean the Hayden/Naomi confrontation. Great job! Looking forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you, my dear! :)

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Review #16, by mgmve 

26th May 2009:
What is this plan of Naomi's? Is she really trying to help Hayden or is she there for her own personal agenda? I take it from the last sentence that she is trying to help him save his mother as well as his parents relationship. But I'm having trouble trusting her even though I'm sure she's a true friend and trying to help! Please updaet as soon as you can! I absolutely love this story and can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) Sorry for responding just now. It's been a busy year and I doubt you're still reading? (-_-)

Anyway, so far I can assure you that Naomi has good intentions. Hayden is her best friend since childhood, so it natural she'd be there for him no matter what happens. :)

I hope you come back and read more. :D It would mean a lot to me. :)


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Review #17, by Draco's Girl. 

26th May 2009:
Hey! Wow. What an addicting story! I can't wait for more!
It's really well written and the plot has some unpredictable twists- but we are still satisfied. Great work!
Keep 'em coming.

~Lily.

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Review #18, by Alexis_yj 

26th May 2009:
You've got a new reader:D
gosh! Dr/c=yikes!!! But i'm pretty sure you have your reasons for that. There are so many twists in this story! I never expected hayden to be the one who killed his mum.. Quite a shocker.

There's this repeated part i don't get. "there's something i could remember.
.
.
.
.
when i was supposed to be in the manor"

Anyways great story so far!! :]

Author's Response: Hello! :) YAY a new reader! :D

Well, let me explain that part:
"There was something I could remember, Naomi, about the 'car accident' years ago. How come I could hear my mom's screaming like I've been around when she was hit by the 'car' when I was supposed to be in the manor?"

You have to go back to the last chapter, the part when Hayden tried re-creating the scene of his mother's "car accident".

Starting here:
"He drew a rectangle that was meant to represent his home, the manor. ..."

Hayden was inside the manor and the path leading to the gate took about 5 minutes or longer depending whether he ran or walked. There were usually no cars passing by, so how could Hermione have been hit by a car? More importantly, hear her scream so clearly from the street even though he was inside the manor?

I hope that helps. :s Otherwise just feel free to PM me on the forums or leave a comment on my MTA thread to ask questions. :D

Thank you for reading. :)


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Review #19, by bjay093 

24th May 2009:
i love this story. but i want draco and hermione to fall in love...=]
but you are really really really good,.

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Review #20, by Linn 

24th May 2009:
Aah, so good.
Love your writing and original plot.
Really really good.

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Review #21, by gocnocturna 

23rd May 2009:
oh my. I love this story, and it makes me think. I can't wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! 1million/10!

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Review #22, by DmslilAngel103 

22nd May 2009:
AWESOME POSSOMS!! 8D

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Review #23, by EmoSk8rbabe 

22nd May 2009:
Awesome story! Omg, u totally need to finish this story I'm dieing to find out how it ends.I love the plot and the storyline and the whole dramatic scene. I lik the names too. Hayden is a nice name. ..
LOL
Bye, EmoSk8rbabe
Ps u are a wonderful author :)))

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Review #24, by Veronica 

22nd May 2009:
Wow.. so many questions answered and so many questions formed with this chapter. So Hayden Killed Hermione by Accident, so now the question is how can he change the past so that he doesn't do that again... complicated!! And Cho ends up with Draco after Hermione's Death.. WOW, obviously if she didn't die, then Draco wouldn't end up with her. So really the only one that can fix it somehow has to be Naomi since she put another memory charm on Hayden...I really hope she has a plan.. Hehe... And actually she seems to know more than meets the eye... she knows that Draco and Hermione are faking, and at the same time knows that even though they are faking, it will backfire on them. I am thinking Naomi is an expert on time traveling or something.Great chapter...Update soon..

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Review #25, by Jemione 

22nd May 2009:
Draco and Cho? No, that's not right :D It'll be interesting to see how that happened...

So, what, it was Hayden who killed Hermione? I'm finding that hard to believe. I don't know, it's just weird that it would have been him.

The table conversation seemed awkward to me in some way, but luckily Draco swooped in and saved the day :D I liked the way they got everyone's attention with such simple little deeds.

I think I spotted some mistakes:
'I have killed my mum?' - 'I killed my mum?' sounds better.
'You were a little, you've played with your mother's wand...' - You were a little WHAT? And also, 'you played' is better than 'you've played'.
'They've both married four years ago.' - 'They've been married for four years' or 'They got married four years ago' would give the right impression. Now it sounds like they've gotten married to other people than each other.

Those were close to each other, I don't know if there were other little things but that caught my attention.

Update a bit faster this time, will you? :D

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